If you need to snooze
And you can’t do links
Who ya gonna call?
Call SP!
If you want some news
With no HM kinks
Who ya gonna call?
Call SP!
She ain’t afraid of no Glibs.
Good morning, my Glib friends. And the rest of you, too.
First, let me address a nasty rumor you may have heard floating around the Tubes. Sloopy has NOT, I repeat NOT, abdicated. He told me he was going out for a pack of smokes and he’d be right back.
Now that I’ve cleared that up….
It was a beautiful weekend here at Chez SP/OMWC, except for the #CincoDeDrinko attempt on OMWC’s life by a certain Señor Sharpshooter.
Truthfully, I don’t think it was Mexican’s largesse that almost did in OMWC, but, rather, the fact that he is actually, truly OLD and yet insists on mowing the acreage with a push lawnmower as if he were a teenager. If only the Glib I know with a landscaping business were closer, I’d get OMWC off his own damn lawn.
Oh, right, sports. Sadly, OMWC is not having a good time this MLB season. My beloved Cubbies are currently 4th in the NL Central, but they are still doing better than the Orioles.
Our hometown-ish independent league baseball team, the Boomers, plays an exhibition game tonight at home against the Joliet Slammers (what a great name). We have a great love of minor and independent league baseball. There is just something charming about the small stadiums, enthusiasm of the players (who are usually making about $500/month), and camaraderie of the fans. And, hey, gotta love the prices! We’ll be there for a few games this season, hopefully joined by Swiss.
In Albuquerque, the 33rd Annual Run for the Zoo took place. At least one Glib lurker was among the 12,000 participants. Here are the race results. When I lived in New Mexico, the BioPark was one of my favorite places to go.
In other sports, some other stuff happened, but, eh.
Scary stuff intensifying with Kilauea, the volcano currently causing problems in Hawaii. I hope any Glibs close to the situation are safe and sound, and their properties, too. TW: autoplay; WaPo
While I was staffing the Editorial Desk, Chafed sent in this gem. I guess someone whose doctoral dissertation was titled, “The Other Side: the Secret Relationship Between Nazism and Zionism” might, in fact, be harboring some antisemitic ideas. Yes, that’s H/T Chafed.
You know public employees in the great state of California are really suffering, and this planned strike shakedown is going to fix everything. “The union cites growing income disparity, higher healthcare premiums, outsourcing of low-paying service worker jobs and an internal union research document that they say proves that women and minorities at the university are regularly paid less than white men.” (If it’s an internal union document, it must be true and unbiased!)
Ready to book your summer vacation travel? I’ll get the sign-up ready for the Glib Tour.
SEA SMITH GLAD TO SEE YOU. GET IT…SEA, SEE! OK, SEA SMITH WORK ON ROUTINE MORE. HE WANT TO GO TO OPEN MIC NIGHT AT CLUB. SAW SIGN FOR OPEN MIC WHEN HE GO SEE OLD BAND PLAY. THEM LOSE STEP, BUT STILL HAVE PLENTY GROUPIES TO HANG OUT WITH. BY HANG OUT WITH, MEAN RAPE. SO SEA SMITH GIVE LINKS AND GO WORK ON JOKES.
SEA SMITH SAD FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE RUN FROM VOLCANO. SEA SMITH PROMISE HE NO MESS WITH RESCUE AND EVACUATIONS. BY MESS WITH, MEAN RAPE. SEA SMITH GO AND STAY NEAR LAVA … BEST HOT TUBBING!
SEA SMITH FIND JOB HE NO WANT. TOO SHOOT-Y. OR SHOULD SAY TOO SHOOT-Y AT-Y. WHATEVER IT BE, HE NO WANT.
SEA SMITH SAY “WHAT COULD GO WRONG?” SEA SMITH THINK PLENTY. NOT IT MATTER TO SEA SMITH. HE DNA EVERYWHERE. HA! SEA SMITH MAKE A FUNNY!
CANNOT WAIT TO GO FIND SHIP! NAME WHAT MAKE SEA SMITH LAUGH. IF HE FIND SHIP THERE BE “BLISS”. BY BLISS, MEAN RAPE. LOTS.
SEA SMITH GO NOW, LEAVE YOU ONE FINAL JOKE. WHERE SHELLFISH GO WHEN BORROW MONEY? TO PRAWN BROKER! HAHAHAHA! SEA SMITH GETTING HANG OF JOKES!
Last December, I bought a stand mixer and have been busily learning to bake ever since. Unfortunately, my decorating ambitions exceed my skill. I made a peppermint cake using ground candy canes. I wanted to make it look like a peppermint candy.
Peppermint Cake by Tulip
I think if you squint and tilt your head, it sorta looks like a candy.
Anyway, even if your decorating skills are like mine (or Sloopy’s) you can still make an impressive cake using the checkerboard technique. Of course, the most important thing to remember is: IT’S CAKE! People want to eat it no matter what it looks like.
Libby’s Birthday Cake by Sloopy
I’m making a red velvet and devil’s food checkerboard cake. I like making a checkerboard cake because it has a high impact to work ratio. I am using the recipes from Diva’s Can Cook: Red Velvet Cake and Devil’s Food Cake. I am making half recipes of each type of cake because I don’t want to make a four layer cake. I am not going to show you how to make the cakes; I believe Glibs can follow recipes and UCS has already provided a great demonstration of how to make a cake. I want to show how to turn the layers into a cool looking checkerboard cake.
A few basic tips. Make sure your eggs have come to room temperature. Also, regardless of what a recipe says, I prepare my pans by buttering and flouring the pan. Don’t try to use cooking spray. It leads to flour lumps.
After you have baked the cakes and they have cooled*, make frosting. I made cream cheese frosting to go with the red velvet cake. Baked Cakes
I have pie/biscuit cutters, but you can do this by making a template to cut around as well, or just use a bowl or lid and cut around that. I used a 9 inch cake pan and 6 and 3 inch cutters.
Cutting Tools
Center the cutters over the cake and cut it out – you should have two rings and a small round.
Cut the Rings
Separate the pieces.
Separated Rings
These cakes are both made using oil instead of butter. That results in a very tender and fragile cake, so I need to be careful when separating and assembling the cakes. Normally, I would re-assemble the cakes and then stack, but with these cakes, I will assemble it on the cake plate.
When both cakes are separated, you’re ready to assemble the checkerboard. Put a ring of red velvet on the cake plate. Put frosting on the inside piece, then add a ring of devil’s food, add frosting and then put the round of red velvet.
First Layer Assembled
Now do the second layer.
Assembling Second Layer
Once it is assembled, it’s ready to frost.
Finished AssemblyIced Cake
On the outside, it looks like your basic cake, but when it is sliced open Voila!
As a variation, you could make a vanilla cake. Pour out the first layer of cake batter into one pan, then add food coloring to the mixing bowl and pour the second layer in the other pan. I only cut one ring for this cake.
Vanilla Checkerboard
You could also skip the cutting and assembling, and just make each layer different. If you make each layer a little darker, you have an ombre cake. This one is white chocolate, milk chocolate and dark chocolate. I put raspberry jam between the layers.
Chocolate Ombre Cake
* these are both soft moist cakes, so I refrigerated them before cutting.
…and the confirmed predictions keep rolling in! Between the Glibs engagement, hookups with hotties, and the fishing fotos we have further proof that the stars never lie.*
What do we have for you this week? Well, as always, some things stay the same. The sun is still in Taurus, so that’s good for ranchers. We still have Mercury in Aries harshing everyone’s mellow and making my job harder. And we still have a retrograde Jupiter in Scorpio. But…
Celestial Ying-Yang
This week we have an odd alignment of that retrograde Jupiter with Sol and our own Terra Firma. That amplifies the Jovian effects out the celestial ying-yang. So it becomes more important to get a handle what Jupiter is actually doing as it’s spinning the wrong way through Scorpio. I think in this case, it’s crucial to get some context from the rest of the chart and how it relates to this. So as above, we’ve got the Mercury in Aries thing. This tension/ambivalence simultaneously makes our interpretation both easier and harder. It indicates that both of alternativeinterpretations will be true, but that we won’t be able to necessarily know how they are applying. The conclusions are:
Your OCD is going to be worse than usual.
You should spend some time focusing on your genitals.
If you have the opportunity to cloister yourself with someone (actually two someones, see below) for said genital-focusing you should take it.
Said time should involve “unnatural acts.”
Venus in Gemini indicates it’s a great time for three-way lovin’, twincest, and/or mirror use. Related to that, there is also an alignment of Venus with Sol and Mercury, so if this is your first time with said twins, take it. Actually, why would you need me to tell you to accept the offer of a threeway with a set of twins? What is wrong with you?
In non-hot-group-action signs, we have an addition to the sports betting signals that have been hanging out for a few weeks: the moon comes into conjunction with mars. This is a change sign, so if you’ve been lucky betting on a particular team, this week they will let you down.
Tarot update: I suck at image editing, and I’ve been busier than something that is extremely busy in folksy analogies. If there is anyone out there who is competent and enjoys this sort of thing, let me know.
There is a reason the Rider-Waite deck is so popular: it’s got a ton of detail to fixate on and inspire drug-assisted mental connections. So sometimes (barring the intervention of actual artists) I’ll be just adding things onto existing cards, like so:
So here, it’s a simple matter of replacing the scepter with a banhammer and adding Her initials to the shield. We get to keep the reclining position, the crown of stars, etc. that are used for interpretation cues.
While I do like R-W, it seems more appropriate for The Tower to use one from The Cthulu Mythos Tarot:
Of course, this brings up a good question: How do we communicate the glibness of the Arcana? The SPempress is relatively easy, as is The Sun, Reversed:
Hello, Rufus!
But for SF, should we use the current hedobot avatar, or the earlier Snidely Whiplash? Hedobot with a Snidely Whiplash mustache?
If anyone has a preference how they are to be represented, please let me know, or better yet, send me the artwork. Honestly, an actual photo of Yusef with a bindle walking along the edge of a wall at Slab City would be AWESOME.
In the fine tradition of Cortes, Mexican Sharpshooter laid me low yesterday. His evil plot did not succeed- I am still alive- but I must admit that he winged me pretty good. Yes, it was the beer he sent me, the New Belgium Lips of Faith “Le Terroir”; after drinking it, I did not feel well, and ended up taking to my bed to detoxify my humors. Clearly, this is a beer that’s antisemitic. I’m also guessing that the name was a typo and that this was actually made with the extract from a Terrier.
In any case, I think I have expelled most of the poison, transferring my suffering to the porcelain, so I can at least drop some news items here for your amusement and commentary.
What does WaPo love the most? Yep, Rednecks In The Mist articles. What happens when you send their most rabid Obama-worshipper to an NRA convention? I think you know.
And this is a truly fascinating article about a very intriguing prosecutor. If there’s any locals here, I’d love to know what people on the ground there really think of this guy.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I wonder if we can start getting progs on board for the idea of taking the First Amendment seriously? Eh, it’s a dream, I know.
Why is this totally non-surprising? What got my attention was the added bit that simulates ejaculation. I keep thinking of the Shake Weight on South Park.
And finally, Old Guy Music. There’s something unique about this song, care to guess?
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. HAVING LIFTED YOU FROM BRUTALITY, TO SNARK AT THE FILTH OF BRUTALS WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH, AS IT ONCE WAS…ZARDOZ OFFERS YOU THE NIGHT OFF TO MEXICANIZE YOURSELVES. FEEL FREE TO DRINK, CULTURALLY APPROPRIATE SOMBREROS AND MARGARITAS AND TACOS AND THE LIKE. FOR TOMORROW, IT IS BACK TO THE SAME OLD, SAME OLD… KEEPING THE BRUTALS IN CHECK.
HEED THE WORD!
SOMEWHERE A TROLL FROM ANOTHER SITE CRIES A SINGLE TEAR. OK, MORE LIKE HE IS BAWLING LIKE A NEWBORN BRUTAL. PERHAPS KINDLY OLD GRAMPA WOULD LIKE TO PAY MORE TAXES NOW TOO?
ZARDOZ HAS CONSULTED THE TABERNACLE. BUT HAS DEEMED IT WISE TO WAITFOR THE OPINION OF THE SENTIENT HAT AND HAIR THAT CONTROL THE BRUTAL LEADER OF THE USA.
ZARDOZ MUST WARN THE BRUTAL MUSK THAT THE PENIS IS EVIL! KNOCK IT OFF, ELON!
ZARDOZ LEAVES HIS CHOSEN ONES WITH THE GIFT OF THE FINEST ANIMATED SHORT EVER MADE FOR BRUTALS.
During the month long training leading up to my first deployment I learned something interesting: the Iraqi insurgents were well-versed in American holidays. The tactic was to lob mortars into the FOB (Forward Operating Base) during days off, when they assumed American personnel would not be expecting it. Great approach from a tactical standpoint, but the element of surprise wears off once you do it on every holiday for nearly a decade.
Which brings me to the relevant story.
My second deployment I arrived in June 2009. The Air Force had rotations overlap for continuity that usually lasted about a week. Looking around the CE yard, we could tell the previous rotation had an interesting time.
Electrician 1: “Yeah, they hit us last month over by the cable reels. Didn’t damage anything.”
Me: “Really? I was at this FOB last summer, it was super quiet.”
Electrician 2: “Yeah it was on the 5th. They tried Presidents Day, MLK, New Years, Christmas—“
Me: “Wait, the 5th? They hit you on Cinco de Drinko?”
This is my review of Dos Equis. Cue the most interesting marketing campaign in the world.
What did you expect, an old man in a suit?
I just want to get this out of the way: as I am certain a number if you are well-aware, Cinco de Mayo is NOT Mexican Independence Day. That is Diez y Seis de Septiembre (9/16/1810).
So what is Cinco de Mayo, then? First a bit of background. The Mexican President at the time was Benito Juarez. That’s the guy on the 20. He’s actually somewhat interesting, but not in the same way as Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna. I actually learned about both in 7th grade history. By the time Juarez was elected Mexico was under substantial war debts. First there was the War of Independence from Spain (ended 1810), following that was the Texas Revolution (1835-1836), the Mexican-American War (1846-1848) and Mexico had its own civil war (1858-1861). Juarez didn’t have much choice, given their economy at the time, but to default on foreign debt.
In 1862 Britain, Spain and France demanded payment, and all sent troops to Mexico with the intent of collecting. Evidently, leg breaking was an acceptable foreign policy at the time.
Juarez was able to make a deal with Britain and Spain. France, then under Napoleon III (not the short guy), had other plans. The empire building type of plans…Which brings us to the Battle of Puebla.
Nacho
The French stormed Veracruz with 6000 soldiers and assumed a quick end to the war. They marched north where the Mexican government exiled themselves, towards La Puebla de Los Angeles. Under General Ignacio Zaragoza, a force of 2000 Mexicans attacked from the north side of the town. The French, seeing early losses of 5 to 1, decided this was not the hill to die on, and retreated.
While it wasn’t a strategic victory in any sense, it did become a rallying cry for the Mexican resistance. The war itself did not take long and the ensuing occupation lasted six years. Archduke Ferdinand Maximilian, the puppet ruler picked by Napoleon III to rule Mexico, was not widely recognized as a legitimate ruler by anybody in North America. Following the American Civil War, the US officially recognized the Mexican Government under Juarez, which was the beginning of the end for the self-declared King of Mexico. He was captured and executed by firing squad.
His bullet riddled shirt was put on display in full view of the public.
Other than that, it’s really an excuse to drink Mexican beer and make tacos. Here’s a good recipe.
This is not my favorite Mexican beer, that is Negra Modelo, but there is nothing wrong with this: Dos Equis 2.5/5.
It’s Cinco de Mayo, which is Spanish for “day drinking.” And night drinking as well. I’m queued up with a bottle of something interesting from Mexican Sharpshooter and, of course, margarita makings. Coincidentally, the always-delightful Chef John posted his margarita recipe, which is touted as “Perfect” and probably is, since it’s pretty much what we do- much less sweet and much more flavorful than the typical crap you get at restaurants and bars. Having it made by a Jew, of course, is Step 1 in cultural appropriation. Or is it?
One book I loved reading was Bernal Dial del Castillo’s classic “The True History of the Conquest of New Spain,” his eye-witness account of Cortes’s wars against the Aztecs and eventual conquest of Mexico. And interestingly, if there was one thing Cortes enjoyed doing more than killing Aztecs, it was killing Jews or even people suspected of being Jews. In a particular instance of ingratitude, the Catholic conquistadors burned Hernando Alonzo, who was accused of being a secret Jew, at the stake- the fact that he had made himself wealthy and (in an early form of asset forfeiture) his possessions would be confiscated had nothing to do with it. Hmmm, hated Jews, hated people who made themselves successful and wealthy while being himself quite wealthy, looks like Cortes would fit beautifully into today’s Democratic Party. They might even make him vice-chairman.
In any case, (((we))) have a long history in Mexico, the revolution pretty much ended the Catholic practice of Jew-killing and granted (((us))) far more religious freedom, so fuck you, I’m drinking margaritas today. And bringing you links.
We all laughed at the moron city councilman from Washington, DC who claimed that Jews controlled the weather. Well, who’s laughing NOW, assholes?
Isn’t it delightful that with Team Red in control, people who love to talk about smaller government and the rule of law, that the whole unconstitutional domestic spying thing is going awa… oh wait, never mind.
Old Guy Music today of course follows the theme “Mexicans and Jews,” though to be fair, there’s not much Steve Berlin in this cut. Doesn’t matter, it’s a great song.
“DEAR ABBY”. NO GIVE GOOD ADVICE.STEVE SMITH #1 ADVICE GIVER!
STEVE SMITH HERE TO GIVE ADVICE! HIM SEE TOO MANY PEOPLE GO LOOK AT “DEAR ABBY” COLUMN FOR HELP. THAT NO GOOD! STEVE SMITH DO BETTER. HIM HELP FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE. HERE BETTER ADVICE THAN OLD LADY WHO SMELL LIKE HAIRSPRAY AND BRAN FLAKES:
Q: We moved to the country, but we’re not really far out of town. My educated, urbane, professional husband who has always lived in the city, now bypasses our 2 1/2 bathrooms and relieves himself outdoors in a “king of all he surveys” pose.
We no longer have children living at home, and he refrains from doing it when we have company or there’s any possibility of his being seen, but it still drives me crazy! Could I be jealous because I am female, or should I join him? Is it truly as unsanitary as it seems, and is my letter a “first”? — TEMPTED IN CALIFORNIA
A: STEVE SMITH LIKE HUSBAND. STEVE SMITH POSE AS “KING OF ALL HE SURVEYS” WHEN HIM GO TOO! OF COURSE, STEVE SMITH IS KING OF ALL HIM SURVEY, IN FOREST. STEVE SMITH I, FIRST OF THAT NAME, KING OF FOREST! LORD OF RAPE! EARL OF ASSAULT! …
BACK TO QUESTION. OF COURSE YOU JEALOUS. JOIN IF CAN. IF JOIN, MAKE IT QUICKER FOR STEVE SMITH IF HIM VISIT. BY VISIT, MEAN RAPE. IF TOO EMBARRASSED TO JOIN, HIT HUSBAND ON HEAD WITH BIG ROCK, MAKE STOP.
NO GO HERE!
Q: I need advice badly. A close family member has been living with a woman who sexually assaults people by grabbing their genitalia, kissing them forcibly on the mouth and touching their buttocks. She’s completely without boundaries.
We have an important family event coming up and have decided not to invite her because we don’t feel safe around her. The close family member is incensed with us, furious even. He chalks his girlfriend’s transgressions up to “medical events.”
Abby, are we right to not allow her to be part of situations where she will undoubtedly behave like this? Or must we “just accept it and move on,” as our family member insists, in spite of being well aware of her pattern of behavior? — ANONYMOUS IN THE EAST
A: STEVE SMITH SYMPATHIZE WITH CRAZY WOMAN….BUT HIM NO TRUCK WITH COMPETITORS. CAN BE ONLY ONE WITHOUT BOUNDARIES! AT LEAST ON LAND. COUSIN SEA SMITH HAVE NO BOUNDARIES IN WATER. STEVE SMITH HAVE TALK WITH CLOSE FAMILY MEMBER ABOUT MANNERS. BY HAVE TALK WITH, MEAN RAPE. IF HIM NO LEAVE CRAZY GIRLFRIEND BEHIND, STEVE SMITH SAY RELAX. TRY ENJOY IT. OR HIT CRAZY ON HEAD WITH BIG ROCK. YOU CHOICE.
STEVE SMITH WANT TALK!
Q:When I met my husband, he dressed impeccably — suits, sharp sport coats, monogrammed shirts, freshly pressed dress slacks, top-of-the-line leather shoes. Even when we went out with friends for a casual night or a movie, he still dressed well in current, fashionable clothing. I fell in love with a man who dressed beautifully (my father was known for his attire as well, which is perhaps why I like the successful look).
Now that he’s retired, his jeans always look dingy (they’re not dirty; they just look like they are), his sneakers look worn, and he just doesn’t care about his appearance like he once did. When we go out together, I’m embarrassed.
I love the man who used to care about his appearance, not this retired, sloppy-looking guy. If I complain, he tells me I’m being ridiculous. I don’t expect him to look like he once did (office attire), but he should at least look current, crisp and clean. Am I wrong to be embarrassed? — LIKES THE OLD LOOK
A: STEVE SMITH IS DISAPPOINT. YOU SOUND LIKE IN LOVE WITH CLOTHES. NOT MAN. “CLOTHES DO NOT MAKE THE MAN”. HIM WORK HARD ALL CAREER, NOW HIM WANT RELAX, YOU NAG. STEVE SMITH SAY LEAVE ALONE! HIM VISIT TO MAKE SURE YOU SHOW RESPECT. BY VISIT, MEAN RAPE.
STEVE SMITH DRESS “FOREST CASUAL” ALMOST ALL TIME.
WHY YOU NO LIKE CASUAL LOOK?ONLY GO FANCY AS “STEPHEN SMYTHE”
NOW STEVE SMITH MAKE EXCEPTION. IF YOU HUSBAND LOOK LIKE THIS:
The Swedish Academy has decided to postpone the 2018 Nobel Prize in Literature, with the intention of awarding it in 2019. According to the Swedish Foundations Act, the Nobel Foundation is ultimately responsible for fulfilling the intentions in the will of Alfred Nobel. During the past several weeks, we have pursued a continuous dialogue with the Swedish Academy, and we support Thursday’s decision.
In principle, the Nobel Prize shall be awarded every year, but decisions on Nobel Prizes have been postponed on a number of occasions during the history of the prizes. One of the circumstances that may justify an exception is when a situation in a prize-awarding institution arises that is so serious that a prize decision will not be perceived as credible.
The crisis in the Swedish Academy has adversely affected the Nobel Prize. Their decision underscores the seriousness of the situation and will help safeguard the long-term reputation of the Nobel Prize. None of this impacts the awarding of the 2018 Nobel Prizes in other prize categories.
The controversy which has continued for months surrounding the Swedish Academy “seriously damaged” the reputation of the Nobel Prize in Literature, the prestigious body announced in a statement on Friday.
The scandal started with 18 women publicly accusing well-known photographer Jean-Claude Arnault of sexual misconduct last November. The French-born Arnault is married to a Swedish Academy member Katarina Frostenson and the duo wields significant influence in Sweden’s art world.
The women claimed Arnault assaulted or raped them. The accusations, which cover the period between 1996 and 2017, were published in Sweden’s reputable Dagens Nyheter newspaper in the wake of the #MeToo movement. Also, according to the paper, Arnault bullied his victims into silence by threatening to use his contacts with the Academy and other influential people to “blacklist” them.
So the Nobel Prize for Literature is not being awarded because the husband of a member of the Academy who decided the recipient of the award is Chester the Molester. The scandal has resulted in a lack of a quorum. Quorum. Quorum is a funny word to say.
The world will bravely have to face an entire year without knowing the next Svetlana Alexievich or J. M. G. Le Clézio lurking in our midst.
A Kansas man attempting to insert his penis into the tailpipe of a car had to be subdued with a stun gun after refusing to listen to police.
“We were called to the 1200 block of East Broadway to a report of a naked male underneath a car,” said Lt. Scott Powell of the Newton (Kansas) Police Department. “.. He was attempting to stick his penis into the tailpipe of the vehicle.”
The suspect did not respond to officer commands and officers used a stun gun to subdue him, the Newton Kansan reported.
Powell said the man was intoxicated to the point of being incoherent.
Police submitted a report to city prosecutors recommending a misdemeanor charge of lewd and lascivious behavior, the Associated Press reported.
So many jokes. Joke overload! ARGH! GET AWAY FROM MY MOTHER!
My Mother the Car is an American fantasy sitcom which aired for a single season on NBC between September 14, 1965, and April 5, 1966. A total of 30 episodes were produced by United Artists Television.
Critics and adult viewers generally panned the show, often savagely. In 2002, TV Guide proclaimed it to be the second-worst of all time, behind The Jerry Springer Show.
…
The show follows the exploits of attorney David Crabtree (played by Jerry Van Dyke), who, while shopping at a used car lot for a station wagon to serve as a second family car, instead purchases a dilapidated 1928 Porter touring car. Crabtree hears the car call his name in a woman’s voice. The car turns out to be the reincarnation of his deceased mother, Gladys (voiced by Ann Sothern). She talks (only to Crabtree) through the car’s radio: the dial light flashes in synchronization with “Mother’s” voice. In an effort to get his family to accept the old, tired car, Crabtree brings it to a custom body shop for a full restoration. The car is coveted by a fanatical collector named Captain Manzini (Avery Schreiber), but Crabtree purchases and restores the car before Manzini can acquire it.
Authorities in China are searching for a man who was seen on a South China beach walking away with a dolphin draped over his shoulder on Tuesday, video footage shows.
A tourist who allegedly caught a dolphin and took it away from Hailing Island in Yangjiang, Guangdong Province, on May 1 will face punishment, Legal Evening News reported.
The beach is located on Hailing Island, a popular tourist destination off the coast of China’s Guangdong province, 150 miles south of Hong Kong.
A local marine patrol, cited by the British paper The Sun, said witnesses saw the man walk up to the dolphin after it beached itself. But rather than push it back into the water, the man left with the animal, the official said.
Sex? Food? Sex, then food? Food, then sex? Is he going to stick the dolphin in the tailpipe of a car? Is the dolphin going to get the Nobel Prize for Literature?
When I was in high school, I felt completely undateable. Everyone around me seemed to be pairing off, falling in love, and racking up sexual milestones while I was still, as the song says, “sweet 16 and never been kissed.” And I felt awful about it. I fumed with anger over the unfairness of it all, writing shitty poetry deriding other girls for being the recipients of the attention and affection I felt sure I deserved.
So when I read 22-year-old Elliot Rodger’s extensive manifesto about his own dating woes 15 years after I’d graduated high school, I felt a flicker of recognition. I, too, knew what it was like to feel an extreme sense of loneliness and self-loathing curdle into rage, to feel like you were being unjustly denied access to the romance, sex, and companionship you so obviously were entitled to.
Yet it’s unlikely that Rodger would have ever seen me as a kindred spirit. For Rodger, whose treatise went viral after he went on a killing spree in Isla Vista, California, in the spring of 2014, women like me couldn’t possibly understand his pain. To the contrary, we were the source of it. “The ultimate evil behind sexuality is the human female,” Rodger’s manifesto declares towards the end. “They are the main instigators of sex. They control which men get it and which men don’t”—and, in Rodger’s view, never have to deal with the pain of denial themselves.
Central conceit of the story: Women don’t blame men for finding them unattractive like those darn incels do.
Basic summary of comments: Women blaming men for finding them unattractive just like those darn incels do.
Social media stardom is a brutal Darwinistic competition, a craven and utterly shameless battle for space on our screens and in our brains carried out by a phalanx of influencers, thinkfluencers, beauty vloggers, charlatans, health quacks, spiritual phonies, and unhinged vegans. Recently, Lil Tay entered into this fray. Tay is—as far as we know—a 9-year-old girl, an ostensible recording artist, the self-described “youngest flexer in the game,” a possessor of some truly above-grade-level curse words, and the cause of my near-breakdown as I’ve tried to determine just who the hell put her up to this.
In the past few weeks, I embarked on a soul-pulverizing journey through Lil Tay’s social media channels, where I became convinced that she’s being put in front of the camera and in potentially dangerous situations by people who aren’t looking out for her best interests. After watching some of those videos, agape, several times, I set out to determine who exactly was shaping Lil Tay’s online persona and driving her dubious form of stardom, and, in the process, maybe learn something about the nature of social media fame. I also just desperately wanted to know where her fucking parents are.
…
Lil Tay has claimed that she was “poor AF,” three years ago, when she was 6, writing in one Instagram caption, “USE BE LIVIN IN THE HOOD IN ATLANTA BROKE ASF 3 YEARS AGO AND IM GONNA TELL YALL RIGHT NOW YOU YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH YOUR DREAMS IF YOU WORK HARD!” In another video, she smokes a breadstick [emp mine] and tells her viewers that she’s “richer than all y’all brokeass haters” and has five houses.
“I’m a nine year old millionaire and I be smokin’ dope,” she concludes.
I know we love to make fun of Anna Merlan, but this is actually a very interesting piece about a deeply weird artifact barfed up by the Internet.
Video shows man on South China beach walking off with dolphin
TRIGGER WARNING: GAWKER