ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ SEES GLIBERTARIAN CHOSEN ONES TRAVELING THE WEST…AND HE LONGS TO JOIN THEM. BUT ZARDOZ UNDERSTANDS HIS DUTY TO THE CHOSEN ONES, AND THE GRAIN CO-OP HE MAKES DELIVERIES FROM. THEREFOR, RECEIVE THEN THE GIFT OF THE LINK! USE IT TO GO FORTH AND SNARK AT THE FILTH OF BRUTALS;
WHEN ZARDOZ REFERS TO THE FILTH OF BRUTALS, IT IS OFTEN APPARENT HE MEANS CHICAGO BRUTALS. NOT TO BE TOO CYNICAL, BUT ZARDOZ SUPPOSES THE ANSWER TO ALL THESE PROBLEMS WILL BE MORE MONEY AND POWER TO THE CPS BRUTALS? THIS IS WHERE BRUTALITY LIVES.
ZARDOZ FOUND ANOTHER INSTANCE OF BRUTALITY….BOSTON TRAFFIC. SO, ZARDOZ SUPPOSES THE SAME OLD ANSWERS WILL BE PROPOSED…City officials created the Boston 2030 plan to meet the demands as they predict the population will exceed 700,000 in less than 12 years. The recent hike in double-parking fines to up to $55 is one way to alleviate some congestion, Walsh added.
“We have to be creative,” he said. “People might criticize us for raising the fines but it’ll cut down on double parking and it will cut down on people parking in loading zones.”
Other solutions, he suggests, include encouraging commuters to take public transportation, using the rental “Blue Bikes” and carpooling.
“I think pushing more people to public transportation is key,” Walsh said.
POINT AWARDED TO ZARDOZ.
THIS SIMPLY CONFUSES ZARDOZ. IS THIS FROM THE ANIMATIONS OF THE HAT AND HAIR THAT THE CHOSEN ONE CPRM CREATES? WAS THIS SCRIPTED BY THE CHOSEN ONE CALLED SUGARFREE?
AND LASTLY, ZARDOZ LEAVES YOU WITH A WONDERFUL EXAMPLE OF NANNY STATE BRUTALITY. NOTE THE WORD USED…”FORCED”.
Between the skies not being terribly helpful, work being more nuts than usual (how can a chiller that works perfectly completely seize up because I moved it 600 yards into a different room?), me planning on heading north of the wall to meet up with a red-haired French teacher in about three hours, this look into the astral influences is going to be sparse. Or, perhaps you can think of it as me giving you more room to experience your own personal relationship with the stars without having to worry about “rules” or “interpretations” that would impinge on your freedom. Let’s go with that one.
If I have time for stargazing this weekend, something has gone terribly wrong.
Only one alignment to discuss: Sol-Mars-Saturn (retrograde), Venus in opposition. One meaning of that is a woman will be murdered in a particularly horrific fashion. I really don’t like that one*, so hunting for alternates gives us “fight breaks out at peace talks,” or “some people claim that there’s a woman to blame.” Expect Angela Merkel to fuck something up. Possibly Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
As to the whole planet-in-constellation list…
Venus is transiting out of Cancer, lessening the overall feminine influences.
Aquarius should expect a visit from… red? Woman? Scarlet woman? Something like that anyway. Also, commies will gather by a large body of water.
Saturn retrograde will not get the fuck out of Capricorn! There are just so many goat jokes that a non-Welshman can make!
This week will be good for thinking and intellectual work with Mercury sharing the Sun in Gemini. The Venus/Cancer connection earlier will extend this to psychotherapy for all you madglibs out there.
And of course, Jupiter retrograde keeps up governmental misrule, abuse, and general fuckings-over. Speaking of general fuckings-over, here’s what you get when you get when you ask for recommendations for fun things to do in Ottawa (not intended to disparage any glibs advice, this came from a coworker):
*It’s a question famously raised (but not answered) by the Dune books: does the prophet see the future, or create it?
After an eventful day yesterday, SP and I ended up in Sioux Falls, SD. What sorts of events, you might ask? The usual Mann Act violations? Sure, but the real adventures were storms and Jews. The latter will be expanded on in a separate post. The former was typical midwest stuff: tornado alerts, flash floods, massive thunderstorms. Nothing like 3 feet of visibility to add excitement to a ride.
The fun parts were because of our tendency to avoid interstates and keep to back roads, where we find charming towns, nice people, and a few odder attractions. Unlike most internet website elites, we had no urge whatsoever to write a rednecks-in-the-mist article, but then again, we know how to change a tire.
Happiest of all is our dog, who so far has managed to spread her urine across five states, with three more to go. Speaking of which, we had a surprise when we got to the pets-allowed hotel we had booked: they have a policy, not stated on their website, of limiting pets to 80 pounds and under. Looking at our behemoth, we figured this was going to be a challenge. “Scrunch down, pretend you’re a beagle!” Slipping in the side door, away from the front desk, was the key to success.
June 10 is quite an auspicious day in history. In precedent which has been continued to this day, it is the anniversary of the US invading a country that posed no threat, with the Marines landing in Cuba. The worst outcome of this war was its contribution to the rise of Teddy Roosevelt, certainly on the list of our Ten Worst Presidents. It’s also the birthday of Nat Hentoff, perhaps the last honest liberal, and Bobby Jindal, the less said about, the better.
Speaking of spreading urine, here’s some links to news items that caught my (((eye))):
This was talked about last night a bit, but didn’t make the formal links post- but should have. CRISIS, PEOPLE, CRISIS! Angela, Justin, and Manny are horrified. I’m famously not a fan of Trump, but shit like this is starting to win me over.
Last of all, it is sad for me to note the passing of former Fleetwood Mac guitarist Danny Kirwan. Kirwan was in the band during the years when they did interesting music rather than the shitty pop that later brought them greater riches. He had the unenviable job of playing guitar on the same stage as Peter Green, but he still managed to imprint his personality in the music. And that inevitably leads us into today’s Old Guy Music. Fittingly, this song is from Kiln House, the first album from FM following Peter Green’s departure. The album is… uneven. But the high points were Kirwan’s songs, and this one was perhaps his best. Our band covered it in many gigs, and it was just as fun to play as it is to listen to.
STEVE SMITH SEE OMWC ON ROAD. HOPE HIM COME VISIT STEVE SMITH! WHILE WAIT TO SEE, STEVE SMITH MAKE LINKS FOR FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE. YOU READ LINKS, STEVE SMITH GO BACK CLEAN CAVE FOR VISITORS.
THIS SAY MUCH ABOUT EU. STEVE SMITH FEEL BAD FOR COW. MAYBE STEVE SMITH ADOPT COW IF NO CAN STAY IN EU? COULD LOVE COW, PET COW AND NAME GEORGE!
GO AWAY MOOSE! YOU NO STAY HERE! STEVE SMITH MAKE MOOSE LEAVE. DRAG MOOSE OFF AND MAKE BEHAVE. BY MAKE BEHAVE, MEAN RAPE. STEVE SMITH NO LIKE MOOSES. THEM ALWAYS BEING PESTS.
YOU NO GET MONEY! BRITISH HOOMAN ANGRY AT EU. MAYBE HIM ANGRY ABOUT COW STORY, AND THIS REVENGE? WANT SEE DRUNK EU PRESIDENT DEMAND ENGLAND MONEY, GET HEADBUTT FROM HOOLIGAN. STEVE SMITH LAUGH AT THAT.
THAT NOT HOW FAMILY FUN DAY GO! PHILADELPHIA STRANGE PLACE. STEVE SMITH NO GO THERE.
Virtue signaling…it’s everywhere isn’t it? At first it wasn’t that irritating, because it was easily ignored. The only people doing it were the usual suspects that would go away when their 15 minutes of fame were up. Then Twitter came along and verified how much everybody is stupid—except for you. It drives people to drink. Then the booze merchants had to get in on the act.
I promised myself that when I finally found this I would take it out to the desert and shoot it. Sadly, it was more expensive than I anticipated so I decided I needed to get back at Stone. How can I do it if don’t have a Twitter account?
This is my review of Budweiser Freedom Reserve Lager (limited release).
I figure the best way to stick it to them is to leave it on the shelf and buy something else that doesn’t suit Stone’s standard of “independentness.” Even if Budweisser is technically virtue signaling with this one, at least its one I can get behind. For the astonishing price of $16.99 for a dirty dozen, Budweiser will donate a percentage of the proceeds to Folds of Honor, a Veteran’s charity.
The problem I have with a lot of Veterans charities is how many of them, to put it bluntly: suck. Turns out Veterans like any other seemingly disadvantaged group are used to prey on the compassion of others. In fairness, if somebody wants to donate money, so long as everything is voluntary it is perfectly acceptable for a well meaning individual to do so.
The most well known example of such a charity is the Wounded Warrior Project. To put it politely: they suck ass. Given their celebrity endorsements, merchandising, being schilled by Bill O’Reilly every night for ten years, and their extensive marketing campaign it should be no surprise they have a high overhead. I would find it acceptable if that was the only questionable thing they were spending their donations on. TW: NY Times. Except it wasn’t; they were actually paying their executives $½ million salaries and hosting events at five star hotels. It got to the point where Charity Navigator gave them a D rating after they spent 40% of their revenue on overhead. They got better, but for many it’s too little too late. Then there are other scheisters who will use their well-known name to enrich themselves.
One I do like is Pat Tillman Foundation. I’ve participated in one of their events called Pat’s Run, where Arizona State hosts a 4.2 mile long run around Tempe Town Lake and ending at Sun Devil Stadium. Why the odd distance? He was number 42 at Arizona State. Its a scholarship fund.
Folds of Honor seems legitimate enough to me, they too are a scholarship fund.
About this beer: if you are leaving it on the shelf because you think it’s going to suck—it might surprise you. It’s a malty red lager based on a recipe recovered at Mount Vernon. Obviously, it’s different due to Washington predating lagers. My only complaint is it could use a bit more body but to be completely honest, this one doesn’t suck. Budweiser Freedom Reserve Lager (limited release): 3/5
The worst part about getting ready for our road trip is the packing. SP wanted to bring ALL of her stuffed animals and it took hours to calm her down after she realized it just wasn’t going to fit. After all, I needed room for the bags of Skittles and my various trench coats. Nonetheless, it’s Saturday, the Glibertariat expects fresh links, and frankly, I’m now exhausted. So if there’s a theme here, it’s purely coincidental.
I can’t help but think about the greatest road trip movie ever. Watching it now, you see gags that have been stolen by every road trip comedy made in the last 50 years- I’m looking at YOU, National Lampoon’s Vacation. Here’s a delightful clip that starts out with a classic line and goes off into five minutes of pure improv. Oh, and on the Hollywood theme, happy birthday to Johnny Depp, who truly is a fine actor, with an uncanny ability to disappear into a role. And apparently, something happened in some trash sport yesterday, but it’s not football, so who gives a shit.
“…SO, YOU HAVE THAT? POUND PASTRAMI, CAN KRAUT, SIX BAGELS – BRING HOME FOR EMMA.”
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ IS PLEASED. WHEN YOU WERE LIFTED FROM BRUTALITY, YOU WERE COMMANDED TO SNARK AT THE BRUTALS – AND THIS WEEK YOU HAVE DONE WELL. ZARDOZ HAS SEEN MUCH QUALITY SNARK, BITING WIT AND HUMOR – AT THE EXPENSE OF THE BRUTALS WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH. EARLIER, YOU RECEIVED THE GIFT OF THE GUN POST. NOW RECEIVE THE GIFT OF THE LINK!
YES….YES! THIS IS HOW EXOTIC PLAGUES BEGIN. THE SMALL SIMIAN HAS DONE WELL. STAND BY FOR NEWS OF A NEW ZIKA-DENGUE-EBOLA LIKE OUTBREAK.
ZARDOZ GROWS IMPATIENT WITH SPAIN-CATALONIA DANCE. BEGIN COMBAT! THERE HAS BEEN A MINUSCULE AMOUNT OF CLEANSING TO DATE. PICK UP THE PACE, IBERIAN BRUTALS!
NOW, ZARDOZ BELIEVES, THIS IS MORE LIKE IT! SOME BURNING, SHOOTING, CLEANSING.
THAT HAT AND HAIRED ONE HAS REACHED TROLL LEVEL – GRANDMASTER.
Bolt guns kind of own the outdoor rifle scene west of the Mississippi. Here in Colorado during the general rifle deer/elk seasons, probably 75-80% of the rifles you see are bolt guns. So, let’s look at those first, then we’ll come around to some other options. And there are other options; here’s a teaser, “Browning Automatic Rifle” doesn’t always refer to the WW2-era squad automatic rifle.
So, why bolt guns? They are simple, strong and accurate. Bolt guns will easily accommodate the most powerful hunting cartridges. Their stiffness and solid lockup increases accuracy, a key consideration in the West’s open country where 200 to 300-yard shots are not unusual. They are easy to maintain, easy to field-strip, easy to clean and easy to use.
A nice Colorado meat buck.
Bolt guns are also handy in that they have one feature shared by few other action types, save single-shots: You can remove the bolt without tools and access the entire length of the barrel. That’s handy for clearing blockages or just running an oiled patch through the barrel after a day out in rain or snow.
There are too many bolt rifles for sale today to go into brands, but there are a few things to think about when looking for a good bolt gun:
Controlled-feed vs. push-feed. This is largely a matter of personal preference. Controlled-feed guns, like the Mauser, have a large claw extractor that picks up the next round from the magazine and holds it in place while the bolt moves into battery. Push-feed guns, like the Remington 700, are just like they sound, simply pushing the round ahead of the bolt into the chamber. Controlled-feed advocates make a case for reliability of feed, although in a lot of those guns you can’t drop one round into the gun and close the bolt; the round has top be picked up from the magazine. But this is mostly a matter of preference.
If you are looking at a rifle built on a surplus Mauser or other military action, most of those won’t have a hinged floorplate. This is a disadvantage in that it requires you, when clearing the weapon, to cycle all rounds through the action, slightly (at least, it damn well better be slightly) increasing the odds of an accidental discharge. A lot of cheaper bolt guns (think Remington 700 ADL) have blind magazines, which have the same issue. A hinged floorplate allows you to dump unused rounds into your hand without them going through the action. That’s handy.
Locking lugs. Personally, I like the old classic layout, two big beefy locking lugs at the front of the bolt. It’s easier to maintain a solid lockup and keep headspace with two big lugs than with nine little ones, like the old Weatherby Mark V has.
If bolt guns aren’t your cup of tea, there are other options.
Semi-autos are very popular these days and have probably surpassed single-shots in the Western game field scene. Bear in mind that most, if not all states limit you to five rounds or less in any rifle used to take big game; that’s rarely an issue in bolt guns but sure can be in a semi-auto. The AR platform can handle some rounds suitable for deer-sized game, while the AR-10 and guns like the old Winchester 100 and the various Remington semis can handle .308- and .30-06-level rounds. If you want more oomph, look into the Browning Automatic Rifle, a gas-operated powerhouse in chamberings up to the .338 Winchester Magnum.
Single-shots are still popular. While older designs like the Springfield are weak by today’s standards and require light loads, modern singles like the Ruger #1 and the new-manufacture Browning Hi-Wall are bank-vault tough and can handle any rounds you choose to feed them.
Singles have another advantage: If you are on a tight budget, some singles like the New England Firearms break-tops are very easy on the bankbook and can be had in a wide variety of calibers. If your budget is really tight, you can even have a shotgun and rifle in one go with the simple expedient of purchasing additional barrels.
Finally, there is the classic Western rifle: The lever gun. While most lever guns are 200-yard propositions for deer-sized game, there are a couple of notable exceptions. The Savage 99 can be had in the .300 Savage and the .308 Winchester, which lends some more power to a platform traditionally used for cartridges like the .30-30. And there is the fine old Browning Lever Rifle (BLR) which feeds from a box magazine, handles cartridges up to the .300 Winchester Magnum and has a rotating bolt head with bolt-action-style locking lugs at the front of the bolt; the BLR has been described as a bolt gun where the bolt is operated by a lever, and that’s a pretty good description.
No matter what rifle you choose, there’s another key decision to be made as well, which brings us to…
Cartridges
In recent years it seems like we’ve seen an explosion (pun intended) of new rifle cartridges. Some of these are commercial adoptions of popular wildcat rounds, some are purposely developed by gun and/or ammunition manufacturers. I’m not immune to the wildcatting bug myself; I’ve long thought of having my favorite .30-06 rechambered to the .30-06 Ackley Improved, which gives .300 H&H Magnum ballistics while still allowing use of regular .30-06 factory loads.
For the most part, though, I’m a practical kind of guy, and most of my rifles are hunting rifles. While plenty of folks love to play with custom calibers or line up to buy the first examples of the latest Eargesplitten Loudenboomer Magnum, I’m pretty content to stick with cartridges that have been around a while.
Now, admittedly, I’ve got quite a few more rifles than I need for just hunting North American big game, like buck mulies or big bull elk. I load for and shoot rifles in the .22 Hornet (developed in the 1920’s and adopted by Winchester in 1930), the .45-70 (introduced 1873), the .338 Winchester Magnum (introduced 1958), and the .30 WCF (introduced 1895.)
Most of these cartridges are readily available in any large gun or sporting-goods store; hell, you can buy many of them in Wal-Mart, at least some kind of ammo to get you shooting. But when it comes to availability of ammo, you still can’t really beat the old .30-06 Springfield. The ’06 may be 112 years old, but it’s still one of the best big-game rounds going; if I know someone interested in learning the ins and outs of hunting and shooting who wants to buy a single rifle for North American big game, they would be well-advised to buy a .30-06. It will easily handle anything from antelope to moose, although it may be a bit on the light side for big Alaskan bears and the largest bull Alaska-Yukon moose. But the ’06 has a huge advantage for those packing one gun across long distances, perhaps in airline checked baggage: If you lose your ammo supply somewhere en route, you can walk into almost any gas station, bait shop, or general store (there are still some around) and buy at least some kind of ammo that you can re-zero and get to work with.
The only other rifle cartridge that you can say that about it perhaps the old .30 WCF (.30-30, for those not familiar with the original name) and the trienta-trienta is popular enough from the Yukon to the Canal Zone, but not quite up to game like elk or moose. It’s strictly a 150-200-yard cartridge for deer-sized game.
I reckon the .30-06 will be around at least as long as I am. Rifle and cartridge design hasn’t changed all that much, overtly, in the last 100 years; most modern bolt-action rifles are adaptations of the 1898 Mauser, and scores of cartridges, wildcat and otherwise, are still based on the .30-06 case. What has advanced in the shooting world is metallurgy, ammunition propellants and projectiles, and optics. But a good case design is a good case design, which is why the .30-06 remains one old dog that’s learned lots of new tricks.
But, with that said: I have one principle when it comes to hunting rifles: You can shoot little stuff with a big gun, but you can’t shoot big stuff with a little gun. That’s why I generally go afield with a .338 Winchester Magnum.
Shooting legend Elmer Keith was also a fan of the big .33 caliber for big game, although he favored the wildcat .333 OKH, named for its designers Charles O’Neil, Don Hopkins, and the aforementioned Elmer Keith. The OKH was a .30-06 round opened up to take .333 caliber bullets. This wildcat round saw some use in western game fields alongside the similar .35 Whelen (the .30-06 case necked up to .35 caliber) until 1958, when Winchester released the more powerful .338 Winchester Magnum.
If I were to own only one rifle, it would be a .338 Winchester Magnum bolt gun wearing a 2-7X or 3-9X scope and a good stout leather shooting sling. With that, you can easily kill any big game animal in North America while not messing up a 120-pound meat deer too much. But that’s a qualified recommendation; I’m tall, big-framed, and not very recoil-sensitive.
Some folks are just the opposite. Mrs. Animal is small, tiny-framed (4’11”) and, due to chronic pain issues, much more recoil-sensitive. Her primary hunting rifle is a Ruger 77 MkII Compact in the rather interesting little .260 Remington, a good round for deer-size game, but one that will handle elk with good controlled-expansion bullets and careful shot placement.
1891 Argentine stalking rifle
If you’re recoil-conscious and bigger game is on the menu, there are some excellent old standbys, including the .270 Winchester, the .280 Remington and the .30-06. Short-action rounds like the .308 have been wildly successful as well, partly because they work. The old 7x57mm Mauser has killed big game all over the world – “Karamojo” Bell famously killed a lot of African elephants with it, a feat I wouldn’t want to attempt. Some years back I found an old 1891 Argentine Mauser action wearing a 7x57mm barrel; I put a butterknife bolt handle and a Redfield peep on it, stocked it with a nice slim English walnut stock. It was a neat little rifle, light, handy and shootable. I fed it mild handloads and killed a few deer and one javelina with it.
Of course, there’s more to recoil than the cartridge. My .338 is manageable in part because it weighs close to ten pounds loaded, has a nice thick butt pad and is Mag-Na-Ported. The worst-kicking rifle I ever owned was a small-ring 98 Mauser with a slick little European-style stalker stock in black walnut, with an 18” light sporter barrel in .308 and a 1.5-5x scope. It weight about six and a half pounds loaded and was a joy to carry but kicked like a bad-tempered mule.
Optics/Sights
Here’s a basic observation: Most people over-scope their hunting rifles. My favorite example is a guy I chatted with up in Routt County one year who had a 4-12 power, adjustable objective scope on a Marlin 336 .30-30. Scoping the ChiCom SKS is another fad of recent days, which seems like it’s pretty much the definition of polishing a turd.
Most folks, for most hunting, can do very well with a 4X fixed-power scope or a 2-7X or 3x9X variable. You’ll find that in most shooting with variables you’ll keep the scope dialed to the lower end of the range, as target acquisition is a lot quicker with lower magnification.
Long Rifle.
If you’re setting up a rifle for plains deer or antelope, you might want more scope; I have one like that, a Ruger 77 Mk II Target with a 6-18X scope. But that’s a specialized rifle for reaching out and touching speed-goats in open country; it’s not something you want to carry around all day. The damn thing weighs almost twelve pounds with scope, bipod, sling and a load of .243 rounds.
Whatever scope you buy, don’t skimp, but you don’t have to take out a second mortgage. Redfield, Weaver, Simmons and Burris all make reasonably priced good, solid scopes in a wide range of sizes and powers. It’s not out of line to spend as much on your optics as you’ve spent on your rifle, but you can get a decent scope for less than that if you shop around.
In Conclusion
Find a good rifle that you can handle, that you can shoot well, and practice, practice, practice. Get off the range and shoot in the field, from improvised rests and off-hand. Learn how to shoot in the field and you can hit anything, anywhere. Make sure your cartridge/bullet combination is appropriate to the game you’re after; I would not recommend taking on an Alaska grizzly with a .243, for example.
A good hunting rifle should last a couple of lifetimes. Consider it an investment, one that can be passed on to the next generation and choose accordingly. You won’t regret it.
...is the essence of ultrarunning.
Hey! That's not ventriloquism but it is funny, at least to some.
Same with ultrarunning: it's not ventriloquism, but it is funny,
at least to some.
This article is a quickly written, poorly thought out, biased introduction to the hobby.
You ready?
Ready anytime you are!
Technically, an ultramarathon is any foot race longer than 26.2 miles. Typical ultra distances are 50k (31 miles), 50 miles, 100k and 100 miles. Marathons are, more often than not, done on roads, and conversely ultras are more often done on trails.
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People run for many different reasons. Ultrarunners tend to run because they like how they feel as they are running. Some people get into ultrarunning through more traditional running (e.g. track and field or cross country); others come into it through hiking (sometimes through through-hiking).
Did I mention that ultrarunning isn’t really running? The nomenclature can be confusing. Someone who has finished an ultramarathon may casually say, “I just ran [name of ultramarathon] ” when in reality that finisher spent a good portion of the time walking or hiking. I guess the boastful may be deliberately choosing a misleading word to make the accomplishment sound bigger, but ultrarunners use the same word when talking to other ultrarunners who know full well how much walking might be involved (depending on the “runner,” the course, and the conditions).
You don’t have to be Albert Einstein to do the math and figure that someone who completes a 100 mile “run” in 29 hours is not running all that time. In fact, some people do complete ultramarathons without running at all. More typical is the mid-packers strategy of hiking the uphills, and running the flats and gentle downhills, and standing still or even sitting when eating or using the bathroom. Yes, there are exceptions even to those rules testified by little wiggly lines in the sand.
Consequentially, “running” an ultramarathon can be easier (potentially *much* easier) than running a marathon. It’s a great sport for slackers. In the middle of a “race” you can just drop your dummy and stop for whatever reason. Lots of ultra race reports include pictures that were taken by the participants during the race. You can do this when “running” a marathon (and people do), but there is often a different mindset involved.
When someone runs a marathon for the first time, it is not uncommon for that race to be that runner’s first time running that long. Typical training plans for beginning marathon runners have the training go up to 20 miles, with race day being the only time that runner does the full distance. As such, people tend to underestimate how long it’s going to take. In addition to not being aware of just how quickly they may fall apart in the best of circumstances, there’s just enough new stuff going on that virgin marathoners tend to make a lot of mistakes (going out too fast is super typical), yet they cross the finish line and are overwhelmed by emotion when finishing their first marathon.
Anywhere from seconds to weeks after finishing, the disparity between the prediction and reality becomes unsettling, but when thinking about all the mistakes that were made, the next step people often take is to sign up for their second marathon, eliminate the mistakes and see a dramatic decrease in finishing time. However, just as the nascent marathoner didn’t realize how quickly things can fall apart on one’s first marathon, it’s as easy to over extrapolate the gains that one makes between one’s first and second marathon, leading to disappointment on the third.
Some people then fall into a trap and get a bit neurotic about their marathon finishing times. They put in big blocks of time training for an event and then if anything goes wrong (weather, family emergencies, work) they feel let down. They’re no longer running for the fun of running (if they ever did that; there are a lot of people who run their first marathon for reasons other than a love of running).
Marathon courses are typically measured to be exactly 26.2 miles long, because if they’re shorter they can’t be used to qualify for the Boston Marathon and if they’re longer then all the people who are trying to set new personal records (PRs) are going to avoid them.
Ultras, especially trail ultras, tend to be different. Often the distance of the course is an approximation; the “natural” starting and stopping points, due to where the trails are, might cause a 50 miler to be 53 miles. Whereas the presence of hills on a marathon course (unless it’s a downhill course) tend to turn away marathoners, elevation change on ultras is often seen as a way to change gears (i.e., walk!) or as a challenge. Additionally, weather (and fires) cause course re-routes, so not only is it hard to compare two different ultras of ostensibly the same size, it’s often hard to compare the same ultra from year to year. That helps break the PR-driven mindset.
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Did I mention the free drugs? Many people get the runners high when running long but not particularly hard (after years of training, so their muscles, joints and ligaments are all used to the effort). Just watch the portion of this video that has the black and white photos.
These people are about 60 miles into a very tough 120 mile event. Look at their eyes; those people are fucked up. Look at their smiles; those people are happy! Oh, sure, the tequila helps also. In addition to the endocannabinoids your body makes, ultra aid stations often have free beer, tequila or other spirits.
Ultrarunners tend not to take themselves very seriously. The Dahlonega Ultra Marathon Association (DUMASS)’s motto is “Poor Decisions Make for Better Stories.” The Javelina Jundred, a popular hundred mile race outside of Phoenix, has a major aid station named “Jackass Junction.”
Sure, some people bucket-list a particular distance or a particular race. Sometimes that turns into a one-and-done, but many people find that the slower pace, along with the camaraderie and feeling of freedom leads to a fun hobby that can be enjoyed for hours (sometimes days) at a time and done again fairly soon thereafter. This isn’t always obvious from the race reports and videos that people write and make, because it’s human nature to emphasize the grueling aspects or the problems that had to be overcome.
However, although ultramarathoning is still pretty tiny, it’s growing by leaps and bounds, primarily because it really is pretty fun (to some people) and it’s definitely a lot easier than it sounds.
Every GlibFit 2.0 is, in-part, about ALaTW. That’s because he is writing them and he can only write about things that he knows. But this week is more so. You see, ALaTW got fat because he was hungry. He was always hungry. I don’t mean that, every once in a while, he was a fourteen year old girl having a second bowl of ice-cream and texting “oh I cud eat a horse lol” to her friend.
I mean he was deeply, truly, pathologically hungry. All the time.
He wasn’t eating to cover up his emotions. He wasn’t eating to get back at his dad. He was ravenous. And nothing would make him full. Eating wouldn’t make him full. His rule was once a year he would eat until he was full, usually at Thanksgiving. It never worked. One year, he was bound and determined to see what it was like to be full. For Science. Yes really.
He ate so much he got physically ill. You know what he felt on the way to the bathroom? Hunger. Just like the other 364 days of the year. His normal was just an unending, unmanageable hunger pang.
When the Internet’s Hottest Young Intellectual reviewed a book about hunger and satiety, ALaTW’s ears perked up. He read the book (the way God intended, as an audiobook.) In fact, he read it twice. And he never does that. The Bible and Lord of the Flies are the only other two books he’s read more than once. But this book was particularly related to his interests and he wanted to sign up for the newsletter. That was in May of last year.
Because ALaTW is a slow and careful and meticulous and lazy thinker, he let those ideas percolate until December, when they got put into action. A doctor’s visit telling him he was going to die also helped him get started. And you know what?
Ladies, ask me about another organ I have that can grow on command… Hey, um, where are all the ladies?
Two days in, he felt something he never felt before. He felt full.
Without further narcissistic ado, here’s the meat of this post. Losing weight requires you to eat less. The human brain is the universe’s most powerful supercomputer in command of the world’s most complicated data network in your hormone system. It evolved to keep you alive, which means “with fat stores.” If you try to eat less, your brain will fight you. Hard. Most people can’t beat it. ALaTW couldn’t.
So don’t fight fair. Fight fucking dirty. Don’t take it head on. Look at it from a security perspectiveand twist the system to your ends. How can you give it inputs its not expecting in order to get it to behave in a way it was never supposed to?
Here’s what you do. ALaTW did this and was able to maintain a 2,000 calorie deficit a day. And he was full, the whole time.
The Holy Trinity: Fat, Protein, and Volume
The first and biggest hack is to put food in your body that looks like high calorie food. When your stomach senses fat, protein, and volume, it releases a hormone that tells your brain it got a bunch of calories. Note the flaw in this design. Its using fat, protein, and volume as a proxy measure.
If you aren’t free to buy old meat from a stranger in a cave with no refrigeration, you aren’t really free.
So eat fat, protein, and volume in low calories. What does that look like? The vegetables for a huge ass salad are maybe a hundred calories. Grilled chicken thighs, ground beef, and pulled pork are all full of fat and protein. That’s right, ALaTW ate a ton of salad. Grilled chicken salad. Taco salad. Cobb salad. Yeah, I know. Salad is something of a meme for the conspicuously non-FitGlibbing. How about a ribeye and asparagus? That’s got volume, fat, and protein too. Where’s your God now, trolls? ALaTW happens to love salad, and probably eats five a week when not dieting, so this wasn’t too hard for him.
You know what else has fat, protein, and volume? A protein shake fortified with healthy, nutritious heavy cream. Four fl oz of heavy cream, two scoops of protein, and a bunch of water was his lunch every day and it kept me full.
The astute reader might notice that.. Hm.. that sounds a lot like keto. Yeah, it is. There’s a reason it works. Lots of people on keto can eat on a deficit without trying. Those of us that still have to try find it easier while on keto. This is why.
Eat on a Schedule
Lots of people get in a routine, and their body adapts. They wake up two minutes before their alarm. Or they need to drop the kids off at the pool right before they leave for work.
Well, hunger works like that too. Eat breakfast at exactly the same time every day. Eat lunch at exactly the same time every day. Eat dinner at exactly the same time every day. Hell, ALaTW even ate the exact same things for breakfast and lunch every day. Four scrambled eggs for breakfast. Protein shake for lunch.
ALaTW’s body got on a schedule. It didn’t expect food outside of 6:30 AM, 11:30 AM, or 6:00 PM. So it never sent ALaTW hunger pangs unless he was late to a meal.
The astute reader might notice that.. Hm.. that sounds a lot like intermediate fastings. Yeah, it is. There’s a reason why it works. Lots of people on IF can eat on a deficit without trying. Those that still have to try find it easier while on IF. This is why. (ALaTW tried IF for a week by skipping breakfast. IF + 2,000 calorie deficit + an hour at the gym on no breakfast was like getting hit by a truck.)
You eat with your eyes first
Your hunger response is controlled by a very old, very primal signaling system in the brain. The best way to think about it is to think of it like a two year old. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop… ever, until you are dead! I mean eating!
So when you eat, only let yourself see what you are ok eating. Make your plate in the kitchen. Then put away the leftovers, take your plate to the dining room, and eat. If you have to fight with your brain about having another scoop of food, you will lose. Instead, avoid the fight. Just like putting a toy away and distracting a two year old.
Bonus Week 4 Challenge
Cook a meal from scratch. Make it in the kitchen. Put a serving on your plate, put the left overs away, walk the plate to the dining room, and eat it there.
Some people then fall into a trap and get a bit neurotic about their marathon finishing times. They put in big blocks of time training for an event and then if anything goes wrong (weather, family emergencies, work) they feel let down. They’re no longer running for the fun of running (if they ever did that; there are a lot of people who run their first marathon for reasons other than a love of running).
Your hunger response is controlled by a very old, very primal signaling system in the brain. The best way to think about it is to think of it like a two year old. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop… ever, until you are dead! I mean eating!