Hi everybody. Its your friendly neighborhood morning? purveyor of links. Am I in the right place? What’s going on here? As it turns out, I have been in Michigan all week in meetings with my new employer and our clients. The job is pretty cool, my co-workers are pretty cool, but man do we have a fuckton of work to do and by my 8th workday, I’d already been asked if I can compress the delivery schedule — which I believe is a new record. And man, have I missed you guys. I’ll be flying this afternoon and Sloopy is still busy, so… here I is.
Okay, Sports — In hockey, Filthy won, Florida defeated the Capitals, Senators struck by Lightning, Habs beat the Rangers, Blackhawks didn’t lose! In pre-Spring Training news, it looks like the Rays are gonna suck this year as their ownership tries to tell everyone they need a new stadium on the other side of Tampa Bay. Listen, I like Ybor, but I don’t want to fight IKEA traffic for weekend afternoon game parking. And now… the links!
And yet, nobody has been fired and these same editors will probably continue to root for gun control. If only Americans were guaranteed a recourse against a tyrannical or negligent government that can or will no longer keep them safe, if it ever did. Meanwhile, the same sort of technocratic fixation on expertise that allowed the failure cascade to result in 17 deaths, perhaps more except for a few sadly unarmed men who stood fast so others could find cover and safety, comes the idea that experts should be able to confiscate guns once they judge someone a danger.
OK, time to have another themed links…but not in subject matter. Nope, we are going to go to a single type of source….the Tabloids! Roll around in the trashy headlines, the insinuation and innuendo! Rejoice in the lack of weight and seriousness. I give you, the all-tabloid links!
We’ll start out with a typical British tabloid reaction to a motor accident – or, a “Hands Free Horror Smash” as the Sun calls it.
Back to Britain, for everybody’s favorite….the Daily Fail Mail. “LOCKED IN WITH LIONS“. Kudos for incorporating the video bit too. I just love the oddly specific reference to the car brand in the header. And God Bless for adding the pics, so we know it was two attractive women IN DANGER!!!!!!!!!!! Never change, Daily Fail!
I would be guilty of the most egregious malpractice if I didn’t include America’s favorite (no, not The Weekly World News) …The National Enquirer! I found a lovely little sports related conspiracy story…For The Win! This is absolutely delightful in the “journalism” aspect of the “investigation”.
OK, one more, I cannot resist, just as an homage to the World’s Only Reliable News…6-INCH ALIEN!
Just TRY and beat that one!
I just KNOW you have favorite tabloid headlines you can share, yes?
Quick, cheap, high quality- pick two. In this case it’s quick and free, the latter of which offends my Hebraic sensibilities. This is what “Hey, Old Man, you have five minutes to put together a post” looks like.
Friends! It has been so long. Brett is in a post-apocalyptic wasteland and his second through fourth string replacements are working (yes, Rufus, some of us work). So you get some slap-dash, last-minute links from me:
Florida legislature! “Florida House declares pornography as a health risk: Republican Rep. Ross Spano says there is research that finds a connection between pornography use and mental and physical illnesses.” Republicans are apparently aiming to be the party of science now. Good for them.
Now here’s some science. “Drinking Alcohol Helps Better Than Exercise If You Want To Live Past 90 Years Old” Guess what, we at Glibertarians don’t care if this is good science or not. 건배!!
Time to sit your boss down and have The Talk. “Phishing schemes net hackers millions of dollars from Fortune 500: IBM has uncovered sophisticated campaigns which are successfully targeting Fortune 500 companies.”
This morning I can think of no better theme for the Links than the source of wisdom, moral exemplars and inspiration that is Hollywood. Bask in the glory. Take to heart the lessons. KNEEL BEFORE ZOD…uh…scratch that last one. Anyhoo, here is Hollywood for ya:
Should you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of a divorce….who other than Ashton Kutcher could you look to for an example of how to manage the whole thing?
I realize that many of you are in business, and in supervisory roles. Learn how to deal with your subordinates from yet another sterling example!
We should be grateful that Hollywood brings us into contact with down to Earth, real people, you know – ones that can inspire us all to greatness.
And if there is one more thing we can get from Hollywood, lately, it is originality!
Now, you must excuse me as I go bow, reverently, toward the Hollywood sign.
Of craps, I give none today. But I don’t want to end up hauled in by rampaging Red, er…Links Guards, so you get links.
“He failed to post the Links!”
I wonder how many Glibs bid on one of these? NOTE: this is NOT something Sloopy auctions, so don’t even start making that joke. In case any of you do, I’ll just do this now… *narrows gaze*
NIMBYs and Slavers try to thwart useful apps. If I was in a crap giving mood, I’d make some sort of ROADZ! joke. I’ll leave that for all of you.
Death Panels? Rubbish made up by people standing against progress!
“Last night I told my wife I would take a bullet for the kids,” said Robert Parish, a teacher at an elementary school just miles from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High, where a former student killed 17 people, including three staff members who found themselves in the line of fire. Since the attack last week, said Mr. Parish, “I think about it all the time.”
Curious if Mr. Parish spends just as much time thinking about lightning strikes, too. I’m guessing probability and statistics weren’t part of the Education curriculum.
As a company, Amazon is simply too powerful and must be dismantled. Under capitalism, the scientific and technological advancements made are being used to squeeze every last ounce of profit out of workers. We must liberate the productive forces of society from the capitalists in order to benefit the many, instead of continuing on the current trend of the vast majority being driven into the abyss of slave-like low-wage labor.
“Slave.” You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. And really, this is much creepier– creepy enough that I think it’s the future for the Glibertarians’ staff.
“I tried.” And you managed to re-invigorate a faded career. Well played.
Music from the Dinosaur Tour. I had a sentimental frisson- not only was I a big Cream fan as a youngster, this was the first song I ever learned to play on the guitar. It is a bit weird to see Jack Bruce playing that particular bass- was he channeling McCartney?
Don’t worry, Jennifer Lawrence isn’t going anywhere!
On Friday, Entertainment Tonight reported that the Oscar winner was planning on taking a year off from acting to focus on activism. However, a representative for Lawrence exclusively tells EW that she will return to work when one of several projects in development is ready to go.
According to IMDB, Lawrence currently has seven projects in development, including an untitled film with Amy Schumer, Ron Howard’s Zelda Fitzgerald biopic Zelda, Adam McKay’s Bad Blood, Luca Guadagnino’s Burial Rites, and more.
In separate interviews, the former Garcia staffers said they left her office, in part, because of regular pressure to accompany their boss to alcohol-fueled evening events.
“It was a power imbalance,’’ one staffer said in an interview last week. “You’re telling me, ‘We’re going to go to a happy hour,’ and I don’t want to do that. It was something that was central — ‘We’re going to go out’ … and I was, ‘I don’t want to hang out with you, I want to go home.’”
The ex-staffer said employees worried about retribution from the boss if they didn’t go along, and that signing the public letter was “the opportunity to be heard” about an unhealthy workplace that often included “vulgar” conversations related to Garcia’s personal sexual experiences.
“It wasn’t a two-way street. It was usually just us listening,’’ she said. “I thought it was weird. It came off as sort of bragging.”
…
The industry lobbyist said he was surprised last year when, during a late-morning policy meeting in Garcia’s Capitol office, the assemblywoman poured beer from a kegerator — a refrigerator with a beer tap on top — located in her office.
She offered the brew in red Solo cups to the group of lobbyists, even though it was “sometime between 11 a.m. and noon … a little early,’’ the lobbyist said.
Sometimes you have to derp like no one’s watching…
A year ago, a bunch of us made predictions for what this presidency might bring. Now, we’ve reassessed—and found many of them were surprisingly accurate.
I’d like to see Slate at the foreground of a new Millerite movement. “The Trumpocalypse happened like we said, dammit! It just happened in a plane of being beyond our understanding. So no one could see it happen. And it didn’t really change anything.” And then they all go to Guyana and poison themselves.
One thing, however, that we can and definitely should start doing is what M’Baku and his Que Dog Jabari Tribe did when encountering a problematic white dude who was speaking when there was no ask or need or purpose for the thoughts and opinions of problematic white dudes.
Bark.
Not a purposeless bark. This isn’t a shih tzu barking through the window at a squirrel. Instead this would be an intentional bark. A targeted bark. An overpowering bark. A drowning bark. A Wakandan bark. A bark meant to communicate “Um, who told you that you can speak? When it is time for your words, we will let you know. And maybe that time will never come. We’ll see. Now, just shut up and stand there. Maybe get on your phone and google ‘How not to be a colonizer.’ Whatever you do, I want to hear you not speaking.”
The bark doesn’t just have to be a counter for useless words, either. A wayward white hand reaches for your hair? WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! A group of white people huddled on a sidewalk refuse to step aside when you attempt to walk past them? WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! A purse is clutched when you walk on an elevator? WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! (If they’re going to act scared, you might as well give them a reason to be.)
“Hunger Games” star Lawrence revealed her plans while promoting her latest movie “Red Sparrow,” sharing with Entertainment Tonight her ambitions to “fix” democracy in America while she takes a Hollywood hiatus.
“I’m going to take the next year off,” Lawrence outlined. “I’m going to be working with this organization as a part of (anti-corruption organization) Represent.US… trying to get young people engaged politically on a local level.
“It doesn’t have anything to do with partisan (politics). It’s just anti-corruption and stuff trying to pass state by state laws that can help prevent corruption, fix our democracy.”
Police have arrested a woman after an abusive note was left on an ambulance demanding it park somewhere else during a 999 call.
Paramedics were left disgusted by the note, which stated ‘I couldn’t give a s**t if the whole street collapsed’, following an incident in Tunstall.
The crew was also verbally abused while attempting to deal with the incident, which occurred at around midday yesterday.
Now a 26-year-old Tunstall woman has been arrested for public order offences.
An organization that provided–on average–37 condoms to each competing athlete, must do something about all these already adjudicated sexual harassment claims!
Putting sexual abusers or harassers on pedestals, however, contributes to a more terrible world. Turning such people into idols suggests that sexual misconduct isn’t such a big deal and that it’s possible to get away with it. That’s an unconscionable message to send to people around the world.
Ultimately, as the organization in charge of the Olympic Games, the IOC should take responsibility for deciding who is in violation of sexual misconduct policies, rather than directing countries and sports leagues to solve the problem. If the IOC sets standards of conduct, then find reasonable evidence that they’ve been violated, they should be the ones to take action to remove that athlete’s privilege of competing.
The IOC should therefore develop a policy disallowing the participation of athletes who are found to have ever committed sexual harassment or abuse.
Any athlete participating in the Olympics should have to sign a disclosure form indicating whether they have ever formally been charged with or accused of abuse, including in a lawsuit or through criminal charges. If the answer is yes, the IOC should investigate immediately to determine the validity of the charges.
If an investigation reveals the accusations are valid, the athlete should be automatically disqualified. Questions such as those about the allegations against White shouldn’t be considered or addressed only after an athlete has won a medal.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ UNDERSTANDS HIS CHOSEN ONES HAVE MUCH TO SAY, AND TO LINK…WITHOUT GUIDANCE FROM ZARDOZ OR ANYONE ELSE. AS ZARDOZ HAS RAISED YOU FROM BRUTALITY, HE WILL ALLOW HIS CHOSEN ONES AN OPEN POST…FOR TONIGHT. GO FORTH AND POST! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
