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  • Saturday Morning That Was The Week That Was Links

    It’s been a somewhat eventful week here, and despite the holiday on Wednesday, it seemed like it was ten days. On the bright side, I had a personal triumph this week, breaking an inventive drought and filing a patent application for my first real invention in several years. I got to mock JW for his amateurish attempts at posting Links. Taking advantage of a free trial, we binge-watched Season 4 of our favorite TV show, Silicon Valley. My most senior researcher retired, leaving me with all of his work on top of mine. I got a new computer. I wrote a long introduction to Links with a bunch of shit no-one cares about.

    And speaking of links, here we go.

     

    The nightmare may be upon us. WE MAY ACTUALLY TAKE OUR ARMY OUT OF EUROPE. This is, of course, unthinkable, letting sovereign nations fend for themselves instead of sucking off the American taxpayers’ teat to fund their own welfare states.

    After 18 months of Donald Trump’s “America First” presidency, European leaders meeting with him next week fear the United States may change its traditional course and begin to bring American troops home from the continent.

    OK, we’re probably not going to do that, this is more Trump brain-lint, but fuck, it’s a nice thought. It is amusing to see the “Trump-Is-Hitler” crowd now worrying that Hitler is going to remove his armed forces from their soil…

     

    Now this is stunning. Apparently, the head of the executive branch actually CAN appoint appointed officials, even if his name isn’t “Obama.” There’s no exception for “hobby horse agencies created by Liz Warren.”

    Mulvaney’s appointment set up a partisan showdown over who was the CFPB’s rightful acting director. Democrats and liberal groups previously aligned with CFPB backed English and refused to recognize Mulvaney’s legitimacy. Republicans and financial services industry advocates backed Trump’s authority to supercede (sic) the CFPB’s line of succession.

    As usual, neither Team backs “get rid of the fucking thing entirely.”

     

    The main highway through Chicago is being shut down this morning by a hustler-authoritarian “Father” Michael Pfleger. In theory, this is to bring attention to the fact that Chicago has a lot of shootings, because before Pfleger came along to teach us, no one had any idea. Oh, also, to hustle money. And as the photos in the articles indicate, Pfleger learned from the best, noted antisemite attention and money-whore “Reverend” Jesse Jackson.

    Pfleger said his decision to shut down the Dan Ryan [Expressway] was inspired not only to make a statement about stopping violence, but also by a variety of movements including those pushing for immigration reform and the teacher’s union in Chicago.

    Gee, the union thugs involved in trying to extort more money. >This< is my shocked face. Now it would be wrong of me to think that it would be just irony if someone trapped in the massive traffic jam got pissed off and shot Pfleger. Yes indeed, that would be terribly wrong and I absolutely wouldn’t be laughing my ass off about it. Nossir. What’s amazing on the surface is that the protest is backed by the Chicago mayor and police chief. But not really so amazing- for those of you unfamiliar with Chicago history, the city has no jurisdiction over the expressways because it was taken away by the courts due to a legacy of corruption and bribery by the city cops. So it’s the state cops’ worry. HAH-hah!

     

    Every once in a while, I ask myself, “Can CNN get any more deranged?” Their response to me this time is, “Here, hold mah beer.” This is the kitchen sink of stupid.

    …before a cheering crowd in Montana he poked at Elizabeth Warren for claiming to have Native American ancestry, disparagingly saying that he would send her a test kit to check her DNA: “We will take that little kit and say — but we have to do it gently. It’s the ‘Me Too’ generation, so we have to be very gentle. And we will gently take the kit and slowly toss it, hoping it didn’t hit her and injure her arm. Even though it weighs only 2 ounces.” In the same speech, he again insulted Rep. Waters’ intelligence, spewing the now-familiar mix of racism and misogyny.

    Oh, no, insulted Maxie again! RACISM!

     

    As bad as you thought global warming was, it’s far worse than that. Don’t mind the actual data which show changes in temperature far below previous models’ predictions, here’s a better model which shows that it’s going to get hotter faster and that the older models underestimate warming.

    In their observations, the team saw that there are “amplifying mechanisms,” not well-represented in climate models, which make long-term warming worse than what is forecasted in climate models. “This suggests the carbon budget to avoid 2°C of global warming may be far smaller than estimated, leaving very little margin for error to meet the Paris targets,” said Hubertus Fischer, lead author and University of Bern professor.

    And of course, no good climate science paper is complete without pleas for more and bigger government.

    “This research is a powerful call to act. It tells us that if today’s leaders don’t urgently address our emissions, global warming will bring profound changes to our planet and way of life – not just for this century but well beyond.”

     

    Old Guy Music, yet again. Feel free to ignore it and wallow in your nekulturni love of contemporary pop music. But this is the real deal, a classic, one of the most modally complex songs ever written, and here covered by a superb band. Besides the amazing (((Lee Konitz))), who amazingly is still alive and kicking at age 90, the band features one of my favorite trombonists, Jimmy Knepper.

  • ZARDOZ VS. DEAR ABBY – FAST FOOD WHORE EDITION

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES.

    ZARDOZ WILL PROVIDE THE IMPROVED ADVICE HIS CHOSEN ONES HAVE COME TO EXPECT.  THE BRUTAL DEAR ABBY PROVIDES RIDICULOUS, OVERSIMPLIFIED SOLUTIONS PERPETUATING THE SCOURGE OF BRUTALITY…

    DEAR ABBY: My husband has become very overweight, which has caused his sex drive — as well as his health — to suffer. I worry about him constantly, and I miss the intimacy we used to have. He is aware of how I feel and started trying to eat healthier. He also tries to exercise at least a little bit every day.

    The problem is he constantly falls off the wagon. Sometimes he says he’s too tired to exercise, or he reverts back to his old habits and ends up eating fast food. He always tries again the next day, but he won’t make much progress at the rate he’s going.

    I don’t want to nag him to death, but I do want him around for a long time. What can I say that will make him take this more seriously? — ALL ABOUT HEALTH IN ALABAMA

    DEAR ALL ABOUT HEALTH: I FAIL TO SEE THE PROBLEM. THE WAY ZARDOZ SEES IT, THE PENIS IS EVIL, THE PENIS SHOOTS SEEDS THAT CREATE NEW LIFE. YOUR BRUTAL HUSBAND’S PREFERENCE FOR OVER PROCESSED, GMO LADEN FOOD IS EXPECTED – AS IT IS THE PLAN ZARDOZ PUT IN MOTION TO CLEANSE THE FILTH OF BRUTALS FROM THE EARTH, AS IT ONCE WAS.

    YUMMY FAST FOOD LEADS TO AN INABILITY FOR BRUTAL HUSBANDS TO UTILIZE THE PENIS FOR ITS INTENDED PURPOSE AND ALLOWS BRUTAL HUSBAND TO IGNORE BRUTAL WIFE’S PROPOSITIONS. IT ALSO EASES THE BURDEN ON BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS, AS IT IS EASIER TO CLEANSE THE EARTH OF BRUTALS, WHEN THEIR CARDIO IS SO POOR THEY CANNOT RUN FROM THEIR CLEANSING.

    “That last bunch was easy…they could hardly waddle away from us!”

    ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

    DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are both active duty military. We have been married for three years and have an 18-month-old daughter together. My husband is sweet, handsome and a great father. We got married very quickly, and I think that’s where our problems began.

    He isn’t good at communication or showing affection, which leaves me feeling lonely. This, on top of being separated several times due to the military, makes for a very shaky marriage. I have cheated on him with eight different people since our wedding. The affair I am most ashamed of was when I was pregnant with our daughter.

    I’m currently in counseling, but I’m still unable to curb my cravings. He always forgives me and allows us to continue being married. The problem is, I don’t know if he’s really the one for me. I know cheating is wrong and that I’m not only hurting him, but my daughter as well.

    Should we divorce? Or should we continue trying to be together? We have talked about marriage counseling, but we are separated so much it makes it hard to get into a good groove. — IS HE THE ONE FOR ME?

    DEAR IS HE: LAST I CHECKED YOU KNEW SEPARATION WAS PART OF YOUR MARRIAGE WHEN THE BRUTAL RECRUITER CONVINCED YOU TO SIGN AN ENLISTMENT CONTRACT. ZARDOZ CANNOT DECIDE WHICH OF YOU HE HATES MORE: YOU FOR REPEATED ATTEMPTS AT THE CREATION OF NEW LIFE AS THE BARRACKS BICYCLE, OR YOUR MISERABLE BRUTAL HUSBAND FOR HIS FAILURE TO CLEANSE THE EARTH OF YOUR PRESENCE. ZARDOZ CANNOT EVEN…

    YOU WILL BOTH REPORT AT 0430 WHERE YOU WILL SPEND THE REMAINING DAYS COLLECTING GRAIN FOR THE VORTEX.

    FARM HARDER, MAGGOTS!

    ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • Super-duper, snazzy-jazzy Afternoon Links

    No grid girls any longer, F1? THEY CAN TAKE OUR GRID GIRLS, BUT THEY CAN NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOM!

    This would be the spot where sloopy would wax on (and wax off) about golf or futbol or THE State of Ohio, but dat shit’s boring.  That’s why Zod invented F1

    We’re deep into the season now, just coming off the Austrian GP at the Red Bull Ring.  Short, but fast track and was one of the better races of the year so far.  Why, you ask?  Well, any race that the master clown Lewis Hamilton DNFing (and losing the championship lead) is a good race (Merc teammate Valtteri Bottas, who poled, also DNF’d, so it sucked for him).  But it actually was a fairly interesting race with a good bit of mechanical failures mixing it up.  Mercedes’ double-DNF opened the door for other teams to pick up spots and points.  Wunderkind Max Verstappen (and his Orange Army) picked up a win, Kimi looked to be in his old form with a P2 finish and even tiny, little Haas picking up good points.  My man (and Monoco GP winner) Dani Ric DNF’d, which was a bummer.

    This week we’re at the Queen’s racing circuit, Silverstone, which hopefully will not be a 1-stop processional snoozer.  Not looking good for Verstappen so far, dropping out of FP1 with a gearbox issue and binning it in FP2.  Oh well, post-winner, winner, chicken-dinner buzzkill.

    OK, soccer has its good points. I was in London the other week and did get to experience first-hand a solidly drunken soccer celebration in the streets, after England beat Panama 6-1.  So, I have that going for me.

    To the (mostly Trump-free) links!

    Uh, how in the fuckity fuck can we run out of sand?  WEREN’T YOU LISTENING TO SAM KINISON?  But as in all things, the market delivers.

    PEACE IN OUR TIME

    He blowed up real good.  Never happy to see a private venture go up, literally (LITERALLY) in flames, but thems the breaks, sometimes.

    Newman!

    WUR ALL GINNA DIE!  OK, OK, maybe we’ll die.

    Don’t go chasing waterfalls….

    That’s all for now.  It’s Friday, so stick this up your pipe and smoke it.

  • GlibFit 2.0, Son of Glibfit – Week 8

    Week 8 – In Appreciation of the Grill

    Most healthy diets suck.  Keto is passable for a while, but the lack of potato chips is a limiting factor.  Low fat is just.. Ugh, not thanks. Vegan? Vegetarian? I don’t even want to think about the mental contortions you have to go through to tell yourself “This seitan is really good.  I enjoy seitan. Seitan is a think I wish to eat more of.”

    The problem with diets is that they are all negative.  You can’t eat meat. You can’t eat chips. You can’t eat outside of a particular time window.

    That shit don’t work.  You can’t even not think about a pink elephant.

    So instead, I propose you think about it as an active thing.  You need to get certain things into your body. How will you actively go about doing it.

    On thing your body needs, no matter what the diet, is high-quality protein and fiber.  It would be nice to do that in as few calories as possible, so you can spend your calories on other stuff.  Did you know an entire Hershey has only 210 calories. That’s like 2 tablespoons of olive oil. If you could cut out that oil from your meat prep, you could go and actively have a Hershey’s bar.  Or three ounces of Scotch. Pick your poison.

    Next, you’ve gotta salt the meat
    From the back to the front and make the taste complete
    Not to little, not too much
    With a little finesse, you’ll get the touch!

    Fortunately, like every Red Blooded American, you own a grill.  Or if not GTFO and go get one.

    Grills are great.  They cover your meat with smoke and cook it without having to add any oil.  That means you are saving calories that you can actively go spend on chocolate or Scotch or whatever your poison is.

    There are lots of vegetable that are great on the grill too.  Up here on Ice Station Hoth, we only get about 19 days of nice weather a year, but I spend as many as possible with as much on the grill as possible.

    Meats a no brainer, but meat should grill next to bait.  That is, grilled vegetables. Onions, peppers, asparagus, zucchini, tomatoes.  Hell, it’s the summer. Get whatevers cheap and throw it on.

    And yeah, it was just one of those holidays where everyone grills and tries to remember what patriotic thing we are supposed to care about that day.  But that’s not why I love my grill. I love my grill for the Tuesday night where I come home from a long, stressful day at work and I need an excuse to stand around and not be bothered by my wife or kids for a half hour.  So I can come home, throw some meat on the grill, and stand around and decompress for a bit while the grill does its magic.

    Bonus 1 week challenge

    Put something on the grill that never walked on two our four feet.

  • The Hat and The Hair: Episode 85

    Trump Interviews 4 Supreme Court Prospects in Rush to Name Replacement

    “OK, OK,” Donald said, “Let’s get started.” He waved his guests to the seven chairs lined up in front of the Oval Office desk.

    “Brett, you take that first chair, and then Amy, then Raymond–I’m gonna call you Ray-Ray!–, then Ameel…”

    “Amul, Mr. President,” Amul said.

    “A mule?” Donald asked.

    “Amul, sir,” Amul said again.

    “OK, OK, sure. You just sit there, Apu,” Donald said. “THERE,” he repeated, pointing at the chair. “CHAIR,” he said, patting the seat of it until Amul moved to sit down.

    “Mr. President…” Amul began.

    “Please save your questions until the end of the ride,” Donald said.

    The four nominees sat on the small chairs, looking uncomfortable and a little frightened.

    “OK, OK,” Donald said, slapping his hands together loudly and rubbing them, “Let’s get started.” He pulled MAGA Prime from his suit jacket pocket and put him on Brett before the man could pull away.

    “Sir?” Brett said, reaching up to touch the hat.

    “No, no, leave it on,” Donald said. He watched the hat intently.

    “Hufflepuff,” the hat intoned.

    “Oh, my fucking God,” the hair said. “Will you please take this seriously?”

    “Hufflepuff?” Donald asked.

    “Hufflepuff?” Brett replied.

    “Be serious, I need these questions answered,” Donald admonished the hat.

    “Sir, are, you, uh, talking to me?” Brett asked.

    “I don’t even need to be put on the others,” the hat said solemnly. “They are all Hufflepuff. Totes gay.”

    The hair sighed.

    “Super, super gay. So gay,” the hat said.

    “Brett,” Donald said, ignoring the hat, “What I want to know is: Can I invade Venezuela?”

    “Sir?”

    “Venezuela, Brett. It’s a country. South of here, I hear. Fulla commies. Big, yuge commies. Can I invade it?”

    “Well, sir, as you know The War Powers Act gives the President latitude during military crises.”

    “Not the military, Brett. Me. Me. Can I invade Venezuela? Like, do you think I could take them?”

    “Mr. President?”

    Donald made a loud buzzing noise. “ENH! Too late, Brett. Decisiveness, Brett. That’s what I want in a Supreme Court judge. You should know the answer before the question is even asked.”

    The hat chuckled as Donald snatched him off of Brett’s head.

    “Here, Amy,” Donald said, handing her the hat. “Put him on.”

    “Him, sir?” Amy asked, looking dubiously at the worn and filthy hat.

    “It. Whatever. The hat. Put on the hat.”

    “I’M ALL MAN!” the hat roared.

    “Quiet!” the hair hissed.

    Amy perched the hat on her head gingerly. Donald grabbed the bill and pulled it down on her head, crushing her hair. He leaned in toward Amy.

    “You put it all the way on, Amy,” he said and took a slow, deep sniff of her neck. His shaking hands strayed toward her breasts, but the hair pinched his ear and Donald turned away before he could cup them.

    The hat purred.

    Donald spun on his heel when he was a few feet away and pointed at Amy: “Kim Jong-Un… HOT OR NOT?!?”

    “Not!” Amy said in a startled voice.

    “Disappointing,” Donald said. “Fast, but disappointing.” He held out his hand and Amy gave MAGA Prime back to him.

    “Ray-Ray! My man,” Donald said. Raymond took the hat eagerly and put it on.

    “I’m ready, Mr. President,” he said.

    Donald let his face go very serious and asked, “What do you think about LeBron moving to the Lakers?”

    “I think the Lakers are an excellent team,” Raymond said immediately. “And I think LA is a great city…”

    Donald leaned forward and narrowed his eyes.

    “But,” Raymond said carefully, “LeBron should have gone to the Knicks.”

    A wide-smiled broke on Donald’s face.

    “GO KNICKS!” Raymond said loudly.

    “You’re OK, Ray-Ray. Just great. Tremendous,” Donald said. Raymond took off MAGA Prime and handed him back.

    “OK, Habib,” Donald said, “It’s your turn.”

    “Amul,” Amul said.

    “OK, sure,” Donald said, holding out the hat.

    Amul took the hat and looked at it for a moment. The hat growled.

    “Shush,” the hair said.

    Amul scraped a fingernail over one of the many stains on the hat and looked up at Donald.

    Donald said, “I guess you can just hold it.”

    “Yes, Mr. President,” Amul replied, a deep frown on his face.

    “Detained immigrant children!” Donald yelled.

    “The issue is very complex…” Amul began.

    “HOT OR NOT?!?!” Donald asked.

    “Uh, I, uh, sir, I… Not. Definitely not.”

    “Kind of slow there, Alan. Something you want to tell us?” Donald asked.

    “Amul, sir.”

    “I’m not hearing a denial…” the hat said in a sing-song voice. Amul dropped the hat in shock and stared at it on the floor with growing horror.

    “I think I heard…” Amul said.

    “Donald!” the hair said.

    “I, uh, throw my voice,” Donald said. Amul looked from the hat to Donald and back again.

    “I’m really good at it,“ Donald continued. “Great, in fact. The best. I’m the best ventriloquist ever.” He bent awkwardly and picked the hat up off the carpet.

    “Hey, hat,” Donald said, perching MAGA Prime on his fist.

    “Hey, Donald,” Donald said out of the side of his mouth in a strained, high voice.

    “Help him,” the hair whispered to the hat.

    “So, uh, how you doing hat?” Donald asked.

    The hat said nothing.

    “Goddammit,” the hair muttered.

    “I’m great, Donald,” Donald said, bouncing the hat up and down. “I love helping you run the country!” He twisted his wrist to make the hat look at the Supreme Court hopefuls.

    A very, very long minute passed.

    “Make America Great Again!” Donald squawked out of the side of his mouth.

     

    Trump narrows Supreme Court short list, top 3 contenders emerge

  • Friday Morning Links

    So I got that going for me. Which is nice.

    Let’s do historical events first, shall we?  On this date, Stamford Raffles, a dude with an awesome name and also the founder of Singapore, was born. As was Tsar Nicholas I, Harry Ford Sinclair (of Teapot Dome infamy), artist Marc Chagall, eyebrow aficionado Frida Kahlo, astrology fan Nancy Reagan, early adopter of Rock N Roll Bill Haley, TV host and exec Merv Griffin, hotelier Conrad Hilton Jr, the Dalai Lama himself (Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking.), Hollywood treasure Ned Beatty, former president George W Bush, underrated actor Sylvester Stallone, rapper and businessman 50 Cent, comedian and (near) midget Kevin Hart, and loving wife and also a (near) midget Banjos. Happy birthday, sweetie!

    Its also the day Francis Drake curb-stomped the Portuguese Navy, Captain Kidd was captured, Louis Pasteur successfully tested anti-rabies vaccine, T.E. Lawrence captured Aqaba from the Turks,  MLB held its first all-star game, Patton landed in France, Abbott and Costello’s “Naughty Nineties” was released, the AK-47 went into production in Russia, Jefferson Airplane was formed, “Forrest Gump” hit theaters, and California passed the nation’s first “no-fault” divorce law.

    Some fun baseball games yesterday. Winners were: Washington, Texas, Milwaukee, the MINNESOOOOOOOOODA TWIIIIIINS, San Diego, Seattle, St Louis and the defending World Champion Houston Astros walked-off the White Sox as Justin Verlander got another no decision.

    Are you serious? Get up, pussy!

    Serena and Federer both in action today at Wimbledon.  And in the World Cup, France and Uruguay, arguably two fo the more enjoyable teams to watch this year, play at 9 am and Belgium-Brazil play at 1 to see who rolls their way into the semis. Dios Mio, man.  My picks: France and Belgium.

    That’s it for sports ball. Now time for…the links!

    This is not surprising news at all, if you merely look at the overall numbers. Reading into the details, however, it looks like the issue is considerably more important to GOP voters than Dems, who still place healthcare at the top of their list. What is surprising is that only 7% of Team Blue members polled place immigration as the most important issue yet they’ve got the news media banging that drum nonstop.  Look for the media to start talking about how evil anything shy of single-payer is as we get closer to November.  In fact, look for it today on Twitter as Journolist 2.0 members get their marching orders.

    Dude, how much did that drink cost?

    Anthony Bourdain was shockingly worth just $1.2M when he died.  That number either indicates that he wasn’t very good at negotiating contracts, he had someone ripping him off or he had a “problem” that was costing him a shitload of money.

    Trump trolls Masshole Warren. Warren goes on warpath with wild wesponse.

    Men get what was coming to them as the violate property rights.  B&E is pretty stupid. B&E into an area heavily populated with lions is almost as dumb as shooting a mortar off your head. Adios, dumbasses.

    Hey dumbass, just because you think they’re cute and cuddly now doesn’t mean they’re not filthy, disease-ridden vermin.  What a maroon!

    Trump says “3 or 2” judges in play, but media thinks it will be Kavanaugh for the Supreme Court. Which means it will be Barrett or Kethledge. My money is on Kethledge, since all of the Team Blue (and media) focus have been on the “negatives” of Barrett and Kavanaugh, which basically amount to them being literalists. We’ll know Monday at 8 pm.

    A pair of grifters in their natural habitat: a press conference.

    This seems like a reasonable use of taxpayer dollars, right? I’m sure he couldn’t give two shits even if it is a colossal waste.

    If you’re gonna be a douchebag and assault a kid just because you don’t like his hat, then make sure its not on video, dumbass. Also, you’re so tough for taking on a kid, asshole. And dropping a n-bomb on him too! That’s gonna resonate well with the griefer crowd, I bet.

    Well that’s it for the links.  Tough call on the song, but this is what I ended up with.

    Happy birthday, sweetie. And have a great end of the week and weekend, the rest of you.

  • “THE STEVE SMITH SANCTION” – Vondelpark or Tante Zaan’s?

    Oh yeah… I think I am on to something. Got an anonymous tip….the RAPESQUATCH was near Vondelpark alright. But he was far too clever to simply camp out there. No, word was he was staying at a “pension” near the park. “Tante Zaan’s” – Auntie Zaan’s place, to be specific.  Time for a little recon…

    Urban Rapesquatch?
    Tante Zaan’s…what are you hiding.

    Yeah, right above the shops. Typical old Amsterdam arrangement. Store on the first floor, that paid rent…apartments or boarders above.  Well, Airbnb or Booking,com have taken over arranging the stays…OK Auntie, time for me to see what is hiding upstairs.

    Dang… not one sign of STEVE SMITH. I am starting to get the feeling I am getting played here. Time to swing by the park…maybe I gave MR. RAPESQUATCH too much credit.

    MADE PARK, NOT RAPE.
    That is most certainly NOT STEVE SMITH.

    Huh. No flashing lights…no people fleeing. So nothing obviously STEVE SMITHIAN…yet. I need to go back and think about this some more.

    TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR “THE STEVE SMITH SANCTION – A canal?! Reijner whowhat now?”

  • Thursday Afternoon Links

    Happy Fifth of July! To celebrate, I think I’ll drink a fifth of something tonight. Probably Early Times in honor of my wife’s stepfather. He passed quietly Tuesday with his family having made their good-byes. Someone else will step in tomorrow afternoon, as I have a memorial service to attend. I don’t want to hear any “that sucks!” or “sorry!” in the comments, go hug someone you love or at least send them a text. I’m glad to have known him and he’s far more comfortable today than he was Monday when last I shared. We’ll take care of my mother-in-law as she rebuilds her life. If you’re inclined to raise a glass, it’s one jigger of whiskey and two of coke on the rocks.

    Apparently, Florida Man needs to just redneck up and do the fireworks himself in my neck of the woods. From my spot on one of the highest hills in Pinellas County (approximately 65ft above sea level), I was able to watch my neighbor’s fairly awesome display, as well as see two or three other, more professional fireworks shows. And everyone was done by 10:00. Except the random Florida Man, but he was pretty quiet.

    The Fifth Circuit picks a fight with Clarence Thomas. The reporting is so terribly opinionated its hard to tell, but the 5th Circuit did find the strip search of 22 girls unreasonable. Perhaps if they had identified a single suspect? Any Constitutional scholars want to weigh in?

    Hey, how could a Minstrel Show by woke folk be so horribly misunderstood?

    Time to start watching for Cones of Probability again? I would say it’s my 3rd favorite season behind “College Football” and “natives with bikinis retake the beaches”.

    Scientist tries to heed 2001’s warning, wants to bypass Europa for another moon.

    Buncha kids playing stuff that could be mid-70s… or mid-90s.

  • 98 Mauser Sporting Rifles

    Mauser-Werke, Oberdorf, Germany

    The 98 Mauser Sporting Rifle

    The fame of the 98 Mauser action comes not only from its utility in military applications – where in its many incarnations it is without peer among military bolt guns – but also in its ability to cross over into being a basis for a fine custom sporting rifle.  Some of the greatest works of art in steel and wood to come out of the shops of fine rifle artisans are based on Mauser actions, with the 98 being the frontrunner.

    There are, however, a number of cautions and important considerations to take into account when gunsmithing the Mauser action.

    Pre-98 actions.

    M94 Swede sporter

    One of the most important safety notes involves the pre-98 actions.  Since this is a forum primarily for the 98, the pre-98s are somewhat off-topic, but the following safety tip is crucial:  Pre-98 actions, including the 91 Argentine, 93-95 Spanish, and 94-96 Swede actions, lack sufficient strength to be rebarreled for most modern sporting calibers.  These actions should only be rebarreled for cartridges developing a chamber pressure of 40.000 psi or less.  The difference between these actions and the 98 series is not metallurgical so much as structural – an excellent illustration and text can be found in Kuhnhausen’s Shop Manual for the Mauser[i].  It is best to stick with the cartridges for which these arms were originally chambered.

    98 Action Types

    The 98 actions, in all their variations, are a somewhat different and more complicated story.

    There are several different variations of the basic Model 98 action design; these can be loosely lumped into three categories.  These are the large ring standard 98, which the GEW98 and k98k actions are included in; the small ring 98 actions, to include the German 98az, G33/40, and the M1910 Mexican rifles; and the large ring “intermediate” actions, typified by the Yugo vz24.  Of course, thousands of minor variations exist, and addressing all those variations would be impossible in the space allowable here, so let’s stick to the standard large ring 98s, including the WWII German 98k actions.  For a complete description of every make, model and variation, I recommend picking up a copy of Ludwig Olson’s “Mauser Bolt Rifles,” pretty much the Bible for Mauser fans.

    The Bible for Mauser nuts.

    The 98k is, as mentioned previously, a standard large ring 98 action, (although some 98k pattern rifles were converted from small ring 98az carbines[ii]) and as such is one of the more versatile for customization.  Other common examples of the standard large ring 98 include the WWI GEW98, the 1908 Brazilian contract, built by Deutsche Waffen und Munitionsfabriken (DWM); the 1909 Argentine, also built by DWM; and the M1912 Mexican, built by Waffenfabrik Steyr.

    Metallurgy

    The military 98 Mauser actions differ quite a bit, metallurgically, from modern sporting rifle actions.

    To clarify a couple of terms; there are basically two manners in which a rifle receiver can fail.  The first is a “yield failure,” where the receiver ring may be deformed or “ballooned;” this type of failure frequently results in escaped gas and bits of cartridge case.

    The second type of action failure is an “ultimate failure” sometimes referred to as a “catastrophic failure.” This is where the action basically explodes, and results in chunks of receiver flying all over the place, to include imbedding themselves in the shooter’s face and other vital regions.

    Modern sporting actions (to include the newer FN and Zastava Mausers) are made from hard, high-carbon steel, and are homogenous throughout.  Older military Mausers are made from softer, low-carbon steel that is heat treated or “case hardened” resulting in a fairly soft receiver with a hard shell or “case.”

    The result of this type of construction is a receiver with lower yield strength than a modern gun, but a higher ultimate strength.

    What makes the large ring 98 action capable of handling higher pressures than the pre-98s is the design of the receiver ring.  The large ring 98 receiver ring measures 1.41” in diameter as opposed to the pre-98s 1.3”; also, the 98 action has a longer thread-bearing surface, improved torque bearing surfaces, and a large reinforcing web inside the receiver ring.

    It is generally considered that the standard large ring 98 action is capable of handling most modern standard-length sporting cartridges.[iii]

    Gunsmithing the 98 Mauser

    Now I’ll admit that I’ve never based a custom sporter on a WWII 98k action – because I’ve never found an “action grade” gun or disembodied 98k action in a condition suitable for “sporterizing.”  I have, however, used a variety of Mauser actions in building custom rifles, including a number of standard large ring 98s.

    It is somewhat sacrilegious to cut up an original collectible military rifle for customizing, and I’ve had a few originals in the rack at various times myself.  So, I try to buy disembodied actions where I can.  I will also scour gun shows, pawnshops, and estate sales for “action grade” guns – rifles that have already been modified to some extent, making them fair game for gunsmithing.

    From Olson – a disassembled 98 Mauser bolt

    To convert the military 98 action to “sporter” configuration involves four basic steps: 1) reforging or replacing the military bolt handle with one that will clear a low mounted scope; 2) install a low-swing or side-swing safety, again to clear the scope; 3) drill and tap for the scope mounts themselves; and 4) restocking.  Many excellent Mauser sporters have been turned out with the original barrel but given the condition of many surplus guns currently finding their way into the States, rebarreling sometimes becomes a necessity.

    With a bit of luck, you can find a Mauser action or barreled action with the gunsmithing work already done.

    A good example would be a rifle I built for my own use elk hunting.  I’ve described Thunder Speaker here before; it is a 1908 Brazilian contract action, built by DWM, chambered for the .338 Winchester Magnum.  My original intent was to use one of the large ring ’98 actions I had in the shop, fit a new barrel, stock, bolt handle, etc., which would have entailed no small expense.  The expense of this sort of work can easily outrun the cost of a brand-spanking-new Remington 700 or Winchester 70.

    In my case, fate chose to intervene at the August 1996 Tanner Gun Show in Denver, back when once could still make good deals in Colorado gun shows.

    While sitting at my table, trying in vain to part with a few of my surplus stuff, a gentleman walked by with a rifle slung over his shoulder, the sign on it reading: “Mauser rifle, .338 Win Mag.”

    Like a trout faced with a well-placed dry fly, I rose to the bait.

    The rifle was the aforementioned 1908 Brazilian (large ring 98) action, with a teardrop bolt handle, Buehler safety and Weaver bases. The 26″ Douglas heavy sporter contour barrel was Mag-Na-Ported, a plus when you are talking about .338 Mag recoil levels.

    Since the barreled action was already in good shape, I made few changes – I just replaced the military two-stage trigger with a Bold modular, added a Bell & Carlson Kevlar stock and a Simmons Aetec 2.5-10X scope on Redfield bases and rings, which I prefer to the Weaver design on rifles with stout recoil.  I loaded up some ammo with W-W brass and 225-grain Barnes X boattails.

    The first trip to the range was enlightening.  Between the Mag-Na-Porting, and the straight-line design of the Bell & Carlson stock, the .338 didn’t seem to have any more perceived recoil than a lightweight .308.  Very pleasant to shoot; I ran through all 20 rounds I had loaded before I realized it.  Even more pleasant were the results on the other end of the lane; groups averaged about 1 1/4″, with the largest going just over 2″.  The Simmons Aetec scope proved superb, very bright and clear.

    From Olson – An FN 98 Mauser action

    Cost vs. Benefit

    When the project was completed, I had a high quality .338 Win Mag sporter with a total investment of about $500 – pretty much what I’d have paid for a new commercial gun in 1996, without the scope, dies or accessories.

    Thunder Speaker is a pretty good example of the kind of “custom” work that any reasonably capable gun crank can do by him or herself – no rebarreling or action modification involved, as that work was already done.  These kinds of project guns are readily available, often at bargain prices.  I’ve since spent a little bit more to have a Winchester-style side-swing safety mounted, as the Buehler was too close to the scope objective when set to Safe.

    Cost isn’t all that the true gun crank considers, however, and the chance to take game or gather ooh’s and aah’s at the range with a unique sporting arm of one’s own making, will often outweigh mere financial concerns.  I know it does for me.

    Inspecting the 98 action

    When considering an action for extensive gunsmithing, the prospective custom Waffenmeister should inspect the following areas closely:

    • The bolt face should be clean and free of pitting and erosion.
    • The extractor should fit tightly and function correctly with a dummy cartridge of the appropriate caliber.
    • The locking lugs should be clean, rust-free, and show minimal wear.
    • Cocking piece/sear engagement should function smoothly and flawlessly – ditto for the safety.
    • Ejector box should have good spring tension and function freely.
    • If the original barrel is to be used, the bore should be clean and free of rust and pitting.
    • Visually inspect the entire action for rust and/or pitting. I’ve seen a few actions for sale that were pitted badly enough to be potentially dangerous.
    • If the action has been drilled and tapped for scope mounts, ensure the screw holes are not in the area of the barrel threads or reinforcing web.

    The action should also pass the following standard function check.

    • Close the bolt and apply the safety.
    • Pull the trigger. Nothing should happen.
    • Without operating the bolt, turn safety to “fire.” The sear should remain engaged.  If the striker falls when the safety is disengaged, you have a serious safety problem.
    • If the sear remained properly engaged in Step 3, pull the trigger. The striker should fall normally.  The trigger pull should not be gritty or stiff.

    If the action passes all of these tests, it should be a good candidate for your custom project.

    Gunsmithing Do’s and Don’ts.

    Do’s:

    • Have your action or barreled action inspected by a professional gunsmith prior to any customizing. If you are using the barrel already on the gun, the inspection should include headspacing.
    • When rebarreling, invest in a quality barrel. The barrel is the heart of a rifle, and a quality tube from Douglas, Shilen or ER Shaw will be worth the extra bucks.
    • True action and bolt faces and lap locking lugs. This process evens bearing surfaces and improves inherent accuracy.
    • Use an aftermarket modular trigger if desired. I’ve had excellent results from Timney, Bold and Dayton Traister triggers.  Keplinger makes a very good single-set trigger for the 98 Mauser, which does require professional installation.

    Don’t:

    • Open the feed ramp to allow feeding of .300/.375 H&H, or full-length magnum cartridges. This removes metal from the area immediately behind the lower locking lug – not a good practice.[iv]
    • Trust chamber stamps on used guns. A Cerrosafe chamber mold should be done on any and all used guns.
    • Fire any rifle with an improperly functioning safety mechanism.
    • Fire any 7.9x57mm Mauser manufactured prior to 1905 without first miking the barrel. A few J-bore (.311) guns are still extant – and may generate dangerous pressures if fired with S-bore (.323) cartridges.

    And finally – please – don’t cut up or modify an original collectible!  There are ample action grade guns around, and also ample collectors who will be willing to take your original off your hands.

    The 21st Century Mauser

    It’s often said “the more things change, the more they stay the same,” and this certainly applies to rifle design – given Winchester’s and other gunmakers run back to the original controlled feed design of the 98 Mauser.  Paul Mauser’s M98 has set the standard by which all other bolt action rifles are measured for 120 years now.  I’m confident that it will continue to be the gold standard of bolt guns well into this century.

    [i] “The Mauser M91 Through M98 Bolt Actions – A Shop Manual.”  Kuhnhausen, Jerry, 1991, VSP Publishers, pg. 160

    [ii] “Mauser Bolt Rifles”  Olson, Ludwig, 1976, F. Brownell & Son, pg. 118

    [iii] Kuhnhausen, pg. 86

    [iv] Ibid., pg. 86.

  • Thursday Morning Links

    I hope y’all had a nice Fourth of July. It rained here pretty much the entire day and downtown flooded, as usual. But today looks a little better.

    ESPN showed how much they care about their readership when they turned off comments without any explanation a couple days ago.  So now I think I’ll seek out my basic sports (scores and quick headlines) somewhere else.  Let me know in the comments where I should go. (Note: I do not want to go somewhere where I have to scroll for a mile to get past the hundred videos they have of their talking heads yammering on about a trade deal, new shoe release, etc before getting to the actual game scores and recaps.) And on that note, Boston, the Yankees, Cubs, Indians, Dodgers, Cardinals, Astros, Marlins, Phillies, Athletics, Angels, Brewers, Reds (they’re on fire!), Mets, and Rockies won. Wimbledon has a few good matches today. I recommend tuning in if you can.  No soccer until tomorrow.

    Barnum employees

    If you were born on this date, you share the day with such famous and infamous folks as: Mary Walcott (accuser at Salem witch trials and herself probably a witch), Admiral David Farragut (of “damn the torpedoes!” fame), genius entrepreneur P.T. Barnum, inventor of tree-ring dating A.E. Douglass, football coach John McKay, musician Robbie Robertson, rocker Huey Lewis, pitcher Goose Gossage, YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, Wu-Tang member RZA, (too) skinny person Eva Green, and Dolly The Sheep.

    Its also the day Newton’s Principia was published, the USA beat the Limeys and Canadians at Chippewa, Ontario (and should have kept the place as a trophy), FDR signed the NLRA (like a good socialist), the famous tank Battle of Kursk began, Ian Fleming graduated from spy school, the bikini made its debut in Paris, Israel passed the “Law Of Return”, William Shockley invented the junction transistor, that creator of billionaires Robert Mugabe was re-elected and “Seinfeld” debuted on NBC.

    Hope that suffices for needless stuff.  Now we can do…the links!

    Coming soon to NYC: rape workers peacekeepers!

    Rather than simply allowing the people to arm and defend themselves, New York City will be rolling out buses of “peacekeepers” in the wake of spreading violence in the city. I guess personal responsibility truly is dead in that town.

    That brave person who scaled the Statue Of Liberty most likely has a screw loose and an unhealthy obsession with Donald Trump. Shocking, I know.

    Angela Merkel warns of a worldwide financial crisis if Trump presses NATO. You know, we should stop this insanity and go ahead and pull all of our troops out of Germany, Italy and elsewhere in Europe if their nations don’t want to pay the required percentage of their economy to the organization.  Its high time they paid their fair share as outlined in the charter rather than keep letting us piss our money away defending their lazy asses.  Same goes for the United Nations.

    Can’t it be both, hippie?

    Well, at least these yo-yos are smart enough to do this in Oakland instead of a Texas city.  Christ, what a bunch of assholes.

    Michael Avenetti eyes White House. He says he will run if there is no other candidate “that has a real chance of beating” Trump.  Well, he should start getting those PACs together, because unless the entire nation takes socialist crazy pills and buys their bullshit, I don’t see the Dems coming back to the political center.

    Orlando group pushes for more “diversity” in medical marijuana business. They go into the barriers to entry and the steep startup costs including licensing fees and compliance costs.  Unfortunately it never occurs to any of these people that they are essentially asking the government for handouts rather than calling for free market solutions to a problem created by the government themselves.  Maybe they’ll catch it the next time it flies by, but I doubt it.

    Kim Dotcom has lost his appeal and will be extradited to the United States. His crime: creating a website that people used freely to conduct their own business he knew nothing about. As a side note, he never visited or resided in the United States and his business was never incorporated there. How’s that for justice?

    I’m not saying it was aliens, but it was…holy shit, it was fireflies!

    I’ll just copy this headline word for word: Bath salts land two in jail for shooting at ‘alien lasers’ that were really fireflies, police say  Ok then!

    Local death penalty trial resumes in Houston in “honor killings” case. I know there are some anti-death penalty people here, but I ain’t one of them. I hope they cook that fucker after he’s found guilty.

    I went deeper in the catalog than most of you would have expected. Hope you enjoy.

    Give em hell, friends!