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  • Where Are We Going?

    Weep Not

    Weep Not, weep not,

    She is not dead;

    She’s resting in the bosom of Jesus.

    Heart-broken husband – weep no more;

    Grief-stricken son – weep no more;

    Left-lonesome daughter – weep no more;

    She’s only just gone home.

    James Weldon Johnson[i]

     

    This is the third in the three-part sub-series on the Plan of Salvation. The first part is here, and the second part is here.

     

    The Spirit World

    Death, regardless of method, results in the separation of the soul. The body goes into the ground, and the spirit goes into the spirit world to await the resurrection.

    The spirit world is comprised of two major divisions. The righteous – those who have accepted and lived the gospel – go to paradise. Paradise is “a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.”[ii] Those who have not accepted or have not lived the gospel go to spirit prison. This is where those who have actively rejected the gospel pay for their own sins.[iii] This time of suffering is what we call hell.[iv]

    In the spirit world, we will be reunited with our loved ones who have pre-deceased us. Joseph Smith said:

    I have a father, brothers, children, and friends who have gone to a world of spirits. They are only absent for a moment. They are in the spirit, and we shall soon meet again. . . . When we depart [from this life], we shall hail our mothers, fathers, friends, and all whom we love, who have fallen asleep in Jesus. . . . It will be an eternity of felicity. [v]

    What is a Spirit?

    A spirit is a non-corporeal person. Spirits are adults – even the spirits of people who died as children. Our spirits were adult before we were born into mortality, and they still are.[vi] They look like they did in mortality, but they are perfect in form. They take with them all the attitudes and appetites they had in mortality.[vii] According to a revelation received by Joseph Smith, spirits are material – simply a finer grade of matter than we are.[viii]

    Where is the Spirit World?

    According to Brigham Young – the second president of the Church – the spirit world is here, all around us.[ix] We simply cannot perceive them because our eyes aren’t pure enough.[x]

    Missionary Work

    The spirits who have accepted the gospel and received the needed ordinances don’t get to spend all their time lounging around, however. They are actively engaged in teaching the gospel to the spirits in prison[xi]. Once one of the spirits in prison accepts the atonement they are cleansed from their sins, and once their ordinances have been done, they move to paradise. There is, you might imagine, some urgency on both sides of the veil to get this work done. Elder Neal A. Maxwell, an apostle, estimated that there are seventy billion people in the spirit world.[xii] What percentage of those are in spirit prison is unknown, but consider that the majority of humanity has lived in a time when the gospel and its ordinances were not available. Each of those must have the gospel presented to them in the spirit world, and the ordinances performed on their behalf in the mortal world, before their final judgement can occur. During the millennium, the temples will be open 24 hours to catch up on all the ordinance work which will be possible once we can consult the resurrected dead directly about when and where they lived, and how they fit into the overall family tree.

    The Resurrection

    Resurrection is the joining of the spirit with a perfect and immortal body. This will happen to everyone ever born on the earth[xiii] as a result of the Atonement. This is a gift from our Heavenly Parents and Jesus. Jesus was the first person resurrected, and others who had died before him were resurrected at the time of his resurrection. Since Christs’ resurrection, individuals have been resurrected when it was necessary to their mission. As an example, Moroni died sometime after A.D. 420, but he was a resurrected person when he appeared to Joseph Smith in 1822. Additional examples include John the Baptist, (who restored the Aaronic priesthood [xiv]) and the apostles Peter and James (who, along with John the Beloved[xv], restored the Melchizedek priesthood [xvi]).

    The Morning of the First Resurrection

    When Christ returns at the beginning of the millennium, the righteous among the living will be caught up to greet him, and the righteous dead (those who accepted his gospel on earth, or who never had the chance to hear it on earth but accepted it in the spirit world) will be resurrected to descend with him.  Once Christ has descended to the earth, there will be another resurrection of those who were unwilling to accept the gospel in mortality, but accepted it in the spirit world. These two resurrections are what Christ referred to as the resurrection of life.[xvii] It is also referred to as the resurrection of the just.[xviii]

    The Resurrection of Damnation

    Those who reject the gospel in the spirit prison will remain there until the end of the millennium. They will then be resurrected in what Christ called the resurrection of damnation.[xix]

    Judgement Day

    After the millennium, and after all of us are resurrected, comes the final judgement. Each of us will stand before Christ and be judged for our actions in mortality.[xx] We say “stand before” Christ, but I believe it will be more along the lines of a private interview where we will review our life with Him, and we will come to a mutual agreement as to where we should go. Christ will be our judge because he paid the debt for our sins and suffered our afflictions in the Atonement, and is thus best able to give a rendering of our account which is both just and merciful. The final judgement will determine where we go for eternity. Both grace and works will factor into the determination, but the precise mix is unknown. As I mentioned in the religion poll, my understanding of grace is evolving.

    With a very few exceptions, our eternal destination will not be a punishment. It will be a reward for the level of faithfulness we showed in mortality. In the Joseph Smith article, Mojeaux made the following comment in reply to Creosote Achilles:

      Mojeaux on September 17, 2018 at 12:39 pm
    “Not bad, but no where near as good as it could be.”

    But you might not be comfortable in what is as good as it could be.

    This is a crucial point. Because Christ is a merciful judge, we will be sent not to a place which will make us miserable, but rather to where we will happiest. We would not want to be in a place of greater glory than we are able to bear. The prophet Moroni said:

    Behold, I say unto you that ye would be more miserable to dwell with a holy and just God, under a consciousness of your filthiness before him, than ye would to dwell with the damned souls in hell.[xxi]

    Kingdoms of Glory

    In a response to Tundra in the first article, I said (in part) “There isn’t really a burning hell in Mormon theology, simply various degrees of distance from God.” This was the seed which grew into these articles on the Plan of Salvation. The degrees of distance are, with one exception, referred as kingdoms of glory. The kingdoms are named the Celestial Kingdom, the Terrestrial Kingdom, and the Telestial Kingdom, and their glories are compared to the sun, moon, and stars respectively.[xxii]  The final destination is not a kingdom of glory, and is simply referred to as Outer Darkness. What follows are brief descriptions of the kingdoms, and what kind of people will live in them. For full descriptions, see D&C Section 76.

    The Celestial Kingdom[xxiii]

    The glory of the sun. This is the brass ring. This is the kingdom every member aspires to. Those who live in the Celestial Kingdom will dwell in the presence of our Heavenly Parents forever. Christ and the Holy Ghost will also live here This is eternal life.[xxiv] The people who reach this kingdom will be gods.[xxv]To reach this kingdom, one must have accepted Christ and His Atonement, received the necessary ordinances, and lived in accordance with the teachings of the gospel. The exception to this rule is little children. Little children who die before the age of eight are innocent, and will live in the Celestial Kingdom.[xxvi] Also, those who had no opportunity to accept the gospel in this life, but did accept it in the spirit world will live here.

    The Terrestrial Kingdom[xxvii]

    The glory of the moon. Christ and the Holy Ghost visit, but not our Heavenly Parents. This is the kingdom of the less valiant. These are the people who rejected the gospel in mortality, and accepted it the spirit world, or were members of the Church who didn’t live up to the principles of the gospel.

    The Telestial Kingdom[xxviii]

    The glory of the stars. The Holy Ghost visits here, but neither our Parents, nor Christ come. This is the kingdom for the unrepentant who accepted Christ neither in mortality, nor in the spirit world. These are the people who stayed in the spirit prison, paying for their own sins, and only came out in the resurrection of damnation.

    Outer Darkness[xxix]

    This is not a kingdom of glory. No member of the godhead comes here. Those who dwell here are permanently cut off from the presence of our Parents.[xxx] Getting here requires a total rejection of God’s plan after knowing the truth of it. Satan and his angels will be here. The people who go here from mortality are referred to as the Sons of Perdition. These are the damned, and this is as close as our theology gets to the classical burning hell. They have voluntarily put themselves into a state where they are incapable of repentance. Of these, Joseph Smith said:

    He must receive the Holy Ghost, have the heavens opened unto him, and know God, and then sin against Him. After a man has sinned against the Holy Ghost, there is no repentance for him. He has got to say that the sun does not shine while he sees it; he has got to deny Jesus Christ when the heavens have been opened unto him, and to deny the plan of salvation with his eyes open to the truth of it;[xxxi]

    Compared to the kingdoms of glory, not many mortals will wind up here. It requires deliberately rejecting a level of spiritual knowledge most simply cannot attain.

    Final Thoughts

    It should go without saying, but the kingdoms of glory are incomprehensibly better than our lives here. When Joseph Smith was shown the vision recorded in Section 76 of the Doctrine and Covenants, his description of the Telestial kingdom – the lowest kingdom of glory – was “And thus we saw, in the heavenly vision, the glory of the telestial, which surpasses all understanding;”[xxxii] Imagine how much better the others are. Compare the brightness of the stars in the night sky to the brightness of the moon or the sun.

     

    [i] James Weldon Johnson, God’s Trombones Seven Negro Sermons in Verse (New York, Penguin Books, 1927) “Go Down Death” 27

    [ii] Alma 40:12

    [iii] Alma 40:13-14

    [iv] Doctrine and Covenants Student Manual: Section 76

    [v] Joseph Smith, History of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, (Salt Lake City, Deseret Book Company, 1980) 6:316

    [vi] Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine Sermons and Writings of President Joseph F. Smith (Salt Lake City, Deseret Book Company, 1919) 455

    [vii] The Post-Mortal Spirit World

    [viii] D&C 131:7-8

    [ix] Introduction to the Book of Alma

    [x] D&C 131:7-8

    [xi] D&C 138:28-31

    [xii] Neal A. Maxwell All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1979), 99

    [xiii] 1 Corinthians 15:21-22

    [xiv] D&C 13:1

    [xv] John was not a resurrected being, because John has not died. See John 21:22

    [xvi] D&C 27:7-8, 12

    [xvii] John 5:28

    [xviii] Doctrine and Covenants Student Manual: Section 76

    [xix] Ibid,  John 5:29

    [xx] Mormon 3:20

    [xxi] Mormon 9:4

    [xxii] Bible Dictionary: Degrees of Glory

    [xxiii] D&C 76:50-70

    [xxiv] John 17:3

    [xxv] D&C 76:58

    [xxvi] D&C 137:10

    [xxvii] D&C 76:71-80

    [xxviii] D&C 76:81-113

    [xxix] D&C 76:28-49

    [xxx] D&C 76:37

    [xxxi] Doctrine and Covenants Student Manual: Section 76

    [xxxii] D&C 76:89

  • Monday Morning Links

    Monday Morning Links

    Good morning fellow Glibs, hope you have your coffee or stimulant of choice as we dive into a new week.

     

    If your birthday is today, you share it with General George McClellan, reality TV star Ozzy Osbourne, actress Julianne Moore, everyone’s favorite vegetable Terri Schiavo, and  actress Amanda Seyfried.

     

    Paris continues to burn due to a massive tax revolt, didn’t think you frogs had it in you, vive la France!

     

    Investigation starts of unexpected suicide of Vice Admiral Scott Stearney.

     

    Senior ISIS leader killed in drone strike in Syria.

     

     

    Why do I have a feeling it’s all finally coming to an end?

     

     

     

    Probably because all of this shit is going on.

     

     

     

    And this shit too.

     

     

    Crazy eyes hellbent on destroying Democrats 2020 chances.

     

     

    That’s all I got for today, my head is spinning from all the news, hope your stimulates are stronger than mine. This might help.

  • ZARDOZ SUNDAY EVENING LINKS

    MAGIC 8 BALL SAYS “CLEANSING IMMINENT”

     

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. TIME TO WRAP UP THE WEEKEND – AND GET BACK TO SNARKING AT THE BRUTALS WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH. ZARDOZ WILL ASSIST, BY PROVIDING THE GIFT OF THE LINK. GO FORTH AND SNARK!

    • A GOOD START, PARIS – BUT THE NUMBERS CLEANSED REMAINS TOO LOW. WORK ON IT.
    • SOMETIMES ZARDOZ IS NOT HAPPY WHEN A PARTICULAR BRUTAL SHUFFLES OFF THEIR MORTAL COIL. THIS IS THE CASE HERE.
    • THE CONTINUED DEVOLUTION OF THE BRUTAL REALM OF THE UNITED KINGDOM PLEASES ZARDOZ.

    ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • Enslaving Yeast – Wine

    Enslaving Yeast – Wine

    wine kit

    Time to move up the level of difficulty to making something that has a couple more steps… wine.  While you can harvest your own grapes, and crush them yourself, in the modern day it’s usually easier to buy a wine kit.  You can find kits for making 1 gallon batches or 6 gallon batches.  These kits will come with everything you need to make a batch of wine (including a dry yeast packet).  The kits will come with a plastic bladder full of grape juice concentrate, which you’ll put into a bucket (or carboy), and mix with warm water to get up to your total volume.  Then you stir, and stir some more, and keep stirring to make sure that everything is mixed well. Your kit may come with some packets of items to be added in at this time (wood chips are common), follow your kit instructions here.  At this point, you can take a sample and measure your gravity (if you want to know the starting gravity), check the temperature (to make sure the yeast won’t die), and pitch the yeast.

    After a couple of weeks, the primary fermentation is done.  At this point we want to minimize contact with oxygen, so we’ll move it from the bucket into a 6 gallon carboy.  Use a sanitized siphon to move it over, and add any additions that your wine kit say to add. Then put on an airlock, and let it sit for another couple of weeks.  Once fermentation is done (check this with your hydrometer), the final gravity will generally be below 1.000.

    Now, fermentation should be complete, but we’re not done yet.  Next we need to clarify it and degas it. Yeast breaks down sugar into alcohol and CO2, depending on the ambient temperature, some amount of that CO2 will have been absorbed by your wine.  Most styles of wine do not have carbonation, so we need to do something to get that gas out. You can either take up more stirring (over 5 minutes, go ahead, count it out) or you can use a degassing wand.  These labor saving tools go into your drill, and make degassing much easier.  For clarifying, your kit will most likely have a couple of packets that need to be added in a certain order.  Follow the instructions (or if you’re really patient, you can wait and the wine will eventually drop clear) with your kit (side note for those who are vegetarian, keep in mind the clarifying agent is where you may find animal products).

    Back to waiting for a couple of weeks (or as your kit says) for the clarifying agents to work their magic.  Now, you just need to carefully siphon of the wine into bottles (without stirring up that layer of sediment at the bottom), and cork or cap them.  If you corked them, stand them up for 3-4 days for the corks to seal, then you can store them on their side. At this point, you’re done and will have around 30 bottles of wine (assuming a 6 gallon batch and standard 750 mL bottles).

    Sorry for the lack of recipes this time around.  The only non-kit wine I’ve made is beyond the level that I’ve gotten to in these tales.  But if you want to follow it, you can find it here.

  • IFLA:  The Horoscope for the Week of December 2

    IFLA: The Horoscope for the Week of December 2

    My Thanksgiving visit to Texas went exactly as the stars said it would:  Venus in Libra ensured happiness and tranquility with my family and friends, and MERCURY RETROGRADE forewarned me that the flights would be a shitshow of cancellations, reschedulings, and lost luggage.  Also, I don’t know what the astrological sign of tacos is, but there’s a taqueria right off of 290 in Giddings that is just the platonic ideal of what a taco shop should be.

    Speaking of MERCURY RETROGRADE,  it’s quite busy being a bastard this week.  First of all, it’s hanging out in Scorpio indicating sexual dysfunction.  Second of all, it’s part of an alignment with Venus also indicating problems with your love life.  However, that alignment intersects with another one through the sun of Sol-Jupiter-Terra.  Now this leg is a good sign, indicating that things are going really well in one’s home life.  So maybe… you get hammered and approached by a hottie, but you will be too drunk to fuck and this saves your marriage?  Your pool boy suffers a groin injury and suddenly your partner pays more attention to you?  Honestly, I’m having trouble with some of these interpretations.  MERCURY RETROGRADE is causing all sorts of inexplicable self-contradictory problems at work and the insomnia been acting up as a result.  Since the sun is the intersection of these two alignments, the end result should generally be good.  So under the horses-not-zebras principle, this pair of alignments probably means that there will be an incident of coitus interruptus, but one which will result in a good story that winds up making you closer to the party with whom you were interruptus-ed.

     

  • First Sunday Morning Links of December

    First Sunday Morning Links of December

    And trust me, it’s miserable outside here. Hail, ice, rain, and snow. No sign of the Friendly Angel. But a lovely day indoors ahead, drinking and watching football (real football, with the grownups playing) with SP. And of course, I now have yet another reason to root for my beloved Ravens.

    Today is the birthday of Georges “Dotty” Seurat, Alexander “I’m in Charge” Haig, Edwin “Authoritarian Piece of Shit” Meese, Harry “The Pirate” Reid, and Aaron “The Family Guy” Rodgers.


    Well, this looks like Chapter 1 of a political thriller more than an actual news story.

    The top admiral overseeing US Naval forces in the Middle East, Vice Adm. Scott Stearney, was found dead in his residence in Bahrain on Saturday, the Navy said in a statement. While his death is being investigated, officials say there is no evidence of foul play at this time.

    Have fun speculating about what’s going to be in Chapter 2. Underage boys? Passing intelligence to the Saudis? Affair with a Mossad agent? Autoerotic asphyxiation? Read through 103 parts of Hat and Hair and lost the will to live?


    If I were to rate Trump’s best accomplishment so far, it would be getting Gorsuch on the Supreme Court. He’s looked pretty good so far. But I’d also rate Trump’s absolute worst idea as using tariffs as a way to whip up his base and get trade concessions in lieu of pushing for actual free trade, unencumbered by sweetheart deals. That’s been backfiring spectacularly (don’t even ask how badly that’s hurt the business I work for), since it’s based on the curious idea that you can pressure socialist countries by forcing them to raise taxes on their citizens. Well, we may be seeing a face-saving retreat happening.

    “President Trump has agreed that on January 1, 2019, he will leave the tariffs on $200 billion worth of product at the 10 percent rate, and not raise it to 25 percent at this time,” the statement read. Over the next 90 days, American and Chinese officials will continue to negotiate lingering disagreements on technology transfer, intellectual property and agriculture.

    And here’s a lovely gem of stupid symbolic harrumphing:

    [Chinese president] Xi also plans to designate Fentanyl as a controlled substance, according to the statement. As the U.S. opioid crisis continues to rage, it would suggest that people selling the drug to parties in the U.S. would be subject to stiff penalties in China.

    Crisis! Raging! Jesus fucking christ.


    If it seems to you that food poisoning outbreaks are getting as common as Chicago shootings, you’re not imagining it. Or more accurately, you’re not imagining that it’s in the news more.

    Year to date, there have been 22 outbreaks investigated by the Center for Disease Control, including the dangerous E. coli outbreak currently linked to romaine lettuce. It’s the highest number of total investigations compared to the past 12 years—but the U.S. Food and Drug Administration Commissioner Scott Gottlieb says that’s not necessarily because more food has suddenly become “unsafe.”

    “I think what’s happening is that we have better technology than ever before to link outbreaks of human illness to a common pathogen,” Gottlieb told CNN.

    Alternate explanation: Chipotle has many more locations now.


    This ongoing story leaves me conflicted.

    One woman, who went to graduate school with [Neil deGrasse] Tyson, alleged in a 2014 blog post that he had drugged and raped her. After writer David McAfee published an interview with the woman, Tchiya Amet, two other women went public with sexual misconduct allegations. One accuser, physics professor Katelyn Allers, said Tyson groped her at a 2009 party. Tyson’s ex-assistant, Ashley Watson, said she had to quit her job because of his unwanted sexual advances, McAfee reported.

    On the one hand, the whole #metoo thing has accelerated the enstupidation of our society. On the other hand, Tyson is an arrogant and sanctimonious shithead of incredibly meager scientific accomplishment who has somehow been lionized by the Left as a great thinker, and there’s an inevitable Schadenfreude factor. Gripping hand, I have to stick with my principles, dammit, despite my personal desire to see the shithead suffer. And that’s driven by seeing several physicists of real merit having had their careers destroyed by this mindless juggernaut.


    The French continue to be enraged by their discovery that free shit somehow has to get paid for.

    The centre of Paris was on lockdown tonight after masked protesters stole an assault rifle from police, clashed with riot squads and set fire to cars and Christmas trees on the Champs-Elysees in furious demonstrations against the French government. Protesters said today’s actions were ‘the start of a revolution’ that would eclipse the mass strikes and occupation of universities and factories in 1968 when the country was on the cusp of civil war.

    Fires and clouds of tear gas covered the French capital from early morning until late in the evening, in some of the worst violence ever seen in the French capital as more than 5,000 demonstrators brought chaos to Paris for the second week running.

    I have a hypothesis. Note the running theme in the photos in this news story. Yeah, sure, most of the rioters have something in common ethnically, and I’m sure that Europeans will gleefully point this out, but that’s not really it. When all is said and done, I think we’re going to find out that the French auto companies are actually behind this- massive car burnings mean more sales. Brilliant!


    Old Guy Music! And I know that nothing will annoy the masses more than the Grateful Dead. So of course that’s what I’m listening to. And here’s a really nice live version of what I think is their best straight-ahead rock song ever, and one I’ve covered in a couple of bands. It’s just plain fun to play, and it’s fun to listen to. So spark one up and be groovy.

  • Coming Attractions & Saturday Night Open Post

    The weather here sucks, I’m sleep deprived, and grumpy. You’ve been warned. I better just stick to the business at hand.

    Next week right here at Glib Central, we’ve got Links served up by OMWC, Sloopy, Brett L and perhaps others of varying human form and non human form. You’ll get a poll that might actually be more useful than usual. You’re not getting a Vegan School, but you are getting a food post from CPRM in that time slot.

    Not Adahn will warn you apprise you of that which is going on with the stars, and Nephilium continues his series on Enslaving Yeast. Gadianton is back with part 3 of his sub-series on the Plan of Salvation. Tuesday, Suthenboy muses and Swiss updates. Later in the week, trshmnstr tries something new, banginglc1 tells us what else the government screws up (this could be a neverending series!), and Animal brings us a history lesson. I suspect mexican sharpshooter will be along on Saturday with a review/not a review.

    And perhaps, if everyone says nice things to SugarFree in the comments, we’ll get a story on Wednesday!

    As always, we are actively seeking articles from the community. Join your fellow Glibs on the Contributing Writers page.

     
     
    Please indulge a short personal off topic comment. It’s the gifting time of year for many folks. I’ve spoken before about my love of microfinance platform Kiva.org. One of my favorite gifts to give (and receive) is a Kiva Card. (How many reindeer sweaters does anyone really need?) Your recipient gets the joy of choosing an entrepreneur to whom to make a loan, and the loan recipient gets a shot at realizing a goal. After the loan is repaid, your Kiva Card recipient can then re-loan that $25 again and again impacting many people around the world.

    I love that it’s not a donation, it’s a loan that can really change the world one person at a time. Under my Super Secret Real Life Identity, I’ve made nearly 100 loans since joining way back when Kiva was brand spanking new.

    We’ve set up a Glibertarians Kiva Lending Team. We’d love to have you join and invest in a person of your choosing. Joining a Lending Team isn’t necessary, but it’s fun to see the extra impact a group of people can have. There is a link to acquire and send a Gift Card right at the top of the Lending Team page.

    (If you already lend on Kiva, here’s a tip to mask your Glibness: set up a new Kiva account and fund it with gift cards from your Real Life account.)

     
     
    We now return you to your regularly scheduled Saturday Night Open Post! Have a great rest of your weekend!

  • Waiting is the hardest part

    Waiting is the hardest part

     

    There are many roads to success in brewing.  I try to avoid telling people how they should brew.  So, I talk about how I brew, and let others decide whether or not my methods have any value to them.

    Generally speaking, the universal recipe for making alcohol is 1) dissolve sugar in water; 2) add yeast; 3) wait for the yeast to work; and then 4) wait some more for the resulting product to be palatable.  That’s it.  We’re done here.

    Well, I suppose there are a few more things to chat about.  Firstly, there are many ways to make or acquire sugar-water.  You can dilute honey with water.  You can extract juice from fruit.  You can mash malted grain in hot water.  You can combine all of those options.  Secondly, you can select from different kinds of yeast to improve your odds of getting a pleasant flavor in the final product depending upon what your source of sugar was.  Thirdly, you can add all sorts of other ingredients to alter the flavor of the product at various stages in the production of that product.  These include flowers, spices, herbs, and charred/toasted wood.  And we’re not going to talk about any of those things today (Nephilium is taking the lead on those topics).

    Today, we are going to focus on step 3) waiting and step 4) waiting – otherwise known as fermentation and aging.  Given the products I make, steps 3 and 4 are pretty much the same regardless of which primary fermentable sugar I am working with whether it be honey for making mead, fruit juice for making cider or wine, or malt for making sour ales.  This is because I ferment everything at pretty much the same temperature and age everything for pretty much the same amount of time (at this point I only make sour ales which can benefit from months even years of aging, so no young hoppy beers from me).  This means that I have lots of product sitting around in secondaries for long periods of time – typically 12 months (and sometimes up to 36 months) before I package it up.  This takes space – lots of it.  And it requires good climate control.

    My brewing room is roughly 15 feet by 15 feet in size.  Three of the walls are part of the poured concrete foundation for the house.  The last wall is a standard stud wall that I built to isolate the brewing room from the rest of the basement.  There is no ductwork bringing heating or cooling into the room.  Other than the open doorway, there is no significant flow of air in to out of the room.  So, the temperature in the room is extremely stable and there is basically no temperature change over any given 24-hour period (this is probably true for any given week).

    The temperature in the room is effectively controlled by the temperature of the soil outside the foundation walls.  The soil temperature lags the seasons by about 3 months.  So, the coldest temperature in the brewing room is typically late March or early April when the temperature drops to about 62° F (although it got down to 58° F after one particularly brutal winter).  Conversely, the warmest temperatures occur in late September or early October when the room reaches about 68° F.

    That means I do all fermentation and aging between 62° and 68° degrees.  I focus on cool, slow fermentation, and I think this works great for the things that I make – mead, cider, wine, and sour ales.  However; this is not ideal for other types of products such as lagers that need to be fermented cooler or saisons that need to be fermented warmer.  But I rarely drink those products, and I never make them.  When I do want one, there are many fine drinking establishments in the area that can provide one at a reasonable price.

    But a room with temperature control isn’t enough. We need structures – tables, counters, shelves – to store primaries and secondaries that are in use, primaries and secondaries that are not in use, tools, ingredients, and other assorted sundries.  My room has built-in shelving around the entire room.  Every linear foot of wall (excluding the door) has shelves.

     

    The middle shelf is a bit higher that a standard kitchen counter.  This is where the most of primaries and secondaries are stored during fermentation and aging.  Occasionally, I work with primaries that are too big for the shelves (note the 44-gallon Rubbermaid Brute that I am starting a batch of pyment in – to be discussed in a future post.).  The middle shelf is wide enough to hold a 9-gallon demijon (not shown in the picture).  The corners can hold a 14-gallon demijon.

    The bottom shelf is somewhat narrower than the middle shelf.  This keeps me from banging my shins when I am lifting primaries and secondaries from the floor and then placing them onto the middle shelf or moving them from one place to another.  I generally keep heavy stuff on the bottom shelf, like the cases of honey in lower left of this picture (six 5-lb jars per case).  There is an upper shelf which is the same width as the middle shelf.  I keep empty carboys and other not-so-heavy items up there.

     

     

    I long ago lost track of how may primaries and secondaries I have.  I sold off a dozen 6-gallon carboys to my brewing friends several years ago.  I have since acquired both bigger and smaller containers to fill that hole in my heart.

    To the best of my recollection, I have a dozen ½-gallon jugs; two dozen 1-gallon jugs; half a dozen 1.3-gallon demijons; half a dozen 2.6-gallon demijons; half a dozen 3-gallon carboys; a dozen 5-gallon carboys; a dozen 6-gallon carboys; a dozen 6.5-gallon carboys; three or four 9-gallon demijons; and three or four 14-gallon demijons.

    I generally use plastic for primaries.  I have converted 2.5-gallon and 6.5-gallon screw-top pails into primaries.  Basically, you drill a ½ hole in the screw-top and install a replacement rubber grommet into the hole.  This allows the use of a standard airlock.  I have half a dozen of each of these sizes.  I have about half a dozen standard 7.9-gallon wine pails from the home brew shop.  And I use a lot of Rubbermaid Brute garbage cans.  They are food grade plastic and come in a variety of colors.  I use white so they are easier to see if they are clean.  As far as Brutes go, I have 10-gallon, 20-gallon, 32-gallon, and 44-gallon pails.

    I generally use the small containers (plastic primaries and glass secondaries) for experimental batches.  I have done yeast trials and oak trials over the years to see how these affect the product.  I also do sets of small batches to make samples for teaching classes. I use the mid-size containers for most of my brewing (5 to 6.5 gallons of finished product).  I use the large containers for bulk production – usually wine – when I am working with fresh seasonal fruit – mostly local grapes.

    I also use the large Brutes for blending products such as ciders made from 3 to 5 different varieties of apples.  The apples get harvested at different times in the season (anywhere from early August to late October), so the initial fermentation is done for each variety separately.  Later in the winter, multiple batches of single-variety cider will get blended in a large Brute and then pumped into mid-sized or large-sized glass secondaries (carboys or demijons) for additional aging before packaging.

    In the beginning, when I started making mead, I was paranoid about using air-tight primaries and airlocks.  All the homebrew books and brew shops tell you that you need them.  Then I started making wine with some friends.  When you make red wine, you open the primary two or three times every day to punch down the cap (to be covered in detail in future posts, but you are pushing the grapes skins down into the wine below).  You learn pretty quickly that as long as the fermentation is going strong, all you need is a loose cover to keep the bugs and dirt out.  I have been to pro wineries where wine was fermenting in steel tanks with a blue plastic tarp pulled over the top.

    I continue to use air-tight primaries and airlocks when I am working with small to mid-sized batches.  This allows me to lift and move the primaries without worrying about spilling.  But when I work on large batches with lots of whole fruit, I use the Brutes with loose fitting lids.  The key point is to rack into an airtight secondary when you’ve extracted what you want from the whole fruit and fermentation is slowing down.  Note, that I recently acquired the 1.3-gallon and 2.6-gallon demijons (listed above) which have very wide openings so that I could do small experimental batches with whole fruit.  This allows me to open the demijon and punch down the fruit during the initial fermentation and to reach in and clean the demijon after the product is racked to a secondary.

    One of the tricky issues is deciding when fermentation is done.  It seems like an easy thing to check.  The airlock stops bubbling or the hydrometer reading stays the same for a while.   But rubber bungs and airlocks don’t always maintain a perfect seal.  So very slow fermentation may not move the bubbles in the airlock.  And the specific gravity of the product may change by less then your ability to detect it on a standard hydrometer.  So, I have discovered an alternate way to tell.

     

    It’s not Done

     

    It’s Still not Done.

     

    It’s Finally Done.

     

    The key is to watch the very top of the product in a clear carboy or jug.  Even when it is fermenting very slowly (too slow to notice activity in the airlock), you can still see tiny little bubbles running up the outside of the carboy or jug and joining a ring of bubbles at the top.  When there is a continuous ring of bubbles, the product is still fermenting quite a bit.  When there are only a handful of bubbles, the product is nearly done.  When there no bubbles, there is no fermentation going on in the product.

    If you are making a carbonated beverage and are going to bottle condition or keg, a ring of bubbles on the top of the product is not a problem.  In fact, it indicates you have healthy, active yeast to support bottle conditioning.  But if you are going bottle still products in a standard bottle with a cork, you need to wait till it is finally done.  If you are going to continue aging the product in a carboy or jug, you can replace the bung and airlock with an airtight screw cap or rubber carboy cap as appropriate for the type of container.

    I try to rack my products a few times as possible.  My general schedule is to leave the product in the primary fermenter for 2 to 4 weeks, depending up what it is and how strongly it is fermenting.  After primary fermentation is complete, I will the rack into a secondary and leave the product alone for 2 to 4 months.  It is during this time frame that I will do malo-lactic fermentation if the product requires it (typically for ciders or wine).  This is also the time when I will use oak cubes if it is part of the plan for that product.  After this, I will rack it into another secondary (or tertiary, since it the third container).  Here it will sit for half a year or several years depending up what product it is.  Note that there is no fermentation going at this stage.  So, there is no dead yeast piling up on the bottom.  Therefore, autolysis is not an issue, and I don’t worry about the product sitting on whatever sediment builds up during this phase of aging.

    When aging is done, it is time to package the product.  If you want a carbonated beverage, you can bottle condition (fermentation in a sealed bottle) or force carbonate in a keg.  If you bottle condition, the product must be put into a bottle that is intended to handle the pressure – beer bottles or champagne bottles.  Standard wine bottles can explode if fermentation occurs in the bottle.  If you want a still product, it can be put into pretty much any kind of bottle and sealed with a cork, a cap, or a swing top.  Specific information on different ways of packaging products will be provided in subsequent articles on cider, wine, mead, and beer.

  • R C Dean Gets BIFfed

    R C Dean Gets BIFfed

    Lackadaisical (PBUH) sent me a nice selection of upstate NY beers.

    For some reason, the arrival of the BIF box got me thinking about something that has struck me as an odd inversion.  It used to be that beer was the cheap/economical way to get your booze on (and it still can be, if you stick with mass market beers), but given the price for craft beers (which is still a little shocking to someone who started drinking beer back when the only thing on the shelf was cheap crap), I have been laboring under the perception that they are actually as or more expensive than cocktails.

    However, I was moved to do the math.  A six-pack of good craft beer costs me between $10 – 12.00, call it $1.75 a bottle.  A bottle of beer has between .75 and 1.0 oz. of alcohol, so to be we’ll say craft beer delivers alcohol at @ $2.00 per ounce.  Your typical fifth of booze is 80 proof, and so it has 10.25 oz. of alcohol.  Now, there is crazy variability in booze prices, so we’ll take Bulleit Rye as our standard, which costs me $21.00 for a fifth, or . . . $2.05 per oz. of alcohol (before mixers).

    Bottom line:  there’s so much variability in price per oz. for both beer and booze that its hard to give a general rule, but the craft beer market (although it seems pricey to this old-timer) actually is pretty much equivalent per oz. to cocktails, maybe a little cheaper.  I would say craft beer and cocktails both deliver the goods within about the same (broad) range.

    I’m not the most critical beer drinker, and tend in general to enjoy pretty much whatever is in front of me at the time.  With that in mind, my impressions:

    Rohrbach Scotch Ale:  Either this one or the Asylum Porter were my favorites.  This is an excellent example of Scotch Ale, one of my preferred types of beer.  Decently full bodied, nice caramel malt flavor with some roast, and the hops were behaving themselves and being good team players.

    42 North Asylum Porter:  Very interesting beer, probably more depth and more flavors around the edges than the Scotch Ale.  I got a little bitter chocolate and maybe coffer, and just enough smoke, but not so much that it was getting into the stout range.  The kind of beer that you keep working because you want to chase some of the flavors.

    Rohrbach Patty’s Irish Ale:  A good Irish Ale – very comparable to their Scotch Ale, not quite as much body, and a hair less roasted flavors, a little drier on the finish.  No complaints, would drink again.

    Genesee Octoberfest:  Genesee in general takes me back to my college days, and this is a competent, if not too exciting, beer.  Adequately malty, if not quite as much body as I might like.  Decent flavor.  I would say this is an excellent beer to take to a tailgating party to class it up a little, and not go broke when your friends (and their friends) go through your cooler like a Mongol horde.

    Big Ditch Hayburner:  An IPA, but not hop soup.  I can tolerate a legit IPA, so long as the brewer hasn’t decided that  adding hops is somehow going to compensate for certain . . . personal shortcomings.  This is a good example of the breed – decent body, hops definitely there but a little more on the floral side (which I prefer) rather than tastebud-killing bitterness.

    Big Ditch Low Bridge:  Interesting beer – a golden ale (whatever that is).  Kinda-to-pretty hoppy; in a blind test I would have likely said this was a pale ale of some kind, but maybe a little maltier than I expect from a pale ale.  It went right down, I’ll tell you that.  A good beer for moderately spicy food.  May get the nod over the Genesee for a good session beer, depending on how you like the hopping.

    Not a dud in the bunch.  I would not be sorry to discover any of these in my fridge.  Thanks, Lack (and Nephilium)!   Will BIF again.

  • Fall BIF Review 2018: Lacky Reviews RobC

    Fall BIF Review 2018: Lacky Reviews RobC

    I get to review the offerings from RobC, whose avatar is a beer, so you know it is going to be good. Lots of stuff from Cincy and Kentucky, that I’ve never tried so this should be fun.

    Good Guy RobC
    The Culprit

    Rhinegeist: Puma Pilsner (40 IBU, 5.2% ABV, Cincinnati, OH)
    An… interesting can, this pils reminded me more of an IPA than not. Floral notes and a bit too much ‘striking noble hops’ left me a bit bitter at only 40 IBUs. 1.9/5

    West Sixth Brewing: Pay it forward Cocoa Porter (?? IBU, 6.0% ABV, Kentucky)
    This was a lot tastier. The chocolate was very noticeable, but in a good way. Nothing truly special about this beer, but I would drink this all the time if it was available around here. 3.8/5

    Falls City Brewing: Streetlamp Porter (??IBU, 5.4%ABV, Louisville, Kentucky)
    Rather tingly mouthfeel for a porter, and decent head when first poured (how’s that for a euphemism?) Very rich flavors, must be the molasses. Could be great if it had a more heavy mouthfeel (I like the feeling that I’m eating bread), though this is easy drinking for a porter, especially at this ABV. 4.2/5

    Country Boy Brewing: Cougar Bait American Blonde Ale (?? IBU, 4.9% ABV, Georgetown Kentucky)
    Wasn’t very impressed with this offering, I think it may just be a limitation of the style, it isn’t offensive at all, but just doesn’t do it for me. 2.5/5

    Against the Grain: 35K Stout (?? IBU, 7.0% ABV, Louisville Kentucky)
    Weirdest can art ever. Delicious, I got a little buzzed on this one, I don’t have a great recollection of the exact qualities that made it enjoyable, it just was. 4.5/5

    Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale (?? IBU, 8.19% ABV, Lexington Kentucky)
    First impression: ‘I knew I shouldn’t have opened this one up. I’m sure it is expensive and probably tastes great to someone who loves bourbon. I hated it. I had that little shutter when you take your first shot of the night, barrel aged ales just don’t do it for me, unless the liquor taste is very subdued. This isn’t.’
    Somehow by the time I took the second sip I found it was quite tolerable, and ended up enjoying it. I still suspect it was wasted on me. 3.0/5

    RobC also sent a couple glasses and a hat! Sadly, one glass didn’t make it, but the important stuff (the beer) made it here just fine. Thanks to Rob for giving me a chance to try all sorts of beer from his region.