Category: Daily Links

STEVE SMITH NOT AT PEACE NOW. YESTERDAY, HIM TELL YOU ABOUT TEA CEREMONY AND HOW HAPPY WAS. NOW, ANGRY! WHEN STEVE SMITH GO TO ORDER MORE TEA, SEE THIS:

AND WHAT WITH “WENDIGO TEA” NAME? STEVE SMITH KNOW WENDIGO – HIM HATE TEA. STRICTLY COFFEE (TIM HORTON’S) FOR WENDIGO!

JUST WHEN STEVE SMITH CALM DOWN, HIM SEE THIS.

Now you’ll have the device to really mess with Bigfoot and you’ll have a scare tactic that will frighten your friends like never before!

OH, STEVE SMITH COME WHEN BLOW WHISTLE….AND RAPE WHISTLER! HOW YOU LIKE THAT? IT NOT KICKSTARTER, IT RAPESTARTER!

STEVE SMITH GOOD “FOREST LAWYER” (SHOULD SEE STEVE SMITH MAKE “MOTION”) BUT HAVE TO LOOK UP IP LAWYER. WONDER IF CAN GET OUTSIDE LAWYER AFTER RAPE LAST ONE? BUT THIS NOT FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE’S PROBLEM. SO STEVE SMITH GIVE YOU LINKS.

1. MAYBE STEVE SMITH GO TRY THIS? PROBABLY BREAK THEM ALL.
2. THAT SOME FINE POLICE WORK, SAY STEVE SMITH!
3. STEVE SMITH SEE JAW-JAW BETTER THAN WAR-WAR.
4. STEVE SMITH CRY FOR OPEC…NOT.

Sorry for my absence over the past week- I was traveling to one of the garden spots my work takes me, in this case the prairies of Kansas. Not like anything important happened anyway.

Let’s see what’s in the news today… oh yes, a “government shutdown” wherein a tiny portion of Leviathan gets what will amount to a free vacation, accompanied by the usual wailing and gnashing of teeth while the rest of the world sees no actual difference. As opposed to 2013’s “shutdown” where Team Red and Team Blue both demonstrated a hilariously transparent hypocrisy, this time around, Team Blue and Team Red are demonstrating a hilariously transparent hypocrisy. See, it’s totally different. Totally. Just like Lokai and Bele. I’d be happy about it except for already knowing the ending- the government will end up mulcting even more money from us tax cattle.

The guy who assaulted Rand Paul will apparently plead guilty. OK, dull story, but what’s really fun is the delightfully unhinged comments, centering around the latest leftist conspiracy theory: the assault was because of a breakup in a gay love triangle between the mugger, Paul, and Mrs. Paul (insert fish stick joke here).

I’m no fan of the Patriots, but I have a grudging admiration for Bill Belichik. Not just for the wonderful contempt he has for the press, but his brilliant manipulation of them. The latest mind game is yet another gem.

Sometimes I think, “I just love living in a world like this.”

“Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!” “That trick never works.” “This time, for sure!”

There are two things today that make me wonder, “Why the fuck is this even news???” One is this week’s outrage that some college chick that no-one has ever heard of at a fourth rank school made a stupid video of herself saying stupid things that got her expelled. The other is this. BE SCARED!!!!!

OK, you know what’s coming now. Old Guy music. But with a twist: the song is delightful, Nat King Cole’s band is great, but the video… The Groove Tube was just a wonderful, wonderful movie, which gave rise to a million imitators, including the original Saturday Night Live. Ken Shapiro, an absolutely unappreciated genius, died about two months ago. I hope that one day, he’ll achieve the fame he never got in life.

 

STEVE SMITH ENJOY LIFE RIGHT NOW. AFTER RAPE ENTIRE BUS OF JAPANESE TOURISTS, HE FIND BOOK ON TEA CEREMONY. STEVE SMITH TRY CEREMONY, FIND IT RELAXING. STEVE SMITH WONDER IF HE FIND MONSUKE THAT FIT? ALSO, IT GOOD THING STEVE SMITH CAN GET FRESH SUSHI NEARBY.

 

NOW STEVE SMITH GIVE YOU FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE SOME LINKS TO ENJOY:

• STEVE SMITH NOT KNOW JAPAN OUTSOURCE SWORD MAKING?!
• STEVE SMITH CONFUSED. THOUGHT TRUMP WAS RUSSIA MEAT PUPPET? NOW STEVE SMITH DOUBT.
• WORST JOB IN WORLD? STEVE SMITH THINK HE FIND IT – “RUSSIAN HUMAN RIGHTS WORKER IN CHECHNYA”.
• STEVE SMITH SAY HA HA.

Okay, well, I’m just about well enough to start drinking my way through Friday afternoon, although there’s a good chance my kids will be drawing on my face in permanent marker by 8:00tonight. Hopefully, not dicks unless my wife is particularly annoyed with me and gets them started.

This thing that happens regularly since the Clinton administration is All Trump’s Fault! Meh. If only the government were to actually shut down.

Mattis unveils new Russia and China strategy. Will roundhouse kick them to space if they don’t shape up.

CNBC finds the one TSA crew in the world doing their job.

The latest on the Las Vegas mass murder. It looks to me like a Whitman style attack where a smart guy got sick in the head and figured out a good way to kill a lot of people — the same way, get a high spot that is hard to get to in a target-dense environment and shoot a lot of rounds.

Dicks on face or not, I think I’ll just stay here and drink.

Tennis going on down under and the top seeds are all still cruising. On the ice, the Bruins, Devils, Flyers, Blue Jackets, Blues,  Predators, Avalanche, Penguins, Rangers and Las Vegas won. But the big NHL news was off the ice, as the league are taking the unawake AF position of standing by Kid Rock amid all the backlash of him playing at the All Star Game even though he’s been a supporter of President Trump and has displayed the confederate flag at his concerts and written misogynistic lyrics.  Jeez, I’d hate to see what the backlash over at ESPN would be if the NBA chose, saaaaaay, Jay Z to perform. Or maybe to own a sizable share of a team.  LOL, just kidding. Everybody knows that opening “an escort service for all the right reasons” is way worse than“You know I, thug em’, fuck em’, love em’, leave em’, cause’ I don’t fuckin’ need em.” Way to be stunning and brave, ESPN.

Does that count as a rant? It might count as a rant.  Not too sure, but let’s count it as my rant for the morning and move into…the links!

The Pope wraps up his visit to Chile by running a 105 fever, doing six shots of everclear, taking a couple hits of acid and then giving a speech. I mean, what other explanation can there be for saying that?

You know who else treated their pets well relative to children in their charge? Yeah. You know.

I know he’s campaigning, but does this guy know who he’s dealing with? I mean…that’s a bold statement coming from the man wanting to head a country whose entire economy is dependent on the nation whose executive branch, not to mention immigration policy, is led by the person he plans to get into a public feud with.  I wish him the best of luck.

This is what a shitshow looks like:

Govt official and head of non-profit regularly meet alone. Govt official secures publicly-funded loan to non-profit even though they shouldn’t have qualified for it and over the objection of other government officials (who were not meeting the head of the non-profit in private).

Other govt official: hey, your group needs to pay us the money it owes.

Non-profit head: one of your people sexually harassed me! But I just never mentioned it until now.

Other govt official: Fuck you, pay me.

Yet another govt official: We need to actually take a look at the creepy fuck who pissed taxpayer money away to a chick he was probably boning on the side.

Welcome top Bay Area Political Science 101. Hell, or just ask Kamala Harris. She can explain that this is how things work up there.

Looks like Newsweek might have some splainin’ to do. I’m thankful it was the Manhattan DA and not the feds. Anyway, maybe all us Glibs can pool our resources and buy the place for a song when this is over with.

Hey look, a Chicago politician weighing how a decision will effect her political future before going public with it. Not surprising at all. What is surprising is that she bothered to charge the murderous bastard at all.. But the worst part of the story is this:

While City Hall paid more than $500 million in settlements and legal expenses over allegations of abuses by police officers in recent years, Alvarez’s office rarely prosecuted them, records showed.

Now that’s the Chicago way!

You think things are tense enough in the world?  Kashmir says “Hold my beer.”

I’ve got something for ya, darlin’!

Good luck out there today and through the weekend. Make the best of it!

Well, my body is no longer attempting to fire my guts out my asshole every 10 minutes. So I’ve got that going for me. I still feel like hammered shit, but I won’t let that stop me.

Drag is a labor issue. (H/T SF, now you know how he gets his material)

That sonofabitch Trump wants to let trans-people die untreated if they don’t have the right religious views!

Let’s play a game: Venezuela or Whole Foods.

Brooklyn brings shower bus to homeless masses.

I’m so out of it, this finally made sense to me.

Yeah, I know its a shock that I dragged my ass out of bed today…like every other weekday with the exception of a few, to do the links.  My wife sure was shocked too.

::rolls eyes::

Anyhoo, the Aussie Open is underway, and I’m gonna focus much of my sports attention there.  Why?  Maybe because its good to see people outside in beautiful weather playing a game.  The Men’s draw is progressing as planned for the top players, with Nadal and Djoker other advancing, and Federer looking strong in his match, up 2 sets to 0 as I write this.  On the Ladies side, Sharapova has advanced and will face off in the third round against the top seed, Simona Halep. Should be interesting to see how Sharapova does with the potentially high pollen count. You know, what with her severe asthma she apparently suffered from for several years.

In mens hoops, Ohio State continued their torrid pace in conference play, although this time they had to hang on after a late Northwestern charge too win their seventh conference game to start the season, which a rookie coach at a Big Ten school hasn’t done in nearly 100 years.

On the ice (and I mean in hockey stadiums, not the back yards and city streets of almost every state in the nation), the Bruins topped les Canadiens and the Mighty Ducks dropped the Penguins. Those were the only games played.

That’s it for sports.  And now…the links!

California government: Christ, what a bunch of assholes.

The largest, and most liberal at least when I was there, newspaper in Puerto Rico has a pretty hot take published on the problems the island has faces after Hurricane Maria. My Struggle in getting through it had less to do with the subject matter than the language barrier. But I putsched through until the end.

It would appear that there is nothing left to cut in the British government, and things are actually so good they’re putting together new, more wasteful ministries. Seriously. What’s next, the Ministry of Dreary Weather?

Remember the Las Vegas massacre where 58 people were killed and news or discussion about the investigation simply vanished into thin air? Well now the idea is being floated that others could be charged. Although the article is short on any new information, which seems strange seeing as the dude killed 58 people and injured hundreds more and the news media has exerted less effort on the story than they did a winter storm. I’m sorry, but the whole thing stinks like rotted fish left out on a summer day.

It looks like the federal government, who has sole authority over immigration laws, and the state of California, who considers itself a sanctuary state, are about to have a showdown. I’ll get the free-range, vegan, non-GMO popcorn.

I’m pretty sure I’ve posted stories about how dysfunctional and corrupt the brass running the Chicago Public Schools system are. But just in case you missed it, here’s the latest.

Hey dummy, don’t you read the news out of New York City? You don’t solicit prostitutes when you’re a cop. That results in an arrest. You’re supposed to just pull women over while in duty and then have sex with them, claiming later that it wasn’t under duress.  That way you get your whoring done and you don’t even have to pay.

That’s all for the links. Now enjoy a little music. Feel free to skip ahead :50 if you don’t want the weirdness.

Enjoy the thawing process, friends. I know I will.

Time to carry on those conversations that started earlier, and unload all those links you have been saving up…. HAHAHAHA! OK, who am I kidding. You already did that in the other posts. But feel free to dump more in here.

 

 

Plague, Ague, Catarrh, Dropsy, Bloody Flux, Grippe and other ills have laid waste to Brett (and various other Glibs Founders). But the Links must be delivered to the waiting masses….OK, the waiting hundreds. Dozens? Right. Anyway… here are yer Links.

• A new movement arises! The Girthers! They have an esteemed leader who is brave enough to diagnose from afar! (TW: CNN)
• Scienticians are sciencing the shit out of a shot! Faster, science faster!
• Socialism’s success story continues. Why won’t the world emulate this?!
• Speaking of disease…and socialism.
• Sweden is…alarmed.

I am off to put on a precautionary cataplasm and find my flask of elemental mercury….and the laudanum.

With most of Houston shut down due to freakishly cold weather pussyitis, Sloopy decided to get some extra sleep leaving me to provide you with the links.  To be fair, everyone drives like an asshole in Houston  when there isn’t ice on the road.  I have been rear-ended twice in a span of less than two months.

And now…for the links!

 

• Clever man attempts to get around airline fees.

 

• Lewinsky Scandal turns 20.

 

• Kentucky Man arrested for showing up to work intoxicated.

 

• Trump receives perfect score on cognitive assessment test during his annual physical.

 

• Meteoroid over Michigan, which would make for a decent band name.

 

Here’s a song my daughters insist on listening to every time we get into a car.

 

Ya’ll enjoy the rest of your day, I’m going to curl up in my bed and refuse to come out until the temperature is back above 30.