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  • Wednesday Morning Links

    Middle of the week and I feel like I’ve already done 50 hours of work with no end in sight.  Ugh.  Well at least I am not affiliated with the Arizona Diamondbacks. They’ve had a longer week than me so far. And yes, that means they lost to the Cubs…who shared the winning yesterday with: Toronto, New York (AL), Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, the MINNESOOOOOODA TWIIIIIINS!, Washington, St Louis, Cincinnati, Tampa Bay, Anaheim, Los Angeles, San Francisco and the world champion Houston Astros.

    Nice win!

    UCL got off to a rousing start as Liverpool took down PSG 3-2. Elsewhere, Inter beat Spurs and the other winners were Barca, Athletico, Borussia Dortmund, and Galatasary. Red Star Belgrade and Naples drew, as did Schalke and Porto. Another slate of games today with the two Manchester teams in action as well as Juve, Real, and Bayern. Enjoy.

    I also started noticing preseason hockey scores this morning. Holy shit, this offseason has flown by.

    Give that man a hand for a great career and life.

    Today’s famous birthdays are: Lord Of The Flies author William Golding, baseball player Duke Snider, overly-dramatic James Lipton, Batman actor Adam West, Beatles manager Brian Epstein, singer Cass Elliot, Reds legend Joe Morgan, actor Jeremy Irons, “Innocence Project” founder (and here) Barry Scheck, rocker Lita Ford, “comedian” Jimmy Fallon, playmate of the year Victoria Silverstead, and inspirational one-handed MLB pitcher Jim Abbott.

    Major shit that went down on this date include: George Washington gave his presidential farewell address, the first carpet sweeper was patented, the San Siro opened with a match between AC and Inter, Charlie Chaplin was barred re-entry to the United States, Juan Peron fled Argentina, Disneyland told Nikita Khrushchev to fuck off, The Mary Tyler Moore show hit the small screen, Fawlty Towers (which couldn’t be made today) also premiered, “Goodfellas” hit the big screen, and the Unabomber’s manifesto was published by the NYT and Washington Post.

    Ok, on to…the links!

    You might want to sit this one out, you old hag.

    I’ve heard tone-deaf statements before. We all have.  But this, my fellow Glibs, might take the award for most tone-deaf statement ever made. Oh yeah, she went there.  Also, a Senator said men need to shut up and do the right thing. And by “right thing”, she means do what Team Blue wants them to do without any evidence to support the position of this eleventh hour accusation that was sat on for months. Meanwhile, the Senator who released the accusation said she’s not even sure the woman is telling the truth.  Oh yeah, and the accuser wants an FBI probe (into what is not a federal crime) before she even agrees to testify. TL/DR: its a shitshow of social signaling.

    Los Angeles is home to tens of thousands of homeless, has a serious problem with affordable housing, has cops that treat people like shit with impunity, carries unsustainable public debt, and has a host of other problems because of over-regulation. But give them credit for tackling the most important issues. Christ, what a bunch of assholes.

    Looks like the Catholic Church is starting to acknowledge their massive failings when it comes to exposing kids to rapists.  I hope these payments continue until the Church starts to understand their mission and responsibilities again. And I hope they come out on the other side a lot more humble.

    Move along, people. There’s nothing to see here. Huh, I guess WaPo and the NYT took that seriously since they didn’t report on this at all.  Democracy dies in darkness, my ass.

    San Francisco would rather there be a bum shitting in the street than for these people to make what the market will bear.

    Wait a minute. According to the left, this kind of thing never happens. Well, if it does, it only happens to greedy 1%ers who deserve it.

    Looks like Van Dyke’s lawyers have found their defense strategy. If it works, you can go ahead and completely kiss equal justice away in Chicago. Not that its really existed in a while but you can kiss it away for good.  And you can go ahead and plan for the National Guard to be needed for the riots that will come.

    You know, there’s a simple way to avoid these kinds of lawsuits. Stop letting government pick winners and losers and allow the market to flourish. Too bad that never occurs to busybody progressives who think the top men are better at planning our lives and choices than we are.

    Florida Man needs to learn to selectively tell the truth. Or to tell people what he’s doing is none of their goddamn business.  Also, his kid is now disqualified from ever serving on the Supreme Court as a GOP-nominated jurist.

    You know how when cops arrest someone they tend to overcharge them and pile on extra shit? Well, here is the opposite happening. See if you can guess why.

    Here’s the song for the day. God, music used to be so good.

    Go have a great middle of your week, friends!

     

  • Tuesday Afternoon Links

    Hey guys, how’s your day going. Mine went to “Microsoft doesn’t support native data integrations for a very key feature of one of its flagship products” hell just after the swag post. So… it looks like I’m pulling an all-nighter to write something that should already exist. Hoofuckin’-ray. I mean, this is literally why they pay me good money, but goddam I’m ready to not make a living in the “our shit works 90% the way it should and 10% in the most fucked up manner possible” space.

    Also, its a pretty slow links day.

    Somehow, in the action movies, it never quite ends like this when you drive a car out onto the runway.

    Los Angeles, having solved all of their other problems and being a perfect city, has turned their attention to a ban on fur products. Hey, we haven’t had a good cop beatdown in years in LA, so… progress?

    Is it really sexist that Apple made an iPhone too big for Trump’s hands?

    Good news, comrades, now we will combine “living in your car” with “autonomous vehicles” to produce the “self-driving home”. I feel like medium-famous bands have been doing this for 50 years.

     

    I can’t help it, I’m angry again.

  • Swag Reminder

    A serious shoutout to our biggest financial supporter: Egould. Buddy, you’re keeping the site running.

    Need a piece of clothing guaranteed to scare the kids at Halloween, piss off your family at Thanksgiving, or to gift the people you hate over the holidays?

    STEVE SMITH SAY RELAX

    We’ve got Hat & Hair products

    We’ve got STEVE SMITH products

    We’ve got all sorts of products featuring our fucking awesome logo

    And look. We had our quarterly board meeting the other night. We’re not operating on a hookers and blow budget. We’re not operating on a meth and lot bunnies budget. We’re operating on a suck your dick under the highway overpass for spare change budget. Every product you buy is one less dick we have to suck to keep this place running.


    All joking aside, we’ll always find a way to keep the lights on here, but if you’ve enjoyed something, this is one way to show the love. And generate new Tulpas. And be recognized by other closet glibertarians if you live in the Minnesota/North Dakota or LA area.

    As a reminder, it is the policy of the board who operates this website donates any money above what is needed to operate the site for a prudent amount of time (I think six months, but I forgot to check) to a worthy charity each year. Last year it was Institute for Justice and FIRE who got our money. We will run some options by you right after Thanksgiving to make donations for next year. So there’s another reason to buy swag.


    UPDATE: This page will remain up until 3:20 CDT so the afternoon links participants can all see our pitiful begging at the top of the page. After that, there will be… LINKS!

  • You Looking at Me?

    It’s a pity that, “Why don’t you take a picture? It’ll last longer” doesn’t translate into anything but gibberish in Japanese. The old fart at the coffee shop is staring at me. Normal people here look away once you bust them ogling you like Steven Gawking, but not these old guys. They’re bored and going to the coffee shop and people watching is their low cost entertainment. My initial reaction is to tell Mr. Miyagi that I don’t want to learn the crane technique and I’m glad his wife died. That is just an evil first thought, so I default to what I usually do in these situations; give the guy the benefit of the doubt.

    So what possible reason could Miyagi have for this atrocious behavior? Maybe his wife really did die and his only connection to humanity is these brief moments with strangers. Maybe his eyes are shot and, while I made eye contact, he simply saw a blob of whiteness sitting across from him. Maybe he’s been fucked by a system that promised him respect after decades of busting his ass at work, but, once he retired, they changed the rules and everyone makes jokes at his expense. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t give a shit about the rules.

    I just fucking hate being stared at. Let me think about that. Why? Maybe it’s because I’m a middle child with five siblings. In our family it was prison rules; if you’re staring, you wanna fight. Damn. That’s more an indictment of my faulty interpretation of the situation than it is a critique of Miyagi’s lack of social grace. Would I have gleefully accepted the gaze of a geezer 40 years later if I hadn’t been raised with psychos?

    To me, the benefit of the doubt doesn’t mean giving the other person a generous interpretation of their behavior. It’s about questioning the little story I’ve concocted to justify why I feel the way I do. FFS, I love the look of pretty young things when I’m the object of a crisp glance. If I was having a cup of coffee and a 7 foot 5 inch guy sat across from me, I’d probably stare, too.

    I can’t say why they do it, but Japanese people tend to give you the benefit of the doubt through their reactions, if not their thoughts. Maybe they do want to kick your ass when you bump into them on the sidewalk, but a “sumimasen” flies from their lips instead. Different culture and it seems to work because they have much fewer problems in the social sphere than we do.

    My brother and I were having a jolly conversation on the train a few years back. We got to his station and he got off so I made some stupid faces at him through the window as the train chugged past him on the platform. This pissed off some tiny old man on the train, and he extended his arm so his palm was an inch from my face and held it there.

    Somewhat crowded train, so I couldn’t squeeze out of the way. I told him in polite Japanese to move his hand. Nope. Second warning. Nope. Finally, I snapped, grabbed his wrist and forced his arm down by his side. “Raise it again and I’m going to fucking kill you.” (No, I’m not teaching you how to say that in Japanese). He stood there quaking because my face was filled with rage.

    Fuck. What am I doing? “I’m sorry. It’s dangerous to have your hand there. The train sometimes stops suddenly.” That wasn’t enough, evidently, because he was still trembling. “We were drinking and may have been talking too loudly. Sorry about that.” At that he apologized to me. By the time we arrived at my station twenty minutes later, I had seen pictures he pulled from his wallet of his wife and kids. In my hand I had his business card with the location of the izakaya he ran. We shook hands as I got off the train.

    When I was walking to the escalator a 20 something kid I tapped me on the forearm. “That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. Good job.” He’d seen the whole the interaction on the train. I wasn’t proud of yanking the old fart’s wrist and maybe I had been acting obnoxiously on the train earlier. I was proud that I gave the old fart the benefit of the doubt and, at least in this case, that caused him to reciprocate with giving me the benefit of the doubt. I never went to his izakaya, though. He was an asshole, but even assholes deserve the benefit of the doubt from time to time.

  • Tuesday Morning Links

    Hope your week has gotten off to a good start.  Mine’s been hellish already. Although I’m still relishing the Buckeyes game against TCU over the weekend that I went to with my daughter.And speaking of sports, the Bears beat the Seahawks last night. And your baseball winners were: Toronto, New York (NL), Pittsburgh, Minnesota, Miami, St Louis, Milwaukee, Tampa, Seattle, Chicago, Los Angeles and San Francisco.

    Big match today

    UCL group play begins today. Some compelling matches on the slate.  Enjoy them if you’re lucky enough to catch them today.

    Famous 9/18 birthdays include: Roman Emperor Trajan, actress Greta Garbo, hockey coaching legend Scotty Bowman, comedian Fred Willard, singer/actor Frankie Avalon, guitarist Kerry Livgren, hockey goon Darryl Sittler, Doobie Brother Mike Hossack, scumbag basketball coach Rick Pitino, baseball legend Ryne Sandberg, the late, great James Gandolfini, uniballed steroid aficionado Lance Armstrong, actress Jada Pinkett Smith and the lovely Aisha Tyler.

    “Here you go world. You’re welcome.”

    Big happenings on this date include: George Washington laid the cornerstone (he was a mason after all) for the Capitol building, the New York Times started its run (and I’m sure they were spoiling for some kind of war in their first edition), Booker T Washington gave his “Atlanta Compromise” address, “A Streetcar Named Desire” hit the silver screen, the first Visa cards were mailed out, “The Addams Family” hit the small screen, Momofuko Ando marketed the first Cup Of Noodles (and should have won the Nobel Prize for it), the FBI captured Patty Hearst, the disgusting human being Mao Zedong’s funeral was held, KISS appeared on MTV “unmasked”…and still sucked, Hurricane Hugo landed in Puerto Rico, and Ted Turner pissed away a billion dollars by donating it to the United Nations.

    That all for that. Now…the links!

    As she prepares to sit before the Senate Judiciary Committee, Christine Blasey Ford’s attorney says its not up to her to corroborate her own claims. And since nobody else seems to be coming forward to recall the smallest of details contemporaneously, then I guess the left will just have to take her at her word.

    Trump to declassify tons of documents…media predictably goes into a rage.

    President Trump ordered the federal government to declassify most of the FISA documents, text messages and other correspondence related to the Russia “probe”. Many in the media decry the release of the documents. You know, because they …wait, what? The media are upset that more information is being released to the public about an important news story?  Yeah, that makes a lot of fucking sense.

    A Japanese billionaire will be the first tourist to travel around the moon. He will also be the first non-American to do so.  Because 24 Americans have already done so.  Without the fucking metric system, by the way.

    Americans commute times to work keep getting longer. Yeah, you’d almost think people are willing to drive further in to work just to not have to live in an urbanized place.  Wow, what a shock.  Meanwhile, progressives are attempting to herd everybody into cities by ruining infrastructure for drivers and replace as much of it as they can by mass transit and idiotic cycling lanes.

    Piece of shit murdering bastard

    It’s starting to look like there might actually be justice in the Jason Van Dyke trial. Several other cops played down the threat Laquan McDonald allegedly posed Van Dyke yesterday. Let’s hope the jury were paying attention.

    Not sure why the “unlicensed” part of this matters at all.  But I sure hope they fry this sonofabitch if he’s guilty.

    Well, so much for personal responsibility.  This is completely fucked up. I have nothing else to add.

    I may have played this in the last year, but here it is anyway.

    Have a great day, friends.

  • Peach Raspberry Crisp

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    Web Dominatrix sends her apologies. She’s crazy busy finishing up websites for a couple new clients. And these are ladies you do NOT want to disappoint (unless you’re into that sort of thing).

    So, you’re stuck with me as a last minute substitute. Sorry, kids.

    I thought I’d post one of my favorite vegan recipes. I’ve been making this regularly since last summer (2017) and I really could just eat the entire pan by myself.

    Except it would be wrong not to share.

    Right?

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    This recipe comes from America’s Test Kitchen cookbook Vegan for Everybody, which both Web Dom and I have mentioned before.

    You may sub 1-3/4 pounds frozen peaches for the fresh. Make sure you thaw completely before using.

    Peach Raspberry Crisp

    Filling

    • 2-1/2 pounds peaches (peeled, halved, pitted and cut into 1/2 inch wedges)
    • 1/4 cup organic sugar
    • 1/8 tsp salt
    • 2 tbsp instant tapioca (finely ground)
    • 1 tbsp lemon juice
    • 1 tsp vanilla extract
    • 10 ounces raspberries

    Topping

    • 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
    • 1/4 cup organic brown sugar
    • 1/4 cup organic sugar
    • 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
    • 1/4 tsp ground ginger
    • 1/4 tsp salt
    • 1/4 cup coconut oil (melted and cooled)
    • 1/2 cup old-fashioned rolled oats
    • 1/2 cup pecans (chopped)
    • 2 tbsp water

    For the Filling

    1. Adjust oven rack to upper-middle position and heat oven to 400 degrees. Gently toss peaches with sugar and salt in bowl and let sit, stirring occasionally, for 30 minutes. Drain peaches in colander set inside bowl; reserve 2 tablespoons juice and discard extra.

    2. Return drained peaches to bowl and toss with reserved juice, ground tapioca, lemon juice, and vanilla. Transfer to 8-inch square baking dish, press gently into an even layer, then top with raspberries.

    For the Topping

    1. Meanwhile, process flour, brown sugar, granulated sugar, cinnamon, ginger, and salt in food processor until combined, about 15 seconds. Add melted oil and pulse until mixture resembles wet sand, about 10 pulses. Add oats, pecans, and water and pulse until mixture forms marble-size clumps and no loose flour remains, about 15 pulses. Refrigerate mixture for at least 15 minutes.

    2. Sprinkle topping evenly over fruit, breaking into 1/2 inch pieces as necessary. Bake until topping is well browned and fruit is bubbling around edges, 30 to 35 minutes, rotating dish halfway through baking. Transfer to wire rack and let cool for at least 30 minutes. Serve warm.

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  • Monday Afternoon Links – Kavanaugh-Free Edition

    Coca-Cola ‘in talks’ over cannabis-infused drinks

    According to Canada’s BNN Bloomberg , the drinks giant is in talks with local producer Aurora Cannabis about developing marijuana-infused beverages.

    These would not aim to intoxicate consumers but to relieve pain.

    The firm declined to comment but said it was watching the cannabis drinks market closely.

    “Along with many others in the beverage industry, we are closely watching the growth of non-psychoactive cannabidiol as an ingredient in functional wellness beverages around the world,” Coca-Cola said in a statement.

    Cannabidiol, a constituent of cannabis, can help ease inflammation, pain and cramping, but has no psychoactive effect.

    It comes as Canada prepares to follow certain US states in legalising cannabis for recreational use, after years of permitting it for medicinal purposes.

    It has given rise to a large pot growing industry and some high-profile partnerships.

    Earlier this year, beer giant Molson Coors Brewing said it would make cannabis-infused drinks with Hydropothecary, while Corona-beer maker Constellation Brands invested $4bn more into pot firm Canopy Growth.

    A partnership between Coke and Aurora would mark the first entry of a major manufacturer of non-alcoholic drinks into the market.

    A little caffeine, a little weed, maybe some dark rum to mellow it all out…


    Who Started the Trump Tapes Emmys Party Brawl?

    On Sunday evening the tension building between Mark Burnett and Tom Arnold broke into physical violence, although it’s unclear who initiated the escalation.

    The brawl took place at the “Evening Before Emmy” party which was a fundraiser for the Motion Picture Television Fund, and both parties are claiming that they fended off unprovoked attacks.

    Here’s Arnold’s tweet claiming on twitter that Burnett “went apeshit” and “choked” him:

    Tom Arnold
    Mark Burnett just went apeshit & choked me at this huge Emmy party then he ran away with his torn Pink shirt & missing gold chain. I’m waiting for LAPD

    Roma Downey, Burnett’s wife, tweeted her own account, claiming that Arnold had planned the altercation, and posting a photo of a bruise as evidence:

    Roma Downey
    Got this bruise tonight when Tom Arnold tried to ambush my husband Mark and me at a charity event. Is your TV show worth it Tom? Please stop

    Alt Headline: Tom Arnold Bad Touched An Angel

    Alt-Alt Headline: Idiots Scuffle over Stupid Shit


    Elon Musk wants Tesla to do collision repairs in-house, blames outside shops for long wait times

    Tesla CEO and Chairman Elon Musk on Sunday said the electric vehicle maker will soon bring most collision repairs in-house — a promise he first made during the company’s annual shareholder meeting in June.

    In a series of tweets on Sunday, Musk blamed outside shops for taking too long to complete repairs.

    Specifically, Musk wrote: “Tesla is bringing most collision repairs in-house, as outside firms take weeks to months for repairs, driving Tesla owners (and us) crazy.”

     

    Elon Musk sued by the cave rescue diver he called a ‘pedo guy’ and ‘child rapist’

    Tesla CEO Elon Musk has been sued for libel and slander by the rescue diver he called a “pedo guy” and “child rapist,” according to the lawsuit filed in a U.S. district court in California.

    British cave explorer Vernon Unsworth filed a lawsuit against Musk on Monday in a U.S. District Court in California for defamation. Unsworth is seeking at least $75,000 in compensatory damages, as well as an injunction against Musk requiring him to “refrain from making further publication of the False and Defamatory Accusations,” according to court documents.

    “Elon Musk falsely accused Vern Unsworth of being guilty of heinous crimes,” L. Lin Wood, attorney representing Vernon Unsworth, said in a statement. “Musk’s influence and wealth cannot convert his lies into truth or protect him from accountability for his wrongdoing in a court of law.”

    Tesla briefly dips, then goes positive, after Saudi wealth fund invests $1 billion in competitor Lucid Motors

    Tesla stock dipped as much as 2 percent Monday morning on news the Saudi Arabia’s sovereign wealth fund has invested $1 billion in rival Lucid Motors.

    By early afternoon, Tesla regained its footing, gaining 1.2 percent.

    The investment will fund Lucid Motor’s 2020 commercial launch of its first electric vehicle, the Lucid Air, Reuters reported.

    Tesla CEO Elon Musk had previously touted conversations with the Saudi fund as key in considerations to take Tesla private. Musk cited a potential Saudi investment as justification for his take-private tweet in early August and claim that the necessary funding had been secured. After an uproar, Musk and Tesla eventually ended their plans to go private.


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpYCFjsl7j8

  • Mormons in the Mist: Had for Good or Evil

    The Prophet Joseph Smith[i]

     

    33 He called me by name, and said unto me that he was a messenger sent from the presence of God to me, and that his name was Moroni; that God had a work for me to do; and that my name should be had for good and evil among all nations, kindreds, and tongues, or that it should be both good and evil spoken of among all people.

    Joseph Smith – History 1:33

    The first installment of the Mormons in the Mist articles can be found here. This is part one of a subseries on the history of the Church. This article covers Joseph’s life through the translation of the Book of Mormon.


     
    You cannot discuss The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints without dealing with Joseph Smith, Jr.

    People who know nothing else about the Church know two things: Polygamy and Joe Smith’s Golden Bible. There have been many biographies written about him, from every angle. The best of these of which I am aware is Richard L. Bushman’s 2005 Joseph Smith Rough Stone Rolling. Dr. Bushman acknowledges Joseph’s shortcomings without sliding into a warts-only version and describes his life without becoming hagiographic.

    So, who was Joseph Smith, Jr? To the believing members of the Church, he is the Prophet of the Restoration. A seer and revelator who restored the gospel of Jesus Christ to the earth, founded the Church under the direction of God, and was martyred for his beliefs. His critics say he was a con man and a fake.

    Joseph Smith, Jr. started life as a farm boy. He was born 23 December 1805 in Sharon, Vermont to Joseph Smith Sr. and Lucy Mack Smith. He was the 5th of 11 children (of whom 9 lived to adulthood). When Joseph was 9, the family moved to Palmyra, New York and, four years later, to the nearby town of Manchester.[ii] This positioned the family perfectly for the Second Great Awakening. When he was 14 the wave of religious revivalism swept over the area and the Smith family was caught up in it. Confused by the contention, he followed the advice of James[iii] and prayed for wisdom.

    Joseph reported the results of this prayer:

    I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me.

    17 […] When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!

    Joseph Smith – History 1:16-17

    In this vision of the Father and the Son, known as the First Vision, Joseph was instructed not to join any church at that time. A few days later, he mentioned the visitation to a local minister who contemptuously dismissed it as being of the devil and said, “that all such things had ended with the apostles.” Telling the story also “excited a great deal of prejudice against me among the professors of religion[.]”[iv]

    The Golden Plates

    Three years later, he had another visitation[v]. This time the messenger identified himself as Moroni and told the seventeen-year-old prophet about a book of gold plates containing the history of past inhabitants of the Americas. Moroni instructed Joseph through the night, and the next morning Joseph made his way to where the plates were hidden. In a stone box with the plates were a breastplate and two stones connected in the fashion of old fashioned spectacles. The stones were called a Urim and Thummim and were referred to as “interpreters”. He made an unsuccessful attempt to retrieve the contents of the box and was told to return every year for the next four years to receive more instruction.

    Over the course of the next four years, Joseph returned for instruction each year. Among other jobs, he hired on for a month in 1825 to assist a man who was looking for old Spanish silver mines in the area. While engaged in this, he boarded with the family of Isaac Hale, where he met his future wife Emma (Isaac’s daughter). They were married (against the wishes of her family) in January 1827.

    On 22 September 1827, Joseph went to receive his yearly instruction, and Moroni gave him the plates. Behind the relatively bland tale in the canonical version, there is a bit more which Dr. Bushman relates. ‘The angel had commanded Joseph to come to the hill on September 22. To be precise in his compliance and still throw off meddlers who knew of the date, Joseph chose to go to Cumorah in the dead of night, almost the minute September 22 arrived. Around twelve o’clock Joseph came into the room to ask if his mother had a chest with a lock and key. Knowing at once why he wanted it, Lucy was upset when she was unable to provide one. “Never mind,” Joseph assured her. “I can do very well for the present without it – be calm – all is right.” Minutes later Emma passed through the room in her bonnet and riding dress, and Lucy heard the two of them drive off in Joseph Knight’s wagon.’[vi]

    Joseph, Emma, and the plates did not make it home before breakfast. Lucy (Joseph’s mother), covered for them until they returned. Joseph did not bring the plates home at all that day. He hid them in a birch log which he had hollowed out.[vii] In order to make money to pay a cabinet maker to make a box in which to keep the plates safe, Joseph left the next day for Macedon where he was hired to dig a well.

    Along with the plates came a warning that he was “responsible for them; that if I should let them go carelessly, or through any neglect of mine, I should be cut off[.]”[viii] Why such elaborate measures, and such a strict charge? The day after Joseph left for Macedon, his family learned of a plot to find and steal the plates: “[Joseph’s father] learned that ten or twelve men working with Willard Chase were conspiring to find the plates, and had sent for a conjuror sixty miles away whom they believed could discover the hiding place.”[ix] Emma went for Joseph, who left the well and returned quickly to the Smith farm. He then left to retrieve the plates from their hiding place. On the way back from the hiding place, he wrapped the plates in a frock he had been wearing while digging and carried them under his arm. He carried the plates (estimated to weigh between 40 and 50 pounds) that way the three miles back to the farm. Joseph was assaulted three times on the way home but made it back intact except for a dislocated thumb. Over the next several weeks, several groups of people searched for the plates but never found them.[x]

    In order to escape the attacks, Joseph and Emma left Manchester in late fall 1827 and went to Harmony, Pennsylvania to live on her father’s land. There, Joseph settled down to the work of learning how to translate the plates – at the same time providing for his pregnant wife. As part of the process, he copied some characters from the plates and translated them using the Urim and Thummim.

    The Translation of the Book of Mormon

    In February 1828 Martin Harris, a Palmyra farmer who had helped the Smiths escape, paid a visit. He took the copied characters and the translations to Dr. Charles Anthon in New York. Harris related to Joseph what happened:

    64 “I went to the city of New York, and presented the characters which had been translated, with the translation thereof, to Professor Charles Anthon, a gentleman celebrated for his literary attainments. Professor Anthon stated that the translation was correct, more so than any he had before seen translated from the Egyptian. I then showed him those which were not yet translated, and he said that they were Egyptian, Chaldaic, Assyriac, and Arabic; and he said they were true characters. He gave me a certificate, certifying to the people of Palmyra that they were true characters, and that the translation of such of them as had been translated was also correct. I took the certificate and put it into my pocket, and was just leaving the house, when Mr. Anthon called me back, and asked me how the young man found out that there were gold plates in the place where he found them. I answered that an angel of God had revealed it unto him.

    65 “He then said to me, ‘Let me see that certificate.’ I accordingly took it out of my pocket and gave it to him, when he took it and tore it to pieces, saying that there was no such thing now as ministering of angels, and that if I would bring the plates to him he would translate them. I informed him that part of the plates were sealed, and that I was forbidden to bring them. He replied, ‘I cannot read a sealed book.’ I left him and went to Dr. Mitchell, who sanctioned what Professor Anthon had said respecting both the characters and the translation.”[xi]

    Harris returned to his farm in Palmyra, but returned to Harmony in mid-April. He became Joseph’s scribe as the work of translation continued. Joseph would dictate the translation (obtained through the interpreters) to Martin, who sat on the far side of a curtain which kept him from seeing the plates. By mid-June, they had a manuscript of 116 pages hand-written on foolscap. At this point, Martin – hoping to have something tangible to show his wife – asked to be allowed to take the manuscript home and show it to her. [xii]

    Joseph made the request to the Lord and was told no. Martin persisted, and was told no a second time. The third time, the Lord gave permission on the condition that only Martin’s wife, his brother, his parents, and his wife’s sister could see the manuscript.[xiii] Harris left for Palmyra, manuscript in hand.[xiv]

    Two weeks passed with no word from Harris and Joseph began to wonder about the manuscript. Emma encouraged him to go check up on Martin, so Joseph went to his parents’ house in Manchester. When he arrived, a message was sent to Martin, who was expected for breakfast at eight. Martin did not arrive as expected. He finally appeared at twelve-thirty. Joseph’s mother Lucy reports: “[W]e saw him walking with a slow and measured tread towards the house, his eyes fixed thoughtfully upon the ground. On coming to the gate, he stopped instead of passing through and got upon the fence, and sat there some time with his hat drawn over his eyes.”[xv] Martin had not kept his word, and the manuscript was gone.

    The Lord, as you might expect, was not pleased. Martin’s role in the translation of the plates ended. He also withdrew Joseph’s gift of translation until the following Spring. When He restored it, He informed the prophet that the pages were still out there in the hands of people who did not want Joseph to succeed and that to fulfill this goal they had altered the manuscript so that when the section was re-translated, they could publish the altered original and say that Joseph was a fraud.[xvi] To frustrate this, the Lord instructed Joseph not to re-translate the same section, but to begin at another point which covered the same events from another angle.[xvii]

    On 5 April 1829 Oliver Cowdery came to visit the Smiths in Harmony. He had been teaching school in Manchester, and heard about Joseph and the plates while residing at Joseph Sr.’s house. Oliver became Joseph’s scribe, and the translation of the plates resumed.[xviii] In May, as the translation progressed, they came across a passage on baptism. Desiring more information from the Lord, they went to the woods to pray. Joseph relates what occurred:

    “68 […] While we were thus employed, praying and calling upon the Lord, a messenger from heaven descended in a cloud of light, and having laid his hands upon us, he ordained us, saying:

    69 Upon you my fellow servants, in the name of Messiah, I confer the Priesthood of Aaron, which holds the keys of the ministering of angels, and of the gospel of repentance, and of baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; and this shall never be taken again from the earth until the sons of Levi do offer again an offering unto the Lord in righteousness.[xix]

    This being told them that he was John the Baptist, and instructed them to baptize one another. He also told them that there was another priesthood, called the Melchizedek priesthood which would be conferred upon them later.[xx]

    We do not have a date for the conferral of the Melchizedek priesthood. Since it has the authority to organize the Church, it is reasonable to assume it was restored between the visitation of John the Baptist and the organization of the Church in April of 1830. The first acknowledgement of the event is in a revelation dated August of 1830.[xxi]

    Continuing persecution required them to relocate at the end of May 1829, this time to the farm of Peter Whitmer Sr. in Fayette, New York. Once there, Oliver and Joseph continued the work of translation and completed it about July 1st.[xxii]

    During the entire time the translation was going on, Joseph was not allowed to display the plates to anyone.[xxiii] In a revelation dated March 1829, Martin Harris was told to repent and humble himself and be patient, and he would be one of the people allowed to see the plates.[xxiv] Once the translation was completed, Oliver Cowdery, Martin Harris, and David Whitmer (the son of the owner of the farm where the translation was completed) received a revelation where, in their own words “And we declare with words of soberness, that an angel of God came down from heaven, and he brought and laid before our eyes, that we beheld and saw the plates, and the engravings thereon[.]”[xxv] An additional eight witnesses (Smith and Whitmer family members) also saw and handled the plates, but did not see an angel.[xxvi]

    Joseph Smith will always be a controversial figure. He founded a church in a log cabin which has grown to over 16 million members. These people believe that he is precisely what he claimed to be – a prophet, seer, and revelator. His critics will tell you that he was a fraud and a charlatan, and that those of us who believe what he said are deluded.

    [i] Photo Credit: www.mormonnewsroom.org

    [ii] Pearl of Great Price Joseph Smith – History 1:3-4

    [iii] James 1:5 KJV

    [iv] Joseph Smith – History 1:21-22

    [v] Joseph Smith – History 1:27-54

    [vi] Bushman, Richard Lyman; Joseph Smith Rough Stone Rolling p 59 internal notes omitted

    [vii] Ibid p 60

    [viii] Joseph Smith – History 1:59

    [ix] Bushman p. 60

    [x] Ibid pp 60 – 62

    [xi] Joseph Smith – History 1:64-65 See also Isaiah 29:11-12

    [xii] Bushman p. 66

    [xiii] ibid

    [xiv] Ibid pp 66 -67

    [xv] Ibid p 67

    [xvi] Doctrine and Covenants 10:10-19

    Personal side note: Those pages are still out there – or were 40 years ago. My father was friends with a man who, at the time this occurred, was a professor of religious studies at BYU. At one point while I was a teenager, this man was in our area giving a talk. After the talk, my father took him out to dinner. In the course of the conversation, the subject of the missing manuscript pages came up, and this man told my father that someone he knew had information on the whereabouts of the manuscript pages. This person had not revealed to my father’s friend where they were or who had them, merely that he had this information.

    [xvii] Doctrine and Covenants 10:30,38-41

    [xviii] Joseph Smith – History 1:66-67

    [xix] Joseph Smith – History 1:68-69

    [xx] Joseph Smith – History 1:70-72

    [xxi] Doctrine and Covenants 27:12

    [xxii] Bushman pp 76-78

    [xxiii] Doctrine and Covenants 5:3

    [xxiv] Doctrine and Covenants 5:23-24

    [xxv] Book of Mormon The Testimony of Three Witnesses

    [xxvi] Book of Mormon The Testimony of Eight Witnesses

  • Monday Morning Links

    Alles klar?

     

    Your Linkings will be Swiss this morning. All in order and timely. The content will be interesting, but not too interesting. Neat and orderly. Pleasant and comfortable.

    Sports were played yesterday. Sports will also occur tonight. People were born on this date, and various events happened.

    Which one of you Glibs is this?

    So – here are your morning links:

    1. Perhaps it was just looking for a pineapple and ham deep dish? Now if we only knew it’s stance on abortion and which Star Trek captain it thought best…
    2. I would be shocked, shocked, I tell you…to find gambling at Rick’s! I do have to wonder what internal controls Amazon has in place to combat this obvious risk.

      Amazon Chief Compliance Officer depicted
    3. Crazy president wants to close entire sector of economy. No, not Obama and energy…No, not Trump and importing. Look here and see.
    4. Remember, you need to listen to your moral betters in the entertainment world!

    Musik Linkings are self service this morning. Good day to you.