Is it Tuesday? Monday? Wednesday. I know it ain’t Friday. You know what else I know now — I won’t kick my wife out of bed for eating crackers. No, literally. She was sick last night and ate crackers in bed. And I decided I loved her more than I hate crumbs in bed. So there’s today’s love story.
SO I’m going to go with 80% chance Trump did say “shithole countries“. But given that Dick Durbin is the apparent source, and he’s a lying fuck, I can’t be certain.
In my ongoing needling of Californian Glibs, I offer this further proof of 3rd worldism.
Zoolander 3 is pretty fucking dark. Err. Wow, that might seem racist. I mean bleak and ugly.
Seal gets the #metoo treatment. Like Omar said, “when you come for the [queen], you best not miss.”
I am not surprised that Ed Sheeran is not at all original. Yes, yes, it happens to the best of them. Sometimes.
Hey look! Its about to start snowing in Houston. Which means very bad things for those of us who need to get on the road. So let’s jump into this as fast as we can, ok?
In the sports world, attention shifts to sunnier climes. That’s right, its Australian Open time! It doesn’t look like there were any upsets through the first couple of days. Unless anybody considers one hit wonder Kevin Anderson a favorite for anything. Oh yeah, and CoCo Vendeweigh went bananas over…bananas en route to being bounced out in the first round. I guess that’s an upset, although with her mental state, anything is possible.
Not much else happened anywhere. Dallas, Colorado, San Jose and the Islanders all won on the ice.Man United won to move into sole possession of second place in the EPL. FA Cup third round replays are on for the next couple of days. And the world waits, stunned, for the NFL conference championship games, still talking about that wild finish in Minnesoooooda.
Talk about irony! He might have made it had he gone back to the shithole lovely paradise he and most of his gang came from. But he stayed in America and is now a casualty in the horrible gun wars. Let’s see if the retarded gun-grabbers blame the NRA for this peach of a guy getting whacked.
This isn’t shithole culture. Its diversity, asshole!
Chicago is still hiring too many white cops apparently. The story goes on to say how the number of minorities hired is way lower than the percentage of them that sign up to take the exam. But it never touches on the percentage that actually pass the exam. And there’s also this:
Johnson says the stagnation in minority hiring is the result in part of candidates not following through after signing up for the police entrance exam.
But never fear! There’s this as well:
Johnson says many minority candidates are eliminated by the physical fitness and credit-check portions of the hiring process.
He says the department has “put things in place” to see that fewer minority candidates are eliminated from consideration.
So you see? Its easy to boost the number of minority candidates hired to be Chicago cops: you just have to lower the physical standards, hire more people that can’t pass the credit check and apparently lower the testing requirements. And all that just to become a part of what might be the most corrupt police force in America and become basically above the law.’
Its a holiday for my kids, which means it has been no picnic for my wife and I today. I hope you had an excellent day and your employer did not expect you to labor.
It looks like the Cranberries are out a vocalist unless she comes back a zombie, but at least she didn’t linger.
I’m going to guess that Florida Man had something to do with this: Fire on a boat.
Falcon Heavy is supposed to static fire again today after a launch pad problem last week caused them to scrub after a full fueling. I’ve got the lube and tissues ready. (TW: Autoplay)
Huh, an app that tracks fertility for contraception is being blamed for a rise in pregnancy. Who could have seen this would be less effective than chemical/mechanical contraception?
Here was an exchange several of us had on a group chat yesterday:
What the hell just happened?
JW: Looking bad for Minn. Now it’s hero or goat time
Swissy: Oh boy… Not much of a chance unless they can get out of bounds’
OMWC: zzzholy SHIT!
Swissy: DID I JUST SEE THAT
JW: HOLY SHIT
OMWC: HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Sloop: Holy fucking shit
Los Doyers: God dkan. Damn, even
Swissy: DAYUM.
That started at 6:55 and escalated quickly at 7:07. I mean…wow. I bet the Minnesodans on here are still drunk. I know the coonasses probably are, but that’s just because they’d be anyway. But…wow. What a finish.
Elsewhere, the Steelers forgot what the fuck they’re supposed to do on 4th and less than a yard. Way to hand the AFC to the Patriots again, Tomlin and Haley. That game is completely on you two dumbasses. Meanwhile, the Eagles advanced to play the Vikings after a defensive battle. And the aforementioned Cheatriots will host the Jags next week.
In college basketball, I just want to mention that the Buckeyes tore the asshole out of another decent opponent and might actually start getting a little bit of the respect they should have earned a couple weeks ago. Look for them to make a splash in the polls today.
And across the pond, Arsenhole’s woes continue, as do Everton’s (I couldn’t resist) while their crosstown rivals Liverpool put a stop to Man City’s run at a season without a loss by throttling the Citizens (except for the last 5 minutes).
No more sports. That update was enough for some of you. Not enough for many of you. And a painful reminder that activities exist where they keep score to a few of you. I apologize to each of the latter groups. And now that I’ve done so, let’s move on into…the links!
Idiot government worker causes millions of people to freak out. But instead of firing him, they give him another job. And now Hawaiian taxpayers get to pay two people instead of one to do the same job…which is basically to NOT push a button unless they’re really under attack.
Good enough for government work to keep your government job.
As the Global Warming, Climate Change, Climate Chaos, weather gets bad here, we will keep the conversations going. No links to ignore either! Post away, Glibs.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. YOU HAVE BEEN LIFTED FROM BRUTALITY – AND HAVE DONE WELL IN YOUR SNARK AND COMMENTING AT THE FILTH OF BRUTALS. THUS, YOU WILL BE GIVEN THE GIFT OF THE LINK EARLY TODAY. THE TABERNACLE HAS INFORMED ZARDOZ THAT SOME OF YOU MAY BE EXPERIENCING THE “ALBERTA CLIPPER” – THUS ZARDOZ WOULD PROVIDE YOU LINKS TO ENTERTAIN AND INFORM YOU WHILST TRAPPED INDOORS. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
A NEW GROUP OF BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS IN SYRIA? ZARDOZ IS PLEASED.
IS THIS WHAT BRUTALS CALL BACKSCRATCHING OR LOGROLLING OR SOME OTHER TERM? ZARDOZ BELIEVES THAT CLEANSING ALL POLITICAL BRUTALS IN THAT CITY WOULD SOLVE SUCH THINGS.
ZARDOZ BELIEVES THIS HEADLINE AND STORY ARE SUFFICIENTLY TABLOID FOR HIS CHOSEN ONES.
ZARDOZ IS TORN BY THIS STORY…OF COURSE, THE PENIS IS EVIL…SO THREATENING TO STAB ONE IS GOOD. BUT THE BRUTAL MAKING THE THREAT IS DEFINITELY NOT A CHOSEN ONE.
Sometimes the news comes fast and furious. And it’s almost always a delight to cynics like me. I mean, really, how do you do better than making an entire state shit its collective pants? Oh, I know, blame it on Trump!
Cindy Varner
Stupid f##king traitor presinfant trump for putting us all in this situation. People in Hilo were getting alerts on phone and radio, scaring the hell out of folks driving, trying to get home to see loved ones before it hit (12-15 minutes?). Craziness!!!
How brave and eloquent. And clever! Though the Trump presidency has as many shortcomings as the Obama administration, it’s certainly upped the derangement level in a most entertaining way. Never mind that there’s no federal involvement in Hawaii’s rather badly designed warning system, there’s OUTRAGE THAT MUST BE SHARED. SP predicted that the Team Blue idiots would exhaust themselves by now, ping-ponging from one outrage to another on a daily basis, but I think she may have underestimated the Power of Derp. Interestingly enough, the wizards who put this warning system in place have responded by now requiring two different signoffs before an alert can be issued. Which of course will, ahh, somewhat negate the value (such as it is) of a fast response system. My take: You get that alert…what’s your first thought? Do you think there is an actual nuclear attack on the US or do you think some government idiot fucked up?
“I think a lot of serious conservatives will realize that [this is Roy Moore being replayed] and reject his candidacy.”
Where do I find these “serious conservatives”? I thought they were extinct? They certainly don’t seem to be voting much in Team Red primaries.
An unnecessary revival of an unnecessary remake is about to pollute the cableworld. Critical mass of smug from a third-rate scientist who stopped doing science decades ago may cause brain hazards in the IFSL crowd (I should mention this wonderful takedown of IFSL and NdGT). But what the fuck would I know about it? Anecdote: I was at a party a few weeks ago and a group of arts-types were talking about how amazingly wonderful and brilliant Tyson was. Two mistakes then followed: they asked my opinion of him, “…since you’re a scientist. Isn’t he brilliant and amazing?” Mistake Two: I answered honestly, “He’s never let his bigotry and lack of knowledge stand in the way of his role as a public ‘intellectual.’ The guy couldn’t even do a basic freshman physics calculation but still felt it was important to tell the world his incorrect conclusions about deflated footballs.” The uncomfortable silence that followed was uncomfortable. CP Snow, cleanup needed on Aisle 8!
Don’t you just hate it when someone with tits that spectacular and a long track record of terrific work feels that it’s important to show the world that she’s as dumb as a post?
OK, Old Man Music, in this case another regional band (in this case, from Buffalo) that should have, in a just world, achieved widespread fame and fortune. Give it a listen, they were terrific. I met their vocalist/guitarist/harp player in Austin where he was doing some gigs at the Elephant Room (one of my favorite clubs there), or I would have never heard of this great group.
STEVE SMITH HAVING BIT OF TROUBLE SLEEPING LATELY. NOT SURE WHY. HAS BRAND NEW PILE OF LEAVES TO SLEEP ON, IN CAVE. WORK NO TROUBLE – WELL OVER MONTHLY RAPE TARGETS. SO STEVE SMITH APPRECIATE FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE GIVE IDEAS HOW STEVE SMITH GET SLEEP. BEING AWAKE SO MUCH GIVE STEVE SMITH TIME TO GIVE FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE LINKS…SO THAT GOOD.
THIS NOT WHAT STEVE SMITH CONSIDER WORTHY PROTEST…BUT DOES GIVE STEVE SMITH GOOD LAUGH.
THIS ALSO NOT WAY TO PROTEST. YOU MAKE SELVES LOOK WORSE THAN SILLY AD.
CELEBRITY PEOPLE THEY WANT IN THREESOMES? STEVE SMITH GO MORE FOR EIGHTSOMES. SOMETIMES NINESOMES. DEPENDS HOW MANY PEOPLE IN CABIN OR RV.
COUSIN SEA SMITH SEND FILM CLIP OF MAJESTIC SEA FLAP FLAP GET AWAY FROM SHARK.
There’s only one thing that makes the shithole we call “Twitter” worthwhile, and that’s Thoughts of Dog. It’s got all the Founders greeting one another with a hearty, “gooob morning frens!” and humping each other’s legs at get-togethers. The account’s genius creator has mostly kept apolitical, but there’s a bit of edging in that direction now and then, which I fervently hope stops. Leave the politics to morons like us, please.
OK, I’ll admit to being amused at this exchange between Somalis and Ethiopians predating the latest round of ginned-up outrage by several months. I am also delighted that the stupid and tired “But Somalia!” rejoinder to any hint of the idea of Americans having the liberty promised in the constitution may now be forced into retirement.
When I was a grad student, I spent long hours in a lab running experiments, then more long hours scrawling research papers about things like quantum mechanics and macromolecules and transition metal interactions so I could eventually get that union card which said “Ph.D.” I really could have done much easier things for the same result. Man, am I a sucker! That is some impressive gibberish.
OK, obligatory Old Guy Music. It’s a prog rock band that was weirdly a cult fetish only in Baltimore and Pittsburgh. Their fans are… avid. This song was from my college days when you’d see them at Painter’s Mill (before it burned down). You can hear how it anticipated a lot of other bands (this song was released shortly before Bohemian Rhapsody, for example), with lots of interesting tempos, key shifts, and complex arrangements, not to mention virtuoso playing. They’re still around and still kicking ass, not that I’m likely to be able to see them here in the Democratic People’s Republic of Illinois.
@#$% someone decided the very end of Friday would be a good time to schedule some vendors to come in and tap dance for us…”Buy our services, and you will ascend straight into PARADISE!” Ah…no. Waiting for that, I did have time to prepare some links..So I will try not to narrow my gaze at them the whole time. As for you lot…since I won’t be around to read the comments, I will just give you all a nice general *NARROWS GAZE* in advance.
Are we sure this wasn’t a SEA SMITH incident? Eh, probably not, as there wasn’t any rape reported. Maybe he was just having an off day?
You know who else was an elected leader who looked to the East?
Sit down, everyone. I have a shocking story about things not really being all above board…in the Chicago Police Department!!!! DUN DUN DUHHHHH!!!!!!!! *cue gasping and fainting*
Who among us hasn’t shot off a couple of fireworks…into traffic. While drunk.
You enjoy and snark away, while I try not to strangle any co-workers or vendors.
Oh…one more thing. All of you missed it this morning. Sloopy put this up:
What am I?
None of you guessed right (and he was willing to lead you on). The Swastika isn’t meant for viewers on the outside – it is a Nazi hackenkreutz…for the one INSIDE the can! It belonged to trshmnstr’s evil twin.
SO I’m going to go with 80% chance Trump did say “shithole countries“. But given that Dick Durbin is the apparent source, and he’s a lying fuck, I can’t be certain.
