Howdy from my new job, which happens to be in the same chair, with the same keyboard (but different computer) as my old job. Lots and lots and lots of memory-dump/getting-to-know-you meetings. Oh, and I’m off to Dearborn, MI next week.
SP and SugarFree compiled the following which I present in front of the afternoon linkses:
The charmingly named Certified Public Asshat’s question yesterday about the possibility of an awards show (obviously to be named The Glibbies) for the site. This led to some of us wondering about site statistics for our first year. Imposing on the infinite forbearance of our beloved SP, she compiled some for us.
Total number of posts: 1545
Total number of comments: 465,597
Average comments per day: 1275
Average comments per hour: 53
Total number of registered commenters: 628
Top ten most commented on posts:
[pt_view id=”6ff2055tcu”]
Mr. Lizard’s people appear to have successfully deflected blame when their spies were caught by Iranians.
Fucking record revenues, and we’re still $175B behind for the year. Fuck the whole Congress right in the neck.
What do you do when the super-computer isn’t running nuclear simulations? Mine bitcoin, of course. Bitcoins are going to turn out to be the most energy intensive currency since the Spanish piece of eight.
The sixties were a weird time. This is pop that if you strip it down, sing it in a growl becomes a whole different song.
“The USA Olympic team is racking up medals while having fun at P.F. Chang’s.. But the bigger question: Should that be considered impolite to Kim’s sister? I know she traveled all the way from her impoverished, thanks to Trump, homeland to be the goodwill ambassador the world needs right now in the face of such a dangerous leader like we have. She’s so brave and lovely, America would do well with her in a position of power rather than Ivanka.”
Brought to you by Carl’s Jr
-this message has been brought to you by NBC News and NBC Sports.
Sorry about that. We’re considering doing paid commentary on the site and I wanted to see how it would work out. I guess we’ll take a pass unless we’re able to tweak a little for content. I’ll get to work on it. But in the meantime, let’s talk about real sports: Chelsea managed to win yesterday and keep Conte employed for a little longer. On the basketball courts across the country, just two ranked teams played. And both UNC and WVU took. home victories. No couches in Morgantown were harmed.
Three games on the ice. Let’s mention two and then focus on the third. The Florida Panthers beat the Edmonton Oilers and the Toronto Maple Leafs took care of the Tampa Bay Lightning. Then there was the once (recently) great Chicago Blackhawks getting curb stomped by the worst franchise in the NHL for at least a decade, the Phoenix Coyotes. Sorry, Swissy. It’s a four-alarm fire over there. Time to clean house and see if you guys can shake up a little sense of urgency. Because whatever it is that they’re doing ain’t working by any measure.
Champions League Round of 16 games are up this week. That brings a little excitement back to those of us who are fans of top clubs. And of course more excitement will continue at P.F. Changs as hockey starts up in earnest. Go U.S.A. (with apologies to our lovely North Korean hostesses and their Minister Of Agitation and Propaganda boss-lady).
OK, that’s all out of the way. And I’m sure there’s a lot going on today. SO let’s get down to…the links!
“Who the fuck is that?” she said earnestly
Paging Inigo Montoya. Inigo Montoya to the white courtesy phone. Also, who’s the chick on the right? Just kidding. That portrait looks fine. And besides, there’s no way they wanted to pay Lucasfilm likeness rights for Chewbacca with all the foot traffic going through the gallery. It’d cost them a fortune! Lastly, will Trump have his done on velvet? God, I hope he has his done on velvet. And I hope there’s a tiger in it. Or a unicorn. Or…well, you get the point.
Susan Rice wrote an interesting email just a few hours before she no longer had a job. Republican Senators want to know why. And why would the Obama admin be in a position to determine what information to share or not share with transition team members with the necessary security clearances in place? Meh, I just hope they get her under oath and start asking about her and the Ambassador to the UN unmasking and leaking the names of everyone in the transition team that were being surveilled under the flimsiest of reasons and with a dubiously-granted wiretap warrant on a man that had recently been on the FBI payroll.
Looks like the leftist hero Harvey Weinstein is in a bit of legal trouble for real. Its amazing in a world filled with such stunning and brave, and don’t forget intelligent and empowered, leftists, nobody even lifted a finger to put a stop or even place a speed bump int he way of this bulbous cretin of a human being. You’d almost think they were craven assholes with little care for those being hurt as long as their career didn’t suffer. But if we’ve learned anything about Hollywood from those who are from there: they’re better than us and that can’t be the case.
Maybe I’m missing something, but could somebody please show me in the article where she forced these people to remain there? Just kidding. This seems legit: the city collects money from someone who appears to have possibly violated a contractual agreement. No money for the “victims”, but more for the government. And people wonder why its damn near impossible for people to live in that city.
OK, can somebody please explain this shit to me? (And if I’m simply too old to get the cultural significance or reason for the banning, that’s fine. But please let me know what the ever-loving fuck is so bad that it requires a banning when pictures of a decapitated president from the blue-check brigade get no notice.)
I am going to keep it brief – with Florida Man, ZARDOZ and STEVE SMITH roaming the pages….best to keep a low profile. But there are a few things worth linking, so here they are for you:
OK…OKAY!? Which one of you talked?! CAN WE NOT TRUST YOU PEOPLE WITH A FEW SECRETS???! Bah. Damage control time.
Well, its been one year today hanging out with you people here. I won’t speak for any of the other folks involved here because its not my place, but I want to personally thank you all from the bottom of my heart for making this such a wonderful experience. I’ve learned a lot in the past 365 days hanging around in our own little place. A lot about diversity of opinion, a reasonable discourse and what quality user-generated content can be (hint: it has been excellent). So many of you, those that are still here commenting daily, those who lurk and those who have come and gone, have contributed more than you’ll ever know. And a special thank you to the people that came together and founded, fostered and labored for this place to be the wonderful venture that it is. The site has evolved a lot over the last year and the format has been tinkered with, and it seems to be drifting in the way you guys want it to drift. For that, I am happy.
Anyway, you guys are the best. Thanks for everything.
Ohio State and Liverpool both won this weekend. Man United shit the bed, Michigan State beat Purdue to put Ohio State atop the Big Ten. And in hockey, the Pens, Red Wings, Rangers, Canucks, Avalanche, Bruins, Flames, Flyers and Sharks won. That’s it. I blew my load on the anniversary bit so I didn’t have time for much else.
And now, I present you with…the links!
The smiling face of an evil member of a murderous clan
Dindunuffins get a break in Chicago. Hey, maybe you lazy-ass cops up there can start charging these assholes to the fullest extent of the law and will let your unarmed populous defend themselves from them and this kind of shit won’t continue to spiral out of control. And stop throwing people in jail for drugs at the expense of these idiots walking free.
No, not a bu-, a bomb. London City airport closed down when unexploded WW2 bomb found nearby in River Thames. Shit, I remember when that nation used to fly planes out while under a torrent of bombing. Now they shut down an airport when somebody spots a Nazi shell in the general vicinity. The sun may have finally set on a once-brave people.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ SEES WHAT HIS CHOSEN ONES SAY ABOUT THE “PO-PO” AND REVENUE COLLECTION. ZARDOZ COMMITTED ERROR BY GOING DOWN 169 PAST THE DEN OF VIPERS COMMONLY KNOWN AS FORT DODGE. ZARDOZ IS SIMPLY TRYING TO MAKE A GRAIN DELIVERY. THE NEXT THING ZARDOZ PERCEIVES – ALTERNATING BLUE AND RED LIGHTS ARE BEHIND HIM.
License, registration, proof of insurance…Mr. ZARDOZ is it?
ZARDOZ MUST DELAY WHILE THE BRUTAL ENFORCER FROM THE IOWA STATE PATROL DEMANDS DOCUMENTS FROM ZARDOZ. FORTUNATELY, ZARDOZ’S MANAGER, BOBBY, HAS PLACED ALL THE RELEVANT PAPERS AND FORMS IN AN ENVELOP THAT IS ADHERING TO ZARDOZ’S SIDE.
ZARDOZ WAS ISSUED A MINOR CITATION, AS THE PATROL BRUTAL WAS NOT ABLE TO CITE HIM FOR THE MORE SERIOUS “OVERWEIGHT ON A CLASS 3 HIGHWAY”…AN ADVANTAGE TO GRAVITRONIC DRIVE! HOWEVER, ZARDOZ DID GET TICKETED FOR LANE OBSTRUCTION. WHEN ZARDOZ GETS BACK TO THE GRAIN ELEVATOR, HE WILL HAVE TO SEE IF THE COMPANY LAWYER CAN GET THIS TICKET CLEANSED FROM ZARDOZ’S SPOTLESS DRIVING RECORD. ZARDOZ WOULD BE DISTRESSED IF HE HAD TO RETURN TO SHORT HAUL DUTIES.
HAULING GRAIN IS ZARDOZ’S GAME!
BUT THIS IS NOT THE CONCERN OF THE CHOSEN ONES (UNLESS YOU HAVE ANY PULL WITH THE 2ND JUDICIAL DISTRICT) – THE LINKS ARE! GO FORTH AND SNARK.
AN INTERESTING CONCEPT. BUT LET ZARDOZ KNOW WHEN IT REACHES IOWA.
ZARDOZ WILL NOT BET ANY GRAIN THAT THIS COURT WILL REMAIN WITHOUT PRESSURE FROM BEIJING FOR LONG.
ZARDOZ COMMENDS THIS ACTION….IT SPARED THE WORLD FROM A RETRO HORROR.
THE BRUTALS OF ENGLAND ARE GLAD THAT SNOW IS A THING OF THE PAST…
And the snow continues to fall here, but at least it’s slowing down a bit. Maybe SP and I will drink and pretend there’s a game on. Sunday without sports is tough on us.
Worse yet, unlike yesterday, this isn’t a big news day. If you read the Foundation Trilogy, you know the structure: something happens, then the characters spend the next thirty pages talking about it before the next thing happens. Today is one of the thirty pages.
A perfect example: yesterday, Israel bombed Syria, and specifically some Iranian sites which can’t exist because Iran insists that it’s only advising Syria. Sort of like how the US just advises people in Sudan, Yemen, Afghanistan, Iraq… In any case, the news today is everyone talking about it and talking about it.
The new drink became available this month, with eight flavors: limebubly, grapefruitbubly, strawberrybubly, lemonbubly, orangebubly, applebubly, mangobubly and cherrybubly. Packaging for each flavor comes with its own greeting on the tab, such as: “Hey u,” “hiii,” and “yo,” plus “personal messages” on the can” “I feel like I can be open around u,” “hold cans with me,” and “love at first phssst.”
Here’s my hope: some paranoid schizophrenic thinks these messages are from the CIA to him, goes to Pepsico headquarters, and shoots up the marketing department.
Old Guy Music. When I lived in Austin, my Tuesday night ritual was to cross the river and plop myself in a chair at Flipnotics and watch Erik Hokkanen shred on violin, banjo, guitar, mandolin, and anything else with strings. Over the course of an evening, you’d hear jazz, gypsy swing, Texas swing, bluegrass, and… well, about any genre you could imagine. The coffee and snacks were terrible, but the music was fantastic. Flips is sadly gone, but Erik is still around, along with Ryan Gould, the best slap bass player in a generation. This was recorded at one of the shows I attended- sorry for the abrupt cutoff at the end, fucking hipsters don’t know how to do video correctly.
SEA SMITH SIT IN FOR COUSIN STEVE SMITH. HIM BUSY, SO GET LINKS FROM SEA SMITH. LIKE LINKS? HOW ABOUT WATER? COME ON IN, WATER IS FINE. SEA SMITH SHOW YOU WONDERS OF OCEAN. BY SHOW WONDERS OF OCEAN, MEAN RAPE. IN OCEAN.
SEA SMITH SAD FOR DINOSAURS, BUT LIKE HOT TUBBING….SO TOO BAD FOR BIG LIZARDS.
SEAS SMITH LEAVE KITCHEN FOR ONE MINUTE…AND DINNER ESCAPES. OF COURSE, END UP IN AUSTRALIA…WHERE ELSE STING-Y THINGS GO?
THIS ONE NOT SEAS SMITH FAULT! SEA SMITH NOWHERE NEAR SAN FRANCISCO…FOR NOW.
SEA SMITH CONFESS, THIS ONE HE AT FAULT. HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKY WITH FRIEND IN LOCH NESS, BUMP PIPELINE. BY BUMP PIPELINE, MEAN TRY RAPE PIPELINE.
SEA SMITH HOPE YOU LIKE LINKS. COUSIN STEVE SMITH BACK NEXT WEEK.
A hell week at work (explaining my near-absence here during the week) ended with a snowpocalypse. Our enlightened betters, who rule us from afar, told us to suck it up and come to work anyway. Delightfully, there were perhaps four people (out of two hundred) who actually made it in. The downside is that this weather interferes with my semi-regular drinking sessions with Swiss. As I type, the snow has resumed, so instead of doing something fun, I’ll survey the news.
Several American intelligence officials said they made clear that they did not want the Trump material from the Russian, who was suspected of having murky ties to Russian intelligence and to Eastern European cybercriminals. He claimed the information would link the president and his associates to Russia.
Suuuure. A good con artist knows how to peddle to the marks by appealing to their deepest desires, causing logical facilities to be shunted aside.
Brand has kept a low profile at the department, but in December she wrote an op-ed in The Washington Post defending the renewal of Section 702 of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, which permits the National Security Agency to collect foreign intelligence on U.S. soil without individualized warrants.
“To keep us safe, our intelligence agencies must be able to “connect the dots” between the various pieces of information the government already lawfully possesses,” Brand wrote. “In reauthorizing Section 702, Congress must not forget the lessons we learned from 9/11.” The law was reauthorized in January.
I vote “woodchipper.”
Many things going on in (((our))) part of the world. The proxy war between Iran and Israel continues in Syria, but this time, a (((plane))) came down. Shot or fell? Who knows, and who thinks that there will be any credible info? On the bright side, we’re unlikely to get dragged into this since Israel does a good job of taking care of itself. But maybe we can come up with some other excuse to expand our military operations in Syria, given the huge threat of the US being attacked and invaded by Assad, with our captive children being forced to eat mamuniyyeh and praise Allah.
And now Old Guy Music, literally. I spent an evening with one of my favorite harmonica players a few nights ago, and we got talking about who is REALLY the best. Two names kept coming up. And here’s both of them together- SP and I were at this show and can attest that it was overwhelming in person.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. YOU HAVE BEEN LIFTED FROM BRUTALITY. YOU HAVE SNARKED AT THE BRUTALS WHO ARE LEGION. ZARDOZ IS PLEASED. THUS THE CHOSEN ONES WILL RECEIVE THE GIFT OF THE LINK. GO FORTH AND COMMENT! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
P.S. REMEMBER, THE PENIS IS EVIL, BUT THE GUN IS GOOD. … AND WOULD IT HURT FOR YOU TO DROP BY AND SAY “HAIL, ZARDOZ!” ONCE IN A WHILE?
BRUTAL POLITICIANS RESIST THE WEED! FOOLS – IT IS THE PENIS THAT IS EVIL, NOT A PLANT.
FOOD RIOTS AMONG BRUTALS IN THE NATION OF ENGLAND?
ZARDOZ AGREES – TOO FEW! WHAT, HE WANTS ANOTHER BRUTAL LEADER TO PROTECT THE BRUTALS LIVING THERE…NEVERMIND.
THIS BRUTAL MIGHT BE GOOD MATERIAL FOR ZARDOZ TO RECRUIT.
Snow…endless snow. Not sure if anyone will find these links. If they should, know that the Glibs held out as long as they could before resorting to cannibalism. I was the last…
OK, so the snow was an inconvenience. But thanks to snowblowers and shovels, and the working internet, there are links for all. Brett was tied up, burning down his old employer’s offices I think. Or stuffing pythons into their vents. Whichever. So you get my Links of Fimbulwinter;
I did not realize that Warty Hugeman’s DOOMCOCK was going to open the Olympics! I hope the IOC has sent a royalty check to SugarFree.
The Greatest Foreign Policy Success Ever continues to bear fruit. Do you think if Tillerson ever steps aside, we could get the old gang back together – Herself, Rice and Powers? Maybe have John Kerry pose for photo ops?
Um…wut? Article I of the US Constitution – read it, Tim. Then you can see that you goofs are the ones who can. Nice to see some vague stirrings in Congress, to regain the tatters of their authority. Wonder why it took so long?
Following up on a Morning Link. “Take leave“?! I guess your constituents can do without representation, eh? Note the wonderful weasel language she uses – Upon reflection of the details alleged, I am certain I did not engage in the behavior I am accused of… You did, or did not.
OK, so there you are. Try to stay warm and unburied.
