Blog

  • 2nd Annual Glibertarians Feast of Thanksgiving Recipes

    [et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.22″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_accordion module_class=”my_accordian” _builder_version=”3.17.6″][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Happy Thanksgiving!” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”on”]A note about the format for this post: I’ve added the recipes accordion style to avoid having multiple tabs open and to prevent having to scroll for miles to see them all. When you click on the + on the right side of an item, the previous item you were looking at will close. Depending on the speed of your connection, it may take a second for your browser to bring the new item to the top of the screen.

    Each item has a print button. You may save or print the recipe as a pdf, or just simply make it easier to have the one you want open on your mobile device without all the rest of the page clutter.

    I’ve included the recipes from last year’s post, but not a couple items that were narratives. You can read that post here.

    Enjoy these Thanksgiving recipes contributed by your fellow Glibs!

    Happy Thanksgiving!
    ~ SP
    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”A note on Thanksgiving wine pairings by Spudalicious” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    print as pdf

     

    I’m going to go through what I consider to be decent wine pairings for the traditional Thanksgiving meal.

    We’re talking turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, a boatload of gravy, cranberry sauce and the token side dishes that only Aunt Martha eats.

    This is a high salt, high fat, carb rich environment. It can also be a wine killer. And turkey really doesn’t pair well with heavy wines. My overall suggestion is that you want a wine that can cut through all of that. Meaning, leave your high dollar Cabernets and your big, blousy, oak filled Chardonnays in the cellar. All they will do is add to the heaviness of the meal.

    White wines

    Light, crisp, aromatic, those are all descriptions to look for in a white wine pairing. One of my favorites is a dry Gewurztraminer. I’m not talking about the majority of the wines available that have too much residual sugar, I’m talking about a lighter in body, fruity, spicy dry white. A producer I would point to is Navarro Vineyards.

    Another white that would fit the bill is a dry Riesling. DRY people, DRY. Navarro also fits the bill quite well here. You could also go German and look for a Riesling in the Kabinett, or maybe the Spatlese category. It will depend on the producer.

    Sauvignon Blanc is also a good choice. Just keep an eye on the alcohol level. Some of the New Zealand brands would fit well, just don’t go too crisp and dry. You want to cut through the richness of the meal, not hack it to bits with a machete.

    If you insist on Chardonnay, go with one of the many unoaked versions now on the market. They are crisper and still maintain the Chardonnay flavor profile. Two to choose from would be Joel Gott and Mer et Soleil Silver Label. These are both in the $15-20 range.

    Rosé

    Avoid domestic producers. Almost all of them have too much residual sugar. Look to Rosés from the south of France, such as Provence, or Italy. They are dry and crisp and would be a good foil to the meal.

    Red wines

    As I mentioned earlier, avoid the Cabernet. Save it for Christmas Eve prime rib.

    Georges Debouf is a marketing genius. Around this time of year, Beaujolais Noeveau is released. It’s a young, fresh light red from France made from the Gamay grape. It goes well with heavy dishes. Traditional Beaujolais would also work well. Fruity and not too heavy.

    Pinot Noir. Love, love, love a good Pinot for Thanksgiving. This is my go to. Go with what you like but given what’s happened with the alcohol levels in Pinot Noir, I would avoid anything much above 14% and most preferably, below. Oregon Pinot would be a good choice here.

    Domestic Syrah these days are pretty much a variation on Pinot in structure. Stay away from the big alcohol versions and you should do okay. Sierra Foothills and some of the choices from Washington State should be just fine. As much as I would love to tell you to go with a Cote Rotie from France, I just don’t think this is the place for it.

    One big red that I have found does seem to work well on Thanksgiving is Zinfandel. Avoid the monsters over 15% alcohol and try and find something a little more balanced. Sierra Foothills is again a place to look to to fit the bill.

    What about the pumpkin pie?

    This is where the sticky white wines go. As long as your pie isn’t too sweet, this is the time to pour small glasses of late harvest Gewürztraminer, Riesling, Muscat, or a Sauternes. Again, go with a small pour. It’s the end of the meal and a few sips will be plenty to cap off the event.

    The other alternative to the above suggestions?

    Drink whatever you want. Box, jug, homemade, whatever. If it you like it and it makes you happy, go with it. It is, after all, Thanksgiving. A time to enjoy friends and family, and reflect on just how good we’ve got it compared to those poor saps who didn’t hit the lottery and get to be an American.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Autumnal Cocktail from RC Dean” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Autumnal Cocktail from RC Dean

    Not sure what the name of this one is, but the maple syrup makes it very autumnal.

    • 3 oz. Rye or bourbon (- I prefer rye for just about any cocktail)
    • 3/4 oz. Orange Juice
    • 1/3 oz. Lemon Juice
    • 3/4 oz Dark Maple Syrup
    • 4-6 dashes bitters (Angostura works, but I also like Woodford Reserve Bourbon Barrel)
    • Seltzer couple ounces
    • Orange garnish (optional)
    1. I originally saw this “stirred, not shaken”. In my experience, you may not get the maple syrup to fully dissolve by stirring, so I prefer to make this one in my trusty shaker (also, drinks with citrus are classically shaken). The RC Dean method is to put everything but the seltzer and garnish in a shaker, pour over ice, top with seltzer and garnish.
    2. Protip: if you add the seltzer to the shaker, you will get a spectacular mess, so don’t do that.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”DblEagle’s Aged Eggnog” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    DblEagle's Aged Eggnog

    • Dozen egg yolks (reserve the whites for something else)
    • 1 lb sugar
    • 1 pint half and half
    • 1 pint heavy cream
    • 1 pint whole milk
    • 1 cup rum
    • 1 cup cognac
    • 1 cup bourbon
    • 1 teaspoon nutmeg ( freshly grated is best)
    • 1/4 teaspoon (kosher) salt
    1. Beat egg yolks, sugar and nutmeg until falls off a whisk in a smooth ribbon
    2. Combine the dairy, booze and salt in different container
    3. Slowly beat the booze mixture into the egg mixture
    4. Store in glass container(s) for 2 weeks to 2 months* in refrigerator
    5. Serve in glasses with nutmeg (fresh is best) garnish

    * You can drink immediately (and I have) but the aging time enables the tastes to smoothly combine


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Artichoke Dip by jesse.in.mb” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Artichoke Dip

    Use fresh dill because dried dill is for little bitches, as is spinach in artichoke dip…get that filler out of here!

    • 1 14 ounce can artichoke hearts (drained)
    • 1 8 ounce package cream cheese
    • 1 cup grated good Parmesan cheese
    • 1/2 cup mayonnaise
    • 1 clove garlic peeled
    • 1 teaspoon dill weed or to taste
    1. Preheat oven to 400F
    2. Process the artichoke hearts in a food processor until smooth.
    3. Add cream cheese, Parmesan, mayonnaise, garlic and dill to the artichoke mixture in the food processor and process until desired texture, but well blended.
    4. Spoon into a 9-inch pie pan.
    5. Bake 10 to 15 minutes, or until bubbly and light golden brown.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”SP’s Easy Dinner Rolls – Vegan (or Not)” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    SP’s Easy Dinner Rolls – Vegan (or Not)

    (Use the ingredients in the parentheses for Not Vegan)

    • 2 tbsp white sugar ((or honey))
    • 1/2 tsp salt
    • 1 2-1/4 tsp packet rapid-rise yeast
    • 2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour give or take – divided
    • 1/2 cup unsweetened plain almond milk ((or regular milk))
    • 1/4 cup water
    • 2 tbsp margarine and a bit more for finishing ((or butter))
    1. With a small whisk, combine the sugar, salt, yeast and 1 cup of flour in a small bowl.
    2. In a microwave safe bowl or measuring cup, heat milk, water, and margarine or butter to about 105F. If it’s too hot, let it cool a bit before using.
    3. Place the dry ingredients into the bowl of a food processor or stand mixer. With the machine running, pour in the liquid ingredients. Process or mix for 2 minutes or so. Scrape the bowl sides, add 1/2 cup more flour and beat or process until a soft dough forms, about 2 more minutes. The dough will be sticky, but should loosely hold its shape.
    4. If the dough is too soft, mix in the rest of the flour a tablespoon at a time until the dough is still soft but holds shape. Turn the dough out and let it rest on a floured surface, covered, for 10-15 minutes.
    5. Meanwhile, grease an 8-inch round cake pan. An actual 8-inch pan, not man “8-inches.”
    6. Divide the dough into 8-12 pieces and shape into rounds. (I am a little compulsive, so I weigh the dough to have rolls of the same size at the end.) Place the shaped rolls in the greased cake pan, cover and let rise until doubled, about 45 minutes.
    7. While the rolls are rising, preheat the oven to 375F.
    8. Bake the rolls for 20 minutes or until nicely browned. If you wish, brush the top of the rolls with a little melted margarine or butter. Serve pretty close to immediately.

    And you thought you couldn’t bake yeast breads from scratch!


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Tulip’s Mother’s French Landlady’s Bread Recipe” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Tulip's Mother's French Landlady's Bread Recipe

    This no fuss recipe is what a French housewife actually made. To make the recipe even easier, my mother, who is in her 80s, uses a food processor to mix the dough. Just be careful not to over work it. I get better results with the spoon. If you over work it, you don’t get the air pockets.

    • 1/2 c scalded milk
    • 1 c water
    • 1 1/2 T sugar
    • 1-1/2 T butter
    • 1/4 c additional warm water
    • 1 pkg yeast
    • 4 c flour
    • 2 tsp salt
    • 1/2 T sugar
    1. Add 1 c water, butter and sugar to scalded milk.
    2. Cool to lukewarm.
    3. Add 1/4 c water and yeast. Rest 10 minutes.
    4. Add flour salt and sugar. Beat 100 strokes with wooden spoon.
    5. Let rise 2 hours.
    6. Cut into 2 and shape into loaves.
    7. Put loaves on greased sheet and sprinkle with cornmeal. Slash tops and let rise 30 minutes or more.
    8. Bake at 400 for 15 minutes then at 350 for 30 minutes more.

    It is not as good as what you get with a poolish, but adding steam during the bake gets the flaky crust. It is also easy easy easy, so worth it. I use it as a canvas – so easy to change to a honey wheat or oatmeal etc. I also think of it as truly authentic.

    My favorite variation is sub 1 cup oatmeal for 1 cup flour and replace the sugar with brown sugar. Put the oatmeal in a bowl with the butter and brown sugar. Pour the scalded milk over the oatmeal and let cool to lukewarm. Then continue as normal.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Jennifer Reese’s Cornbread – contributed by jesse.in.mb” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Jennifer Reese's Cornbread

    • 6 tablespoons 3/4 stick unsalted butter
    • 1 cup all-purpose flour
    • 1 cup white or yellow cornmeal (whatever grind you like)
    • 1/2 cup sugar
    • 4 teaspoons baking powder
    • 1 teaspoon kosher salt
    • 2 large eggs
    • 1 cup milk
    1. Preheat the oven to 375°F. Put the butter in a 10-inch pie plate and place it in the oven to melt.
    2. Mix the flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl. In a smaller bowl, whisk together the eggs and milk.
    3. When the butter has melted, take the pie plate out of the oven and swirl the butter around to coat the pan.
    4. Let it cool for 1 or 2 minutes, then pour the butter into the milk-egg mixture. Whisk to combine.
    5. Whisk the liquid into the dry mixture–not too strenuously. A few lumps are okay.
    6. Pour into the pie plate and bake for 25 minutes. When it is done, the bread will be slightly puffed and a toothpick inserted in the middle will come out clean.
    7. Serve immediately. Leftovers keep for a few days, covered, at room temperature.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Semi-Spartan Dad’s Cranberry Compote” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Semi-Spartan Dad's Cranberry Compote

    These are simple recipes that are easy for anyone to reproduce. I don’t use measurements when cooking so these are just estimates. The recipes have been cobbled together from various sources over the years, including online sites, but I can’t remember where to give credit or where I modified. I set up a buffet of warming trays and my recipes are all portioned for the half-size trays (gravy excluded).

    1. Put (3) 1-pound bags of whole cranberries into large saucepot.
    2. Add 1.5 cup of orange juice, 2-1/4 cup sugar, nutmeg, pinch of cinnamon and salt.
    3. Start on high heat, once boiling- cover and turn down to simmer.
    4. Cook 30-35min and stir every 10 minutes. Turn heat off and let sit with cover for 20-25 min.
    5. Pour into tray and place in the fridge.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Spudalicious’s Cranberry Sauce” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Spudalicious's Cranberry Sauce

    1. One bag cranberries, one cup sugar, one cup orange juice and some orange zest.
    2. Bring to a simmer and cook until the berries pop.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”westernsloper’s Candied Jalapenos” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    westernsloper's Candied Jalapenos

    There was a place in Phoenix (can’t remember the name) that topped one of their burgers with candied japs and it was great. I had to try and duplicate it and this is what I came up with.

    • 10 japs sliced
    • 6 baby carrots sliced longways into 1/4’s
    • 1 c water
    • 1/2 c White Vinegar
    • 1/2 c Apple Cider Vinegar
    • 1-1/2 c sugar
    1. Bring liquid to boil, add sugar and dissolve.
    2. Add japs and simmer/slow boil/reduce until mixture is bubbly and thick (couple hours or so).
    3. Jar it up and refrigerate. Top burgers, pulled pork, anything.

    SP’s note: I bet this would be killer on a leftover-turkey sandwich!


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”KibbledKristen’s Ma’s Grape Juice Mold” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    KibbledKristen's Ma’s Grape Juice Mold

    • One box lemon gelatin
    • One box raspberry gelatin
    • 16 oz. one bag frozen unsweetened raspberries
    • 1 brick of cream cheese
    • 1 1/2 cups grape juice
    • 1/2 cup boiling water
    • ~2 tbsp sugar
    1. Coat a standard loaf pan with cooking spray.
    2. Place raspberries in a wire strainer over a large bowl and sprinkle sugar on top. Allow to thaw completely, tossing occasionally. Reserve juices.
    3. Bloom/dissolve lemon jello in boiling water (approx. 5 minutes). Add cream cheese and grape juice to blender. After jello is bloomed, crank blender to high and slowly pour in lemon jello while blender is running. Pour into loaf pan. Cover and refrigerate until jello is firm set.
    4. Add water to reserved raspberry juice to equal 1 3/4 cups (sometimes I go to 1 1/2 cups if the raspberries are particularly juicy). Nuke juice/water to just shy of boiling. Add raspberry jello and stir until dissolved. Gently stir in thawed raspberries.
    5. Cover and refrigerate raspberry jello until is it cool and egg white consistency. Pour/spoon raspberry jello over lemon jello/cream cheese in loaf pan. Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours.
    6. Slice with a spatula and serve over a leaf of Bibb lettuce.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”24 Hour Salad by Hayeksplosives” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    24 Hour Salad by Hayeksplosives

    Stays good for days, even after tossing. Great with Thanksgiving leftovers.

    • 6 cups chopped lettuce 2-3 Romaine or one large iceberg (divided in half)
    • 1 teaspoon sugar
    • 1 teaspoon salt and pepper
    • 6 hard-boiled eggs sliced
    • 1 10- oz pkg frozen green peas thawed
    • 2 stalks celery chopped
    • 1 small can sliced black olives drained
    • 1 lb bacon cooked (drained and crumbled)
    • 16 ounces swiss or cheddar cheese (shredded. I usually chop pre-sliced swiss.)
    • 3/4 cup mayonnaise
    • 1/2 cup sour cream
    • 1/4 cup green onion chopped
    1. Place 3 cups lettuce in bottom of large glass bowl. (Doesn’t need to be glass, but it makes for a nice layered presentation before tossing.)
    2. Sprinkle with sugar, salt, and pepper.
    3. Layer eggs over lettuce, lining up a few around the edge of the bowl for looks.
    4. Layer peas, celery, olives, remaining lettuce, bacon, and cheese.
    5. Whisk together mayo and sour cream. Spread over top, sealing to edge of bowl.
    6. Sprinkle green onions over the top.
    7. Chill for 24 to 48 hours.
    8. Toss. Add a little cream or water if needed to thin dressing.
    9. Make additions/substitutions as desired.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Web Dom’s Bean Salad” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Web Dom's Bean Salad

    • 1 15 oz can black beans
    • 1 15 oz can garbanzo beans
    • 2 15 oz cans dark red kidney beans
    • 1 15 oz can great northern beans
    • 1 pkg frozen corn
    • 1 pkg frozen peas
    • 1 large white onion chopped

    Dressing

    • 3/4 c olive oil
    • 2-1/2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
    • 2-1/2 tbsp white wine vinegar
    • 1 tsp balsamic vinegar
    • 1-1/2 tbsp maple syrup can be omitted
    • 1/2 tsp celery salt
    • 5 cloves garlic grated on a Microplane
    • 1/2 tsp black pepper freshly ground
    • salt (to taste)
    1. Drain and rinse beans.
    2. Combine with onion, peas, and corn in a large glass bowl.
    3. Make the dressing to taste, adjusting the vinegars, etc., as needed.
    4. Pour dressing over the veg.
    5. Mix well and chill before serving.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Celeriac Gratin by OMWC” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Celeriac Gratin by OMWC

    Celeriac (celery root) is the red-headed stepchild of winter root vegetables. Yet this is a dish that Spudalicious and I used to make on the regular, and our non-vegetarian friends would start demanding it in advance. I can’t ever recall having leftovers. It features Raclette cheese, the pride of Switzerland. Gruyère will work but not be nearly as fun-funky. Take the trouble to find Raclette, and the Swiss kind is slightly better than French for this. Yes, this recipe makes a lot of pots to clean up, but that’s why God invented dishwashers and orphans. It’s worth it, trust me.

    • 2 lbs celeriac peeled and cubed (peeling is a pain in the ass, but necessary)
    • 2 lbs Yukon Gold potatoes ( peeled and cubed)
    • 1 c heavy cream
    • 1/2 c butter
    • 1/2 – 1 tsp saffron depending on your bank balance (it's definitely cheaper in Indian groceries than at Whole Foods)
    • 2 cloves garlic finely minced
    • 1-1/2 c Gruyère grated
    • 1 c Raclette grated
    • Salt and pepper
    • 1/2 c Italian flat-leaf parsley (chopped)
    1. Boil the celeriac in salted water until it’s soft (check by piercing with a skewer or paring knife). Scoop out and drain. Return the water to a boil and add the potatoes, cooking until they’re soft. Drain.
    2. While the potatoes cook, heat the cream until it boils, then stir in the butter, saffron, and garlic. Reduce the heat, then simmer for 5 minutes until the saffron is extracted and the mixture slightly thickened. Set aside.
    3. In a large bowl, puree the celeriac (you could use a food processor; I prefer a hand-held Braun immersion blender), while gradually adding the cream sauce. Mash the potatoes coarsely, or use a ricer if you want a smoother texture. Combine the potato, celery root, and one cup of the Gruyère; season to taste with salt and pepper.
    4. Spread the mixture in a greased oven-proof dish, top with the remaining cheese and the parsley, then bake in a preheated 400F degree oven until the top is browned, about 20-30 minutes.

    Wine pairing would include crisp whites like Seyval (Bully Hill makes an excellent and inexpensive one). Chardonnay from Macon or (if you’re lucky) Beaujolais is a superb match as well. I would not fart in your general direction if you defaulted to a dry Vouvray, which might be easier to find.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Mom Lachowsky’s Chile Cheese Grits” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Mom Lachowsky's Chile Cheese Grits

    • 3 cups water
    • salt
    • 1 garlic clove minced
    • 1 cup quick-cooking grits
    • 1/2 cup butter cubed
    • 1-1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
    • 3 tablespoons chopped green chilies
    • 2 eggs
    • 1/2 cup milk
    1. Bring water, salt and garlic to a boil in a pan, then stir in grits.
    2. Reduce heat; cook and stir for 3-5 minutes or until thickened. Remove from the heat.
    3. Add butter, 1 cup cheese and chilies; stir until butter melts.
    4. Beat eggs and milk; add to the grits and mix well.
    5. Pour into a greased baking dish and then bake, uncovered, at 350° for 45 minutes.
    6. Sprinkle with remaining cheese and serve.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Semi-Spartan Dad’s Pecan Glazed Sweet Potato Casserole” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Semi-Spartan Dad's Pecan Glazed Sweet Potato Casserole

    These are simple recipes that are easy for anyone to reproduce. I don’t use measurements when cooking so these are just estimates. The recipes have been cobbled together from various sources over the years, including online sites, but I can’t remember where to give credit or where I modified. I set up a buffet of warming trays and my recipes are all portioned for the half-size trays (gravy excluded).

    1. Roast 5 large sweet potatoes in oven for 1.25 hours @ 375F

    2. Mix sweet potato, 1/2 cup brown sugar, 2 beaten eggs, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 4 tbsp butter, 1/2 cup milk (cut with cream), 1/2 tsp vanilla extract, cinnamon. Place in baking dish.
    3. For topping: Mix 1/2 cup brown sugar and 1/3 cup flour. Cut 4 softened tbsp butter in until mixture is course. Stir in 1/2 cup chopped pecans.
    4. Layer topping over sweet potatoes. Bake 30 min @325F.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Chipping Pioneer’s Party Potatoes” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Chipping Pioneer's Party Potatoes

    • 1 bag frozen hash brown potatoes little cube form (thawed)
    • 1/2 c butter (melted)
    • 2 c cheddar cheese (grated or your choice – – something smoked is good)
    • 1/2 c chopped onion
    • 2 c full fat sour cream (I cannot stress to the wife enough how low fat sour cream is inadequate yet there it is in the refrigerator)
    • 1 tsp salt
    • 1 tin cream of chicken soup
    1. Preheat oven to 350F.
    2. Mixed thawed potatoes with melted butter.
    3. Add remaining ingredients and mix well.
    4. Spread in a greased 9×9 casserole dish.
    5. Bake 1 hour at 350.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Mashed Potato Croquettes by Nephilium” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Mashed Potato Croquettes by Nephilium

    • 3-4 lb. potatoes
    • 8 oz. butter
    • Salt and pepper to taste
    • Panko

    Optional:

    • 4-6 strips of bacon (cut into lardons [small pieces] and fried)
    • 2-4 oz. shredded Cheddar cheese
    • 1/4-1/2 tsp. Roasted Garlic powder or crushed rosemary
    1. Cut the potatoes into equal sized pieces, and boil in salted water until fork tender (approximately 20 minutes). Mash the potatoes with the butter, salt, pepper, and any other optional ingredients. Let the mashed potatoes cool to the touch. Then roll them into approximately 1-2″ balls (or cylinders), and coat in panko.
    2. You have several options to finish them, you can either freeze them and then deep fry them (if you’re already deep frying your turkey), or you can oven roast them at ~350 F for 30-45 minutes (or until golden brown). If you’re baking them, and want them to get more golden, you can mix in a couple of drops of oil into the panko (you want it barely damp, not wet).

    For the optional ingredients, do what ever flavors you want. Chorizo, Garlic, Cheddar, Bacon, Pancetta, Rosemary, Pepper jack, Sour Cream, Chives, Chipotle pepper are all valid options. Just remember you don’t want the potatoes too loose, and if you’re deep frying them, you may want to wrap the potatoes around any cheese to seal it in.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”DblEagle’s Zucchini Strudel” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    DblEagle's Zucchini Strudel

    • 6-8 decent sized squash all zucchini or mix with yellow squash depending on your garden and taste
    • 8 eggs
    • dill
    • black pepper
    • 3-6 cloves garlic (minced)
    • 8 oz feta cheese
    • phyllo dough
    • melted butter
    1. Preheat oven to 350F.
    2. Grate squash.
    3. Layer into a strainer with salt between layers.
    4. Let drain 3 hours.
    5. In a bowl mix: Eggs, dill, black pepper and garlic. (Don’t be shy with the dill or garlic).
    6. Crumple feta cheese into the egg mixture.
    7. Mix the ingredients.
    8. Return to the squash. Squeeze the fluid out handful by handful (generally 2X per handful since drier the better).
    9. Add squash to egg mixture and mix well.
    10. Pour into baking pan/casserole pan.
    11. Cover the mix with 5-8 pieces of phyllo dough, covering dough with melted butter between layers.
    12. Bake at 350 for one hour.
    13. Serve hot or cold.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Semi-Spartan Dad’s Stuffing/Dressing” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Semi-Spartan Dad's Stuffing/Dressing

    These are simple recipes that are easy for anyone to reproduce. I don’t use measurements when cooking so these are just estimates. The recipes have been cobbled together from various sources over the years, including online sites, but I can’t remember where to give credit or where I modified. I set up a buffet of warming trays and my recipes are all portioned for the half-size trays (gravy excluded).

    1. Get 1.5 loaves of French or Italian bread, cut in half, dice into cubes
    2. Toss cubes in bowl with melted butter, olive oil, and seasoning (pepper, salt, sage)
    3. Put in oven on sheet tray for about 15 minutes
    4. Toss cubes in large bowl with salt, pepper
    5. Add sautéed green onions and mushrooms
    6. Add chicken broth to moisten bread (maybe cup and half)
    7. Place in casserole dish and bake in oven for 35-40 minutes @ 350F


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Semi-Spartan Dad’s Gravy” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Semi-Spartan Dad's Gravy

    I don’t use measurements when cooking so these are just estimates. The recipes have been cobbled together from various sources over the years, including online sites, but I can’t remember where to give credit or where I modified.

    1. Add giblets to sauce pot with a couple celery stalks, few carrots, half an onion, bay leaves, and parsley.
    2. Fill to top with cold water and simmer while the turkey cooks. Replenish as the liquid cooks down but not close to the end as doing so dilutes the flavor
    3. If roasting a turkey, pour everything in turkey roasting dish through a strainer into new, clean stockpot. If not roasting, there should still be plenty in the giblet stockpot.
    4. Pour the giblet stockpot through strainer into said stockpot (use back of spoon to work through strainer)
    5. Taste, now is the time to add salt and pepper, if needed, and a heavy dose of sage
    6. Use beurre manié or corn starch slurry (1:1) to thicken
    7. Thicken with whisk at slightly below boiling
    8. Place gravy pot in cast iron pan to keep warm


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Playa Manhattan’s Superior Turkey & Gravy” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Playa Manhattan's Superior Turkey & Gravy

    If you’re roasting your turkey whole, you’re doing it wrong.

    1. Dark meat: Dry rub and rest for 6 hours. Tightly wrapped in foil, 300F for 6 hours.
    2. White meat: 2 day brine in pineapple juice, MSG and friends, citrus peel, sodium phosphate 10%, smoked salt, peppercorns, and powdered bay leaf. Sous Vide at 145F for 3 hours, 5 minute sear at the end.
    3. Gravy: 1 container Empire Kosher Chicken fat, 2/3rds cup flour. Cook to blonde roux. Add 3 cups rich unseasoned veal stock, whisk in. Seasoned with onion salt, yeast extract, MSG and helpers, and a touch of garlic powder. Skim unincorporated fat from the top.

    I’m pretty comfortable serving this to 30 people next week.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”How To Roast a Stuffed Turkey by Count Potato” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    How To Roast a Stuffed Turkey by Count Potato

    Based on casual observation most people do it wrong. They try using bacon, aluminum foil, etc. to keep the bird from drying out. Or they soak it in brine which alters the taste and consistency of the meat. Whereas the best way is to keep the natural juices inside the turkey from the beginning.

    1. Get a covered roasting pan with a rack. Mine has a tight-fitting lid with an adjustable vent.
    2. Preheat the oven to 325°F.
    3. Find out how much the turkey weighs. If you bought from a store, it will be written on a label on the package. Otherwise, weigh it on a scale.
    4. Wash, dry, and stuff the turkey. Make sure to sew the neck and tail openings shut. Season it with salt and pepper. I also rub the outside with a mixture of dried herbs. The important thing is that the skin is well-salted.

    5. Place the bird on the rack in the pan. Then pour in a quart of low-salt stock or broth. I used to use chicken stock before turkey broth became widely available.
    6. Cover it with the lid. Put it in the oven.
    7. Estimate the total cooking time by multiplying the weight in pounds by 20 minutes. Leave it in the oven for half that time without opening the lid. No peeking.
    8. After half the total estimated cooking time has passed, remove the lid. Don’t be dismayed if the turkey “looks boiled”. It’s because it will be covered in a whitish pellicle. This is a coating of fat and proteins that will waterproof the bird like Flex Seal. This was demonstrated by the Indians at the first Thanksgiving by sawing a canoe in half.
    9. If you use a thermometer, stick through the center of one of the breasts while being careful not to touch any bone. Put it back in the oven uncovered. Do not baste it until the skin begins to turn golden brown. When it’s done, the legs should move freely, and there shouldn’t be a large amount of liquid pooled around the thighs. You can check by taking a thin knife and cut above where the thigh attaches to the back — there shouldn’t be any pink flesh or red blood around the joint.
    10. After you remove it from the oven. Let it sit for 15 – 20 minutes before carving. I move it to a dish, so I can make gravy from the roasting pan during this time.
    11. Osteoporosis!


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Deep Fried Turkey by mexicansharpshooter” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Deep Fried Turkey by mexicansharpshooter

    This is a dangerous but delicious dish to make.

    • 20 lbs Turkey

    For the brine

    • 1 gallon water
    • 1 gallon broth doesn't matter what kind (chicken broth is plentiful and cheap)
    • 2 cans kosher salt
    • 1 jar whole cloves
    • 2 lemons
    • 2 pkgs fresh rosemary (You can substitute dried, but why cheap out?)
    • ginger root (You can use candied ginger, but I like to shred it and throw it in the brine. Get as much as you dare.)

    For frying

    • 2 gallons peanut oil (minimum – see instructions)

    The brine

    1. Mix the brine and let the thawed turkey soak in it at least overnight, the longer the better. I normally go 2 nights.

    The fryer

    1. Incidentally, Underwriters Laboratory does not place their coveted seal on any gas fired turkey fryer. This is a dangerous item to have, and can result in serious injury if you are not careful. Especially if you are like me and know how to bypass the thermocouple that acts as a safety device but prevents the oil from getting hot enough. If you are faint of heart—just roast it like the Nancy Boy you are and take up valuable oven space.

    The process

    1. Now that we got that out of the way. You will need a minimum of 2 gallons of peanut oil. Prior to brining, you will need to establish the turkey’s overall displacement by filling the pot with water and marking where the turkey rests in the pot completely submerged. This may exceed the “Do not fill above this line” written inside the pot, but if you made it this far, you probably are ignoring the safety people anyway.
    2. Remove the bird from the brine, and let it dry. A wet turkey will cause you to have a very bad day, and will prove the Nancy Boys at UL right. Don’t do that.
    3. Set the bird in the stand butt down, wings tucked back. Put it in the pot of hot oil SLOWLY.
    4. Ideally, the oil should average around 175F (I can’t help you if you are in Canada), but remember the turkey is cold and will drop the temperature of the oil once you set it in there. I’m usually able to keep it between 150-165F without setting my yard on fire. 3 1/2 minutes per pound should net a result that is moist on the inside, and delightfully crisp skin in the outside. This needs to sit at least 30 mins before carving.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Brown Sugar Cookies from Nosh with Me – contributed by jesse.in.mb” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Brown Sugar Cookies from Nosh with Me – contributed by jesse.in.mb

    • 14 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 3/4 sticks)
    • 1/4 cup granulated sugar (about 1 3/4 ounces)
    • 2 cups packed dark brown sugar (14 ounces)
    • 2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour plus 2 tablespoons ( about 10 1/2 ounces)
    • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
    • 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
    • 1/2 teaspoon table salt
    • 1 large egg
    • 1 large egg yolk
    • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
    1. Heat 10 tablespoons of the butter in a pan over medium-high heat until melted. Continue to cook the butter until it is browned a dark golden color and smells nutty, about 1 to 3 minutes. Transfer the browned butter to a bowl and stir the rest of the butter into the hot butter until it melts- let this rest for 15 min.
    2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a baking dish, mix granulated sugar and a ¼ cup of the brown sugar until combined well; set this mixture aside to roll dough balls in.
    3. Mix flour, baking soda, and baking powder in a bowl. Add 1 ¾ cup brown sugar and salt to cooled butter and mix until there are no lumps. Add egg, yolk, and vanilla to butter mixture and mix well, then add flour and mix until just combined.
    4. Roll dough into balls about 1 ½ inches in diameter, and roll balls in brown sugar and white sugar mixture. Place balls about 2 inches apart on parchment lined baking sheets.
    5. Bake sheets one at a time until cookies are puffy and lightly browned, about 12-14 minutes. (It says the cookies will look slightly raw between some of the cracks and seem underdone, but be careful not to over bake.) Cool on sheet for about 5 minutes and then transfer to a rack to cool.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”jesse.in.mb’s Aunt Sheryl’s Dutch Apple Pie” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    jesse.in.mb's Aunt Sheryl's Dutch Apple Pie

    (It’s the best, fight me!)

    • 1 single 10" pie crust

    Filling

    • 2/3 cup sugar
    • 2 Tbsp all purpose flour
    • ¾ tsp cinnamon
    • ½ fresh lemon
    • 6-8 tart apples pared cored (pared,cored and sliced (equaling 6 cups))

    Crumb Topping

    • ½ cup flour
    • ¼ cup sugar
    • ¼ cup butter

    For Filling

    1. Combine first three ingredients.
    2. Put apples in crust, sprinkle dry mix over apples then squeeze ½ lemon over them (can be left for up to 24 hours in the fridge for more flavor).

    For Crumb Topping

    1. Combine flour and sugar, cut in butter until crumbly.
    2. Sprinkle on top of apples.
    3. Bake at 400 for 45-50 minutes


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Ina Garten’s Pear, Apple & Cranberry Crisp – contributed by SP” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Ina Garten's Pear, Apple & Cranberry Crisp – contributed by SP

    This is pretty close to a crisp I make, except I use fresh cranberries. But this one has the added virtue of already being keyed in.

    For the filling

    • 2 pounds ripe Bosc pears (4 pears)
    • 2 pounds firm Macoun apples (6 apples)
    • 3/4 cup dried cranberries
    • 1 teaspoon grated orange zest
    • 1 teaspoon grated lemon zest
    • 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed orange juice
    • 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
    • 1/2 cup granulated sugar
    • 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
    • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
    • 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

    For the topping

    • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
    • 3/4 cup granulated sugar
    • 3/4 cup light brown sugar lightly packed
    • 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
    • 1 cup old-fashioned oatmeal
    • 1/2 pound 2 sticks cold unsalted butter (diced)
    1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

    For the filling:

    1. Peel and core the pears and apples and cut them into large chunks. Place the fruit in a large bowl and toss with the cranberries, zests, juices, granulated sugar, flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Pour into a 9 x 12 x 2-inch baking dish.

    For the topping:

    1. Combine the flour, sugars, salt, oatmeal, and cold butter in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Mix on low speed for 1 to 2 minutes, or until the mixture is in large crumbles. Sprinkle evenly over the fruit, covering the fruit completely.
    2. Place the baking dish on a parchment-lined sheet pan and bake for 50 minutes to 1 hour, until the top is brown and the fruit is bubbly. Serve warm.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Pumpkin Imperial Stout Tiramisu by Nephilium” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Pumpkin Imperial Stout Tiramisu by Nephilium

    So here’s a recipe (modified from an issue of BeerAdvocate).

    • 1 pint heavy whipping cream
    • ½ tsp cinnamon
    • ¼ tsp nutmeg
    • 1/8 tsp clove
    • ¼ cup Dry Malt Extract
    • 1 cup pumpkin puree
    • 2 cup mascarpone cheese
    • 24 oz Rasputin Imperial Stout or any other good Russian Imperial Stout
    • 3 packages ladyfinger cookies
    • 1 cup Simpsons Special Dark Roast Malt ground to a powder
    • cinnamon ground
    • powdered sugar
    1. In a medium bowl, add cream, cinnamon, nutmeg, clove and DME. Mix this until soft peaks form, then set aside. In a different bowl, mix together the pumpkin and the mascarpone until fully combined. Fold the pumpkin mixture into the spiced whipped cream until blended (some streaks are fine), and then set aside.
    2. Pour the stout into a shallow bowl or a pie plate. Select your serving container (I usually use a 13 x 9 pan, but you can use whatever size you wish). Then you begin the assembly of the tiramisu.
    3. Dip ladyfingers into the stout for 10 seconds, then flip them, and let them sit for 10 seconds again. Then place the ladyfingers into your serving container until you have a single layer.
    4. Then take a third of the pumpkin cream filling and distribute it over the ladyfingers. Dust with malt powder, then add another layer of soaked ladyfingers.
    5. Top the second layer with pumpkin cream and then garnish with malt powder, some cinnamon, and powdered sugar.
    6. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least two hours before serving.

    DME and Simpsons Special Dark Roast can be acquired at your local homebrew store. Otherwise you can substitute ovaltine for the DME, and cocoa powder for the Special Dark Roast.

    If you use a smaller container, you can go to three layers of each, or even four. Do what you want, it’s your dessert.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Hayeksplosives’s Easy, No Brainer, Creamy Pumpkin Pie” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Hayeksplosives's Easy, No Brainer, Creamy Pumpkin Pie

    Easy, foolproof, and better than anything the store sells.

    • 1 14 oz can Sweetened Condensed Milk
    • 2 eggs
    • 1 tsp ground cinnamon
    • 1 tsp ground ginger
    • 1 tsp ground nutmeg
    • 1 15 oz can pumpkin
    • 1/2 tsp salt
    • 1 9-inch unbaked pie crust (I ALWAYS use graham cracker–it's great with the pumpkin spices.)
    1. Preheat oven to 425F.
    2. Whisk pumpkin, sweetened condensed milk, eggs, spices, and salt in bowl until smooth.
    3. Pour into pie crust.
    4. Bake 15 minutes.
    5. Reduce temp to 350F and bake 35-40 minutes until knife inserted in center comes out clean.
    6. Cool.
    7. Garnish with whipped cream or Cool Whip.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”SP’s Vegan Pumpkin Chia Pudding” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    SP’s Vegan Pumpkin Chia Pudding

    Even Web Dom can have a seasonal Thanksgiving dessert.

    • 1/4 c chia seeds
    • 1 c unsweetened vanilla almond milk
    • 1 tsp vanilla extract
    • 2 tsp sugar (or 10-15 drops liquid stevia, or to taste)
    • 1/4 c pumpkin puree
    • 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice (or equivalent components)
    • pinch salt
    • 2 tbsp pecans (toasted and chopped)
    1. Combine chia seeds with almond milk in a medium bowl. Set aside for one hour.

    2. Add vanilla extract, sweetener of choice, pumpkin puree, pumpkin pie spice, and salt to the bowl with chia seeds and almond milk. 

    3. Process with an immersion blender until smooth. Adjust sweetener to taste.

    4. Pour into a dessert dish and top with pecans.

    We prefer less-sweet foods, so you may want to adjust the sweetness to your preference.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”SP’s Candied Cashews” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Candied Cashews

    • 2 cups whole cashews
    • 1 egg white
    • 1 tsp water
    • 2/3 cup granulated white sugar
    • 1/4 tsp salt
    • 1/2 tsp cinnamon
    1. Preheat oven to 325F. Line a baking sheet with a silicone baking mat or parchment paper.

    2. Beat egg white with the water in a medium bowl until foamy and light.

    3. Add the cashews, sugar, salt and cinnamon to the bowl. Stir thoroughly; nuts should be completely coated.

    4. Spread the mixture as evenly as possible on the baking sheet. Bake for about 30 minutes or until nuts are beginning to caramelize.

    5. Remove from the oven and allow nuts to cool.  Store in an air tight container.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][/et_pb_accordion][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

  • This is the week that Will Be: The Horoscope for the Week of November 18

    Unlike last week, this week’s skies don’t require advanced PowerPoint technology to decipher.  Which isn’t to say that things are boring, oh no.  First, Venus has resumed direct motion so any conjugal issues you may have been having should be resolved.  Second, we are once again entering a period of MERCURY RETROGRADE, so rejoice in your ability to eschew responsibility for the fuckups that you cause.

    That MERCURY RETROGRADE does come with a cost.  It’s part of an extremely bad alignment with Saturn and the Earth, which is usually Very Bad News, on par with the death of a dog or a roof collapse.  However, there are some things working against it which are probably shielding the house proper and those who dwell within it.  Instead, expect some sort of disaster to befall the extended property.  Wildfire if you’re a land owner, boiler loss if you’re an apartment dweller, that sort of thing.

    MERCURY RETROGRADE is also in a second alignment with the Sun and Mars, but because of the relative angles of the alignments, these are independent issues not related ones (this week actually has two of these out-of-phase intersections which is rather unusual).   I think you can all figure this one out on your own:  Mars = war, MERCURY RETROGRADE = very bad news/chaos.  This is not a good week to be involved in hostilities.

    Like the previous two, this is an independent event alignment.   Unlike the previous two, it is good news.  It’s actually one of the best signs re: domestic bliss, the alignment of Sol-Jupiter-Venus.  As I mentioned before, Venus is back to being the harbinger of love and peace and Jupiter is stability, harmony, righteous rule and happiness. The sun is light/life/empowerment. So you’ve got that going for you.

    This week, Pisces plays host to the moon and to Mars.  It’s an auspicious week for spearfishing and video games of the FPS and brawler type.  Also good for people trying to evade manhunts, but bad for the mustered soldiery.  The rest of us will find things a bit muted or mellow, if you prefer.

    This week, hunting accidents will increase as MERCURY RETROGRADE brings its chaos to Sagittarius.  However, since Jupiter is also there as a moderating influences, these accidents will be less lethal and more of a “have a good story to tell” variety.  Still, be particularly careful with gun safety this week.  Speaking of gun safety, remember how the stars told me that NYS would finally deign to recognize my right to keep (and bear in a tremendously limited sense) a 1967 Ruger Standard?  It of course came to pass.  I believe it was last fired in 1984.  I watched many Youtube videos on the takedown and reassembly, but none of them mentioned that a mallet would be required for the procedure.  It was.  By the time this gets published I will have taken it to the range and given it some test bangs.  Since it will be happening before MERCURY RETROGRADE kicks in, I’m not too worried about the thing exploding in a way it’s not supposed to.

    Saturn in Capricorn means that Saturn is very far away and its relative motion through the zodiac had more to do with our annual orbit and not its fat ass.

  • Fall BIF Special — Part 2

    By The Hyperbole

    The beer you’ll all want to hear about is the one mexican sharpshooter reviewed here, and he got accused of trolling for his efforts. I can relate.

    This is my review of the Autumn BIF.

    I too have had my sincere opinions dismissed as the contrarian trolling of a prog plant simply because I won’t toe the line and accept the Republic… er… Glibertarian narrative. In fact, I put up with a lot of bullshit around here. There’s no need to rehash the whole Logo fiasco, I’m over that, but what about the Glib specific ‘First’ GIFs I created for the site. Zardoz still trots his out occasionally but that’s it, I can’t remember the last time my Thicc Edit Fairy GIF was used, and I don’t think they ever used my favorite ‘First’ GIF ( the one with the “winking” cat under the One’s top hat). I can handle it though, I’ve had decades of practice accepting rejection. I could mention how I single-handedly ushered in the golden age of commenter submitted articles with a legendary drunken rant, but why bother? What thanks did I get, a nice little e-mail asking me to stop submitting articles that’s what. Oh and you guys are happy to hit me up for construction advice, yet I’ve baked more pizza than any ten of you combined have eaten, I gave you my secret dough and one-of-a-kind sauce recipes, hell, I helped Trashy with his soggy crust problem, and am I respected as a master pie man? Am I fuck. The indignities are almost too many to list. I get no credit for my puns in the pun threads, which are actual wordplay not just using a word related to the theme in its normal way… “Oh a fish themed pun thread, I’m going to add ‘he took the bait’ ha-ha”… How is that even a pun? I mention all that just for the Halibut, it was all water under the bridge. Then mexican sharpshooter tries to poison me, sealing used motor oil thinned with turpentine in a beer bottle.

    You mean this guy?

    I may not be able to take a hint but I’m not totally obtuse, so I’m pulling an ‘Eddie’, well maybe not an ‘Eddie’, I’m not going to request that the editors scrub the site of my submissions, and I’m not going to exchange nasty emails with the founders (unless they’re into that kinda thing) but I’m definitely pulling a ‘The guys who’s avatar was a naked dude on a futon with some guitars.’ I hope you assholes enjoy your echo chamber.

    How were the other beers?

    • The Husstler Series American Lager Huss Brewing Co. – classic lager could see this as an everyday beer 3.167
    • Koffee Kölsch Huss Brewing Co. – A light colored coffee beer? yup, kind of odd flavor and visual combination but very good 4.135
    • White Russian Imperial Coffee Stout Sunup Brewing Co. – Ah that’s more normal, coffee flavor in a dark beer, not as good however and more chocolatey than coffee 2.997
    • Noche Dulce Moonlight Vanilla Porter Borderlands Brewing Co.- By far my favorite of the bunch great taste, hints of coffee/chocolate/vanilla but not slapping you in the face 4.835
    • Moon Juice Galactic IPA SanTan Brewing Co. – It’s an IPA, I guess there are some fruity undertones, but it’s an IPA 2.417

     

    Thanks to mexican sharpshooter for the beers and Neph for setting this all up. looking forward to the spring B….oh wait I’m outta here, Auf Wiedersehen jerks!

  • ZARDOZ’S FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS

    ZARDOZ FEELS LIKE FRIEND LOOKS.

     

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. IT HAS BEEN A WEEK. DEMANDS FROM THE VORTEX, BRUTALS EVERYWHERE….AND THERE IS ONLY ONE ZARDOZ TO TRY TO DO EVERYTHING AT ONCE. ZARDOZ MAY HAVE TO ASK THE VORTEX’S COMPTROLLER IF WE CAN SPRING FOR A FEW MORE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS.

    BUT YOU DID NOT COME HERE TO HEAR ZARDOZ SPEAK OF HIS WOES. YOU CAME FOR LINKS…WELL…THE LINKS AT LEAST SERVE AS AN EXCUSE TO GATHER AND CHAT, ANYWAYS.

    THEREFOR, ZARDOZ BESTOWS UPON YOU, THE GIFT OF THE LINK. GO FORTH AND SNARK!

    ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • Happy Friday, Travel is Over Links

    Happy last full (work) week of November. For some of you, government types especially, I figure this is the last full work week of the year. I’m not jealous, but sometimes I wish I was in that sort of cruise job. Anyhow, I got out of Dearborn as the atmosphere itself was solidifying. So I hope all my coworkers lived. Here are some links.

    We’re changing the definition of the kilogram? Great. Still 0 moonlandings by kilogram using nations.

    Intersectionality comes for the oldest lesbian bar in Norfolk. Enjoy your dog-park.

    UK names new Brexit secretary. Hopefully one who believes in Brexit this time.

    Look at this shitlord Trumpista enhancing protections of those accused of sexual assault. Its almost like they are innocent until PROVEN guilty.

    Time to relax a little.

  • Legend of the Fall (or, Now For Something Completely Different)

    You all know my preferences on firearms and so forth by now.  I have plenty more to say on that score, but just to change things up, I thought I’d share a tale or two from my younger years, when I was a little tad learning my way around life in Allamakee County, Iowa.

    To that end:  It might be interesting to poll parents on the subject of what sound they would most associate with memories of their children. Some parents might remember the sound of laughter, the plunk of piano keys, or the squeak of a bicycle chain.

    In such recollection about me, my parents would probably have said “thump.”

    If there were a title for the Northeast Iowa Falling Champion, I’d have won it hands down for quite a few years running. There are probably less than three bodies of water in the northeastern quarter of Iowa into which I haven’t fallen; if you can fall into, off of, on, or out of it, I’ve done it. A typical scene at my parent’s house in my childhood years may have read something like this:

    A typical Allamakee County foot bridge.

    ENTER: DAD, sitting in his chair on the front porch, reading a book.

    YOUNG ANIMAL enters from stage left, and stops in front of the door, water dripping from his hair and clothes.

    DAD: (Not looking up from the book) “Fall in the creek again?”

    YOUNG ANIMAL: “Uhh… Yeah….”

    DAD: “Don’t drip water on the carpet. Your towel is in the shed where it always is.”

    In spite of the repeated dunkings, often at times of year which made immersion in a spring-fed stream extremely uncomfortable, there was always the urge to attempt a crossing on a three-inch wide down tree covered with loose bark and wet from a cold rain. At times like that the conflict between ego and id approached the stage of a declared war:

    EGO: “Go ahead, you can walk across on that.”

    ID: “Are you kidding? You won’t make it five feet! Remember what happened last time? And the time before that?”

    EGO: “Don’t listen to that wimp! Cross on over, there’s bound to be grouse in that thicket on the other bank and now that it’s stopped snowing, they’ll be out feeding.”

    ID: “This isn’t a good idea!”

    SPLASH!!

    Northeast Iowa is full of wonderful climbing trees, but as a young boy I had less than the normal enthusiasm for them, probably due to the repeated impacts with the ground underneath. Several of my Mom’s gray hairs were directly related to my crashing, high-speed, gravity-assisted exits from large trees.

    I gave up hunting deer from tree stands in my early teens for this very reason. Mind you, this was in those innocent years before modern tree stands.

    I recently received a catalog from one of the nation’s largest outdoor suppliers and was amazed at the technology in today’s tree stands. It now seems that the properly equipped hunter has a tree stand made of titanium and nylon webbing, with a nicely padded seat and backrest, a comfortable safety harness, a tray for your lunch and a beverage holder. The modern tree stand weighs less than a typical sandwich; well, at least less than one of MY typical sandwiches. It also follows you out to the hunting area, scouts the area for fresh sign, aids in the location of a tree, climbs the tree by itself, and places convenient steps strapped harmlessly to the tree trunk.

    Our tree stands consisted of a piece of 2×6 nailed into the crotch of a tree at least 50 feet up, to make sure the deer wouldn’t see you. Safety belts? Safety belts were for sissies. We shinnied up the tree and used a piece of bailing twine to haul our shotgun or bow up after us. It was generally considered wise to have a shotgun or bow in the tree; not for the chance of a deer happening along, but rather because the weapon provided something to break your fall when the inevitable happened. Black-powder guns with large protruding hammer spurs and bows with razor-head arrows were preferred for this purpose.

    With typical teenage enthusiasm, a typical opening morning of Iowa’s December deer season would see me on stand three hours before sunrise, shivering in the sub-zero cold, waiting for legal shooting light. With the approximate speed of a two-toed sloth on Valium, the sun would creep up over the horizon and with the light, enough warmth that I would begin to feel almost comfortable in my insulated coveralls. With comfort came the normal drowsiness associated with a 15-year old operating on exactly 12 minutes of sleep. With the drowsiness, eventually, came sleep.

    Some memories stay with you, vividly, for years.

    Reminiscing about hunting from a tree stand always brings to mind a wonderful dream. In the dream, I was enjoying a remarkable, floating sensation. I was adrift among the clouds, floating weightlessly above the ground. I remember thinking, isn’t this neat!  I remember, though, something about a tree… What was I doing, before I fell asleep, that involved a tree?

    The memory at this point involves a vision of grains of snow among brown, dried oak and maple leaves, seen from very close up, for one reason: I generally awoke, facing downward, approximately six inches from impact. Not just any impact, either, but the sort of tooth jarring, bone-rattling IMPACT that loosens several vertebrae and has you seeing stars for several hours afterwards. It is a singularly unpleasant way to wake up, one that I don’t recommend.

    My most spectacular fall involved a .22 rifle, a cliff, a river, and a squirrel.

    The Chimney Rocks, circa 1975.

    The Upper Iowa River winds through some of the Midwest’s most beautiful countryside. The best of the best is the Chimney Rocks area near the tiny town of Bluffton. The Chimney Rocks are a set of limestone bluffs that form rounded towers a hundred feet or more above the river.

    Early one morning, my friend Jon and I were creeping along the top of the Chimney Rocks, rifles in hand, searching for gray squirrels. A barking squirrel in a large hickory had drawn my attention, and in a stalk with all the sophistication and woodcraft available to a teenage boy, I had managed to close the gap to about 30 yards. Doing this, however, had necessitated creeping along the very edge of the bluff…

    The more intuitive among you, dear readers, have probably already seen this one coming.

    I could see the squirrel’s tail jerking as he barked a greeting to the morning. Another step and I’d have a shot.

    The structure of the Chimney Rocks was such that the edge was somewhat, well, frangible. Pieces of limestone would occasionally detach themselves from the top edge of the bluff, to splash seconds later, through six inches of water, into the gravel riverbed far, far below.

    The Chimney Rocks are composed of marine limestone, formed under some primeval ocean, countless millions of years before there were squirrels, boys, or .22 rifles. Over the eons, the limestone hardened, the oceans receded, the land rose. Over that unimaginable stretch of time leading to the present, the Upper Iowa River formed, eroded though a hundred or more feet of rock in forming its present channel. The Upper Iowa River flowed along the Chimney Rocks before Indians came to what is now Iowa. When Columbus set out in three tiny ships for the New World, the Upper Iowa flowed placidly through the woods and meadows of this place, and the Chimney Rocks stood watch over the river as now. When Patrick Henry shouted about liberty and death to the Continental Congress, the Chimney Rocks stood over the river, unconcerned. When thousands of Americans went off to fight in two world wars, the Upper Iowa and the Chimney Rocks were unimpressed. It was only after all those events, after that vast, unknowable stretch of geologic time, that I came in my eye-blink of time, to hunt squirrels on the upper edge of the Chimney Rocks. On that particular stretch of the bluffs, where I crept closer to the tantalizing flick of a gray squirrel’s tail, a section of the edge of the cliff stood as it had for millennia, waiting for a seminal event in the Earth’s history.

    That seminal event, of course, was my stepping on that section of the cliff top. A large section of the cliff face – the section I was standing on – chose that moment – that precise moment! After millions of years of geologic time, after all the seasons, all the events, the section of cliff face chose that moment to give way and tumble to the river a hundred feet below.

    Not being entirely willing to plummet a hundred feet into the river myself, I grabbed the only lifeline offered – a two-inch sapling growing near the new edge of the cliff. I then found myself in the interesting predicament of being suspended over a vast gulf of chilly mid-western air, a hundred feet over a six-inch deep river with a hard rock bottom. I had a rapidly shrinking sapling in one hand and my rifle in the other.

    The squirrel bounded to the end of his limb and looked down. I wasn’t aware until that time that squirrels could adopt an intolerably smug expression.

    Several seconds later, the detached rocks pattered into the water far below.

    With the usual teenage aplomb, I flung the rifle up over the edge, to free my other hand; I was unable, however, to reach the sapling with my free hand.

    After several years (well, it was probably only several seconds) it occurred to me that my salvation lay in my hunting partner Jon, who still stalked tree-dwelling rodents some fifty yards away. With a voice pitched a couple of octaves higher than normal, I calmly called to him.

    “Hey! I could use a hand over here, Jon!”

    Jon wasn’t known as a particularly bright character, but he did possess a certain primitive slyness.

    “Are you trying to get me to spook him your way?” Jon replied, referring to the squirrel. “You can’t catch me that way! I’ll be on him in a minute!”

    The squirrel grinned down at me from the branch.

    “Jon, just get over here!”

    Jon, walking towards the sound of my voice, was rather intrigued to find a .22 rifle lying unattended on the ground. At this point, even his primitive intellect sensed something amiss.

    “Say,” Jon noted, “You can’t shoot no squirrel without your rifle.”

    At this point, the sapling had shrunk to approximately the diameter of 2-pound test monofilament. The squirrel made himself comfortable on the end of his limb, in anticipation of shortly seeing a teenage boy attempt to fly.

    Well, to make a long story short, Jon eventually saw my hand holding onto the sapling, and my arm disappearing, strangely, over the edge of the cliff. At this point, he realized that something had to be done and with a strength born of all his summers of tossing hay bales, he got hold of my wrist and managed to haul me to safety.

    As I sat a few feet back from the edge that had almost led to the early and catastrophic end to my career, gasping hard enough to strip leaves off of bushes fifty feet away, Jon handed me my .22. The squirrel, sensing a reversal in his fortunes, had long since departed.

    We trudged back to Jon’s van in silence.

    Finally, as he was starting his ancient and asthmatic Dodge van, Jon decided to break the silence.

    “So, I guess you didn’t get a shot at him, huh?”

    As the years have gone on, I’ve grown somewhat more cautious. With age comes wisdom, after all, or so I’m told. (My wife may disagree.) In Colorado, mountain terrain offers unique opportunities for some really spectacular falls while pursuing mule deer and elk. Still, my record is improving, and my id and ego don’t fight over things as they used to, perhaps because 50-something-year old bodies don’t recover from spectacular drops onto sharp rocks as well as 15-year old ones do:

    EGO: “Listen, those rocks are probably pretty stable. And you’re at least ten feet from that drop off, and the slope’s not that steep. You did see an elk over there three weeks ago, remember?”

    ID: “I don’t like this. That’s at least a two hundred foot drop off, and I don’t think it’s ten feet, I think it’s more like three.”

    EGO: “Well, maybe you’re right. Let’s go back to camp for a sandwich.”

    Some things really do improve with age!

  • Send in Your Thanksgiving Recipes!

    Just a small reminder: if you have any Thanksgiving recipes you’d like to share with the community this Sunday, please email them to me ASAP!

    sp@ this website.

    Thank you!

  • Outdoor Recreation for Liberty Valuing Individuals – Part 2

    PART THE SECOND

    Sailing (Or- Being wet, cold, sore and sick doesn’t seem like a Jimmy Buffett song.)

     

    Sailing in “Hawaiian snow”

     

    In the first part of this tome I advocated for giving a thought towards rock climbing as a possible sport for those seeking an individual freedom recreational activity.  But some of you may live too far from climbable areas and others may go, “Wait, what did you say about bodies and granite blocks?”  For you, I propose another sport with much to offer from an individual freedom aspect- sailing.

    The popular thoughts about sailing bring up images of Judge Smails from “Caddyshack,” Ron Rico from “Captain Ron,” or billionaire sailors burning $1000 bills for lighting cigars while watching the America’s Cup.   The truth about sailing is vastly different.  Young people, old people, rich and poor people can all access the water, enjoy themselves and experience individual freedom while sailing.

    The quotable CPT Ron…

     

    and an appropriate boat name for this spot.

     

    What is sailing and why is it better than just messing around in a boat? (Or- Isn’t a sailboat on the water just like a Prius or a bicycle on the Interstate?)

    Sailing encompasses huge areas of activity and the sailors who enjoy their sport widely consider other sailors to be misguided, crazy or boring.  If you are interested in sailing you are quickly confronted with questions like: monohulls, multi-hulls, one design racing, day sailing, cruising, racing inshore or offshore, just getting out on the water, and a mix of some or all of the above.

    You can participate in any or all forms of sailing once you learn the basics on how to more or less safely balance the interactions of two fluids while manipulating a vertically mounted airfoil.  Once you have made headway on that you can then follow activities according to your interests, sailing areas, available cash and potential partners.

    I initially learned to sail while in grade school on a golf course pond in southern AZ.  I didn’t think much about sailing again until I was living in the German Alps with a young family and lots of lakes nearby.  I needed a weekend outdoors activity I could do with my youngun’s while their mother was at work.  Bingo!  We could go sailing.   The challenges and joys were real and it was an activity that they liked as well.

    But back to the question at hand.  Why an ancient method of propulsion like a sail when you can speed around with huge engines and modern speed? Short answer: freedom and relative costs.

    The pointy end is in the front and the stick goes up.  (Or- As Captain Ron said, “Well swab, once you do that job well, you can get a better job, then another and you may become a mate.”)

    Most people learn to sail either by starting on a small and simple boat or by crewing on a bit larger boat and picking up skills.  I think a combination of the two is probably the optimum way, if the option is available.  In a small boat you can learn how to manipulate your sails to achieve a desired result while keeping the costs of error very low and easy to recover from.  My first boat was an open hull with a basic lanteen rig (one triangular sail mounted partway back from a corner).

    Dbl Eagle’s first yacht

     

    I could sail in small bodies of water near home at speeds that didn’t freak out young kids and if the boat went on its side it was easy to recover from.  That was good since one absolute fact is that if you sail a small boat you will go into the water sometimes.  All these things were great since I had to judge weather, water and could work my way to my goals.

    Many local groups use smaller boats to keep expenses low, and open up sailing instruction to kids as young as seven or eight.  If you get a youngster deciding on a course and learning how to get there and back you breed an independent spirit within them.  As their confidence and skills grow so is their ability to direct their exploration.

    But don’t sell small boats out.  Pretty well all great modern sailors learned on small boats and the Olympics feature only 1-2 person boats.  Your basic Laser class sailboat is found everywhere from local resorts and community sailing classes to the Olympics.  A well-tuned and well sailed Laser goes like a bat out of hell and is great challenge.

    Laser with beginners in light air.

     

    Laser with US Olympian Anna Tunnclife in more air.

     

    Sailing with a more experienced crew is another great way to learn.  I didn’t have this opportunity when I was first learning how to sail since there wasn’t a well-developed sailing community where I lived.  That meant I had to learn AND FAST how to make decisions to protect my crew (aka family) but it also left holes in my knowledge.

    After I moved to Hawaii I first joined sailing with others on their boats and I have learned an amazing amount from some incredibly experienced sailors.  I had to take the initiative to introduce myself to a skipper and convince them to take a chance on me.  Luckily, that wasn’t too hard, but to get an invitation to return for another sail I had to show that I was open to instruction and was a good team member.  As I did that I gained more responsibility and then that opened more responsibility.

    There is no government process that says who must let you sail, what responsibilities you get and when you must be promoted.  It is up to you and your crew.  If you aren’t happy you can freely depart and find a new crew that may better agree with you.

     

    Fast is relative. (Or- Jeebus! We are going 18 knots and it feels like we are flying.)

    Sailboats range the gamut from older boats with traditional sail plans to the new planning boats that actually are above the water and any sailboat can move faster than the apparent wind propelling them.   On a smaller boat that I race we are ecstatic if we can hit and hold 6 knots, on other boats we are feeling down if we dip below 15 knots for any length of time.

    Yeah, a power boat can speed right up with enough engine and a proper sea state, but to get to near a sailboat’s theoretical speed is exciting in and of itself.  Another plus is the wind is free. When I was sailing in Southern California in the 1990s there was a midsized powerboat a few places over.  One time talking with the owner he mentioned how he was happy with the dip in gas prices because he could go to and from the Cali coast to a nearish Channel Island for only $100 in fuel.  I was gobsmacked and asked if he was going at hull speed and he said no, that was a cruising speed.  With my sailboat it cost me a few cents of gas to get out and under sail and a few cents more when having the engine on while anchoring and getting into the slip at the end.  My trip to and from the islands was less than a Quarter.  He got to the island quicker, but it cost me less money for the initial investment, in maintenance costs, in fuel costs and as a bonus no damage to my hearing from engine noise.

     

    Entropy is supreme at sea. (Or- Why fix it right when we can fix it right now?)

    Boats break, things on boats break, things that hear the word “boat” break and they all need to be fixed.  Sailors get to be handy at making repairs because things don’t like to break when it’s convenient or when a professional is nearby.  Some very rich sailors with the mega yachts have entire crews to make repairs at sea while the owner catches up on binging a Netflix show using the alternate power systems.  The rest of us learn how to make repairs, figure out a jury rig, think up alternates and determine stockage rates of tools, repair parts, fuel and lubricants.

    It doesn’t matter what you sail, be it a small boat like a Laser, a mid-range boat, or a larger boat- ongoing maintenance is key and even then it will not be sufficient.  Every sailor I know with at least a modicum of experience can do some small engine maintenance, rig tuning to keep the mast upright, sail repair, and hundreds of other small tasks.  You need these skills since at some point you’ll be called on to fix something or develop a work around while far away from shore.  Or at worst, you must be able to abandon a boat with all your crew and sufficient supplies to survive while you send out an SOS.

    I know a couple of sailors who could make MacGuyver throw up his hands and exclaim, “How did you do that?”  I’ll discuss it more later, but a good mechanic, computer or radio tech can make more than enough to be able to finance an unlimited time cruising.   The above principle applies to medicine as well.  Sailors know they are the first responder for their vessel and those who travel beyond the horizon often have more medical knowledge than that.  People who are able to keep systems running through their own, or small group, knowledge tend to see beyond the trope that government must take care of us.

     

    Your horizons while sailing are virtually unlimited. (Or from Captain Ron again- If something is going to happen, it’s going to happen out there.)

    Many sailors decide that they want to venture farther than what can be conveniently sailed when you must get back to your starting point before the day ends.  This doesn’t mean you need a 100 foot long mega yacht.  I started “cruising” with my kids in my first boat with some camping gear and we sailed to a small island in big lake and camped the night.

    Many cruising areas feature passages which never involve leaving the sight of land.  Some of these areas can be explored for your entire life and you’ll never run out of new places to see.  But the common feature of almost all cruising areas is that the vessel crew decides on timing, routes, speeds, what to see and what to skip, where to spend the night(s) and what is your luxury and how you want to accommodate it.

    Poorly named Desolation Sound, BC.

    Passage making is not the government’s responsibility.  Depending on where you go the variables can be easy to very challenging and it is all on the skipper, perhaps with the assistance of the crew.  You are responsible for studying the weather, tides, currents, depths, available daylight, strength of crew, logistics of the boat and any other variables and then you make the call.  The government is not there, it is up to your judgment alone.

    It is wise to let others know of your plans- but there is no governmental requirement.  It is judicious to not be too adventurous for your experience- but it is your call.  If you speak with the skipper and go, “No, I don’t think is wise (or fun)” it is up to you to make the call to not go.  But the water and atmosphere can always throw in an unexpected variable and it is up to crew to deal with it.  People who seek out this responsibility tend to be distrustful of the judgment of government “experts.”

    The first rule is to stay on the boat.

     

    When I am cruising I like spending the night “on the hook” and am not big on tying up to a dock and dealing with paying and all the hassles of dock life like lights streaming  into cabins and/or lines hitting masts all night.  When we sailed in Puget Sound and the San Juan Islands we rarely spent the night in a marina since there was always a new place to anchor for the night.  Once on the hook I would throw the crab pot out, we might go to shore to go clamming or collect mussels and start enjoying evening cocktails.

    Here in Hawaii it is a rare interisland passage where we don’t catch a fresh mahi mahi or tuna to grill in the evening, again while enjoying a cocktail after a dive to check out the local sea life.  Because of the realities of anchoring and having sufficient space for “swinging around the anchor” it is a rare night to have many boats close to each other.  If you want to have others over or dinghy over to another boat that is great.  If you want to ignore the others, that is great too.  I especially like those nights which the anchorage is mine alone.

    Anchorages sometimes have limits emplaced to protect features or because local knowledge knows some areas are dangerous if the weather turns.  But most anchorages are totally up to the skill and judgment of the skipper and crew.  It is your job to determine the spot (knowing that it your responsibility to stay away from earlier anchored boats), making sure the anchor is set, how long of line should between the anchor and boat (7 to 1 is pretty standard), that the boat will remain safe if a storm blows in/the tide drops or rises etc.

    Then when it is time to leave it is up to you to recover the anchor and make your way safely out of the anchorage to open water.  I have been “trapped” in a small anchorage for almost two days because an unexpected swell closed the entrance to safe passage.  But since provisioning the boat is up to the skipper and crew with no government minimums, we had plenty of food, water and beer, but we did run out of black strap rum.

    Sunset in a “crowded” Maui anchorage.

     

    Taking the big jump. (Or- When you see the Southern Cross for the first time You know now why you came this way.)

    It doesn’t happen to every sailor, and for others it may only happen once, but many sailors look at a sailboat and go why shouldn’t I just sail to Tahiti? (Or to Hawaii, across the Atlantic, to Iceland, around Cape Horn, to Bermuda, or, or, or, or) Plenty of sailors have crossed oceans on sailboats less than 30 feet and most sailboats crossing oceans are under ~40 feet.

    You know how to keep the boat moving forward, you know (and have hopefully practiced) emergency procedures, the boat is well “found” (maintained and equipped), between you and your crew you have knowledge of repairs, plenty of food, drink and appropriate clothing.  So why not, why the HELL NOT, shouldn’t you just let loose the lines and sail over the ever receding horizon?

    Many sailors do decide to sail away- some for an occasional passage and others for days, years and even decades at a time.  They take advantage of the freedom of the ocean to become worldwide travelers and view the entire globe as a potential port of call.  Thanks to modern communications and transportation these free spirits can stay in contact with loved ones, and for a lucky few their employers.

    I have met people who work editing technical publications, freelance authors, and developing/testing code to keep a regular paycheck coming in.  Others are great with their tools and hands and refill their coffers by performing repairs beyond other sailors’ skills.  Almost without exception none of the people are rich in money and they fully acknowledge the sacrifices in other aspects that they are making to live the life they want.

    Some are poor, very poor, in a material sense.  Everything they own is in their 32 foot long kingdom.  A kingdom that is decades old but lovingly maintained.  But I have never met a cruiser that didn’t have lifetimes of experience and a spirit that valued nothing above freedom.

    Approaching Oahu while returning from Maui. These crew members are working to keep the boat properly healed over.

     

    The first time I went on an extended passage I was with some experienced people and one other first timer.  A few hours after leaving shore we were far enough out to sea that all you could see was the constantly moving blue water spreading to every horizon; that night’s moonless sky was so full of stars it was hard to make out the constellations and the Andromeda Galaxy (M31) was a clearly distinct smudge in the sky. The sound of the water rushing past a few inches from my head as I tried to sleep and the never ending motion was freedom to me.  To the other first timer……….not so much.  He’s a hard charging inshore and off shore racer who can still be counted on to be there and bust his ass to try and help us win, but he discovered that a day on the boat is enough for him.  He pulled his weight and nobody gave him anything but good natured ribbing for deciding that he would buy a flight home and not return with us.  Like I said at the start of this tome- every sailor has their own way and every way right for them.

     

    Crew rest is important while cruising.

     

    Racing. (Or- Don’t kid yourself. If two boats are sailing the same direction there is a race going in in at least one skipper’s mind.)

    At one end of the spectrum of sailboat racing are the round-the-globe races.  These are expensive, grueling tests for a solo sailor or crew and the boat.  At the other end of racing spectrum are two skippers betting on who buys the first round while heading to a location.  (There is much truth to the dictum: sailboats are propelled by the wind but are powered by alcohol.) Wherever your race falls on the spectrum it will probably make you a better sailor.

    There is no self-delusion on how well you are getting speed.  Those other boats are keeping you honest about how good your choice of direction is, how well your sails are set, how balanced your rudder is and a hundred other details.

    I started racing on a regular basis when I moved to Hawaii and have received a constant tutorial on boat speed, sail shape, balancing a vessel, and anticipating wind shifts.  One to two nights a week year round and several weekend days each month I am out there learning.  Plus when we do well, the prize pitchers of Cuba Libres or Margaritas taste extra good.  Since people who make decisions well outside the norms of the fleet can end up winning, most sailors don’t believe in blindly accepting the approved wisdom delivered from on high- they’ll make their own decisions thank you very much.

    Start of a race. Balancing boldness and caution is supreme.

     

    Downsides to sailing and cruising. (Or-Guerrilla. Gorilla.  Huuuge difference.)

    Well to be frank- you will get seasick at some point.  Everybody does, so the only thing to remember is concentrate on the horizon if you can and go ahead and puke over the leeward (downwind) side of the boat because you’ll feel better after you chum the water.  You will be late at some point for some event important to your spouse/employer because the winds will be either too low or too high.  Sailing is much more work than most people think so you’ll get sore muscles, bruises and “boat bites”; but these are a sign of a life well led.  There is much truth to the saying that the two happiest days of boat ownership are the day you buy it and the day you sell it.

    The final downside I’ll address is the US Coast Guard.  “Coasties” do sometimes perform amazing acts of seamanship or flying to rescue professional seamen or recreational sailors. For that I doff my hat at their skill and bravery.  However, the USCG does not like recreational sailors or boaters because: A) We are too independent on the water and have beat back their every attempt to try and force people to use tracking beacons on their vessels; B) We do not like inspections at sea and regard “safety inspections” (aka snooping for drugs or contraband) of our vessels with at best ill hid contempt. Yep the government is the biggest downside to sailing- imagine that.

     

    Lasers during World Championships demonstrate the downside of failing to properly balance the interactions of two bodies of fluids.

     

    When is enough enough? (Or-Swallowing the anchor)

    Sailing can be a lifelong experience.  Multiple times a year I see the local yacht clubs running classes for 7-8 year old boys and girls.  I love watching them getting that first taste of responsibility and freedom.  There are young teens I race against who know how to get speed almost like magic in any wind condition or sea state and understand the Racing Rules like a Supreme Court justice knows the law.  I have met older men who were still racing, and beating our collective asses, at 92 years of age.

    I shared an interisland passage with a couple in their 70s who had full professional lives, grown kids and multiple grandkids.  After they retired they decided to cruise for 3 years.  They are still cruising and said that their original decision was almost old enough to vote, but one year their 3 year cruise would end.

    I hope to have time to cross oceans, see Cape Horn to port under a full moon, gunkhole in deserted bays in Desolation Sound while listening to the sounds of Orcas speaking through my hull as I enjoy a glass of wine and fresh caught Dungeness Crab.  And most of all to continue to enjoy the freedom that sailing offers far from suffocation of government.   My advice is to give sailing a try since it can be experienced all over the Glibertariat.  If a young person is looking for a chance to learn skills, experience the freedom of literally “shaping their own course” and to compete against others- let them learn to sail.  The worst that will happen is that before you know it you’ll read the entire Aubrey/Maturin series of books.

    Out for a sail-or- a bad day on the water beats almost any good day on land.

     

    ** Except for the Laser photos, I am in or took most of the photos.

  • Thursday Afternoon Links – Drunken Raccoon Coffin Sex edition

    “SHE’S DEAD! WRAPPED IN PLASTIC!” Oh, Pete. Dear Pete.

    Here’s your chance to buy the coffin used for Laura Palmer’s burial in Twin Peaks. I can’t imagine any use for it beyond Claus Von Bulow sex games or a coffee table that makes your Tinder hook-up run out screaming (or, perhaps worse, NOT run out screaming.)

    And, no, I didn’t watch the remake, sequel, whatever you want to call it.


    Couple and Homeless Man Said to Have Made Up Story Behind $400,000 GoFundMe Campaign

    The strange case of a couple in New Jersey who raised $400,000 on GoFundMe for a homeless good Samaritan appears to be skidding into a surprise ending.

    Following earlier legal turmoil, the couple reportedly turned themselves in to [sic] authorities on Wednesday and will face charges for allegedly conspiring with the man to make up a heartwarming story in order to crowdfund the fortune, according to newly reported court documents.

    NBC Philadelphia obtained a copy of a complaint by Burlington County prosecutors that accuses Mark D’Amico and Kate McClure of conspiring with Johnny Bobbitt Jr. to deceive GoFundMe users into making donations. A source familiar with the case told NBC that D’Amico and McClure had already turned themselves in but did not confirm if Bobbitt had done the same.

    According to the report, the three made up the story that inspired 14,000 contributors to raise $400,000 for Bobbitt. In October of 2017, McClure started a GoFundMe campaign that claimed she’d run out of gas on the interstate when Bobbitt, who was allegedly homeless, approached her car. She said that he told her to sit tight and proceeded to use his last $20 to get her fuel. Inspired by his kindness, she and her boyfriend, D’Amico, set out to raise $10,000, allegedly to get him on his feet. A flood of donations ensued as the story went viral and the couple made television appearances. It’s unclear exactly what parts of the story were allegedly made up, but NBC claims that the charges will include conspiracy and theft by deception.

    The GoFundMe scam is a fine long con to add to the grifter playbook.


    Raccoons Suspected of Having Rabies Were Actually Just Drunk as Hell

    Following recent reports that two masked perpetrators were raising alarm in a town in West Virginia, police say they have reason to believe the troublemakers had just gotten wrecked.

    The Milton Police Department reportedly received accounts of stumbling and disoriented raccoons at least twice in the last week, and locals worried the raccoons might have rabies. But those suspicions were wrong. The raccoons in question—including one who was identified by police as Dallas—had reportedly gotten wasted by eating some fermented crab apples.

    “Ptl Scarberry made his first apprehension today, taking this masked bandit into custody with assistance [sic] of Sgt Collins and several neighborhood residents,” the Milton Police Department wrote in a Facebook post on Monday. “Ptl Withers caught one yesterday on Brickyard Ave with the help of the city street department. Today’s culprit was on Highland Ave and Mason Street and it was a community effort.”

    Both raccoons have been safely collected and dropped off in the woods. The department noted that if you happen to stumble upon one of these drunk idiots, you should not approach them. Call the city’s non-emergency line and they’ll come to collect the bombed raccoon themselves.

    You and your buddy are just out to have a good time, get a little tipsy and the fucking cops scoop you up and dump you out in the middle of nowhere and you’re like “Earl, where the hell are we?” and Earl’s all like, “How the hell am I supposed to know?” and you’re like, “What the hell was in those crab apples?” and Earl’s all like, “Beats me, dude, but I ain’t never drink again! Let’s try to figure out how to get home!” and then you both try not get eaten by a gotdamn cougar.

    “Which button takes the pitcher, Earl?”

     

    KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE! DAMN YOU TO HELL, TIM BURTON!

    https://youtu.be/7NiYVoqBt-8

    No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
    no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
    no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
    no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.


    And to get the horrible elephant out of your head…