Blog

  • This week in vegan school…

    I have learned a lot of uh…interesting… things since going vegan, and being the generous and sharing person I am, I’ve decided to start sharing the things I’ve learned here, with my lovely community of Glibs with a new screenshot every week.

     

    I can't make this shit up.

  • Monday Afternoon Linkses

    So my eldest son obviously got all the right genes. He didn’t even drink and woke up with the Irish Flu the day after the Super Bowl. For those counting, he’s getting close to Ferris Bueller territory for absences this year. I’ve got to teach him how to hack into his school and change that now.

    Bottom story of the year: Comey well liked by FBI staffers. I bet he wasn’t throwing their friends in prison for owning the wrong kind of plant. They should go jump up their own assholes.

    I’m interested to see what the response to this junkie’s tale is. Getting an organ removed to get drugs, that’s pretty fucking hardcore.

    SEA SMITH KNOW HOW RAPEY DOLPHINS ARE. MAKE SHARK LOVE CHILD.

    Libertarian Moment in England? Private police force with 100% conviction rate. When being wrong gets the fuck sued out of you….

    SugarFree strongly suggested this for the song today. And hey, who am I to give away a free day’s song?

     

  • Romanian Food – A Short Primer – Part One

    Romanians have the peculiar habit of, on occasion, eating food. This is talk of such food. So without further ado, let’s get to the heart of the matter – sometimes literally. Romanians consume offal, we eat nose to tail, like most not that prosperous countries, waste not and all that. As a note, I will not be covering fresh blood, as this is a touchy subject for outsiders. I will just mention that the best quality is from subjects 16 to 25 and their virginity is unimportant.

    Please also notice the typical Eastern European plastic table covering for the kitchen table - which as you can see also graces my kitchen.
    Nothing like sucking on a nice bone

    I will not attempt to cover what are authentic, traditional Romanian dishes. I have no idea and doubt anyone does. There is no way of knowing where a particular dish comes from, and Romanians generally share a lot of dishes with other countries around them. There are plenty of Slavic, Turkish, Greek and German/Hungarian influences. While Romania’s version of a stuffed leafs dish may derive from Greek, they may be independent. I will not go into the food available to relatively well-off urbanites such as yours truly (the sushi isn’t bad), but what is the generally the food of the common folk (such as you glibertarians might consume were you residents of this fine country).

    Romanians do eat a lot of ciorbă, but how typical it is, I dunno. Here is a example of a pork one, with a large bone with some meat covered by broth, a small glass of tuica and the requisite hot pepper. Please also notice the typical Eastern European plastic table covering for the kitchen table – which as you can see also graces my kitchen. Eating such ciorbăcan be an unaesthetic affair and a bit savage if you are not used to it, as it implies taking the bone in your hands, ripping meat off it with you teeth and then loudly slurping the bone marrow.

    No bloody vampire jokes!
    Mujdei

    Some claim mujdei de usturoi is Romanian, which is basically crushed garlic with salt, oil and water. I dunno, but several countries have garlic dips, although most are creamy and mayo-like. Mujdei is more watery and has small slivers of garlic in it, unincorporated in a paste. We also have mămăligă – basically corn meal, salt and water – similar to polenta, with various degrees of softness, depending on taste. It can range from quite solid to porridge like.

    Now an ehm… burning question is: is Romanian food hot or spicy? No it is not, or very rarely so. The local habit is to have a hot pepper on the side of the dish and occasionally bite it. This is raw in summer or pickled in winter. Generally Romanian farmers are not careful about grouping their peppers by heat or cultivar, so a particular pepper is usually a gamble on how hot. Romanians are not particular about cultivars so you always buy/request peppers. And in the same batch some may be hot, some not. Ciorbă is always accompanied by a hot pepper. For cabbage dishes some people – me included in some cases where the smell factor is not important – bite out of cloves of raw garlic as they eat.

    As for other spices, Romanian kitchens are not spice rich. Besides the ever present salt and pepper, garlic is used a lot, alongside thyme, paprika, parsley, dill. Bay leaves on occasion. Some other dried spices in small quantities.

    Much more Sibui cheese is sold in Romania than made in Sibiu
    Sibiu cheese

    For oil, Romanians most often use sunflower. It is cheaper and readily available, and made the locals feel good because it is mostly of local production, Romania is an important grower of sunflowers in Europe. Similar to sugar coming from locally grown sugar beets rather than imported cane sugar, although olive oil and cane sugar are rapidly growing in quantity consumed. Vinegar is most often white wine vinegar, followed by apple vinegar.

    Cheese is a big part of Romanian diet. Brânză is, as a random factoid, one of the words still considered to be left in Romanian from the Dacian language. In Romania, it is actually split into several categories: white cheese called brânză and yellow cheese called Caşcaval (etymology apparently from Sicilian Caciocavallo cheese). Brânză can be telemea (somewhat feta like) either fresh or aged, caş (soft with very little salt), urdă (made from whey) or using the diminutive branzica for cottage cheese. Caşcaval is often eaten breaded and deep fried, unlike the white stuff.

    The main meats the Romanians eat are pork and chicken. Those are by far the most consumed, with beef, mutton and waterfowl as second tier, “whatever else” is third.

    The main fish freshwater eaten are crap (European carp), caras (crucian carp) which is the main pan fish, somn (wells catfish), biban (perch), pastrav (trout), ştiuca (pike), şalau (zander), Scrumbie (Pontic Shad), with some other minor fish.

    The house wine in a carafe is not
    Stuffed pike is a delicacy

    Traditionally more freshwater fish is eaten than salt water. Stuff like tuna and salmon and sea bream are now eaten in the cities, but I will not include them. The main saltwater fish are chefal (golden grey mullet), guvid (Pinchuk’s goby), Hamsie (anchovy) served whole deep fried, zargan (garfish, Belone belone, or sea needle). Of the pricier traditional fish, the delicacies so to say, are calcan (turbot), rechin (shark) and various sturgeons.  Fish is most often eaten grilled or fried (usually dragged through corn flower before frying). Grilled fish is often eaten as Saramura (briened). Basically you heat some water, add salt, pepper, slice chile peppers in it and pour hot water on top. When you take the fish from the grill you place it in the brine, also besides on the grill sometimes bell pepper and tomatoes are added, and after grilled themselves, they are peeled cut into chunks and placed into the brine. Grilled chicken thighs are also sometimes eaten in Saramura.

    Romanians, at least ones I know, usually have a side salad with dishes. Unlike other people who have the salad as a separate course, salad in Romania is on the side of the main for lunch/dinner, or as a side to breakfast. It is most often lettuce or chopped cabbage (with sunflower oil and vinegar, not ugh mayo). In summer it is tomato salad – tomatoes, salt, pepper, sunflower oil and chopped raw onion. Another local favorite is ardei copt (baked bell pepper) which is as it sounds – you put a dry pan on a fire and add peppers in it until the skin turns blackish and can be easily removed. Take them off, peel the skin; add a bit of salt, a bit of oil and a bit of vinegar, and that is it. In winter, side salads are replaced by pickles – Romanians eat a lot of pickles.

    No, this is not an euphemism
    You can see the gogoșar in my Christmas post

    On pickles, Romanians have The Big Four pickles with a bunch of minor additions. The Big Four being cabbage, cucumbers, gogosari (a cultivar of ball pepper) and gogonele (unripe tomatoes). There are two ways of pickling: brine and vinegar. Cabbage and tomatoes are always brined, gogosar is always vinegar, cucumbers can be either the right way (brine) or the wrong way (vinegar). Cucumbers are also the only ones pickled in summer, with a different taste due to much faster pickling at a much higher temperature (often left in direct sunlight as they pickle). Autumn pickles are low temp long time.

    While these are the main pickles, many other things are added, usually in smaller quantities mixed in. For example when pickling gogosari, the core is taken out and the inside filled with, in general, cauliflower, grapes and slices of carrot. Among the green tomatoes we get cauliflower, cabbage, and some green bell pepper, sometimes small unripe watermelons and sometime red beet, mostly to give it colour. Cucumbers (if you ignore some dill which is added) and cabbage are pickled alone. In general horseradish is added to most pickles as a preservative (don’t know if it actually works as one but is used as one nonetheless.)

     

  • Monday Morning Links

    Lots of happenings over the weekend. But I get the feeling I’d be lynched, and not Loretta-style with a sweet meeting in a private jet but the kind involving a rope and a tree, if I didn’t at least bring up sports.  So I will:

    The Buckeyes struggled early put pulled away in a game of runs to beat Illinois. Meanwhile Villanova rolls along. And I know it was Saturday, but its worth noting that Kentucky got rocked my Missouri and the mighty Duke fell to lowly St. Johns in an odd out-of-conference game in February.  I hope it drove Dickie V to tears, the one-eyed fuck. And on the ice, Montreal beat Ottawa, Carolina topped San Jose, and Army beat Washington.

    More. MORE! Your tears are so delicious and sweet.

    And then…there was the reason Philly will probably be burning as you read this.  But as far as this man is concerned, its a small price to pay so the rest of the civilized world can get a tase of those salty, ham lobster tears. I haven’t tasted anything this sweet since walking out of the Superdome a few years ago after Ohio State beat Alabama on their way to a National Championship. But don’t worry, Bradyiots, ESPN made sure the second story in the headlines was you guys being favored to win it all next year.  Also, T-Mobile pandered too much, Jack In The Box (feat. Martha Stewart) nailed it, and Gordon Ramsey is still funny as fuck.

    Whew!  What a game.  Now let’s see if I can find anything else worthwhile to talk about in…the links!

    Um, this is worse than reality!

    Well that’s just, like, your opinion little man. When asked for comment, Lester Holt said he agreed and then got back in the ski lift line at the direction of the 8-year old kid that was manning it.

    Man vs hate birds, the birds that hate: or Man vs government bastards, the bastards that govern.Either way, I like this fellow for his position on taxes but I’m not a big fan for his desire to get the government to solve what could easily be remedied by dumping bags of poison on the lawn or hiring a few gents with shotguns. (And I always thought his wife was hot way back in the day before that crazy German fucker stabbed her in the back.)

    Well, I guess the taxes aren’t high enough in Chicago, otherwise this wouldn’t be happening.  And even though they’re required to go by law, I doubt there will be any legal consequences for these lazy fucks.  Also, note which cases they didn’t go to and take a wild guess as to why.

    In the infamous words of Jack Napier: Never rub another man’s rhubarb.

    This is what happens when the father-daughter dance takes a dark turn.

    Keeping it in the family. This story is weird as shit, but the criminal charges are a bunch of bullshit.  Adultery? Seriously? And correct me if I’m wrong, but someone ceases to be a minor when they turn 18. Get a math textbook, North Carolina.

    Christ, what a couple of assholes. That is all.

    Here’s one for the techies out there. Ands for the IP- and anti IP-warriors out there to fight over.  Hell, it’s actually a pretty interesting case that I wish got more attention.

    The California “bullet” train continues to be an absolute shitshow. And if you’re surprised by that, then you haven’t been paying attention.

    This is for the people in the last link (and OMWC).

    Have a great day, friends.

     

  • ZARDOZ’S SUPER BOWL OPEN POST

    ZARDOZ LOOKED ON STUBHUB AND TICKETS NOW…THEY WILL NOT TAKE GRAIN IN PAYMENT FOR A TICKET.

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. YESTERDAY ZARDOZ BELIEVED HE WAS COMPELLED TO CHEER FOR YOUR BRUTAL TEAM OF CARNIVOROUS RAPTORS. THE TABERNACLE HAS REMINDED ZARDOZ, THAT THE CORRECT RESULT IS ONE THAT LEADS TO THE GREATEST AMOUNT OF CLEANSING.

    IF THE OLD FASHIONED BRUTAL ENFORCERS WIN, WILL THEY USE MUSKETS TO CLEANSE OPPOSING FANS? IF THE CARNIVORIOUS RAPTORS WIN, WILL THE ENSUING RIOTS CLEANSE A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF BRUTALS?

    STATE YOUR CASE, CHOSEN ONES!

    ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • ZARDOZ VS “CARE AND FEEDING”

    WRONG
    CORRECT!

     

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. HAVING CLEANSED “DEAR ABBY” AND “DEAR PRUDENCE” AS WELL AS “DEAR DEIDRE”….ZARDOZ FACES ANOTHER BRUTAL ADVICE COLUMN – “CARE AND FEEDING“. THE RESULTS ARE THE TOTALLY PREDICTABLE VICTORY FOR ZARDOZ. BEHOLD, CHOSEN ONES, THE ADVICE OF ZARDOZ!

    Q: Dear Care and Feeding,
    I am a single mom of a smart, capable 13-year-old. Out of necessity, and knowing he can handle it, I have left him at home alone frequently since he was 10—after school until I get home from work or on weekends while I run errands. Since he started middle school, he has also taken the city bus a few miles to school and walks to and from the bus stop on his own.

    The problem is his best friend’s parents and I have very different philosophies. We only live about five blocks apart and are in a safe, quiet neighborhood, yet they won’t even let their son walk to our house, and they never leave him at home alone. If this friend is at our house, I can’t leave and run errands. If the boys want to go to a movie, I can’t just drop them off and pick them up afterward. If my son is at their house and I ask them to send him home, they will respond, “Oh, well, we can walk him back.” I don’t want them to walk him back! He’s 13, and it’s five blocks!

    They also seem appalled that I let my son take the city bus by himself and have commented about this in a way that makes me feel judged and irresponsible. I have already made comments about my confidence in my son: “He’s always been so level-headed,” “I trust him,” et cetera. But it makes no difference. I know it’s not my place to tell them it’s time to ease up on their kid. But how can I ask them to respect my wishes more firmly yet diplomatically?

    —Parent of a Good Kid

    A: ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, PARENT OF AN ALLEGED “GOOD KID”. YOU HAVE ERRED, IN THAT YOU CREATED NEW LIFE. BUT WE WILL MOVE PAST THAT FOR NOW. FIRST YOU MUST NOT GO TO SECOND LEVEL WITH THE OTHER BRUTAL PARENTS. THEN, YOU MUST INSTRUCT YOUR YOUNG BRUTAL IN THE WAYS OF BRUTAL EXTERMINATION:

    EQUIPMENT AND UNIFORM AVAILABLE AT FINER BRUTAL EXTERMINATOR OUTLETS

    THEN YOUR “GOOD KID” CAN PROVE HIMSELF BY CLEANSING HIS FRIEND’S PARENTS. SHOULD HIS FRIEND OBJECT, WE CAN SEND OVER SOME NEW “PARENTS”

    NEW MOM AND DAD

    ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q: Dear Care and Feeding,
    I am wondering how to kindly deal with well-intentioned racism. I’m of Chinese and European descent, and my husband is West Indian. Our kids all have my husband’s brown skin and curly hair. Weekly since the election, when I am out with them without my husband, strangers corner me to deliver overly effusive compliments about how beautiful they are. This happens nearly weekly since the election. While I find my kids adorable, I think there are racial overtones to these compliments, as the person will sometimes end by telling me I did the right thing by adopting my (biological) child.

    My kids have all been called the N-word by other children, and my oldest has been harassed by adults and told to “go back to Somalia.” Everyone in my family knows how to deal with the straight-up racism, but I don’t want to be rude to people who are well-intentioned and trying to be nice. The person complimenting often touches or pats my kids on the head repeatedly, which they don’t like, as they are not pets. I feel like I’m treading a fine line—between protecting my kids and rebuffing someone who wants us to feel welcomed but is going about it inappropriately. Whenever I say something like “Don’t touch my child,” the person visibly crumbles, and I feel bad.

    —Stop Cornering Us at the Grocery Store

    A: ZARDOZ IS NOT PLEASED. YOU FEEL BAD WHEN SOMEONE “VISIBLY CRUMBLES”? LET ZED DEMONSTRATE THE PROPER RESPONSE TO SOMEONE OFFENDING YOU THUS:

    THE 6 ROUND RESPONSE

    IF YOU FIND THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR YOUR DELICATE, SLATE READING SENSIBILITIES, SIMPLY INFORM ZARDOZ OF WHERE THESE BRUTALS ARE AND HE WILL TAKE CARE OF IT:

    MIGHTY ZARDOZ SAID THEY WERE AT THE WHOLE FOODS ON 6TH AND MAIN!

     

    WHO IS PATTING WHO ON THE HEAD NOW, BRUTAL?

     

    ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN!

  • Super Bowl Sunday Links

    No links about that network spectacular which will suffer from a few interruptions by people actually playing football. Fortunately, a lot of snow here gives us an excuse to stay in and drink rather than go to some bar filled with Philly and New England fans. SP will bar-tend, webdominatrix and I will make food, and we’ll pretend that there’s teams we actually care about playing in the game. The mute button is ready for when the halftime show begins.

    Fuck that, let’ s see what’s happening in the news.

     

    The NFL may have found its next Commissioner.

     

    Well, it was a good try, but someone isn’t going to be head of the Council on Environmental Quality. Clearly, she must have insanely outrageous beliefs.

    Hartnett White has drawn criticism for her comments on climate change. The former Texas regulator has a history of questioning established science that man-made greenhouse gases are a major contributor to climate change. As the Post noted, when Hartnett White testified before the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee, “she said that while humans probably contribute to current warming, ‘the extent to which, I think, is very uncertain.’ “…The next year she wrote that carbon dioxide is “the gas of life on this planet.”

    Despicable! The science is SETTLED! How dare anyone say that there’s a lot of uncertainty and we may not have a solid understanding! CLIMATE DENIER!!! We’re on the brink of agricultural disaster and mass starvation!!!!!

     

    Progressives never tire of telling us about how racist we are, and how we should be more like idyllic Europe. Well, OK then.

     

    The Japanese have long had a reputation of miniaturization. And here’s another example.

    “We very are very simple people, with very small penis. Mr. Ose penis is especially small.”

     

    Nice to know that this sort of thing isn’t just an American phenomenon.

     

    Yes, indeed, it’s that time again. Old Guy Music. This time, a selection from what might be the greatest rock album of all time. Probably wasted on you nekulturny children, but someone has to have patience and teach you what great music is all about. It will eventually sink in.

  • The cake you never knew you needed

    Tonight’s Product You Need comes from Nadia’s Cakes in Maple Grove, Minnesota.

    This gorgeous geode cake is…well…obviously a vagina.

    It really is supposed to be a geode cake, not a vagina.

    Abby, their social media manager, has said: “Guys, have you seen the mad skills of our cake design team? If we made a vagina cake, you wouldn’t be saying ‘OMG, that cake is a vagina.’ You’d be saying ‘That vagina is a CAKE?!’”

    But she has even begun using quote marks when she refers to the “geode cake.”

  • ZARDOZ SATURDAY EVENING LINKS

    GO FORTH AND COMMENT!

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. FRIEND STEVE SMITH IS OFF VISITING HIS COUSIN, SEA SMITH – SO ZARDOZ WILL BE GIVING THE GIFT OF THE LINK. REMEMBER, ZARDOZ HAS RAISED YOU FROM BRUTALITY – SO BRING YOUR COMMENTS “A GAME”.

    1. NO! STOP! THE PENIS IS EVIL! NOW ZARDOZ MUST HOPE THE BRUTAL FOOTBALL TEAM OF CARNIVOROUS RAPTORS WINS YOUR ATHLETIC CONTEST TOMORROW.
    2. THIS IS MORE LIKE IT! ZARDOZ WONDERS WHY ALL BRUTALS CANNOT BE SO TREATED?
    3. ZARDOZ BELIEVES THIS LEAD TO A LARGE AMOUNT OF CLEANSING.
    4. WOULD IT SURPRISE THE CHOSEN ONES THAT ZARDOZ FINDS THIS OF LITTLE CONCERN?

    ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • Wessen Bein Muss Ich Bücken?

    Even though I don’t particularly care for this style, perhaps there should be more to this series than what I like.  So recently, I came across this:

    Hold up, I have a pair of Under Armour leggings I used to wear when I ran outside in Colorado, let me see if they still fit.

    *squeezes into tight pants*

    No. You GTFO.

    Then this happened.

    That’s not a knife, this is a knife!

    Then things predictably got out of hand.

    *orders knife* 

    This is my review of Wessterhuffenphasterphallenhoffeersheissen’s Hefeweissbier.

    HT:  DEG, MikeS, Q Continuum  and Hayeksplovises

    M’am

    Hefeweiss is the predominant German style wheat beer.  There are other varieties of course, depending on the region, but for most of us this is the one that comes to mind when the term, “German wheat beer” comes up in conversation.  People like this, apparently.  I am not one of those people.  Why?

    It tastes like banana.  I don’t like bananas.  The semi-sugary taste, the texture, the fact that none of my kids can open the damn things and will go through a bunch of them in a day.  This sentiment was developed well before the CHM 235 Organic Chemistry course taught by what I later found out to be a really awesome professor.  Think (((special forces))) awesome, but wouldn’t give anyone a definitive answer. For the lab part of this course, my lab partner and I were given several bananas.  The project was to extract and isolate an organic compound called an ester from the fruit.

    Most of it involved smashing up bananas into a paste, then putting the paste into a press.  Then squeezing the liquid out of the paste.  Then vaporizing the liquid multiple times through a distillation column, to extract a weapons grade distillate of Isoamyl Acetate–or Banana Oil in English.  It went fine until my lab partner managed to spill the vial on me.  The grad student in charge of the lab saw the whole thing so I didn’t lose any points for failing a simple distillation.  Not that there was no other way I could prove it was spilled on me.   The bad part was when I went to work immediately after the lab.  At the time I worked the sporting goods counter at the local Wal-Mart.  The clientele was the predictable group of rednecks.

    • “Hey kid, why do you smell like a monkey?”
    • “Mother of Christ.”
    • “Can you write that that mountain lion tag for yesterday?”
    • “I’m not gay or anything, but you smell really nice.”
    • “We fielded a few complaints.  Were going to go ahead and pay your remaining hours for the day. Go home.”

    Predictably, this tastes like every Top.Men-compliant hefeweizen out of Germany:  banana with a twist of lemon.  If you’re into that, have at it. Wessterhuffenphasterphallenhoffeersheissen’s Hefeweissbier 2.0/5

    Not to be outdone, others have tried to take this style to new and interesting places. Only one on this list was available in my area:

    If you are looking for a traditional Top.Men approved ale, keep looking.  It has significantly less body and you’ll probably say they over hopped it and should apologize to the German people for such an atrocity.  For me, it doesn’t taste so much like banana, so it’s not so bad.  Lagunitas Little Sumpin Ale. 2.2/5