Category: Daily Links

Happy Friday the 13th. Hopefully you’re old enough to know that God’s own shit chute can point at you on any day and date confluence, but I don’t know how those guys in the Cishetero Disaster Timezone do it. In sports, now that the hockey season has started, Bolts, Bruins and Predators all put up 5 in wins. The BJs needed all 4 to beat Washington, and the Sharks beat the Ducks. No pushing and standing around happened in baseball last night. The BoSox are just tearing it up, as are the Angels. Looks like all the Dodger bandwagonners won’t have too far to go when they jump off. And now… the links!

First off, the person to climb the body of the youth hockey team injured and killed in a terrible accident has been found. Tip of the toque to beloved contributor Gordilocks

Science proves communism makes nations poorer and less healthy. Send this to your IFLS commie friends.

CNN is suddenly very concerned about President Trump’s accusers being silenced. Huge turnaround from the Clinton years where they were obsessed with silencing the President’s accusers.

More science: Just one drink a day could shorten your life. Which is why I drink at least two. Also, in a discovery that will shock absolutely no one who has been a part of the restaurant industry, Food Preparation and Serving have the highest incidence of marijuana use.

Triskaidekaphobia you say?

Banquet Salisbury steaks recalled for bone contamination

Conagra Brands has issued a recall for Banquet Salisbury steaks that may be contaminated by foreign material.

According to the USDA, about 135,159 pounds of Salisbury steak products may contain “extraneous materials, specifically bone.”

Bone contamination. Sounds like a very awkward sexual innuendo a biologist came up with.

“So, did you get lucky with that girl at the bar last night?”

“Oh, yeah. She came down with a severe case of bone contamination.”

Slate culls some choice cuts from the Banquet user review site for us:

“The amount of bones in every piece we considered disgusting.”

“We were sadly disappointed that the Salisbury steaks were not edible because of the bones.”

“Me and my wife couldn’t make it through a single steak because of the amount of bones.”

The Hate Birds That Hate are just lonely and lashing out:

Lonely goose runs a fowl, causing chaos in DeBary neighborhood

For weeks, some neighbors said the goose has been nothing but trouble, chasing people and damaging property. Leah Jones Digges took cellphone video of the goose that she said ripped apart her neighbor’s window screens.”He’s also broken several windows,” Digges said. “You can’t even sit out in your yard in peace anymore because of this guy.”

Resident Jennifer Gesule said the goose will also go after neighborhood kids.

“He usually follows the kids home from the bus stop or he tries to attack everyone who is at the bus stop,” she said.

However, residents said the goose wasn’t always so fowl.

“He had a friend and then the friend passed,” Gesule said. “I don’t know what happened with the friend, but his friend died and that’s when the goose went a little bit crazy.”

Of course they are going to act this way with the so-called Mainstream Media giving them cover.

Sometimes a picture does say a thousand words… classy words…

Caption Contest, of course. Winner gets his home address posted on Woodser, the dating site for lonely Bigfeet.

And you can read the story, too, I guess, you know, if you want.

Louisiana law to ban sex with animals wins Senate vote 25 – 10

The state Senate has approved a bill designed to make it clear that bestiality is illegal in Louisiana.

A law on the books prohibits “crimes against nature,” but it also outlaws so-called sodomy and was ruled unconstitutional in 2003.

New Orleans Senator JP Morrell says it’s important that the state has a way to arrest someone for having sex with animals.

He told fellow lawmakers, “God forbid you vote against this bill, good luck explaining it.”

Ten senators did vote against it.

The measure does also specify that previously illegal forms of “sodomy” are no longer against the law.

“Anal sexual intercourse between two human beings shall not be deemed as a crime,” part of the bill states.

The measure now heads to the House of Representatives.

Those 10 brave pervert hold-outs?

John A. Alario, Jr. (R)
Bret Allain (R)
Dan Claitor (R)
Jack Donahue (R)
James R. Fannin (R)
Ryan Gatti (R)
Gerald Long (R)
Beth Mizell (R)
Jonathan Perry (R)
Neil Riser (R)

One party is clearly dedicated to protecting your rights to have sex with animals and the other wants to strip you of these freedoms. Vote accordingly this November.

Also, it’s now a butt-loving paradise in The Pelican State, y’all! I have a great idea for a Lousiana license plate:

Anal Sex: It’s Not Just For Alabamans Anymore

And some music to help you wash that down…

“Order in…Morning Links.”

I’ll get yer links in while the place is still kind of empty. Once the morning rush hits, you’d be lucky to get as much as half a quote of a day old headline, without waiting for 30 minutes at least. So, lets start.

Sports – Baseball… there was some macho strutting and posturing, with remarkably little actual damage for so much “fighting”.  Soccer stuff in Europe made people say “@#$%”. Basketball is now set for its playoffs. THERE WAS NO HOCKEY, I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU HEARD. HOCKEY STARTS AGAIN THIS FALL.

Birthdays – Henry Clay (1777), Beverly Cleary (1916…still alive!), Tiny Tim (1932 – not alive), Herbie Hancock (1940), Ed O’Neill (1946), Tom Clancy (1947), David Letterman (1947), Scott Turow (1949), Shannen Doherty (1971), Brooklyn Decker (1987)…

Links;

• Um, … OK. Didn’t know the Canadian Air Force could, you know, reach Syria. I understand they have something sort of over there…But, way to boldly stand up against Trumputin and the rush to war… I guess.
• I know all of you will be rocked to the core when you read this. I mean, the sacred guardians of the public…are corrupt shitbirds?! Wow, who woulda thunk it?!
• Huh. I don’t think STEVE SMITH is going to be impressed. You know how he hates amateurs…and politicians. I wonder if Western feminists will decry what appears to be a real “rape culture”? Oh, who am I kidding.
• I guess we can start getting an idea of what side the cops are on in the UK. Hint, it ain’t the victim’s side.

Hope those links are savory and satisfying.

Since I mentioned Herbie Hancock…have a predictable music link.

Happy Hump Day…No, not that kind of hump, you degenerates! Middle of the week…you know, “over the hump”… No?  Fine, we’ll make it about camels then. As suggested, the camel we gave an ID card to at Bagram AF will now be the Official Wednesday Camel of Glibs.

Sport – Baseball continues. If your team is not off to a great start, just tell yourself “150 games to go, relax.” If it is doing well, “YEAH!! THIS IS OUR YEAR!!!!” Something else is starting, but I don’t want to talk about it…

Birthdays – Oleg Cassini (1913 – says something about fashion designer…not a space telescope?!), Ethel Kennedy (1928 – she wasn’t the one that got pithed, right?), Jeremy Clarkson (1960), Mark Teixeira(1980), Dakota Richards (1994). Slim pickings today.

Links

• Progsplain this? How many times does something like this have to happen, eh? But, once again, it will be someone or something else’s fault.
• Well, this all sounds calm and not at all alarming. Nothing like waking up to “hey, lets have a lovely war, shall we?”… Now where did I put that Reserve paperwork again?
• There are no ill effects from prohibition or punitive taxation. Pay no attention to any events that say otherwise.
• OK, childish, but this made me snortlaugh all the same.

Well, there you go. Off to commenting with ya!

Welcome to our Tuesday afternoon linkstravaganza. Sorry, all the top hats in the previous post got me into a punning mood. Feel free to assassinate me for it in the comments.

The 8th Wonder of the World (Texas Figurin’) is getting a new lease on life. It appears that no new tax or bond will be be raised.

Cherophobia — the defining quality of Puritanism in general.

I want to get old like this gentleman. 111 and still smoking cigars and drinking whiskey and coke.

This young lady has put out a strong resume for a leading role in the Trump White House Press Operation.

Flat-Earthers are 2-5% of the American population. Given the number of people who think they’re going to win the lottery, I’d rate the oblate-spheroid Earth propaganda educational materials as very effective. On another barely scientific subject — a specific, falsifiable near-term prediction about global temperature [8000 word rant about them being a bad metric for anything elided. edit fairy] readings. Since it actually looks like science, guess the predictions for 2019. The results will shock you!

I think Iggy made it look harder than it was, although his eyes in some of the 70s-era shows make me think he really was trying to sing from a different reality.

I got the call to do links this morning. I think sloopy got trapped in a warehouse full of merchandise he is going to auction…

So…Sport – One team had enough fortitude to take the field in Chicago yesterday (fine, they lost…what do you want, they are rebuilding!). Otherwise, the standings seem a mess. But it is early (just keep telling yourself that…Keep hope alive. Endeavor to persevere.). In Premiership rugby – the playoffs should be fantastic, if what I saw this past weekend is a preview. The Sale Sharks vs Wasps was a sight to behold. The very end featured determined offense, stout defense and terrible injury.

Birthdays – Hugo Grotius (1583), Admiral Matthew Perry (1794), William Booth (Go Salvation Army! 1829), Joseph Pulitzer (1847), Chuck Connors (1921), Max von Sydow (1929), Omar Sharif (1932), John Madden (1936), Steven Segal (1952), Brian Setzer (1959), Mandy Moore (1984), Daisy Ridley (1992).

Links

• A slight step back from Trade Warz rhetoric? God I hope so. My ferverent hope is that Trump will blast out tweets saying “See – victory!!!” and then stop all but maybe a symbolic act or two.
• Our own RC Dean had pretty good analysis of TEH GREAT TRUMP LAWYER RAID yesterday, so did Popehat (Ken). UPDATE: If Popehat is still crashing…try here. HIHN WARNING!!!!
• Cosplayers? Furries? Both? You look, you decide.
• Bot Lives Matter! Oops.

Now then, off to the comments!

OMWC threatened to start driving his Free Candy van around my neighborhood if I didn’t make some actual links. And telling the neighbors why he was there. Since we just had a block (cul-de-sac?) party last weekend where I met and socialized with all of my neighbors, I guess I have something to lose. So let’s get to linking! Whoops, first some SPORTZBALL news — the Chicago Freakin Cubs have postponed their home opener. I once attended a home-opener at Wrigley Field and it is the coldest I ever remember being. Either today’s players really are soft or the AGW is all outside the North-Western quartisphere this spring. Go down to a 144 game season sez I. Take 12 off the front and six off the back.

Only in the UN would disarmament be synonymous with “using against your own people”. Syria to take over chair of the UN chemical weapons disarmament council.

I’m not sure if a former child actress (sorry OMWC) charging topless at Bill Cosby is going to help the plaintiffs. Or maybe the punishment is that she willingly took her top off and he’s too blind to enjoy it?

It ain’t bad enough them La-TEEN-Ohs gotta come here and take our jerbs, but now they’re buyin’ all our gasoline (down there) and costin’ us more at the pump!

Dark Matter experiment that has detected nothing for two decades, now finally sensitive enough to do so — if it exists. The only thing I’ve ever seen Dark Matter do is turn money into the null case repeatedly.

How about some throwback?

What a Masters Sunday!  Except for the ending, anyway.  Thanks to the groundskeepers who forgot to trim one stupid limb, Speith missed his chance to birdie 18 and lock Patrick Reeds’s sphincter up a bit.  Oh well, even assclowns like him win majors from time to time. Also, congrats to University of Minnesoooda-Duluth on their college hockey National Championship. They took on the best of the Big Ten and took em down.  Speaking of hockey, the playoffs are almost set.  I’ll give a little spiel tomorrow once they’re firmed up.

That’s it for sports. I’m buried at work today already. So I’m gonna move on to…the links!

When one senior exec of your social media platform data mining operation has to cancel interviews because she said people should pay them extra for them to protect their data, and your CEO has to take a crash course in how to not be a smarmy, holier-than-thou idiot before their meetings on Capitol Hill to explain what, exactly, they’re doing with personal data, you might have a bit of a problem. If you’re invested in FB, I recommend shorting it as quickly as possible.

Welcome back to the sixties, man. What could possibly go wrong?

Apparently, the Department of Justice will start complying with requests from the people who are literally tasked with overseeing them. Its just a coincidence that they diverted millions in their budget to shredder purchases a week before the announcement, so I’m sure this is going to be transparent and open.

Its not a lie if you believe it. I don’t know, seems there’s a lot of weird shit that can happen to a person in space.  But if Neil didn’t see it, I’m not sure it happened.

In response to a reported gas attack in Syria, someone allegedly attacked Syrian troops. Nobody is taking credit and nobody is assigning blame.  I’m starting to wonder if Syria is even a real place.

The Pacific Pole Championships were this weekend in Los Angeles. And hundreds of gals working their way through college and/or nursing school as well as others showed just how tough it really is. Enjoy art in its highest form, gents.

If we could tie this song into the last link, I’d think that was pretty cool.

Well, have a great day, friends.

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ NEEDS HIS CHOSEN ONES TO UP THEIR GAME, OF SNARKING AT THE BRUTALS WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH. ZARDOZ HAS FALLEN A BIT BEHIND IN KEEPING THE BRUTALS IN THEIR PLACE….THE CHOSEN ONES CAN HELP. THEREFOR, RECEIVE THE GIFT OF THE LINK, AND GO FORTH AND SNARK!

• INTERESTING HOW REUTERS LABELS THE PM OF HUNGARY A “STRONGMAN”. ZARDOZ SEES HE WON A THIRD ELECTION. SO IS ANGELA MERKEL LABELED AS GERMAN “STRONGWOMAN”? ZARDOZ THOUGHT NOT.
• ZARDOZ IS …DISAPPOINTED. ZARDOZ WAS HOPING FOR A HATE FILLED DUEL TO THE DEATH (PREFERABLY BOTH BRUTALS EXPIRING). CIVILITY IS VASTLY OVER-RATED. WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO “GO FORTH AND KILL”?
• ZARDOZ OFFERS THIS, WITHOUT COMMENT. ZARDOZ TRUSTS HIS POINT HAS BEEN MADE.
• ZARDOZ CAN ONLY HOPE THIS IS FRUITLESS – HOW ELSE CAN ZARDOZ END UP WITH A MASS BRUTAL EXTINCTION EVENT?!

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.