Blog

Well today was a historically significant day.  The US bought Alaska from Russia for $7,200,000. The Romans killed Jesus Christ. Texas reentered the Union. Gandhi announced his resistance to the Rowlatt Act. Miles Davis released “Bitches Brew”. John Hinckley shot Reagan and three others. Vincent Van Gogh and de Goya were born. As was Robert Bunsen, inventor of the Bunsen Burner.  Also born on this date was Ingvar Kamprad, the recently deceased founder of Ikea. Warren Beatty shares the date with them as well as Jerry Lucas, superstar basketball player of his era as well as a Buckeye standout. Musicians Eric Clapton, Tracy Chapman, Norah Jones and Celine Dion were also born on this date and share it with “actor” Ian Ziering of 90210 “fame”, M.C. Hammer, Robbie Coltrane and all-around assclown Richard Sherman.

My, what a Opening Day!!!!  The White Sox’s Matt Davidson went yard three times, although ESPN is fixated on Giancarlo Stanton’s two dingers for the Yankees, in their win over the Royals. The aforementioned New York team beat the Blue Jays. The Tampa Bay Rays took care of the Red Sox. The Cubs hung dog balls on the Marlins. The M-E-T-S, Mets Mets Mets! dumped the Cardinals. Our very own OMWC’s Baltimore Orioles took down the MINNESOOOOODA TWIIIIIIIINS (yeah, I’m probably doing it for baseball too). The Brew Crew put down the Padres. The Mariners dropped Cleveland. The D-backs drilled the Rockies. The San Francisco Giants managed one measly run on Clayton Kershaw, which was enough to win (sad trombone for Dodgers fans). The good news for Dodgers fans is that Cody Bellinger only struck out twice! Although he did nothing with his other at bats.  Oh yeah, and the Astros have a two-game winning streak: Game 7 in LA and opening day in Arlington, as they dumped the Rangers.  Good times, people. Good times!

Ten games on the ice! Winners were: Boston, who have leapfrogged their opponent second in the Wales Conference standings, the Dead Wings, the Penguins, the Senators, The Predators, the MINNESOOOOOOODA WIIIIIIIILD!, the Blue Jackets, the LA Kangz, Canucks and Chicago Blackhawks, who coincidentally used a local accountant between the pipes in the third period after injuries to their two other goaltenders. Seriously, that happened.  Go look it up.

And “go look it up” will be the theme for today, as I can’t be arsed to do it for you in…the links!

The absurdity of California’s cancer warning labels reached new heights yesterday.Looks like Starbucks is going to have to label that everything they sell causes cancer.   Lol, you can’t make this shit up. I hope people catch on and continue diluting the meaning of these idiotic warnings and get it to the point where they are removed for lack of impact.

I guess when you’re no longer able to dole out government largesse in exchange for money, the well gets a little shallower.  That’s what Hillary Clinton is finding out, as she gave a speech yesterday at Rutgers, who needs to be removed from the Big Ten for sucking so bad by the way, for which she received a whopping $25,000.  Jeez, that’s quite the dip from the half-mil her husband was paid by a Russian energy firm immediately after they were giver special access to the State Dept. Wait, that was just a coincidence. Just ask the Obama White House.

Finally, Dems will get the Cold War with Russiathey were hankering for all last year.  They’re going to expel 60 American diplomats in retaliation for the ones we just expelled in retaliation for the alleged assassination of a Putin critic living in England.   All this after the British and French expelled 60 diplomats or something.  I don’t know the numbers. All I know is this is the kind of ratcheting up of tensions the peace-loving left have been bitching for ever since Trump was duly elected installed by his puppet-masters in the Kremlin.

Kentucky passed a pension overhaul that preserves pensions for the vast majority of state workers,  I’ve got a novel idea: abolish all the state pensions and treat these people like adults who are able to fund their own pensions like the rest of the civilized (at least in America) world.  A 20 year government career shouldn’t enable someone to collect twice what they earned from age 45 to 85, while getting full medical coverage on my tax dollars.  Sorry, but that’s an absurdly irresponsible stewardship of my money.

States who have legalized pot want to sit down with Jeff Sessions and come to an agreement on what the feds are planning to do.  The WH lifted a rule that kept the Feds from enforcing federal law in states that had legalized the drug.  I don’t recall enforcement of any kind taking place, but the law hangs over growers, sellers and users like the sword of Damocles and there really does need to be some resolution made.  Hopefully this will be the start of it.

And in the only link I’m providing (;-D), a Pasadena, TX police officer shot somebody yesterday. But don’t expect it to make the news.  I’m thinking he ought to get a medal for bravery, although I may have to question his ability to see what’s downrange.  Either way, that asshole had it coming.

Enjoy one of the greatest bands of all time.

And have a happy Easter.

Alright, alright, alright. Let’s see if we get Firstros or Lastros today.  George Springer starts with a dinger, as did the Cubs leadoff hitter. Bombs away, just like last year. The supposed to be contender Cubs are pulling away from the fire-sale Marlins. John Lester having given up four runs before getting the hook in the mid-4th. Meanwhile, all systems are crap for the Rays — with a smoky grease fire that is no threat to anyone being about what I expect out of them.

World leader puts foot in mouth, forcing press corps to spin furiously … Vatican edition. “Is the Pope Catholic” to be removed from list of rhetorical questions

McDonalds will now give up to $3000/year in tuition assistance thanks to tax law changes. See, work at McDonalds for 40 years and you can afford that Oberlin MFA in Puppetry, too

More proof that Ohio is just the Florida of the Midwest. Ohio woman wants to replace law-maker she was sexting with. We know he’s all about constituent service, what does she bring to the table?

Blockchain stocks falter as first round of suckers get wise. I think the blockchain in its current form scales terribly. Having to do exponentially more work on a regular basis to keep the distributed trust fresh was a cool idea — especially for an alternative store of value to fiat currency — but there are emerging, competing, less computationally intense ways of establishing distributed trust networks.

A little Eagles of Death Metal, since the gliberati seemed to like the lead singer’s statements on mass shootings.

Damn, I soooooo wanted to write “Friday” there.  This week has been brutal long for no apparent reason whatsoever. Bah, I better stop complaining and just suck it up. I can think of one Guy that historically had a much harder Easter week than me. And he didn’t complain.

But you know who had a legitimate complaint?  Baseball fans.  They had months to ponder the previous season and lament the results.  Well, most of them did anyway (except Houstonians). But that all ends today as the MLB season gets underway. A nice slate of games to get us started, the results of which I will have ready for you tomorrow.

But you know who did play yesterday in games that matter?  The NHL, that’s who.  And the results of those games were: Toronto over Florida. The Capitals over the Rangers. The Coyotes over Army/Vegas. And Philly kicked Colorado in the balls in a crucial game with serious playoff implications.  We’re down to the nub now. Let’s see who rises to the occasion and who chokes.

No more sports, but that’s ok.  Some cool things of note happened on this date: Beethoven gave his debut performance. Beethoven’s funeral was also held many years later. The Republic of Switzerland was formed. The Albert Hall was opened. Julius and Ethel Rosenberg are sentenced to death. Pitcher Cy Young was born. As was asshole Eugene McCarthy, businessman Sam Walton, cager Walt “Clyde” Frazier, “actor” Christopher Lambert, hottie Elle MacPherson and Warrior Princess Lucy Lawless.

How’s that for useless knowledge?  I hope its enough, because now I’m gonna do…the links!

Tesla stock continues to take a beating as their cars become involved in accidents and ratings agencies take a hard look and downgrade their bond rating.  This is the beginning of the collapse of that house of cards.  They’ve never hit a single production goal, their cars are routinely panned in reviews, they have mismanaged every cash infusion they’ve received, and the government tap has been shut off.  My take on it all: #fuckem.

David Hogg calls for boycott of Laura Ingraham after she knocks him for being a bitch about not getting accepted to any of the colleges he applied to and whining about it publicly.  Oh, shit. I hope he doesn’t call for a boycott of my links because I called him a whiner too.  If he did that, I’m afraid we’d have to increase our server capacity about tenfold just to accommodate the additional traffic his tantrum precipitated.

LOL, Jesus Christ. Don’t whine in public if you can’t handle a little criticism. Just call the Tides Foundation, Everytown or George Clooney and ask them to help you get in somewhere. You know they’re all on speed dial, punk.

Its time for states and municipalities to face some cold, hard truths.  This is the price you pay for free money to start programs that require large outlays in the future, dumbasses.

Businessman gives himself (sort of) an 800% raise and the left is apoplectic. They want to sue him to keep him from “getting away with it”.  Because, you know, they can’t just divest and sell the stock to someone else. Hell no! They have to punish him rather than just take their money elsewhere.  Huh, and I thought they were all about boycotts.

I’m sure this number will come as a shock to many of you.  It certainly did for me.  I expected it to be a lot higher.

The AARP gets a dose of their own medicine. Well of course they use the hard sell. How else are they gonna attract members so they can warn them about…the hard sell?

Unless you have urgent business there, I’d recommend staying away from Sacramento today. Well, any day for that matter. But today is gonna be especially messy as the race-hustlers descend to stand on the body of Stephon Clark and grandstand.  I hope his family gets some peace and justice. I do not see it starting with Al Sharpton et al coming to town for their own glory.

Enjoy the video.  Note: Parts of this video may be unsuitable for Kurt Eichenwald. It is in no way directed at him, so please don’t send the FBI my way. kthxbai

Have a great day.

Once again, I take you for a brief tour of the day’s news as seen by people who would prefer not to speak Engrish!

OEF Veteran not smart enough to know that service in the military while often helpful in gaining citizenship is not automatic. Seriously, after two tours you would think he gave immigration a call. That sort of went to hell when he was caught smoking pot on base (dumbass), resulting in a General Discharge. All of which ultimately led to the drug conviction that led to them denying citizenship. I mean, I feel for the guy with the pot thing, but once you sell a kilo of cocaína to an undercover cop, well….

En 2010, fue condenado en el condado de Cook, Illinois, por cargos relacionados con la entrega de casi un kilo de cocaína a un oficial encubierto. Fue sentenciado a 15 años y su tarjeta verde o tarjeta de residencia fue revocada. Había cumplido la mitad de su condena cuando ICE comenzó el proceso de deportación.

Pérez dijo que estaba sorprendido de estar en detención de ICE y erróneamente creyó que alistarse en el ejército automáticamente le daría la ciudadanía estadounidense, según su abogado, Chris Bergin. Su solicitud retroactiva de ciudadanía fue denegada a principios de este mes. Si bien hay disposiciones para agilizar el proceso de naturalización de las tropas, un requisito principal es que el solicitante demuestre “buen carácter moral”, y la condena por drogas fue suficiente para influir en la decisión en contra de su solicitud, dijo Bergin.

Pérez se alistó en el ejército en 2001, solo meses antes del 11 de septiembre. Sirvió en Afganistán desde octubre de 2002 hasta abril de 2003 y nuevamente desde mayo hasta octubre de 2003, según su abogado. Él dejó el Ejército en 2004 con un despido general después de que lo sorprendieron fumando marihuana en la base.

Pérez inició una huelga de hambre a principios de este año, diciendo que temía que la deportación significara la muerte. Además de no recibir el tratamiento que necesitaba, le dijo a CNN que teme que los cárteles de la droga mexicanos intentarán reclutarlo por su experiencia en combate y lo asesinarán si no coopera.

“Si me están sentenciando a una muerte segura, y yo voy a morir, ¿por qué morir en un lugar en el que no he considerado mi hogar en mucho tiempo?”, preguntó.

_____

In 2010, he was convicted in Cook County, Illinois, on charges related to the delivery of nearly a kilo of cocaine to an undercover officer. He was sentenced to 15 years and his green card or residence card was revoked. He had served half his sentence when ICE began the deportation process.

Perez said he was surprised to be in ICE detention and erroneously believed that enlisting in the military would automatically give him US citizenship, according to his attorney, Chris Bergin. His retroactive request for citizenship was denied earlier this month. While there are provisions to expedite the process of naturalization of troops, a principal requirement is that the applicant demonstrate “good moral character”, and the conviction for drugs was sufficient to influence the decision against his request, said Bergin.

Pérez enlisted in the army in 2001, just months before September 11. He served in Afghanistan from October 2002 to April 2003 and again from May to October 2003, according to his lawyer. He left the Army in 2004 with a general dismissal after he was caught smoking marijuana at the base.

Pérez began a hunger strike earlier this year, saying he feared deportation would mean death. In addition to not receiving the treatment he needed, he told CNN he fears that the Mexican drug cartels will try to recruit him because of his combat experience and will kill him if he does not cooperate.

“If they are sentencing me to certain death, and I am going to die, why should I die in a place where I have not considered my home in a long time?” He asked.

On Univision Noticias page its all….China, immigration, deportation, immigration, census BS, immigration. Here’s something different!

 

Daniels –cuyo nombre real es Stephanie Clifford– “tiene la intención de demostrar que el acuerdo de silencio no tenía un objeto o propósito legítimo”, arguye Avenatti en la moción.

“Más bien, el acuerdo y el pago de $130,000 que se hizo de conformidad con el propósito de influir en la elección presidencial de 2016 al impedir a la demandante de hablar abierta y públicamente sobre el Sr. Trump apenas semanas antes de las elecciones”, sostiene Cohen en su escrito a la corte.

____

Daniels – whose real name is Stephanie Clifford – “intends to demonstrate that the silent agreement did not have a legitimate object or purpose,” Avenatti argues in the motion.

“Rather, the settlement and payment of $ 130,000 was made in accordance with the purpose of influencing the 2016 presidential election by preventing the applicant from speaking openly and publicly about Mr. Trump just weeks before the election,” Cohen argues in his brief to the court.

Next week: Hillary blames Trump paying off a porn star for losing the election.

I’m sure they are glossing over the details of how they went about doing it, but the result is pretty cool.

“La idea era peatonalizar la calle, que se le pusiera un poco de area verde, algo de color y mobiliario. No había nada muy elaborado por parte de la municipalidad”, dice Fernández, quien comenzó a pintar desde los 14 años, al sur de Santiago. “Escuchamos lo que querían y la verdad es que nos pareció que tenía un potencial tremendo”.

Si bien la propuesta ya era innovadora en lo visual, también lo fue en lo comercial: la Municipalidad de Santiago no tuvo que sacar ni un peso de sus bolsillos. El proyecto completo se financió, básicamente, a través del aporte que distintas marcas hicieron para visibilizar sus logos en el Paseo, por donde transitan decenas de miles de personas cada día. Con el dinero entregado por las empresas privadas, Fernández pudo cerrar el espacio a los autos y buses, comprar los materiales, y solventar los gastos que significaba transformar, pintar e intervenir la calle Bandera. Según el artista, el costo total del proyecto no superó los 550,000 dólares.

_____

“The idea was to pedestrianize the street, to put a little green area, some color and furniture. There was nothing very elaborate on the part of the municipality, “says Fernández, who began painting at age 14, south of Santiago. “We heard what they wanted and the truth is that we thought it had tremendous potential.”

Although the proposal was already innovative visually, it was also commercial: the Municipality of Santiago did not have to take any weight out of their pockets. The entire project was financed, basically, through the contribution made by different brands to make their logos visible on the Paseo, where tens of thousands of people pass through each day. With the money given by the private companies, Fernandez was able to close the space to the cars and buses, buy the materials, and pay for the expenses that transforming, painting and intervening Calle Bandera meant. According to the artist, the total cost of the project did not exceed $ 550,000.

As always, translation services provided by the Alpha Beta Corporation, who say, “we might suck, but at least we’re not Facebook!”

 

Yay, its Wednesday!!! That means…shit, that means nothing. Its just another day. Well, today anyway, not historically. This date was a historical nightmare for the Europeans, seeing as it was the day the Reichstag gave Hitler absolute power and was also the day Franco captured Madrid to end the Spanish Civil War.  Not to mention it was the birthday for hipsters’ favorite brewer, Frederick Pabst, Simpson’s theme-writer Alf Clausen, underhand-freethrow-shooter Rick Barry, Filipino strongman Rodrigo Duterte, Salt (of Salt-n-Pepa), noted libertarian Vince Vaughn, and post-deserting piece of shit Bowe Bergdahl.

Oh yeah, some sporting stuff happened yesterday. In International tune ups, the Frogs went through Russia better than Napoleon did. The Suisse split Panama in two. Brazil got a little revenge over the Krauts (although its little solace after the blitzkrieg the Germans put on them at home 4 years ago). The Limeys drew the Cops. And the Spanish ran roughshod over Argentina in what has to feel worse for the South Americans than the Peron years.

On the ice, the Devils, Islanders, Dead Wings, Blues, J-E-T-S, Blue Jackets, Canucks, Stars and Predators (over the MINNESOOOOODA WIIIIIILD) were your winners as the playoffs inch ever closer. In those races, the Panthers, Devils and Flyers are fighting for the two spots in the Wales Conference. While the Campbell is pretty much a four team scramble between the Kings, Blues, Ducks and Avalanche for the final 3 spots (with a little goofiness thrown in depending on divisional placement). Only 5-7 games to go, guys! Then the real fun begins.

Did you get all that?  I hope so, because I’m already moving on to…the links!

Toronto restauranteur doing God’s work. Not only is he helping cull the population of hate birds, the birds that hate, but he’s riling up the militant vegan dickbags who are trying to shut him down.  Looks like he’s figured out that all you have to do is get their heart rate above 120 for five minutes and they’ll be forced to retire from lack of energy.

Facebook stock continues its rapid slide as Zuckerberg “agrees” to testify before Congress. I, for one, hope it continues to drop as their self-righteous bullshit is finally exposed for what it is: a scheme to mine personal data for profit. And to be clear, I’m all for what they’re doing in that respect. But they’re passing themselves off as some wholesome guardian of liberty (they’re selective in who they block) and a check against tyranny (ask some Chinese FB users if that’s true) rather than the naked capitalists they are (and should be proud of). And that’s some pretty weak shit.

I haven’t seen such shit come out of the Dodgers dugout since the first two innings of game 7 of last year’s World Series. Yeah, I said it. Whatchagonna do? THE ASTROS ARE WORLD CHAMPS and I compared a sewage leak to the Dodgers WS finale performance.

Way to go, Stanford!!!!! No, seriously. This is about the best news imaginable.

There’s a pair of interesting twists to this story of a (D) Massachusetts politician getting blitzed and driving (most of the way) home.. 1: He actually got a ticket even after he told the cop he was one of the King’s men. and 2: he isn’t related to the Kennedy clan.  Which, now that I think about it, if he was a Kennedy, then 1 never would have happened. Not even if he had literally drove off a bridge and left a dead chick in his car.

Good! A man has a right to defend his property.  I hope this is the last we hear of this episode.

The video this person made makes no fucking sense whatsoever!!!!! But the song is still awesome.

Have a great day out there.

Police use dead man’s fingers to try to unlock his iPhone

The dead have no privacy rights.

Corpses can’t assert privacy rights in courts. But they can unlock their iPhones with fingerprint authentication, and that comes in mighty handy when police need to investigate who killed them or who convinced them to go on a stabbing spree with a butcher’s knife.

Forbes has published a report of what it says is the first known case of police using a dead man’s fingerprints in their efforts to get past the protection of Apple’s Touch ID authentication technology.

Note that a previous case from July 2016 involved police making a cast from a dead man’s prints, but not from his actual fingers. They asked for 3D prints to be made from fingerprints they already had on file from having previously booked him.

The landmark case involving actual dead fingers is that of Abdul Razak Ali Artan, an 18-year-old Somali immigrant who plowed his car into a group of people on the Ohio State University campus, attacked victims with a butcher’s knife, and was shot dead by police in November 2016.

No one–living or dead–has privacy rights to their phones anyway. I mean, you don’t see them mentioned in the 4th Amendment, do you?

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

If The Founders wanted people to have privacy with respect to phones, they would have mentioned them. “Persons, houses, papers, and effects.” A phone is not a person, a house, nor made of paper. I guess you could make some sort of argument that a phone is an “effect,” but who even knows nowadays what that word meant 200 years ago? The Founders sure couldn’t have meant high-powered pocket computers with large-capacity memory storage because those things didn’t exist. QED, bitches.

---

“Gee, I’m really sorry your career blew up, Ricky.”

Nickelodeon Parts Ways With Producer Dan Schneider

Nickelodeon and prolific TV producer Dan Schneider have opted to end their longtime partnership.

“Following many conversations together about next directions and future opportunities, Nickelodeon and our longtime creative partner Dan Schneider/Schneider’s Bakery have agreed to not extend the current deal,” the Viacom-owned cable network said Monday in a statement. “Since several Schneider’s Bakery projects are wrapping up, both sides agreed that this is a natural time for Nickelodeon and Schneider’s Bakery to pursue other opportunities and projects.”

Of course, that article makes no mention of why their “longtime partnership” is ending…

The Next Big Hollywood Sex Scandal Is Already Breaking…At Nickelodeon

Dan Schneider is a former actor and producer at Nickelodeon. He is responsible for nearly every one of their biggest successes in the last 20 years. Schneider has produced and written the shows that have given us breakout stars like Arianna Grande, Amanda Bynes and Victoria Justice.

Schneider has also been the subject of some very disturbing and consistent rumors for years. One need only search his name on the internet to find pretty damning rumors about him going back years. There are stories of his foot fetishes and how he acts them out on young extras alone in his office. There are stories about his relationships with his underage teenage stars and how they led to spin-off shows for the girls or blacklisting for those who didn’t participate.

Monique: “He can’t keep his slimy testicles off me.”

Lane: “His what?”

Monique: “Testicles.” (waves arms)

Lane: “Tentacles. N. T. Big difference.”

---

The Media Martyrdom of Lez Guevara Considered as a Downhill Classmate Corpse Toboggan Race

Joan of Arc and the Passion of Emma González

On Saturday, González, who is small and compact, and who wears her dark hair cropped close to her skull, spoke for just a couple of minutes, offering an emotional name-check of the students who had died. Then, lifting her eyes and staring into the distance before her, González stood in silence. Inhaling and exhaling deeply—the microphone caught the susurration, like waves lapping a shoreline—González’s face was stoic, tragic. Her expression shifted only minutely, but each shift—her nostrils flaring, or her eyelids batting tightly closed—registered vast emotion. Tears rolled down her cheeks; she did not wipe them away. Mostly, the crowd was silent, too, though waves of cheering support—“Go, Emma!” “We all love you!”—arose momentarily, then faded away. She stood in this articulate silence for more than twice as long as she had spoken, until a timer beeped. Six minutes and twenty seconds were over, she told her audience: the period of time it took Nikolas Cruz to commit the massacre.

In its restraint, its symbolism, and its palpable emotion, González’s silence was a remarkable piece of political expression. Her appearance also offered an uncanny echo of one of the most indelible performances in the history of cinema: that of Renée Maria Falconetti, who starred in Carl Theodor Dreyer’s classic silent film from 1928, “The Passion of Joan of Arc.” Based upon the transcript of Joan of Arc’s trial, in 1431, Dreyer’s film shows Joan as an otherworldly young woman—she is nineteen, to the best of her limited knowledge—who, in the face of a barrage of questioning by hostile, older, powerful clerics, is simultaneously self-contained and brimming over with emotion. Falconetti, who never made another movie, gives an extraordinary performance, her face registering at different moments rapture, fear, defiance, and transcendence. Joan’s defense in the face of her inquisitors is largely mute: when she is asked to describe Saint Michael—who, she blasphemously claims, has appeared to her—she mostly refrains from verbal response, her silence bespeaking holy understanding greater than theirs. In the final phase of her life, when Joan knows that she is to be martyred, Dreyer’s camera lingers on closeups of Falconetti, with her brutally close-cropped hair, her rough garments, and her anguished silence. Her extraordinary image in that sequence could be intercut almost seamlessly with footage from Saturday’s rally.

Hagiography at its finest, folks. Emma will have her own feast day soon.

But if Emma is Joan of Arc, might we also cast the rest of the characters for the Emma/Joan movie mash-up? Because David Hogg is perfect for Gilles de Rais.

Gilles de Montmorency-Laval (French: [də ʁɛ]; prob. c. September 1405 – 26 October 1440),[1] Baron de Rais, was a knight and lord from Brittany, Anjou and Poitou,[2] a leader in the French army, and a companion-in-arms of Joan of Arc. He is best known for his reputation and later conviction as a confessed serial killer of children.

…

Gilles’ bodyservant Étienne Corrillaut, known as Poitou, was an accomplice in many of the crimes and testified that his master stripped the child naked and hung him with ropes from a hook to prevent him from crying out, then masturbated upon the child’s belly or thighs. If the victim was a boy he would touch his genitals (particularly testicles) and buttocks. Taking the victim down, Rais comforted the child and assured him he only wanted to play with him. Gilles then either killed the child himself or had the child killed by his cousin Gilles de Sillé, Poitou or another bodyservant called Henriet.^[30] The victims were killed by decapitation, cutting of their throats, dismemberment, or breaking of their necks with a stick. A short, thick, double-edged sword called a braquemard was kept at hand for the murders.^[30] Poitou further testified that Rais sometimes abused the victims (whether boys or girls) before wounding them and at other times after the victim had been slashed in the throat or decapitated. According to Poitou, Rais disdained the victim’s sexual organs, and took “infinitely more pleasure in debauching himself in this manner … than in using their natural orifice, in the normal manner.”^[30]

In his own confession, Gilles testified that “when the said children were dead, he kissed them and those who had the most handsome limbs and heads he held up to admire them, and had their bodies cruelly cut open and took delight at the sight of their inner organs; and very often when the children were dying he sat on their stomachs and took pleasure in seeing them die and laughed”.^[31]

---