Happy Monday everyone. I hope everyone is working hard or hardly working! Whatever you can get away with this (American) Holiday weekend. I’m snowed-under with meetings as everyone frantically tries to clear their desk for a long and restful weekend.
If Joe Biden runs in 2020, I’m raising funds to just run 1 minute ads of shot after shot after shot of “bad touch” pictures with women looking uncomfortable.
Vox 2018 (or is it 2016?) If only the rules were different, the Democrat would have won! (Florida edition). “If we only assume this one variable changed…” in a complex system is junk.
Trump administration causing people to drink themselves to death!! You think I’m exaggerating, but… “The Trump Administration’s tax cut last year included an 18 percent break for in the federal tax on beer, wine and liquor”
Organized group causes terror scare in UK! Runners using white flour to mark route inspire police reaction.
NYT angry uncle-bot does not include a libertarian option. I’m triggered! Luckily, my only uncle with political opinions will be elsewhere.
It takes a real man to wear an animal print shirt and a different print tie! This is also in the running for highest energy song, lowest energy video. Turn the sound off for 20 seconds and try to figure out what the tune is… not what I would guess.
Sorry about the weekend folks, all of our great technicians were working on fixing all the issues our site had over the weekend. We tried yelling at it, we tried romancing it, we tried turning it off and on and nothing seemed to work. So we relaxed and allowed our website host to fix it and all got nicely hammered.
This should satisfy the Star Trek nerds for the day.
Birthday today? Congrats, you share it with 20th President of the US, James Garfield, Larry King, founder of the enemy of the people, Ted Turner, Calvin Klein, mediocre actress, Meg Ryan, talented actress, Jodie Foster, and nerd’s actress, Terry Farrell.
Hollywood actors pretend to be relevant. I mean seriously, the boycotting a whole state thing is beyond laughable. And what exactly do they think the Georgian government is going to do? Disobey their own laws and have a whole new election until the person they want to win, wins. The modern left lost the little remainder of their batshit minds.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. IT HAS BEEN A WEEK. DEMANDS FROM THE VORTEX, BRUTALS EVERYWHERE….AND THERE IS ONLY ONE ZARDOZ TO TRY TO DO EVERYTHING AT ONCE. ZARDOZ MAY HAVE TO ASK THE VORTEX’S COMPTROLLER IF WE CAN SPRING FOR A FEW MORE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS.
BUT YOU DID NOT COME HERE TO HEAR ZARDOZ SPEAK OF HIS WOES. YOU CAME FOR LINKS…WELL…THE LINKS AT LEAST SERVE AS AN EXCUSE TO GATHER AND CHAT, ANYWAYS.
THEREFOR, ZARDOZ BESTOWS UPON YOU, THE GIFT OF THE LINK. GO FORTH AND SNARK!
Happy last full (work) week of November. For some of you, government types especially, I figure this is the last full work week of the year. I’m not jealous, but sometimes I wish I was in that sort of cruise job. Anyhow, I got out of Dearborn as the atmosphere itself was solidifying. So I hope all my coworkers lived. Here are some links.
“SHE’S DEAD! WRAPPED IN PLASTIC!” Oh, Pete. Dear Pete.
Here’s your chance to buy the coffin used for Laura Palmer’s burial in Twin Peaks. I can’t imagine any use for it beyond Claus Von Bulow sex games or a coffee table that makes your Tinder hook-up run out screaming (or, perhaps worse, NOT run out screaming.)
And, no, I didn’t watch the remake, sequel, whatever you want to call it.
The strange case of a couple in New Jersey who raised $400,000 on GoFundMe for a homeless good Samaritan appears to be skidding into a surprise ending.
Following earlier legal turmoil, the couple reportedly turned themselves in to [sic] authorities on Wednesday and will face charges for allegedly conspiring with the man to make up a heartwarming story in order to crowdfund the fortune, according to newly reported court documents.
NBC Philadelphia obtained a copy of a complaint by Burlington County prosecutors that accuses Mark D’Amico and Kate McClure of conspiring with Johnny Bobbitt Jr. to deceive GoFundMe users into making donations. A source familiar with the case told NBC that D’Amico and McClure had already turned themselves in but did not confirm if Bobbitt had done the same.
According to the report, the three made up the story that inspired 14,000 contributors to raise $400,000 for Bobbitt. In October of 2017, McClure started a GoFundMe campaign that claimed she’d run out of gas on the interstate when Bobbitt, who was allegedly homeless, approached her car. She said that he told her to sit tight and proceeded to use his last $20 to get her fuel. Inspired by his kindness, she and her boyfriend, D’Amico, set out to raise $10,000, allegedly to get him on his feet. A flood of donations ensued as the story went viral and the couple made television appearances. It’s unclear exactly what parts of the story were allegedly made up, but NBC claims that the charges will include conspiracy and theft by deception.
The GoFundMe scam is a fine long con to add to the grifter playbook.
Following recent reports that two masked perpetrators were raising alarm in a town in West Virginia, police say they have reason to believe the troublemakers had just gotten wrecked.
The Milton Police Department reportedly received accounts of stumbling and disoriented raccoons at least twice in the last week, and locals worried the raccoons might have rabies. But those suspicions were wrong. The raccoons in question—including one who was identified by police as Dallas—had reportedly gotten wasted by eating some fermented crab apples.
“Ptl Scarberry made his first apprehension today, taking this masked bandit into custody with assistance [sic] of Sgt Collins and several neighborhood residents,” the Milton Police Department wrote in a Facebook post on Monday. “Ptl Withers caught one yesterday on Brickyard Ave with the help of the city street department. Today’s culprit was on Highland Ave and Mason Street and it was a community effort.”
Both raccoons have been safely collected and dropped off in the woods. The department noted that if you happen to stumble upon one of these drunk idiots, you should not approach them. Call the city’s non-emergency line and they’ll come to collect the bombed raccoon themselves.
You and your buddy are just out to have a good time, get a little tipsy and the fucking cops scoop you up and dump you out in the middle of nowhere and you’re like “Earl, where the hell are we?” and Earl’s all like, “How the hell am I supposed to know?” and you’re like, “What the hell was in those crab apples?” and Earl’s all like, “Beats me, dude, but I ain’t never drink again! Let’s try to figure out how to get home!” and then you both try not get eaten by a gotdamn cougar.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And to get the horrible elephant out of your head…
“Oh shit, they let the Old Man into the lab again!”
Well, both Sloopy and Banjos pulled up lame this morning, so despite me being stuck in a hotel room in Atlanta-the-Damned (where it has not stopped pouring rain since I got here on Monday morning), I feel a sense of responsibility that you good folks have a place to commiserate, snark, and post links to pix of silicone and Photoshopped electronic creatures. So please forgive me for being terse and the links lacking my usual commentary- I’m supposed to be working, and my boss will be here shortly to pick me up to take me to the plant. And because this has been a work-travel week, I haven’t been around much, so if any of this has been discussed to death, I plead ignorance. Likewise, I won’t be able to drop in and comment, but I’ll be back at full strength this weekend.
At least there’s a lot of news.
Pictured here with corpse
Starting with the obvious one, from the Department of Hoist By One’s Petard. And really, read the comments- the spin by the erstwhile “believe all women” crowd is predictably hilarious.
I can’t say that I mourn when Facebook gets kicked in the nuts, but it’s particularly amusing when they handed their critics the steel-toed boots. And I notice how weird it is that when someone criticizes Sheldon Adelson for his financial support for questionable Team Red causes, the media position it as good citizenship, but when George Soros is criticized for his equally questionable Team Blue antics, OMG IT’S ANTISEMITISM! Not that I’m cynical or anything.
they demand asylum from the oppressive forces of good taste
Remember all those people saying, “If Trump gets elected, I’m running to Canada!”? Apparently, that’s happening. Woops, not the same people. And predictably, not only are the actual numbers minuscule, Canada is tossing out the majority of “asylum” seekers, despite the social-signal tweets from Prime Minister Zoolander extending Canada’s welcome.
Heh, we just barely got over the massive PR campaign of a few weeks ago touting the HORRIBLE NEWS FROM SCIENTISTS that the Global Warming heat in the oceans was hugely more that anyone had thought. Front page on every newspaper and news website. For some reason, though, this latest story seems to be barely covered. I can’t imagine why not. On the one hand, it’s good that the paper’s authors acknowledged their simple and fundamental error. On the other hand, the fact that the paper’s referees didn’t catch this is a sad example of how the socio-political narrative has t-boned any actual scientific integrity in this field.
Despite the brevity of links today, you’re still getting stuck with Old Guy Music. My boss, who is also a music geek (albeit a much younger music geek) had wanted to go to Eddie’s Attic, a pretty famous music venue here in the Atlanta suburbs. He looked up who was playing there last night and despite it being someone neither of us knew, we figured, meh, it will still be fun to go there and have a few drinks after several rather grueling 12 hour workdays. Well surprise, surprise, the show was terrific. And here’s one of the songs he did. Intelligent pop-style, audience participation, high energy, a delightful transition from guitar to piano, it had it all. Standing O, and Gabe has a couple of new fans,
Hola a todos, Brett is in meetings all day, so he’s letting me take over for the afternoon.
California is still on fire, and a former nuclear research site got burned. Oops. Fires are currently burning across the mountain west with concentrated activity in Idaho/Utah/Nevada and just east of the Cascades, which is just crazy since everyone knows that California’s forestry management policies are causing the fires…across 8 states.
Floridian—who looks like every middle aged man I know who does local community theater—has a bunch of jihaddi preferred explosives “for homemade fireworks.” “‘The white crystal powder [TATP] has been referred to as ‘Mother of Satan’ by terrorist organizations who have used it in deadly attacks around the world,’ the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement.”
Speaking of Florida, our solar system is apparently about to get rocked by a “dark matter hurricane” but you probably won’t notice much unless you have severe axion sensitivity along with your EMF and gluten sensitivity.
Lotta folks are on losartan thanks to the Western Pattern Diet, if you are one of those people, you might want to have a chat with your GP about this recall. In related news, the USG is *begging* you to at least take the stairs instead of your off-road-capable mobility scooter. The big take away is that even brief activity counts toward the backstop goal of 150 minutes of activity per week (a week is 10080 minutes) as recommended by the AHA.
Can’t wait until The State gets hold of the poop-scanning technology to fine you for insufficient fiber consumption or whatever the dietary science fad of the month is.
