Category: Daily Links

Pittsburgh sent Philly packing. Nashville did the same to Colorado. Tampa dismissed New Jersey. The MINNESOOOOOOOOOODA WIIIIIIILD were tamed by Winnipeg. Vegas pounded the Kings. And the Sharks rolled the Ducks.  That leaves Washington with a 3-2 series lead over Columbus and Boston sitting the same against Toronto.  Enjoy those two wrapping as the winners get a chance to heal up before the second round. The NBA are also playing playoff games.  Enjoy them as well, if you dare.

Across the pond, the FA Cup final is set. Man United will face Chelsea. UCL Semifinals play the first leg this week. And Mo Salah, the King Of Egypt, was named PFA Player Of The Year.

I’ll finish the sports beat with an ESPN prediction that’s even more retarded than the shit they usually write. At a minimum, they have wildly overestimated the WNBA’s ability to draw more than a few hundred people a game.  I’ll let you read the rest.

William Shakespeare, English poet and playwright (according to some, thief of Marlowe according to others) was born on this date.  He died on it as well. As was William Penn. They share it with luminaries such as Vladimir Nabokov, Shirley Temple, Lee Majors, Sandra Dee, lards Michael Moore, the unfunny John Oliver, the lovely Joanna Krupa and rassler John Cena.  Happy Birthday to all of you.

That’s it, time for…the links!

So it turns out that the Waffle House shooter was obviously insane. And the feds know all of this and still let him go rather than have him committed when he decided to have an unscheduled meeting with Trump last year by scaling the White House fence.  That’s some good police work there, Lou.

Only in Chicago can the Circuit Court Clerk who has been under investigation for years based on her corruption, run for Mayor. Has she even paid off the right people to get to that point in her career?  I thought she was still in the doling-out-favors-for-campaign-cash stage.  Heh, maybe she’s collected enough scratch to buy a favor or two herself.  I don’t have my Chicago Political Calculator out yet, so I can’t do the math.

If you’ve got the money to pay for dog cancer surgery, I guess you won’t mind when you find out it wasn’t cancer after all. (On a slightly related note, we miss you Bernie.)

Christ, what an asshole. But don’t worry.  She’ll still get her full pension.

Posted without comment because I was never involved in Cub Scouts or Boy Scouts. But I know quite a few of you were, so I thought it might interest you.

Kanye West speaks out on the benefits of diversity in the political opinions of minority communities.  And then promptly finds out how much the left really believes in diversity.

That’s all for me. I’m getting back on the road again for the rest of this week.  But I did get two nights in my own bed.  And I should be home for a few weeks straight after this trip. Yay!

Well anyway, it was good to be back for the links. Even if it was just this once. But I shall return…

SEA SMITH ON DECK FOR … LINKS. YES, HE MOST OFTEN ON DECK OF SHIP FOR RAPE. BUT TONIGHT, HE HAVE LINKS. FOR YOU.

THEN SEA SMITH GO INVESTIGATE “SOS” HE HEAR EARLIER. WHEN SEA SMITH ARRIVES, SOS MEAN “SAVE OUR SPHINCTERS”! HA! SEA SMITH MAKE SELF LAUGH. SO, HERE LINKS;

1. SEA SMITH THINK HE PAY VISIT TO EVIL ENGLAND PEOPLE. BY PAY VISIT, MEAN THROW IN OCEAN.
2. SPEAK OF EVIL PEOPLE. WHAT THEM DO? THEY JUST WANT VOTE! THIS MAKE SEA SMITH SAD.
3. THAT ENOUGH EVIL PEOPLE, HOW ABOUT HERO INSTEAD? THIS MAKE SEA SMITH HAPPY.
4. SEA SMITH CONFUSED. YOU READ STORY AND MAKE SENSE OF WHAT HAPPEN THERE….WITH FORMER COMMIE PRESIDENT NOW TRY FIX WELFARE AND GET RIOTS, LOOTING. MAKE SEA SMITH HEAD SWIM.  GET IT? HA. SEA SMITH MAKE GOOD JOKE.

SEA SMITH GO NOW…HEAR SOS SIGNAL AGAIN!

Last night, SP and I continued our Frank Capra kick by re-screening the great 1936 classic Mr. Deeds Goes To Town. It was a perfect Capra film, with The Little Guy against the forces of corruption, adoring crowds, hats thrown in the air, and Jean Arthur, who likely got some exposure to a Hollywood legend, the profound penis of Gary Cooper. Comedy, romance, betrayal, it had it all. Fun fact: this movie was responsible for a now-common neologism, “to doodle.”

Uh, that’s a word we made up back home for people who make foolish designs on paper when they’re thinking: it’s called doodling. Almost everybody’s a doodler; did you ever see a scratchpad in a telephone booth? People draw the most idiotic pictures when they’re thinking. Uh, Dr. von Hallor here could probably think up a long name for it, because he doodles all the time.

And delightfully, the progressive millionaire gives away his own money instead of going after everyone else’s.

From what I can see, no matter what system of government we have, there will always be leaders and always be followers. It’s like the road out in front of my house. It’s on a steep hill. Every day I watch the cars climbing up. Some go lickety-split up that hill on high, some have to shift into second, and some sputter and shake and slip back to the bottom again. Same cars, same gasoline, yet some make it and some don’t. And I say the fellas who can make the hill on high should stop once in a while and help those who can’t. That’s all I’m trying to do with this money. Help the fellas who can’t make the hill on high.

This really is one of my favorite movies ever. It’s perfect. Much better than Jaws.

OK, I’ll leave movie criticism to the pros like our good Lt Fish, but I did want to plug something great. Oh, and pizza and wine because it was Saturday night.

Now that it’s Sunday morning, I’d best sober up and crank out some links, since no-one else is gonna do it.

I’m always amused, in a sick way, at the amount of power that the Left hands to the insanely tiny minority of losers in life who cling to actual racism to justify their own lack of achievement. One more example. In the meantime, they keep electing actual bigots and even give them high positions in the Team Blue power structure…

Another story where I hate everybody– the Trump administration, the Iranians, the idiots who go visit there and are shocked when they’re predictably imprisoned by a ruthless and dictatorial regime to be used as pawns.

As much disdain as I have for the Donald, the TDS crowd is even more contempt-worthy. But at least it all provides laughs and entertainment.

There’s no southern White House. This is a dog whistle. The whole south will rise BS. They lost. They have no WH. Before he called it the Winter WH. Now Southern? It’s all about making the racist south supporters believe that he’s with them. He knows it’s going down soon.

And in the Department of Nutpunch, brave men in blue, officer safety, procedures were followed, everyone got to go home safely. Except the poor kid who died, of course, but that’s just a civilian.

Ahhh, Starbucks, you never disappoint!

We always joke about common sense knife control. But I see a trend here…

EDIT: Breaking news, too good to miss!

Old Guy Music! For whatever reason, I fell into a drummer rabbit hole yesterday and started watching videos with all my favorites: Roy Haynes, Elvin Jones, Charlie Persip, Ed Thigpen… but the one that really captivated me was Gene Krupa. He had almost a melodic approach to drumming, and a barely controlled wild intensity that reminded me of the greatest rock drummer ever, Keith Moon. Feast your ears- and, by the way, Lionel Hampton shows again why no-one should ever bother trying to play vibes again since perfection has been reached.

STEVE SMITH NOT HAPPY – WEATHER PUT CRIMP IN NUMBER OF HIKERS AND TOURISTS. IT HARD FOR STEVE SMITH MAKE QUARTERLY RAPE NUMBERS UNLESS GET NICE SOON. ALSO, HIM SEE SOME NEWS THAT MAKE STEVE SMITH NOT HAPPY. SOME NEWS MAKE STEVE SMITH MAD. HIM SHARE WITH FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE:

• STEVE SMITH KNOW THIS MAKE GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE MAD, LIKE STEVE SMITH. STEVE SMITH ADOPT (MOSTLY) GLIBERTARIAN SLOGAN – “RAPE OFF, SLAVER”. BY RAPE OFF, MEAN RAPE SLAVER.
• THIS MAKE STEVE SMITH SAD. HIM FUNNY GUY. NOT KNOW WHAT THEY DO FOR “MINI-ME” NOW?
• STEVE SMITH SEND THIS LINK OUT AS DEDICATION TO A GLIBERTARIAN POWER THAT BE. IF STEVE SMITH EVER GET ONE, HIM SHARE.
• NOT SURE IF STEVE SMITH SHOULD BE SUSPICIOUS, OR HAPPY. MAYBE HIM BE BOTH.

STEVE SMITH REMIND FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE….WHEN TROUBLES GET TO YOU, HIT THEM ON HEAD WITH BIG ROCK!

SP and I greatly love watching classic movies, which is why we have trouble taking crap like Jaws or Rocky seriously. Though we did imagine a mashup where the grunting midget gets eaten by the big rubber fish. I remember as a kid that when I’d go to movie theaters in black neighborhoods, it was perfectly OK, if not expected, that the audience would vocally interact with the characters on the screen to an extent that I didn’t see in (say) our Jewish neighborhood. I have fond memories of the horror triple features on Saturday afternoons at the Biddle Theater. “LOOK OUT, HONEY, HE HIDING BEHIND THE DOOR!”

It is fun, I admit, to have an outspokenly libertarian wife who, with a few drinks in her, will do as much yelling at the screen as did my fellow Baltimoreans, though with a slightly different viewpoint. Last night, we watched the old and wonderful epic Robin Hood, packed to the gills with my favorite actors- though unfortunately lacking Spring Byington. SP did not disappoint. “FUCK OFF, SLAVER!” “WHY DO YOU EVEN FUCKING NEED A KING?” “SHUT YOUR PIE-HOLE AND KILL THE GUY ALREADY!” “WHY ARE YOU GUYS ALL FEASTING WHEN THERE’S STARVING PEOPLE IN THE COPSE NEXT TO YOU? IS THAT YOUR REVOLUTIONARY PROGRESSIVISM???”

She is indeed a demure delight.

Anyway, enough with the shit that amused me, let’s see what today’s news brings us.

When you’re dealing with crazy, it helps to act even crazier. This seems to have actually had an effect.

Apparently, rubbernecking at a corpse is a popular past-time.

Surprise, surprise, Hamas still likes doin’ the thing it does so very well. This time, the “He’s just a yoot, he din do nuffin!” gambit and their own unique take on 4/20. But in exchange for having a bunch of their dumber people killed, they did have a major accomplishment- driving away Natalie Portman. Totally worth it, guys, keep up the good work!

Illinois may consider importing its next governor, just to keep alive our fine traditions. And on the same theme, Washington, DC may have found its next city councilman. Read the comments, they are a delight.

How’s that gun control working out for you, California?

If Twin Cities drivers are as frighteningly bad as the ones here in Chicagoland, I have total sympathy here.

And inevitably, Old Guy Music. And holy shit, what a lineup! If you want to know why Charlie Parker is a god, here’s the evidence.

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. YOU HAVE BEEN RAISED FROM BRUTALITY, TO KILL THE BRUTALS WHO MULTIPLY, AND ARE LEGION. TO THIS END, ZARDOZ YOUR GOD GAVE YOU THE GIFT OF THE GUN. THE GUN IS GOOD! BUT CERTAIN BRUTALS HAVE GOT IT IN MIND THAT THEY MUST BAN THE GIFT. THIS CANNOT BE PERMITTED. ARM YOURSELVES…WITH KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT THESE BRUTALS ARE TRYING, THAT YOU MAY GO FORTH AND THWART THEM.

1. ZARDOZ DID NOT KNOW THAT THE MEAN STREETS OF BOULDER WERE STREWN WITH SHELL CASINGS, AND RESOUNDED WITH THE PROLONGED BLASTS OF “ASSAULT WEAPONS”. PERHAPS ZARDOZ SHOULD VISIT THIS WAR-TORN HELLSCAPE TO PICK UP SOME POINTERS.  FOR THAT COULD BE THE ONLY REASON THEY SEEK SUCH AN ORDINANCE.
2. EDUCATION IS ALL WELL AND GOOD, BUT ZARDOZ THINKS THAT THIS EFFORT IS NOT GOING TO GET THROUGH TO THE BRUTALS WHO WANT TO TAKE AWAY THE GIFT OF THE GUN. ALSO NOTE THE PAPER’S …CHOICE OF PHOTOS.
3. TEAM BLUE BRUTALS VIE TO SEE WHO IMPAIR THE GIFT OF THE GUN THE MOST!
4. SPEAKING OF TEAM BLUE, AND CONTROLLING THE GIFT OF THE GUN. ZARODZ NOTES ACTIVITY IN THE BRUTAL STATE THAT GAVE YOU JOE BIDEN.

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

Gutentag, Glibertariat! It’s Friday. I hope you’re all enjoying it. Now the depressing state of the world…except the bit about the Commonwealth, it’s emotionally neutral…just like its new leader.

Multistate Outbreak of E. coli O157:H7 Infections Linked to Chopped Romaine Lettuce. I know this is oldish news, but the affected area keeps expanding. You officially have Glib permission to throw a tantrum is someone serves salad…for now.

‘World’s worst’ super-gonorrhoea man cured. *Books flight to Thai red-light district immediately* This is a gentle and slightly drippy reminder that you should wear a condom during your sex tourism and we should probably up our game in the microbial arms race, because staph and gonorrhea certainly have.

No Surprise: Charles to Succeed Queen as Commonwealth Head. Huh, I remember talking about this over drinks with folks from various Commonwealth countries a decade ago and they thought Charles would never lead the Commonwealth because of his intense blandness, so I’m surprised, but whatever.

China has a few animal welfare stories recently: Kangaroo in zoo dies after being pelted by bricks from tourists trying to see it hop and China black market demand for ‘cocaine of the sea’ pushes two marine species closer to extinction in Mexico. The population of vaquita–the cutest cetacean you never knew you needed more of in your life–is down to 12 because the Chinese want totoba swim bladders for beauty reasons. The supply has dwindled and demand is high enough that they can go for over twenty grand, and as such have become valuable purely for their rarity.

In memoriam:

Avicii

Gooooood Morning, friends. I am bright-eyed and bushy tailed this morning. All the emo crap from yesterday is GONE. And man, isn’t the SRV style coffee AWESOME?!! In sportzball news, The Bruins and the Caps won. In beisbol, Seattle appears to be just what the Astros needed to get back on track, but holy moly are the Red Sox on a tear. Cubs beat the Cards, D-backs won, Orioles lose to Detroit… and now, the links!

[UPDATE: It appears that the powerful herb has crossed up some signals here at Glibs world headquarters. I am condensing the links together. Sorry if you commented on the wrong links and your wisdom is forever doomed to wander the Internet Tubes unread]

Trump hires Guiliani, two other lawyers he won’t be disciplined enough to listen to.

Goddam, Florida Man. BTW, CBS says they won’t release how the shooter died, but news sources last night say the guy shot the two deputies, then himself.

Two low-credibility businesses part ways, both breathe sighs of relief.

Happy 4/20, and remember, stoned driving is dangerous slow driving.

OK, Team Red…legalize. So sayeth Bloomberg (the news service, not the nanny).

In that same vein…If Session gets kicked in the nuts/shunted aside, TRUMP BOOM in weed?

So many good songs to choose from. I guess I’ll go here.

What’s up, Glibs? I have an advanced case of ennui, and don’t feel like enacting anyone’s labor today, including mine. Also, I’ve been whistling the fucking M*A*S*H theme ever since I read Q’s article. I just want to take a nap. Its an easy fucking life I have.

Florida Man is fucking killing it with the crazy/stupid in my neck of the woods.

OPEC dreams of $100/bbl oil. Please. It won’t stay above $80 and WTI isn’t to $70 yet. Let’s not get overwrought. I continue to hear that there are plenty of proven non-producing wells that will fire back up if the WTI price gets over $75.

I’m not sure which part of this is the saddest. The fact that Olympic gymnasts can be had for a loaf of bread like a Venezuelan prostitute, probably. What a profoundly fucked up

And finally, Andrew McCabe’s day is getting worse. I’ll bet he never foresaw the day when he’d lose his pension AND have charges referred when he decided to help the new boss before she was actually his boss.

So here you go. The obvious song is obvious.