Category: Daily Links

This has been one hell of a long week, I ain’t gonna lie. Some ups, some downs and some shit gone sideways too. But we’ve finally reached the end of it. Together. And the Super Bowl isn’t going to Boston!

There’s some olympics stuff going on. I heard a little bit in the background last night as I was getting some work done. Some dude was going berserk over a dude skiing moguls. And while skiing them is a hell of a task, I couldn’t figure out the scoring so I turned the volume down and zoned back out.  I mean, life is so much easier when things are scored by who is faster, goes higher or scores more points (by an objective measure like putting the ball in a basket or a puck in a net or touching a plate). I don’t deny that people competing in sports that are judged rather than scored, and there is a difference, are fine athletes. I just have a hard time getting as excited when I think it can easily be manipulated…as every single judged olympic sport seems to have been at one time or another. And I know referees can manipulate games, but the chances of that are much lower than a few judges scoring one particular person a quarter point better than they should in every dive, cumulatively impacting the event.

But that rant is for another day. Even though it was almost Shultz-like in length. So let’s get some scores, shall we? Dickie V, the most reviled man in college basketball by a mile in my opinion, is probably weeping this morning after his beloved Dookies fell to their rival Tar Heels.  Suck it, you one-eyed bastard.  UCLA took down Arizona. Gonzaga and St Mary’s rolled to wins, as did Clemson. And on the ice, your winners were Buffalo, Calgary, Philly, Ottawa, Tampa Bay, St Louis, Dallas, Phoenix (a surprise whenever it happens), and Army.  Well done guys!

That’s it for sports. Now…the links!

Giving a speech on the merits of the #metoo movement, I yield the floor to Assemblywoman Grabby McGropeyhands.  Awk-ward!!!!!!

Well congratulations Rose McGowan and Harvey Weinstein. Your little war of words can finally claim its first victim. And while I believe in self-ownership and personal responsibility, I do think these two assholes owe her family an apology for using her as a tool to fight each other with.

Oh CNN, never change. I remember you decrying Rand Paul’s actions years ago when decrying deficit spending. Now you’re on his side?  And while I’m point out hypocrisy, I need to give a nod to the idiots in the GOP who finally have a chance to pare down the size of our leviathan government on the heels of great employment news and tax breaks putting a lot of money in more Americans pockets.  You dumbasses shit the bed again and the sooner you’re all expelled and more Paul-ites (and Massie-ites and Amash-potatoes) join the party, we can pull our country back from the bring of fiscal ruin.

Shut the fuck up, Elon Musk! Your actions the past week are almost making you likable, and now you call out the UAW? Stop it! Also, you’re never gonna reach production goals with the Model 3, so none of what you wrote really matters.

You want to know how a stranger ends up getting beaten to within an inch of his life? Try this with my kid instead of this guy’s. Seriously, I would go fucking apeshit if this were my child.

And just in case you weren’t hip to the current hate symbols being used out there, the ADL has compiled a list of them for you to identify. 1. The Pepe as a hate symbol thing is absurd. 2. I know Coors sucks, but come on! And 3. I think the Michigan State Spartans deserve a little credit for the good they occasionally do (like beat TTUN two of the three years Harbaugh has been in Ann Arbor).

Anyway, read it for a few laughs and to see some actual hate symbols, because some of them are legit, even if the number of people that would display or use them in America is incredibly small.

It doesn’t tie in to any of the links. I just really wanted to hear this song this morning and to share it with you.

Go finish the week strong, friends.  I’m gonna work like a dog again for half a day then try to play golf.

I hope everyone’s day is going well. I’m killing it here today as both my children are still at school as of this writing. Also, it is the end of my penultimate day at this job. I may be a little hard to find in the afternoon for the next several weeks as I negotiate with the new masters. I’ll be doing tech stuff that will take me up to Dearborn about once a month. Should be a fun couple of years. Also, I will not be parenting my children alone this weekend as my wife’s step-father has seen a rapid improvement and they don’t need her help. Everything’s coming up Brett. I should buy a lottery ticket.

If you saw The Shape of Water and wondered exactly how the plumbing fit together, good news. This sex toy maker has you covered. h/t SugarFree (to nobody’s surprise)

Florida Man goes for live action GTA police cruiser raid, gets caught.

Wow, this Russia-probe is boomeranging back about as hard as the #metoo thing. Trump is the luckiest guy in the world. Nobody would believe this shit if it were the plot of a book.

German frigate fails sea trials. You know who else…

In honor of the Eagles, I was gonna play the Eagles, but I don’t really like the Eagles, so… we’ll do this instead.

National Signing Day was yesterday, and as much as ESPN tried to hype up their beloved SEC, only one of the top seven teams were from there. And maybe its just me, but I sure do seem to remember a lot of those 5-start ratings of Georgia signees being 4-stars a couple months ago.  I’m amazed at how much better those guys got once they gave their verbal to Georgia.  Whatever, I couldn’t possibly care less. Ohio State reloaded at all the positions they needed, they kept their Defensive Coordinator and they haven’t lost to TTUN in more than six years. They should walk away feeling happy as a pig in shit.

Speaking of Ohio State being happy, holy shit, did any of you catch that game with (#3) Purdue last night? Talk about guts. Don’t believe me…have a look for yourself by scrolling down to the game tracker and win probability chart.  I had all but given up with about 10 minutes left, but decided to hang in there and see what happened. Let’s just say I was pleasantly surprised. No way does last year’s team finish games like that. Holtmann has to be seriously considered for coach of the year.  Oh, and elsewhere, top-ranked Villanova also fell. Virginia came back to beat FSU. Texas Tech rolled. aTm took down Auburn. UNLV took down Nevada. And Miami was better than Wake Forest.

On the ice, just three games. Toronto took down the Nashville Predators. The Bruins throttled the Rangers in an Original Six matchup. And the Kings trumped the Oilers.

Olympics start today, I think. Who knows. If I see scores tomorrow morning, I’ll update them.  Maybe. Hell, I don’t know. Tune in then to find out.  But until then, enjoy this edition of…the links!

A teacher imprisoned for a consensual relationship with a pair of students is fighting back. Good for her.  Its about time that law went the way of the dodo. It violates her equal protection and diminishes the agency  of the adult students, or those who have reached the age of consent, in her state.  Let’s hope these laws are struck down across the country, although the occasional “hot teacher mugshot” will be sadly missed around these parts.

Remember when Obama said he hadn’t asked for, nor would ever ask for any information related to the Hillary Clinton illegal-email-server-with-classified-information-on-it-in-her-basement-and-secret-addresses-to-hide-it-from-FOIA-requests scandal? Yeah, so do I. Well, texts back and forth between two of the investigators who were sleeping with each other tell a different story. And it looks like Comey is gonna get a nice little invitation back to Capitol Hill to explain if he was quibbling when he said he had only talked to Obama three times while running the FBI, and was really giving them updates on the investigation throughout.

You guys like the occasional piece of good news, right?  Well try this on for size: its this kind of story that renews my faith in humanity. Seriously, it’ll choke you up.

We’ve talked plenty about the two people who bought a private street in San Francisco but were forced to give it back after the wealthy denizens of the area forced them to and the interim mayor called them “bottom-feeding pirates”. Yeah, its really their fault for playing by the rules your stupid city set up and the HOA in charge of the place never paid property taxes on.  Guess we know who butters his bread.

Piece of human garbage George Soros is at it again. Maybe someday he’ll take his rightful place in hell rather than trying to undermine freedom across the globe to enrich himself.  Hey, maybe he’ll see some of the Nazis there that he helped round up other Jews so long ago.

Small-government nonprofit Illinois Policy Institute appears to have been run by a con man. That’s just great. I can only imagine the headlines: small government advocates are all just trying to enrich themselves. Just look at the head of the Illinois Policy Institute! Thanks a lot, asshole.

Remember when Vice was a cool place to get news? Remember when they had takes worth reading and/or watching?  Those days appear to be long gone. Look for them to go the way of Newsweek in the very near future as investors bail out. I guess there is only so much room out there for Neo-progressive hot takes. Don’t believe me? Look at their main page.

People tired of getting loads of free shit from Amazon.  Hey, forward them to me! I don’t even care if some yahoo in China is doing it to write reviews of their own stuff.  I’ll find a use for it.

Here’s a little advice to those people above.

Good luck out there, friends!

Hey, guys, I’m sure this will get us labeled as a white supremacist group, but I didn’t want the URL to be wednesday-afternoon-links-44 and I’m out of good ideas. Which is pretty much why I do links instead of original content. Sloopy at least has Teh Sprotzball to fall back on in the morning. Although now that football is over, I can start focusing on spring training. And talking trash to Rangers and Dodgers fans. Suck it! One baseball related link — it seems that players and owners have a different idea of what free agents are worth. The way that baseball players are valued now, ageing “almost HOFers” just aren’t going to get the money they want unless a team really needs their particular skill to make a deep run. Look for a lot more players to find their salaries plummet as the new valuations make it all the way through the market. And now… the links!

I guess landing two boosters on twin pads is easy, but making the correct burn to get to Mars is hard. My thinking based on the tweet and map is that they just burned all the fuel in the tank to see how far they could push the mass they had. Pillory me as a fanboi if you must

Black Lives Matter leader* fatally shot in New Orleans. *As I understand it there is no leadership or structure per se, but this guy was prominent in several actions.

You’ll be shocked to find out that the “bipartisan deal” to a 2 year budget agreement “adds billions to spending”. Fuck. Pull me up a chair and draw me a Glenn Beck chart. Who coulda seen that coming?

Joe Biden — Joe Trans-Am Biden! — would even advise Trump not to answer questions to the special counsel. Unless she was young and it gave him a chance to put his hands on her.

This guy needs to start wintering in FL. h/t Pope Jimbo

Speaking of Rocket Man…

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SugarFree brings you breaking news:

“You had one motherfucking job!” the hat screamed.

“I know, I know,” the hair moaned.

“One job! Hold the fuck on! That’s all you had to do!”

“Look, I feel bad enough as is, so just lay the fuck off me.”

Its the middle of the week and the Patriots are still talking about the game.  Oh, I think I have a pic of one.

I’m just kidding. That really was an entertaining game.  And the best moment was the last moment. Expect the Patriots to be back next year, as their offensive genius of a coordinator decided to stay rather than become the Colts head coach.  And they’re gonna get a new DC, possibly Greg Schiano (late the DC at Ohio State after maturing quite a bit following his humbling stint as an NFL head coach), who can’t possibly do a worse job of game prep than Patricia for the biggest game of the year. We shall see.

Plenty of games in college ball last night.  Michigan State came back and beat Iowa (who choked). Xavier took down Butler. Cincy took apart UCF. Kansas bounced back and topped TCU. Tennessee beat UK, who simply has not gelled as a team yet this year. Northwestern beat TTUN. And Wichita State rolled to a 20 point win over Memphis. Buckeyes face off against Purdue tonight in a game I’m not really looking forward to.

Eleven games on the ice last night.  Ducks beat the Sabres. Flyers top the Hurricanes. Senators over the Devils. Panthers beat the Canucks. Jets flew past the Coyotes. The Avalanche overwhelmed the Sharks. The Flames beat the Blackhawks. The MINNESODA WIIIIIIIIIILD put up 6 and gave St Louis the Blues. The Bruins beat the Red Wings. The Crapitals were a goal better than the Blue Jackets. And Pittsburgh beat Army.

Olympics getting closer.  But nobody seems to care. So I’ll not do my pairs figure skating preview and will, instead, go straight to…the links!

Kenyon College goes full retard and becomes the latest liberal institute to censor art.  Anybody remember when the left mocked the right for putting cloth on statues and trying to get books taken out of elementary school libraries?  I sure do.

I remember when a politician caught making racially disparaging comments caught on tape meant that politician was either disqualified or forced to beg forgiveness. Not so for an Illinois Democrat. A simple “I regret it getting out and I will sue the person who leaked it, and shame on my opponent for capitalizing on it” seems to have sufficed for the gubernatorial hopeful Pritzker. He was caught on an FBI wiretap discussing which black person to give the Obama senate seat to with Rod Blagojevich, who just so happened to go to prison for a long time for essentially selling the seat.  Pritzker wasn’t implicated in that scheme. I guess some politically-connected families are more important that others.

With apologies to the late, great Percy Sledge:  “Wynn a man loves a woman, can’t keep his eyes hands on nothing else. Cause Thinks that’s the way its s’posed to be.”

Let’s see if Montgomery County, MD wants to maintain that Sanctuary City (yes, I’m aware its a county) street cred or if they shed it for this guy and let him get deported back to the shithole he came from.

I say, let them eat cake Tide pods! We’ve got to winnow the herd somehow. And anybody dumb enough to eat a freaking Tide pod deserves their fate. But nooooooooo. We’ve got to legislate so the makers of them have to completely retool their packaging factory at what I can only assume is a considerable cost, in order to keep a few retards from doing something retarded.  What’s next? Going after Owens-Corning for their sweet, delicious cotton candy, er insulation?

Chicago cop taken off the street after internal investigation reveals that he performed an internal investigation of his own on a suspect in the hospital. If you’re a friend of his, don’t worry. He’s still getting paid.

Don’t try to steal from a convenience store in Houston. (Note how they aren’t even considering charges or holding the clerk? That’s because the cops here aren’t stupid and at least care a little bit for defense of property, life and the life of others by gun owners who are being robbed.

Orlando International Airport considers telling the TSA to GTFO. That would be pretty awesome if it happened. So it won’t.

Speaking of the TSA, I propose this be made the Department’s theme song.

That’s it. Enjoy hump day.

So my son managed to attend a whole hour of daycare before getting sent home — oh, and he has to stay home tomorrow, too. Seriously, he’s fucking four. IDGAF if he says he feels sick. I took his ass to the doctor yesterday and the doc said he was cleared.

The first rule of business is be where your customers are. This girl gets it. h/t Webdominatrix

Hey guys, you’ll be totally surprised to find working class, union guys in Germany are moving from the Social Democrats to the, er.. Nationalist parties that are also pretty socialist? Trying not to Godwin the shit out of this. h/t Warty

Amtrak train separates at 125 MPH — which seems a little fast for the even the Express from DC to Penn Station. Survivors were dropped into Philly to complete Phase II of the Running Man game show.

Asshole infects 33 people with AIDS in India while posing as doctor. Hopefully, they find him murdered and fed to dogs on the side of a road somewhere.

We’ll see if SpaceX’s Falcon Heavy goes up. Update: Yep. All the rockets went all the way. See if they stick the landing. The two on the side sure to hell did.

This might be a backup theme song. Well, we have “Because Fuck You, That’s Why” for everyone and “My Sharona” for OMWC. Sloopy’s is in his handle… Okay, theme song contest for contributors and commentors!

I wonder how Tom Brady feels today?  Probably like the players at Michigan felt the final Sunday in November for 15 of the last 17 years and every single year St Urban has been in Columbus.  LOL, bunch of bitch-ass bitches.

But I digress.  There’s plenty other stuff to talk about in the world of sports.  The Olympics are about to kick off, for one. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! Does anybody have a clue how the hockey is gonna play out? I know we have some Glibs that follow juniors, so fill us in on what to expect in the comments please. As for the other stuff, I know our alpine women look really tough to beat, but I’ve got no idea if the next Bode Miller is out there yet. And the bobsled? Do we have football players doing their thing again? Figure skating is a bit meh to me, although they have amazing skill. And I’m pretty sure the curling medals will continue to elude Americans, yet I’ll probably still watch. Well, that’s all I’ve got on that.

In sports that have already been played, the Big XII (with X schools) continues its wacky ride this season, with WVU topping Oklahoma. Meanwhile, Syracuse beat Louisville and Indiana beat Rutgers. And in soccer, Watford beat the shit out of…Chelski?  Wow, that one’s a shocker.  I’m surprised the refs didn’t hand Chelsea a few penalties late to get them back in the game. But I guess they only reserve that for one of the London clubs.

On the ice, just four games were played. The Maple Leafs put up a touchdown and beat the Mighty Ducks.  The Predators beat the Islanders in OT. The Oilers greased the Lightning, And the Dallas Stars were a goal better than the New York Rangers.

That’s it for sports. Now…the links!

Devin Nunes, chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, takes his accusations a step farther. I don’t know how what he’s saying could be considered controversial.  Her campaign did, in fact, commission a private intel company to work with Russians, many of them listed in the dossier as intel officials, to dig up opposition research on President Trump.  That’s collaboration by any definition.  Not that it should be illegal or anything. Just noting the hypocrisy. The House, by the way, voted to release the Dem’s response to his memo yesterday. I wonder why Schiff wasn’t praising that bit of bipartisanship.

If the opening of the futures market on Tuesday is any indication, the stock market will take another beating today.

Quentin Tarantino finally chimes in on the whole Uma-Weinstein article kerfuffle. All I gathered from it is that:

• all of these people have enormous egos and inflated senses of self-worth
• he spit in her face and choked her because they had a close, trusting working relationship and he had more confidence in himself to get it right sooner than an actor or stagehand would
• Uma Thurman probably needs to learn how to drive a car like 99.99% of American adults.

Gavin Newsom gives a stunning and brave interview in which he waves off his marriage-ending affair from a decade ago and blames problems on “toxic masculinity” rather than, you know, individual responsibility.  As a bonus, I never knew he was married to Kimberly Giulfoyle.

Professor invites Steve Bannon to debate him. Takes time to courteously explain to snowflakes that that’s how life is going to be once you leave the cocoon of college life. What a bunch of idiots. Do they really think they can avoid confrontation with people who have opposing viewpoints their entire life through censoring them and preventing them access to public forums?  Are they really this stupid?  ::sigh:: I get the feeling they are.  Well, good thing they’re not the ones with all the guns.

If you wondered what was going on with Catalonia, you’re not alone. But you might want to shift your attention to Corsica if you want to know what the next separatist European hotspot is.

Penn State to NASA: eat shit!

Musical tie-in for the last link.

That’s all I’ve got.  Have a great day out there.

So my eldest son obviously got all the right genes. He didn’t even drink and woke up with the Irish Flu the day after the Super Bowl. For those counting, he’s getting close to Ferris Bueller territory for absences this year. I’ve got to teach him how to hack into his school and change that now.

Bottom story of the year: Comey well liked by FBI staffers. I bet he wasn’t throwing their friends in prison for owning the wrong kind of plant. They should go jump up their own assholes.

I’m interested to see what the response to this junkie’s tale is. Getting an organ removed to get drugs, that’s pretty fucking hardcore.

SEA SMITH KNOW HOW RAPEY DOLPHINS ARE. MAKE SHARK LOVE CHILD.

Libertarian Moment in England? Private police force with 100% conviction rate. When being wrong gets the fuck sued out of you….

SugarFree strongly suggested this for the song today. And hey, who am I to give away a free day’s song?

 

Lots of happenings over the weekend. But I get the feeling I’d be lynched, and not Loretta-style with a sweet meeting in a private jet but the kind involving a rope and a tree, if I didn’t at least bring up sports.  So I will:

The Buckeyes struggled early put pulled away in a game of runs to beat Illinois. Meanwhile Villanova rolls along. And I know it was Saturday, but its worth noting that Kentucky got rocked my Missouri and the mighty Duke fell to lowly St. Johns in an odd out-of-conference game in February.  I hope it drove Dickie V to tears, the one-eyed fuck. And on the ice, Montreal beat Ottawa, Carolina topped San Jose, and Army beat Washington.

And then…there was the reason Philly will probably be burning as you read this.  But as far as this man is concerned, its a small price to pay so the rest of the civilized world can get a tase of those salty, ham lobster tears. I haven’t tasted anything this sweet since walking out of the Superdome a few years ago after Ohio State beat Alabama on their way to a National Championship. But don’t worry, Bradyiots, ESPN made sure the second story in the headlines was you guys being favored to win it all next year.  Also, T-Mobile pandered too much, Jack In The Box (feat. Martha Stewart) nailed it, and Gordon Ramsey is still funny as fuck.

Whew!  What a game.  Now let’s see if I can find anything else worthwhile to talk about in…the links!

Well that’s just, like, your opinion little man. When asked for comment, Lester Holt said he agreed and then got back in the ski lift line at the direction of the 8-year old kid that was manning it.

Man vs hate birds, the birds that hate: or Man vs government bastards, the bastards that govern.Either way, I like this fellow for his position on taxes but I’m not a big fan for his desire to get the government to solve what could easily be remedied by dumping bags of poison on the lawn or hiring a few gents with shotguns. (And I always thought his wife was hot way back in the day before that crazy German fucker stabbed her in the back.)

Well, I guess the taxes aren’t high enough in Chicago, otherwise this wouldn’t be happening.  And even though they’re required to go by law, I doubt there will be any legal consequences for these lazy fucks.  Also, note which cases they didn’t go to and take a wild guess as to why.

In the infamous words of Jack Napier: Never rub another man’s rhubarb.

Keeping it in the family. This story is weird as shit, but the criminal charges are a bunch of bullshit.  Adultery? Seriously? And correct me if I’m wrong, but someone ceases to be a minor when they turn 18. Get a math textbook, North Carolina.

Christ, what a couple of assholes. That is all.

Here’s one for the techies out there. Ands for the IP- and anti IP-warriors out there to fight over.  Hell, it’s actually a pretty interesting case that I wish got more attention.

The California “bullet” train continues to be an absolute shitshow. And if you’re surprised by that, then you haven’t been paying attention.

This is for the people in the last link (and OMWC).

Have a great day, friends.

 

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. YESTERDAY ZARDOZ BELIEVED HE WAS COMPELLED TO CHEER FOR YOUR BRUTAL TEAM OF CARNIVOROUS RAPTORS. THE TABERNACLE HAS REMINDED ZARDOZ, THAT THE CORRECT RESULT IS ONE THAT LEADS TO THE GREATEST AMOUNT OF CLEANSING.

IF THE OLD FASHIONED BRUTAL ENFORCERS WIN, WILL THEY USE MUSKETS TO CLEANSE OPPOSING FANS? IF THE CARNIVORIOUS RAPTORS WIN, WILL THE ENSUING RIOTS CLEANSE A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF BRUTALS?

STATE YOUR CASE, CHOSEN ONES!

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.