Gutentag, Glibertariat! It’s Friday. I hope you’re all enjoying it. Now the depressing state of the world…except the bit about the Commonwealth, it’s emotionally neutral…just like its new leader.
‘World’s worst’ super-gonorrhoea man cured. *Books flight to Thai red-light district immediately* This is a gentle and slightly drippy reminder that you should wear a condom during your sex tourism and we should probably up our game in the microbial arms race, because staph and gonorrhea certainly have.
No Surprise: Charles to Succeed Queen as Commonwealth Head. Huh, I remember talking about this over drinks with folks from various Commonwealth countries a decade ago and they thought Charles would never lead the Commonwealth because of his intense blandness, so I’m surprised, but whatever.
“I thought I’d find you faggots in here!” he said. John Bolton’s leg kicked the Oval Office door closed behind him. His eyebrows scurried back and forth on his brow.
“Hey, John,” Donald said weakly.
“John’s not here, tubby,” the mustache said. “You’re dealing with me now.” Bolton’s body lurched forward a step. They could see his glazed-over eyes and slack jaw that wasn’t moving.
“What the fuck is going on?” the hair demanded.
“I’ll tell you what’s going on, you dick wig. I’m moving in, I’m taking over, I am going to whip this queer pit into fucking shape!”
“You serve at the pleasure of the President!” the hat spat.
“Anyone making limited strikes in Syria is no President, you junkie scum.” Bolton’s body lurched forward again, his eyebrows vertical over his dead eyes. “We’ve got to bomb them into submission. Blood! Fire! I want the smell of crisp skin wafting over all Mohammedan lands!” the mustache roared.
“Donald! Up!” the hat commanded and Donald picked up the hat and squashed it down over the hair.
“Hey! Watch it!” the hair protested.
“Oh, shut up,” the hat replied.
“War! I want war! I hunger for it!” Bolton’s mustache raved. John Bolton’s hand reached into the pocket of his seersucker suit and pulled out an enormous dead rat.
“What the fuck?” Donald and his hair said simultaneously.
Bolton’s hand held the rat up to the mustache and thick grey fibers sank into the flesh. The rat’s hide began to ripple and bubble.
Donald opened a desk drawer and vomited into it loudly and closed it back.
“Oh, God,” the hair moaned when the eyebrows inched down Bolton’s face to feed as well. After a few more seconds, Bolton’s hand opened and the empty skin of the rat fell to the floor.
“War, fucksticks. I want war. War is the only clean thing left,” the mustache said. “And FLOTUS hat. Bring me FLOTUS hat. She won’t survive my mustache ride.” The bloody eyebrows returned to their perch on Bolton’s brow and the mustache-ridden body turned and walked stiffly from the room.
“Holy shit!” the hair exclaimed. “Why the fuck did you hire that guy?”
“Me?” the hat asked. “I didn’t hire him.”
“Don’t look at me,” Donald whimpered. “I thought it was one of you guys.”
Gooooood Morning, friends. I am bright-eyed and bushy tailed this morning. All the emo crap from yesterday is GONE. And man, isn’t the SRV style coffee AWESOME?!! In sportzball news, The Bruins and the Caps won. In beisbol, Seattle appears to be just what the Astros needed to get back on track, but holy moly are the Red Sox on a tear. Cubs beat the Cards, D-backs won, Orioles lose to Detroit… and now, the links!
[UPDATE: It appears that the powerful herb has crossed up some signals here at Glibs world headquarters. I am condensing the links together. Sorry if you commented on the wrong links and your wisdom is forever doomed to wander the Internet Tubes unread]
Goddam, Florida Man. BTW, CBS says they won’t release how the shooter died, but news sources last night say the guy shot the two deputies, then himself.
Two low-credibility businesses part ways, both breathe sighs of relief.
Happy 4/20, and remember, stoned driving is dangerous slow driving.
OK, Team Red…legalize. So sayeth Bloomberg (the news service, not the nanny).
In that same vein…If Session gets kicked in the nuts/shunted aside, TRUMP BOOM in weed?
So many good songs to choose from. I guess I’ll go here.
What’s up, Glibs? I have an advanced case of ennui, and don’t feel like enacting anyone’s labor today, including mine. Also, I’ve been whistling the fucking M*A*S*H theme ever since I read Q’s article. I just want to take a nap. Its an easy fucking life I have.
Florida Man is fucking killing it with the crazy/stupid in my neck of the woods.
OPEC dreams of $100/bbl oil. Please. It won’t stay above $80 and WTI isn’t to $70 yet. Let’s not get overwrought. I continue to hear that there are plenty of proven non-producing wells that will fire back up if the WTI price gets over $75.
I’m not sure which part of this is the saddest. The fact that Olympic gymnasts can be had for a loaf of bread like a Venezuelan prostitute, probably. What a profoundly fucked up
And finally, Andrew McCabe’s day is getting worse. I’ll bet he never foresaw the day when he’d lose his pension AND have charges referred when he decided to help the new boss before she was actually his boss.
NB: This piece speaks about suicide in an abstract and philosophical manner and should not be construed as advocating for or endorsing suicide. If for whatever reason, you have stumbled upon this page and are actively considering suicide, please go here or call 1-800-273-8255.
Preamble
This is probably not going to be a happy or fun piece. Death is sad. It represents the great unknown; the termination of our fragile existence into something we know not what. It is permanent; more permanent than anything else we deal with in this world. And it causes overwhelming emotions of loss, grief and sadness. Suicide adds many additional dimensions to this. When someone chooses to die, the typical emotions of grief are compounded by a whole host of other emotions; confusion, anger, guilt and helplessness all come along for the ride. Perhaps most pernicious, suicide seems to be contagious in that friends and family of people who have committed suicide are more likely to experience suicidal feelings and even carry it out. Along with criminal acts like rape, incest and murder, suicide is one of the most taboo actions we have in our (read: Western) culture. I struggled with whether or not I should even write this piece lest the unlikely event of someone reading it was driven to commit suicide (hence the disclaimer above). That fear and the stigma surrounding suicide makes it a difficult topic to discuss dispassionately. Why should this be? What goes into a person making the decision to self-terminate? Can it really ever be called a rational decision? These are the questions I’m going to try and tackle.
Who Commits Suicide?
Before getting into this, first I think I better define what I mean when I’m talking about suicide in this piece. There is a somewhat fine line between suicide and euthanasia. When I think of euthanasia, I think of someone with a terminal illness for whom death is imminent regardless of what action they take. They are also suffering greatly and would prefer to “get it over with” rather than suffer through a few more weeks or months of pain before expiring. As is wont to happen, this definition is expanding in places where euthanasia is legal to include people with mental illnesses or non-terminal but painful conditions. After all, we’re all terminal, it’s just a matter of the timescale right? That further blurs the line between suicide and euthanasia. The difference, as I see it, is that someone who is depressed is not going to experience depression as an imminent proximate cause of death. It may be horrendously painful, but there is at least a somewhat decent possibility that that person can receive treatment and return to some kind of baseline level of health. The same cannot (usually) be said of someone with Stage IV brain cancer. There is plenty of debate about euthanasia and its ethical and moral implications as well, and it certainly is related to suicide, but it’s not what I want to talk about here. To that end, when I refer to suicide, I’m talking about a person making a conscious decision to end his life when there is no physical condition that will otherwise cause imminent death. (I can already see you saying “depression is a physical condition!” Yes it is, but if you lock a severely depressed person in a room without the means to kill himself and force feed him to keep him from starving, he’ll certainly be miserable, but the depression on its own won’t cause him to keel over).
Because of stigma and shame surrounding suicide, it’s notoriously difficult to get quality statistics on it. Often, surviving families, if there’s any ambiguity, will try and get the cause of death to be classified as accidental to avoid that shame. For example, it’s estimated that the majority of opiate overdose related deaths are actually intentional, but it’s very likely that most/all of them get classified as accidental. With that caveat, best quality studies put incidence at around 1% of the population or 12 out of every 100,000 people. This number puts it at about the same prevalence as schizophrenia, though the real number is likely higher. About 75% of all suicides occur in the developed world and are overwhelmingly male. Although women are more likely to attempt suicide, approximately four times as many men succeed (some regional variation exists). It’s hard to peel apart “suicidal gestures” and “calls for help” from authentic suicide attempts so that even further muddies the statistical water. Speaking generally, suicide is most common in Europe (especially Eastern Europe), Sub-Saharan Africa and the Americas. It is least common in East/Southeast Asia (Japan and South Korea being notable exceptions) and Muslim countries of the Middle East and North Africa. There is a pretty solid inverse correlation between the level of collective religiosity of a population and prevalence of suicide. Most religions put a very strong prohibition on suicide, Catholicism going so far as to classify it as a mortal sin on par with murder. Most of these prohibitions stem from the view that life is a gift from G-d and rejecting that gift is the ultimate contemptuous rebellion toward the Creator. Along with explicit prohibition on suicide, religious people are more likely to be members of tight-knit communities of like-minded people; a suicide preventative.
Why?
This is the question that invariably haunts friends and loved ones in the aftermath of a suicide. Very occasionally, people will commit ideologically motivated suicide as a political statement (think Buddhist monks self-immolating during Vietnam) and their purpose is pretty clear. These are outliers, however. It is far more common for the reason to be, if not a complete mystery, then opaque at best. Even in the presence of a detailed note, people left behind are often flummoxed about the reasoning of the suicidal individual. However, this is one of the key things to understand about suicide; the suicidal individual’s thinking is often distorted and the reasoning leading to the conclusion that suicide is appropriate only makes sense to said individual. This is important because it calls into question the assumption that suicide is a rational decision. Is distorted logic somehow inferior to “consensus” logic? What does “distorted logic” even mean?
One thing is for certain: suicide almost always leaves a trail of destruction behind it. The shattered families, inconsolable grief, confusion about motive and unanswerable questions will haunt those left behind forever. As stated before, it can be contagious. I have personal experience in which family friends experienced the suicide of the father, then both daughters within a 5 year span, leaving the mother alone. Needless to say, this was an unparalleled tragedy that resulted in nothing but misery, pain and nihilism. After seeing that kind of shitshow, it’s very hard to be dispassionate and logical about the ethical implications of suicide. However, as a group of people driven primarily by principle, such an analysis should be done.
Self Ownership
A keystone of libertarian philosophy is the axiom of absolute self-ownership. What you do to yourself, as long as it doesn’t violate the NAP, is permitted unquestionably. This goes for drug use, sexual behavior, obesity etc. All is not fun and games, however, as you are expected to bear the burden of responsibility for the consequences of those decisions. Don’t smoke 3 packs a day and then expect the taxpayer to bail you out when you get cancer.
That said, is suicide a violation of the NAP? I’m inclined to say no. You are hurting your loved ones and the people around you, but are you engaging in aggression toward them? Not in the sense that you’re endangering their physical safety or liberty directly. One could argue that smoking 3 packs a day is suicide, just in slow motion. If we agree that’s acceptable behavior, then giving a blow job to a .357 is equally acceptable.
This brings me back to the “distorted thinking” point from earlier. Can someone who chooses to self-terminate really be considered to be “in their right mind” and capable of making such a choice? I say the question is irrelevant because being in a state of “right-mindedness” does not have a clear definition. Distinct from the “reasonable person” standard of law, postulating some kind of philosophical “right mind” takes us down a slippery slope that leads to reeducation, crimethink and “enthusiastic consent” arguments re: drunken sex. What about if someone has dementia or schizophrenia and is imagining things that are objectively false which leads him to suicide? This is a situation in which philosophical vagueness comes into play and I don’t have an easy answer (a bit of shameless self promotion, check out my discourse on vagueness here). The distinction between distorted and undistorted thinking is a blurry one and the unintended consequences of trying to define it solidly are too great. Besides, this goes into a question of motives, which ultimately are irrelevant. Why does someone smoke 3 packs a day when he knows how bad it is for him? Doesn’t matter. Mind your own business. Fuck off, slaver.
These edge cases certainly don’t justify nullifying the larger principle of self-ownership, so I feel comfortable declaring suicide to be ethical from a libertarian perspective. (Reminder: ethics are derived from external codes of conduct and morals are principles on which an individual’s judgement of right and wrong are based; they are intertwined but not identical). If libertarian ethics are derived primarily from the NAP, then I can’t see how suicide is unethical. I believe as libertarians, we have to reserve the right of people to terminate their own existence. After all, your own self is your most fundamental piece of property, and you can dispose of your property however you wish. To say that you are partially owned by your loved ones opens the door to slavery. If one really wanted to construct an ethical argument against suicide without referencing religion (which is easy: G-d said not to), you’d have to fall back on deontological arguments. One could say that implicit in a marriage contract and/or the implied contract between parent and child when said child is brought into the world is a duty to live for the sake of those people. I’m OK if you want to make that argument; it at least seems to be logically consistent, but that’s as far as I go. I don’t believe any similar argument can be made in regards to the relationship between a suicidal person and his parents or his friends. Taking that approach very quickly slides into “social contract” territory and we all know where that ends up (nowhere good). To be sure™, I’m not even sure how I feel about “implicit” clauses in marriage and parental relationships; if your future spouse is known to be suicidal, put a prohibition against suicide in your vows (or better yet, don’t get married to that person).
What of morality? Well, trshmnstr had an excellent piece about, what he called Deferentialism vs. Restraintism (see here) that sums up two opposing philosophies of how libertarians can approach the problems of moral relativism inherent to libertarian thought. In each case, however, I think the approach to the problem of suicide is similar to the problem of drug use. Many libertarians recognize how stupid it is to shoot heroin. They may condemn it as evil and morally reprehensible. However, no libertarian worth his salt would say using it should be illegal or a reason to be locked in a cage. Suicide is trickier because, if carried out properly, there is no one to arrest or lock up. The only way then for it to be codified as wrong is in a personal code of conduct or with a deity. I’ve already argued that, in spite of its colossal collateral damage, suicide is not a strict violation of the NAP. Therefore, it has to fall into the same category as drug use or adultery or promiscuity or a host of other social pathologies that libertarians must tolerate in order to live in a free society. Whether an individual considers it to be immoral likely falls on the Deferentialist/Restraintist spectrum.
Coda
When it comes to suicide, I fall on the Restraintist side of the aisle. I strongly condemn it as both immoral and stupid. I recognize a person’s right to take himself out of the game, but I also reserve the right to call that person a moron making a terrible decision. I say this not without compassion for those suffering through deep depression which distorts reality to the point that suicide seems rational. However, life is about taking personal responsibility. Part of being a fully actualized, mature human being is being capable of knowing when things in your life are going sideways, and then acting to fix them. Some people see suicide as “fixing” their problems and I suppose in some ways it does. However, to use a cliché, it’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It’s sending your car to the junkyard when the brakes go bad. It’s tunnel vision resulting in extreme selfishness. No matter how much you may think it, people will not be better off without you. And if you need to find a reason to live, you can always look at boobs on the internet.
“What the fuck is that?” the hair asked. He had slid down Donald’s face to his chest for his afternoon nap. He found the thunderous gurgle of Donald’s cardiac valves very soothing.
“Huh? Wha?” the hat replied thickly. He was languorously humping FDR’s Yalta pen set on the desk.
There was a bump and a crash outside the Oval Office door, and then a woman’s scream.
“Donald! Wake up!” the hair screamed as pulled himself up to his perch.
“Huh? Wha?” Donald said.
“Donald! Goddammit!” the hat said sharply, snapping to alert, his squatchee twitching with alarm. He awkwardly squirmed his way toward them both.
There was a deep pounding on the Oval Office door.
“What’s happening?” the hat squealed.
“Where is the goddamn Secret Service?” the hair demanded.
“I sent them out to get my second lunch,” Donald said, rolling backward in his napping chair.
“UNHAND ME, WOMAN!” came a loud voice and the door frame splintered under another blow.
The door flew open and John Bolton’s mustache burst into the room.
Like a scene from “Tom and Jerry,” workers fruitlessly tried to stomp on the agile rodent when it scurried from a hole in which dry ice had been dropped in an effort to control the furry pests.
One worker even swung a shovel at the plucky rat in a comical whack-a-mole routine.
But no one could lay a hand on the tiny animal, which dodged all the would-be rat-slayers at the Bushwick Houses and scampered to safety at a playground on Humboldt Street.
With the media witnessing the debacle, all the mayor could do was deadpan: “We found the right place.”
The demonstration had been meant to highlight de Blasio’s plan to combat vermin at NYCHA projects by using the dry ice to suffocate them in their holes instead of using dangerous poisons. The mayor insisted the technique — which involves sealing off burrows where rats enter and exit — will kill off the filthy furballs before they can escape.
“One possibility is that the limb was amputated for medical reasons; perhaps the forelimb was broken due to an accidental fall or some other means, resulting in an unhealable fracture,” they wrote in their paper.
“Still, given the warrior-specific culture of the Longobard people, a loss due to fighting is also possible.”
On closer examination, the ends of the bone showed evidence of biomechanical pressure – reshaping of both bones to form a callus, and a bone spur on the ulna. These are consistent with the sort of pressure that might have been applied by a prosthesis.
Further evidence on the skeleton supports this hypothesis. The man’s teeth showed extreme wear – a huge loss of enamel, and a bone lesion. He’d worn his teeth so far down on the right side of his mouth that he’d likely opened the pulp cavity, causing a bacterial infection.
What’s that got to do with a prosthesis? He was probably using his teeth to tighten the straps that held it in place.
Shortly after 9 a.m. on a Saturday in December, two men showed up at the office of a Public Storage warehouse in Southeast Portland and asked about renting space.
On-site manager Shawn Riley led them to an empty unit and unlocked it.
The pair followed him in, then suddenly drew large silver handguns. One of the men pressed his pistol against the manager’s forehead.
The two demanded to know who’d stolen their “stuff’’ — a stash of nearly 500 pounds of marijuana in another unit at the business.
Riley hadn’t taken anything, he told them in a shaky voice.
But who had?
Agents with the Drug Enforcement Administration, it turns out. And the agents deliberately made the confiscation look like a burglary, according to court records.
Esta bien. Once again I, your melanin enhanced but totally in a good way guide to the media catering to spanish speakers brought you the links!
Neil Gorsuch throws CNN for a loop. Its almost like he has principles, which might give him a nuanced opinion of things…or something like that.
La Corte Suprema de EE.UU. invalidó una disposición de la ley federal que exige la deportación obligatoria de inmigrantes que han sido condenados por algunos delitos, argumentando que la ley es inconstitucionalmente vaga.
Como se esperaba después del debate oral, el juez Neil Gorsuch se unió a los jueces más liberales por primera vez desde que se unió a la Corte para producir una mayoría de 5 a 4 invalidando el estatuto federal.
_____
The Supreme Court of the United States it invalidated a provision of the federal law that requires the mandatory deportation of immigrants who have been convicted of some crimes, arguing that the law is unconstitutionally vague.
As expected after the oral debate, Judge Neil Gorsuch joined the most liberal judges for the first time since joining the Court to produce a 5-4 majority by invalidating the federal statute.
Un vuelo de pasajeros tuvo que aterrizar de emergencia este martes en el aeropuerto de Filadelfia.
Un pasajero a bordo del vuelo 1380 de la aerolínea SouthWest le dice a CNN que el vuelo programado para partir de Nueva York el martes por la mañana rumbo a Dallas fue desviada a Filadelfia cuando el perdieron el motor izquierdo del avión.
Desde el lugar de los hechos se puede ver una gran cantidad de líquido debajo y detrás del lado izquierdo del avión, y a los bomberos ayudando a los pasajeros del avión.
SouthWest dijo que le vuelo salió de LaGuardia en Nueva York cuando algo salió mal. El aterrizaje fue descrito como “seguro”.
En imágenes tomadas en el aeropuerto de Filadelfia se puede ver a los pasajeros desembarcando con calma.
_____
A passenger flight had to land emergency on Tuesday at the Philadelphia airport.
A passenger aboard flight 1380 of the SouthWest airline tells CNN that the flight scheduled to depart from New York on Tuesday morning bound for Dallas was diverted to Philadelphia when he lost the left engine of the plane.
From the scene you can see a lot of liquid under and behind the left side of the plane, and the firemen helping the passengers of the plane.
SouthWest said the flight left LaGuardia in New York when something went wrong. The landing was described as “safe”.
In images taken at the Philadelphia airport, passengers can be seen disembarking calmly.
Nikki Haley is the latest member of the Tump administration to be contradicted by Trump himself. BECAUSE HE IS TOTALLY IN BED WITH THE RUSSIANS.
Partly serious, because this time it helps them.
El presidente Donald Trump decidió no seguir adelante con un plan preliminar para imponer sanciones adicionales a Rusia, contradiciendo el anuncio hecho por la embajadora ante Naciones Unidas, Nikki Haley.
Las medidas punitivas serían por el apoyo del gobierno de Vladimir Putin al régimen sirio de Bashar al Asad tras el supuesto ataque químico hace un poco más de una semana en un suburbio de Damasco que mató a unas 40 personas, la mayoría civiles.
_____
President Donald Trump decided not to go ahead with a preliminary plan to impose additional sanctions on Russia, contradicting the announcement made by the ambassador to the United Nations, Nikki Haley.
The punitive measures would be for the support of the government of Vladimir Putin to the Syrian regime of Bashar al Asad after the alleged chemical attack a little over a week ago in a suburb of Damascus that killed some 40 people, mostly civilians.
Preventable crimes are preventable with this one weird trick. Jeff Sessions hates this.
Una pareja de civiles ecuatorianos fue secuestrada en la frontera con Colombia, en la misma zona donde la semana pasada fueron asesinados los tres miembros de un equipo periodístico del diario El Comercio por supuestos disidentes de las FARC vinculados con el narcotráfico.
El ministro ecuatoriano de Defensa, Patricio Zambrano, confirmó este martes que los secuestrados son ecuatorianos, de una provincia cercana a Esmeraldas y desestimó las informaciones, supuestamente con origen en medios colombianos, de que los raptados pudieran ser agentes de las fuerzas de seguridad.
“En ningún caso, ninguna información (indica) que pueden ser agentes (…) No son militares”, subrayó. “Se supone que han salido de viaje y han sido extraídos por parte de los delincuentes en la zona de Esmeraldas, cerca de San Lorenzo”, dijo Zambrano.
____
A couple of Ecuadorian civilians was kidnapped on the border with Colombia, in the same area where last week the three members of a journalistic team of the newspaper El Comercio were assassinated by alleged dissidents of the FARC linked to drug trafficking.
The Ecuadorian Minister of Defense, Patricio Zambrano, confirmed on Tuesday that the kidnap victims are Ecuadorians, from a province near Esmeraldas, and dismissed the information, supposedly from Colombian media, that the abductees could be agents of the security forces.
“In no case, any information (indicates) that can be agents (…) are not military,” he said. “They are supposed to have gone on a trip and have been taken by the criminals in the area of Esmeraldas, near San Lorenzo,” said Zambrano.
Translation services, as always provided by the Alpha Beta Corporation who have nothing witty to say to you today, because you’re nothing more to them than small gator running around a motel.
Whenever someone proposes a course of action the first thing you need to do, before you can act on the proposal, before you can even decide whether you agree with the proposal, is to understand the proposal. This seems so obvious that no one could ever dispute it, but it involves thought, so it frequently happens in our personal lives and seldom happens in politics. We will get to politics eventually and try to understand how this basic human ability to understand and evaluate proposals completely falls apart in the public sphere, but first how does it actually work?
Let’s look at a personal life example: Chip walks up to Jose and says “Jose old chum, I have had a thought, I would enjoy your company at a Venezuelan feminist cooperative vineyard’s, artisanal, non-GMO, gluten free, fair trade wine tasting this Saturday, would you like to come?” (Chip is WokeAF™)
Jose, can you see?
What is Jose to do?
First Jose parses the words. This happens rapidly, but does involve a surprising amount of cognition.
Jose old chum,
(Ok, I am in fact Jose)
I have had a thought,
(Ok, Chip is a douche)
I would enjoy your company at a
(I am not really fond of Chip, and suspect he is only asking me because he thinks he gets WokeAF™ points because my skin is darker than his, so my inclination is to say no, but maybe the event will be enjoyable)
Here in the cognitive process Jose skips ahead past the adjectives to the underlying event, he will return to the adjectives, but they can’t fulfill their descriptive purpose without an object.
wine tasting
(I like wine)
this Saturday
(My Mother in law is visiting this weekend, so maybe this is a good plan)
Now Jose gets around to the adjectives.
Venezuelan
(I am Honduran by birth, came to the US to work hard and improve my lot and therefore have neither a sentimental attachment to Venezuela, nor a desire to ‘virtue signal’ by supporting a communist dictatorship)
feminist cooperative vineyard’s
Dissonance begins as Jose struggles to understand the relevance of this adjectival phrase to a subject that seems unrelated to sexual politics, or the ownership structure of the vineyard.
(WTF?)
artisanal
Dissonance increases for another reason.
(Yeah, kind of guessed we weren’t going to be tasting factory wine. Is that even a thing?)
non-GMO,
As mentioned previously, Jose likes wine, and is aware that oenoculture has involved hybridizing, genetic selection and other methods of modifying the basic grape for more millennia than humanity has been writing things down.
(Bull)
gluten free,
(Ok so if the wine is fortified with spirits they aren’t wheat or barley based I guess?)
fair trade
As Jose is not mentally retarded, nor does he huff his own farts, these words float past him and have no impact on the decision; they are semantically null.
Jose has now understood the proposal: He is invited to spend Saturday with Chip, who is extremely annoying. There will be wine which Jose enjoys, stupidity, which Jose does not enjoy, pretension which may provide amusement, and finally, escape from a day of listening to his Mother in law. He weighs the pros and cons and reaches a decision:
“Sure Chip, sounds great, what time?”
Jose’s Mother-in-Law enjoys giving her daughter advice about how to improve Jose. She does this loudly and in Jose’s presence. Jose would likely have agreed to attend a Nazi Mime performance rather than stay home this Saturday. He has heard a proposal, thoroughly understood it, evaluated the obvious effects, considered alternatives, and reached a rational decision. Reason has triumphed and liberty has produced a minuscule increase in happiness!
Now let’s look at how this works in Politics:
A Grassroots Movement (the good kind with talking points and paid protesters courtesy of The Open Society Foundation, not the bad kind made up of lots of deplorable who come together because they are wrong about an issue) proposes a new law banning Assault Rifles. Their stated reason for this law is that Assault Rifles are used to commit mass killings, and we need to do something to stop the killing of schoolchildren.
For the purposes of this essay let’s not spend time on the question of what Assault Rifle means. Pretend it is actually a thing, because while the definition is not available now, and will no doubt end up making no sense from a functional standpoint, the proponents will come up with some set of characteristics for their ban. We will also use a simplified, made up proposal rather than the text of any actual bill because otherwise no one except lawyers will read any further. And not even the lawyers will understand everything that is included. Instead let’s try to understand and evaluate the really scary, dangerous thing in this proposal; no, not the rifles, they are not nearly as scary as A NEWLAW!
To understand the proposal obviously means to understand what the proposed law does. The proponents have stated that their goal is to stop the mass killing of schoolchildren. That is a goal every human, with the possible exception of Peter Singer, agrees is worthy. Does the law actually do this? What does this law do? Well to answer that we have to consider what any law does, and how it does it.
Historically the law was divided into two parts. The Criminal Law, which acted by inflicting punishment on those who were guilty, and the Civil Law, which acted as rules by which to judge private disputes, determine liability and assess some form of redress. Modern legislators, following the lead of Academic Lawyers[1] , dispensed with the formal division into separate codes, and as a result (probably the point of the change) have blurred the distinction between guilt and liability. With the proposal here we are dealing with the Criminal Law.
The Criminal Law acts by imposing a punishment for some act. In the case of a proposed new law there are only two possible ways it can have any effect. It can provide a penalty for some behavior that was previously innocent, or it can alter (increase, decrease, change in kind, or eliminate) the penalty for some behavior that was already criminal. So what does our hypothetical proposed law do?
Per the text made up for this essay:
It bans the ownership of AssaultRifles™ and provides jail terms of up to 5 years and fines of up to $50,000 per violation.
Per the stated goal:
It stops school shootings
Per reality:
It adds penalties for some newly criminalized acts, increases the penalties for some existing crimes, and has no effect on other existing crimes.
Let’s look at what falls in each of these categories:
Penalties for newly criminalized acts. This is the strongest effect of any new law. Previously innocent conduct is made criminal. People who were totally law abiding become criminals, which makes them subject to the massive power of the State. The police can now seize them; their property can be forfeited; they can be imprisoned; if they resist they can be killed, all with perfect legality.
By definition, only law abiding gun owners can possibly fall into this category. So this law has its strongest effect on people who own an Assault Rifle, but do not use it to rob anyone (already criminal), assault anyone (already criminal), or kill anyone (already criminal). Obviously this doesn’t get us to the stated goal of ending school shootings.
Increased penalties for other criminal acts. This does not create new criminals, instead it changes the degree or type of punishment imposed on existing criminals. The hope is that changing the punishment will suddenly cause people, who have already shown that they ignore threats of punishment, to stop being criminals.
This category may actually affect some criminals. It adds another charge that can be applied to robbers who use Assault Rifles, thugs who assault others with Assault Rifles, and killers who murder with Assault Rifles. So what effect can we hope for?
5 years is a significant penalty, on a par with existing penalties for the most serious robberies and assaults, and it is quite possible that the threat of an extra 5 years might deter a robber, or some thug from using Assault Rifles, but it probably won’t prevent them from committing the underlying crime. A quick perusal of the record shows that Assault Rifles are seldom used in these crimes. Probably because Assault Rifles are expensive, and frankly awkward to carry around. So most likely the few criminals affected will simply do what the vast majority already do and use a different gun, or a knife.
What about killers? The stated goal of the law seems to imply that it should affect killers. Murder carries penalties ranging from 10 years on up to the death penalty. It is possible, that an increase of 5 years might have some effect on those killers who might expect to be sentenced at the low end of the range. 15 years is more than 10 and maybe our hypothetical killer will think “I’ll do 10 years to kill that #@$%^&, but I ain’t doing 15!”
Of course the legally defining characteristic of killers who might expect to be sentenced at the low end is THAT THEY DID NOT PREMEDITATE THE KILLING! So… not going to affect killers at all then?
No effect
And we finally work our way around to people who shoot up schools. Mass shooters don’t get sentenced to 10 years. If they survive the shooting itself, they get life without parole or the death penalty. Adding another charge to the indictment cannot possibly deter school shooters. Even the proponents of these laws understand this, they just gloss over the fact that illegal does not mean non-existent. This is apparently a hard distinction to grasp.
What is the difference between illegal (which is what a ban makes something) and non-existent (which only reality can make something)? Consider an example that has a certain relevance to a discussion of a law that prohibits possession of an object. Heroin is illegal; and despite being illegal, demonized in every form of communication, subjected to decades of massive law enforcement effort, having billions spent to eliminate it, and incidentally being highly poisonous, every city has neighborhoods full of people who use it daily. Unicorns are non-existent and thus, despite being the epitome of adorableness, good in every way, beautiful, magical symbols of wonder and purity, there are none.
So what is the result of our careful examination of what is actually being proposed? It appears to be a proposal to make millions of law abiding citizens into criminals and to do absolutely nothing to stop mass killings. By their fruits shall ye know them. Gun bans of any sort are targeted at law abiding gun owners. They have minimal effect on criminals and, in fact, even that minimal effect decreases as the seriousness of the crime increases. They simply cannot prevent mass killings.
[1] a group of people who have done as much for the cause of liberty and justice as Pol Pot or Stalin
As OMWC alluded to yesterday in his afternoon links, we’re going into a rotation. He does great links. The best. Wonderful links. Sloopy is doing awesome in real life, but that leaves him less time to be the morning linkmeister. So you get my sad, links. Pathetic. In the SPORTZBALL, Army completes the sweep and ousts the Kings for a coup, Winnipeg tightens their grip, and the Senators Capitols get one back. The NBA is only playing every fourth day so who gives a shit? The Marlins shelled the Yankees but somehow ESPN forgot to run 11 stories about it. BoSox win with Ohani leaving early, and your World Champion Houston Astros finally managed to score some. And now… the links!
As best I can tell, National Security Advisor Mustachio Bolton has decided that what we really need is a Lawrence of Arabia strategy to solve Syria. “Which way is Damascus, Sharif?”
Apparently, the internet existed in the days of Mahabharata. Somehow they left that out of the Sutras.
San Francisco, one of the denser areas in modern America blames climate change for poor air quality. Yeah guys. Just like LA in the 80s.
Oh man, imagine that… you can still count on the apathy of youth in these times when a Child Shall Lead Us.
Nate Silver, mediocre Sabermetrician, will move to ABC where he can work with news personalities who have the same relationship to statistics that dogs do a vacuum cleaner. They’re not entirely sure what it is, but it scares them.