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  • Constitutions, guns and limited government: a constant uphill battle

    As I may have mentioned before, I hail from the far away land of Romania, a country with a history of communism which basically wrecked the country and without a particularly strong tradition of limited government, where most peasants were still serfs almost up to the 19th century. I was asked before on various positions on limited government Romanians hold, and thought I’d write a quick post on it, mainly an anecdote, really.

    Romanian built, number 1 best quality, good price
    Too scary for locals, but we export them

    Are notions of limited government increasing? Not really. You would think after a history of bad government and massive abuses of power, many would think to give the other side a shot. But sadly, this does not happen. We just need the right top men, you see. One problem is that people want things and rarely thing of the implications, the ramifications, and both the expected and unexpected consequences. They have the view of government which does everything they want and nothing they do not. And I am talking here about the upper echelon in terms of intelligence, education, and professional success. As such, I have little hope of clear improvements in the future.

    As an anecdote, I will talk of someone I know who is, let’s say, someone I had high hopes of when I thought of a move towards freedom in Romania. He grew up in communism, finished Polytechnic university in Bucharest, got his PhD in France, and was a very successful semiconductor engineer. Of course, for most of his life, he was the kind that didn’t pay much interest to things outside his field, and only recently did he read some books on economics and political philosophy. But this makes him more knowledgeable than most in my company who did not read anything on these topics, although they have really strong opinions on politics and economics. He is what, for Europe, would be vaguely classical liberal / libertarian on economic issues, although quite vaguely. When he reads a libertarian book, he often agrees with what it says, but he simply cannot get past his many years of thinking that government must do way too many things in society. So this generally causes a few days of thinking a bit differently, followed by a comeback to the old ways.  So he would not be a reliable voter for strictly limited government, and if he is not, I have little hope for most other Romanians.

    As a Romanian, he hates guns. He thinks they are dangerous and wants them banned. The government’s job is to disarm the population, he states. In this he is joined by his brother, also an engineer by trade in semiconductors, who immigrated to the States and now lives in a leafy and quite lefty suburb of Boston. His brother also hates guns and republicans in general, and thinks America is too right wing.

    But, to be fair, the guns are scary amendment is desperately needed in the US. though
    We need ourselves a better version of one of these things in Romania

    The man I speak of trusts his brother’s judgment, and I had several debates with him on US politics which ended because his brother is his ultimate argument and tells me he is more informed than me because of what the brother tells him. I, frankly, find this rather annoying because his knowledge of US culture, economy and its politics is probably 10% of mine. And his brother’s does not seem much better, as he forwarded to me some emails that could have been taken directly out of the New York Times. I remember speaking about certificate of need legislation in US and he outright said that is not true, such things do not exist; it is not possible in a capitalist country like America for the government to prevent a hospital from expanding, let’s say. He did not really care to read about it because he had his sources. This is his answer.  It is obviously impossible to argue with someone whose main argument is “my brother told me this so it must be true.” I have asked countless times for data for his claims, but he literally said, “I do not have data but it is true. I have my sources,” – his main source being his brother. This is quite dispiriting. Someone who is more politically knowledgeable than most people I know, one of the few to have actually read some economics. If he can’t argue properly and form a more informed opinion, who can? Most Romanians still tell me that the US is the land of no government and unrestrained free market capitalism, and they believe that. Especially when it comes to the completely private and completely unregulated healthcare systems you Americans seem to have.

    Recently I hear the complaint – coming from the brother originally, of course – that the problem with US in that the constitution is too difficult to change as to disarm the population. A smart, accomplished engineer with some knowledge of economics does not give a jot of thought to the ramifications of what he claims if it will lead to his preferred outcome. He would be so willing to see all guns banned for civilians, that he would tear the constitution apart for this. Of course, he does not claim that. He says only the second amendment, not others. But if you give the power to easily change the second, how would you prevent that power being used to change the others? How can you create a system where just one article of the constitution is easily changed? The ridiculous view of government doing everything I like and nothing I don’t.

    What is the point of the constitution is it is easily changed? Majorities are fickle. One may have the 51% now, the others the next time. Laws change with majorities. The whole point of the constitution is that it is not as easily changed and it needs broad consensus. And if you look at US history, many bad things came exactly when the constitution was not respected. How can we get a more libertarian view in Romania when people lose their reason when it comes to topics they feel strongly about? How can we argue when people say, ‘I don’t have any data but my brother told me”? I do not know, but I do not have my hopes up, lest I be too often disappointed.

  • Wednesday Morning Links

    Well, today’s the last day to take a deep breath and get ready for the Sweet 16 games. And I don’t care if you use a rosary, some beads, put on a yarmulke or lay face-down on a rug, I need your prayers. So take a moment right now, assume your position or don your prayerwear or do whatever you need and let’s all say in unison: “Dear _______ (God, Allah, Yahweh, Buddha, Odin, FSM, some 32-armed dude with a elephant head), please share your grace with the world. Please, ________, deliver us from the scourge that is the Blue Devils. Place your loving hand on the bald dome of Jimmy Boeheim, whom you’ve already blessed with a wife that’s too hot for him by a mile, and give him the strength to overcome Coach K’s incessant playing of the officials and getting calls nobody else gets. And though he asks for forgiveness for being a dirty punk, please hold off on granting it to Grayson Allen lest he decide to trip again.  In your name. Amen.”

    I sure hope that works. I’m not sure the world can suffer another Duke win. ::Sigh::

    Bunches of games on the ice last night. The results were: Islanders over the Penguins, Blue Jackets over Rangers. Oilers topped the Hurricanes, the Capitals beat the Stars, the Panthers topped the Senators, the Red Wings were better than the Flyers, The Lightning outlasted the Maple Leafs, the Jets beat the Kangz, Army/Vegas took down the Canucks, the Sharks blasted the Debbils, and the Blackhawks reached a new low in getting thumped by the Avalanche. Sorry, Swissy.

    I got nothing else in sports. There are some slow weeks, and it’ll get worse before it gets better next week as we are still short of the playoffs and baseball will still not have started and the CBB final four starts too late in the week to really talk about much.  I’ll figure something out.  But until then, let’s focus on…the links!

    It looks like the Austin bomber has killed himself as the cops closed in. Dude must have wanted to get caught. There’s no other explanation for his change in M.O. and going to a Fedex store to drop his packages off. Well, good riddance, asshole. Which means its time for the other assholes out there to ascribe motive, collectivize guilt and start sticking their hands out for donations/government handouts to various grievance groups. I hope I am able to tune that part of the circus out.

    NOAA temp data now available in the fiction section of your research library

    NOAA! NOAA! You got some splainin to do. LOL, JK. They won’t have to explain shit. Their cultists will still believe whatever they say, regardless of the fact that virtually all of their science is based on made-up bullshit. You know, at least those of us who believe in God are honest enough to call our beliefs a religion that’s faith-based.  These assholes try to pass their faith off as science.

    Damn, dude. Next time take a friend or two. Seriously, that’s one tough son of a bitch. But still…get some friends and take them with you next time.

    “I’m gonna vote for Kennedy…then kill Bart Simpson.”

    Pritzker defeated Kennedy (yes, another one. They’re like mushrooms.) in the Illinois Democrat primary for the governor’s race. And it has caused an amazing level of butthurt by Kennedy supporters sycophants.  Seriously, Pritzker is an odious creature that probably conspired with Blago to sell the Obama seat. But that’s part and parcel of Chicagoland politics.  Perhaps Kennedy needs to take a page out of the family playbook and go on a drug-fueled bender or two, perhaps with a serious accident thrown in the mix, and then run for office as a story of redemption and overcoming adversity. Seems to work for his generation of that corrupt family.

    I can’t think of a better way for the government to collect delinquent taxes than to shut the business down that owes them ahead of what could be an exceptionally busy (and revenue-generating) time. Bravo, IRS…you dumbshits.

    Rumors abound as to where the Trump-Kim summit will be held. Will they pick a neutral country? the DMZ? One of the nations’ capitals? A warship? Nobody knows. (::Whispers to self: Please be Russia. Please be Russia. Please be Russia.::)

    For our under-appreciated Canadian friends. Pour nos amis canadiens sous-estimés.

    Have a wonderful middle of the week!

  • ¡Martes por la noche Enlaces Mexicanos!

    Buenos Tardes Glibs! Once again, I take you for a brief foray in to the events of the day as seen by people that choose not to learn English

     

    Today is happiest of days, as female rhinoceros have achieved victory over the patriarchy.

    El último rinoceronte blanco del norte macho ha muerto, dejando solo dos hembras para salvar a la subespecie de la extinción.

    El rinoceronte de 45 años llamado Sudán había tenido problemas de salud en los últimos días y estaba siendo tratado por problemas relacionados con la edad y múltiples infecciones.

    Un equipo veterinario tomó la decisión de practicar la eutanasia en Sudán luego de que su condición se deterioró significativamente, anunció el martes el grupo de conservación WildAid.

    __________

    The last white rhinoceros of the male north has died, leaving only two females to save the subspecies from extinction.

    The 45-year-old rhinoceros named Sudan had had health problems in recent days and was being treated for problems related to age and multiple infections.

    A veterinary team made the decision to practice euthanasia in Sudan after their condition deteriorated significantly, WildAid conservation group announced on Tuesday.”

    ¡SÍ! ¡Mira qué rápido salí de allí!

    People that choose to live in a remote area, cut off by torrential rainfall want more free stuff delivered by helicopter.

    En el video, que fue grabado por el propio cacique, se puede ver cómo un helicóptero del equipo de asistencia humanitaria deja su carga en un punto establecido y rápidamente levanta vuelo, segundos antes de que una decena de pobladores se abalancen sobre los productos indiscriminadamente. “Estamos aislados, necesitamos algo más de harina, arroz, fideos, azúcar, colchones y frazadas”, agregó.

     

    Al ser consultado sobre este episodio el miércoles en Perspectivas desde Buenos Aires, el gobernador de Salta, Juan Manuel Urtubey, dijo que “es indignante y nada justifica eso” y agregó que “siempre debe haber un responsable del área social”. También hizo hincapié en que “es una zona del chaco donde está concentrada la mayor pobreza

    __________

    In the video, which was recorded by the cacique himself, one can see how a helicopter of the humanitarian assistance team leaves its cargo at a fixed point and quickly takes off, seconds before a dozen inhabitants swoop on the products indiscriminately. “We are isolated, we need more flour, rice, noodles, sugar, mattresses and blankets,” he added.

    When asked about this episode on Wednesday in Perspectives from Buenos Aires, the governor of Salta, Juan Manuel Urtubey, said that “it is outrageous and nothing justifies that” and added that “there should always be a person in charge of the social area.” He also stressed that “it is a zone of the Chaco where the greatest poverty is concentrated”.

    Supreme Court to decide if it is constitutional to detain people that violated the law did nothing wrong, ever will likely vote Team Blue, should be released on bail in the event their sentence for other crimes is served, rather than being held for a pending deportation trial.

    La Corte Suprema de Justicia anunció este lunes que decidirá si la ley federal de inmigración (INA) le otorga al gobierno el poder para detener de manera indefinida a quienes esté considerando deportar si la persona cometió anteriormente ciertos delitos graves.

    La INA señala que, si los extranjeros no ciudadanos cometen un delito que los convierta en inadmisibles y/o deportables, el gobierno debería mantenerlos bajo custodia para su posible expulsión al salir de prisión una vez cumplida la condena.

    La Corte de Apelaciones del 9º Circuito dictó en mayo el año pasado que los no ciudadanos que no hayan sido detenidos de inmediato por la Oficina de Inmigración y Aduanas (ICE), se les debe dar la oportunidad de quedar libres bajo fianza.[…]

    “Por lo general”, explicó, “cuando un no ciudadano cometió un delito grave y cumple su condena, ICE pide mantenerlos detenidos ( detainer) para iniciar un proceso de deportación. Si por algún motivo se cuela esta persona y el gobierno se da cuenta que no pudo transferirlo bajo su custodia, va a su casa y lo arresta para iniciarle un juicio de deportación”.

    __________

    The Supreme Court of Justice announced Monday that it will decide whether the federal immigration law (INA) gives the government the power to indefinitely detain those it is considering deporting if the person previously committed certain serious crimes.

    The INA states that, if non-citizen aliens commit an offense that makes them inadmissible and / or deportable, the government should keep them in custody for possible expulsion upon leaving prison once the sentence has been served.

    The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled in May last year that noncitizens who have not been immediately detained by the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) should be given the opportunity to be released on bail.[…]

    “Generally,” he explained, “when a non-citizen committed a serious crime and serves his sentence, ICE asks to keep them detained (detainer) to begin a deportation process. If for some reason this person strained and the government realizes that he could not transfer him into his custody, he goes to his house and arrests him to initiate a deportation trial. “

    The dreamers will never give up hope. No sir, no how. It’s not like the Most Evil Presidentè in the History of Presidentès has recently put forth deals to legalize DACA recipients only to be turned down by Democrats. WILL.NOT.GIVE.UP.HOPE.

    Los dreamers no pierden la esperanza. Aseguran que seguirán luchando hasta conseguir que el Congreso apruebe una ley que les otorgue un camino a la residencia legal permanente y luego a la ciudadanía. Pero hasta ahora todos los esfuerzos han fracasado por falta de voluntad política en el Congreso y la Casa Blanca.

    “Es difícil de creerle al presidente y a los políticos”, dijo este viernes Juan Manuel Guzmán, director de asuntos gubernamentales de United We Dream (UWD), la principal organización de dreamers en Estados Unidos. “Siguen los rumores de que habrá un proyecto, un voto en el pleno de ambas cámaras, pero la verdad es que no se puede creer en nadie”.

    “Es difícil de creer que algo pueda suceder, especialmente con el presidente que tenemos”, subraya el activista. Los dreamers no pierden la esperanza. Aseguran que seguirán luchando hasta conseguir que el Congreso apruebe una ley que les otorgue un camino a la residencia legal permanente y luego a la ciudadanía. Pero hasta ahora todos los esfuerzos han fracasado por falta de voluntad política en el Congreso y la Casa Blanca.

    “Es difícil de creerle al presidente y a los políticos”, dijo este viernes Juan Manuel Guzmán, director de asuntos gubernamentales de United We Dream (UWD), la principal organización de dreamers en Estados Unidos. “Siguen los rumores de que habrá un proyecto, un voto en el pleno de ambas cámaras, pero la verdad es que no se puede creer en nadie”.

    “Es difícil de creer que algo pueda suceder, especialmente con el presidente que tenemos”, subraya el activista.

    __________

    The dreamers do not lose hope. They assure that they will continue fighting until getting Congress to approve a law that grants them a path to permanent legal residence and then to citizenship. But so far all efforts have failed because of lack of political will in Congress and the White House.

    “It’s hard to believe the president and the politicians,” Juan Manuel Guzman, director of government affairs at United We Dream (UWD), the leading dreamers organization in the United States, said Friday. “There are still rumors that there will be a project, a vote in the plenary session of both houses, but the truth is that you can not believe in anyone.”

    “It is difficult to believe that something can happen, especially with the president we have,” the activist emphasizes.

     

    Translation services provided by the Alpha Beta Corporation who ask if you’re going to have an evening, why not make it a good one? If you’re going to have people collecting data on your personal life, why not us?

  • STEVE SMITH RETURNS….TO GIVE ADVICE

    STEVE SMITH RETURNS….TO GIVE ADVICE

    STEVE SMITH BEEN CATCHING UP ON READING

     

    STEVE SMITH BACK. HIM BEEN READING AND CATCHING UP WITH CHORES. BY CATCHING UP WITH CHORES, MEAN RAPE. WAS NOT IN MOOD TO DO LINKS, BUT SAW “DEAR PRUDENCE” SAY SILLY THINGS. SO STEVE SMITH GET OUT OF DOLDRUMS AND COME GIVE ADVICE TO FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE. HERE IS ADVICE:

    Q. No strings:I am a struggling college student up to my ears in loans and am estranged from my family. (I am gay and an atheist; they are deeply Catholic.) I have roomed with “Natalie” since freshman year. Natalie has many mental issues. She is school-brilliant, but socially not so much. I spent a lot of my first two years with her, pulling her out of the dorm and into socializing. She has a private therapist and is doing much better, but she still relies on me for a lot. She will not go out if I am not there, and has refused invitations to events if I am not invited. I was thinking of dropping out of school to work when Natalie’s parents approached me. They told me I was the best thing to happen to their daughter, and they were willing to fund my education if I stayed and “continued to be her friend.” They also don’t want Natalie to know.

    I am very, very tempted to take the money. Natalie comes from serious, old-world money—like yearly vacations to the family home in the Alps kind of money. I also know it will kill Natalie to think her parents bought a friend for her. What should I do?

    A. STEVE SMITH IN MOOD TO DO ANALYSIS OF SILLINESS. YOU LETTER PERFECT MATERIAL! STEVE SMITH CHUCKLE AT SLATE-WORTHY QUALIFIER (I GAY ATHEIST, FAMILY CATHOLIC). WHEN FINISH CHUCKLING, LOOK AT PROBLEM. YOU HELP ROOMIE WITH SOCIAL LIFE, GET PILE OF DOLLARS. WHAT IS PROBLEM? WHAT IF SAY NO? YOU BROKE, ROOMIE GO BACK BE HERMIT. IF ROOMIE FIND OUT, HIT ON HEAD WITH BIG ROCK. IT WHAT STEVE SMITH DO.

    YOU GET CONCUSSION AND FORGET!

     

    Q. Friend hacked into my Facebook:My ex-friend is an alcoholic and I believe she has borderline personality disorder. She went to jail a year ago for arson and resisting arrest, and has since had police at her house twice. After her time in jail, I picked her up and let her stay with me. I tried to be a supportive friend for eleven months, and she just continued to be a manipulative bully. I stopped speaking to her, so she hacked into my Facebook and read all my personal messages.

    I will never speak to her again, but I am so angry I am having trouble getting over it. Any suggestions?

    A. STEVE SMITH NOT NORMALLY SUSPICIOUS TYPE. BUT HIM WONDER ABOUT THIS. “HACKED INTO MY _________” MOST COMMON THING STEVE SMITH HEAR FOR EXCUSE FROM CELEBRITIES AND POLITICIANS. CARLOS DANGER RING BELL? BUT STEVE SMITH GO AHEAD AND TREAT AS REAL.

    FIRST THING YOU DO, IS HIT EX-FRIEND ON HEAD WITH BIG ROCK. SEND BILL FOR 11 MONTH RENT TO HOSPITAL ROOM EX-FRIEND GO TO. THEN DELETE FACEBOOK – IT NO GOOD ANYWAY.

    HACK THIS, INGRATE!

    THIS HELP VENT ANGER AND STOP MORE PROBLEMS.  GIVE STEVE SMITH ADDRESS OF EX-FRIEND. HIM GO ADMONISH EX-FRIEND. BY ADMONISH, MEAN RAPE. THEN STEVE SMITH GIVE LECTURE ON GRATITUDE. BY LECTURE ON GRATITUDE, MEAN YELL AT.

     

    STEVE SMITH HOPE ADVICE HELP.

  • Tuesday Morning Links

    I just want to start off by saying that I enjoy deep dish. Hell, I will go out of my way to find it today (Geno’s) and have some.  But I ain’t calling it pizza because its not.  Just as Dr Pepper isn’t a cola and Bruce Jenner isn’t a woman. Sorry, some things are truths.

    Hey look! There’s still sports going on even after the armageddon-like weekend of college basketball.  Of course, if you wanted me to give recaps on the Women’s NCAA Tournament, you’re about to be disappointed. But if you were hoping for a down-the-stretch hockey update, then you’re in luck! There were five games on the slate last night. The Blue Jackets topped the Bruins in OT. The Predators blanked the Sabres. The Kings topped the MINNESOOOOOODA WIIIIIIIIILD!!!! in OT as well. The Panthers dumped Les Canadiens. And the Flames were doused by the woeful Coyotes.

    So let’s take a look at the standings, shall we? In the Wales Conference, Tampa Bay has locked up a playoff spot and has a 3 pt lead over Boston but has played an extra game.  They’re trailed by the Maple Leafs. The Washington Capitals lead their division, with the Pens and Flyers close on their heels. Not that it’ll matter come playoff time when they lose to a lower seed. And the Wild Card race is pretty hot even though it only contains three teams. Currently, the Blue Jackets and Devils hold the two spots with the Panthers 3 its back of the Devils but with two extra games to play. Everybody else is pretty much playing out the string and the Red Wings, losers of 10 in a row, will soon join the Sabres as mathematically unable to make the playoffs.

    Over in the Campbell Conference, The Predators, Jets and MINNESOOOOOOODA WIIIIIIILD are cruising in in their division, while the Army/Las Vegas Black/Golden Knights, Sharks and Kings are currently in.  The two wild card spots, held by the Avalanche (who have a game in hand) and the Anaheim Mighty Ducks are sitting on the same point total as LA, with Dallas and St Louis nipping at their heels.  Should be a hell of a fun 2 weeks and change. The Canucks and Coyotes are already eliminated and should soon be joined by the Oilers and the Blackha….wtf? Yes, by the Blackhawks. Sorry, Swissy.

    There’s probably something I missed in there, so I expect to be corrected in the comments. Or at least challenged. But that’s cool.  And anyway, its time for me to stop worrying about sports and start thinking about what I’m gonna put in…the links!

    Harvey Weinstein and friend

    Sometimes people get what they deserve. Can’t say this makes me sad. The culture there was akin to a beehive, where everyone was expected to serve the queen (in this case, the king), even sacrificing their personal beliefs or morals in order to advance their career. OK, so not exactly like a beehive except for the everyone serving part. But seriously, they know they were doing little more than satisfying the sexual idiosyncrasies of a perverted dickhead and they knew they were often sacrificing the physical safety of innocent women in order to do so, and in return they were financially rewarded.  They all deserve to never get a job in Hollywood again, unless its selling maps to the houses of the people they served up to their disgusting pig of a boss.

    SXSW bomb threat cancels concert amid series of bombings. Meanwhile, a bomb went off in San Antonio’s FedEx center, and FBI officials say it may be linked to the events in Austin. Meanwhile, with little known about the bombings or bomber, President Trump pledges support for the people working on the case and for the victims (and is promptly called a racist by “leaders” in the black and latino communities). Meanwhile, the NAACP and CBC, also armed with little to no information, called on officials to classify it terrorism and to make sure they find out the motivation of the bomber since its allegedly targeting black and latino communities (except the FedEx location, obviously).

    Look out Northern California. here comes some more global warming for ya! This is gonna end up being one hell of a winter for precipitation. And you can thank the good people over at Global Warming, Inc for it…but only if it causes some destruction. And when it doesn’t rain for two months straight, as its prone to do there since the dawn of time, you can also blame global warming for the “drought”. But only if it has a negative effect on crops. If it raises yields, it’ll just be due to sheer luck that the global warming didn’t cause the levels of precipitation to be even higher…or lower…depending on what’s needed to extract more money from taxpayers and transfer it to politically-connected shitheads. And not to be outdone, Old Man Winter is prepared to pay the Chowderheads a visit.

    The most corrupt pol in Chicago, yet above the law?

    Wow, what an interesting coincidence. There’s a laundry list of coincidences that seem to follow Brown around. Yet she’s slicker than a greased pig when it comes to her being prosecuted.  Ooh, I know! Let’s have a special prosecutor charge her with “Conspiracy Against The United States” with nothing else attached to it. That ought to work.

    Crazy man does crazy thing and dies. Dude had quite the arrest record. Perhaps he should have received a mental evaluation at some point in his recent past rather than a dragnet which spooked him into jumping in a freezing river while butt nekkid.

    SEA SMITH SAY GOODBYE TO FRIEND ONE LAST TIME. COMMIT HER TO BOWELS OF THE DEEP BLUE SEA.

    Don’t even ask how I picked this song. Its a mystery to me too. But now I want to go see what Winona Ryder is up to.

    Well that about does it for the links.  Hope y’all have a nice day.

  • World War G – continued

    WORLD WAR G…RESUME!

     

    Truce time is done… resume combat in this open thread.  Time to go find some pizza. Which type, we will not say.

  • Monday Afternoon Truce Links

    Only a neutral can do the links today!

     

    As the resident embodiment of Neutrality, I am calling for a truce this afternoon, in World War G. We have already had the ultimate threat issued by SP…

     

    The Site

     

    So we had best smarten up for a bit. The best way to do that is Links. Links of Neutrality. And I am just the one to deliver them!

    • Testing…Testing…1,2,3. Well, not anymore. At least for now.
    • Next time anyone tells you we need to be more like Europe. Have them read this, and then say – “ready to go to prison for saying bad things about Donny from Queens?”
    • Nobody expects the brutal inquisition! But we can all agree this is an awful story.
    • Paging SugarFree, SugarFree to the author courtesy phone. Hat and Hair material abounds.

     

    So, it is either back to the war…or

    Yeah.
  • An Artisanal Hawai’ian Style Deep Dish Pizza

     

    Pizza is widely understood to have originated on the Italian peninsula over 1000 years ago according to Wikipedia. A lot time elapsed until the 1940s when American GIs went to Europe during World War II and brought back home with them a taste for pizza. In more modern times, pizza has exploded onto the world food scene, both as a go-to fast snack to be enjoyed when time is of the essence, as well as having gained acceptance as highly regarded haute cuisine.

    In the last 70 years or so, considerable innovation has occurred in pizza technology. This article will focus specifically on a treasured pizza style: deep dish pizza of the Hawai’ian type. Deep dish pizza is made by means of baking pizza in a deep pan, and is thought to have originated in Chicago around the middle of the 20th century. The famous Pizzeria Uno claims to have produced the first. Deep dish pizza consists of an inverted topping layer scheme: cheese, then protein and vegetable ingredients, then the tomato sauce, and finally a dusting of some sort of a pulverized cheese product. In this article, we will take it to the next level by laying out the optimal process for you to create a perfect artisanal, Hawai’ian-style, deep dish pizza.

    The crust

    It is important that, in order to make the highest quality, artisanal pizza, one must start with the finest ingredients. The pizza dough is no exception. If you do not feel up to the task of making your own high quality pizza dough, you can just skip this section and buy an acceptable pre-made dough. I would recommend the pre-made dough sold by Whole Foods Market, or alternatively, any dough sold by your local trattoria – just ensure that you confirm they use non-GMO flour.

    •Approximately 2 US cups (450 ml) of Vermont’s finest King Arthur low gluten, unbleached white flour
    •Approximately 1 cup (225 ml) of distilled water, Ty Nant mineral water, or other reputable water brand
    •1 heaping tablespoon (15 ml) of Bob’s Red Mill, gluten free, active dry yeast
    •1 heaping tablespoon (15 ml) of Wholesome Sweetener’s Malawian Fair Trade Natural cane sugar
    •Approximately 1 teaspoon (5 ml) of pink Himalayan salt, Fair Trade and Conflict-Free preferable
    •1 bottle of high quality imported extra virgin olive oil (EVOO) – I prefer Fair Trade EVOO from Tunisia, and always avoid oils that include trans-fats

    Warm the water, because it will speed the activation of your yeast, and you will therefore not have to wait days or even weeks for the dough to rise. To warm the water, I would recommend using an electric kettle because electricity is clean power, but make sure you stop warming the water once it gets to a temperature of about 120F/50C. You need to do this to ensure that the yeast is not killed due to excessive temperature, as yeast is a living microorganism. Mix the warm water, the yeast, and sugar in a large mixing bowl until the sugar is completely dissolved. Let the yeast activate for about 10 minutes so as to reduce its toxin content. You will know that it’s time to move on to the next step if the liquid mixture develops a frothy head about fingernail-deep. Add to the liquid mixture a couple glugs of the olive oil, and the salt. Next, gradually stir in the flour until the mixture begins to form a viscous paste and gradually transforms into a ball of dough. Continue to add small amounts of flour and work the mixture with your hands, being careful not to add too much flour. Cease the addition of flour once the dough becomes only a little bit tacky. Knead the dough for about 10 minutes. I like to throw that shit down into the bottom of the bowl and spank the dough. If the dough starts to stick to your fingers whilst kneading, simply dust your hands with a bit of flour, and continue. The purpose of all of this kneading is to begin to further break down the gluten – don’t worry – this process will also continue during fermentation as your dough is made to sit and rise. When the kneading has gone on long enough that the dough isn’t that tacky, form the dough into a ball, and cover with a thin layer of EVOO. Let the dough sit at room temperature covered with a towel. I suggest that you allow it to double in volume, about 1 hour at room temperature, punch it down/kneed a bit more, and let rise again for another hour as it ferments. As the dough sits for an extended period of time, the yeast digests, releasing gas by-products within the dough, resulting in a crust that is fluffy and not so dense.

    Preheat your oven to 425F (or gas setting 7).

    Take your baking pan – in this case I have chosen a Williams-Sonoma lodge cast iron skillet for a more rustic taste – and coat the baking pan with a liberal application of EVOO. If you are on a tighter budget, simply stop off at a Dollar General store (mind the smell – have a handkerchief on hand) and buy a steel baking pan for single use and ask your handyman to recycle it for you after you’re done. The quantity of oil used here is important. It will ensure that the crust becomes crispy, and at the same time, quite buttery and similar in consistency to First Nations Aboriginal People’s fry bread of the American Four Corners region. By using this amount of olive oil, it is ensured that the crust will effectively be fried during the baking process.

    Extract the wad of dough from the bowl, deposit into the middle of the baking pan, and work the dough outward so that it forms raised edges thusly:

    Bake the crust alone for about 15 minutes, when it has begun to develop its first signs of golden brown as illustrated below, not unlike the look of pre-burnt, naan. As the crust is still partially raw at this stage, it is therefore pliable and ready to accept the toppings.

    The toppings

    Now, as this is the recipe for Hawai’ian style deep dish pizza, it must include the two staple ingredients: cured pork product (typically Canadian bacon) and pineapple. As everybody knows that the Polynesian races prefer to pair pork with tropical fruits for all of their meals, it is but a natural and a culturally sensitive choice that this pizza – Canada’s finest gift to the world – includes these toppings.

    For the bottom layer, I have elected to use slices of Mozzarella di Bufala, derived from grass-fed, hand-drawn, free range milk. Press the cheese slices into the crust so that a deeper cavitation is created in the partially inflated crust – more room for toppings!

    For the pineapple, I was able to obtain a rare pre-war, aged tin of pineapple chunks off from an Etsy seller, for its novelty factor. But it is equally acceptable (and even exciting) to use fresh cut pineapple slices. Just make sure that your pineapple is from non-GMO trees. Ensure that you drain off and sufficiently dry out the pineapple using unbleached, single source, fair trade, high thread count Egyptian cotton cheesecloth. I reserved the juice from my aged pineapple chunks for later use in a drink with cachaça, Angostura bitters and macerated mint leaves.

    In terms of cured pork, here is the selection of toppings that I have chosen for this recipe:

    •Enough slices of jamón ibérico to cover the bottom of a 14 inch diameter (about 3.5 decimeters) deep metal pan – I obtained slices at the cost of US$80/lb (don’t balk, the quantity you need is small, so this won’t break the bank!) Because this meat product originates from Europe, it is by definition 100% natural and organic.

    •Applewood smoked bacon – cooked until strips are crispy and wick away excess pork fat with 100% post-consumer recycled paper towels. Discard the rendered fat. Do not undercook the bacon until merely chewy, as the British race is wont to prefer. The applewood smoke is a conscious choice, as apple has a natural synergy with pork. My local butcher sells me gluten-free cuts from free range, locally sourced animals.

    •Free range ham steak – only choose locally sourced ham steak from swine that are massaged twice daily. Cut away the bone and trim away the fat, as you do not want the fat to render on your pizza and make it too greasy. Just throw the trimmings into your compost bin or allow your Salvadorian housekeeper to take them home in lieu of a good performance bonus. Note that I have deviated from the conventional rectangular slices of Canadian bacon, and opted instead to cut the ham steak on the bias to produce attractive parallelogram and diamond shapes which also enhance the flavour and mouth feel.

    Proceed to layer the toppings.

    We’re almost at the end! For my sauce, I slow cooked sun-ripened, non-GMO, organic San Marzano tomatoes along with pulverised fresh garlic clove and fresh chopped basil from my window sill terrarium, a pea-sized amount of anchovy paste to enhance umami, freshly ground Indonesian Fair Trade black pepper from Aceh, a splash of Amarone for sweetness and body, love, and just a kiss of organic smoked Oaxacan red chili flakes. Ensure that you produce a thick sauce and boil off much of the water, otherwise the end result will be ham, pineapple, and tomato soup in a bread bowl! Deposit the tomato sauce to cover all of the other toppings.

    Lastly, before baking, you will want to use Parmagiano-Reggiano from Parma to liberally dust over the top of the pizza, along with a handsome amount of all natural Bottarga of your choice for additional umami.

    Place the pizza into the oven to bake for another 35-40 minutes, or as needed to yield a beautiful golden brown deep dish crust.

    Buon appetito!

  • Monday Morning Links

    This was me Thursday at 11 am:

    This is the year my bracket comes through!

    Full of hopes, dreams…and 64 teams. This was the year I’d win it all and let everybody know I could pick with the best of them.

    This was me at 10 pm last night:

    Dreams: shattered

    This is one fucked up tournament. From UVA getting boat-raced by (basketball nobody) UMBC. To North Carolina following that up with a soul-robbing beatdown at the hands of aTm. Cincy, Xavier, Michigan State, Ohio State, and then Michigan winning at the buzzer.  I can’t fucking take this kind of abuse.  Its not fair.  Its like God is trying to punish us.  Well thanks a lot, Big Guy. It’s working. I’m a broken bracketer. My March Madness has turned into March Madness. I may not watch any more of this three-ring circus. I don’t know if my constitution is up to it.

    You want to know what really churns my stomach?  The leader of the Glibs March Madness Pick Em Extravaganza is…Banjos.  That’s right. My wife, who watches jack shit for basketball all year except for the odd Buckeyes game I’m watching while she sits and twits with the twitterers, is winning the damn thing. But I don’t see it holding up.  Her total of 45 points (with Tennessee cutting down the nets) is one ahead of a solid group, T&T’s boring bracket is in second (with UVA winning it all). Gbob sits tied for third (with the Buckeyes as champs) and is tied with Pie (who is an asshole because he has Duke winning it all). In fact, the bracket with the greatest max possible is MikeS, way down tied for 7th. I’m gonna be watching him even though his possible champ (Texas Tech) has no chance. Except of course, that they have a great chance.

    Look, I’m actually having a good time with this year’s insanity.  Its just…if Duke win it all, I will smash the fuck out of something very valuable.  I can’t stand the thought of that rat-faced creep and/or that cheap-shot artist he has in the low post winning anything. That would truly make for an awful Easter weekend, only surpassed by the death of Jesus Christ himself. But at least with that, we get the rising from the dead part. If Duke wins, we get just the misery.

    Ugh, I can’t bear to think of it anymore. I’m gonna quickly point out that Liverpool bounced back pretty well by thrashing Bournemouth over the weekend.  Now they need to get ready for Man City in the UCL quarterfinals. The rest of the EPL squads that were in it can sit home and watch what the big boys can do on the biggest stage.

    OK, no more sports. The rage is subsiding and the bile is creeping back down my throat as the thoughts of Duke hoisting the trophy go away. Let’s talk about something else.  I know…the links!

    Another bombing in Austin set off by tripwire, injuring two. Police appeal to bomber to stop (sensible). Also order residents to stay inside until 10 am (what the fuck for?) I do recall this being blamed on racism by HuffPo early last week and I haven’t followed it since. Can somebody please explain to me what’s going on or if the bomber’s motivations have been made clear?

    Judge Dredd ain’t got shit on this guy

    The National Review can be douchey. But occasionally they publish a (pretty long but quite readable) piece that is pure brilliance and sums up the state of affairs wonderfully. Seriously, if anybody thinks that what Mueller is doing is a good thing, they need to read this and shut their pie hole for the duration of this witch hunt.

    Texan Good Samaritan with knife meets California crook with shotgun. Guess how this one ends up?

    Two trains derail and collide in Kentucky. Four people are injured.

    Betty Boyner had just laid down when she heard what she thought was something exploding. “We thought, what the hell was that? Was it a train? Was it a trailer? We didn’t see any smoke,” she said. She then got a call from her son in Missouri asking if they were being evacuated. He’d apparently gotten a text from a friend who saw the accident on Facebook, she said. She grabbed her purse and a pillow and headed over to the elementary school. “I’m supposed to be up at 6 a.m. in the morning to go to work,” she said. “That ain’t happening.”

    Here comes the mocking condescension from coastal elitists about the grammar of these hill people (although Lex is hardly hill people country). Then they’ll trot off to work (after a buttered roll!)  and call the guy who bumps into them on the subway, during their 90 minute commute from their 600SF apt to their job in a 6×6 cubicle, a “fucking cocksucker”.

    Cocaine’s a hell of a drug

    OK, this is seriously the funniest news story you’ll read today. LOL, how did this not happen in Florida?

    I was gonna find one more thing, but I have to end ::takes off glasses:: on a high note.

    This goes out to all of those whose bracket is busted.

    Have a great day, friends!

  • Swiss Servator’s Sunday Night Catch-Up Links

    I delayed having raclette, to bring you links!

    So, SEA SMITH went AWOL on link duty…Well, I am back from my mini-vacation to bring some ORDER to the Links. We will have links, with actual links in them. And they will work:

    • I take grave personal offense at the choice of store this group of banditti attacked! But the mood was lightened by reading “Detectives from the Flying Squad and police in Westminster continue to investigate.” As a Monty Python fan, all I could think of was Inspector Thompson’s Gazelle of the Programme Planning Police, Light Entertainment Division, Special Flying Squad.
    • Attention, Rick and Morty fans. If you are in the LA area in October…check this out.
    • Florida Woman… Cop. Well, not a cop now.
    • Standing athwart energy exports and progress and shouting “¡No!”

    OK, now all is right with the Glibs.