In conversations over many beers yesterday with Swiss, he lapsed into his usual complaints. “Why do we even bother doing Links? No one actually reads them. Lord Humungus just starts posting his own, Q starts posting titty pix… it’s like our efforts are useless.” I hate to see a grown man cry like that so I reassured him, “Yes, they do, they read our stuff very carefully. And they read every article we link.” Yet somehow, he didn’t believe me and continued to sob uncontrollably. I think he’s wrong. Work with me here, people.
Just when I think Jeff Sessions can’t get any stupider, he proves me wrong.
OK, y’all have fun in the comments, and make sure we stick to the topic so that Swiss doesn’t complain. But first, Old Guy Music! From the bestest guitarist with the finest patter, doing something… unexpected.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ MANAGED TO GET OUT OF HIS LANE OBSTRUCTION TICKET. ZARDOZ BELIEVES THE PRESENCE OF 100 BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS IN THE COURT GALLERY MIGHT HAVE HELPED.
MIGHTY ZARDOZ…NOT GUILTY!
SO, WITHOUT THE DISTRACTION OF THE IOWA STATE PATROL AND THE BRUTAL COURT SYSTEM, ZARDOZ IS ABLE TO GIVE HIS CHOSEN ONES THE GIFT OF THE LINK! GO FORTH AND COMMENT!
RED LINES FOR EVERYONE! ZARDOZ IS PLEASED. SOMEHOW THIS WILL END UP IN A LOT OF CLEANSING.
ZARDOZ IS AMUSED AT THE HEADLINE. ZARDOZ DEMANDS THE BRITISH TABLOID PRESS NOT CHANGE.
THIS AMUSES ZARDOZ EVEN MORE. ZARDOZ WOULD ASSIST THE BRUTAL BIDEN IN HIS EFFORTS.
Finally another week from Hell (also known as “my job”) comes dwindling to an end. And I may even be undisturbed this weekend, since my usual sources of weekend angst are busy celebrating their New Year. That means day-drinking, and that means craft beer, and THAT means a run down to Swiss’s preferred beer purveyor where we can swap ribald stories over some high octane brews. Unlike Mexican Sharpshooter, we are not exactly experts and the beers served at this venue tend not to have wide distribution, so we won’t impinge on his reviewing territory. However, it’s at least warmed up enough here that letting out the beer does not involve an act analogous to trying to piss through a button.
While Swiss and I get a load on, you delightful reprobates can comment on today’s news. Here’s a few examples of things that randomly caught my attention.
As has been discussed extensively, the Department of Futile Gestures has brought charges against people they can’t touch for engaging in political speech. Never mind that the First Amendment doesn’t specify “citizens,” or that, yet again, our Fifth Estate doesn’t know the difference between a “campaign” and an “election.” Of course, the logical continuation would be the indictment of the Obama State Department folks for funding OneVoice to meddle in the Israeli elections campaigns to favor the leftist opponents of Netanyahu.
It is important for the all-wise government to step in and regulate home schools to ensure that they do just as poor a job of education and just as effective a job of indoctrination as public schools, or so writes Diane Moon Glampers.
And although California requires private school employees receive a background check, parents who work with their kids are actually exempted from being checked to see if they have past criminal records…
I… don’t even know where to begin with that one.
If you ever want to see a pitch-perfect example of outright lying with statistics, this excellent article does a wonderful analysis and take-down of a typical bit of bullshit that’s been heavily passed around to gin up FUD. While I’m at it, here’s another splash of cold water dose of reality.
Music time, of the Old Guy variety. High on my list of Concerts I Wish I Had Attended was the Carnegie Hall reunion of a crew of ex-Mingus band members. This extended jam is insane fun, and the best part is Roland Kirk following George Adams’s outside solo. Kirk starts conventionally, then suddenly… well listen and hear. I don’t know if Adams was ever the same after that musical spanking. This is some stunning playing by a group of the finest musicians to ever appear together on a single stage.
SEA SMITH HAVE NICE VISIT WITH COUSIN STEVE SMITH. WE HANG OUT AT BEACH. BY HANG OUT AT BEACH, MEAN RAPE BEACHGOERS. HE TELL SEA SMITH HOW MUCH FUN HE HAVE DOING LINKS FOR YOU. SO SEA SMITH ASK IF HIM CAN DO TONIGHT’S. COUSIN STEVE SMITH SAY OK, HIM HAVE TO GO RINSE SAND AND SALT OUT.
HERE ARE SEA SMITH LINKS!
SEA SMITH THINK THIS COUNT AS GIANT MIDDLE FINGER UP TO WORLD.
SEA SMITH READ LETTERS – HIM SUPPORT ANYTHING THAT PUT PEOPLE ON OCEAN. IF YOU KNOW WHAT SEA SMITH MEAN, AND HE THINK YOU DO.
I am bored. Today, I am filled with boredom. And I care not enough to do anything about it. But I suppose it would be expected to have Afternoon Links. So I have managed to convince Brett to go cook meth or catch pythons, fight gators or drive a fanboat….whatever catches a Florida Man’s fancy this afternoon. I will try to shake the ennui by doing Links.
Oh look, a Euro politician yapping for more American money to be given to others. *Yawn* Boring…
Speaking of boring…this fellow and politics fit the bill.
Oh look, another charity/celebrity/whatever sex scandal.
How unique… a gator walking around someplace in Florida, of all places. *snores*
Not really a link – which Glib said the following – “Daytime TV is like having a fine mist of hooker diarrhea sprayed in your eyes.” You all should be able to get this in one.
…
It didn’t work
*wanders off, aimlessly*
*Stirs, comes back briefly*
IT WAS SUGARFREE. (I will forgive the HM guess…this time)
Thank God this week is almost over. I’m as tired as Lili von Shtupp. Today is my son’s 18th birthday. I feel especially old now that he’s an adult. But I also got to change a piss-filled diaper from Baby Justice, so I was at least reminded that I have a whole other generation of them to raise to adulthood.
THE SUMMER OLYMPICS ARE BETTER BECAUSE THIS
Hey, what ever happened to athletes and actors just entertaining us and leaving their political messages at the door? Was it ever that way, I wonder? Sure, there were a lot of athletes that left the sport to sign up when the Japs bombed Pearl Harbor, but there was literally no controversy in their opinion. Today its a bunch of athletes who have security protecting them while at work decrying my ownership of guns because some stupid asshole punk decided to go on a killing spree. I’m happy you have an opinion about it dick, but don’t expect me to pay to see you play when you’re telling me I should give up my rights (or have them forcibly taken away) just to make you feel good about yourself while you have the luxury of having an armed security force at your workplace.
Sorry about that rant, but half the ESPN stories this morning were about who all is speaking out for gun control. And I don’t have the patience to suffer a network with a political mission of disarmament, ramming their opinion down our throat when their stated mission is to be the worldwide leader in sports. Of course, these are the same progressive dumbshits that fawned over Obama and his basketball picks every year but left politics out of it, meanwhile they completely changed their stated policy on mixing politics and sports when Trump was inaugurated because “athletes and sportscasters have voices too and should be heard in these divisive times.” Nevermind that the guy in office before him did more to stir up racial and political animosity than any predecessor in the history of our nation.
No, not a bu-, a bomb.
No scores today. That’s my sports update. Thanks, ESPN, for taking away one of my daily diversions. And now come…the links!
Maybe the FBI are starting to take seriously leads on people who are obviously bent on destruction. I wonder if the teacher will get put on paid leave. Just kidding, he quit before he was arrested. Although the door is open to a pension related to the stress of teaching while running a bomb factory. Hell, if a NYPD cop can get a heftier pension because he allowed himself to become a fat fuck, this guy might have a chance too.
LOL, sorry bitches! You got trolled. I like the cut of this guy’s jib. I mean, he simply doesn’t give a fuck what anybody wants from him. And he’s probably gonna parlay that into a bigger payday.
OK, I have a question: why is the FBI doing investigations that include domestic violence in the first place? Look, DV is awful. Anybody that would initiate violence on a spouse, partner or stranger for that matter is an asshole. But when the hell did it become the province of the FBI? Perhaps those resources could have been better spent following up on actual threats of violence against schools full of kids instead of this shit.
How do you manage to fuck this up to the tune of a $4Bn loss?
Better enjoy Uber while you can. Because they’re apparently run like shit. Seriously, how do you lose that much money when your entire means of revenue are off of commissions you only pay if your drivers are making money? Sure, there’s some more overhead, but it can’t be that much. Here’s a tip: move out of Silicon Valley and San Francisco and set up shop somewhere you can pay your employees and your facilities cost a hell of a lot less.
A series of good deeds is once again rewarded. This dude is just a cool guy. I hope he can finally have a couple injury-free seasons, but even if he ends up never playing another down, he will be regarded as a fine football player and an even better human being.
I got my hair did today. So I got that going for me. Had a decent dinner in a weird restaurant last night. Maybe it was the blue lighting in the bar. Maybe it was that we were the youngest couple on our side of the restaurant by at least 10 years. Maybe it was the fact that our server looked like he got dragged off a bar stool at the shuffleboard court. Anyhow, lovely dinner with my wife until the fucker brought me the wrong wine — on purpose. I still tipped him, but I was hot. Bring me. What the fuck. I ordered. Don’t save me $2 on a glass of wine. So he got the minimum I give for holiday nights.
From the “Trump is not our ally” files. A sales tax? Sure, just repeal the 16th Amendment first.
Well, there’s at least one clear hero in the school shooting yesterday. Rest well, Coach Fies, you done good.
Nothing to see here, just move along, sure, its a hole in the theory, but we will get it explained if you just increase our research funding! (Just how much of the Earth does weather have to affect before it becomes climate?)
I’m digging this riff today. Even if the vocal loop is a little weird.
Hope y’all had a nice Valentine’s Day. Mine went exactly as I’d hoped and a little better when I received a very nice writing instrument. Thanks, Banjos 🙂
Just in case you thought the Winter Olympics were as good as the Summer Olympics.
Olympics are still too boring to note, although America has already captured the first of the alpine events (where the score is actually the time and a winner is determined by objective measurements rather than the opinions of a few people. So…go USA!
Providence might have played their way into the tournament with a win over Villanova. Elsewhere, Xavier (OH) Won. Auburn beat Kentucky, who is starting to fall outside the bubble, in my opinion.Florida State took down Clemson, to the delight of Brett L. Duke drilled Va Tech. Michigan rolled up Iowa. And Nevada topped Boise State. This year is absolutely wide open. The tournament should be a blast.
On the ice, just three games. The Avalanche blanked Les Canadiens. The Florida Panthers beat the Vancouver Canucks. And the Maple Leafs continue to impress, doubling up the Columbus Bluie Jackets 6-3. This season has been a roller coaster. I can’t wait to see how it ends in five months. Or how the playoffs work out 9 months from now.
Lastly, in European Champions League, I’m getting word that Liverpool have scored again while on the flight back from Portugal. I mean…wow. What a beatdown. And Real Madrid got a pair of late goals to top PSG 3-1. The JV Euro tournament plays today. And Arsene Wenger is probably already complaining about something.
That’s all for the sports update. Now back to…the links!
I didn’t know she was that old. Also, might be photoshopped.
More details are coming out about the horrible piece of shit who shot up a Florida high school, killing 17 and injuring scores more. Apparently everyone know he was a dangerous piece of shit and many suspected he’d try and do something like this, based on his actual threats to do something like this. No police were injured, however, as they’re probably still huddled behind their APC outside the place where he lived.
Elizabeth Warren doubles down on her claims of Indian ancestry. and accuses Trump and others of being meanies. You know, 23 and Me don’t cost that much, Lieawatha Lizzie. I’m sure your opponents would even be willing to crowdfund you getting it done to settle the matter once and for all. Also, its convenient that her story now includes “facts” she has completely omitted up until today. And the principals involved are dead and unable to corroborate her claims. Also, I bet the open bar reception after that meeting is a fucking BLAST!
Oh look! Its a Republican actually talking about balancing a budget! Too bad he’s relying on cutting pensions for Illinois government employees and raising taxes. Because saying those two things together in that state all but ensure he will not be re-elected.
A group of Senators have reached a deal on immigration. But there’s no way in hell it gets a consensus until it addresses chain immigration, curbing future illegal immigration and the border wall Trump is insisting be funded or he will veto it.
Wait, so its ok for him to do blackface but not me? Actually, I’m sincerely proud of this guy. I’m glad he’s doing what he can to continue living his dream. The world needs more of this kind of persistence and less of the HRC variety.
Well, the wife has her flowers (thankfully she isn’t working right now so I don’t have to overpay to have them delivered to her work) and my parents have volunteered to let us get away for dinner. So that’s nice. We’re trying out the place nearest our house. Like I could probably hit it with a golf ball if I got it over the neighbor’s house and got a decent bounce down the hill. It’s either under new ownership or been renamed and rebranded since we moved here. We’ll see. If not, there’s an Irish pub next door that serves food.
Here’s a link to warm your hearts. The libertarian in a district in FL split off just enough of the Republican vote to elect a Democrat to the House in a special election. Unless you read the polling and then you see that a lot of Republicans probably just stayed home.
Wow, the NYT failed its own due diligence, but was able to use the wisdom of crowds to withdraw its job offer to someone who once admitted to knowing neo-nazis and not shunning them. Two things. One: if you have children who are approaching college age, please remind them that everything the put on the Internet is what police like to refer to as “evidence” (However, the internet can be changed!), Two: Don’t fucking use Twitter.
There is no problem the government cannot make worse. Scumbag ICE lawyer ran identity theft scam using immigrant IDs.
STEVE SMITH KNOW HOW THIS GUY GOT FROM NY TO CA IN SAME CLOTHES WITH NO ID.
Breaking: Florida Man shoots up school — still on loose as of 3:45 EST is now in custody.
And entry two in my ongoing discovery of covers I didn’t know were covers: Tainted Love
Its Valentine’s Day in Glibertopia. That means…well, what exactly does that mean to each of you? It means for me to tell Banjos that I love her very much and that I’m so happy she’s my wife and has given me three wonderful children. What does it mean to the rest of you? (Hint: here’s the chance to tell someone how much you love them and perhaps give the site a few extra hits when you tell them to take a look.)
That red font is a little too much for me, so the opening is abbreviated. Besides, I wanted to talk about the 4-0 thrashing Man City put on Basel in the Champions League yesterday. My, what a fortunate draw that was. Elsewhere, Spurs drew Juventus 2-2 in Woplandia. The two away goals are looking pretty good, but they can’t afford to rest, as Juve will look for the outright win in the second leg.
Back in America, land of the free and home of the brave, Kansas won and Texas Tech beat Oklahoma, who are in a freefall, aTm lost to Mizzou, Rhode Island, Michigan State, Tennessee and the top ranked team in the country Virginia Cavaliers beat Miami.
Psychotic bitch and media heartthrob, Kim
In Olympic hockey, the Japs beat the Koreans, which probably means that death stare the lovely diplomat Ms Kim gave the losers came with a message (although she is so lovely, isn’t she? Why, Lester Holt was fapping to her all night.). Actually, I can’t back that up. Are the Korean men using Norks as well, or is that just the women? Either way, you can bet your ass there’s a family of Norks being tortured or murdered by that woman’s brother and she couldn’t possibly care less. And neither could the idiots at NBC. The USA takes on Canada tonight, which will actually be tomorrow there. I think. Which means our Asian contingent can tell us who won shortly. IS that right? I’m not too sure. Either way, U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Oh yeah, there was some big time hockey played on this side of the Pacific too. A dozen games at that! The winners were: Boston, Buffalo, Columbus, New Jersey, Pittsburgh, Carolina, Detroit, Nashville, The Winnipeg J-E-T-S, Phoenix, Army (over the hapless Blackhawks) and the MINNESOOOOODA WIIIIIIIIIILD! Congratulations to the winners.
I WANT YOU (to stop being such partisan assholes)!
OK, ready for the news? Here’s what I dredged up for…the links!
I’ve got a question: why in the ever-loving fuck is this an issue? I’m reminded of the South Park flag episode where everybody is trying to signal their absolute lack of racism while the kids are completely oblivious to the races of anybody involved. Also, we’re not anywhere near Halloween, so this should be doubly unnecessary for at least 8 months.
Christ, what an asshole. At least break into someone’s home up there while they’re out losing a Super Bowl, not at a wake you prick.
Talk about luck! After all, its California. If the thing had ended up being endangered, the state would have sued the shit out of the kid for destroying its natural habitat and effectively killing it.
I swear to tell the truth, the wh-…well some of it anyway. I’m with the FBI, I can get away with that.
Face charges? Hell, he’ll probably get a medal. Seriously, in what civilized world is doing a PIT maneuver on a minivan full of people doing 100 mph ever considered a good idea? Especially a minivan full of kids. This is wrong on so many levels its ridiculous.
Gymnast (((Aly Raisman))) is tired of being objectified. And this is her way of fighting it? Well, I and the rest of America wholeheartedly approve. You go girl! Show those men you aren’t a piece of meat. In fact, you should get a couple of your teammates from 2016 and do it together. You know, for empowerment and shit.
