Glibertarians.com 2018 Archive

Author: Not Adahn

  • I Fucking Love Astrology: The Horoscope for the week of October 28

    A busy week for scorpios.

    This week’s alignments:  Sol-Mercury-Saturn.  Something bad is ending, or at least we will find out about it this week.  Anything bad in particular?  Hard to say.  There are indicatiors that it refers to a venereal disease or genital dysfunction (Venus retrogade in Scorpio) though this could also indicate some gossipy person catches a sudden case of STFU.  The stronger indicator (Saturn) indicates the trouble ceasing has something to do with… sea-goats.  Does that mean anything to you?  If sea-cows are manatees, does that make sea goats narwhals?  Walruses?

    This week, Derpetologist and Mustang are going to get laid.  Or possibly divorced.  There’s a crapton of ambivalence in the skies this week.  We’ve got Sol-Terra-Venus(retrograde) with Mars in opposition.  Which means home/love with both benevolent and malign influences and martial aspects either resisting or the root cause of them.  Very two faced.

    Speaking of two-faced, Gemini gets a visit from the moon, which is the classic sign of betrayal.  If the moon were waxing, you could see it as an expansion of your circle of friends, but the moon is waning, so back-stabbery it is.

    This week,scorpio is having a party and everyone is invited. They’ve got the sun (that’s good!) Venus(retrograde) (that’s bad!) Jupiter (that’s good!) and Mercury (that’s… disruptive but indeterminate)

  • I Fucking Love Astrology: The Horoscope for the Week of October 21 (Take Two)

    This week I had family staying with me, so I had to work on the horoscope in fits and starts, all the while making sure that the SIL didn’t see what I was doing.  She’s the kind of person that believes everything that’s on the news, so she has completely internalized every moral panic since the early 1980s; she strongly disapproves of the occult alternative recreational epistemology.  She only lets the kids have graph paper to do homework in order to prevent them from playing D&D.  She does make a truly excellent pie crust though, and that matters a lot.

    Anyway I had some really interesting stuff in the charts: fire, war, fire, cataclysm, death, destruction, fire and victory.  But as I was typing up the results, one of my fire indicators was Sol in Leo, which cannot happen in October.  It turns out I had laid out everything for August 8, 1945.

    Anyway, this week’s skies are much less dramatic.  Venus is still retrograde, but there’s only some BARCO alignments to spread her baleful influence.  The first being Terra-Venus(retrograde)-Mercury-Jupiter.  This means that news of your venereal sins will reach people important to you.  Maybe put those sins off for a week.  The other BARCO alignment is Terra-Mars-Luna.  This often heralds military deployments, but I understand that Obama ended all wars, so it’s more likely that the alternative reading of “Military Success” is more likely*.

    What with all this warlike stuff, it’s worth noting that Mars is still hanging out in Aquarius, where it is conjunction with the moon.  It’s an auspicious time for any naval glibs.  Scorpio’s dry spell continues with additional warnings not to try and break it in an illegal fashion.  See alignment 1 supra.  Libra is hanging around with the Sun.  And FINALLY Saturn(retrograde) in Capricorn is over!!! It’s now Saturn(direct) in Capricorn.  I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see the sign of famine before.  Actually, since the returning to direct motion is such a positive thing, this particular instance of it probably has more to do with success in weight loss than in Live Aid.

    Good luck in the coming week.  If you need me, I’ll be vacuuming up dog hair.

    *These are the best indicators since it doesn’t tell you for whom the success will be.  You can read Terra as indicating “us” or it can represent the country being invaded.  If I were reading this in Poland, I’d be more constrained.

  • I Fucking Love Astrology: The Horoscope for the week of October 14

    This week is a little annoying.  You try to read the stars, but the stars mainly care about BIG IMPORTANT PEOPLE, and that’s… not the Glibertariat.

    For example, there is a giant blinking “ruler’s spouse gets caught in extra-marital sodomy,” but since none of you are ruling so much as Andorra, I can’t really tie it into my target audience.

    So let’s see what we can find:

    Earth-Venus(retrograde)-Mercury-Luna.  We’ve got home, double-change, and bad love life.  One of the change signs (Mercury) also appears in the alignment:

    Jupiter-Mercury-Sol.  Jupiter can be read as government/rulership/legitimacy/order/status quo or as a more general happiness/good spirits sign.  The Sun is life/growth/general goodness and of course, we have Mercury, the messenger of the gods bringing news/tidings, and it is also the most powerful change sign in the heavens.

    If you smoosh these all together and force it into a political context, you get “The growth of government (government program) leads to your home life going to crap.”  But how?  You could look at the sign you haven’t given a place in your interpretation yet (the moon).  The moon is associated with change, femininity, the tides, water, and emotion.  So this gives us the possibility that you read something and go on an anti-government tirade, pissing off your S.O. who makes you sleep on the couch.  Or maybe that a new regulation shuts down your charter fishing company, resulting in a decrease of income.  However, this last bit is contraindicated by the fact that the moon in a waxing crescent, indicating growth, not loss of income.  But the moon is in Sagittarius (the archer) which could indicate that your squeeze dumps you for the newly hired game warden hottie that they met.

    But none of these interpretations are right, because forcing your reading into any particular context is a guarantee of getting it wrong.  The Universe hates a wiseacre.

    So what it the correct interpretation?  Fuck if I know.  I’ve been up all night this week getting my house in order for the arrival of family members totaling one glib, four adults, three children and a particularly large Great Pyrenees/St. Bernard cross that refuses to accept her place at the bottom of the social hierarchy.

    Moving on.

    Libra loses some of their good luck this week, but keeps their general well-being enhancement from their sign being the FOTM.  Their loss is everyone else’s gain, and Mercury moves out of Libra ind int a sign where it feels more comfortable.

    That sign being Scorpio.  Unfortunately, this is just bringing it into conjunction with Venus(retrograde) and Jupiter.  Q is really lucky his birthday was last week, because this is not a good week for the nookie.  However, you will NOT be contracting a venereal disease this week, so silver lining.

    Saturn in Capricorn and Mars in Aquarius continue to bore everyone.

    As mentioned above, the waxing moon is moving into Sagittarius.  Good omens for hunting.  Just don’t expect wonders in the sleeping bag afterwards.

  • I Fucking Love Astrology: The Horoscope for the Week of October 7

     

    So, there’s a good news/bad new thing going on in the sky.  It’s a situation when the signs are saying different things, so you have to know which sign applies to whom.  There is some really bad news going on in Scorpio but there is some stellar protection against it.

    That protection comes from a couple of alignments.  Most importantly, we are aligned with Venus and Jupiter.  So this means you’ll be able to keep your house in order, and your domestic bliss won’t be any more troubled than whatever your default situations is.  The other also has to do with Jupiter, this time in alignment with the Sun and Mercury.  So again, lots of positive for domesticity, and good news for rulers.

    Nothing but good news (literally, Mercury is acting as the messenger here with the Sun) for Librans.  However, Libra is a bit selfish, and keeping all that good news contained for itself.

    The moon is in Virgo, so expect emotional instability

    So Scorpio is the sign that rules the fun bits.  And in Scorpio this week is Venus, the planet of love and sexuality.  Good combo, right?  Wrong.  Because Venus has gone retrograde.  Now the rest of us are shielded by that pulse of anti-sex force, but those of you who are actually born into Scorpio are going to catch the full force of it, resulting in a dry spell that should last until… nearly November without other intervention.

     

  • I Fucking Love Astrology: The Horoscope for the Week of September 30

    First, Holy Fuck!  Where did the month go!  I still have books to unpack!  I have family coming over to criticize and break visit the new place in just a couple of weeks!

    Second, I took my employer’s “Implicit Bias” training and lemme tell you, what a bunch of pseudoscientific garbage.  They started off “I know there are a lot of really technical people here, so let’s start with the science.  Each moment, your senses are bombarded by 11,000,000 bits of information, but your conscious mind can only process 40.”  I was tempted to say “A moment isn’t actually a unit of time, humans are analog so I’m not sure that “bits” is the correct way to express sensory information, and if you think you can represent what is currently in my field of vision with only 40 bits then you’re giving up a hojillion dollars by not selling your compression algorithm.”  But I did not say these things, because I like my job.  I just don’t react well to junk science.  So let’s talk about real science — Astrology!

    This week is all about infidelity.  The core of this is the classic illicit love alignment of alignment of Sol-Mars-Venus.  But will this happen for you or to you?  There is a second-harmonic cross-alignment of Terra-Venus-Jupiter indicating that it is more likely to happen to a cousin of yours, rather than to you, but that you won’t be happy about it.  This is reinforced by a tertiary alignment Saturn-Terra-Luna (all bad luck signs) that is in opposition to the root alignment (which would make it something like… quaternary submediant to the crossalignment? I’d have to figure out where my protractor and which box of books contains my celestial tables to make sure).  Anyway, someone’s getting screwed, and you won’t like it.  I know it should have been mentioned last week, but there will be (will have been by the time this is published) a major divorce on September 28, when the moon drops into a four-light alignment with that previously mentioned alignment of Jupiter-Venus-Earth.

    That yummy combo of Sol-Mercury?  It’s moved into Libra.  Enjoy your good fortune to all the librarians out there!  For the rest of us, the combo of strengthened balance coupled with change will make things unsettled.  It gets even worse with the moon in Gemini increasing indecision and ambivalence and possibly dilemmas as well.  The short, short version:  of you were born in Libra, you’ll have a great week.  Everyone else will have a lot of anxiety.  Possibly wondering about who is cheating on whom.

    Everything else is the same as last week, so if you could handle that, you can handle what’s coming.

  • I Fucking Love Astrology: The Horoscope for the week of September 23

    I’ve been a scientist since joining the undergraduate research teams (think grad students for grad students) but it’s only in the last decade or so that I’ve noticed other people seeming to notice.  Sure, it’s one thing being invited to speak at conferences, or being on the board to select SEMI standards, but you know how you really have made it in the industry?  Junk mail.  Although I don’t get junk mail actually related to my official, professional endeavors, I get them in reference to more, shall we say, recreational scientific pursuits:

    Mad Scientists get THE BEST junk mail

    And sometimes these are actually helpful

    Maybe it shouldn’t be, but obtaining the right clone IS a hassle.

    But you don’t care about that.  So, on to the horoscope!

    Not a whole lot of good news up there, at least not of the “wholesome” variety.  The BARCO Sol-Venus-Mars that is crossed with Terra-Venus-Jupiter indicates success in conducting extramarital affairs, but with one major caveat — don’t do it on/near water.   If you attempt unsanctioned nookie on a boat, you will get caught.

    This pass through the year is especially good for Virgos, so enjoy it while it lasts — Mercury never hangs out in a sign for too long (unless it goes retrograde).

    Aquarius, in addition to it’s seemingly unending strife from Mars, gets an extra instability whammy from the Moon.  I hope that Rufus has some antibiotic ointment handy, those little bastards can bite.

    For those of you in a formalized relationship, things are still good with Venus and Jupiter doing their thing in Scorpio.  It won’t last, so make whoopie while you can.

    The grim reaper is still riding a goat.

    This is what Saturn in Capricorn looks like

  • I Fucking Love Astrology: The Horoscope for the Week of September 16

    Like so many other fields of science, astrology has tradeoffs; by increasing the certainty of the conclusions you reduce the details known.  There has not yet been a heavenly Heisenberg to calculate the astrological h-bar, as far too many astrologers are really bad at math.  But it probably exists.  We can see the phenomenon this week in the skies.  There is an alignment where Venus and Mercury are in tension with the Sun, so we know that this week you will be forced to make a choice between your love life and… something.  That may sound bad, but it’s not really, because there won’t be any diminution of the one you don’t choose, it’s just that it won’t be increased.

    I’ve managed to unpack my protractor and compass, so I was able to do a little bit of more precise forecasting, and that above alignment is going to snap into opposition with Jupiter on Monday.  On that day, a romantic relationship is going to take a hit from an authority figure.  That young hottie might turn out to be a bit too young, or you will suddenly discover the existence of an ex- (or maybe even current!) spouse that you didn’t know about.  Or it could be that a bench warrant results in you and your partner being on opposite sides of reinforced glass.  Like I said, the details are unclear.

    The moon in Sagittarius brings inaccuracy in shooting.  Coupled with crappy fishing until Nov 23rd, it’s not looking good for non-market sources of meat.

    Virgo is doing particularly well this week, grabbing Mercury along with the sun.  Expect good news, and if you have a career advancement opportunity take it.

    Venus and Jupiter in Scorpio brings domestic harmony, and hotties throwing themselves at powerful individuals.

    Now some music, just because.

  • It’s WHAT day already? The Horoscope for the week of September 9th

    Not like Suthern though, obviously. To afford that kind of woodland up here would require a couple of order of magnitude more scratch than I have.
    Trees. I has them.

    I seemed to have lost a few days.  I’m assuming that sweating out my own body weight twice daily by moving house in 95 degree weather with humidity imported from the Gulf Coast then crashing on the floor because you can’t make the effort to unpack the bed and waking up at dawn because of your glorious new 5′ x 5’9″ windows that don’t have blinds yet and repeating the day over again might have something to do with that.  On the other hand, when the dew point gets over 85, it does provide a really nice demonstration of the efficacy of modern multi-paned windows as the condensation only was on the outside of the outer pane.

    Digital cameras seem to have trouble with blue. The actual color is darker.
    The floor upon which I slept. On the wall to the left, I’ve put a 3’x 4′ mirror to make it even more sunlighty
    It's a maple.
    Mirror is on that space on the left. Also, Tree.

    But seriously though, fuck this weather.  I expected this bullshit when I lived in Houston but I thought the exorbitant real estate prices were supposed to be offset by having better weather.

    You may wonder why I wasn’t prepared for this weather, what with my ability to read the stars and all.  The answer is simple: celestial objects have no bearing on the weather.  If you don’t believe me, just ask the IPCC.  The rest of my predictions from last week’s reading came true, with the exception of the pest control thing.

    For this week, there are some interesting things, generally positive.  There is a really complicated construction based around the Earth-Venus-Jupiter alignment that has solidified from last week.  This backbone is a really good thing, but we have two oppositional axes forming against it.  The first is Mercury in opposition through Venus.  So we’ve got disruptive events having to do with your love life.  If your SO is suddenly increasing the amount and variety of the snu-snu they’re giving you, it’s because they’re compensating for having taken on a side-piece.  Sorry about that.  Or enjoy it while it lasts.  You do you.  The other oppositional axis is drawn between the new moon and Mars.  This is the kind of thing that results in Dear John letters and/or your newborn resembling a serviceman who was NOT out on deployment at the same time you were.

    The sun is in Virgo.  This has splashover results for the rest of us in focus and resistance to peer pressure.  But for us non-virgins, that effect is negated this week as we have two change-lights (Mercury and the Moon) conjoined in that sign.  If Virgo is your birth sign however, you will have particular success in overcoming disruptions.

    I really need to learn how to take care of Maple trees.
    The sun is also in my east-facing breakfast nook. Also, another maple.

    Venus remains in Virgo for another week, so if you are benefiting/suffering from guilt-induced turbosex, your relationship will hold together, at least for this week.

    I have such fond memories of kitchen counters, I"ll need to break these in.
    Home cookin’

    We (still) have the conjunction of Mars and Saturn in Capricorn.  Wars destroy resources.  In other news, water is wet.  And Jupiter is still in Scorpio, but because of that Venus alignment, we should expect the beneficent aspects of that sign: good sex, particularly good sex in the context of formal/official relationships (due to the rulership/governmental aspect of Jupiter).

    All glibs are welcome to stay at my new home!  Just fill out the visitation application (including the non-refundable application fee) and once we’ve run the credit check and settled on the damage insurance and liability waivers, I’ll see about scheduling your visit.

  • I’m a little Preocupied: The Horoscope for the Week of September 2

     

    Goodbye Leo, it was fun, but now it’s Virgo’s time to shine.

    There’s a BARCO alignment of the Earth with Venus and Jupiter.  These are really great planets to be aligned with, what with peace, love, joviality, strength, power, majesty and whatnot, but the alignment is of really poor quality.  So the vector direction is great, the magnitude is crap.  There will be a nudge towards everything working out, but don’t expect it to overcome any significant obstacles.

    Even though Leo no longer has the Sun, there is still Mercury spinning around up there, indicating great change coming.  I wonder how the stars knew I’m supposed to close this week?

    Venus spends her last week in Libra, enjoy the peace while you can.  I can only hope that this means the the closing and subsequent moving will go smoothly.

    Mars in Capricorn.  See, this is exactly what you don’t want to see when you’re moving.  Stubbornness and violence?  The movers are going to be dicks?  My shit’s going to get broken?

    Jupiter in Scorpio.  This influence has been pretty solid for weeks now, so independently it just means status quo.  When combined with the current alignment, it indicates successful endeavors in pest control.  Surely I don’t need to worry about exterminators yet?

    Saturn (retrograde) in Capricorn.  Now this one is tricky.  It indicates a loss of money, which is pretty much going to be happening if the wire transfer for my closing costs actually goes through (how the fuck do you put a typo in your own goddamn routing number, bank who shall remain nameless?  The next transfer time is all of three hours before my closing time, so surely that’s nothing to worry about).  But Saturn also goes station direct on Wednesday (the day I’m moving) so inasmuch as Saturn can ever be a good sign, this is it.  It is a great day for making endings, so “see you later” rental unit!

    And lastly, the moon is in Taurus.  So we’ve got change matched with strength and patience.  Be strong, be flexible, things will work out.  It often seems like astrologers speak in clichéd platitudes.  But you need to remember, the stars spoke first, and the platitude makers ripped them off.

     

     

  • I Fucking Love Astrology: The Horoscope for the Week of August 26

    Pretty good week, just like the stars said.  Lots of work to do, lots of work got done.  Except some mirrors I ordered on the 11th which broke during shipment on the 13th, re-ordered on the 15th… still aren’t here.  Today they gave me some UPS tracking numbers which don’t actually correspond to anything.

    Anyway, what’s up? (Get it?)

    Bupkis.

    MERCURY RETROGRADE is over.  No alignments.

    But… things are starting to shift back to more harmonious conditions.  In addition to Mercury having gone station direct, Mars has done so as well.  The early part of a transition is especially auspicious so with Mars being in Capricorn, those of you who are competitive will not only win, but win money in your competitions.  If you’ve been putting off a haircut, this is now a good time to get one.  I’ll probably get one on Sunday.  Venus in Libra brings success in juggling both your primary partner and your side piece(s).  Leo gets good news, the weather will be hot.  Good yields from gardening (Capricorn has that Mars transition mentioned before, but it’s conjoined with Saturn (retrograde) so “bounty unending.”  Low probability of stings when you’re working in the garden, thanks to Jupiter controlling Scorpio.

    There is a major water-influence going on with the Moon in Aquarius.  Expect something big happening with the ocean.  Good surfing?  Floods?  Hard to say.

    Remember: quiet stars mean happy people.

    Apropos of absolutely nothing, unless you want to talk about those covers which are better than the original, and maybe get OMWC to tell the story about how he once had a Four-way with the Andrews Sisters: