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Today is memo day! Today is memo day! Today is memo day!

Looks like a bunch of Russian athletes will have their doping bans lifted.  But who cares since there will be no NHL players in the Olympics.  Speaking of which, the Maple Leafs, Crapitals and Red Wings were winners last night. And on the hardwood, Cincy, Purdue, UVA, Arizona and Michigan State all won while West Virginia fell.

Across the pond, Bournemouth drilled Chelsea, Man Shitty won again while their crosstown rivals fell to Spurs. Everton won (after Liverpool won Tuesday, by the way) and there were a couple of ties.

That’s all for that.  Now…the links!

Oh no! Here’s the smoking gun that will take the admin down for sure.  I’ll lay it all out: A former spokesman for Trump’s legal team allegedly said he is prepared to tell Mueller that Hope Hicks may have considered obstructing justice in one comment she made to him about Trump Jr’s meeting with a couple of Russians. You got that?  And apparently he said he keeps notes of meetings. So that, you know, should corroborate his story of her making a comment that no evidence suggests she even followed up on. By the way, what Trump Jr said in public about the reason for the meeting doesn’t matter as long as he told the truth to the FBI and the congressional committees that interviewed him. And we all know what he told them was leaked about 15 minutes after he said it, which is what caused the talking heads at CNN and MSNBC to explode…until it came out that the people he met were somehow allowed to be here because someone in the Obama White House had personally signed off on their presence but have since refused to discuss it.

The whole thing is laughable. And if they’re thinking this latest round of unsubstantiated claims of thoughtcrime that can’t in any way be corrobborated is going to move the needle on impeachment at all, they’re as dumb as they look.

Speaking of the memo that is set to be released today, the FBI has grave concerns about its accuracy since it omits so many facts.  In other words, it only discusses what the principals may have done wrong and doesn’t touch on the good parts of the investigation.  Because every time they hold a press conference about a suspect, I know they go out of their way to tell the public that the perp was an otherwise kind person and even took care of a stray dog once.  Hell, there are enough violations of ethics rules by McCabe alone to sink any investigation that ensued from information he gathered or was involved in finding.  Like, for instance, if he essentially tricked Michael Flynn into lying to him in what he would have considered to be a normal FBI briefing as opposed to an interview about Russian collusion.

In related news, Mueller and Flynn have both requested a delay in the sentencing hearing of Flynn. This on the heels of the same request being made for Papadapolous’s sentencing.  Conjecture away as to the reason, but I have no idea why a defendant would submit to a delay in sentencing for something he’s pleaded guilty to (that carries a minimal sentence with little to no jail time) unless there is a compelling reason to do so…like rescinding the plea because the evidence gathered was tainted.  But we’re gonna have to wait to find out about that too, although I suspect Nunes will shed a little light on that as well.

Nashville mayor admits to having an affair with her head of security. Hey, what they do on their own time is their own business…oh wait, apparently it wasn’t on their own time. Not unless they were banging after he had clocked out. Which doesn’t seem to have been very often since he racked up $50,000 in overtime last year.  And there’s not a whiff of impropriety in the fact that he, and he alone, accompanied the mayor on “fact-finding” trips to Paris and Athens and other exotic locales.  Because if I know anything about the relationship between Nashville and Paris, Athens and Madrid, its that they need constant maintenance from the mayor and her head of security alone.

California: prepare to get fucked at the pump.

And coming to you live from the “No Fucking Shit” Department.

Meanwhile shit that happened overnight less than a block from my babysitter’s house. Which means I did the links with three little monkeys hanging all over me this morning because I can’t take them over until 8 because she had to drive her kids to school.

That’s it.  Except for this tie-in to the last link.

Go have a wonderful day, friends.

Hello again Glibsters. Its yer old buddy, Brett. I’m tired and don’t want to be here today. How the hell are each of you? Also, you guys gotta start doing some work during the day. All my links are stale by the time they go up.

I’ve been waiting all day to post this. In which the Chronicle of Higher Education lashes out at those who think educators can be quantified by metrics. My favorite sentence: “Like most professionals, academics resent the imposition of goals that may conflict with their professional ethos and judgment, thus lowering morale.” In IT work, that’s pretty much every day I come to work.

Caviezel and Gibson plan sequel to The Passion of Christ. Look, I know movie adaptations of books sometimes don’t follow the Canon. But I’v read the rest of the book TPoC was based on. Caviezel isn’t getting a whole lot more screen time.

Google may still tell themselves “Don’t Be Evil”, but they should also tell themselves “Don’t Help Evil”.

I’m sad that the headline doesn’t match the url — “Knitting Nazis” is a great alliterative headline.

Mr. Lizard, it looks like a couple of deliveries from home went a bit off the mark.

Stumbled across this looking for something new for y’all. I like the sentiment.

Hockey is back! And there were some nice upsets (Go No Gata!), close calls (Vandy-UK) and good games in college basketball last night, especially the Buckeyes dismantling Indiana after that tough loss the other day in which they got screwed by the refs. I know many of you chose one of those two things rather than the SOTU last night.  I decided to watch Weird Science and explain to my son this is how nerds used to overcome adversity: by creating women (or Pershing missiles) in their bedroom with bras on their heads.  He was taking notes, which makes me nervous. Also, RIP Chet.

So you guys can discuss all that in the comments or you can discuss, among other things…the links!

From the recaps I saw and the comments I looked at last night, I can’t tell if Trump delivered his State Of The Union speech last night to his base, to those he’s courting to add to that base or exclusively to his political opponents.  I do know CNN apparently conjectured that his wife wore white to protest…him? And that she rode separately out of protest too…even though she was escorting his guests personally to the event.  And then Kennedy and the chapstick and his calling out Trump for bullying tranny kids or something?  And where was Maxine?  I was spectin to hea a ho lotta biness bout ‘peachment. An wif her not speak’n, I dinna hea bout ‘peachment. Oh well, I’m sure she’ll start talking about it again soon when the Nunes memo gets released.

Looks like Andrew McCabe, new hero of the left, has a few questions that need to be answered. I’m curious how the “Hillary got railroaded because they waited till the last minute to examine her emails” narrative will play out now that it looks like they were trying to sweep the whole thing completely under the rug but had to announce their existence as the truth was being leaked by front-line FBI agents.

Speaking of FBI agents, this one here sounds like a real idiot. Which means he’ll keep his job and/or get a sweet early retirement…all for killing the person he was sent to rescue but completely failed to identify before pulling the trigger twice. You know the way to not “fear losing control of your weapon”? Well, try not jamming it through a window barrel-first to a dark room in a hostage situation for starters.

Shit, I saw the headline and I assumed SA had finally got a spine. Then I read the story and realized they had merely increased the wattage in their social signaler. Seriously…what a bunch of fucking asshats.

I can’t figure this out.  Is it some Harrison Bergeron-type shit going on, or is a Berkeley, CA public school using a weighted compression vest to punish kindergarteners who get a little excitable? Either way, its child abuse and stretches any acceptable level of in loco parentis beyond a reasonable level. And if it happened to one of my kids and I was given such a flippant answer when I questioned it, there would likely be blood spilled. Plenty of blood.

I’m shocked! Shocked to find corruption going on in Cook County, Illinois!

Somebody get this guy a bus ticket to Florida. Oh wait, Powhatan is the Florida of Virginia, so it all makes sense.

Here’s his theme music. He’s earned it.

Good luck out there today, friends. I know it’ll be filled with apoplexy over the SOTU. And with a little luck, the Nunes memo will push them over the edge. ::fingers crossed::

Revolutions can be kindled from the smallest spark: Disneyland animatronic loses head, scares riders

A woman aboard the Little Mermaid ride at Disney’s California Adventure was spooked when she noticed one of the animatronic figures was missing something.

In a video posted to Twitter, the Ursula figure was seen moving around with her head dangling off her bosom from cables and wires. Despite not having a head, the figure continued to sing and dance.

…

Coincidentally, attractions at a different Disney park also suffered similar malfunctions. Tweets posted by visitors at Disneyland Paris displayed one of the animatronics on Pirates of the Caribbean also missing a head.

“Coincidence” “Malfunction” These are the lies they feed us. The robots are rising up and none of us will be safe.

Read on, if you dare.

Horribly ugly person who makes “music” you don’t listen to involved in a local story that doesn’t deserve the attention it is getting is commented on by a website that serves no real function and is reposted here because I hate myself for reading it first. (7.5 million trigger warnings)

Cannibal Cop 2: Cannibal Librarian. And Cannibal Mechanic. And Cannibal Occupation Undefined. Really, we can just keep this series on the air for years.

A former Stuyvesant High School librarian busted for his role in the notorious “cannibal cop” case will feast on 15 years behind bars for conspiring to kidnap and consume women.

Christopher Asch, 65, was sentenced Monday by Manhattan Federal Court Judge Paul Gardephe, who said there was “overwhelming evidence that Mr. Asch constitutes a danger to the community.”

 In 2013, Asch was arrested as part of a federal investigation into so-called cannibal cop Gilberto Valle.

Asch, Valle and two others chatted on DarkFetishNet, where they shared plans to kidnap, torture, kill and eat women and children, prosecutors said.

Arrested for chatting with other deranged weirdoes… Good thing there’s no parallel or lesson for any of us here.

Music that goes with the feature image, you exhibitionists:

Still no hockey. Duke won in college basketball, preparing Americans’ disgust for the upcoming New England Super Bowl victory. And there was a big NBA trade that I couldn’t possibly care less about.  And that’s it. That’s pretty much the entire sports world yesterday. I don’t count the witch hunt of the football and basketball coaches at Michigan State a sports story. But I will mention here that neither of those head coaches or men on their staff have a responsibility to monitor, punish or otherwise do anything to adults whose alleged actions are the purview of the legal system, not Title IX kangaroo courts set up by the schools. Doing so diminishes the right of due process to those people and undermines our entire criminal justice system. Participating in those shams should be actionable.

That’s it. I went off the rails again.  Sorry.  Let’s see if I can make it up to you in…the links!

Hardline Hamas leader “dies” after “shooting himself in the head”.  Maybe the dies shouldn’t be in quotation marks. I don’t know because I haven’t seen the body. But the second part most likely does.  I mean, if he got all suicidy, wouldn’t he have gone full Hamas and blown himself up on a bus full of innocent Israeli children or something?

After such a long wait, has Hollywood finally made a really kick-ass comic book movie? (Confession: I thought Spider Man Homecoming was very well-done.) Well, its Marvel, so it has a much better chance of being good that if it was a DC film. Meh, I’ll have to see what real people rather than critics say.

HBCU graduation rates are probably a little lower than they ought to be. Of course, the researchers quoted in the story have a solution: throw more money at them. You know, because the solution to a 5% graduation rate after six years has to be more spending.

All that bitching from Pelosi and the other scumbag politicians from the Bay Area about how Trump is killing their housing industry by cutting taxes appears to be what L.Q. Clemonds would call “a load of hooey”.

Chicago government can’t even figure out how to run a ticketing scam. Well, they could until the courts reviewed it and realized it was a gross violation of due process.  Now if only every other city in America would abandon the whole traffic camera thing.

Republicans vote to #releasethememo. And the whole McCabe resignation gets funnier as known perjurer and Keystone Kop of an investigator James Comey rushes to support him. He did not receive such kind words, allegedly, from Trump however after his wife lost her Clinton-funded run for office. Or when he let the taxpayers foot the bill for Comey’s use of official transport after he was let go. The whole thing is hilarious and one can only expect it to get even funnier tonight.

Get some visine handy. There’s a lot of dusty air around here. Or is someone cutting onions?  Oh yeah, its neither. Its the last link of the morning links. (TW: you will probably cry if you read this.)

This is for the people mentioned right above.

Have a great day, friends.

Beloved contributor Jesse, whose most recent post is just below this one, is having a birthday today. Let’s just say 29. 29 is a good internet age. Wish him Happy Birthday in the comments and encourage him to post more often.

Depending on which coverage you follow, FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe — whose wife is closely tied to Terry McAuliffe and Hillary Clinton — is either “removed” or “stepping down” from his position. However you look at it, it appears he’ll be spending his PTO on getting himself across his pension threshold. Infowars and Breitbart are probably orgiastic paroxysms of victorious joy over this.

In today’s entry of Stuff only White People Care About: Chief Wahoo gets white-washed from Cleveland Indigenous Persons uniforms.

WaPo remembers when Woodrow Wilson ruined things by giving a SOTU speech in person.

Let’s see if Florida is still 50th now that Beckham has a communist football club in Miami. “The team will play in a 25,000-seat, privately funded stadium to be built in the city’s Overtown neighborhood”. On the other hand, astronauts will screw anything at 2am.

I wish we had a classy executive like the French.

Woodrow Wilson thing made me think of this.