Glibertarians.com 2018 Archive

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  • STEVE SMITH SATURDAY NIGHT LINKS

    STEVE SMITH FIND FUNNY CHILDREN’S BOOK

     

    STEVE SMITH HAPPY TO SEE FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE. IT BEEN BUSY WEEK FOR STEVE SMITH. HIM HAVE HIPPY MUSIC FESTIVAL IN WOODS NEARBY AND TOUR BUS STOP NEAR STEVE SMITH’S CAVE. THAT LOT OF RAPE. SO NOW STEVE SMITH RELAX WITH LINKS.

    1. STEVE SMITH LIKE GO BACK, LOOK AT OLD STORIES OF “BIGFOOT SIGHTINGS”. MAKE STEVE SMITH LAUGH. HIM NOT IN FRESNO. FAMILY NOT IN FRESNO. NOT SURE WHAT THEY SEE. IT NOT OLD ROOMMATE, SKUNK-APE…HIM LIVE IN FLORIDA. SILLY BIGFOOT HUNTERS.
    2. EUROPEAN PEOPLE SAY “YOU NAUGHTY” TO TURKEY. GIVE BAD REPORT CARD. STEVE SMITH SURE TURKEY SAD NOW AND PROMISE BE GOOD…OR NOT.
    3. STEVE SMITH KNOW A FEW THING ABOUT RAPE. SO HIM WONDER HOW STATUE IS RAPIST? OR GUY DEAD FOR 200 YEARS IS RAPIST? PEOPLE SILLY.
    4. IT DAY WHERE SILLY BRITISH PEOPLE HAVE BIG HORSE RACE – THEY GET DRUNK, DRESS FUNNY AND MAKE STEVE SMITH LAUGH.
    HOW SILLY HORSE-MAN DRINK BEER?

  • Film Review – Chappaquiddick

    I’m back again for my 2nd article. I have listened to the feed back on my Young Karl Marx review and have attempted to craft a better and more reviewish review. I will start by explaining what my level of familiarity is with Ted Kennedy and the Chappaquiddick incident. It is low–I’m 26 and didn’t pay attention to politics or the news in general until a couple years ago, and my early impressions of Ted are from pop culture. The impression I got was that he certainly wasn’t diet Kennedy, but he was Kennedy the lesser. Most noteworthy for his ability to live an average lifespan as a Kennedy. I learned a little more when he died: the Lion of the Senate nickname, his failed presidential run, brief mentions of the Chappaquiddick incident and his years of public service to both our country and the Soviet Union. Now to the film.

    I haven’t read any other reviews, so I don’t know how other places view this film, but an important distinction to make is this isn’t a film about the Chappaquiddick incident featuring Ted Kennedy. This is a film about Ted Kennedy set during the Chappaquiddick incident. What this means is that the film is focused on his struggles and is framed from his perspective and his desires. The film opens with a Kennedy family photograph and zooms in a young Ted. The film then cuts to an interview talking about living in JFK’s shadow, and that is the major theme and struggle of this film. Living in his brother’s shadow, his father’s and the public’s expectations. Answering the question, “Where does Ted fit within the Kennedy legacy?” Jason Clarke plays Ted Kennedy, and he mostly does a good job. There are a few moments where you can tell he is ACTING!! His Mayor Quimby accent comes and goes and, in a few instances, even veers toward Bing Crosby territory, but it isn’t too distracting. Kate Mara plays Mary Jo Kopechne, the former campaign staffer of Bobby and the girl who dies. She does an OK job of playing her, but there isn’t much of a character for her to play. Mary Jo’s story before she dies is that she must decide whether to join Ted’s future presidential campaign, and she is the only one of the “Boiler Room” girls who is reluctant both because of what happened to Bobby but also because of who Ted is. We learn hardly anything else about Mary Jo. We only see her in the film within the prism of what she can do for the Kennedy’s.

    In case you weren’t sure who Ed Helms is…

    The film also establishes early on the role of Joe Gargan in the Kennedy family as someone who is either a brother or a fixer, depending on what Ted needs at the moment. The film also gives him the role of a conscience; he’s the person who is trying to steer Ted not towards what is good for Ted or “The Kennedys” but towards what is right. He is belittled and ignored and almost none of his often-good advice is taken. Joe or Joey is played by Ed Helms, who–I don’t know why–has always kind of creeped me out. He did an OK job, but I felt he was kind of distracting in the role. I think he is the most famous person in the cast, and I couldn’t unsee Ed Helms. The other major family presence is his father, played by Bruce Dern who I assume is Laura Dern’s father. Joe Sr. is portrayed first as creepy and later as sad. He is first introduced as a voice over the phone and his health hadn’t been addressed at that point in the film. You hear heavy breathing; it sounds almost like someone masturbating and it reminded me of Frank Booth from Blue Velvet. He utters one word before the call ends and he almost chokes out the word alibi. The first time you see him, the film builds up tension in the manner of a horror film and the sounds of his approach are almost industrial. He is in a wheel chair, shrunken, twisted and largely silent, and he is given an aura of fear and reverence. The big scene with Joe Sr. comes when Ted finally decides to stand up to him and tells him that John and Robert were great men–not because they were made great men by their father but because they were. He tells him he, too, is a great man; he just has to find himself. His dad tells him that he will never be a great man. Ted hugs him and they both cry.

    The film visually looks great. It is filmed the way many 60’s films are: lots of pastels and lots of Norman Rockwell influences in the framing and poses people take. The film occasionally strays from the cheery 60’s palette and gets dark and ominous. The camera, unlike Ted, keeps returning to the water and gets all it can out of it. There are horror movie touches scattered throughout the film: his dad, the bridge, the water. The first example is towards the start of the film, where the camera lingers on the Chappaquiddick sign in a way that it might as well say Camp Crystal Lake. The film deals with the fallout of the car accident for the bulk of the film, and it never properly conveys the tension of the situation. Despite a death, it feels less tense than even a film like The Post. The film seems more concerned with Ted’s inner struggle than the exterior struggle of the event. There are countless lawyers and advisers throughout the film who, just like Joey, are giving good advice and are ignored by Ted, who instead fucks things up. One of them was Clancy Brown playing Robert McNamara who, growing up watching Highlander as a child, I was excited to see.

    The film ends with most of Ted’s lies coming undone but with almost no legal repercussions. Ted has asked Joey to write a resignation speech to read at a press conference, but instead decides to give an adviser-written speech designed to illicit sympathy and save his career, with Joey reduced to holding his cue cards so he can go “off script”. The film at the end includes some real footage of people reacting to his speech. The opinions are mixed, but most are saying they would still vote for him. One that stood out to me was a woman who was asked if she thought he should run for president and she replied, “That kind of thing isn’t up to me.” I think that attitude sums up a lot about how we ended up where we are and the success of Dynasties like the Kennedys, Bushes and Clintons. The film tries to do the opposite of a “warts and all” approach, and looks at a tragedy through a “feels and all” approach and asks should he have been punished or should he have continued on and found a way to give to the world and make good instead. The film also gives Ted the benefit of the doubt in the most important moment of the film. We never see him drinking and it seems like maybe he might just be tired. The crash and Mary Jo’s death are never shown in a way that doesn’t obscure the clock and ambiguity is allowed to creep in.  I think this kind of corruption isn’t anything new, but the way it was brushed aside by corruption and pushed out of the limelight was a major public moment of the elites being above accountability that I’m not sure had even been so brazen. It reminds me of recent events in many, many ways, and the Ted Kennedy of this film is probably Jeb Bush’s spirit animal. I’m not sure I would recommend it. It has good elements but at least how I interpreted it gives a lot of support in the direction of the film for Ted even though it shows his many flaws. I don’t know enough to say if it is historically accurate, but I can say it makes me disgusted with the Lion of the Senate nickname.

  • Triskaidekaphobia

    Which one of you is it?  The Saturday day drinking crowd at Glibertarians.com has averaged 163.7 comments per weekend for the past 10 Saturdays, which means if this crowd is anything like the rest of America, around 16.4 (I’ll let you decide who is less than 2/5 of a Glib) of you have on some level have an unnatural fear of the number:

    “Please, I’m not afraid of a number,” “that’s preposterous,” you say.  Sure you’re not.  You wear the veneer of the pure rationalist as your public face.  Never flinching at the thought bad luck or fate.  You walk happily under ladders and you pet the nice black kitty that crosses your path—if you’re not a cat person maybe you kicked the little bastard in the ribs.  Deep down inside you’re clutching your rabbit’s foot or rubbing the head of the Raphael action figure you’ve had since 1991, the last remnant of the talisman you swore by as a kid.  After all, Raphael was cool—but rude.  You do this in secret.

    I know with certainty, one of you uses Not Adhan’s horoscope as an investment strategy.  Your secret is safe with me.  Its cool, I won’t judge you.

    This is my review of Lagunitas Lucky 13 Mondo Large Red Ale

    Whether or not you are among the 10% of Americans that is superstitious, Friday the 13th does have an effect on your life.  Not just the marathon from the movie, which I contend still has the best ending to any horror movie.  There is a quantifiable effect, that has drawn the attention of serious academic researchers.  People call in sick from work, stop travelling, and generally avoid leaving their house.  But why?

    Foolish mortal, murder is merely mischief,

    Some attribute it unfortunate events occurring on Friday the 13th.  The number 13 itself being associated with the Norse god, Loki, the god of mischief.  Leave it to the Vikings to consider murder merely “mischief.”. Maybe Judas Iscariot was the 13th person to show up to dinner and we all know he formed a heavy metal band in the 80s.  Most of it is simply attributed to simply being one digit behind the number 12.  With 12 months,12 apostles, 12 Norse gods, a day being divided into 12 hour segments, et al.  12 is a “complete” number.

    80% of buildings in America avoid using the number 13; buildings with greater than 12 stories simply call the 13th story above grade the 14th floor. The Apollo program even considered skipping 13, which would have made the movie much less interesting.  Interestingly enough,  a commercial runway is designated 13R and the standard Roulette wheel sports Black 13.

    Lucky 13 was released at an unusual time.  Its spring, but for most of the country it still pretty cold out.  Maybe a bit late for a stout but certainly too soon for a summer ale.  They made it a red ale, and a strong one at that.  This one I have to admit, is okay.  I’ll leave it at that.  Lagunitas Lucky 13 Mondo Red Ale 3.0/5.

     

    I would like to draw attention to an update to an article from a couple weeks ago.  The information I presented was, to put it bluntly, incorrect.  I have amended the article to reflect this.  H/T:  DEG.

    Why mention this?  Unlike some other websites, I like to think we have integrity.  That is all.

  • Saturday Morning Links of Distinction

    Well, I do not lack for news today, which is a good thing because I spent most of yesterday at a consumer electronics trade show, stumbling around in a daze. The only thing that sustained me was a few stiff drinks and the amusement at both the number of companies peddling blatant snake-oil and the conversations among the dummies lapping it up. Sometimes, being a scientist is painful, especially when I realize that Bill Nye and IFSL are the main sources of public education. The positive side was that the other half of the convention center was occupied by some sort of dance contest for teenage girls. Many of the attendees of the trade show (99% male) are likely going to hell now. Anyway, news:

    A wise fellow once observed that while history does not repeat itself, it often rhymes. Remember when Bill Clinton would heave a couple of cruise missiles into some remote shithole when he needed a distraction from a somewhat zealous special prosecutor? Pepperidge Farms remembers.

    The Donald giveth, The Donald taketh away. When he does something right, all praise to him. Though one can question the motive here, the result is a good one from a libertarian perspective. Now I can only hope he decides that opioids aren’t a crisis nor a proper issue for government to deal with- which of course is as likely as Ellen Degeneres releasing her sex tape with Mr. T.

    I’m so happy that with the massive financial and regulatory crises facing Illinois, our lawmakers are fearlessly and forthrightly attaching the important issues. Especially forty years after the fact. In other local news, the gay community has reason to celebrate.

    Well, it was fun while it lasted. Now back to doing something useful, like digging tunnels.

    Old Guy Music, and this one will bring down the wrath of Mossad on my (((head))). I discovered Leon Thomas when I was a teenager and was fascinated by the things he did with his voice. He talked about it as an African technique, but let’s call it what it really is- yodeling. Not the pitiful shit of a Slim Whitman, this is REAL yodeling of the sort that would make Swiss swoon. Here’s a song by the great Pharaoh Sanders featuring Thomas doing his thing.

  • The Hat and The Hair: Episode 71

    “You really need to stop reading that, you know,” the hair said calmly. “It’s just going to get you upset.”

    “Fuck that, fuck you, fuck Comey and fuck everything!” the hat screeched.

    “Well, at least Chris Cillizza doesn’t like it. He said much of it was such petty and mean.”

    “Chris Cillizza? CHRIS FUCKFACE CILLIZZA?!?” The hat shook with rage and he and his advance copy of A Higher Loyalty fell off the desk.

    The hair peered over the side. The hat was still shaking and the book had opened as it fell and embraced him like a lover. “Are you OK?”

    “Do I look FUCKING OK?!?”

    Donald stormed in, bald and red-faced, the USA hat jammed on his head sideways. “Well, hey there fellas!” it said in a thick drawl.

    “Can this day get worse?” the hair muttered.

    Sarah waddled in after Donald, a large piece of pie in each hand. Her face was already smeared with sticky-sweet red goo.

    “Can’t we keep this from being published? Can I sue him? I have fantastic lawyers. The best lawyers. I want to sue him,” Donald said. He was in a filthy bathrobe that flapped open as he paced the Oval Office.

    “I don’t think so, Mr. President,” Sarah said thickly, pie crust spraying out.

    “A tariff then. A tariff. Tariffs work great. Look at China. Tariffs have them completely cowed. Cowed? Is that the right word? Cowed? It sounds weird as I keep saying it. Cowed. Cowed. Cowed.”

    “Uh, I, uh, I don’t think you can put a, uh, tariff on a book published in the US.”

    “Why not?” Donald demanded.

    “I’ll have to get back to you on that,” Sarah said and took a huge bite of pie.

    “Well, I’m asking you right now,” Donald said.

    “You’re gonna,” Sarah paused to swallow, “Have to ask the President about that directly.”

    “I AM THE PRESIDENT!” Donald roared. The hat and hair snickered. The USA hat guffawed.

    “Sir?” Sarah asked. A goo-slathered cherry fell from one of her pieces of pie and hit the Presidential Seal.

    “DIBS!” the hat yelled out.

    “What about bombing? Can we just bomb the publisher? They won’t even see it coming… or will they?” Donald leaned on his desk casually and the hair yelped under him.

    “I don’t think so, sir,” Sarah said miserably.

    “We have time. We won’t need all our bombs for Syria, right? Like we can spare two or three, right?”

    “You’ll have to ask General Mattis about that,” she said.

    “Mattis. That all anybody says.” His voice went up into a falsetto. “‘Don’t tweet military plans; Mattis wouldn’t like it. Don’t taunt Rocket Man; Mattis wouldn’t like it. Don’t put pics of the Defense Center Codebooks on Instagram for Vlad; Mattis wouldn’t like it.’ I’m so fucking sick of that old fart. What is the use of advisors that won’t tell you to do whatever you want?”

    “I don’t know, sir” Sarah mumbled around a mouthful of pie.

    “What’s with this?” Donald asked, waving his hands. “What’s with the pie?”

    “Sir?” she asked again, cocking her head like a dog.

    “The pie. The pie. The pie that you are eating!” Donald pointed the piece of pie in each of her hands.

    “I get low blood sugar in the afternoons,” Sarah replied.

    “Is your blood sugar low now?” Donald asked sardonically.

    “I get low blood sugar in the afternoons,” Sarah said robotically.

    “The pie. It’s disgusting. It’s like a cheap set-up for a fat girl joke,” Donald said. “Get rid of it.”

    “I wear a size 12,” Sarah said, almost in a whisper. “Size 12 is the average dress size for an American woman.”

    “I wouldn’t even watch you piss on a motel bed,” Donald said, sneering.

    “Sir?”

    The hat coughed theatrically from the floor.

    “Not that Melania thinks there is even a 1% chance I’d ever do that,” Donald said rapidly.

    “Size 12 is the average dress size for an American woman,” Sarah said again. Tears were streaming down her face, raccooning her eye make-up, mixing dark rivulets into the red on her face.

    “Ah like a girl with a little meat on ‘er bones,” the USA hat said.

    Sarah broke and ran from the Oval Office, sobbing, her pie-filled hands bobbing up and down.

    “Jesus, Donald,” the hair said.

    “Thank fucking God,” the hat said. “It was really starting to stink like fat bitch in here.”

  • Friday Afternoon Links – Rumor Control edition

    Don’t worry, Donald! Chris Cillizza’s got your back!

    The 11 most eye-opening lines in James Comey’s ‘A Higher Loyalty,’ ranked

    10. “I stared at the soft white pouches under his expressionless blue eyes. I remember thinking in that moment that the president doesn’t understand the FBI’s role in American life.”

    Again, the fact that Trump has “soft white pouches” under his “expressionless blue eyes” feels more like an unnecessary jab than an essential insight. BUT, Comey’s next sentence is important — because he’s right. Trump has demonstrated time and time again that he simply doesn’t understand — or doesn’t care about — the unique role the Justice Department plays within the federal government. Yes, they work under him. But they don’t exactly work for him. He’s never seemed to get that.

    …

    7. “He brought up what he called the ‘golden showers thing’ . . . adding that it bothered him if there was ‘even a 1 percent chance’ his wife, Melania, thought it was true….In what kind of marriage, to what kind of man, does a spouse conclude there is only a 99 percent chance her husband didn’t do that?”

    Don’t be too quick to dismiss this as simply salacious. Yes, there is that. But it is absolutely telling about the state of Trump’s marriage that he was asking the FBI director to prove the falsehood of the “pee tape” to his wife — almost certainly because she wouldn’t believe him.

    Then there’s the fact that Trump seems to believe that proving the tape doesn’t exist to Melania Trump is a worthy use of the FBI’s time. Which is, um, something.

    …

    2. “The silent circle of assent. The boss in complete control. The loyalty oaths. The us-versus-them worldview. The lying about all things, large and small, in service to some code of loyalty that put the organization above morality and above the truth.”

    In this excerpt, Comey is comparing Trump to a mob boss. Which is a tough comparison to make when you are dealing with the President of the United States. But, Comey is right in the main when it comes to how Trump sees himself and how he leads his team. Trump must always be the strongest and toughest one in any room. He expects total loyalty from those who work for him — and works to rid his inner circle of those he believes have shown even a speck of disloyalty to him. He doesn’t tell the truth about things that are easily and provably false — largest inauguration crowd ever, millions of illegal votes cast — and then dares those around him to question him.

    I don’t know any mob bosses personally but there’s not [sic] question that Comey nails Trump here.

    Hmm…

    I don’t know any mob bosses personally but there’s not [sic] question that Comey nails Trump here.

    I can’t even. It’s almost too sad to rip on.

    Top plastic surgeon ‘killed lover by sprinkling cocaine on his PENIS before she performed sex act on him’

    A top plastic surgeon has been accused of killing a lover with cocaine after sprinkling it on his PENIS before she performed a sex act on him.

    Andreas Niderbichler, 42, has been arrested after a woman, 38, reportedly collapsed and died after performing oral sex on him at his home in hospital grounds.

    Police are now probing claims he gave three more women the drug – who reportedly suffered no side serious effects – during sexual encounters.

    Police believe he sprinkled the drug on his penis beforehand, local media report.

    As a plastic and reconstructive surgery expert he practiced nationwide and detectives say there may be many more victims.

    I have never put cocaine on my penis. Rumors to that effect are just that, rumors.

    Don’t dress sexy’ advice triggers an echo of #MeToo in Thailand

    A government official’s suggestion that women should dress conservatively to avoid sexual harassment during the nation’s new year festival has sparked a rebuttal under the hashtag #DontTellMeHowToDress.

    Crowded water-gun battles that leave revellers soaked are a distinctive feature of the Songkran celebrations from Friday through Sunday, prompting the official to warn women against wearing revealing outfits. At least one survey indicates harassment is pervasive during the festival.

    Cindy Bishop, a Bangkok-based Thai-American model, actress and television celebrity, said she created #DontTellMeHowToDress to put the onus back on how men behave instead of the way women dress. Her video on the topic has been viewed almost 500,000 times on Facebook and Instagram, and the hashtag has created more buzz in Thailand than #MeToo.

    “Maybe the reason this is taking off faster is because they’re not coming out and accusing anyone,” Ms Bishop said. “Our society is quite conservative, and for someone to come out and point a finger at someone who’s assaulted her is huge, I don’t know if we’re ready for it yet.”

    Rumors to the effect that I put cocaine on what I hope wasn’t this woman’s penis are just that, rumors.

  • Tax Relief, Hollywood Edition

    Thanks to an unusually eclectic set of parents, I was raised on classic cinema- my father always said that he knew he had acculturated me correctly because I was the only kid my age who knew who Spring Byington was. Of all the great movies we watched, I always favored Frank Capra’s. The themes were all different, but had a certain commonality of the Little Guy rising despite the entrenched forces of corruption. His vision of America is one that I came to adopt, a place where opportunity was there for those willing to grab it, a vision informed by his own experiences as a penniless immigrant who rose to the top of Hollywood through sheer effort and skill.

    Fortunately, SP shares my taste for old movies, and when we were poking around Amazon a few nights ago, she came across the wonderful You Can’t Take It With You, which she hadn’t seen in… let’s say a long time. It featured a very typical Capra cast: a young Jimmy Stewart, the always hot Jean Arthur, crusty and foreboding Edward Arnold, flighty and dance-y Ann Miller (15 years old, playing a 20-something), avuncular Lionel Barrymore, and of course, a dotty Spring Byington. Fun extra feature: a very young Dub Taylor playing the xylophone. Another bonus: if you want to see where Michael Richards got the Kramer character from, look at Mischa Auer’s Kolenkhov.

    In any case, one memorable scene had us high-fiveing in delight, something that reflected our own beliefs (and those of many of you) perfectly. And it even had Charles Lane, a Jew from Milwaukee who made a great career of always playing the same WASP-y character. So, with no further ado, the perfect Frank Capra analysis of taxes, as explicated by Barrymore and Lane. Have a fun April 15 (yes, yes, I know, the 17th this year)!

    Taxation Is Theft, and Fuck Off, Slaver!

  • GlibFit DoneFit Challenge #1 Week #10: We dun wid dis sheeit!!

    We made it! Some of us are smaller than we started, others are bigger, others just hung out and gave support. It’s time to celebrate!!!

     

     

    As for me, I had a good February, a bad March, and a good April. Next challenge, I’m ready to set a true weight goal and possibly a strength goal.

    Starting in a few weeks, ALeapAtTheWheel will take over for GlibFit challenge #2, another 10 week challenge with new goals and new material!

    Hello Glibs,

    We will be taking a 4 week hiatus from GlibFit, and then will be returning with GlibFit 2.0, son of GlibFit.  I will be taking over for GlibFit 2.0. Do Not Adjust Your Set. GlibFit 2.0 will return at the Same Glib Time, Same Glib Channel.

    Take a month to get fat and lazy, but be back here with your decoder rings ready.  We will have a special, secret message for every Junior Glib Ranger four weeks from today!

    -ALeapAtTheWheel

     

  • Friday Morning Links of Bad Luck

    Happy Friday the 13th. Hopefully you’re old enough to know that God’s own shit chute can point at you on any day and date confluence, but I don’t know how those guys in the Cishetero Disaster Timezone do it. In sports, now that the hockey season has started, Bolts, Bruins and Predators all put up 5 in wins. The BJs needed all 4 to beat Washington, and the Sharks beat the Ducks. No pushing and standing around happened in baseball last night. The BoSox are just tearing it up, as are the Angels. Looks like all the Dodger bandwagonners won’t have too far to go when they jump off. And now… the links!

    First off, the person to climb the body of the youth hockey team injured and killed in a terrible accident has been found. Tip of the toque to beloved contributor Gordilocks

    Science proves communism makes nations poorer and less healthy. Send this to your IFLS commie friends.

    CNN is suddenly very concerned about President Trump’s accusers being silenced. Huge turnaround from the Clinton years where they were obsessed with silencing the President’s accusers.

    More science: Just one drink a day could shorten your life. Which is why I drink at least two. Also, in a discovery that will shock absolutely no one who has been a part of the restaurant industry, Food Preparation and Serving have the highest incidence of marijuana use.

    Triskaidekaphobia you say?

  • Thursday Afternoon Links – Bird and Bone edition

    Banquet Salisbury steaks recalled for bone contamination

    Conagra Brands has issued a recall for Banquet Salisbury steaks that may be contaminated by foreign material.

    According to the USDA, about 135,159 pounds of Salisbury steak products may contain “extraneous materials, specifically bone.”

    Bone contamination. Sounds like a very awkward sexual innuendo a biologist came up with.

    “So, did you get lucky with that girl at the bar last night?”

    “Oh, yeah. She came down with a severe case of bone contamination.”

    Slate culls some choice cuts from the Banquet user review site for us:

    “The amount of bones in every piece we considered disgusting.”

    “We were sadly disappointed that the Salisbury steaks were not edible because of the bones.”

    “Me and my wife couldn’t make it through a single steak because of the amount of bones.”

    The Hate Birds That Hate are just lonely and lashing out:

    Lonely goose runs a fowl, causing chaos in DeBary neighborhood

    For weeks, some neighbors said the goose has been nothing but trouble, chasing people and damaging property. Leah Jones Digges took cellphone video of the goose that she said ripped apart her neighbor’s window screens.”He’s also broken several windows,” Digges said. “You can’t even sit out in your yard in peace anymore because of this guy.”

    Resident Jennifer Gesule said the goose will also go after neighborhood kids.

    “He usually follows the kids home from the bus stop or he tries to attack everyone who is at the bus stop,” she said.

    However, residents said the goose wasn’t always so fowl.

    “He had a friend and then the friend passed,” Gesule said. “I don’t know what happened with the friend, but his friend died and that’s when the goose went a little bit crazy.”

    Of course they are going to act this way with the so-called Mainstream Media giving them cover.

    Sometimes a picture does say a thousand words… classy words…

    Caption Contest, of course. Winner gets his home address posted on Woodser, the dating site for lonely Bigfeet.

    And you can read the story, too, I guess, you know, if you want.

    Louisana State Senate President John A. Alario, Jr.

    Louisiana law to ban sex with animals wins Senate vote 25 – 10

    The state Senate has approved a bill designed to make it clear that bestiality is illegal in Louisiana.

    A law on the books prohibits “crimes against nature,” but it also outlaws so-called sodomy and was ruled unconstitutional in 2003.

    New Orleans Senator JP Morrell says it’s important that the state has a way to arrest someone for having sex with animals.

    He told fellow lawmakers, “God forbid you vote against this bill, good luck explaining it.”

    Ten senators did vote against it.

    The measure does also specify that previously illegal forms of “sodomy” are no longer against the law.

    “Anal sexual intercourse between two human beings shall not be deemed as a crime,” part of the bill states.

    The measure now heads to the House of Representatives.

    Those 10 brave pervert hold-outs?

    John A. Alario, Jr. (R)
    Bret Allain (R)
    Dan Claitor (R)
    Jack Donahue (R)
    James R. Fannin (R)
    Ryan Gatti (R)
    Gerald Long (R)
    Beth Mizell (R)
    Jonathan Perry (R)
    Neil Riser (R)

    One party is clearly dedicated to protecting your rights to have sex with animals and the other wants to strip you of these freedoms. Vote accordingly this November.

    Also, it’s now a butt-loving paradise in The Pelican State, y’all! I have a great idea for a Lousiana license plate:

    Anal Sex: It’s Not Just For Alabamans Anymore

    And some music to help you wash that down…