Category: Daily Links

Hey Glibs. Did you miss me?

No?

Esta bien. Once again I, your melanin enhanced but totally in a good way guide to the media catering to spanish speakers brought you the links!

Neil Gorsuch throws CNN for a loop.  Its almost like he has principles, which might give him a nuanced opinion of things…or something like that.

La Corte Suprema de EE.UU. invalidó una disposición de la ley federal que exige la deportación obligatoria de inmigrantes que han sido condenados por algunos delitos, argumentando que la ley es inconstitucionalmente vaga.
Como se esperaba después del debate oral, el juez Neil Gorsuch se unió a los jueces más liberales por primera vez desde que se unió a la Corte para producir una mayoría de 5 a 4 invalidando el estatuto federal.
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The Supreme Court of the United States it invalidated a provision of the federal law that requires the mandatory deportation of immigrants who have been convicted of some crimes, arguing that the law is unconstitutionally vague.

As expected after the oral debate, Judge Neil Gorsuch joined the most liberal judges for the first time since joining the Court to produce a 5-4 majority by invalidating the federal statute.

Ice-veined pilot lands flying Greyhound in Philadelphia.

Un vuelo de pasajeros tuvo que aterrizar de emergencia este martes en el aeropuerto de Filadelfia.

Un pasajero a bordo del vuelo 1380 de la aerolínea SouthWest le dice a CNN que el vuelo programado para partir de Nueva York el martes por la mañana rumbo a Dallas fue desviada a Filadelfia cuando el perdieron el motor izquierdo del avión.

Desde el lugar de los hechos se puede ver una gran cantidad de líquido debajo y detrás del lado izquierdo del avión, y a los bomberos ayudando a los pasajeros del avión.
SouthWest dijo que le vuelo salió de LaGuardia en Nueva York cuando algo salió mal. El aterrizaje fue descrito como “seguro”.
En imágenes tomadas en el aeropuerto de Filadelfia se puede ver a los pasajeros desembarcando con calma.
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A passenger flight had to land emergency on Tuesday at the Philadelphia airport.

A passenger aboard flight 1380 of the SouthWest airline tells CNN that the flight scheduled to depart from New York on Tuesday morning bound for Dallas was diverted to Philadelphia when he lost the left engine of the plane.

From the scene you can see a lot of liquid under and behind the left side of the plane, and the firemen helping the passengers of the plane.
SouthWest said the flight left LaGuardia in New York when something went wrong. The landing was described as “safe”.

In images taken at the Philadelphia airport, passengers can be seen disembarking calmly.

Nikki Haley is the latest member of the Tump administration to be contradicted by Trump himself. BECAUSE HE IS TOTALLY IN BED WITH THE RUSSIANS.
Partly serious, because this time it helps them.

El presidente Donald Trump decidió no seguir adelante con un plan preliminar para imponer sanciones adicionales a Rusia, contradiciendo el anuncio hecho por la embajadora ante Naciones Unidas, Nikki Haley.

Las medidas punitivas serían por el apoyo del gobierno de Vladimir Putin al régimen sirio de Bashar al Asad tras el supuesto ataque químico hace un poco más de una semana en un suburbio de Damasco que mató a unas 40 personas, la mayoría civiles.
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President Donald Trump decided not to go ahead with a preliminary plan to impose additional sanctions on Russia, contradicting the announcement made by the ambassador to the United Nations, Nikki Haley.

The punitive measures would be for the support of the government of Vladimir Putin to the Syrian regime of Bashar al Asad after the alleged chemical attack a little over a week ago in a suburb of Damascus that killed some 40 people, mostly civilians.

Preventable crimes are preventable with this one weird trick. Jeff Sessions hates this.

Una pareja de civiles ecuatorianos fue secuestrada en la frontera con Colombia, en la misma zona donde la semana pasada fueron asesinados los tres miembros de un equipo periodístico del diario El Comercio por supuestos disidentes de las FARC vinculados con el narcotráfico.

El ministro ecuatoriano de Defensa, Patricio Zambrano, confirmó este martes que los secuestrados son ecuatorianos, de una provincia cercana a Esmeraldas y desestimó las informaciones, supuestamente con origen en medios colombianos, de que los raptados pudieran ser agentes de las fuerzas de seguridad.

“En ningún caso, ninguna información (indica) que pueden ser agentes (…) No son militares”, subrayó. “Se supone que han salido de viaje y han sido extraídos por parte de los delincuentes en la zona de Esmeraldas, cerca de San Lorenzo”, dijo Zambrano.
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A couple of Ecuadorian civilians was kidnapped on the border with Colombia, in the same area where last week the three members of a journalistic team of the newspaper El Comercio were assassinated by alleged dissidents of the FARC linked to drug trafficking.

The Ecuadorian Minister of Defense, Patricio Zambrano, confirmed on Tuesday that the kidnap victims are Ecuadorians, from a province near Esmeraldas, and dismissed the information, supposedly from Colombian media, that the abductees could be agents of the security forces.
“In no case, any information (indicates) that can be agents (…) are not military,” he said. “They are supposed to have gone on a trip and have been taken by the criminals in the area of Esmeraldas, near San Lorenzo,” said Zambrano.

Mr. Lizard visits Florida motel. Hilarity ensues.

That little guy is newsworthy?

Translation services, as always provided by the Alpha Beta Corporation  who have nothing witty to say to you today, because you’re nothing more to them than small gator running around a motel.

As OMWC alluded to yesterday in his afternoon links, we’re going into a rotation. He does great links. The best. Wonderful links. Sloopy is doing awesome in real life, but that leaves him less time to be the morning linkmeister. So you get my sad, links. Pathetic. In the SPORTZBALL, Army completes the sweep and ousts the Kings for a coup, Winnipeg tightens their grip, and the Senators Capitols get one back. The NBA is only playing every fourth day so who gives a shit? The Marlins shelled the Yankees but somehow ESPN forgot to run 11 stories about it. BoSox win with Ohani leaving early, and your World Champion Houston Astros finally managed to score some. And now… the links!

As best I can tell, National Security Advisor Mustachio Bolton has decided that what we really need is a Lawrence of Arabia strategy to solve Syria. “Which way is Damascus, Sharif?”

Apparently, the internet existed in the days of Mahabharata. Somehow they left that out of the Sutras.

San Francisco, one of the denser areas in modern America blames climate change for poor air quality. Yeah guys. Just like LA in the 80s.

Oh man, imagine that… you can still count on the apathy of youth in these times when a Child Shall Lead Us.

Nate Silver, mediocre Sabermetrician, will move to ABC where he can work with news personalities who have the same relationship to statistics that dogs do a vacuum cleaner. They’re not entirely sure what it is, but it scares them.

 

Here’s a classic for your orphans.

With Sloopy on a bender this week and unable to even see the keyboard, much less type, it has fallen to the rest of us to fill in. Since Brett has been doing double duty, I’m stepping into this steaming pile in his stead. Herewith, the scrapings from the bottom of my shoe:

 

My last conversation with my favorite communist folk singer, he assured me, no question, no doubts whatsoever, that by the summer, we were going to be in a nuclear war with North Korea because of Twitter. “You’ll be sorry that you thought there really wasn’t any difference between Trump and a true statesman like Hillary so threw your vote away on a third party.”  How’s that workin’ out?

 

I shouldn’t be as amused by this as I am. But I am. I’m just not a nice person. Nonetheless, I stand by my prediction that Harris will be the Team Blue presidential nominee in the next cycle. Delightful moment:

On Thursday, Harris was taking audience questions when a man stepped to the mic and zeroed in on her fundraising methods. “If a corporation or a corporate lobbyist wants to give you money for a campaign,” he asked, “will you tell them, ‘Thanks, but no thanks’?”

“Well, it depends,” Harris replied. “It depends.”

The questioner, his arms crossed at the waist, declared this the “wrong answer.”

 

Riddle: what happens when a Minnesota Woman becomes a Florida Woman? Answer: This. While we’re on the subject, the Matriarchy seems to have its own shitlords. Not Florida, but as close as you can get without actually being in Florida.

 

How perfect. Your government, the most efficient and competent organization of all time.

 

I guess this is Starbucks week.

 

The story is amusing. The comments are even more amusing, all variants of “The First Amendment doesn’t apply to people we don’t like.”

 

News You Can Use!

 

And en fin, Old Guy Music, the one and only tune that would be appropriate here.

I have noticed that word caused considerable grammar Nazis and Aspies to change it to “normality”. I have looked for “normality” in my dictionary and I do not find it there. “Normalcy”, however, I did find, and it is a good word.

We are returning to normal here at Glibs. Well, at least for this morning. No cryptids running about, all the tech is working, and I will be off morning link duty starting tomorrow…as I submerge myself in the work my beloved Swiss overseers have allowed me to do. *wipes chin*

So…in the words of the great American Philosopher, Tone Lōc, Let’s Do It.

Birthdays – J.P. Morgan (1837 – tip your top hats, please) William Holden (1918) Olivia Hussey (1951) Maynard Keenan (1964) Liz Phair (1967) Jennifer Garner (1972) Victoria Beckham-Spice (1974)

Sports – All my teams are out of the playoffs or have started their season and suck, hard….so there is nothing to say other than the NBA and NHL (allegedly) are playing off. Euro soccer angers some, delights others. MLB is lying under a curtain of snow and ice.

Links –

• Whatever Cuba was doing to US diplomats, they appear to be doing to Canada now. PM Zoolander hardest hit? I cannot imagine what the Cubans are thinking, especially since Canada has been fairly stalwart in forging a path that is a bit more friendly than that of the US. Go figure.
• Lay your bets as to allegations of poison gas use! Where? Here. Time to go long on missile futures.
• Is there a doctor in the house? Well, one woman thinks at least one particular one is a good fellah. Here, she could run for Congress in certain districts.
• You no steal phone! POW! Somebody buy that man a cigar.
• So much for information being available. Sigh.

 

SNOW AND ICE HAVE DOWNED ALL LINES EXCEPT TELEGRAPH STOP. USING BACKUP TELEGRAPH SO READERS GET LINKS STOP

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LINKS WILL BE FINEST NEWS AVAILABLE STOP HOPEFULLY INTERWEBZ LINES CAN BE REPAIRED FOR LATER POSTS STOP

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SWISS SERVATOR SENDS

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1. STILL WAITING NEWS FROM MICHIGAN STOP UNSURE IF ANYONE ABLE TO GET WORD OUT STOP
2. THESE DRUGS BAD SAYS FEDS STOP USE THESE DRUGS TO FIGHT BAD DRUGS STOP DRUGS APPEAR TO BE ANSWER TO DRUGS STOP
3. FOUND REAL RAPE CULTURE STOP AWAITING WESTERN FEMINIST OUTCRY STOP ALSO WONDERING IF STEVE SMITH HEADED THERE TO PUNISH AMATEURS STOP
4. WOULD BE REMISS IF DID NOT PROVIDE LINK TO TELEGRAPH STOP THIS STORY CAUSED MUCH LAUGHTER STOP

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END

SEA SMITH FIND SHIP CARRYING BEER. CALL FRIEND NINGEN OVER TO HELP SELF TO CARGO. SEA SMITH HELP SELF TO CREW, IF KNOW WHAT SEA SMITH MEAN. FRIEND NINGEN ONLY SAY “BLOOP”. BUT HE LOOK HAPPY, SO HE MUST LIKE PLAN.

SEA SMITH LEAVE YOU LINKS TO TALK ABOUT, WHILE HE AND NINGEN KNOCK OFF FOR NIGHT.

• SEA SMITH SEE HOW MUCH GUITAR GO FOR. HE WISH HE HAVE GUITAR! BUT SEA WATER NOT HELPFUL… SO HE STICK WITH SINGING.
• SEA SMITH ASK…WHO ALWAYS WIN? LAWYERS ALWAYS WIN.
• THIS NOT LOOK GOOD. SEA SMITH WONDER IF GET VIOLENT SOON. MAYBE HE SWIM OVER TO BALEARIC ISLANDS AND HANG OUT FOR WHILE. CHECK OUT TOURISTS ON BEACH. BY CHECK OUT, MEAN RAPE.
• SEA SMITH HEAR RUSSIAN BOTS ARE COMING!

SOUND LIKE NINGEN STOP SHIP, SO SEA SMITH GO JOIN PARTY. HOPE YOU HAVE FUN NIGHT TOO!

SAD UPDATE: SEA SMITH SAD HE FAVORITE MARINE GONE.

 

As I read through this morning’s news, I kept thinking, “This all has to be some elaborate prank. Right now, the editorial boards of all the major media outlets are all together at a bar laughing their asses off at us.” As I hear the ice storm raging outside, I’m visualizing the “science” editors busily composing stories on how this is a sign or global warming. Well, I’m inside, I’m warm, and I have grappa in my coffee, so… here’s some of the stories that caught my attention.

I shouldn’t be amazed at the lionization of the notoriously violent and corrupt Winnie Mandela by the Left, but somehow, I can’t help but be. This story was perfect.

Members of the governing party’s women’s league, wearing green and black, who attended Madikizela-Mandela’s memorial service this past week ululating in the stands of the stadium, added: “She didn’t die, she multiplied” to their tuneful chants.

This refrain has caught fire.

C’mon, are you going to tell me that the NPR folks aren’t in hysterics and high-fiving? In any case, if she is indeed multiplying, I strongly advise buying stock in Goodyear, Michelin, Hangkook, and Cooper.

 

Speaking of fire, here’s another one that got the editors in giggling fits. I could make the obvious lawyer jokes (“A good start!”) but good taste prevents me from doing so. Regarding a protest against fossil fuels that adds a load of CO2 to the atmosphere, I could say, “The irony, it burns!” but that would be needlessly cruel.

 

I have always assumed that after his shows, Art Bell would go off with his buddies who had just changed out of their space aliens costumes and have celebratory drinks. Well, Art has made the last call. You were always entertaining, and you inspired one of my favorite characters of all time, Happy Harry Cox (“They call me Happy because I am happy!”). Thanks for all the fun, Art!

 

The Pope can reliably generate null-content but nonetheless sanctimonious verbal mush.  And I also assume he giggles like a little girl once he’s off-camera. “They didn’t ask me how many divisions I have! HAHAHAHAHA!”

 

OK, Old Guy Music time yet again. I’m not a big fan of soul/funk, but I always had a soft spot for Tower of Power. And when they step out of their genre and do the blues, well… Here’s a terrific cover of an Albert King classic, with some delightfully tasty guitar work.

 

 

STEVE SMITH HAPPY TO SEE FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE. IT BEEN BUSY WEEK FOR STEVE SMITH. HIM HAVE HIPPY MUSIC FESTIVAL IN WOODS NEARBY AND TOUR BUS STOP NEAR STEVE SMITH’S CAVE. THAT LOT OF RAPE. SO NOW STEVE SMITH RELAX WITH LINKS.

1. STEVE SMITH LIKE GO BACK, LOOK AT OLD STORIES OF “BIGFOOT SIGHTINGS”. MAKE STEVE SMITH LAUGH. HIM NOT IN FRESNO. FAMILY NOT IN FRESNO. NOT SURE WHAT THEY SEE. IT NOT OLD ROOMMATE, SKUNK-APE…HIM LIVE IN FLORIDA. SILLY BIGFOOT HUNTERS.
2. EUROPEAN PEOPLE SAY “YOU NAUGHTY” TO TURKEY. GIVE BAD REPORT CARD. STEVE SMITH SURE TURKEY SAD NOW AND PROMISE BE GOOD…OR NOT.
3. STEVE SMITH KNOW A FEW THING ABOUT RAPE. SO HIM WONDER HOW STATUE IS RAPIST? OR GUY DEAD FOR 200 YEARS IS RAPIST? PEOPLE SILLY.
4. IT DAY WHERE SILLY BRITISH PEOPLE HAVE BIG HORSE RACE – THEY GET DRUNK, DRESS FUNNY AND MAKE STEVE SMITH LAUGH.

Well, I do not lack for news today, which is a good thing because I spent most of yesterday at a consumer electronics trade show, stumbling around in a daze. The only thing that sustained me was a few stiff drinks and the amusement at both the number of companies peddling blatant snake-oil and the conversations among the dummies lapping it up. Sometimes, being a scientist is painful, especially when I realize that Bill Nye and IFSL are the main sources of public education. The positive side was that the other half of the convention center was occupied by some sort of dance contest for teenage girls. Many of the attendees of the trade show (99% male) are likely going to hell now. Anyway, news:

A wise fellow once observed that while history does not repeat itself, it often rhymes. Remember when Bill Clinton would heave a couple of cruise missiles into some remote shithole when he needed a distraction from a somewhat zealous special prosecutor? Pepperidge Farms remembers.

The Donald giveth, The Donald taketh away. When he does something right, all praise to him. Though one can question the motive here, the result is a good one from a libertarian perspective. Now I can only hope he decides that opioids aren’t a crisis nor a proper issue for government to deal with- which of course is as likely as Ellen Degeneres releasing her sex tape with Mr. T.

I’m so happy that with the massive financial and regulatory crises facing Illinois, our lawmakers are fearlessly and forthrightly attaching the important issues. Especially forty years after the fact. In other local news, the gay community has reason to celebrate.

Well, it was fun while it lasted. Now back to doing something useful, like digging tunnels.

Old Guy Music, and this one will bring down the wrath of Mossad on my (((head))). I discovered Leon Thomas when I was a teenager and was fascinated by the things he did with his voice. He talked about it as an African technique, but let’s call it what it really is- yodeling. Not the pitiful shit of a Slim Whitman, this is REAL yodeling of the sort that would make Swiss swoon. Here’s a song by the great Pharaoh Sanders featuring Thomas doing his thing.

Don’t worry, Donald! Chris Cillizza’s got your back!

The 11 most eye-opening lines in James Comey’s ‘A Higher Loyalty,’ ranked

10. “I stared at the soft white pouches under his expressionless blue eyes. I remember thinking in that moment that the president doesn’t understand the FBI’s role in American life.”

Again, the fact that Trump has “soft white pouches” under his “expressionless blue eyes” feels more like an unnecessary jab than an essential insight. BUT, Comey’s next sentence is important — because he’s right. Trump has demonstrated time and time again that he simply doesn’t understand — or doesn’t care about — the unique role the Justice Department plays within the federal government. Yes, they work under him. But they don’t exactly work for him. He’s never seemed to get that.

…

7. “He brought up what he called the ‘golden showers thing’ . . . adding that it bothered him if there was ‘even a 1 percent chance’ his wife, Melania, thought it was true….In what kind of marriage, to what kind of man, does a spouse conclude there is only a 99 percent chance her husband didn’t do that?”

Don’t be too quick to dismiss this as simply salacious. Yes, there is that. But it is absolutely telling about the state of Trump’s marriage that he was asking the FBI director to prove the falsehood of the “pee tape” to his wife — almost certainly because she wouldn’t believe him.

Then there’s the fact that Trump seems to believe that proving the tape doesn’t exist to Melania Trump is a worthy use of the FBI’s time. Which is, um, something.

…

2. “The silent circle of assent. The boss in complete control. The loyalty oaths. The us-versus-them worldview. The lying about all things, large and small, in service to some code of loyalty that put the organization above morality and above the truth.”

In this excerpt, Comey is comparing Trump to a mob boss. Which is a tough comparison to make when you are dealing with the President of the United States. But, Comey is right in the main when it comes to how Trump sees himself and how he leads his team. Trump must always be the strongest and toughest one in any room. He expects total loyalty from those who work for him — and works to rid his inner circle of those he believes have shown even a speck of disloyalty to him. He doesn’t tell the truth about things that are easily and provably false — largest inauguration crowd ever, millions of illegal votes cast — and then dares those around him to question him.

I don’t know any mob bosses personally but there’s not [sic] question that Comey nails Trump here.

Hmm…

I don’t know any mob bosses personally but there’s not [sic] question that Comey nails Trump here.

I can’t even. It’s almost too sad to rip on.

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Top plastic surgeon ‘killed lover by sprinkling cocaine on his PENIS before she performed sex act on him’

A top plastic surgeon has been accused of killing a lover with cocaine after sprinkling it on his PENIS before she performed a sex act on him.

Andreas Niderbichler, 42, has been arrested after a woman, 38, reportedly collapsed and died after performing oral sex on him at his home in hospital grounds.

Police are now probing claims he gave three more women the drug – who reportedly suffered no side serious effects – during sexual encounters.

Police believe he sprinkled the drug on his penis beforehand, local media report.

As a plastic and reconstructive surgery expert he practiced nationwide and detectives say there may be many more victims.

I have never put cocaine on my penis. Rumors to that effect are just that, rumors.

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Don’t dress sexy’ advice triggers an echo of #MeToo in Thailand

A government official’s suggestion that women should dress conservatively to avoid sexual harassment during the nation’s new year festival has sparked a rebuttal under the hashtag #DontTellMeHowToDress.

Crowded water-gun battles that leave revellers soaked are a distinctive feature of the Songkran celebrations from Friday through Sunday, prompting the official to warn women against wearing revealing outfits. At least one survey indicates harassment is pervasive during the festival.

Cindy Bishop, a Bangkok-based Thai-American model, actress and television celebrity, said she created #DontTellMeHowToDress to put the onus back on how men behave instead of the way women dress. Her video on the topic has been viewed almost 500,000 times on Facebook and Instagram, and the hashtag has created more buzz in Thailand than #MeToo.

“Maybe the reason this is taking off faster is because they’re not coming out and accusing anyone,” Ms Bishop said. “Our society is quite conservative, and for someone to come out and point a finger at someone who’s assaulted her is huge, I don’t know if we’re ready for it yet.”

Rumors to the effect that I put cocaine on what I hope wasn’t this woman’s penis are just that, rumors.

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