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  • Lessons from a Ghost Forest, aka: Finding Beauty Among Death

    Preamble

    I recently returned from the Undisclosed Location at the Rio Grande National Forest in the San Juan Mountains of Southwestern Colorado. Beginning in approximately 2002, a spruce beetle (Dendroctonus rufipennis) epidemic has been spreading across this region, peaking in 2014 but still going on to this day. For those not familiar, the primary pests of slow-growing mountain conifers are bark beetles; spruce, fir and pine all have closely related species of this pest that will attack. About the size of a pencil lead, these little buggers are naturally occurring in all mixed conifer forests at varying background levels. They survive by boring into tree bark where they then lay their eggs. The larva hatch and grow within the tree, typically taking two years before reaching maturity and going out on their own to a new tree.

    Spruce Beetles

    As the larva mature, they burrow around within the tree creating a “gallery”. The larva, along with the adult beetles, disrupt the flow of xylem and phloem in the tree. The trees do have natural defenses against the beetles and a tree that is attacked does not always die. The tree will usually push sap through the gallery to try and push out enough of the invaders so that their activity is not fatal. However, every so often, conditions become favorable for a population explosion of the pests. They’ll multiply like crazy, finding abundant resources and will go on a mass killing spree until they run out of food. Before you know it, you have a ghost forest.

    Rio Grande National “Forest”

    For the past 20ish years, the mean temperature in the Southern Rockies has been about 2F higher than historic averages. This gets environuts’ panties in a twist even though mean temperature is meaningless when it comes to the beetles, except indirectly in how it relates to drought (don’t worry, this is not going to turn into a rant against “climate change”, though warm winters are part of the issue). One of the negative feedbacks against beetle epidemics is transient extremely low temperatures. If the temperature drops to -40F for a continuous 24-hour period, the beetles will die and the invasion will end. Temperatures that low are not unusual in the Rockies, but it is unusual for it to stay that low for that long. The other factors important to an outbreak are drought and overall tree health. Drought is also not uncommon in this part of the country; in fact it’s been part and parcel of life in the American Mountain West since long before the alphabet soup networks even existed, let alone took notice of it in service to their agenda. More precipitation provides more resources for the trees to defend themselves.

    None of that matters though if the forest is overcrowded, creating a high median tree age and fierce competition for resources. All of that increases tree stress and makes them much more susceptible to attack. Decades and decades of fire suppression and forest mismanagement in the West has created extreme overcrowding in many of the forests. Forest fires also get environuts’ panties in a twist, but they, in their hubris and stupidity, fail to understand that small fires thin out and renew forests. By suppressing fire completely (which has been policy for 100 years) the forest gets beyond crowded, making a catastrophic fire that completely sterilizes the landscape much more likely. If you keep suppressing so that even such a catastrophic fire doesn’t happen, the beetles move in; which leads me to the first lesson of the ghost forest.

    Human Hubris is Boundless

    Humans’ relationship with Nature has changed significantly since the Industrial Revolution. In a primarily agricultural society, people view Nature with fearful awe; it is either a life-giving force that helps your crops grow and provides for you, or it is a cruel puppeteer starving and torturing you. As humans have become more urbanized and less connected to this dichotomy, they have begun to view Nature through rose-colored glasses and idealize it as a long-suffering Mother ruined by the sinfulness of human existence (see also: watermelon cult of Gaia). In our hubris, we began thinking we could save Nature from our nefarious influence and started meddling. Admittedly, some of this has resulted in positive outcomes and we have cleaner air and water as a result. But most of the time, when we try to manipulate Nature, even with noble and pure motives, we just fuck things up worse once Nature reasserts itself.

    When looking at the ghost forest around the Undisclosed Location, I’m filled with sadness at the destruction, but I also laugh at Nature smacking down our forestry “experts” for trying to circumvent its will. The trees must die off; whether that be through fire or through disease, Nature will find a way no matter how much we try to fuck with it. Which segues to lesson two.

    Nature is Right and We’re Wrong

    The miraculous thing about this process is that, not only is it necessary, it’s healthy. To us, forests are immovable, unchanging monoliths. Especially in coniferous forests, the trees grow so slowly and live so long that in our limited view, we think that they will continue in their present form perpetually. Therefore, again in our hubris, we believe that preserving that form at all costs is the right thing to do and that we are actually helping Nature. We’re wrong. The forest is a living organism just as much as a human city. There are cycles of birth, death and rebirth happening all the time, even if it’s on a timescale too long for an individual human to appreciate. Pioneer species move in, thrive, die off and make way for new species over hundreds of years. After all, trees, just like us, don’t live forever, but we like to think they do. Understanding that something so huge, ancient and apparently implacable as a 500-year-old, 150-foot-tall Engelmann spruce is mortal brings our own fleeting mortality into stark relief. Protecting the forest really means protecting ourselves from the inevitability of Death.

    The beauty of this system, however, is that the beetles only attack trees over a certain trunk diameter, leaving the babies (“only” 30 or 40 years old) unharmed. Unhobbled by competition for resources from their elders, and with new, abundant access to sunlight, the babies have explosive new growth; up to a foot per year in some cases (insanely fast for high altitude conifers). Furthermore, the aforementioned abundant sunlight activates dormant underground complexes of aspen (which can’t grow without it) to start sending up shoots. Aspen is the weed of the tree world and will grow like a plague if given the chance. Soon (only 10 or 20 years) the forest will be filled with aspen and the baby spruce will slow down again (but not die). If you were able to peer down to the forest floor of the picture above, you’d see an explosion of life restarting the endless struggle of existence. Which leads me to the final lesson from the ghost forest.

    The Two Most Important Survival Qualities are Resilience and Determination

    The forest itself is incredibly resilient. It bounces back amazingly quickly from a beetle Holocaust, fire or even human-caused catastrophes like clear-cutting. But I speak now not of the overall resilience and health of the forest as amazing as it is, but of individual trees. Walking through the ghost forest, very occasionally, maybe 1 in 500 trees, you’ll see a tall, noble, ancient tree that stood its ground and survived the onslaught. You’ll see the sawdust from the beetles at the base and the holes made as they emerged. You’ll see the “pitch out” where the tree tried to flush out the invaders with sap. Somehow, while all its peers were succumbing to the epidemic, it stood tall and survived. How? Why? Was it pure luck? Probably. But I like to think that somewhere deep down in its non-sentient existence, it just wouldn’t give up. Its determination to survive and resilience in the aftermath mean it stands alone and earns the privilege of life. Even if that’s overly romantic anthropomorphizing, I still think it’s a very valuable lesson.

    Coda

    All susceptible trees around the Undisclosed Location died in 2010. The beetles have moved on and will continue moving on until they run out of food and eventually they too die. In the intervening years, it has been amazing to watch the forest begin the long process of regeneration. Already in places that just five years ago were bare, aspen are six feet tall. The ghosts of the past still haunt the forest, and will likely continue to stand for another decade or two before falling down and returning their life essence to the ground from which they sprang. Someday, in a couple hundred years, the baby spruce that survived this plague will have grown beyond the aspen, blocking out the sun and thirstily drinking up all the resources. The aspen will then die or go dormant in the ground, waiting for the next unspeakable massacre; just as we, along with who knows how many subsequent generations, will be dead. And so it goes.

    Boobs

     

  • Thursday Morning Links

    Literally no sports yesterday. Although bring on this side of the Atlantic means we’ve got some early rounds in at Carnoustie.  Kevin Kisner is ahead (-5) as I type this, with the majority of the big names yet to tee off.  I’m going with Tommy Fleetwood this week, although I would really like to see Jordan Spieth (who is -2 through 8 right now) repeat or see Rickie Fowler finally win a major.   And that’s all that’s going on.  Baseball returns with…one game today. That’s it, one freaking game?  ::sigh::  OK, that’s fine by me. I’ll give a full update on golf tomorrow then.

    Today’s birthdays include one of the greatest men in the history of gender, racial or ability-equality: Samuel Colt. Sharing it with this great man are nutcase Lizzie Borden, animator Max Fleisher, bluesman Buster Benton, bassist Alan Gorrie, tennis great Ilie Nastase, guitar-player and holder of PhD in Astrophysics Brian May, another guitarist Allen Collins, Nerd Anthony Edwards and actor Benedict Cumberbatch.

    Tom & Jerry proving they appeal to all cultures.

    Its also the day the Circus Maximus caught fire while Nero kept fiddling, Lady Jane Grey was deposed, Johannes Kepler developed his theory for a geometrical basis of the universe, 5 people were hanged for witchcraft in Salem, Massachusetts Colony, Doc Holliday notches up his first kill, the first Tour de France kicked off, Cy Young got his 500th win, Ton & Jerry make their debut in “The Midnight Snack”, Apollo 11 goes into lunar orbit, Deep Purple disbanded, and piece of human garbage Pete Rose was sentenced to 5 months for tax evasion.

    That’s it. Now…the links!

    Maybe New York ought to rethink their idiotic gun laws. Nah, I’m sure her having the ability to defend herself wouldn’t have kept this from happening.

    Trump administration is apparently convinced that words actually have meaning. Although I don’t see this prevailing in the meaning-fluid state of the English language today.

    Please keep the line moving, sir. We have a lot of you voters to register today.
    -San Francisco policeman

    San Francisco decides that citizenship is meaningless.  I mean, I’m sure they’ll only allow them to vote in this one single election, right? There’s no chance for abuse at all. And anyone who thinks there is is nothing but a bigot.

    I wonder if Team Blue are regretting their elevation of this moron yet.  I doubt it. They’re likely to start saying she should get the Nobel Prize. It worked for another lightweight politician from that side of the spectrum.

    Imbecile

    Oh yeah, speaking of that aforementioned lightweight, he’s signaling his support for taking from the productive class and giving it to those who have contributed little to nothing. Molon Labe, fuckhead.

    Just like New York, California might want to rethink their laws that prevent people from protecting themselves.  Christ, what a bunch of assholes.

    Well now that the race-hustle is complete, it turns out there may be more to the story in the Chicago CVS situation. Gee, what a freaking surprise.

    Wow, who the hell knew being a shitty school administrator could pay off so well. That dude makes more than a US Senator or Supreme Court justice, by the way.

    A face I assume only a mother could love

    Yeah, you might want to sit this one out, mom. ::SHAKING. MY. DAMN. HEAD.::

    Tough day for picking a song. But I’ve made my choice and I’m standing by it.

    No wait, today deserves double-billing.

    Enjoy your day, friends.

     

  • Wednesday Afternoon Links

    So not only did I read the excellent new episode of the Hat & Hair, I tried to read all of SF’s Election Year coverage. The fact that we got the Hat & Hair and not that… other storyline is proof that God loves us and wants us to be soulless, but not to claw out our eyes in dismay. Truly we live in the best of all possible lightcones.

    Here’s a little something for those of you who think Jeff Goldblum is a hunk. Me, personally, I always thought he played himself most accurately in The Big Chill. Skeezy, but too neurotic to be actually rapey.

    You know, aside from having a great name. The best name. Aside from that I was so-so on Brett Kavanaugh, but I’m liking him better today. And Private Chipperbot, I still owe you a catbutt from the overnight tattoo thread.

    Jeff Bezos isn’t going to let Elon Musk be the only evil billionaire in space. Bezos may now be rich enough to survive the old joke — “How do you become a millionaire in the rocket industry? Start with a billion dollars.”

    Hey look, its an anti-nutpunch. This young man was walking to his first day of work — seven hours away because his car broke down — the cops bought him breakfast and gave him a ride, and the CEO of his company showed up and gave the young man a car. I know millennials who can both take responsibility and execute are hard to find, but a police escort and a free car seems a bit much. Back in my day, we’d have just called and said “my car broke, I’ll have to find a different job.”

    Florida Men and their heavy equipment. What a rude asshole. All those people on the bus probably missed connecting buses because of his dumb ass.

     

    It’s a summertime song. I forgot how very psychadelic the groove on this is.

  • The Hat and The Hair: Episode 88

    Trump-Putin Summit Is Over. The Head-Scratching? Not So Much

    “And I have single-handedly revived the posterboard, marker, wooden stick, papier-mâché head and protest permit industries. Obama didn’t do that. George Bush didn’t do that. Crooked Hillary didn’t do that. Me. I did that. ME. That’s all, good night,” Donald concluded.

    He walked away from the bright noon sun in the White House Rose Garden, leaving dozens of screaming reporters sweating in the swamp heat of July in Washington.

    “Give them one last smirk,” the hat urged from his coat pocket.

    “Too much,” the hair said.

    “It’s never too much,” the hat snapped. “We are the reason they all have jobs. Without us, journalism would collapse and they would have to go back to sucking dick under a wharf to make ends meet.”

    The assembled reporters started booing behind them as they walked away. Donald shook the hands of a few shell-shocked White House staff members. They all had the thousand-yard stare by now, and most spent the day numbly mumbling to themselves. Their hands were dead and limp in Donald’s hand but he pumped them up and down vigorously anyway and smiled.

    “They all love you, Donald,” the hat said. “They all love you so much.”

    The Secret Service agent that opened the door for Donald glared at the back of his huge head as the trio walked into the cool darkness. His hand moved to his weapon reflexively. He just adjusted his jacket instead and swallowed bile.

    “Just tremendous,” Donald said to no one as he walked down the deserted hallway to the Oval Office. “Fabulous time in Finland. Great country, just great.”

    “Put me on, Donald,” the hat whispered from his suit pocket.

    “It’s rude to wear a hat indoors, Donald,” the hair said.

    Donald walked past the secretaries outside the Oval Office and waved to them. They might have been different women since the last time he walked by. He privately called them all “Carol” and daydreamed about most of them having some variety of erotic incontinence.

    “Diet Coke, Carol,” he told the last of them, the oldest one, totally hideous and sexless, a wizened crone, maybe even as old as 32, and she nodded and said, “Yes, sir,” with the strained voice her bruised vocal cords could still make.

    “Big Diet Coke. 20 ounces,” he said, spreading his hands vertically to indicate the size of the bottle.

    “Yes, sir,” the woman who wasn’t named “Carol” repeated.

    “Yuge Diet Coke. Maybe a one-liter. Do we have any of the one-liter bottles left?”

    “I’ll check for you, sir.”

    “And a 20-piece McNugget. Barbeque sauce. No, Honey. Honey,” Donald said. “Or Honey and Barbeque sauce.”

    “Yes, sir.”

    “I want a pie,” the hat said.

    “Apple or cherry?” Donald asked.

    “Sir?” not-Carol asked.

    “Apple or cherry, Carol? I need an answer,” Donald said.

    “Uh, sir, I’m not Carol…” not-Carol said.

    “One of each,” the hat said, laughing.

    “Four apple pies and two cherries,” Donald said. “Add that to the order.”

    “Yes, sir.”

    Donald started into the Oval Office and then turned back, “And don’t forget that Diet Coke.”

    “No, sir. I won’t, sir. And, sir, the National Security Advisor is waiting for you in your office.”

    “Dammit, Carol, you should have told me that first thing!”

    “Yes, sir.”

    “And make it four cherry pies. Vlad could eat three cherry pies all by himself, I bet. Wait, no, I don’t bet, I don’t bet. I KNOW he could eat three cherry pies all by himself.”

    “So, three cherry pies, sir,” not-Carol asked.

    “Four. FOUR PIES. So, eight pies. Four. Four each,” Donald said angrily, holding up seven fingers, then six, then all ten. He turned and grimly stalked into the Oval Office.

    “Johnny!” he called, the hair squirming on his head.

    “ROOSIANS!” John Bolton’s mustache bellowed. “You let us get cornholed by the gotdamn ROOSIANS!”

    Donald shut the door to the Oval Office and paused, a huge and knowing grin on his face, for the studio audience to finish laughing.

  • Wednesday Morning Links

    Well here I am, ready to report on all the scores and ac…shit, there’s nothing but the baseball All-Star Game?  Well that’s a gyp!  the American League won and an Astro was the MVP. So that’s good.  Oh, and The Open starts tomorrow.  Only soft picks for me. I have no freaking idea who will win. Let me do some research and I’ll get back to you tomorrow with that.

    An American hero. (Also pictured: John Glenn)

    Well since the athletic world shit the bed on us, let’s see what July 18 had in store for us historically. Gangster George “Machine Gun” Kelly was born on this date. So was actor Hume Cronyn, anti-Apartheid activist and spouse of a psychopath Nelson Mandela, the man who put the “ass” in astronaut John Glenn, musician “Screaming Jay” Hawkins, writer Hunter S Thompson, directorial genius Paul Verhoeven, balloon- and space-enthusiast Richard Branson, Village Person Glenn Hughes, golf great Nick Faldo, and “actor” Vin Diesel. It was also the day Thomas Aquinas was named a saint, Nero broke out his fiddle (supposedly) as Rome burned, Cap Anson was the first baseball player to 3,000 hits, Hitler’s “Mean Kampf” was published, Ty Cobb was the first to 4,000 hits, “Lucky” Luciano was sentenced to 30-50 years, and Kim Jong-un was made supreme leader of North Korea.

    Wow, remind me to mark July 18 as a day that sucked.  Let’s see if we can redeem it with…the links!

    What could possibly go wrong?

    America needs some better diplomacy to get the North Korea nuclear disarmament plan back on track. And I can think of nothing that could possibly be better than this.  Oh, please make this happen!

    Google gets slapped with a $5 billion fine by the EU. The ruling is supposedly about antitrust (as if such a thing could possibly exist when you have myriad choices of smartphones and at least three operating systems to use), but I suspect it has to do with bankrolling their failed experiments that we all know as “Greece” and “Spain”.

    Wel, the super volcano theory can resurface now.  So can the anti-fracking whackos I suppose. I’m sure they’ll also find a way to blame the emergence of a 100-ft fissure in Yellowstone on the oil industry.

    “That guy is a nuisance. Look, he’s got a plastic bottle!”
    San Fran resident

    Adding some extra scrutiny to their sanctuary city policy, San Francisco releases an illegal immigrant on bail that has been accused in a series of violent rapes.  Nice job, assholes.  We put people in solitary confinement that are awaiting tax charges from over a decade ago but we let an accused (multiple times) rapist out who isn’t even here legally.  Nice priorities.

    I know this will probably come as a shock to you, but the city of Chicago is fucking people over in a way that violates the law. Crazy, innit?

    #metoo’d from the Ivy League

    Damn, Dartmouth. Let’s try to keep our pants on for a minute, shall we? academia, Hollywood and politics…why are those professions so attractive to gropey and rapey people? I guess we’ll never know.

    We all know the alleged serial killer that was running around, literally, in my neighborhood has been caught.  But here’s a little more good news from the bayou city. Well, marginally good news.  A pair of hearses showing up would have been better, but we take what we can get.

    And that’s pretty much it. Except for this birthday tribute to some of our men in uniform.

    Have a great day, friends!

  • For the love of tattoos

    I’m a little bit obsessed with tattoos, so when I saw that today is National Tattoo Day, I thought it would be fun to chat about tattoos!

    I got my first tattoo when I was 18, and like most tattoos people get when they’re 18, it’s not great, but I didn’t realise at the time what good tattoos are.

    Since then I’ve become obsessed with really amazing tattoos, and I’m lucky to be friends with some incredible tattoo artists.

    I have a sleeve in progress and can’t wait to get it finished.

    Now it’s your turn!

    Share your Glib Ink in the comments.

  • Tuesday Afternoon Links

    Hey guys. As you might have noticed, Sloopy is still not pulling his weight. I’m not saying this explains it, but we might be selling merch for bail. Maybe. There’s some discussion about whether or not this is too deplorable for even a site dedicated to freedom, rapesquatches, sexually explicit political slashfic and puerile “humor”.

    This is an awesome (and super-depressing) insight into North Korea where Rocket Man is personally intervening in holiday camp hot springs and bag factories.

    “Unemployment is low because everyone has two jobs,” said  Ocasio-Cortez. This prosperity is killing us! Right and nobody goes to the popular restaurants, they’re too crowded.

    As I have been saying, $70/bbl oil is far more likely than $170/bbl, no matter what Bloomberg and other scare-mongers are hawking.

    Florida Woman, please do not mix 4Loco, methadone, and child care. What’s the over/under she serves more than the 20 months the chick who hung the toddler in Minnesota served? Or more than this Florida Woman who killed her mother in a confrontation about being left out of the will. Wait. I’m married to a Florida…. hold on. Got to change the will.

    And here’s something of interest to one Glib in particular — “How to Eat Like a Gilmore”  h/t jesse.in.mb

     

    It’s not creative, but I ain’t heard it in a while.

     

  • Forty Years Later – Chapter 4

    Catch up on the earlier Chapters: 1, 2, 3

    (click to enlarge images)

    Day 5

    The next morning I discovered the last indignity from the motel. There was no hot water. Not even a drop. I had to settle for washing my pits and crotch and using clean clothes to face decent society.

    Having seen the results of the dinner buffet, I wasn’t expecting much for the breakfast buffet and my pessimism was correct. Same bored guy behind the counter took my breakfast order. I took the opportunity to re-check the board for the cavern tours and was pleased to discover that I had mis-read it; the $50 tour was for another area and the standard tour was only $20, and I even got a discount for AAA when I bought the ticket. The cavern tour made up for all of the hassles that I had endured with the motel and restaurant. It was simply magnificent.

    I was almost solo with my attractive tour guide but at the last minute a family from somewhere in Eastern Europe joined us. I can usually pick out a language (even though I cannot speak it) from its sounds and a few vocabulary words that I can recognize. I never knew for sure but they sounded Slavic to me.

    Like Carlsbad Caverns the entrance to the cave was not the original entrance. An elevator took us down (and back up), followed by a walk of a mile or so. It is a “dry” cave (unlike Carlsbad) and therefore has a different sort of cave formations. The walk also took us by the old Civil Defense fallout shelter and a hotel room located 250 feet below the surface. Our guide said that she had spent her honeymoon there and the total darkness and total silence was actually too much to take! They had to turn on a nightlight in order to remain the night!

    I finished the tour around mid-morning and resumed my trip on US-66. Someone, I’m guessing the Tourist Bureau from the Seligman area, has sponsored a series of signs along the road, similar to the Burma Shave signs of the past. I thought that this was a clever way to promote the historic road. There is a lot of interest nowadays for the promotion of US-66 of bygone days, as my trip was discovering. I think that Americans are missing a lot of their heritage by blasting by on the limited-access Interstate Highway. A forgotten America still exists on the back roads that is not part of the Interstate Exit conglomeration of chain motels and fast food restaurants.

    At Seligman I climbed back on the freeway to deal with the truck traffic.

    I took the exit to drive through Ash Fork, as the road had diverted in the past. I had not remembered the Ash Fork was famous for its stone quarries, particularly shale and flagstone. Most of the houses in town were made of stone and many of them looked to be quite old.

    I wanted to see the statue that Winslow had erected of the guy “standing on a corner in Winslow Arizona” and missed it on the westbound trip so I exited the freeway and drove through the town in the other direction
    I recall hearing the refrain, “Spend the night in a wigwam!” ever since I was a child. One of the few remaining authentic Wigwam Motel ™ franchises was located in Holbrook Arizona and, since I was committed to doing the “tourist thing,” I reserved a wigwam. I am so glad that I did.

    The original design was from the 1930’s and the park in Holbrook is one of three remaining in the country. The layout is quite clever with a surprisingly large bedroom and a bathroom with shower at the rear. The park has numerous old cars parked at nearly every room, adding to the nostalgic flavor of the place.

    As I sat in the lengthening shadows of my last night on the road I used my cell phone to call my buddies who were gathered for our weekly poker game. A bit later I was finally got to visit with some neighbors who were having a little party in the parking lot. We chatted for a few minutes, then they moved on to a party downtown and I moved on to my bed in the wigwam.

    Day 6

    I had breakfast where the locals eat, Joe & Aggie’s Place. All that one could ask for, large helpings of terrific food and a bottomless pot of coffee.

    In the parking lot there was a family of foreign tourists apparently taken by my motorcycle. When I walked up in my leather chaps and vest they were enthralled. The husband asked if I would pose with their children and I suggested putting the son on my bike for the photo. It looked like the daughter wanted her picture taken, too, (and I would have been glad to oblige) but I think that the parents felt that they were putting me out by the photo op. Hell, I didn’t care, it was fun being thought of as “an American biker.” I got an extra internal kick from knowing that my Harley-riding friends would be in distress by the foreigners being impressed with a biker on a Japanese bike.

    After my encounter with Stogie I looked for other motorcyclists to ride with. On the way back I caught up with a fellow on a Honda 350. I held with him for a few miles, but he was traveling much slower than I wanted to so I said, “See ya” and went on. At Continental Divide I stopped at the Stuckeys for fuel and, upon leaving, encountered my friend on the Honda. We stopped for a few minutes to chat and then I went on.

    To avoid the truck traffic on I-40 and to bypass Albuquerque I planned my trip across the reservation from Gallup through Crownpoint to Cuba. Again, wonderful scenery on a two-lane blacktop with no traffic. The road meanders from small town to town as it winds toward Cuba.

    I was only a few miles away and had the lunch from El Bruno’s on my mind as I followed the Rio Puerco into town. Suddenly my reverie was interrupted by the impact of an insect on my exposed neck and the instant application of pain. I had run into the business end of a bee and the sting was rapidly swelling. I’m pretty sure that I’m not allergic to bee stings but I was still worried that the swelling might cause my windpipe to close. Fortunately the pain and swelling subsided in a bit and I was able to enjoy my lunch.

    After spending the night again with Bruce I headed east toward home. The trip back was uneventful until I arrived back on my home turf in Albuquerque. I hit the freeway at the peak of rush hour. I had heard horror stories about the horrible traffic jams in Los Angeles, yet the worst traffic that I encountered was right in my home town!

    I pulled into home right at dinner time. The family came out to greet me and hugs were liberally spread around. As I had been riding the hard saddle of the dirtbike almost non-stop my first words upon arrival were, “My butt hurts!”

    I was home.

    The last leg of the trip was in sight. A while back my uncle sent me a copy of a column from a motorcycle magazine where the author gave tips about road trips. One of the tips was a reminder that the last day of the trip is still part of the trip and one should not hurry the finish. A suggestion was to stop at the local bar on the way home and savor the trip just before it is over. I stopped at Los Ojos for a beer and found some folks to listen to my tales before heading up the hill for the last 20 miles.

    I was home.

  • Tuesday Morning Links – Remain Calm, All is Well!

     

    No worries….just because sloopy is not here for the morning links, no need to panic. We have so got this!

    Sports…um. OK, nothing happened yesterday. Apparently nothing will happen today either.

    History – Oh, let us see here. Disneyland opened in 1955. Not really something that gets the blood pumping… How about in 1945, the Potsdam Conference began. Jo DiMaggio ended his hitting streak at 56. Man…kind of weak today. REMAIN CALM, WE HAVE BIRTHDAYS!!!

    Birthdays – 1744, Elbridge Gerry (“Gerrymandering”). 1889 – Erle Gardner (wrote “Perry Mason”). 1894 – That Belgian dude who sort of was the first guy with the Big Bang theory, Georges Lemaître. 1899 – James Cagney (insert bad gangster impression here) . 1912 – Noted Canadian and early TV guy, Art Linkletter. 1917 – Baseball hooman (inventor of the infield shift) Lou Bourdeau [he was also a basketball player and coach…look it up.] Also that year, Phyllis Diller. 1920 – Inventor of the “laser”, Gordon Gould. 1952 – THE HASS! Germany rejoices.

    Links

    1. I need a costume change here… [dons Zerohedge hat and Infowars T-Shirt]. I KNEW IT!!!!!! SEE! HE WENT BACK TO HIS HOMELAND!1!1!eleventy!!1oneoneone!!
    2. Things are so bad in Syria, that people will try to enter TEH ZIONIST ENTITY for refuge. Funny, I don’t see anyone fleeing from Israel to one of her neighbors?
    3. “This isn’t real life; this is Instagram” – Seriously bad news for Q, HM and many others…admirers of the thicc or the busty.
    4. A point of etiquette, Mr. Lizard. Could you get a room, please?

     

    So, as you see….we have things under control here at Glibs HQ! *faint sound of alarm* Now, if you will pardon me, I, uh, have to get back to things.

    Decisions, Decisions!
  • But since I am vegan… Iranian Edition نسخه ایرانی

    Since I am vegan, that means no meat for me, so these 5 Iranian dishes are at the top of my list.

    1. Shirazi Salad سالاد شیرازی

    I love, love, love this dish.

    Named after the Shiraz region in Iran, this is a refreshing, delicious, and vegan, salad made of cucumbers, tomatoes, and onion. Spiced with mint, lemon, and sumac (I order mine from Amazon), it’s perfect for those horrible hot icky summer days that we’re having a lot of here in the States.

    The prep for this dish really couldn’t get any easier. You throw all the ingredients into a bowl, stir, chill, and serve. You can find a great recipe at AllRecipes.com.

    2. Shirin Polo شیرین پلو

    Known as jeweled rice, this is a traditional Iranian sweet rice dish that is bright in colour and is cooked with raisins. Usually served at Nowruz (Persian New Year), weddings, and basically any other special occasion, this is a staple in Iranian cuisine.

    It’s a little too sweet for me to have as a main dish, but it goes great as a side.

    Shirin Polo is traditionally made with butter (#NotVegan), but simply replace the butter in this recipe from Persian Mama with margarine, and you’ll be good to go.

    3. Ashe Reshteh آش رشته

    Oh. My. Ashe Reshteh is an Iranian noodle soup and so freakin’ good. I have had dreams about this soup. Made with a variety of beans, noodles, and herbs this soup is hearty, filling, and comforting.

    Most recipes call for beef or chicken broth, and yogurt as a garnish, but this vegetarian recipe from ThePersianPot.com can be made vegan by omitting the sour cream.

    4. Dal Adas دال عدس

    Lentils, anyone? Dal adas is a lentil stew-type dish hailing from southern Iran. I love lentils; I could do a whole post about my favourite lentil dishes. Dal adas features red lentils, tamarind, potatoes, shallots, turmeric, and cardamom. Serve over rice.

    The Persian Mama strikes again with another great recipe.

    5. Khoresh Bademjan خورش بادمجان

    I’m not a huge fan of eggplant, but this dish of eggplant tomato stew is actually really good. Simply omit the yogurt sauce, and this dish is vegan. One of my favourite things about khoresh bademjan is that you can cook it in a crockpot as long as you do the onions and eggplant in a pan first.

    This recipe is available over at TheSpruceEats.com.

    Featured image: Milad Tower in Tehran.