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  • Enslaving Yeast – All Grain Beer Part 1 – Malts and Adjuncts

    Enslaving Yeast – All Grain Beer Part 1 – Malts and Adjuncts

    At this point, you may have two batches of mead, a batch of wine, a batch of cider, and a batch of beer fermenting away in your basement.  So, let’s take a step away from making something this week and start going over the main ingredients in beer.

    First, what is malt?  Malting is a process to soften the outer husk of a grain, and allow access to enzymes that break down starches into sugars.  This process has several steps which are:

    1. Germination – The grains are mixed into water in a dark room to begin the germination process.
    2. Kilning – At this point the grain is dried and heated.  The heating will change the quality of the grain making different types of malt (we’ll get to those in a bit)
    3. Cleanup – Now they want to break off the little dried out rootlets that have sprouted, test the malt to check the quality and the specs of this batch.

    Many grains can be malted (including corn, wheat, rice, and oats), but barley is the main one for beer.  Malts can be broken down into a couple of broad families:

    • Base Malts [Diastatic Malt] – These malts have enough diastatic power (measurement of the amount of enzymes present in the malts) to convert the starches in themselves and a certain amount of other malts.  The main ones used in beer are referred to as 2-row and 6-row (based on the structure of the head of barley) with many regional ones being used for specialty beers (Marris Otter – British, Munich – German, Pils – Pilsners).  These can add biscuit and bready notes to the beer.
    • Crystal/Caramel Malts – While the process to make Crystal and Caramel malts is different, the end result is very similar and at the homebrew level the two terms are generally used interchangeable.  These are malts that have been roasted and to force the sugars to be modified into a non-fermentable state. These are referred to by their Lovibond rating (this is a measure of the color, the higher the number, the darker).  These malts will add body, some caramel notes, some sweetness, and (for the darker ones) some roasted notes.
    • Specialty Malts – These are used in small amounts for specific characteristics they can impart to the beer.  Carapils is a popular one that’s said to increase head retention and body, smoked malts have been smoked and add that flavor, chocolate malt will add chocolate notes, roasted barley is non-malted and will add a dark color and roasted flavors.  Technically all Crystal/Caramel malts could be considered specialty malts as well.

    A beer recipe will generally have between 50-75% of the grist (crushed malts) made up of base malts, with the rest being crystal/caramel or specialty malts.  You can also make a beer with nothing but base malts or just a single base malt. The vast majority of the time, you can also freely swap between base malts (although it will change the flavor) in a recipe, unless it’s using a large amount of specialty malts or adjuncts.

    Now that I’ve mentioned adjuncts, I should probably explain them.  When talking about an adjunct in the brewing world, you’re referring to anything that isn’t malted barley (or wheat in some cases), hops, water, and yeast.  So rice, corn, oats, and rye are all adjuncts, as are Candi syrup, table sugar, or fruit juice. Spices, vegetables, fruits, and herbs also qualify. Do adjuncts make a beer bad?  No, forget the Reinheitsgebot.  It was passed to protect the income of nobility who were making wheat beers.  It sets price controls!

    So why use adjuncts?  The main reason is for different qualities that the grain and sugar additions can make.  You want that creamy mouthfeel of an oatmeal stout? You need to use some oats. Want to make a milk stout?  You’ll need to include some lactose (milk sugar). The other is flavor, there’s nothing wrong with a good fruit beer, or a nice spiced porter.  According to a couple of books I’ve read, some of the Belgian breweries (if you drink good beer, you’ve probably had their stuff) use flour as an adjunct in the mash.  And you can’t say the Belgians don’t make good beer.

  • IFLA: The Horoscope for the Week of Dec 23

    Such good news this week!  I’ve mentioned before that most astrological signs are portents of disaster, but this week is extraordinary in that is has three (count ’em!) good signs, and rather fantastically good signs at that.

    Sol-Terra-Luna:  The Son of Man on his throne with the sun in his right hand and the moon in his left.  All things are as they should be.

    Sol-Mercury-Mars:  Good news for fighting folk.  Note that this is tied to the earlier alignment through the Sun (life).  This is pretty much exactly what you want to see if you have a loved one warring.

    Venus-Mercury-Jupiter: Good tidings of great joy.  This relates to the above through Mercury, so there will not only be good news of those mentioned above, but for them as well.  I wonder if it means we’ll hear from Derpetologist.  It could be, the stars did predict the return of IFH after all.

    Military-trusted SCIENCE!
    Another use of proven technology to communicate

    For the rest of the horioscope:

    This week, the sun enters Capricorn.  Expect feasting.

    New moon in Cancer: Secrets and new gains.  Growth, both desired and less so.

    Jupiter and Mercury in Sagittarius.   Predictions come true.  Wish not ill upon others.

    Mars in Pisces: Red and Green.  A major event involving red and green will come to pass this week.

  • Festivus Morning Links

    Festivus Morning Links

    IT’S HERE, IT’S HERE! FESTIVUS!!!!

    And I’m starting the day with a warm glow, partially due to some excellent home-made limoncello, and partially due to watching a delightful upset last night. If New Orleans will cooperate by putting away the Steelers today, all will be well in the universe.

    Auspicious birthdays today include ancestor of quarterbacks and imaginative scrivener Joseph Smith; superb cartoonist and master of simple black lines Otto Soglow; brilliant and flawed trumpeter Chet Baker; Spinal Tap stalwart Harry Shearer; guitar master and twang bar king Adrian Belew; Sloopy’s dreamy hero and former Chicago Bear Jim Harbaugh; and Mr. War Boner himself, Bill Kristol.

    DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS???!!!

    On to news.

     

    Yet another Obama holdover quits in protest of winding down a war his former boss dragged us into. This is my shocked face.

     

    One more reason to be grateful that this mess of evil, corruption, and incompetence didn’t end up being the Commander-in-Chief. 

     

    This is a preview of our inevitable next step in law enforcement and policing. Saves money compared with incarceration. I wish I were joking.

     

    TSA will take a back seat to no-one. Or maybe to everyone. Why is this news? Then again, why does an oppressive and useless agency somehow escape populist wrath? In a just society, there would be uniformed agents dangling from lampposts.

     

    A viral news story with clickbait videos turns out to be a fake. I am astonished, truly astonished. Inconceivable!

     

    This is a sad story, but inspiring to see people’s good works. I’m sure, somehow, the outcome is Trump’s fault.

     

    What’s even stupider than paying attention to trump’s brain lint? Paying attention to the brain lint of entertainers and athletes.

     

    Is there nothing that Climate Change® can’t do? Popcorn at the ready.

     

    Quest Diagnostics sees a potential problem in their business model and reacts accordingly. If there were ever a company I would like to see die, this would be number one on my list.

     

    This is a dumb story, but I’m linking it because the photo will delight Swiss.

     


     

    Old Guy Music features, inevitably, today’s birthday boy, demonstrating that as great as he is on guitar, his vocals and songwriting are in that same class.

  • Coming Attractions & Saturday Night Open Post

    Hey, kids!

    This is short and sweet, because as you can imagine, I’m up to my…neck…in alligators, also known as packing boxes. If I just wanted to throw everything in the house into boxes and move ’em, it’d be an easy process. but I’d like to get rid of a LOT of stuff beforehand. That’s time-consuming. Still waiting on estimates from movers, too.

    This coming week, we have a bit of a change-up re: content. Of course, you’ll still get links, served up by an ever-changing cast of writers, but, most likely OMWC, Brett L, Banjos, and…assorted others.

    Tomorrow, of course, we have Not Adahn’s forecast for the holiday week, and the next in Nephilium’s brewing series.

    Monday, we have the Glibertarians.com traditional re-telling of wchipperdove’s ‘Twas the Night before Glib-Mas! HM has promised a family friendly Christmas Eve treat, as well. (No, really, that’s what he said!)

    Christmas Day, PieInTheSky brings us some festive tunes from Romania, and I think an evening Open Post will be a great opportunity for everyone to de-stress from the loving embrace of family life. Drinks optional.

    Wednesday, Tonio continues The Glibening, Part the Fifth, and SugarFree has a very un-SugarFree like piece in the evening. Thursday we get back to more serious fare, with a post from trshmnstr about Chevron or something, and a philosophical piece from Bob Boberson.

    Friday brings the ever-popular What Are We Reading post, and mexicansharpshooter probably has a review/not review to wrap things up on Saturday.

     

    OK! Time to take a break, eat great pizza, drink wonderful wine, and watch football, even if it is the Ravens.

     

    Now, open my gift to you, the Saturday Night Open Post!

     

     

  • I SAID WE’LL DO IT LIVE

    I SAID WE’LL DO IT LIVE

    By ron7344

    By the way: A 2-outlet faceplate runs you about $2, cowboy.

    I like beer. For better or worse, this has been a mantra that I lived by from the age of 18-present day 47. I can’t drink like I used to, but I still really enjoy drinking beer. My wife has never had a problem with the beer drinking, because it was (mostly) on the weekends and I never changed my personality while I was drunk so it almost never caused me any problems. The following story is one of the times it did, but it turned into a positive thing in the long run.

    In December of 1990 I was a 19-year-old Lance Corporal and had been stationed on Okinawa for 8 months. On a Wednesday, I ran into my drinking buddy from Fort Sill, Pete. He had just gotten to the island on a six-month deployment. We had to go drinking that night even though I had to be up at 4:30 for a machine gun shoot Thursday morning. It started as “I’ll just have a few beers and be back by midnight so I can get 4 hours of sleep.” (It was so great to be young.) We went bar hopping and somehow wound up at the Sunabe Seawall at around 11:30.

    I met this pretty Okinawan girl, she was 22 and we REALLY hit it off. She and her friend had just watched the movie Ghost and came to the seawall for a little bit before they went home. Next thing I knew it was 2:00. Man, WE HAVE TO GO!! The girl is nice enough to drive us to the front gate, but as I get out of her car I realize my wallet is missing because the bottom of my pocket was ripped. She took me back and we found it, but instead of coming back we sat and talked for another couple of hours (not getting any sleep anyway at this point). She drives me back and I get to my room as reveille was sounded at 4:30.

    I shaved and got into my cammies and still had 45 minutes before formation, so I had the fatal thought “I can take a nap” figuring that I would hear when everyone went down for formation. To quote Charlie Murphy, “WRONG!!”. To make matters worse, my section Chief and the A chief were in school so nobody noticed I wasn’t at formation.

    I woke up at noon.

    Not sure what to do, I started helping the rear party with cleaning the barracks in preparation for our weekly cleaning (field day) and was terrified when I heard the 5 tons come back, but trying to be slick, I went down and started cleaning the .50 cals, MK 19’s, and M60’s. Suddenly I hear my Platoon Sergeant yelling for me to get my stupid ass in his office NOW.

    “WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?!?!?!”

    What to say? I suck at lying and I think I’m in enough trouble without adding to it so I didn’t know what to say except to tell him exactly what happened and why. No excuses, just the truth.

    “Talked? I’m not even mad. I’m dissapointed.”

    He shook his head and told me to go back out. I thought my career was over, I would never get promoted and maybe kicked out. He never said another word about it, but for at least six months, every time there was a shit detail he would look over the formation and when he saw me he would do a double take, yell my name, say “Holy Shit, you’re here. Thanks for volunteering.” Much guard duty was stood, and many hours were spent picking up trash and brass.

    The positive thing to come out of that night: the girl I met has been married to me for 24 years now.

    Now for reviews of my BIF from L0b0t:

    Black Duck Porter by Greenport Harbor Brewing Company 4.7% ABV: Excellent example of a high quality Porter. Nothing extra, just right. 4.25/5

    Common Sense Kentucky Style Ale by Upstate Brewing Company 5.3% ABV: Very easy to drink reddish ale. Good taste of hops, but not too strong. 4/5

    Hawaiian Pizza IPA by Rockaway Brewing Company 5.9% ABV: I was skeptical about this one, but there was a pineapple beer in my last BIF package that was enjoyable, so let’s see.

    Is this grapefruit juice? One swallow and I’m done (TWSS) 1/5
    I give it to my wife (not a beer drinker) and she tastes it says “I can drink it, but it doesn’t taste like beer” She gives it 2/5

    …FILLS HIS VICTIMS FULL OF DREAD

    Heavy Boots of Lead by Single Cut Beersmiths 11.2%ABV: Pours like motor oil out of my Cummins BLACK and THICK. Even the foam is dark. Can’t see a light through it.

    Tastes like an imperial stout, but there is a lot more to the flavor. Very thick and heavy but in a good way, hard to explain. I would never guess this was 11.2 %. I like it a lot and wish I could find this around here. 4.5/5

    High Ryse by Iconyc Brewing Company 7.5% ABV: Very smooth Saison beer. Not my favorite type of beer, but it definitely got better as it went down, really liked it by the end. 3.75/5

    First drink and I think” this is the perfect beer” almost reminds me of Double Bastard, one of my all-time favorites.  12%, but it goes down way too easily. I love this beer, my next trip to NY I will definitely be looking for this and the High Ryse. 4.75/5

    Super Kitty by Keegan Ales 12% ABV: Bottle has a pop top like Grolsch, and it’s wax sealed. Excellent red color and nice “beer” smell. My wife smells it and recoils in horror.

    Thanks again Nephilium for coordinating all this and also thank you l0b0t for the excellent beers.

  • Saturday Morning Pre-Festivus Links

    Saturday Morning Pre-Festivus Links

    We’re just soooo excited. Tonight is Festivus Eve!!! I’ve got my list of grievances prepared and I’ve checked it twice. We set up our pole. I’ve been exercising like crazy so as not to embarrass myself at the Feats of Strength. And we’re preparing vegetarian meatloaf, which kills two birds with one stone (sorry, “feeds two birds with one scone”). It’s going to be a Festivus miracle tonight! Just to keep my idle hands busy until then… here’s some links. Yes, I’m doing these as an excuse to avoid packing chores.


     

    Oh wait, first it’s the birthday list. And one anniversary of note- the Embargo Act of 1807, proof that even brilliant men get stupid ideas, and the stupid idea of restricting trade as a retaliatory measure never ends well. And this particular stupid idea has cropped up again and again, with always the same results. Actual birthdays include composer and Zappa influence Edgard VareseVladimir Fock, he of the eponymous Hartree-Fock self consistent field methods; ideal mom and fluent speaker of jive Barbara Billingsley; and Princess Bride expert Ted Cruz.

     


     

    And now the news.

    Team Blue handwringing over ending two of the numerous Bush-Obama wars continues apace. If we had done the right thing and elected Clinton, by god we’d be making our wars bigger, better, and more numerous! We would be preserving our national honor!

     

    The free vacation for a small subset of Federal employees begins. And they will, of course, concentrate on things that will inconvenience people in the highest profile way as well as tell stories to tug at your heartstrings, assuming you have a heart and have zero memory of every other goddamn shutdown which ended with everyone getting a pile of back pay. At least this time, the news media are calling it a “partial shutdown,” so there’s been some progress.

     

    Every asshole incident is racial. Welcome to 2018.

     

    I’m not quite sure how I feel about this. But I will admit that the last 5 weeks have been entertaining and encouraging.

     

    The Ginsburg Ghoul Watch continues. I’m already laying in a stock of popcorn.

     

    This upsets me because it greatly narrows my window.

     

    If the Postal Service collapses, where will psycho killers find useful employment?

     

    Wait a minute, you mean the New York Times might be intellectually dishonest and transparently partisan? Where’s my fainting couch?

     

    Europe once again teaches us that we need to be more like them in their notions of tolerance and sophistication.

     

    More reasons why I didn’t bother deleting my account, I just… left.

     

    One more example of how courts are constitution-free zones.


    Old Guy Music today features a brilliantly talented friend of ours who is decidedly not old. The lyrics were particularly resonant with us this week. But we WILL get all the way to Arizona.

  • ZARDOZ FRIDAY NIGHT BEFORE BRUTALMAS LINKS

    HO, HO, HO…GO FORTH…AND KILL!

     

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. BRUTALMAS….WHAT? OH, “CHRISTMAS” APPROACHES. ZARDOZ WILL BE GIVING THE GIFT OF THE GUN, AS ALWAYS, TO THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS.

    BUT FOR THE CHOSEN ONES…LINKS! ZARDOZ WAS THINKING OF GIVING GRAIN, BUT THE ETERNALS SCARFED IT ALL DOWN.

    THIS ALL YOU HAVE? WE NEED MORE!

    THEREFOR, RECEIVE THEN THE GIFT OF THE LINK! GO FORTH AND COMMENT.

    • THIS SEEMS TO BE SPREADING…. ZARDOZ WONDERS IF THEY WERE WEARING YELLOW VESTS?
    • ZARDOZ IS NOT IMPRESSED. THIS BRUTAL WILL CERTAINLY NOT BE RECRUITED INTO THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS!
    • ZARDOZ DISAVOWS ANY KNOWLEDGE OF THESE FLYING DEVICES. ZARDOZ IS THE ONLY FLYING ENTITY FROM THE VORTEX!

    MERRY BRUT…ER, CHRISTMAS, CHOSEN ONES.

    ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • Friday Afternoon Links

    Friday Afternoon Links

    It’s Friday! The winter solstice is here, and for the next six months the days will get longer in the best hemisphere. Woohoo! OK, that seems like enough editorializing.

    I imagine this guy couldn’t make the trains run on time either.

    Today marks the 50th anniversary of the Apollo 8 launch. Cicero would have loved it.

    Wisconsin nice.

    Ignore all the BS in the article and check out these fascinating Tasmanian sea creatures.

    Scientists playing god with plants!

    New Horizons will fly by Ultima Thule in 10 days! And then….

    Music link: On the occasion of Frank Zappa’s birthday, let go with one of the greatest live performances ever.

    Bonus links: Zappa testifies in congress about record labeling, and an animated video of Frank’s business philosophy. I highly recommend this last video, even if you’re not a fan of Frank’s music.

  • A Hat and Hair Special: A Christmas Donald, The Conclusion

    A Hat and Hair Special: A Christmas Donald, The Conclusion

     

    “I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future!” Donald declared as he turned from the window. “The Spirits of all Three John McCain’s shall strive within me. I say it on my knees, old McCain; on my knees!”

    He had been sobbing violently in his conflict with the Spirit, and his face was wet with tears.

    “The shadows of the things that would have been, may be dispelled. They will be. I know they will!”

    He took off his hat and he took off his hair and he hugged them both tightly to his chest.

    “I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as merry as a schoolboy,” cried Donald. “I am as giddy as a drunken man. A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to all the world. Hallo here! Whoop! Hallo!”

    He ran into his Tweeting room and looked all about.

    “There’s the door, by which the Ghost of John McCain entered! There’s the corner where the Ghost of Christmas Present, sat! There are the tunnels wherein I saw the wandering Spirits! It’s all right, it’s all true, it all happened. Ha ha ha!”

    “Donald,” the hat said, “you’re crushing me.”

    “It’s because I love you, hat, dear hat!” Donald yelled. He twirled around and around until he felt ill.

    “I don’t know what day of the month it is!” said Donald. “I don’t know how long I’ve been among the Spirits. I don’t know anything. I’m quite a baby. Never mind. I don’t care. I’d rather be a baby.”

    Running to the window, tried to open it, and set off a security alarm. A Secret Service officer came bustling in.

    “What’s to-day!” cried Donald, calling to the Secret Service agent in his best drab suit.

    “EH?” returned the agent, with all his might of wonder.

    “What’s today, my fine fellow?” said Scrooge.

    “Today, Mr. President?” replied the agent. “Why, CHRISTMAS DAY!”

    “It’s Christmas Day!” said Donald. “I haven’t missed it. The Spirits have done it all in one night. They can do anything they like. Of course, they can. Of course, they can.”

    “Spirits, Mr. President?” asked the confused agent.

    “Do you know the McDonald’s in the next street but one, at the corner?” Donald inquired.

    “Uh, yes, I guess so,” said the agent, uncertainty dancing in his eyes. He holstered his weapon and lightly fingered his 25th Amendment TASER.

    “An intelligent boy!” said Donald. “A remarkable boy! Do we employ all boys as smart as him?” he asked his hat. “Do we?” he asked his hair. The agent backed up warily and did not take his eyes off of Donald.

    “Do you know whether they’ve sold the 100 piece McNugget box that had as a Holiday promotion?” asked Donald.

    “I’ll… I’ll go check for you, sir,” the agent said, longing to call for his supervisor.

    “Go and buy it. Have it send posthaste to Pie and her family!” said Donald.

    “Pie, sir?” the agent asked.

    “Sarah,” the hair whispered.

    “Sarah,” Donald told the agent. “My spokeswoman. Sarah, dear Sarah. Sarah, Plain and Wide.”

    “I’ll get right on that, sir,” said the agent, backing out of the Residence.

    “Half-a-crown for you if you are quick about it, boy!” Donald said, laughing heartily, and the agent was gone in a flash.

    Donald looked at his hair and Donald looked at his hat and said to them both: “We must get ready friends, we have a busy day of legacy building to begin!”

    Shaving was not an easy task, for his hand continued to shake very much; and shaving requires attention, even when you don’t dance while you are at it. But if he had cut the end of his nose off, he would have put a piece of sticking-plaster over it, and been quite satisfied.

    He dressed himself in “all in his best,” and at last got out into the White House proper. The workers by this time were pouring forth, filling office even on this Christmas Day.

    “The work of the President is never done,” said a gleeful Donald to his hat and his hair.

    “Hullo!” he shouted to the secretaries.

    “Hullo!” he shouted to the Secret Service agents.

    “Hullo!” he shouted to the dogsbodies and factotum scurrying to-and-fro.

    Donald hurried into The Oval Office and shut the door behind him. He had calls to make, important calls to make.

    “Donald,” asked his hair. “Are you OK?”

    “I have never felt better, my beloved follicles,” he said.

    Donald pressed a button set into the underlip of his desk and a drawer opened, a drawer he had never opened before. Inside was a phone of deepest red, an old-style phone that could not send Tweets or Crush Candies.

    “Donald…” the hat said.

    “I shall not succumb to such dark future,” said Donald and he took up the phone. “Hullo!” he shouted into the receiver.

    “Mr. President,” a sober young man said. “What are your orders, sir?”

    “Scramble the jets, and set sail our ships,” Donald sang. “Wake all our troops, and arm them every one. Ready the drones and cruise missiles. Launch the Space Force and warm their laser cannons. The best Christmas has come, my lad. The best Christmas of all!”

    “Y-y-es, sir,” the young man said.

    “Assemble the Joint Chiefs!” Donald continued. ”Stiffen John Bolton’s Mustache to a heady rage! Release the Mad Dog from his pleasure cage!”

    “Y-y-your orders, sir?”

    “Have them all in the Situation Room with all haste! America goes to war!”

    Donald hung up the phone and closed the secret drawer and spun around in his office chair with a girlish laugh of pleasure.

    “Donald,” the hair said. “Mattis just put in his resignation letter.”

    “Jim will stay,” said Donald. “As I keep Faith with him, he will keep Faith with me.”

    “And you just had me declare on Twitter the war with ISIS won and a withdrawal of troops from Syria and a drawdown in Afganistan,” the hat said.

    “Then back to Twitter, friend hat,” said Donald. “Reverse, regress and revise. Claim we were hacked; call it Facebook’s fault! Or let the egg be on Dorsey’s face–call it a blue checkmark farce!”

    “Whatabout…” the hair began.

    “And call Pie! Rescue her from her fat family fatal feast! She’ll have much to tell our countrymen as they wake!”

    Donald was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to round Sarah, his beloved Pie, who did NOT die, he was a second father. He became as good a Warboner, as firm a hawk, and as bloodthirsty a man, as the good old district knew, or any other good old capital, stronghold, or redoubt, in the dark old world. Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough now to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for sake of conflict and death, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. Donald’s own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.

    Donald and his hat and his hair had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Warboner Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas in an America at War as well as man alive or dead or never to be born. May that be truly said of us, and all of us!

    And so, as Pie observed, around a mouthful of McNuggets: God of War Bless Us, Every One!

  • Friday Morning Long Weekend Links

    Friday Morning Long Weekend Links

     

    How do I top SP’s announcement from yesterday? I can’t, any more so than I can top her formatting. So fuck it, since I’m the equivalent of the Shabbos Goy for the actual goyim who run links on weekdays, let’s just get to the (vegetarian and kosher) meat of the post.

    Auspicious birthdays today include Jack Russell, of the eponymous dogs; ventriloquist extraordinaire, Paul Winchell; true genius and sorta-libertarianish Frank Zappa; stunning mentalist Max Maven; and one of SP’s favorites, Ha Ha Clinton-Dix.


     

    The House voted to continue tax-money-wasting boondoggles, with Trump’s favorite one included. There’s at least one reliably principled vote against.

     

    This is what I would call a good start. And of course, cue the concern trolling. Now appoint a non-interventionist but strong defense guy who will support getting us the fuck out of Afghanistan, Somalia, Yemen… and put resources toward actual national defense. What amazes me, or maybe doesn’t amaze me, is the sudden rush of pro-war sentiment from the Left, which reads exactly like the excuses for Vietnam. Sigh. I remember the days when I was a liberal, and that included opposing wars of choice.

     

    What’s worse than the naming of highways to “honor” dead authoritarian big-government pieces of shit like Ronald Reagan or Lyndon Johnson? Naming them after alive authoritarian big-government pieces of shit like Barack Obama.

     

    SP and I feel partially responsible for this.

     

    Could it be… could it be… SATAN?

     

    One thing I’ve warned many people over the years: never piss off a chemistry major. It will not end well.

     

    The thing that amazes me about this story is that people still have photos developed.

     

    What happens when STEVE SMITH uses ancestry.com? THIS.

     

    The irony, IT BURNS!

     

    There are things which, for me, surpasses all understanding.

     


     

    Old Man music has no choice today. The “video” actually starts with a minute of Latex Solar Beef (with vocals by The Turtles), then segues into Willie. Zappa shreds his way through some insane guitar solos with his very distinctive tone and phrasing. And then bonus fuzz box and wah wah in Part 2.  If you love electric guitar, you need to hear these.