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  • The Hyperbole’s Homebuilding Hootenanny Part III

    Previously on H3

    Part 1: Introduction, Caveat, and Stakeout

    Part B: Permits and Foundations

    D’oh!

    Pizza D’oh
    What with all the excitement about lasers and my eagerness to bitch about the permitting process, I forgot a few things, so bear with me as I backtrack a bit. We used to pour the footers as soon as they were dug and/or formed, we would often call for the “mud” before they were completely ready because it could take up to two hours for the truck to get to the site. We would have the rebar delivered on the truck and place it as we poured. Now we have to have our footers ‘inspected’ before we can pour, we can’t call for the concrete until the inspector shows up and we have to have the rebar in place ahead of time, meaning we have to make a trip to the concrete plant and bring the rebar down ourselves and then sit idle for a few hours waiting on both the inspector and the truck. Those are minor annoyances; the real problems arise when the inspector can’t get to the site in time to get the pour in. Nothing is as frustrating as being ready to go, not being allowed to and then after a nice overnight rain getting to pull out rebar, scrape out mud, dig out cave-ins and get all set again only to wait for the inspector once more. Worse yet (worst if you’re Rufus) 9 times out of 10 the inspector walks up to the edge of the hole, looks around and says “looks good, see ya next time.” Now with cell phone cameras ever present, some inspectors will allow you to take photos of the footer those times that they can’t get there in a timely fashion, but it’s up to them if they want to be a pain in the ass about it they can.

    There is also a new inspection of the block walls as well. In the early days the masons would lay the block, back plaster up to the finish grade line, put in anchor bolts and if we determine it necessary, add rebar and fill cores to strengthen the wall. We would have the back plaster sprayed with tar and place sill seal and a treated 2×8 plate over the anchor bolts, tighten them down and we were ready for the framing crew. Now before we put the treated plate on we have to be inspected, the top course of block now has to be solid and every 6 to 8 cores rebar-ed and filled. The tarred back plaster is no longer good enough, now we need to have a rubbery membrane applied with a thin layer of foam stuck to that. It may be argued that these changes do in fact add value to the home, you get a stronger wall and better waterproofing. These things are true but ignore the costs, you can always build a stronger foundation, you could fill every core or use 12-inch instead of 8-inch block, you could pour a three-foot-thick solid foundation. Somewhere in that continuum, the cost of extra strength outweighs the benefit. Instead of dictating a minimum standard, which for all intents and purposes becomes ‘The Standard’, perhaps we should allow homeowners and builders to make that determination.

    Stumps

    You can use it for calzones as well
    I also forgot about clearing the lot, due to the coincidence that the first house we built and the latest one are both on treeless lots. This is very rare for the development we build in; in fact, I believe these are the only two homes we’ve built that we didn’t have to take down at least a few trees and I’d estimate three-quarters of the time the lots were completely wooded. In the early days, we would sell any trees worth harvesting for lumber to an Amish chap with a name so Amish-ish you’ll think I’m making it up. Eli Yoder would show up with a half dozen other straw enhattened fellows and piously chainsaw away for a few hours, then they haul off the logs they want and leave the rest in eight foot or so lengths, along with a large pile of branches and tops. We would then position the unwanted logs by the road and within a day they’d be gone as locals would stop and ask if they could have them for firewood, we would pop out the stumps and with the brush have a nice big fire, any stumps too big to burn we could take to the ‘stump farm’ a field outside the development owned by the HOA.

    Nowadays we still sell any trees Eli wants but we no longer are allowed to burn the brush, which as the development filled in makes some sense, however, it’s another one size fits all solution. It is a large development and there are still plenty of lots with no nearby homes, but no fires are allowed even if the nearest homes are hundreds of yards away. So we bring in the guys with the woodchipper, yes, yes, a true libertarian would have his own woodchipper, sigh. The state health department and EPA shut down the stump farm, seems stumps are a hazardous material once you dig them up, so the large stumps we must now have hauled off and disposed of in whatever approved method our tree guys use. I think that they are supposed to grind them up in one of those machines you see on youtube eating cars and couches and what have you. Again not a very big deal but you might have noticed a pattern by now, a little more cost here a little time wasted there, it’s like boiling a frog or a camel’s nose or some other animal related metaphor for slowly nickel and diming you to death.

    Rodan!!!, what’s that …Radon?.. well that’s disappointing.

    Lastly, before we start framing we need to get any underground plumbing placed and the basement floor poured. Not much has changed here, dig some trenches and a hole or two for grinder and sump pump pits, lay some Sch 40 PVC drain lines, have some Mexicans (some I assume are good people) do the work Americans won’t, and bingo bango Bob’s your uncle. Somewhere along the line we were required to add a vent for radon, a 4″ pvc pipe from the gravel base under the slab up through the roof. As far as I know, there have been no cases of radon poisoning or tests showing an unhealthy level of radon in the area, but vent it we must. It’s only a couple lengths of PVC and a tiny amount of labor, just one more drop in the ‘it’s not a big deal, whats the harm?’ bucket.

    2″ SCH 40 PVC makes a nice rolling pin

    Framing

    Okay now that we are back on schedule I’ll endeavor to keeps us on target, hopefully, my aim is true. Speaking of aim I used to be able to drive nails with the best of ’em. I could sink 16d spikes all day long, tap-sink tap-sink, or set a 6d finish nail just below the surface without a nail set and without leaving any pecker tracks. I don’t mention this to brag but to lament that I can no longer do so, I’m out of practice thanks to nail guns. In Part B when I mentioned that lasers were the biggest advancement in the trade I was surprised no one brought up nail guns in the comments. There is a good argument to be made for nail guns; for me, lasers edge them out, but just barely. My father bought our first nail gun back when we were framing that first house, but for various reasons, it took us a while to adapt. It jammed a lot, and dragging around our undersized and noisy compressor that wouldn’t always kick on in the cold was a pain, the hoses get tangled and trip you up. Within ten years or so we had fully integrated them, I must have a dozen nail guns now – framing, finish, pinners, staplers, roofing, one just for installing joist hangers and one just for hardwood floor installation. The sound of compressors running on the job site during framing is now as ubiquitous as Mötley Crüe blasting out of a battered and beaten Dewalt radio that fades in and out when it gets over 90° and you better not change the station because the tuner’s fucked and it took Randy twenty minutes to dial in WRKZ 99.7 THE BLITZ!!!

    For the most part, the actual framing hasn’t changed all that much, 2×6 exterior walls have become the norm, and only the cheapest builders still use fiberboard or foam panels for wall sheathing. For a few years, the manufactured “I” joists replaced 2x10s, but they burn up quickly in a house fire so you are required to fireproof them which has made most builders return to 2×10 joist. LVL’s have replaced steel beams and structural screws have replaced nuts and bolts. Cranes, booms, and lifts have also become common, previously they were mostly considered commercial equipment and not often used residentially. We used to ‘swing’ trusses into place, and hump materials around the job site using manpower alone. Extension ladders and jacks and planks were constantly being set up and tore down to install second story windows and gable end sheathing. Now machinery does all the heavy lifting, it’s faster, easier, and most importantly, much, much safer- I don’t have any statistics but falling off roofs, planks and ladders has got to be the most common cause of job site injury. Certainly, there are extra cost involved but that cost is easily offset by the benefits, and it is a decision builders make, you aren’t forced to make these changes or use these tools, and yet most builders have. Take that, central planning tyrants.

    There are two code related changes to our framing that I can think of. We are now required to use ‘hurricane straps’ to attach the rafters/trusses to the top plate of the walls. This fits right in with the running theme – small additional cost, doesn’t take long, adds strength that may not be necessary, should be left up to the homeowner and builder. We also now frame 2×4 walls around the perimeter of the basement, whether it is going to be finished or not, because we have to insulate the basements. Depending on the size of the house the framing and insulation can add a good bit to the cost, again might be a good idea, should be an option, not a requirement.

    That’s it for Part III, in Part the Fourth we will look at the rough in plumbing and electric, and HVAC (none of those letters stand for anything) and I’ll regale you with the curious tale of how the exterior color guidelines went from earth tones only to ‘sure you can have white trim, just this once’.

    ♫Three out of four ain’t bad♫

    Obvious song choice is obvious.

  • Thursday Morning History Links

    [et_pb_section bb_built=”1″][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text admin_label=”Intro & links” _builder_version=”3.2.1″]

    May 10th is a tough day in history for some (((people))).

    But other stuff happened on May 10th, too.

    Victoria Woodhull
    • 1865: Jefferson Davis was captured by Union troops.
    • 1869: The Golden Spike was driven in, uniting the country by rail; at least that’s what the government wants you to believe.
    • 1872: Victoria Woodhull becomes the first woman nominated for President of the United States.
    • 1899: Fred Astaire made an appearance in Omaha.
    • 1908: The first Mother’s Day service was held. (PSA: This Sunday is Mother’s Day, Glibs.)
    • 1924: J Edgar Hoover appointed as Director of the FBI.
    • 1940: Actual Nazis attacked Netherlands, Belgium & Luxembourg; TW: website possibly from 1998.
    • 1957: Sid Vicious was born.
    • 1970: Bobby Orr scores an overtime goal to enable the Boston Bruins to take home the Stanley Cup.
    • 2002: Angels post a 19-0 shutout victory over Chicago White Sox.
    • 2018: President Trump and Veep Pence say welcome home.
    • 2018: China warns citizens… about gingers.
    • 2018: Oil prices continue their journey upward.
    • 2018: Just another night in Chicago. (We can’t wait to get out of here.)
    • 2018: China Tech Trumped
    • 2018: Expect price increases for peaches among other canned goods.

    Have a great day, Glibsters!

    [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_divider _builder_version=”3.2.1″ color=”rgba(0,89,145,0.59)” divider_style=”dashed” divider_weight=”2″ /][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type=”2_3″][et_pb_video admin_label=”Willy Porter – Moonbeam” _builder_version=”3.2.1″ src=”https://youtu.be/7-80fn6OB3Q?t=1m41s” module_alignment=”left” /][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″][et_pb_text admin_label=”Music intro” _builder_version=”3.2.1″ custom_padding=”|||30px” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|”]

    Today’s music is from one of our favorite world-class musicians who happens to live in Milwaukee, Willy Porter. We typically see Willy in tiny venues with 50 people in the audience, often from seats about 5 feet away from him. So much fun up close and personal. (And, he’s a total sweetie, on top of it.)

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  • I got it… I got it…. I ain’t got it Wednesday Afternoon Links

    “Wait, isn’t Brett supposed to do afternoon links?”

    “Yeah, where is he?”

    “Did he say he was busy?”

    “I think he’s in his wack-off room.”

    “Shit, guess I’d better do some links, and fast, before the villagers get their pitchforks.”

    Florida Woman, she never fails me.

    It’s the Jews. it’s always the Jews.

    Every once in a while, someone says, “Fuck you!” instead of groveling. I approve.

    Wait, didn’t we go through this a few months ago? Oh, never mind, it’s fundraising season again.

    Team Blue, please never, never change.

    “Well, we’ve been entirely unable to demonstrate health hazards from second hand smoke? What are we going to do now?” “Hold my beer.”

    Instead of Old Guy Music, because it’s that time of year, something with a baseball theme. Earl Weaver was the greatest manager in the history of the game and certainly the most fun. He had a weekly radio show in Baltimore called “Manager’s Corner,” and one episode of it went a bit differently than usual…

  • On Welfare State, compassion aside

    There was a fine post on this fair blog about compassion, pity and the welfare state. I though I would add my 2 grams of silver and share a few thoughts.

    Outside a narrow circle of non-bleeding heart libertarians or, as I like to call them, actual libertarians, there is about zero support of completely removing welfare. The people on the left generally want more of it, and the people on the right just want somewhat less of it and “more efficiency”. Neither of these options will work in the long term, in the opinion of this heartless libertarian who just hates the damn children.

    The Universal Basic Income is, for example, one of the more prominent recent attempts to fix welfare, one that even some libertarians support. The idea is no welfare is not an option, so let’s have the best system. Sadly, I do not believe a best system, even if it existed in theory, can exist in practice. Why? This is what I will try to cover.

    They just want what is best for you, really...
    Kind, compassionate people

    The essence of the question is found in the essence of government. Government is at its core a concentration of power. This, naturally, now and always, attracts people who want power. So in the end, the ultimate goal for many at the top of government will be to get and retain power. Sure, they may have other ideas about society and maybe even be honest about wanting to improve it (at the point of a gun if necessary) and thinking they have the capability to do so (ignoring a few broken eggs here and there). But this is always secondary, at least for the ones who get to the top.

    In my view, in a struggle between those who want power to use it for, let’s say for lack of a better word, “good” and those who want power for the sake of power, the latter will come on top. What has this got to do with welfare? Well, any government activity will be inevitably used as a tool to get power, and will not be shaped to maximize results but to keep people in power. Welfare is no different. You will never get the welfare that is most efficient and helps the poor; you will get the one that helps politicians.

    Now, there are moments when feelings get the best of reason, and I think it would be acceptable to have a limited welfare system for the truly needy. This is a view of many right wing people I know. This will not work because there is not choice between limited welfare just for truly needy and a massive and much abused inefficient system. The choice is between no welfare and a massive and abused inefficient system. A limited system will never stay limited because, in essence, any program that allows politicians to transfer money from one person to another will be used to buy votes. More and more needy will be found. More and more people will receive something. And the limited help will be declared insufficient.

    Honesty is the best policy... exept in politics
    Telling it how it is

    It was always strange to me how people who support a social democracy scream about the evils of campaign money as “buying votes” while their political platform is literally buying votes. If someone gets money from the government, when a politician says, “I will increase these payment,” that someone will, quite literally, hear vote for me and I give you money. A welfare state is practically a license for a politician to buy power with other people’s money. And if I am wrong, I would love to hear a reasonable, logical argument as to how I am wrong.

    But there is a second layer. The large amounts of people not on welfare but who emotionally support the programs, either out of a misguided view on compassion or basic signaling of their moral high ground. So this is another group who will be convinced to give their votes because welfare is insufficient. I have seen multiple articles in the press where such people tried to live on welfare money to prove it can’t be done, and the conclusion was it can but it is not easy. So even when there is a level of welfare that many view as quite enough, others want more of it.

    One should keep in mind that the cost of welfare is not just the money that ends up at welfare recipients. Welfare also keep politicians in power, which means lots of money spent on various graft, not directly related to the welfare, but related to the politicians. Another point is that there will be an ever-growing bureaucracy dedicated to administering welfare, which may end up costing more than the welfare itself. There is also the cost associated with people who may be able to do something productive and do not, both due to incentives of welfare and to the economy in general, which is affected by the taxes needed to fund all the above costs.

    On the other side of the spectrum, other politicians will use it as a tool for their base, talking about scroungers and welfare frauds. But this will basically lead to another layer of division between people which is exactly what the politicians want. Divide et Impera is what keeps the big parties in power. There always need to be another side which is bad, and my side which is less so.

    The art of politics is basically to keep the people split on as many issues, so that they do not notice that no issue is handled properly. Must spread attention as thinly as possible to keep scrutiny off what the government actually does.

    Universal Basic Income will be no different. It will not stay for long as the only program, as different programs for different groups will be invented. It will constantly be under pressure to increase. And it will create an ultimate feeling of entitlement. You get money for breathing, basically.

    So to me the alternative is no welfare or a system which will inevitably become first and foremost a tool for power, with all other functions secondary. If no welfare is not an option,  I will accept a constant struggle will be on this and just stay out of it and leave it to others. I assume the system will oscillate, going too far then followed by a snap-back and then too far again. But to those who think welfare will be mostly about helping people as well as possible, I have a bridge to sell.

  • Wednesday Morning Links…sigh.

    No, I will not “meow” for you.

     

    *Sighs, takes long drag off a Gauloise* I suppose you will all be wanting links this morning. Or not. Does it really matter? *Taps ash, sips espresso* Oh, very well…not like I had anything meaningful to do otherwise.

    SPORTS

    If I could muster up the energy, I would be suspicious of the use of the short term DL by the Dodgers and the Cubs. But it is the National League…so who cares? In the sort of important league, allegedly a no hitter was thrown…but it was only against a Canadian team, so I am not sure it counts. More NBA was supposedly played, with some more to come. I am doubtful of this, but you may wish to pretend. I would say the same for hockey, but even thinking of it sends me to new lows. Which will probably happen to fans in a certain imperial capital city soon enough.

    BIRTHDAYS

    So we “celebrate” the beginning of the inevitable slide toward death of the following: John Brown (1800 – Harper’s Ferry anyone?) Henry Kaiser (1882 – adjust your monocles) Mike Wallace (1918 – TV liverspot) Candice Bergen (1946) Billy Joel (1949) Tony Gwynn (1960) and some younger acting types I care nothing to learn about…Rosario Dawson (1979) Chris Zylka (1985)

    Michael Caine says “Hi Candice”

     

    LINKS

    • Robert Conquest…his Second Law in action. [h/t OMWC who was suspiciously aware of the story, right away] This should help speed the demise of “Scouts BSA” – I wonder what the LDS equivalent will be? Or I would care if I were not so bored and world weary.
    • Indonesia – land of the peaceful and tolerant Islam? If I could muster up the energy to be dismayed, this would do it. Indonesia has much potential. To see it wasted on pointless strife with Islamists would darken an already bleak mood.
    • Maybe they just need John Kerry to address the Iranian Parliament, he could calm things down. His face is even longer than mine at this point. I am too weary to imagine what the world would think if the US Congress chanted “Death to Iran” and burned an Iranian flag while they were in session. Maybe C-Span would get more viewers? Not that it matters anyway.
    • Chicago Public Schools – they would make STEVE SMITH gag. Remember, your silly choice and charter schools and home schooling are somehow to blame. Oh, and CPS teachers deserve moar munny.
    • I found a job for our Glib “Q Continuum”…

    Enough…I cannot muster the energy for any more links…*wanders off*

  • Tuesday Afternoon Links

    Happy Tuesday afternoon, y’all. I am pretty darn tired already. I also missed a meeting today. Whoops. Two fucking calendars. I should probably get the other one on my phone. I’m not heart-broken. My littlest, two-and-a-half is home sick from school. He, my wife, and I went out for a walk. He was cute, except that he thought I was going to carry him another mile once he wanted to be “up”. Way better than meetings.

    Well, now we know where the weapons grade stupid has been coming from.

    Labor Force Participation rates are out. I took a deep-dive into the actual CBO report. Crazily, the leading non-participating demographic among the pre-Social Security group is women without HS diplomas. If only there were more dangerous jobs for women, right?

    I would not have guessed that Mitch McConnell was capable of developing a sense of humor. I wouldn’t have thought he had a bone in his body, but apparently he just lacks a spine.

    Great shooting there, Lou. Maryland deputy shoots jaywalking groundhog.

    Florida Woman and family killed dodging alligator in SC. No matter what Mr. Lizard threatens, the path of least resistance for your vehicle is usually the animal.*

    *May not apply to moose, bison, or persons of Walmart

    SF sent me this link to the continued adventures of female-created, “ethical” pornography. OTOH, I found this looking for a music video today. (Should be SFW)

     

  • Tuesday Morning Links of …Something.

    Links.

     

    Links, because you, the Glibertariat, deserve them. No theme to my post, however, because I got absolutely nothing today. I can at least throw a little entertainment toward all of you before links…

    SPORTS

    Allegedly some hockey series finished, and another one didn’t. I still find the whole thing make-believe….but, whatever. Basketball is supposedly grinding on, but I don’t believe that either. I do know baseball continues to occur, despite my strenuous objections – they need to skip this year and get to the next one, plz.

    BIRTHDAYS

    Wonderful Swiss guy Jean-Henri Dunant (1828 – Red Cross founder, YMCA co-founder) Harry Truman, meh (1884) ALL HAIL Friedrich Hayek! (1899) Nature film guy David Attenborough (1926) Don Rickles (1926, you hockey puck!) Peter Benchley (1940 – Jaws author. Hi OMWC!) Music peoples…Toni Tennille (1940) Gary Glitter (ouch, 1944) Alex Van Halen (1953) Enrique Iglesias (wait, not Julio?! 1975)

    LINKS

    • OK, this one is soooo schadenfreudelicious, I know it was batted around yesterday…but this a$$hat turning out to be what you just knew he was behind closed doors…is bringing a smile to my face. Politicians in my benighted state of Illinois are merely criminal, and simply go to prison. So what is it with these NY pols? “Client Number 9”, “Brown Slave Master”…. HA!
    • Good Luck, Armenians. Note buried in the story…”under economic blockade from Turkey”. Guess the Turks are mad they didn’t get to finish the job in 1918?
    • When can a sneeze cost you IQ points? OK, not really, but I had to try to come up with some sort of joke for this story. I expect all of you to come up with similarly bad ones, in the comments. (“So that is why Krugnuts is always waving around a hanky!”)
    • GASP! People were actually granted permission to have basements?!?!?! OUTRAGEOUS! The intrepid authors are on the case!!!

      The study concluded that the sharp rise in basement construction over the past decade is ’emblematic of the profound plutocratisation of London’.

      The authors, led by professor of cities Roger Burrows, added: ‘The global excesses of wealth, focused upon such a small fragment of the global population, now find spatial expression in many of the neighbourhoods of central London.

      ‘At a time when so many households face a crisis in their housing circumstances, the new subterranean geography of London is deeply symbolic of the realities of the intensification of global inequalities and their spatial expression.’

      All I can say is, F$%& off, Professor Slavers.

  • Monday Afternoon Links

    Its always fun to follow the Hat & Hair. When they write the political history of the 20-teens, I think that is going to get a ton of ink, or pixels, or whatever. Its just so compellingly grotesque and yet tender. Like a fawn mangled by a big dog. In local sports news, Boston Man will lick no one else in this year’s quest for Lord Stanley’s cup. Never try to out-crazy Florida Man.

    The University of Florida — a class university all the way around. They’re all Gators, so obviously, fuck everyone in this story.

    Nothing says innocent like Oliver North. I am sincerely puzzled by the NRA here, and will continue to not give them money, because they’ve always seemed dodgy when it came to people like me owning guns.

    Oil makes a huge recover to settle at… $71? Jesus. Its like 2013 all over again! Get the jalopey ready, Ma! We’s just about ready to move back to Beverley Hills!

    I would tie this to the Patriots, but nobody is worried about beating the Bears next season.

    Huh, never heard this before. Probably the right band to cover that one.

  • The Hat and The Hair: Episode 76

     

    The air in the Kennedy Fuck Tunnels had been stale and muggy and Rudy pulled out his compact to check his make-up for the fifth time. It felt like his mascara was running but his mascara wasn’t running. He hated being smuggled into the White House like a common whore, like a shameful secret.

    “He says he still loves me,” Rudy whispered into the tiny mirror. “I believe him. I have to believe him.” He used a red-lacquered nail to start the ancient cage elevator. It rumbled and shook as it dragged him up into the light.

    “Good evening, sir,” Rudy said breathily to the Secret Service agent that open the elevator door for him. He offered a hand to the agent but the large man in the sunglasses and earpiece stared at it until Rudy dropped it to his side.

    “No manners,” Rudy muttered to himself. “No manners whatsoever.” He touched his hair self-consciously as he followed the agent to the Oval Office.

    “Knock first,” the agent said when they reached the door. He had a sneer on his face as he stood to the side.

    Rudy straightened his blouse where it had slipped off the hump forming on his back and took a deep breath to steady himself. “He loves me, he loves me, he loves me, he loves me,” he whispered as he knocked. The door buzzed and unlocked with the dull thud of a bolt drawing back. He stepped through as the door opened.

    “Friend Rudy,” Donald said, loud and heartily and completely fake even to his hopeful ears. The door shut itself behind him.

    The smell hit him first, piss and jizz and the warm animal reek of unwashed bodies. Rudy put a hand up to cover his nose and mouth.

    “Come in, come in,” Donald said. He was in a bathrobe untied at the waist and nothing else. Rudy couldn’t help but look at the greasy white hair of his pubic mound and the angry red stub of a penis sticking out of it. He tore his eyes away to look at the President’s face: the narrowed eyes, the thin lips, the broken blood vessels in his cheek and nose.

    “Mr. President,” Rudy said. He tried not to let his eyes widen in shock as the President’s hair reared up as if blowing in a nonexistent breeze and settled itself back down, kneading the President’s head like a cat trying to get comfortable.

    “What’s this about pleading the 5th?” Donald asked. “I can’t plead the 5th. Mobsters plead the 5th. Gangsters plead the 5th. Guys who sleep with porn stars plead the 5th. I can’t plead the 5th.”

    “Mr. President,” Rudy began, “I misspoke. I’ll clean it up. I’ll make it all better.”

    Donald held up his right hand. A Make America Great hat was sitting on his fist.

    “He says this is really uncomfortable,” Donald said.

    “Who, Mr. President?”

    “What?” Donald said like a deafened concertgoer.

    “Who says it’s uncomfortable, Mr. President?” Rudy asked. The heat in the Oval Office was turned up jungle hot. Rudy could feel the gusset of his support panties getting wet.

    “The hat. The hat says sitting on my fist is really uncomfortable. He says it’s like getting fisted,” Donald said.

    “Yes, Mr. President,” Rudy said. He hugged himself under his stuffed bra.

    “Say hello to my hat,” Donald said thrusting the fisted hat forwards. “He is my most trusted adviser.”

    Rudy backed away from the filthy hat involuntarily and Donald took a step forward.

    “Uh, hello Mr. Hat,” Rudy said. “I’m Rudy Giuliani. Nice to meet you.”

    “He wants to know why you are dressed up like a cheap tranny hooker,” Donald said. He reached out with his free hand and caressed Rudy’s breasts.

    “You told me to come in disguise, Mr. President,” Rudy stammered. “And you’ve always liked this dress.”

    Donald turned the hat’s front toward his face and they both laughed.

     

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBKu9OJ8Ltk