Glibertarians.com 2018 Archive

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  • Tuesday Afternoon Still Here Links

    I may have over-reacted yesterday, as there’s been no more cannibalism or murder than usual in my neck of the woods. But 65% humidity in July? It seemed likely that the world was ending. Instead, I am in meeting Hell. I must have joined an Agile group because we spend more time in status meetings than working. I’d go become a teacher or work in healthcare, but the previous post leads me to believe that I’d be racing the heat death of the universe to make that change.

    Homemade GUNZ is now a favorite of CRIMINALZ!!! Says a former BATFE employee with no statistics to back him up. The Ghostgunner and parts are significantly more expensive than driving to the gun show and buying one cash on the barrelhead.

    I love the TdF — Cops pepper-spray protesting farmers and crash the race. They should just send out Presidential aides in riot gears.

    Rocket Man taking down his launch pad?

    Eric Holder? Eric Holder is going to run for President in 2020? I want Trump’s enemies.

     

     

  • Credentialism and Bureaucracy: 2018 Edition

    Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away. No, wait. Wrong story.

    Let me start again.

    In a former life, I was the owner of a hard-won and extensive set of healthcare credentials issued by the State of New York, and some other granting agencies and organizations. After I left NYS, I decided not to continue in that line of work and consequently did not transfer my credentials elsewhere to keep them active. This turns out to have been a huge miscalculation.

    For reasons too mundane and numerous to list, I’ve now decided that perhaps I want to get back into a very narrow segment of the field. The very specific skills and knowledge needed are ones for which I was universally lauded, and were a tiny portion of my previous scope of practice.

    Looking around at various job openings, I see that I am very well-qualified…except I don’t have the standalone piece of paper now needed for this.

    OK. So, how can I obtain the piece of paper? Take a certification exam. Excellent. I kick ass on certification exams, and my skills and knowledge are more than compatible with the current standards. I can do the work and can pass the exam, I should be able to get the gig.

    Nope. Can’t sit for the exam unless I have a different piece of paper from an “approved” program, attesting to my successful completion of a certain number of hours of training under the accredited program, the curriculum of which I could actually teach…and, in fact, used to teach in NYS.

    But, OK. I get it. This isn’t too different from the first time around. I’ll find a program at a college and enroll.

    Within a day of applying to the closest institution of higher education offering the required program this autumn, I was accepted. Awesome, no?

    No.

    I received a packet of information via email with the requirements that must be met before I can even register for the specific courses needed for the credentialing program.

    WTF? I can’t register for the courses even though I was accepted?

    No.

    First, I must attend an orientation session for the program. Well, that seems OK.

    There is only one offered this entire summer for a program beginning at the end of August. Still, I’m thinking, good thing I found out about it in time! I’ll sign up for it.

    Nope. No reservations or sign-ups taken, even though there is limited seating. But if you don’t get a spot in the room, you are out of luck until…next summer!


    [REDACTED EXPLETIVES]

    OK, so I’ll add it to my calendar, make some arrangements that are disruptive to the entire household, and will make sure I am there a couple hours early.

    In the meantime, let’s take another look at the list of requirements and see what else I can check off.

    *double take*

    They want…my ACT and SAT scores and high school transcripts? I graduated from high school in the early 1980s (and they know this), and I took those exams my junior year of high school. Why in the world would they want those?!

    To prove “English proficiency” and “Algebra readiness.”

    Now, I am a regularly published writer and professional editor with tear sheets, books, and lists of credits. I took higher math (unavoidable with a math professor dad!), but there is absolutely no math, and indeed, very little arithmetic, needed in this field. WTF?

    You guessed it, my Glib friends! Turns out those are some kind of government mandate. Being a published writer in English language magazines is not considered “proof” of English language literacy. Why? Because that isn’t on the list from the government.

    (Digression. High school guidance secretary, after several email exchanges: What was your name when you were here again?
    Me: Same as it is now.
    Secretary: Um…ok, I was…um, just checking. I’ll have to get back to you.
    Me: *head desk*)

    Ever dealt with the SAT and ACT folks trying to get nearly-40-year-old records? Gee, I have now. I don’t recommend it. Expensive. And takes weeks longer than I have to obtain the results.

    Because, remember, I can’t register for the courses before I get this info. Oh, and, hey, there is only one section of this program being offered at a time I can take it. And, “don’t delay on sending in your requirements as courses tend to fill quickly.”

    (I hear you wondering, “Why can’t she just use her college transcripts?” Because in the honors program I was in, we could design our own curriculum and neither English comp nor math had any place in what I was studying so aren’t on those transcripts.)

    Well, this is silly. I’ll research in what other ways I can “prove” these things.

    Turns out I can take placement tests. Seriously. Well, OK, if I have to, I can do that sooner than the other stuff will arrive.

    Except. That costs money. And the tests can only be done supervised, on-site. During limited hours which are, again, household disruptive. With an appointment that is weeks out, really pushing my registration window.

    Hmm. Before I spend any more cash, I better call the program chair and find out if there are even any openings in the course sections for which I need to register.

    “We don’t really know.”

    “Isn’t it shown right there in the computer roster?”

    “Well, things change a lot over the summer, so we can’t really know right now. I would advise you to keep going through the process and then try to register.”

    [MORE REDACTED EXPLETIVES]

    Back to the damn list.

    Proof of Residency. Check!
    Proof of Citizenship. Two for two!

    New student orientation. Crap. “NSO will teach you how to succeed in a college environment!” At least as a “non-traditional” student, I will be able to complete this as a series of webinars. With tests for each section and a final exam which must be passed with over 70% correct answers. Truth. Could I make that up?

    Meeting in person with academic advisor in counseling center. Really? For a certificate program? Yes! Mandatory, because it additionally grants college credit. Daytime hours, limited for summer, no appointments.

    Required tests and/or immunizations for healthcare programs, which must be done at the institution’s health center (yes, limited, daytime hours):

    TB 2-Step (9-day process) $9 ea
    OR T-Spot (1-2 Business day) $54 ea
    Hepatitis A Titre $22 ea
    Hepatitis B (series of 3) $46 ea
    Hepatitis B Titre (quantitative antibody) $35
    Hepatitis C Antibody $22
    Measles (proof of two) $78
    Measles Titre $35
    Mumps (proof of two) $78
    Mumps Titre $52
    Rubella (proof of two) $78
    Rubella Titre $17
    Varicella Titre $46
    Tdap $46
    Flu Shot $35

    Notice something about many of those? If the titre doesn’t provide a satisfactory result, the shots are needed. They are mostly series. Which must be spaced out by several weeks. Which takes me out of the registration window completely. (Did I ever have rubella? Doubtful. Can’t ask Mom, she rudely died a few years ago, not anticipating the inconvenience to me now.)

    Physical Exam (price varies)
    Eye Exam (price varies)

    Drug Screening – 10 panel, $50. Must be paid first at college cashier’s office after standing in line (daytime only hours, “limited for summer” !, then paperwork and receipt delivered to program secretary’s office, who will then issue the paperwork (“within 3 or 4 business days, but not Fridays during the summer”) to take to an off-site, non-local provider, with…yes, you know it, limited daytime hours, walk-ins only, no appointments.

    Sheesh. This is starting to add up. Oh, yeah, and I have to pay for all this stuff before knowing if I’ll get a spot in the program.

    Back to the list.

    Fingerprinting $28 – outside vendor, not local, limited daytime hours, walk-in, no appointments. *sigh*
    Background check $45 (Did I remember to list every address I’ve ever had?)

    Healthcare Provider CPR/AED – off-site through AHA. This one, at least, will be easy to meet as the classes are routinely scheduled for evenings and Saturdays at loads of local venues.

    Oh, look! Here’s another little wrinkle. This program is only offered with an August starting date. All the above requirements have to be met within 12 months of beginning the program in August. If I go ahead and pay for everything, get all the documents and tests completed during July to increase the chances of being able to register before the program is filled, and ultimately there is no space in the program this autumn…I have to do it all again to try to get in next year, because July is not within 12 months of next August.

    But, hey, that’s the end of the list!

    There is a cheery little message at the bottom:

    Notification will be sent to your email account when you have been granted permission to register for the program courses. If you have met all other program requirements, you will be able to register for any section that has availability, as long as the registration window is still open. Remember: enrolling in one course does not mean you will be able to enroll in the other courses required for the program. You may have to register for those courses during a later program year.

    TL:DR – I’m beginning to see why there is a shortage of healthcare workers, yo.

  • Tuesday Morning Links of Admonition

    “We’re averting our gaze, Lord!”

     

    OK you lot! Just because you all have been commenting in goodly numbers, and submitting material like we asked….it doesn’t mean you have any room to slack off! I expect top grade comments, snark a plenty, and everything else that makes this commentariat top grade.

    I’ll bet you think you comment well?!

    Events – Mary, Queen of Scots got tossed in the clink and abdicated (1567) Gibraltar was de-Spainified (1704) SCOTUS tells Nixon to hand ’em over [tapes] (1974).

    Birthdays – Simon Bolivar [who at the end realized he had screwed up – “he who serves a revolution, plows the sea”] (1783) Alexandre Dumas (1802) Amelia Earhart (1897)

    Sports – baseball continues, whatever. NFL camps are open, hurrah!

    Links:

    1. Which one of you was this? Come on, fess up. Guess it wasn’t a “Judgment Free Zone” – or was he “Gymtimidated”?
    2. Hmmm… disorderly Austrians. You know who else was Austrian and caused disorder?
    3. TREASON! GOING TO COLLECT THOSE 30 PIECES OF…Oh, wrong leader. I wonder if Gerasimov was able to refrain from laughing out loud?
    4. Dronzzz?! Seriously, if they catch the #$%& responsible for this, they should send them to the Brazen Bull.

     

    Music – SugarFree brought this up to me a little while back. Now you can listen too.

  • If I weren’t vegan…Japanese edition 日本版

    A couple notes before we dive in:

    My double post format last week inadvertently confused people. SP and I thought it was funny, but since readers were confused, I’m combining the two posts I had planned for this week into one post.

    I wanted to be able to take some photos for you today, but the janky apartment building I live in lost power when I rebooted my computer, and the landlord took hours to show up to fix it.

    About the Japanese Edition

    I have always been simultaneously fascinated and perplexed by Japanese culture. The town I grew up in has a fabulous Japanese cafe where all the meals are cooked by a little Japanese grandma.

    When my ex and I moved to California, we first lived with his brother and his roommates, who were all very much into Japanese culture. One of their best friends was a computer programmer at Apple who immigrated from Japan. Once a week he took us all out to a different Japanese restaurant. We spent a lot of time in Japanese Town in San Francisco.

    My husband is very much into Japanese culture, knows enough of the language to get by, and watches a lot of Japanese shows. We recently finished all three seasons of Shokugeki No Soma, the first two seasons of Overlord, and we’re currently in the middle of watching Hozuki No Reitesu, Kimi No Todoke, and Great Teacher Onizuka.

    I know there are Glibs who know much more about Japanese culture and cuisine than I do, so this post isn’t so much about dishes I have made before, as it is about dishes I want to try. I look forward to reading comments from the community with suggestions!

    So without further ado…

    If I weren’t vegan…

    Donburi

    There is something magical about donburi. It could be a whole post in and of itself. Donburi is a perfect one dish meal, much like a Buddha Bowl, and there are so many different varieties of dons that you could eat a new don every day and not get bored.

    IMHO nothing tops a good gyudon.

    Oyakodon is egg and chicken.

    Donburis can easily be adapted to vegan which is something else I love about dons. The mapo tofu don, for example, can be adapted to vegan by omitting the pork. (Great vegetarian mapo tofu don recipe here.)

    Karaage

    Crispy fried Japanese chicken beats out every other fried chicken I’ve ever had. Soy and ginger come together to create a flavourful chicken dish that’s impossible to quit eating. Karaage goes great on its own, inside a bento box, or topping a donburi.

    A great Karaage recipe is available from Japanese Centre.

    Beef Teriyaki

    Delicious. Beefy. Teriyakiy. And super easy. What’s not to love?

    Something I really love about beef teriyaki is it keeps well in the fridge, and you can easily add the leftover beef (if there is such a thing) to a donburi.

    This recipe from Rasa Malaysia is not the most authentic, but it’s quick and easy. If you want to go for something more authentic, check out the Japanese Food Report where they go through the process and the glaze.

    Fukusazushi

    I love wrapping food inside other food, and this is no exception. This dish uses a thin omelette as the wrapper. Wrap up meat and veggies inside eggy goodness, and you have healthy food on the go.

    Great recipe here from Japan Centre.

    And if you’re interested in seeing how a master makes Japanese omelettes, watch this.

    But since I am vegan…

    Ginger Sesame Soba Noodles

    I have a thing for soba noodles. I only recently discovered (thanks to the Shokugeki anime) there are many different types of soba, and it’s based on what part of the buckwheat is used.

    One of my favorite meals from the little Japanese cafe in my hometown is soba salad. I crave it. I have dreams about it.

    I like to take this vegan recipe from This Savory Vegan and put the noodles on a bed of cabbage and top with fried tofu.

    Vegan Onigiri

    The Japanese are great at finger foods. Onigiri is a brilliant finger food. These are rice balls wrapped with nori and traditionally stuffed with some sort of meat, but this vegan recipe happily omits the meat so I can eat it.

    I intend to experiment with creating a peanut tofu onigiri, but til that day comes, this recipe from Green Evi will satisfy any vegan’s onigiri craving.

    Daikon Steaks

    Daikon Steaks
    Daikon Steaks

    I have no idea what this is really called in Japanese, but it is delicious. My husband says it’s one of the best dishes I’ve ever made.

    1 large daikon, peeled
    fresh ginger, chopped
    green onions, chopped
    1tbsp butter alternative (or just butter if you’re not vegan)

    variable ingredients:

    The exact amount of these ingredients will vary based on how much broth and sauce you make.

    soy sauce
    nori
    mirin
    sake (rice vinegar will work in a pinch)

    1. Cut the peeled daikon into 2-3” segments. With paring knife, round the edges of the daikon. This is really important, and it took me a couple attempts at this dish to figure it out. Daikon is mostly water, and as it cooks the middle will shrink, leaving a raised edge around the side, and that will be the part that gets caramelized.

    2. Add the daikon to a bowl and cover in a broth of equal parts water and soy sauce. Add ginger and nori. Daikon tends to float, so you may want to keep a spoon on top of the daikon to keep it under the surface so its thoroughly marinated. I marinated for several hours.

    3. Turn a non-stick pan on high and let it get nice and hot. You’ll know it is ready when you add a couple drops of water to the pan and they sputter.

    4. Add the daikon in the center of the pan. The water should start to exude from the daikon. Cook until slightly brown on the bottom and flip. When browned on both the top and the bottom, turn the heat down, add the broth, and cook over medium heat until the daikon is cooked throughly. It should be browned on the top and bottom and really soft to the touch. How long this takes will depend on how thick the daikon is.

    5. Remove the daikon to the plate. In the pan add butter alternative. I use Earth Balance. Melt the “butter.” Add a quarter cup of soy sauce, a quarter cup of sake, and a quarter cup of mirin. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until thickened. You should have about a quarter cup of sauce. I use a quarter cup of sauce per two daikon steaks. Scale up the sauce based on how many daikon steaks you’re making. The sauce should be salty, creamy, and a little sweet.

    6. Drizzle the daikon with the sauce and top with fresh green onions. You can garnish with sesame seeds if you have them.

    Marinated Onion Potato

    I don’t know what this is actually called. This goes really well with the daikon steaks. The recipe makes one serving. Scale accordingly.

    1 large white potato, peeled
    1/4 cup of white onion, cut in very thin slivers
    1/2 cup of soy sauce
    1/4 cup of sake
    1 tbsp mirin
    1/2 cup of water

    butter alternative to taste

    1. Mix the soy sauce, sake, mirin, and water into a broth. Add the peeled potato and marinate for at least an hour.

    2. Add cool water to a bowl, and add the white onion. Rub the white onion between your finger tips to break up the membrane. This helps remove some of the bite.

    3. Heat a small pot of water, and boil the potato until it’s cooked.

    4. Remove the potato from the water and put into a bowl. Add the onion and the onion water, 2 tbsp of broth, and mash together with a fork. Add the butter alternative, and continue to mix, and then serve.

  • Monday Afternoon End-of-the-World Links

    We had a cold front blow in about 4am this morning. Like a for-real fall cold front with incredible lightning and thunder. Also the temperature hit the low 70s and will probably not exceed the low 80s today. This is very weird weather for July. Very weird. So like any good Florida Man, I am preparing for the end of the world and Fimbulwinter. This may be our last links together. I am gathering closed-toed shoes and pants in case winter arrives. I have dug out several sweat shirts. I am collecting firewood from the downed branches. Stay tuned for further notices if possible.

    Archer presages reality. With perfectly safe, absolutely non-flammable helium, this is the slowest way to fly across the Atlantic. Also, as yet not proven safely able to operate for the three days it would take to cross.

    John Brennan still has a security clearance?

    I asked STEVE SMITH about this, and he says no cryptozoological creatures were involved. Probably just horrible humans.

    Papa John’s Corporation would rather destroy shareholder value than let John Schnatter take over. Let’s see if they can destroy the whole company.

    In honor of Papa John, here’s a fun one.

  • Gedankenexperiment #2 – Getting Rid of the Clock in Football

    What?!? Why would you even consider this?

    First, this is a gedankenexperiment, not an actual proposal. Sometimes you just have to think about the world in different ways. Secondly, the clock rules in football are stupid, and other than tradition no one would create them the way they are. While this is an extreme example, here is the kind of things that happen with the current rules:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-ELRub8n7s

    What would replace them?

    Simple, there would be a play counter. Each quarter would consist of 35 plays from scrimmage (28 in High School). Exceptions would be extra points and plays with an accepted penalty (dead ball penalties occur during a dead ball and would be no different from today). Kickoffs and free kicks are not from scrimmage and would not count as plays. Field goal attempts and punts would. Thirty-five works out about right. Current NFL teams run just about 70 plays per game on average. Most colleges run a bit more, but see below for how that would change.
    There would still be a play clock, but its rule could be set for whatever pace of play is wanted, without concern for the game clock.

    How would this change the game?

    In many ways, not at all. In others, dramatically. The big changes would be:

    1. Passing vs Running – We wouldn’t have 4.5 hour long Washington State games because a pass play, whether complete or incomplete, in bounds or out, would take up the same “time” as a running play. On the other hand, an 18 play, all run, death-march drive would take up half a quarter instead of 60 to 65 percent of one.
    2. High tempo offenses wouldn’t get more plays. A high tempo offense would still have advantages, but adding extra possessions onto the game isn’t one of them.
    3. The end of half/game would change dramatically.
      • If you have the lead, 1st down and 4 or left on the play counter, you can take a knee (or 4). Much easier to figure out when you can go to victory formation.
      • Time outs aren’t for stopping the clock, they would be used like they are in the first half, to avoid confusion or to give a team a rest. We could probably reduce the number of them.
      • The field opens up for comeback offenses. You no longer need to throw sideline routes. The middle of the field is opened up, as is running plays if you think that would be more successful.
      • Clocking the ball goes away. No need to waste a play stopping the clock. In fact, it would be counterproductive.

    There are other ways it would change the game, discuss in the comments.

    What was the point of all this again?

    It was a fun idea I had about a decade ago and have been noodling around with since then. I do think it would make end of games more exciting, without the extra time out breaks and letting teams run whatever play works best. It gets rid of some of the arbitrariness in the rules, especially with the fast vs slow moving referees and the silliness over checking the clock to see if there is 1 second left or not. But it’s not a serious proposal…no wait, yes, it is. This would make football better. It should be done. There are no down sides, in my opinion, and plenty of advantages. You might disagree, but you would be wrong. It will never happen, this is further outside the Overton window than the Single Land Tax. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t a good idea.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwYX52BP2Sk

    While we are on the topic of clocks in football, how about we get a clock that counts down and stops for injuries in soccer?

  • Monday Morning Links

    Sorry Eldrick, the aura isn’t there anymore.  Jack and Bobby, in no particular order since I don’t want to start a fight this morning, are safe atop golf’s Olympus.  You not only didn’t intimidate the field anymore, you lost by 3 to your playing partner, who was as cool as the other side of the pillow coming down the stretch as you were hitting shots that would have been OB had it not been for a couple fortuitously and unaware patrons.  I’m more concerned with Jordan Spieth blowing what was a reasonably good chance to repeat in what has been a trying year.

    Baseball winners were: San Diego, Toronto, Tampa Bay, Pittsburgh, Boston, Washington, LA, KC, the Cubs, Texas,  (of) Anaheim, Oakland, Arizona, Seattle and Philly. New York-New York was rained out.

    And some sad news for our MINNESOOOOODA VIIIIIIKINGS fans, as their offense line coach Tony Sparano unexpectedly died yesterday at the age of 56. Condolences to our Vikes fans and the Sparano family.

    Slash!

    Some famous people born on this date were: baseball player Pee Wee Reese, Supreme Court justice Anthony Kennedy, hurler Don Drysdale, shock jock Don Imus, sax/oboe player Andy McKay, Dutch filmmaker and victim of a terroristic murder Theo Van Gogh, rocker Martin Gore, actor Woody Harrelson , guitarist Slash, dead junkie who left three kids without a father Philip Seymour Hoffman, funny man Marlon Wayans, cigar-holder Monica Lewinsky, and actor Daniel Radcliffe.

    Its also the date on which Napoleon captured Alexandria, the first typewriter (of sorts_ was patented in America, Lou Gehrig hit his first of 23 (23?!?!?!) career grand slams, Italy’s fascist government banned foreign words,  the Germans got their ass kicked at Kursk, VP Richard Nixon visited the Soviet Union, the Beatles “Help!” was released, Classy Fred Blasie won his fifth world wrestling championship, Nixon refused to release the Watergate tapes, Billy Carter admitted to being paid by Libya, and ISIS set off a bomb in Kabul killing 80 people at a protest.

    Weak birthday day, that’s for sure. So let’s move on to…the links!

    Rattle those sabres, boys!

    Some presidents send a theocratic shithole pallets of cash in the middle of the night and some decide to go completely in the opposite direction. You decide which is more prudent. Me? I’ll take peace over either one, which I’m sure is what we will end up with.  After all, the Iranians can only buy so many weapons with the $58 billion in cash and securities they were handed over, so I’m sure Rouhani is just talking shit to appease his base.

    The bangs need to go. This is a better look.

    You know, I thought Toronto was a much longer walk from Indiana. Huh, guess I was wrong.

    The Team Blue freakout over the Russian “spy” meeting with the NRA for access will likely blow over now.  Unless they want to explain why she was actually meeting with high-ranking officials from the Obama admin in 2015.

    So the FISA warrant application was released with a lot of it retracted.  But it sure looks to me like it completely supports the GOP claim that essentially all of the evidence used was the Steele dossier that was completely funded by the DNC and the Clinton campaign (by way of a lawyer to avoid FEC oversight), although that detail was conspicuously left out of the document.  And Brennan himself even said that it was all done at Obama’s behest…although that won’t see much airplay except over at Fox.  All these bastards involved should at a minimum be fired for falsifying a warrant application by claiming that all sources and sub-sources had been vetted for accuracy and identified. Because they had to know that was a lie.

    Another example of the great racial tolerance of the Bay Area liberals? Or just a busybody neighbor? You decide.  Although in this case, it would appear that the cops and business owner all acted the way civilized people act.

    “Who doesn’t just give away $200k on a Sunday?”

    Look, why would anybody possibly think this had to do with the political campaign? “Its merely a coincidence!” says man who is running for mayor and happens to hand out $200,000 in cash on a Sunday afternoon.  Oh, Chicago. Never change!

    It looks like the Senate is about to confirm Robert Wilkie as the Secretary of Veterans Affairs. Let’s see if he can fix that dysfunctional and corrupt place.

    You can criticize the song if you wish. But there was only one choice for the artist.  Aw fuck it, he deserves a second one.

    That’s it for me this week.  I’m gonna be in Cincy the next few days and then Phoenix through next Tuesday.  But I’ll be checking in from time to time.  So have a great week, friends!

  • SEA SMITH’S SUNDAY EVENING LINKS

    SEA SMITH TAKE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FISH ON VACATION. CRUISE LINE SAY “NO”… SEA SMITH REGISTER OBJECTIONS.

     

    SEA SMITH NOT HAPPY. HE TRY TAKE RELAXING CRUISE. BUT SHIP PEOPLE SAY “NO BRING UGLY FISH” – SEA SMITH EXPLAIN IT EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL…NO WORK. SEA SMITH NO GO ON CRUISE. TRY RELAXING NEAR SEA LION COLONY (BY RELAXING, MEAN RAPE SEA LIONS). BUT NO ALL YOU CAN EAT SEAFOOD BUFFET OR LOUNGE ACTS….SO SEA SMITH NOT HAPPY.

    BUT HE HAPPY TO GIVE LINKS! SO HERE ARE GOOD LINKS TO TALK ABOUT:

    1. SEA SMITH UNHAPPY ABOUT NOT GO ON SHIP, BUT NOT AS CRAZY AS HOOMAN ON SUBWAY. SEA SMITH NO SWIM UP HUDSON. NYC CRAZY!
    2. SEA SMITH REMEMBER SOMETHING ABOUT “MOTHER OF ALL BATTLES” – IT NOT GO GOOD FOR CRAZY DICTATOR….SO WHY ANOTHER ONE SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
      WHAT YOU SAY?

       

    3. SILLY HOOMANS. IT EASIER IF ASK SEA SMITH TO DO IT FOR YOU! SEA SMITH LIKE MINES, THEY TICKLE WHEN GO BOOM.
    4. SEA SMITH VERY CONFUSE. HIM HEAR ALL THINGS FROM NEW PRESIDENT MEXICO… BEFORE ELECTION, HIM BURP WHOLE INTERNATIONALE AND WEAR HAMMER AND SICKLE UNDERWEAR…NOW, THIS?!

    SEA SMITH HOPE YOU HAVE GOOD NIGHT – HIM GO AND HAVE BEERS WITH FRIEND NINGEN. HIM ONLY SAY “BLOOP” SO NO ARGUMENTS!

    BLOOP!

  • Spontaneous Cooking: Salads

    Back in May, I discussed how to make dressing – the most low stakes item you could make. Today, I’d like to talk about what you should put that dressing on. I showed you a wedge salad and provided recipes for both a spinach salad and a green salad.

    Green Salads

    Let’s start by thinking about what makes a great green salad. A great salad should be colorful, have a variety of textures and a balance of flavors: salty, sweet, sour, bitter and savory or umami. Think about the classic salads like a Caesar salad or a spinach salad or a Greek salad. The Caesar has the green of the lettuce, the crunch of the croutons and the creamy dressing. The anchovies and parmesan add a touch of salt and savory. The spinach salad has crispy lettuce, soft eggs and crunchy bacon. Both the mushrooms and bacon add umami. The Greek salad is colorful and gives a wide variety of tastes with the salty feta, lettuce, onions, and oily and slightly bitter olives.

    I think the green salad recipe I gave you in the salad dressing post is a nice template for a good salad. It has the green and dull red lettuce and the bright, sweet cherry tomatoes. The pine nuts add some crunch and the dressing is a touch sour from the lemon.

    Keep these things in mind as you make a green salad. I like to use a mix of lettuces. Adding radicchio adds a pronounced touch of bitterness. To counter that, I often add dried fruit – raisins, dried cherries, or dried cranberries, even sun-dried tomatoes. I also like to play around with crunchy elements like nuts or roasted chickpeas (Drain a can and toss with olive oil and spices. Bake in a 400 degree oven until crispy, about 20-30 minutes stirring half way through.) Add shredded carrots, jarred roasted red peppers, or halved cherry or grape tomatoes for a hint of sweetness. I also sometimes add roasted veggies like artichokes or Brussels sprouts. Pickled vegetables work well, I like pickled mushrooms or grapes or cherries.

    Salad Add-ins

    If you want your salad to be a main dish, add roasted chicken or grilled salmon. If you toss in apples, celery and walnuts, it is reminiscent of a Waldorf salad. Capers and olives have a nice briny taste. Add jalapenos, seasoned ground meat and crushed tortilla chips for a taco salad. Cheeses like Parmesan, cheddar and feta all add a bit of umami to the salad. Using a balance of flavors makes you want to take another bite.

    Now that you have all these items, stop a moment and edit. The salad I gave you in the dressing post has one element for bitter (lettuce), one for sweet (tomato), one for umami (Parmesan), and one for sour (dressing). It is pretty minimal. A good salad shouldn’t be something of everything you have in the fridge. I don’t like Cobb salad for this reason. The Greek and chef’s salad are pushing it for me. Just too much stuff. Your line will be different. You should experiment to find it.

    Salads aren’t limited to various lettuce concoctions, of course. Here are two more possibilities.

    Salmon salad

    This salmon salad is inspired by “Eat This Not That” grilled salmon salad. It uses grilled salmon, red onions, and cherry tomatoes, green beans or asparagus (or both, why not), capers, and I add a hard boiled egg.

    Salmon Salad

    First, slice a few red onions and put it in some red wine vinegar. Both red onions and shallots benefit from being soaked in vinegar. It mellows them out. Grill the salmon and either green beans or asparagus. Add a little dijon mustard to the red wine vinegar and onions and whisk. Add salt and pepper to taste. When the salmon and vegetables are done; chop. Add a little extra virgin olive oil to red wine vinegar and whisk. Then add the salmon and grilled vegetables. Lastly, add a few cherry or grape tomatoes and a sliced hard boiled egg and toss. This salad is just as good cold, so I make at least two servings and set some aside to take for lunch.

    Roasted Vegetable Salad

    I also like to make roasted vegetable salads. Again, this is something I actually make more than one serving. Roasted veggies are good both hot and cold, so I eat one serving hot as dinner and take the second serving to work for a lunch. You could also toss in a green salad. Paired with a crusty bread, cheese and a good wine, this is a satisfying summer dinner.

    Roasting Veggies

    I’m always interested in what everyone else is making. Here are two that intrigued me (if I missed including your salad, I apologize).

    Check out Timeloose’s Soba Noodle Salad

    He uses soba noodles, shredded cabbage, carrots, scallions, red peppers and snow peas and dresses it with a peanut butter dressing made of peanut butter, soy sauce, siracha and vinegar. It’s been added to my rotation. I am in love with this. It offers so many possibilities for experimentation. It’s delicious, as is, but, of course, I can’t resist experimenting with it. So far, I have added leftover pork to the noodles and garlic and fresh grated ginger to the dressing.

    Western Sloper’s Simple Summer Salad uses peeled and sliced cucumbers, halved cherry tomatoes, red onion, kosher salt, olive oil and sumac. Serve chilled. I’m going to have to go to the middle eastern market and see if I can find sumac. I’ve never tried it before. I recommend salting the onion before mixing in the rest of the ingredients. It will have a similar effect to soaking it in vinegar and remove some of the harshness.

    What are your favorite salads?

  • I Fucking Love Astrology: The Horoscope for the Week of July 22

    Next lab move, I’m going to murder all the pipefitters, do the work myself, write it up as a cost avoidance, and win Employee of the Year.

    But that is/was the week that is/was, we are interested in the Week the Will Be.

    Mars (retrograde)-Terra-Sol:   Ooof.  Not Good.  Mars is always a dick (that’s kind of his thing)

    There is no other p
    This is a spear and shield

    but when he goes retrograde, he’s pure asshole.  Then when you add the Earth (source of all evil) and empower the whole thing with the Sun, bad things happen.  And I don’t mean “bad things” in the whole “tee hee, I’ve been a bad boy and need spanking” way, I mean legitimately bad in a Saw III fanfic sort of way.  Then when you put Mars in Aquarius (source of plenty) and you wind up with destruction of valuables, loss of income, and warranties voided.  Looking at the other end of the alignment, we see the Sun in Cancer (keeper of secrets) so expect a covert attack leading to the above disaster (fun fact:  “disaster” is an astrological term).

    Is there any good news?  Well, kind of.   The conjunction of Luna with Jupiter in Scorpio indicates a breakthrough in medicine, so that’s nice, though not necessarily applicable to any one in particular.  Weight gain is indicated (that’s bad) because of particularly tasty baked goods (that’s good) and everyone’s love life should remain stable (that’s good, unless your lonely in which case that’s bad).  With all this equivocation, you’d think there would be some activity in Libra, but there’s not.

    Enjoy your day in the sun, Cancers.  It’s fast coming to an end (where did this month go?)  More political news is indicated, though that’s one of those signs that you feel embarrassed at reading (you’d expect that Mercury would be somehow stuck in Leo for the next couple of years, but that won’t happen.  It will be there longer than normal though — tune in next week to see the shocking news why!)

    Both groovy, and reminiscent of one who did not cross over:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3R0wNGa8kuw

    [Editor’s note: This post went up late, for which we profusely apologize, because we are a bunch of fucking morons.]