Glibertarians.com 2018 Archive

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  • ZARDOZ PONDERS SOME QUESTIONS

    THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE?

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. AFTER THE TERRIBLE EVENTS OF THE PAST FEW WEEKS, ZARDOZ HAS BEEN IN A CONTEMPLATIVE STATE. WHEN THE CHOSEN ONE KNOWN AS “TARRAN” SENT IN SOME QUESTIONS THE NOTED BRUTAL PROFESSOR JORDAN PETERSON HAD RECEIVED, ZARDOZ FELT COMPELLED TO ANSWER SOME. FRIEND STEVE SMITH WILL ANSWER OTHERS LATER ON.

    ZARDOZ WILL START WITH AN EASY ONE…

    Q: I married young and have had only 1 sexual partner. Now I desire variety, but value my marriage and will not cheat. Any insight on overcoming this conflict?

    A: QUESTIONING BRUTAL, REMEMBER, THE PENIS IS EVIL! THE PENIS SHOOTS SEEDS, AND MAKES NEW LIFE TO POISON THE EARTH WITH A PLAGUE OF MEN, AS ONCE IT WAS. TO OVERCOME THIS CONFLICT, REMEMBER THAT THE GUN SHOOTS DEATH AND PURIFIES THE EARTH OF THE FILTH OF BRUTALS. GO FORTH AND REMAIN MONOGAMOUS, OH, AND KILL, WHILE YOU ARE AT IT. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    NEXT, ZARDOZ WILL ADDRESS MORE SPECIFIC INQUIRIES.

     

    Q: Any update on your plans to start providing independent classes or an online university?

    A: SHOULD ANY BRUTAL WISH TO LIFT THEMSELVES OUT OF BRUTALITY (AND RECEIVE THE GIFT OF THE GUN UPON GRADUATION!) ZARDOZ WOULD SUGGEST TAKING DISTANCE LEARNING CLASSES (IT IS NOT LIKE YOU ARE GOING TO GET INSIDE THE VORTEX) FROM THE TABERNACLE. HOLOGRAPHIC INSTRUCTORS WILL TEACH YOU FROM A STOREHOUSE OF ALL HUMAN KNOWLEDGE. AND, SINCE THE ETERNALS LIVE FOREVER, YOU CAN TAKE AS LONG AS YOU WOULD LIKE TO FINISH YOUR COURSES. CHECK WWW.UNIVERSITYOFVORTEX.EDU. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

    UNIVERSITY OF VORTEX

     

    Q: I am a sober alcoholic/drug addict. How can I find my way back to belief in a higher power after 10 years in the empty void of atheism. I’m falling apart.

    A: YOU HAVE BEEN RAISED UP FROM BRUTALITY, TO KILL THE BRUTALS WHO MULTIPLY, AND ARE LEGION. TO THIS END, ZARDOZ YOUR GOD GAVE YOU THE GIFT OF THE GUN. THE GUN IS GOOD! IF ZARDOZ IS NOT A HIGHER POWER ENOUGH FOR YOU; FIRST – RETURN THE GIFT OF THE GUN, SECOND – SEEK OUT A LOCAL HOUSE OF WORSHIP AND ASK TO SPEAK TO THE CLERGY ON STAFF.

    NO, I WILL READ “DIANETICS”!

     

    ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • Links, Afternoon. 1 serving.

    Enjoy a happy hour beer, citizen!

     

    Good news, citizens!  the Links ration has been increased from 4 to 3! Now you will enjoy a bounty of links, three of them to be exact. It the commenting goes really well, and the quota is overfilled, there may be a sharing out of a taste of Victory Gin!

    Celebrate the taste of INGSOC!

     

    Your links ration:

    1. Remember, Big Brother is watching.
    2. Rebellion will be punished.
    3. We have always been in favor of the spending bill.

     

    …read the Links.

  • Glibfit Fade Week: Challenge 1, Week 7 – You thought we forgot? Think again!

    If you’re still doing well on your glibfit task, you’re doing better than me! By now, it’s not a challenge, it’s a lifestyle for you. Congratulations! On the other hand, if you’ve been on and off about it, you may find it’s still a struggle for you. Either way, 3 weeks left, so push it hard and kick some ass!!

     

    My go-to healthy dinner over this challenge has been chicken and vegetables. It’s not the most exciting food, but it’s practically no calories and you can do a lot with the empty palette that is chicken. Here are a few ways we’ve done chicken and vegetables over the past few weeks:

    Chicken Stir Fry

    • sliced chicken breast marinated in teriyaki sauce (we did beef one time)
    • bell pepper (sliced)
    • onion (rough chop)
    • carrot (julienned or sliced)
    • broccoli
    • cauliflower
    • Heat a light layer of (vegetable/olive/canola… doesn’t really matter for this recipe) oil on medium-high in a large and light pan (a wok, if available) until shimmering
      • I like to stir fry on medium-high because things move a bit too fast when on full heat
    • In a large bowl, add the vegetables and enough teriyaki sauce to coat the vegetables. Toss until the vegetables are coated.
    • In the pan add a batch of vegetables and chicken.
      • Don’t crowd the pan too much, the deliciousness comes from where the food touches the oil. It can’t touch the oil when it’s stacked 2 or 3 deep
    • Stir the stir fry by tossing the food.
      • I usually let the food warm up for 30 seconds to a minute before I start tossing.
      • This is why it’s important to use a relatively light pan. Tossing with a heavy pan sucks.
    • Repeat with the other batches.

     

    Smoked Chicken Breast

    • Chicken Breast
    • Spices
    • Charcoal kettle grill
    • Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce
    • Apple Cider Vinegar

     

    • Spices (I didn’t write it down, so I’m guessing — any good chicken dry rub would work)
      • Garlic powder – 1 tbsp
      • Onion powder – 1 tbsp
      • Kosher salt – 2 tbsp
      • Cayenne – 1 tsp (add more for heat… or add red pepper flakes)
      • Thyme – 2 tsp
      • Black pepper – 1 tbsp
    • DISCLAIMER: I used chicken breast because it was on hand. There are better cuts of chicken that could be used.
    • Put the dry rub on the chicken and put it (uncovered) in the fridge.
      • Pat the chicken dry and trim off excess fat and connective tissue before doing the dry rub
      • Do this at least 2 hours before putting the chicken on the grill…. ideally 8+ hours before
    • Fire up the grill in smoking mode
      • Pile coals (I prefer lump charcoal) in one corner of the grill
      • Add chunks of smoking wood… I used hickory
      • Add a water pan either over the coals (on the top grate above the direct heating zone) or under the chicken (on the bottom grate in the indirect heating zone)
    • Place chicken on indirect side of the grill
    • Smoke for ~2 hours at 325-350

    1920x1200px Oscar The Grouch Desktop Background

     

    As for me, it’s been a few weeks of maintenance after a great start. I’m a bit frustrated, but I’ve had a bunch of changes at work, including a bunch of meals with law firms, resulting in my low carb goal being hit or miss. The physical activity goal is also hit or miss. I have a pair of treadmills coming in next week, so the excuses go away next Tuesday.

    Anyway, I’m a bit grouchy because of the effect of these work changes.

    pretty much lol | That's Funny | Pinterest | Pretty much ...

    Sesame Street Oscar The Grouch Lounge Tank & Hot Pants Set ...

  • The Hat and The Hair: Episode 69

     

    “BOLTON! BOLTON! BOLTON!” the hat chanted. “We’re bringing the glory years of George the 2nd back, baby!”

    The hair lay motionless on the desk in the Oval Office, not a single strand reacting. The hat had been raving at it for a solid hour.

    “We’ve got to be tough, dammit,” the hat continued. “Real politics. The nattering nabobs of negativity have to be torn out by the root!”

    “There was nothing wrong with McMasters,” the hair said in a hoarse whisper.

    “There was everything wrong with McMasters,” Donald grumbled from the filthy couch. “He was the National Security ADVISER. ADVISER. What’s the use of being ADVISED by someone who never agrees with you? Nothing, I tell you. No use. Useless.”

    “Donald…” the hair began.

    “And he was bald,” Donald said diversely. “Can’t trust a bald guy. A bald guy’s got no hair, fer Chrissakes!”

    “Donald…” the hair tried again.

    “Oh, shut up, you whiny slut,” the hat told him.

    “How can you trust someone with no hair?” Donald asked. “They are naked when God is looking down on them. Disrespectful, if you ask me.”

    “But did it have to be Bolton? The bow ties, the eyebrows, that fucking mustache?” the hair asked plaintively.

    “Yes,” the hat hissed, “It had to be Bolton. We want the world to take us seriously, don’t we? And there’s only so many hours in the day I can tweet, right?”

    Donald pulled his knees toward his chest and farted like an angry bugle.

    “Besides, with Hope gone,” the hat said, ”We have to up the hotness quotient around here and Bolton is one sexy motherfucker.”

    The hair, with no nose or sinus passages, managed to snort loudly.

    “Laugh all you want, you keratinous cretin, you cowlick cunt, but a lot of women really go for the Bloodthirsty Wilford Brimley. There’s not a woman alive that wouldn’t want to peel those eyebrows off and rub them on their nipples!”

    “I always wanted a mustache,” Donald said wistfully.

    “We’ll get you one, Donald,” the hat told him. “And he won’t be a yellow-pinko Commie peacenik bastard like your hair.”

    “You motherfucker!” the hair yelled and raised into the threat display of a Funnel-web spider.

    “Bring it! Bring it!” the hat screeched.

  • Friday Morning Links

    Ten games on the ice yesterday.  Tampa Bay outlasted the Islanders. The Panthers topped the Rangers.  Bloe Jackets blanked the Panthers. Hurricanes dumped the woeful Coyotes. Caps beat the Dead Wings. Oilers greased the Senators. Maple Leafs drilled the Predators. Canucks beat the Crackhawks. San Jose beat Army/Vegas. and The Kangz annihilated the Avalanche. Well done, all.  But when are the MINNESOOOOOOOODA WIIIIIIIILD playing again, dammit?

    OK, now to basketball. This shit is getting out of hand.  Loyola-Illinois won again too advance to the Final 8. They held off a furious Nevada rally to close the game out and advance as an 11 seed.  Joining them were Michigan, the lone higher seed to win yesterday who thumped aTm, Kansas State, a 9-seed who dumped blue-blood Kentucky, and Brett L’s very own 9-seed Florida State Seminoles. who took the perennial media darling Gonzaga behind the woodshed. So we have two 9’s and an 11 in the Final (I won’t call it “Elite” because that has always sounded stupid and was designed to sell more shit) 8. The only high seed remaining in the other sessions tonight is Syracuse. And I know I’ll be praying for them to take out that rat-faced cretin and his Dookies.  Why? If you have to ask then you will never understand.

    Happy Birthday, you badass, Nazi-killing machine

    Texas native Joan Crawford was born on this day. As was the genius Akira Kurosawa. rocket scientist Werner von Braun, crackshot Vasily Zaitsev, mother of a Monkee and savior of typists everywhere Bette Nesmith Graham, the fleet-footed Roger Bannister (who recently died), recently-fired-while-taking-a-dump Rex Tillerson, singer Chaka Khan, fat annoying guy Louie Anderson, cager Moses Malone, “brilliant” “actor” Richard Greico, professional troll Perez Hilton and superstar runner Mo Farah. There were others, but I realized the list was getting long.

    That’s it for trivia and sports. Now its time for…the links!

    She’s a keeper! You’ll never guess what state she’s from.

    You want to know how you end up with “Trail Of Tears II: Electric Boogaloo”?  Try pulling some shit like this on me. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with the court system? Fortunately it looks like its being reversed by the Indian court, but that doesn’t mean the idiots at Miami-Dade don’t have some serious-ass questions to answer.

    His reasons remain a mystery
    -CNN

    Murder and hostage situation developing in France.  According to CNN and MSNBC, the motive of the attacker may never be known.

    House Committee looking into collusion claims all but accuses James Clapper of committing perjury. Also find no collision between Trump campaign and Russian government but found a systemic effort to stymie Trump officials from effectively transitioning.  CNN had a steaming hot take on it, even calling in the aforementioned Clapper to give his opinion while never noting that he was directly called out for misleading statements under oath. But I’m sure that was in the original story and just got edited for brevity.

    The Senate passed possibly the worst spending bill it could have even considered. Thanks a lot, assholes.

    Worse than crackheads

    A pot calls a kettle black.

    And finally, in case any of you were considering picking up a meth habit, look at these photos before you pick up that pipe. Is that how meth is done anyway? Or is it snorted? For some reason I assumed it was smoked like crack. Huh, I’m sure somebody will explain it to me in the comments.

    Here you go.

    Have a great Friday and a better weekend, friends.

  • Thicc Thursday

    The Winter Olympics in Seoul might be over, but the Korean OlympTHICCS has just begun.

    Our first event will be Ms. Daijin:

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BgIhh0_h48o

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BYjDz_hDPem/

    https://www.instagram.com/p/Be0-dtajDnJ/

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BW8ASYlj3zD

    https://www.instagram.com/p/3_sQGQEB4B

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BCe3-sukB0i

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BVLd7UiDeLv

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BGx-gVwkBxH

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BX9yT32DA8I

  • Thursday Afternoon Links – The Hat and The Hair: Episode 68

    “Joe Biden? I’ll fucking fight Joe Biden!” Donald screamed into his phone.

    “Oh, Christ,” his hair said.

    “Lighten up,” his hat said.

    “You set it up, Sean,” Donald said. “You set it up. I want it on prime time, Sean. I will beat that gropey old fuck to death! To death!”

    There was a muted whoosh as the hat sent a message out on Twitter.

    “Uh,” the hair said.

    “Shut up,” the hat said, “I’m being intimidating. Biden will be so intimidated he won’t even show up for the fight.”

    “FOR-FEIT!” Donald said into the phone. “Biden’ll forfeit, Sean. He won’t even show up for the fight.”

    “Can you hear what Sean is saying?” the hat asked.

    “Barely,” the hair replied. “It’s not a very good connection.”

    “I need to know what he’s going to say about the fight on his show,” the hat said.

    “OK, then shut up and let me listen,” the hair snapped.

    “No, no, no. Sean, no. No, Sean. Listen to me. LISTEN. TO. ME. The fight is going to happen no matter what,” Donald said, “I’m just giving you guys the opportunity to air it. In prime time. Yes, prime time. 8pm, Sean. Right after Wheel of Fortune.”

    “Sean doesn’t think he can get the network to pay for it,” the hair whispered.

    “They’d be idiots not to,” the hat whispered back.

    “He saying that if Donald wins the network would be accused of rigging the fight,” the hair whispered.

    “Of course we’re going to rig the fight,” the hat said indignantly. “I’m not letting our Donald go out there and get beat up by goofy-ass Joe Biden!”

    “Yes, Sean,” Donald said. “Yes. You have to pay for the ring and the venue. I can’t pay for it. It can’t be done. It just can’t. What? I don’t know. Get CNN to go in on it with you. Cost-sharing or whatever. Peddle your ass like you did for rent money in college; I don’t fucking care.”

    The hat and the hair shook with laughter.

    “And I want sexy ring girls. Sexy. Not those wrung-out hags you call news girls. I want 10s or higher out there shaking their ass. White girls too. I ain’t having it look like a ghetto strip club,” Donald said. He reached up and adjusted the hat and the hair and the hair hung on grimly.

    “Bow-chicka-wow-wow,” the hat sang quietly.

    “Are you over Hope leaving already?” the hair asked maliciously.

    “There’s always going to be gash coming in and going out of this place. I might as well get used to it,” the hat replied.

    “Would you two be quiet?” Donald asked angrily.

    “Sorry, Donald,” the hair said.

    “Fuck off, Donald,” the hat said.

    “Just finalize the plans. We can have it in New York City before the Park Slope dykes finally ruin it. Make it happen. I want Biden in that ring. I want McCabe working his corner. I wanna see Hillary drinking out of his spit bucket.” Donald slammed the phone down and pressed his Diet Coke button impatiently.

    “I think that went well, Donald,” the hat said.

    “Cheeseburgers,” Donald replied. “I need lots of cheeseburgers. I need to bulk up for the fight.”

     

  • What we did with the money…so far.

    Now that we are a year into The Glibertarian Age, the POWERS THAT BE decided to hold a meeting. Our…organization… took in some money this year (from your donations and a bit from the sales of Glibs merch). We have set aside some to keep the site up and running (with SP’s patience being tried every once and while). So, what to do with the remainder? As the POWERS THAT BE had agreed earlier, two particular organizations would receive a donation.

    The first donation was $600 to the Institute for Justice.

    This is a group that is truly fighting the good fight. They wade in and fight on four main issues: Educational Choice, Economic Liberty, First Amendment and Private Property. As much as we can disagree and dispute (from things as serious as abortion to as fun as pizza) – I think we can all cheer on the IJ.

    One of the most difficult aspects of fighting the constant encroachments on liberty, is the money to engage in litigation can be scarce for the little guy. This is where the IJ steps in. They send in the lawyers who will walk in and say “not so fast”. They will fight cases all the way to the end. Once they start to help, there is no running the abused party out of money or time.

     

     

     

     

    The second donation was $300 to the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education.

     

    This group has been useful in shining a light on the administrations of various schools/colleges/universities attempts to rid themselves of those pesky rights of speech, due process and the like. They will also get in there and assist with the defense of individual faculty and students.

     

     

    FIRE’s mission …

    The mission of FIRE is to defend and sustain individual rights at America’s colleges and universities. These rights include freedom of speech, legal equality, due process, religious liberty, and sanctity of conscience—the essential qualities of individual liberty and dignity. FIRE’s core mission is to protect the unprotected and to educate the public and communities of concerned Americans about the threats to these rights on our campuses and about the means to preserve them.

     

    This support for liberty has been made possible by YOU, the Glibertariat. YOUR donations, and purchases have helped defend liberty. Raise a glass to yourselves, or pat yourself on the back. You deserve it.

     

    UPDATE: We also should point out the link on the right side of the page…

    GLIBS ON KIVA.ORG

    Microfinance lending. A hand up, not a handout.

  • Thursday Morning Links

    Fuck, its only Thursday.  I swear to God the way this week is moving it feels like Tuesday.  Next Tuesday. But here we are… on Thursday March 22nd: the birthday of subtle genius Chico Marx, underrated Karl Malden, (favorite of Drake) Werner Klemperer, USA Today founder and contributor to the dumbing down of America Al Neuharth, idiot Pat Robertson,  William fucking Shatner, Orrin freaking Hatch, scourge of juicers Dick Pound, Andrew Lloyd Webber, dipshit-extraordinaire Wolf Blitzer, chin-strong Reese Witherspoon, and local philanthropist and part-time football stud JJ Watt.

    As you can see, the sports update is a little thin, what with the international soccer break meaning no midweek games, no CBB until tonight and a small slate of hockey games, the results of which are as follows: Pittsburgh beat Montreal (and Sidney Crosby apparently scored a sick goal but I can’t be arsed to find a video of it because ESPN sucks ass. Arizona beat Buffalo in a preview of teams that won’t care until next season (at the earliest). St Louis topped Boston in a game both teams desperately wanted to win for playoff purposes. And the Anaheim Mighty Ducks blanked the Calgary Flames.

    Doesn’t make sense

    That’s pretty much all I’ve got for sports. Which leaves room for a bit of a rant.

    Doesn’t make sense

    Can somebody, since the writer/director is dead, please fucking explain to me why four of the five kids in The Breakfast Club were driven there by their parents?  They’re all seniors, obviously. Claire is ridiculously wealthy and her dad wasn’t mad at her at all when he dropped her off. Andrew’s a star jock, whose dad wasn’t really mad at him for what he did per se, only that he got caught. Allison’s parents don’t give a shit about her at all but they drive her too.

    Doesn’t make sense

    And its not like she’s poor. They’re driving a new Cadillac!

    Makes some sense

    Okay, I can see Brian’s mom taking him because she comes across as a hectoring asshole. And obviously Bender walked because he’s poor and his parents don’t give a fuck about him.  But at least three of them getting dropped off, at 7 am on a Saturday no less, doesn’t make any sense.  Thanks a lot, John Fucking Hughes.

    Still awesome

    Anyway, here are…the links!

    Unless you’ve got access to some Farrakhan archives or David Duke’s pen pal letters, this will probably be the most vile, racist thing you will read all day. Its certainly ::dons sunglasses;; beyond the pale.

    Idiot

    The Trudeau Age gets more absurd by the day. “Man, woman? They’re just words. We’re all the same, dude person. We’re all the same.” In the words of Mr Slave: Jesus Christ.

    I can’t wait to see the ballistics report on this circle jerk. Also, aren’t handguns illegal there?  I thought that meant this kind of thing could never…..oh wait, let me guess: its because anybody can just drive to (enter name of neighboring state or Indiana) and get a gun from a gas station without an ID.

    A brutal, yet sad, assessment on Chicago politics and Election Day fallout. Asked to comment on the election results, several Chicago voters exclaimed “thank you sir, may I have another!”

    Idiot

    Trump responds to Joe Biden the way Trump responds to everybody. If you’re on Twitter or plan on watching the news today, get some popcorn and prepare to see a lot of people with the vapors. As for me? I’ll get the jiffy pop out as soon as I stop laughing.

    You know, there’s a really easy way for the public to decide what really happened here: Just release the damn video. I know, I know. That’s crazy talk.  Well call me crazy then.

    That’s it. Other than this entirely predictable selection.

    Have a great day!

    ::walks across football field…raises fist::

  • Wednesday Afternoon Links

    I’d apologize but that would be showing signs of weakness, so instead I give you UNBROKEN EYE CONTACT.

    TMZ publishes some screenshots of alleged bomber’s blog posts from a ways back. He sounds like a peach.

    Israeli Defense Chief Regrets Clearing 2007 Syria Nuclear Reactor Strike for Publication: Israel claimed credit for the 2007 attack, 11 years after it was carried out to stop Syria from developing a nuclear capacity with North Korean help. Haaretz is being useful by putting everything you need to know about the news in the headline and making the article about the politics behind the news, which are kinda fun.

    Speaking of Israel, this is one girl lucky to still be alive. Try this in Egypt or Lebanon or Syria and see what happens.

    Most of kidnapped schoolgirls freed, Nigeria says. The rest of the world responds with “wait, that was STILL going on? WTF?” Edit: “Most of the 110 schoolgirls kidnapped last month in Nigeria by the terror group Boko Haram have been released and returned to their hometown of Dapchi, a Nigerian minister said Wednesday.” Late links are bad links y’all.