Glibertarians.com 2018 Archive

Category: Products You Need

  • Jumping Off A Bridge With The Rest Of You – The Bum Beer Challenge

    Swiss Servator

    I believe it was Brett who warned mexican sharpshooter sometime back about his beer reviews, something to the effect of not letting the commenters goad you into joining them should they jump off a bridge. Well, ms did at least fall off a small pedestrian bridge at the commentariats urging…reviewing “Earthquake“.

    Well, never learning from other’s mistakes…I saw a bit of banter in the comments of one of ms’ fine beer reviews:

    Almost immediately my brain’s higher functions shut down and I started pestering ms “hey, lets do a bum beer challenge! I can do a couple and you can do a couple!” Now the good messican resisted at first, but I whinged enough to get him to relent.

    I decided to open with a classic – Olde English 800. It got me to thinking…you know what else Olde and English we had at least 800 of around? Yeah….the common law. Not everything we brought over from England was worth casting aside, like tea over coffee or boiled beef. The common law was a keeper. In fact, when various States set up their Constitutions, they would often explicitly keep such. Virginia for example;

      “That the common law of England, and all statutes, or acts of parliament made in aid of the common law, prior to the fourth year, of James the first, which are of a general nature not local to that kingdom, together with the several acts of the colony then in force, so far as the same may consist with the several ordinances, declarations, and resolutions of the general convention, shall be considered as in full force, until the same shall be altered by the legislative power of the commonwealth.”

    So, was Olde English 800 one of these Colonial legacies? Hardly. It is a product of the Miller Brewing Company and joined us in 1964. It has been a staple of bums, highschoolers and college kids looking for a cheap drunk ever since. It has a bit of an evil reputation – receiving less than flattering reviews from those that care to do such.

    Up first…

     

    A sniff was a bit alarming. It reminded me of the stale beer you would smell in leftover plastic cups from a college kegger…the next morning when you were trying to remember if you had 13 or 14 beers, and really didn’t want to smell the leftover Natty Light in cups strewn about the living room and front porch.

    Taste – like corn syrup and despair, mixed and chilled. Then came the slightly to moderately unpleasant aftertaste. Some subsequent slugs of it didn’t help. I decided to pour the rest of the bottle out, in memory of departed comrades (but not the really cool ones, just the meh ones). RATING: 1 out of 5 dumpsters.

    Next up, I had planned to do King Cobra Malt Liquor – Anheuser-Busch’s answer to Olde English 800. I am disappointed that I was unable to find it around anywhere. Oh, not because I expected it to be any less vile than OE 800….but I had teed up some funny:

    Sorry, Commander. Maybe next time.

    and some interesting:

    Queen’s Cobras Regiment, Royal Thai Army

    But the story of the Queen’s Cobras, serving in Vietnam, will have to wait for another time.

    Instead, I drew forth the local Wal-Mart’s latest bum beer – Rockdale Light. Fortunately, it came in bum cans (24 oz) too (I suspected one can would be enough for this lifetime). Unlike OE, the Rockdale seems to have a bit more of a moderate set of opinions.

    Yes, Rockdale LIGHT…I am watching my Glibfit calories.

    Slipping the tallboy into its paper sack, I cracker ‘er open. Could it be that the craft beer revolution had come to bum beers? I tried a sniff and got…nothing. Huh. I mean, zero. Odd that…. OK, on to taste. Hmmmm. Similar. It was the Oakland of beers – No there, there. A little bit of an aftertaste of something resembling beer. 24 oz of 4ish % ABV….nothing. Not high enough alcohol content for a true bum beer, but by God, I can see cases of this being drained by thirsty undergrads, furtive highschoolers and others on a budget/not desiring taste, merely effect. I mean, $1.29 for a 24 oz can isn’t bank breaking. Dump a couple in a cheap plastic pitcher and here you go! Gets the job done, maybe a bit slower and you may end up a bit bloated by the sheer volume you would have to consume…but a success for the category. RATING: 3 out of 5 dumpsters.

    Later today, in Part 2, mexican sharpshooter suffers because of my enthusiasm.

  • Something for Everyone

    I like to think there is a little something for everyone here.  It isn’t necessarily out of spite that I do this, but I’ve drawn inspiration from the comments before.  Why stop now?


    This is my review of Perrier Peach.  Hat Tip:  mikey.


    What, this isn’t beer?  You don’t say?

    I actually drink a lot of these during the day a a substitute for something else I used to drink a lot of:  energy drinks.  About a year ago I stopped when it occurred to me that I was drinking three to four of them a day.  It all started during the fall 2007 when I was assigned to the airfield lighting crew.  It was a nice gig at the time because all airfields are a high voltage series circuit.  Each light is connected to a device called an isolation transformer, which is connected in series with each other like Christmas lights, so it is easy to troubleshoot.

    It also meant we had to complete the check prior to the start of the ops day, which meant I reported in at 0430.  I compensated for this when I discovered something called Boo Koo Energy Drink.  This eventually led to me switching to sugar-free energy drinks due to a concern for the amount of sugar I was drinking. 

    So why stop?  It had absolutely nothing to do with concern for aspartame which is a bit of a myth.  It turns out there is no causal effect between aspartame and cancer.  This, according to the American Cancer Society.

    It really didn’t have anything to do with concerns over aspartame and nerulogical disorders either.  Apparently, this is the claim floating around the ether:

    75% of the adverse reactions to food additives reported to the FDA each year including seizures, migraines, dizzinesss, nausea, muscle spasms, weight gain, depression, fatigue, irritability, heart palpitations, breathing difficulties, anxiety, tinnitus, schizophrenia and death.

    None of these are linked to aspartame.  In anything, these symptoms have more to do with other compounds like food dyes, used in products along with aspartame.  It’s only been used in food products since the 80s, if it caused seizures wouldn’t this kind of information show up beyond WordPress sites and Facebook memes?

    Finally, I didn’t stop drinking them because energy drinks are all that dangerous.  In fact, there are no fewer than 2097 studies on the subject, as determined in a literature review published in 2014.  They concluded,

    Energy drink consumption is a health issue primarily of the adolescent and young adult male population. It is linked to increased substance abuse and risk-taking behaviors.

    In other words, people that engage in risky activities, like to drink Red Bull.  Funny, given Red Bull markets itself with people that engage in high risk activities.

    Red Bull is not responsible for injury, accidents, or death resulting from extreme sports

    So why did I stop drinking energy drinks?  I never let my kids drink soda, and it seemed hypocritical that I drink so much of it in front of them. So I quit.  The caffeine withdrawal subsided after a couple months but I still choke down a cup of coffee or two.  The mineral water is…nice.  Its water, but with little bubbles.  The lime flavored one is much better; the peach is weird.  Perrier Peach:  0/5.

  • Spontaneous Cooking: Homemade Salad Dressing

    Summer Time is Salad Time

    The weather is finally getting warmer. That means it’s time to eat more salad. I thought I’d talk about homemade dressings. I have a special place in my heart for homemade dressing because that is what inspired me to really learn to cook.

    I was visiting a friend over July 4th for a big party when her mother opened a three ring binder full of recipes. Some of them were handwritten, others clipped from newspapers and magazines. She pointed to one and said, “You’re making that.” It was a green salad with dressing.

    Growing up, there were always three bottles of Wishbone dressing in the fridge: Ranch, French, and diet Italian. Salad was iceberg lettuce with tomatoes, or if Mom was feeling fancy sliced radishes or shredded carrots. The salad I made and its dressing were a revelation. I never knew salad could taste so good, the dressing was tart and fresh and garlicly. I’ve made my own dressing ever since.

    I save small jars, like caper jars or glass spice jars. They’re the right size for making small amounts of dressing and they are easy to clean in the dishwasher. They are also small enough to put in my salad container and take to work.

    I think they are far superior to this plastic crap. I used these once and was never able to satisfactorily clean them. The only reason they are still in my house is that my mother gave them to me and she might visit.

    Basic Vinaigrette

    Let’s start with a basic vinaigrette. A vinaigrette is three parts oil to one part acid. If you want to make a low fat version (unlikely on this web site), use two parts oil to one part acid. I say acid instead of vinegar because you can use a dry wine or citrus juice instead of vinegar.

    Start by choosing a vinegar and oil. I have red wine, balsamic, white wine, apple cider, rice and white vinegar on hand.

    I also have a variety of oil on hand. Olive, canola, peanut. Using a neutral oil like canola or peanut makes the vinegar the predominant flavor, using something like olive oil, changes the taste. While I don’t have any on hand right now, you could also use walnut or macadamia nut oil. Sesame oil is used as a flavor, I really don’t recommend using it for the dressing. It is overwhelming.

    I just do the three to one ratio by eye. Using a small, narrow jar makes that easy. Pour some vinegar into the jar and add salt and pepper.

    If this is the first time you’ve made your own dressing, you might want to stop there and add the oil – three times as much as the vinegar. Then shake well and taste. This lets you see how the vinegar and oil tastes. Experiment to find what you like. Remember you could also use citrus. I suggest adding a pinch of sugar or a little honey to balance the sour when using citrus juice. I accidentally added too much mustard, so I added more vinegar and oil and saved the extra for another day. It will separate, so take it out early and let it reach room temperature and shake it again.

    Always add the seasonings to the vinegar, then add the oil. This lets the salt dissolve and flavors of herbs infuse into the vinegar. Although most dressing recipes say to add the oil in a thin stream while whisking continuously, you really can just add it, cap and shake. It will separate more quickly than if you whisk, but you’re only making enough for one or two servings and you are going to serve it shortly, so it doesn’t really matter. If you make enough to keep it for a few days, you might want to do the thin stream while whisking.

    Once you know what kind of vinegar and oil you like, you can start adding other flavors. For example, add chopped garlic, or shallots or onions. You can also add fresh or dry herbs. Many classic dressing recipes call for mustard. I prefer dijon. Mustard is an emulsifier. If you use it, it helps the dressing to stay blended, and makes it creamier. For quick dressings for side salads, I often just use salt, pepper, mustard and a few pinches of either Italian or Provence blend dry herbs.

    I have used tahini instead of mustard to give the dressing a Mediterranean flair. If you want to take the dressing in an Asian direction, use rice wine vinegar and add ginger in place of, or in addition to the garlic. I have also dropped the garlic and mustard and used serrano peppers to make a spicy version. This kind of vinaigrette is a low stakes opportunity for experimentation. Just try whatever you like. You’re only making a small amount, so if you don’t like the result, just start over. I hope, by writing these posts, that I encourage people to just try new flavor combinations and gain confidence in the kitchen.

    Warm Vinaigrette

    A fun variation on the basic vinaigrette, and my current obsession, is warm vinaigrette. Spinach salad with warm bacon vinaigrette, is probably the most familiar of the warm vinaigrettes. A spinach salad is spinach, red onion, sliced mushrooms, hard boiled eggs and bacon. Make some bacon, and when done, let it drain on some paper towels. Toss spinach with the red onion and mushrooms, then crumble bacon over it. Add a sliced hard boiled egg. Spoon out a little of the bacon fat and add it to some red wine vinegar seasoned with salt, pepper and dijon mustard. Whisk and pour over the salad; toss and enjoy.

    Pan sauces are also close to warm vinaigrettes. The biggest difference is that you don’t reduce the sauce. Sometimes, instead of deglazing with wine, I use a vinegar to deglaze and serve it over a salad. This sort of dressing is great over grilled romaine or radicchio.

    Creamy Dressings

    If you like a creamy dressing, they are also easy to make. Creamy dressings usually use buttermilk, cream, mayonnaise, yogurt, sour cream or even cream. Sometimes, they use more than one. Blue cheese dressing over a wedge of iceberg lettuce is a classic. An easy blue cheese dressing combines blue cheese, mayonnaise, buttermilk, apple cider vinegar, salt, and lots of fresh ground black pepper. I start by putting some blue cheese in a bowl and mashing it with a fork.

    Then I add mayonnaise and buttermilk. I add salt and pepper, then thin it a bit with a little (like, ½ to 1 tsp) apple cider vinegar.

    Then I serve it over an iceberg lettuce wedge with a pan fried pork chop. If I had bacon, I would crumble a little over it.

    You could alter that basic recipe by using lemon juice instead of apple cider vinegar. Use sour cream or yogurt instead of (or in addition to) mayonnaise. Again, this is a canvas for experimentation. Make a creamy dressing thicker by adding more mayonnaise or sour cream, and you have a dip.

    So, here is that salad I made for fourth of July years ago. I lost the actual recipe years ago and I never measure when making it so all the quantities are estimates. Years later, this is still my go to dish for taking to potlucks.

    Dressing:
    2 -3 cloves of garlic chopped
    ½ tsp of salt
    ¼ tsp of freshly ground black pepper
    about ½ tsp of honey (I think the original used 1 tsp of white sugar).
    juice of one lemon
    ¼ cup neutral oil

    Combine first five ingredients, then pour in the oil in a thin stream while whisking. Then make the salad.

    9 cups of mixed salad greens – use both red and green lettuce – torn into bite sized pieces.
    3 cups of fresh basil leaves – torn into bite size pieces.
    ½ pint of cherry or grape tomatoes sliced in half.
    ¼ c shredded parmesan.
    1-2 T toasted pine nuts.

    Toss all with the dressing and serve.

  • Rye ask why?

    Heretay akingmay, rogfays aygay! -Plinus 55AD

    It was Gaius Plinus Secundus, who was of the opinion the only people that would ever eat rye, were people that were starving. Gaius was an authority during the medieval period due to his extensive writings on his observations of the natural world.  He is credited with over seven books during the first century AD (or CE if you are so inclined) on things such as grammar, Roman history, throwing the lance, and a biography of Pomponius Secundus.  He is best known for Natural History from where the above opinion is written.  He is known for his ability to string together previously unrelated concepts in a vernacular style easily interpreted by the masses, easily transcribed by medieval monasteries, and indeed can be considered one of the first to pen an encyclopedia.

    Unfortunately many of those concepts had more to do with what we now call mysticism, and most of his assertions are to put it bluntly—wrong.  Quite frankly Gaius may not have been as bright as he thought he was, given that he died while investigating the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius.  Though in fairness, the Romans were probably unfamiliar with the dangers of erupting volcanoes.  In all, he is probably better known by his anglicized name.

    This is not my review of Russian River’s Pliny the Elder.

    Why not?  I can’t find it, and quite frankly I need a way better excuse to go to California—and possibly find it.  Pliny probably did hate rye, so I will honor his memory by reviewing a rye pale ale.

    Rye is a species of grass similar to wheat and barley except that it grows in colder climates.  People first began eating rye bread around the Black and Caspian Seas, which is why it’s sometimes affiliated with Russian oligarchs.  Interestingly enough, it is planted in the fall, where it survives through the winter and harvested in June.  Rye is chewier, and has a more robust flavor than wheat or barley, and beverages made with it share this quality.

    I don’t know about anyone else here, but I for one happen to like rye whiskey and rye bread; naturally I liked this as well. Others might just be happy this is not an IPA.   Abita Bourbon Street Rye Pale Ale 4.1/5.

  • For the Glib who needs emotional support

    I’m not big on flying.

    The whole experience is just bothersome. I hate being on a plane. I hate that there are other passengers. I especially hate when families with children fly.

    No matter where I sit on the plane I’m always stuck next to the family with a toddler who is running up and down the aisles, a screaming baby, and a crackhead teenager who hasn’t showered since he hit puberty.

    Emotional support animals were also on my list of things I hate about flying, but that is about to change.

    American Airlines has new guidelines for emotional support animals. They now ban many animals, including chickens, ferrets, and anything with hooves (excluding miniature horses that are properly trained as service animals).

    But these guidelines say fuck all about honey badgers.

    I want to board a plane with my emotional support honey badger while I am rocking this t-shirt, and I will just sit there quietly as my honey badger savages any and every passenger and emotional support peacock that’s pissing me off.

    (I’ve had a frustrating week, can you tell?)

    In other news, I am having daydreams of a glib meetup where we are all rocking this shirt. Glibs Take Chicago, and we all flood out of Union Station wearing the honey badger shirt.

  • Up Your Coffee Game!

    You know, life is stressful and you need to unwind. Trips to a tropical island or a secluded cabin in the woods are great, but few of us can afford to go with any regularity. You know what is cheap and relaxing? No, not meth. Coffee! It is the one thing I do everyday to relax. I take a few minutes to brew an excellent cup and let the world melt away. Coffee, when consumed black, is low calorie and packed with antioxidants, which your body craves. So why not make those few minutes as enjoyable as possible? It’s time to take your coffee game to the next level, friend.

    So if you are still reading, I assume you drink coffee and if you drink coffee, odds are you are using a conventional coffee maker with drip method. Good news reader, I’m not going to tell you to throw your machine in the trash and go buy a $1000 wonder brewer. You can get more out of your existing brew method with some inexpensive changes. Coffee is mostly water, so it stands to reason you should use the best water available. Invest in a cheap water filter or use your fridge water dispenser if it has a built in filter, instead of using tap water.

    Next, upgrade your coffee filter to a reusable mesh filter instead. Not only will you reduce the amount of waste you produce, you will save money in the long run. Coffee beans are oily, and that oil carries a lot of character and flavor. Unfortunately, paper filters trap a significant amount of oil muting the flavor in the cup. Using a metal filter not only allows more flavor from the bean to the cup, you can compost or use the used coffee grounds for fertilizer without having to remove the paper filter. So with those two easy tweaks you can getter a better cup, without a lot of expense. What’s that? You want to know more…

    Want more flavor, but don’t want to toss your Mr. Radar, I mean Mr. Coffee? Okay, you’re ready for whole bean. I’m not shaming you for using ground coffee, it’s just as soon as the bean is ground at the factory it starts to lose flavor. Not only does the essence de cafe seep out, foreign flavors soak into ground coffee. Protect your coffee with a coffee vault. A coffee vault will keep your coffee fresh longer than the bag. So do yourself a favor, you’ve earned it, buy whole bean and grind it just before you brew.

    Obviously, you will need a method of grinding. If you are an 18th century cowboy, you can buy a hand grinder. For everyone else, I would recommend a conical burr grinder. I know some budgets are tight, but please do not buy a blade grinder. It will not give you a consistent grind and your coffee will suffer. Conical burr grinders provide precise and accurate grinds and are well worth the price difference. I will list some of the equipment I’ve tried at the end of the article with pros and cons. Now you can enjoy that fresh ground coffee smell and experiment with different grind/bean combos to find your tailored cup of Joe. You say you have a few bucks you held back from your pimp? Risky, but I salute your bravery.

    French Press is the best method getting the full flavor of the bean, because you can precisely control water temperature, grind, steep time and there are no flavor robbing paper filters. The process is deceptively simple. You place coarsely ground coffee in the carafe, and pour water just off boil (205F) and let it steep for 4 minutes, then press the plunger with wire mesh down slowly, then pour gently into your favorite mug.

    Any kettle will do for heating water, but I’ve recently switched to an electric kettle. It cuts boiling time down, and is safer because it shuts off automatically. But don’t feel like you need to run out and buy one if you already own a traditional kettle. French press is how I drink 95 percent of my coffee. If you buy a quality FP it will last you a lifetime and no filter expense.

    Another method that is equally simple, but allows less control is the Moka Pot, which gives you a cup of coffee similar to espresso. They are inexpensive and again require no filters. If you like strong, dark coffee this is the method for you. Plus you get to use those adorable little espresso cups. The grind is on the opposite end from FP. You want a very fine grind, as opposed to very coarse for FP.

    I can hear people screaming “What about AeroPress or Chemex pour over or cold brew?” To be honest I haven’t tried those methods, so cannot provide an informed opinion. If this article proves popular, I promise to buy and review those methods. If you are rolling in Koch dollars, there are some very expensive machines that make steamed milk and froth and I assume for the price, provide sexual gratifications. Unfortunately, for you the reader, but fortunate for my wife, I have no interest in anything other than black coffee, so haven’t dumped my 401K in a machine I could never hope to comprehend.

    But here are some items on which I’ve spent my hard earned dollars. I am not affiliated or paid by any of these companies and these opinions are solely my own. Prices from Amazon.

    So there you have it Glibs. Something for every budget and experience level to make your morning coffee a little more enjoyable.

    Bunn coffee maker with reservoir
    I don’t own this coffee maker anymore because I changed brew methods to French press. It was a fine coffee maker for high volume drinkers or for parties.
    Pro: Coffee brews quickly, multiple cups, precise temperature
    Con: Unless you use it frequently, the reservoir can become moldy and is difficult to clean. Also the weakness inherent to paper filter drip coffee.
    Price: $79.99

    Bodum Stainless Steel French Press
    My daily drinker. Nothing but love for this product.
    Pro: Bullet proof design, no glass to break. Keeps coffee warm. Comes in multiple sizes. Pretty enough to leave on counter
    Con: Longer prep time. “Muddy” coffee at the bottom of the cup.
    Price: $40.00

    Capresso Burr Grinder
    I’ve had this grinder longer than I can remember.
    Pro: Consistent grind, well made
    Con: Really for only small volumes, but that’s how I grind. Plastic hopper could break if dropped.
    Price: $99.00

    Moka Pot
    Made in Italy, you draw whatever conclusions you want.
    Pro: Inexpensive way to bring a little Italian variety into your kitchen
    Con: Needs to be cleaned and dried immediately. Can be tough to gauge when brew process is finished.
    Price: $34.95

    Hamilton Beach Electric Kettle
    I bought this when my stove top broke and I couldn’t use my traditional kettle.
    Pro: Cheap, makes hot water quickly, automatic shut off.
    Con: You don’t get the traditional kettle whistle to let you know it’s ready
    Price: $19.96

    Coffee Gator Stainless Steel Container
    My fresh roasted coffee goes straight into this guy.
    Pro: Keeps coffee fresh and provides attractive storage
    Con: It cost money, bags are free
    Price: $28.97

    Reusable Coffee Filter
    This will obviously be priced according to what brewer you use.
    Pro: Cheaper over long run, more complex coffee
    Con: Up front cost, more muddy cup of coffee
    Price: Around $15.00

    Keurig
    I own one of these and use it for parties. You don’t waste coffee and can provide a variety of choice, including tea.
    Pro: Flexible
    Con: Expensive machine and pods. More waste, less control over final product.
    Price: $65.00 and up

    For those who are really into coffee, you can roast your own. I didn’t put that into that in the article because I assume that would be the extreme minority of readers. Sweet Maria’s is the company I source my green coffee beans from and is an excellent resource for roasting.

    Whirly Pop
    I used this method with a propane cook stove for a few months, then the agitator broke. I would not recommend.
    Pro: Can really see/smell the roast process. Decent control of roast. Can do medium volume.
    Con: You need an external heat source and an outside area to roast.
    Price: $49.99

    Air Popper
    My first “roaster”. It does an okay job for me because I like lighter roast, but I drink too much coffee for this to keep up with my demands. If you like light roast coffee and aren’t a high volume drinker, it could be for you.
    Pro: Cheap, easy way to see if you like roasting.
    Com: Less control over the roast, hard to get dark roast, very small volume, must be used outside.
    Price: $20.00

    Behmor 1600 Plus
    My current roaster. I’m happy with this roaster. It fills that spot between complete noob and pro roaster. The next step up in drum roasters are like $1,100; more than I want to spend.
    Pro: Smoke suppression, can do up to a pound, more hands free, can roast dark
    Con: More expensive, takes up room, will set off smoke alarm in house
    Price: $369.00

  • A beer for a wine guy

    Two weeks ago I was presented with a challenge.

    I’m not one to back down so easily so I went ahead and sent the Old Man a bottle of beer that would suit his, shall we say, more refined palate.  This is my review of New Belgium Le Terrior 2016, from their Lips of Faith Series.

    The term “Beer Drinker” often brings up a different mental image than when one says, “Wine Drinker.”  I’m not going to speculate as to why those connotations exist, but I will discuss what they are.  I don’t blame the Old Man for wanting to be associated with the beer people, after all we’re a bit more fun.  Its what you drink when you go to a festival, or a ball game.  You toss a few back with your friends and then challenge each other to a drag race or a boxing match.

    In short, beer drinkers are often just fun to be around.  Case in point: 

    This is not to say that wine drinkers can’t be good people.  I assume some of them are, its just that their parties have a tendency to be a lot more…tame:

    “The hormones are really helping my beard come it.” “You know, I am standing right here, Jacob.” “I told you to stay focused, we need him to invest in our lesbian co-op grocery.” “Sorry about that.”

     

     

    I’m not trying to offend people here–I’m just explaining what we associate with the terms.  The Old Man has the unique ability to mingle with both crowds, but when it comes right down to it, he probably has a preference to the people he associates himself with.

    MS:  You’re doing to now? I’m at Lowe’s man…

    OMWC: I can wait until you’re home, there’s plenty of lawn left.  I know it’s early there, but Cinco de Mayo, achaver!

    MS: Alright. Serve at 55 in a wide bodied glass. I’ll have a few queries later

     

    MS: So…what did you think?

    OMWC:  Haven’t opened it yet. I’m going to do some migas later this afternoon and crack it with them, I think.  Unless you have yours open now and we can compare notes…

    MS:  I’m doing a little work at the moment.  I’ll have it for lunch.  In an hour or so. I need to take a pic of it.

     

    MS: Its, um….sour and woody.

     OMWC: It’s sour for sure. SP thinks it’s a lot more like a cider than a beer.

    MS: What glass did you use?

    OMWC:  Widemouth. I may try a wine glass to see if that changes it.

    MS: A balloon-shaped glass will probably change it a bit.  Partly why I went for a chalice.  The reason I picked this one, was an article I’ll link next week that said a sour ale should mimic the tartness of many wines.  Plus its barrel aged, like nearly all wines.

     

    MS:  Pepper and Peaches…?

    OMWC: This beer is not pepper and peaches. In a wine glass, I get more of the woodiness.

     

     

    OMWC:  This beer is actively hostile.

    MS:  Yes.  I hate it.  I’m sure of it

    OMWC:  OK, it’s not just me.

    This is Sour Ale.  This one in particular was aged in oak barrels–like many wines.  I sent this to the Old Man because sour ales are of course, sour, but many have a subtle fruitiness that counteracts the tartness.  Something that you often fine in sweeter varieties of wine.  IF you happen to like sour ales, this one is well done.  It was made in 2016 though, so finding it will not only be difficult, it will cost you.  I’m sure of it; I hate it.  New Belgium Le Terrior 2016: 1.5/5

    “Confess, don’t be boring! Confess, don’t be dull!”

    Ultimately, the Old Man is set in his ways, and as a another  wise man once said, you just can’t Torquemada anything.

     

    Finally, I want to plug the Glibertarians Spring Beer it Forward once more!  The beer I promised one lucky Glib is still up for grabs, so if you think you might want a well-made bock made in the mountains of Northern Arizona sent to your house, you only need to apply.  To apply, send an email to its proprietor, Nephilium, at his handle name at google mail and tell him you want to sign up.

     

     

  • Cinco de Drinko

    During the month long training leading up to my first deployment I learned something interesting:  the Iraqi insurgents were well-versed in American holidays.  The tactic was to lob mortars into the FOB (Forward Operating Base) during days off, when they assumed American personnel would not be expecting it. Great approach from a tactical standpoint, but the element of surprise wears off once you do it on every holiday for nearly a decade.

    Which brings me to the relevant story.

    My second deployment I arrived in June 2009.  The Air Force had rotations overlap for continuity that usually lasted about a week.  Looking around the CE yard, we could tell the previous rotation had an interesting time.

    Electrician 1:  “Yeah, they hit us last month over by the cable reels.  Didn’t damage anything.”

    Me:  “Really?  I was at this FOB last summer, it was super quiet.”

    Electrician 2:  “Yeah it was on the 5th.  They tried Presidents Day, MLK, New Years, Christmas—“

    Me:  “Wait, the 5th?  They hit you on Cinco de Drinko?”

     

    This is my review of Dos Equis.  Cue the most interesting marketing campaign in the world.

    What did you expect, an old man in a suit?

    I just want to get this out of the way:  as I am certain a number if you are well-aware, Cinco de Mayo is NOT Mexican Independence Day.  That is Diez y Seis de Septiembre (9/16/1810).

    So what is Cinco de Mayo, then?  First a bit of background.  The Mexican President at the time was Benito Juarez.  That’s the guy on the 20.  He’s actually somewhat interesting, but not in the same way as Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna.  I actually learned about both in 7th grade history.  By the time Juarez was elected Mexico was under substantial war debts.  First there was the War of Independence from Spain (ended 1810),  following that was the Texas Revolution (1835-1836), the Mexican-American War (1846-1848) and Mexico had its own civil war (1858-1861).  Juarez didn’t have much choice, given their economy at the time, but to default on foreign debt.

    In 1862 Britain, Spain and France demanded payment, and all sent troops to Mexico with the intent of collecting.  Evidently, leg breaking was an acceptable foreign policy at the time.

    Juarez was able to make a deal with Britain and Spain.  France, then under Napoleon III (not the short guy), had other plans.  The empire building type of plans…Which brings us to the Battle of Puebla.

    Nacho

    The French stormed Veracruz with 6000 soldiers and assumed a quick end to the war.  They marched north where the Mexican government exiled themselves, towards La Puebla de Los Angeles.  Under General Ignacio Zaragoza, a force of 2000 Mexicans attacked from the north side of the town.  The French, seeing early losses of 5 to 1, decided this was not the hill to die on, and retreated.

    While it wasn’t a strategic victory in any sense, it did become a rallying cry for the Mexican resistance.  The war itself did not take long and the ensuing occupation lasted six years.  Archduke Ferdinand Maximilian, the puppet ruler picked by Napoleon III to rule Mexico, was not widely recognized as a legitimate ruler by anybody in North America.  Following the American Civil War, the US officially recognized the Mexican Government under Juarez, which was the beginning of the end for the self-declared King of Mexico. He was captured and executed by firing squad.

    His bullet riddled shirt was put on display in full view of the public.

    Other than that, it’s really an excuse to drink Mexican beer and make tacos.  Here’s a good recipe.

    This is not my favorite Mexican beer, that is Negra Modelo, but there is nothing wrong with this:  Dos Equis 2.5/5.

  • Happy Independent Bookstore Day!

    Just a quick heads-up for anyone here who listens to audiobooks.

    Libro.fm is giving away free audiobooks TODAY ONLY.

    Go here to set up an account for free, no credit card or address info required.

  • Screendoor on a Submarine

    I was planning on writing an article with the specific intent of insulting people.  Why would I do that?  Because Polish jokes are funny.

    This is my review of Zyweic 1881 Porter.

     
    While funny, these jokes have a vicious history.  It began on September 1, 1939.  Do you know what else was significant about that day?  Much like the word, “assault rifle,” the Polish joke has its origins in Nazi propaganda.  During and after the invasion, the jokes were pushed with the intent of creating a stereotype that made the Poles look stupid.  To the point where Hitler himself made claims of Poland countering the Blitz with mounted cavalry and swords.  This was not a just wild claim, as Poland was overrun as quickly as it was precisely because of it’s outdated military.  The old adage of going to war with the army you have, rather than the one you want has merit.  This was all designed to minimize sympathy Europeans might have for the Poles once the Germans were through with them.  Nobody’s going to care, they’re just untermenschen, right?  Nowadays, Poland is part of NATO and those GROM guys look pretty serious.

    Knowing that, maybe the jokes are in poor taste.  So much so that it actually got Jimmy Kimmel into a bit of trouble when he began reviving some of these jokes in segments of his show.  I personally have no idea if he used them after people complained, because I don’t watch his show.  This link here says that he personally likes them so much that he was going to continue it.

    Since I know a fair number of you don’t care, I‘ll put a link here for an exhaustive list.

     

    So this beer is no joke.  It says porter on the label but it is definitely more stout like.  Not a super sweet chocolate stout or one that is adorned with dark fruit and peanut butter. It is nice, dry, and straightforward as 9.5% abv gets.  Perfect for day drinking. Zyweic 1881 Porter: 3.5/5