Category: Daily Links

The boy child is home sick watching Fireman Sam, which, in the pantheon of annoying kids shows is closer to Daniel Tiger than Caillou. Although the mythical town of Ponti Pandi appears to have one of each type of Anglophone, including “Southern bachelor” — you know, like Ray Gillette from Archer, but a bit more — queenish. Plus the Aussie and the Canukistani dudes hang out exclusively with each other. That has nothing to do with the links or the afternoon. Just what was at the front of my mind. In SPORTZBALL stuff, the Astros really need more practice winning stuff, as their World Series banner unveiling went… poorly. Thank goodness for men with lawn equipment and a purpose.

Well if Carter, Clinton, and GWB are for it, I’m agin it! Or let’s just say I am the cynic who both agrees that vote fraud is likely a problem in some elections (mostly local) and disagrees that photo IDs to vote will fix the problem.

I might be a fan of Spotify now, as they appear to have made a killing screwing the traditional banksters out of their 35% share of the IPO. The high-level view is instead of the listing banks buying some huge amount of the stock at the reference price and selling at market (almost always higher), Spotify sold directly to the market.

The US Federal Reserve picks most hawkish dove for Presidency. At least this guy is willing to argue that interest rates should go up until inflation materializes. SLD, there shouldn’t be a Fed, but if there is, it would be nice if the leadership would acknowledge that interest rates should be increasing in a period of prosperity, lest they have another easy money collapse and no tools to affect the economy with. Better still if they acknowledged that they don’t actually steer the boat, but hey. Baby steps.

The Zombie (Raccoon) Apocalypse hits Ohio.

I never realized how much this song just straight up rips off “Start Me Up.” The 80s are like a different planet, now.

Nothing yet from sloopy…but I am on the case! I have it narrowed down to alien abduction or a “Deliverance” style ordeal in central Texas. So while the Glib-Files investigators work on this, I will send another round of links your way.

[Actor heavy] Birthdays: Washington Irving (1783), Iron Eyes Cody (1904),

Doris Day (1922), Marlon Brando (1924), Wayne Newton (1942), Tony Orlando (1944), Alec Baldwin (1958), Eddie Murphy (1961), Amanda Bynes (1986)

Sports: ‘nova beat Michigan in basketball. The dream of an undefeated White Sox season died. I still don’t want to talk about hockey.

Links:

• #MeToo means she won’t. Before this calms down, I wonder how many other politcos will have the skeletons in their closets dragged out and shown to the world. Overall, I must say this is a good thing…if this is what it takes to pry some of these careerists out of office.
• This will not end well. Personally, I would have kept my head down, mouth shut and not made a spectacle of myself…were I trying to get into the US. I wonder if ICE could make a trade – LA area homeless for Hondurans?
• Hmmm. I wonder when we will get a “ripped from the headlines” episode of some police procedural about this story. Probably not, because the villains are in blue and the DA’s office.
• “Extremely glib“?! Hey, that is our schtick!! There has been some talk of adopting “extremely glib and not at all aligned with the truth” as an official site motto.
• Prince Charles…spreading the demise of monarchy, one dominion at a time?

Oooh, I have to run now….the tip hotline is ringing.  Sloopy, hang in there buddy, we’ll find you! THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE!

I heard a lot of complaining this morning that Winter won’t leave. I feel it, too. Why, we were out on the beach yesterday and it was really too cold for anyone except the little kids, the Canadians, and people with at least 4 inches of blubber around their body to stay in the water. And now both my kids say their ears hurt. This damn winter, man. It has gone on too long.

I haven’t been following the budgets of Oklahoma or Kentucky very closely, but the truism of state budgets are that there are only 3 cost centers: schools, hospitals, and prisons. In many states, that middle one has been sucking all the air out of the room for about a decade. But those inbred, redneck (oilneck) hillbilly fucks might also just hate larnin’ in general.

Those cookies were so fucking addicting they must have been laced…. Or not!

Costa Rica elects former PM to presidency in… surprise upset? So the guy ran on desperately needed fiscal reforms in a country that has received 4 credit downgrades and his gay marriage position made a difference? Skeptical Brett L (who worked in CR for about a year once) is skeptical.

The propellantless EM drive (now re-monikered as MEGA) gets a big phase II funding thumbs up. I really hope this isn’t bunk science, but the effects measured are too small for me to feel excited about this technology — even though much work was put into verifying the result, put me in the camp that says they really need a strong showing in this 2nd phase.

But if the thruster works, we’ll be ready for Ballrooms of Mars.

I think sloopy got abducted by aliens. I got kind of a garbled request for assistance this morning, followed by “not the rectal probe!”… Or, maybe, he ran into some podunk sheriff’s department just off the Interstate that is searching for CONTRABANDZ. Either way, you are still getting your Links this morning, and liking it!

Sports… Baseball panic or false euphoria has started for [INSERT FAVORITE TEAM HERE]. NCAA Basketball concludes tonight – not that I will bother watching two teams I could care less about. NHL playoffs start soon…I don’t want to talk about it.

Birthdays…let us see here:

Charlemagne (742), Hans Christian Andersen (1805), Emile Zola (1840), Buddy Ebsen (1908), Alec Guinness (1914), Marvin Gaye (1939), Camille Paglia (1947) and Michael Fassbender (1977)… I think Charlemagne could take ’em all on… Was Buddy Ebsen ever any good with a great axe?

So, Links then:

• Oh, this should be fun. By fun, I mean, this is going to suck. Porfirio Diaz may have been a dictatorial dirt bag, but “Poor Mexico, so far from God, so close to the United States” still rings true.
• Upstate NY, Great Plains and Upper Midwest Glibs laugh at Britain. Oh noes!
• Boring! No “I woke up and found half a Chinese Space Station in my back yard” stories. Feh.
• Florida Man just tryin’ to keep a pet?

OK, now get back to work, or day drinking or whatever you need to do today.

STEVE SMITH HELP OUT WITH FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN SITE. HIM GIVE YOU OPEN POST. OH, HIM ALSO HAVE SOMETHING SAY ABOUT EARLIER POST…

…

APRIL FOOLS!!!

STEVE SMITH MAKE FUNNY JOKE. HAHA. HIM NOT GOOD AT RAP. BUT HIM REALLY GOOD AT RAPE. BY REALLY GOOD AT RAPE, MEAN REALLY GOOD AT RAPE.

HOPE SILLY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE LIKE OPEN POST.

After the rickrolling incident a few weeks back, I wondered if I should do the same thing today. Y’know, make all the links go to goatse or lemonparty or the like. But no, I am a kind (((man))), one who cares about the people who carefully read and comment on the news stories I curate. Fuck, who am I kidding? Click at your own risk.

The parallel theme here is mediocrity, which engulfed SP and me last night. After much pressure from Sloopy, Francisco d’Anconia, and Swiss, we caved and decided to watch Jaws, which both of us had managed to avoid. This was part of a drinking session involving a Viognier from Tuscany (which I was dubious about, Viognier is a fickle grape that only seems to do well in Condrieu, but the wine dealer seemed adamant that we’d like it). I’ll report the same reaction to the wine and the movie- neither were good, but neither were bad enough to be fun. So I’ll do some mediocre links. No titties, no bizarre sex stories, no Philippine crucifixions. Maybe a shark attack, though.

I’m not sure why anyone still pays any attention to Trump’s brain-lint Twitter shit, but they do. Here’s the latest: Donnie hates Amazon. Who gives a fuck? Cats. Laser pointers. Yawn.

Another yawner: someone inconsequential says something stupid on Facebook, then the Twitter-mob descends, doing their best to ruin their life for Crimethink.

Ted Nugent is a fine guitarist, but like every other entertainer, ought to just entertain us and shut the fuck up. He’s right, of course, but still. Shut up and play yer guitar.

Goddammit, I miss all the fun! I do note the irony regarding the quantity…

Not exactly news, but recent thoughts from a brilliant guy. Listen to the whole thing. And this, too.

Basic personal liberty is being treated with contempt by our government.

One thing my ancestral land excels at is producing much better looking politicians than the US does. They’re just as dishonest and muddle-headed, but at least easier on the eyes than Nancy Pelosi or Patty Murray. This particular one wants to halt all defensive action while spending huge resources in dissecting a propaganda film from a source with a long track record of fakery (remember Muhammed Durra?)

OK, you asked for it (no, you didn’t , but let me live in my illusions) and here it is: Old Guy Music, this time with my favorite flugelhorn player paired with my favorite big band. Smokin’!

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ HAS LIFTED YOU FROM BRUTALITY, TO SNARK AT THE BRUTALS WHO ARE LEGION. AND, ZARDOZ HAS GIVEN YOU THE GIFT OF THE LINK. IN RETURN, ZARDOZ WOULD ASK FOR SOME SUGGESTIONS FROM THE CHOSEN ONES. THE VORTEX TRIES TO KEEP CURRENT, AND THEREFOR DECIDED TO INTRODUCE THE “GIG ECONOMY” TO THE ETERNALS.

…

IT HAS NOT GONE WELL. FIRST, THE ARTISAN BREAD MAKING VENTURE:

THE PRODUCTION STAFF SEEMED HAPPY ENOUGH…

BUT, THE CUSTOMER BASE WAS LESS THAN PLEASED.

BUT EVEN THAT FAILURE WAS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE UTTER FLOP THAT CAME NEXT…

YOU TRY GETTING A BUNCH OF WHINY IMMORTALS TO PULL A CART. IF IT WEREN’T FOR ZED, THE VORTEX WOULD NOT HAVE EVEN BEEN ABLE TO ROLL OUT A PROTOTYPE.

THUS, ZARDOZ WOULD ASK THE CHOSEN ONES FOR SUGGESTIONS AS WHAT TO TRY NEXT. FOR YOUR EFFORTS, ZARDOZ WILL GIVE YOU THE GIFT OF THE LINK:

• WHAT IS THE BRUTAL EXPRESSION… “EXCELSIOR, THE WOLVES DEVOUR THEMSELVES”? THE VORTEX HAS INFORMED ZARDOZ THAT AN IRON LAW IS ALSO IN PLAY – “ME TODAY, YOU TOMORROW”. THE BRUTAL ZUCKERBERG PROBABLY THOUGHT HE HAD BOUGHT GRACE WITH HIS PAST PRONOUNCEMENTS AND SURREPTITIOUS AID TO THOSE NOW ATTACKING HIM. ZARDOZ IS PLEASED.
• ZARDOZ BELIEVES THE CHOSEN ONES WOULD CALL THIS DUNG-STIRRING, YES? WAIT…THE VORTEX INFORMS ZARDOZ IT IS  “@#$%STIRRING”. WHATEVER IT IS LABELED, IT IS SURE TO RAISE SOME BLOOD PRESSURE AMONG THE BRUTALS.
• ZARDOZ WILL HAVE TO RECRUIT THE LEAD FIGURE IN THIS STORY AS A BRUTAL EXTERMINATOR. WHILE A TERRIBLE POLICEMAN, IT IS APPARENT HE IS A GOOD EXTERMINATOR. SO SAYS HIS LAWYER:  Salamoni’s attorney, John McLindon, said he will appeal the officer’s firing to a civil service board. Salamoni knows he probably can’t return to the Baton Rouge police force but wants to prove he did nothing wrong, his lawyer said.“He did what he was trained to do,” McLindon added.
• ZARDOZ IS HOLDING OUT HOPE FOR THE BRUTAL NATIONS OF ITALY AND FRANCE TO GO TO WAR! … WHY ARE THE CHOSEN ONES LAUGHING? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY “THEY WILL BOTH TRY TO SURRENDER FIRST”? WILL THEY NOT FIGHT TO THE DEATH? … OH, ZARDOZ SEES. WELL, ZARDOZ WILL HOPE FOR THE BEST ANYWAY.

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

I survived the first night of Passover, despite the mandatory four glasses minimum of wine. We opened the door for Elijah, but made sure to lock it afterward, given that the countryside is fraught with marauders. And I’m prepared for the usual weekend ritual of chasing off Catholics, Jehovah’s Bystanders, and assorted Evangelicals who come to the door to try to lead me astray from the vicious arms of Yahweh. And a week of eating matzo brei, which I’d probably hate if I weren’t raised on it. But I was, so I crave it.

OK, what’s relevant in the news? In my ancestral land, the Arabs continue their quest for this year’s Darwin Award. And in its usual way, the UN re-enacts the “two wolves and a sheep vote on what’s for dinner.”

Related: Jordan goes ape-shit because Jews have the temerity to celebrate Passover at the site of their ancient Temple. This of course is a total affront to Muslim sensibilities.

I can’t help but say it: you goyim are fucking nuts. My idea of celebration is drinking, eating, music, sex. Goyim have a somewhat different approach.

Speaking of fucking nuts, the only really good news of the week was the faint possibility that the US might get out of Syria, one of 23 countries where we have troops and one of seven countries where Nobel Peace Prize winner Obama waged shooting wars despite the total absence of a defense need. So of course, CNN has decided that this would be a horrible thing because Trump. (Not that I think it will actually happen until I see it)

Old Guy Music! I saw there was a discussion last night about urinal etiquette and it reminded me of something that happened in the late 1970s. I was at a small jazz club in Baltimore (it was a vanity business run at a huge loss by local Chevy dealer Harry Gladding bringing in top jazz talent) seeing Richie Cole. Now, for those of you unfamiliar, Cole is from the West Coast Phil Woods school of bop alto players, with a HUGE sound and insane energy; even ballads are the musical equivalent of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. After the first set, I was exhausted just listening- and desperately in the need to drain my lizard. I made my way over to the bathroom, stepped up the the urinal, unzipped, and let fly. As I irrigated the porcelain, I noticed that Cole was unloading at the next pisser. In my best Chris Farley manner, I said, “Wow, great show!” In a cool hipster tone, he responded, “Thanks, man. Anything you want to hear?” I thought for a second and said, “Harold’s House of Jazz?” “Sure, man, but instrumental, none of us can sing.”

And when he came out, he said to the pickup band (which featured Steve Novosel), “Same chords as Cherokee,” and unleashed the torrent. This is the studio version with the brilliant scat singer, Eddie Jefferson, and Cole’s 20,000 volt solo starts at around 2:30 or so.

SEA SMITH HOPE YOU HAVE GOOD, GOOD FRIDAY. HE HAVE FISH FRY ON FRIDAY – FRY FISH THAT MAKE SEA SMITH MAD, AND HAVE DINNER. FISH ARE FRIENDS SOMETIMES, FOOD SOMETIMES.

HERE LINKS FOR YOU, SO YOU NO GET MAD AT SEA SMITH AND TRY FRY HE, HA HA!

• SEA SMITH REMEMBER SOMETHING SOMETHING IRON LAW APPLY HERE. ONLY THING WORSE THAN BEGGAR…SEA GULL. SEA SMITH WANT WRING SQUAWKING THIEF/BEGGAR BIRD NECK!

• SEA SMITH SAY HE WAIT AND SEE. HE NO BELIEVE UNTIL IT HAPPEN. SEA SMITH ONCE SWIM OUT BY SYRIA COAST. NO LIKE TASTE OF CORDITE, MUSTARD GAS AND SEWAGE IN WATER.

• SO HE NOT REALLY TERMINATOR? SEA SMITH FOOLED BY SNEAKY MOVIES! GO TELL HOLLYWOOD, HE NOT HAPPY. WOULD RAPE, BUT IT ALREADY BEEN DONE.

• ROCKET TAKE PHONE SATELLITES UP. THAT GOOD. SEA SMITH HAVE HARD TIME GET SIGNAL, WHEN FAR OUT IN OCEAN.

TIME SEA SMITH HAVE TO GO. HE RUN OUT OF LEMON FOR FISH FRY. NEED FIND SHIP FROM TROPICAL PORT TO GET LEMONS FROM. BY GET LEMONS FROM, MEAN RAPE…AND GET LEMONS TOO.

And I hope it has been a good Friday afternoon. I am honoring the religion of my fathers by pretending to work. That’s like resting, right?

I’m not saying that you can judge an artist by his art, but I wouldn’t have let my teenage daughter carry on with the guy who wrote Mr. Horse and the Shaving Cream Yak. That was a great show, but also majorly weird. However, the Swedish government seems to be okay with it as long as you marry the girl.

I am skeptical of this.

EPA says “no way” to Obama CAFE. Scott Pruitt may go down as the one libertarian bright spot in this administration

And Noor Salman, wife of the piece of shit who shot up the Pulse nightclub in Orlando was found to have done nothing to knowingly help her husband carry out his plan. Too bad the FBI can’t say the same.

Let’s relax to 90’s stoner-folk-pop.