Summer has begun, and here in beautiful northern Illinois, it has been marked by monsoons and much colder than normal weather. The upside to that is that the street shootings tend to diminish slightly, though I don’t see any improvement in the kill ratio (our local yutes are lucky if they manage to waste one out of every twenty people they wing). So of course, my links will have nothing whatever to do with summer.

It’s an auspicious birthday list today. At the top, Alan Turing, father of modern computing theory. Saint Art Modell and his former employee Brandon Stokely as well. Clarence Thomas, who always skips four when he counts to ten. Country icon June Carter. And #metoo fall guy James Levine.

I’ve visited 49 out of the 57 50 states, the lone exception being Hawaii. I have had zero urge to go there since I hate hot humid climates, don’t do ocean sports, won’t eat Spam, and am allergic to grass skirts and progressive government. But maybe I should reconsider.

…sources revealed a number of criminal investigations into activities at the home. One of those investigation involves a mother who says her 5-year-old daughter witnessed sex and nudity at the home while there with her father. The girl drew a picture of the naked people in the house for her mother.

“She was sad, mad and confused. (She asked), why does everybody have to be naked?” said the girl’s mother, who asked not to be identified. A Child Protective Services document obtained by Hawaii News Now says that in May 2018, the girl “showed signs of sex abuse.”

“She took a small toy and was using it as a sexual toy,” the document said.

I’m not going to say that this is one of our beloved commenters, but… it’s one of our beloved commenters.

It is legal to shoot iguanas in the head with a pellet gun, stab them in the brain and even decapitate them as long as they don’t suffer, according to state law. University of Florida researchers say bashing in an iguana’s head and destroying its brain quickly is the most humane way to kill one.

It’s a crime to drown, freeze or poison iguanas. “When you put out rat poison, you can’t control what’s going to consume it,” Portuallo says. “The animals die a slow, excruciating death, which is inhumane.”

Meh, I’m sure he has far, far worse planned for us mammals.

It’s nice that the lazy leech Bernie Sanders doesn’t rely on having money funneled through his corrupt wife any more and has found new ways to grift. I’m sure that as he relaxes at his third beach home, he’s busy giving away all of his money to good causes, like the Koch brothers do. Right?

It is not clear if Sanders will contribute to two nonprofit organizations he founded in 2016 after his presidential bid — Our Revolution, a 501(c)4 political organization, and The Sanders Institute, a 501(c)3 nonprofit think tank co-founded by his wife and stepson.

Sanders formed his own “dark money” group at the same time he railed against 501(c)4s, which are not required to publicly disclose financial information, and have been effectively used by conservatives to influence elections and policymaking.

Sounds legit.

And speaking of corrupt politicians’ wives…

“Sara Netanyahu is a brave and honest woman and has never done anything wrong. Alongside her work as an expert educational psychologist treating children every week, she spends a lot of time helping children with cancer, Holocaust survivors and lone soldiers.”

Cue massive eye-rolling.

Though I advocate a massive reduction in Customs and Border Patrol and rate them only slightly better than the DEA and ATF, I admit that this was probably a better outcome than encountering STEVE SMITH.

“They put me in the caged vehicles and brought me into their facility,” said Roman. “They asked me to remove all my personal belongings with my jewelry. They searched me everywhere.”

Old Guy music will acknowledge the start of summer with this wonderful cover of a great Eddie Cochran song by a band which really presaged hair bands and spawned heavy metal. One of the comments noted the resemblance of the drummer to Cousin Itt and I can’t help but but agree. I also like the short Hendrix quote at 2:00.

STEVE SMITH BACK. HIM GLAD TO SEE FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE. FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE KNOW STEVE SMITH IS FOREST LAWYER. HIM PROMINENT FOREST LAWYER, AND TAKE UP GOOD CAUSE! HIM HEAR ABOUT CALIFORNIA BREAK IN PIECES. REVIVE CASCADIA INDEPENDENCE MOVEMENT!

STEVE SMITH START CIRCULATE PETITION. GET HIKERS AND CAMPERS SIGN IT. THEN THANK THEM. BY THANK, MEAN RAPE.

STEVE SMITH THINK HIM BE ATTORNEY FOREST GENERAL OR MAYBE RAPESQUATCH IN CHIEF. FREE CASCADIA! IN MEAN TIME, HERE LINKS:

1. STEVE SMITH NOT SURE HIM WANT SEATTLE AS PART CASCADIA. HOMELESS NO GOOD WHEN FILL RAPE QUOTA. BUT MUST TAKE BITTER WITH SWEET, IF HAVE CASCADIA.
2. PORTLAND TOO. YOU PICK UP GARBAGE, BUMS! STEVE SMITH NO WANT MESSY CASCADIA! YOU NO CRAP IN STREET!

   

3. MAYBE NOT VANCOUVER? BUT STEVE SMITH SEE THIS, LAUGH AND SAY “OK, VANCOUVER!”
4. STEVE SMITH SEE SILLY IDEA FROM NORTHWEST… SPREAD.

STEVE SMITH GO NOW. HIM MUST RESEARCH MORE FOR CASCADIA. BY RESEARCH MEAN…WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT HIM MEAN.

Happy Friday! Today is a good day to be Friday, because I just don’t have anymore work in me for a while. I saw the Brazil match. Crying after the second game of the opening stage? What the hell, Neymar? I was not expecting the Nigeria-Iceland result, and it looks bad for the Suisse right now.

Florida Man (or Woman) appears to have failed to wash their hands before preparing food at this summer camp. Also, you can tell Florida Man did the reporting, too. In other camp news, how fucking cool would it be to go off to Bible camp and come home on one of those big-ass transport helos?

Idiocracy is real.

Supreme Court comes to correct decision on cell-phone privacy. Still trying to figure out what the hell Gorsuch was trying to say/prove when he voted no to cell phone warrants.

Tesla watch. Whistleblower accuses Musk of punitive actions. If he’s not careful, Elon is gonna have to flee to Mars to avoid being indicted.

Have a song by the ugliest super group ever put together.

Well yesterday was a strange day.  It only rained for about 20 minutes.  I didn’t know what to do with myself.  Hell, the sun actually came out in the afternoon too! So hopefully the storms are passing and we can set the auction yard for tomorrow’s sale and nobody will get sucked through a sinkhole into the bowels of the earth.  But if they do, maybe they’ll see the Argentina team bus on the way down.  I mean…wow.  They got kicked in the taint by Croatia so hard that their chances of advancing into the knockout stages are really, really low.  Like winning-the-Falklands War-level unlikely.  Elsewhere in the tournament, the Frogs beat Peru and the Socceroos drew with Denmark in what was a rather exciting game.  Today brings us Brazil-Costa Rica, Nigeria-Iceland and Serbia-Switzerland.  Two of those three should be enjoyable while the first one will probably look like a dramatic reenactment of the Charles Whitman shooting spree with all the flopping that’s been going on from South- and Central American players.

Well we’re down to the Final Four in the College World Series.  And yes, those Happy Hogs are alive and kicking squealing.  They’ll take on Florida for the right to go to the championship series, needing to win just one game to get there and Florida needing to take a pair of games since they already have a loss.  The other pairing puts Oregon State in the position of needing two wins against Mississippi State, who needs just one to reach the final series. The action kicks off with Oregon State-MSU in the afternoon and UF-Arkansas in the evening.  Good luck to everyone. But not to the Gators.

The Astros were off. The Brewers won, the Reds beat the Cubs, the Giants won, the D-backs won and Baltimore continues to be inexplicably terrible as they fell to the Nats.  And that, my friends, is it for sports today.

Today we celebrate the birthday of gun enthusiast and enemy of bankers John Dillinger, the extraordinary filmmaker Billy Wilder, hospice founder Cicely Saunders, Highwayman Kris Kristofferson, “journalist” Ed Bradley, the pistol Pete Maravich, Polanski fan Meryl Streep, opportunistic scumbag Lizzie Warren, black Spock Tim Russ, filmmaking genius Bruce Campbell, Clyde “The Glide” Drexler, hater-of-Catholicism and writer of fiction Dan Brown, TV personality Carson Daly, top ranked golfer (in addition to being the dude banging Paulina Gretzky) Dustin Johnson, and somebody who goes by the name “Bob the drag queen”, whatever that means.

Mutineers set Henry Hudson adrift in Hudson Bay on this date. He was never seen from again. Galileo was forced to deny heliocentrism by the Pope, the first Continental Currency was issued, Napoleon abdicated his “throne” for the second time after getting crushed at Waterloo, the first ring doughnut was made, the US Government created the Department of Justice, the first passenger airship , named the Zeppelin Deutschland, took flight, George V, under which the British Empire reached its greatest size, took the throne, the aforementioned John Dillinger is named “public enemy No. 1, arguably the biggest military blunder of modern times, Operation Barbarossa, begins, Tricky Dick signed legislation setting the voting age at 18 across the country, John McEnroe threw his famous tantrum and Whitey Bulger was finally arrested.

Now that’s a lot better than yesterday, in my opinion. And there was a bunch of shit I left out too!  But I had to. Otherwise I’d have never gotten to…the links!

Looks like in addition to dying “in darkness” Democracy will die because of the jacket Melania Trump wore for a few minutes yesterday. Way to go, WaPo. I’m sure a Pulitzer is just around the corner for this bit of hard-hitting news.  Next thing you know, you’ll be reporting on what kind of salad dressing President Trump had relative to everybody else at lunch.

I’m just kidding.  That was actually breathlessly reported on by VOA and NPR. Seriously.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the biggest pussy in America.  Shocking that he’s facing charges and has been fired, which should be a relief to pre-teen children across the Wichita area.

Charles Krauthammer, Pulitzer Prize winner and war monger, has died. The world is no worse off for the loss.

Well it turns out that John McCain is a bigger piece of shit than even we believed him to be. Seriously, telling the IRS to audit PACs because the SC struck down your campaign finance law is a slap in the case of separation of powers, let alone a direct attack on the First Amendment.  That man needs to be charged with conspiracy to deprive the first amendment rights of every single group targeted by Lois Lerner and her jackboot goons.  I cannot stress enough how gross a violation of our rights to peaceably assemble and petition our government for a redress of grievances this is.  It attacks the fundamental foundation of a free people.

Is this what Alanis Morrissette would call “ironic”? I would.  I’d also call it hi-lar-i-ous!

Delta Airlines is banning pit bulls as service or “support-type” animals on their flights. And people are angry about it.  Here’s a bit of advice, Delta: ban ALL dogs that aren’t service animals for the blind or otherwise physically disabled.  The rest of your passengers will thank you and you can avoid headaches with breathlessly retarded people who can only fly if their Great Dane is standing beside them.  Let those fuckers pay to crate and ship their dog like everybody who wasn’t blind had to do before the whole “support animal” bullshit craze kicked off a short while ago.

Chicago medical examiner is so lazy that she wants to do away with the law that actually requires her office to visit crime scenes. The reason is simple: people in her office don’t follow the law anyway, so better to abolish the requirement rather than expect these public officials to follow it.  And furthermore, I mean who needs to look at a crime scene to determine cause of death anyway, right?

New Hampshire is rightfully pissed off over the Supreme Court’s Wayfair decision yesterday. Yeah, so is every small business owner in America who will be required to comply with the tax laws in 50 states, DC and several territories.

And lastly, Angela Merkel finally realizes her job is in jeopardy. About time you listened to your own citizens, dumbass.

Here you go, folks.

Have a great day and a better weekend, friends!

France goes through, the Soccerroos did a fair dinkum job against the Danes, but it won’t be enough. Messi and Argentina are looking to spend the rest of the summer at home, well, Messi won’t go back to Argentina if he wants to live. Looking forward to the youtube mashups — “Don’t shoot at me, Argentina”. It’s the longest day of the year, and I am feeling every second at work today.

Statists worry that TOP. MEN.’s plans for transit will be spoiled by the unwashed (and thanks to capitalism, far too rich for their own good) masses. Who keep wanting the control of being able to drive themselves! The nerve!

And, no sooner have the unwashed masses been granted the right to try life saving treatments thanks to unseemly protests against their leaders than the cries of “profiteering” ring out. Probably by someone who thinks paying $150/hr for holistic medicine practioners should be covered treatments for Stage IV cancer.

Hey guys, I’m sure we’ll all be surprised that doctors employed by the State suffered no consequences for prescribing life-shortening amounts of heroin to patients merely because they were old, and without first gaining the patients’ approval. Its almost like liability is a feedback mechanism….

And finally, state capitalism seems to be entering its terminal phase in Venezuela. May the coup be relatively bloodless and the next government more open to a free and fair society.

Here you go. The Longest Day. 

The Astros ended their one game losing streak and are still sitting on top of the AL West. Those lovable Hogs won in Omaha while North Carolina were eliminated. And in Russia, Portugal, Spain and Uruguay all won, with the latter sealing their bid in the Round of 16 and the others all but locking their spot down as well.  Today’s full of interesting games, with the Danes taking on the Socceroos, the Frogs playing Peru and the Brazilians who think they’re Italian but speak Spanish (otherwise known as Argentinians) take on Croatia.  Good luck one and all!

Sometimes the birthday roster is meh.  But I gotta say, I enjoy scrolling through them and catching an odd name or two.  Let’s see…today we celebrate the birthdays of: bullshit-artist Jean-Paul Sartre, the voluptuous Jane Russell, singer Ray Davies, E Street Band member Nils Lofgren, former Pakistani PM Benazir Bhutto, maker of one good film and two bad ones Larry (or Lana if you believe in that) Wachowski, talking head Gretchen Carlson, actor Chris Pratt, result of inbreeding Prince William, American hero Edward Snowden, and singer Lana Del Ray.

Its also the day Vespasian conquered Jericho during the Great Jewish Revolt. The US Constitution, largely ignored 230 years later, went into effect, Cyrus McCormick patented his reaping machine (insert STEVE SMITH joke here), the first Ferris wheel was unveiled in Chicago, the Pullman strike in Pittsburgh took place, Lou Gehrig retired, Chief Justice Earl Warren resigned, John Hinckley was found not guilty for trying to kill Ronald Reagan, and SpaceShipOne became the first privately-funded craft to achieve spaceflight in 2004…and was then regulated out of business.

I’ve seen better days for birthdays and events, but we got Ray Davies and Ed Snowden! plus the Constitution and Cyrus McCormick’s reaper which are undoubtedly two of the most important days in the history of individual liberty. Yes, I believe the reaper definitely earns that distinction as much as any invention from the last 300 years not related to firearms or personal weaponry. Feel free to debate that in the comments…which we will get to right after…the links!

Let’s see if there’s any discipline for this socialist federal employee pissing away tax dollars to protest while on the clock. Also, bonus points for trying to use the Groucho mask as a disgui…oh, never mind. She’s that ugly.

Trump takes another step libertarians should applaud. Hopefully it’ll result in the elimination of both at some point, but let’s at least enjoy the thought of another federal downsizing.

Uh, hey pal, there’s an easier way to do research on your novel than this. Christ, what an asshole.

This is going to be the next flashpoint in the BLM-Police UOF showdown. I’m gonna reserve judgement until I see the body- or dash cam with audio, but this one is hard armchair quarterback.

Not sure if it was brought up already, but even if it was, its absolutely hilarious. I only hope to God its true and there is video.

This should make everyone happy except the politicians in Cook County. I find a lot of joy in reading that more people are able to move out of that shithole war zone.

The Japanese appear to be taking the Trump-Kim summit at face value.

And as always, you gotta keep your head on a swivel!

I can think of no song I’d rather play on June 21st than this one.

Make the best of today, friends!

The Great “Just Shit in the Potty” fight with the two year old has been joined today. He won the first round, but I’ll get him by the end of the weekend. I don’t understand why shit in a diaper is no problem for me, but shit running out of underwear challenges my gag reflex. IIRC, that passes in about 3 days. Oh well, in six weeks, we’ll be more or less done buying diapers. For at least a year. Mrs. L and I are still negotiating whether we need an odd number of odd children.

And so Trump caved to the pressure, because he is nothing more than a weathervane. Signs executive order ending family separation. The GOP must be sighing with relief that they don’t actually have to do anything about AND don’t have to spend the July campaign recess discussing it.

Here’s a quiet little bombshell — IG admits to House oversight that it appears some FBI witness interview forms may have been edited after the fact. Do the FBI realize quite how hard they’ve fucked themselves if they can no longer bully juries into taking their interview notes as the only record of an interview? Absolutely fucked. Which is great!

This is a ballsy fucking scam, even for Florida Man.

England fans continue to prove that Churchill was about the only thing that stood between them and enthusiastic Nazism.

I went down the rabbit hole chasing videos, and came up with this.