All right! Glib-fit is back. I love a chance to practice my creative fiction! I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday. I took a nap with a sick kid because you really expect me to work when I’m tired and my pathetic little snot angel says, “Daddy. Way down!”? Yeah. No go.

I know this was probably linked in the earlier articles, but I’m gonna lead with it. The shooting in Santa Fe, down south of Houston sucks. Go find somewhere else to be a murderous asshole. I am glad they took him alive. Its an encouraging trend and I hope it continues so the next generation of fanbois can watch documentaries of Cruz and this guy saying, “I hate prison. I hate it. I wish I’d died.”

On the opposite side, here’s a great effort by people to bring functional prostheses to young children. I love that they call them “bionic kids”.

I’m not sure who the bad guys are in all of this, but I don’t see many good ones.

Oh noes, does this mean the Dave Matthews Band can never play again? (fingers crossed)

Might want headphones from this one — its a little profanely grumpy.

I know there are a lot of Glibs Caps fans out there. So I won’t dwell on last night’s game too much.  But I gotta say, they should call the DC Police on Andrei Vasilevskiy for grand larceny.  Jesus, I haven’t seen a performance between the pipes like that since that stupid, twitchy asshole Patrick Roy tore through the playoffs with Les Canadiens that one year (I can’t be arsed to look it up, but I’m sure somebody will refresh my memory). Or maybe Dominic Hasek in his golden years.  Suffice to say, if they fail to win this series, the Capitals will look to this game as the reason why.

No basketball, because the NBA needs 4 days between playoff games.  What, are the players walking from Boston to Cleveland?  COME ON!!!!! Also, The Dodgers won a game to avoid being swept by the Marlins after they were swept in 4 by the Reds. The defending NL Champs are 2 games ahead of having the worst record in the entire National League. Elsewhere, the first place Astros were off yesterday.

IF you have a birthday today, you share it with Tsar Nicholas II, last Tsar of Russia, Crown Prince Ruprecht, filmmaker Frank Capra, Tennis player and clothier to Mods Fred Perry, the last rally great pontiff, Saint John Paul II, “Mr October” Reggie Jackson, Chinese actor Chow Yun Fat, Canadien hero Jari Kurri, rapper Rob Base, sometimes funny woman Tina Fey and my brother.

It was also the day Napoleon was declared Emperor by the French Senate. Christopher Marlowe, author of such plays as Othello and The Merchant Of Venice, is arrested for heresy. Great Britain declares war on France (for the umpteenth time) in 1756, Britain declares war on France in 1803. And Dracula is published in London.

You get all that?  Good!  Now its time for…the links!

Trump to cut government funding for elective medical procedure.  Good! Unless you’re an empowered woman, who freaks out because you might have to pay for your own medical care.

Wow, what the fuck is wrong with people? He gets points for honesty in describing things.  The writer of the story loses points for dishonest reporting in trying to tie guns to the killings as more than just a tool the killer used.

And I think its gonna be a long, long time…before this guy gets out of jail.

Holy shit! An Illinois politician tries to stem the tide of gun grabbing assholery. Did I wake up in bizarro world?

Companies anxious to get sued send products to Charlotte, NC.  Seriously, who in their right mind, in this litigious age, would just put electric scooters out there for people to rent at their own convenience on busy city streets and sidewalks?  They’ll be bankrupt within a year.

Say cheese…you stupid, drunk asshole.

And I bet this was an awkward visit to the veterinarian.  I mean…yeah.

Bonus link: new small business opens in Houston area.

A classic from the birthday boy.

Th-, th-, th-, that’s all folks!

People often say to me, “SP, you are the queen of my heart.”

Well, what’s the percentage in that?!

You have no doubt noticed that with the run-up to this weekend’s Royal wedding, my family, although not inbred, has been doing its best to emulate the British Royal Family these past 36 hours:

1. We have purely ceremonial powers
2. We expect to be idolized and feted simply for being born
3. We meddle and make pronouncements about all manner of things
4. Webdominatrix and I rock tiaras
5. We’re a Royal PITA and you can’t get rid of us

However, in yet another gracious act of Queenly benevolence, I will bestow upon my loyal subjects…the links.

Way to smash the patriarchy!

And this just in. More women smashing patriarchies and glass ceilings…or lungs, kneecaps, whatever.

Suuuurrrrre, it’s healthier to quit smoking cigarettes. Older story but amused me.

Hey, I can’t prove it wasn’t.

Who?

Answer: SugarFree stories.

Well, I wasn’t going there anyway.

Never apologize. And… Laurel.

Have a terrific rest of your day, Glibs. And don’t forget to bow down before me!

Well, SP does morning links yesterday, Web Dominatrix does an article last night, and here I am doing links today. We’re running out of family members here to write this shit.

I’m just back from my second technical conference in two weeks. Fortunately, I didn’t have to fly to it, it was within a day’s drive. Unfortunately, I had an invited paper to present, which meant wearing a suit. This is particularly annoying because in a suit, I look like an elderly and chubby side-show monkey, and really, I became a scientist because it was a profession that would not require me to be in business attire. Even worse, I couldn’t have my emotional support polar bear with me because of the hot weather.

Oh, and I hear, “Laurel.”

On to the news:

 

Europe, always a bastion of free speech.

Wilders has lived in safe houses under 24-hour guard since 2004 to protect him from Islamist militants who threaten to kill him. He says Islam is a fascist ideology, and has called for halting immigration from Muslim countries, shutting mosques and banning the Koran.

So he’s (correctly) complaining that the government wants to shut down his freedom of speech, while happily calling for banning of a book and ending religious freedom. I really do hate everyone in this story. He does have great hair, though. You gotta give him that.

 

This story amazes me. Not because the lawyer was an asshole, but because people acted so shocked and surprised that a New York Jewish lawyer would be an asshole. Inconceivable! What doesn’t surprise me is the functional illiteracy of both the guy who started the outrage cycle and the moron who wrote the article.

“They where on there [sic] lunch time and ordering there [sic] food and just because they where speaking in Spanish to the waiter this asshole jumps in and started to call the waiter and my wife and her best friend all types of names and threatened to call I.C.E on them and the employees,” Suazo wrote. “What a big man talking down to couple of women and a helpless employee. I wish someone tells me I can’t speak in my native language! First of all they wasn’t talking to you!!”

 

Could this actually be real? Maurauding packs of wiener dogs?

Original reports that the dogs that attacked Garcia were pit bulls proved not to be true, Bryant said.

 

WTF is it with Canadians? Best comment:

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

 

Someone needs to explain to me why racial segregation is now something promoted by black people.

“There is a spirit that is over this city that has to be brought down. A spirit of racism and division,” [Birmingham mayor] Woodfin said in a Facebook post. “We have to change the conversation to what we need it to evolve into. Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that,” the post went on to say.

Didn’t Woodfin get the memo? Only white people can be racist.

 

I think I’ll sit down and have a drink.

 

Old Guy Music! I wish Milt Buckner got the credit he deserved. He had a unique “locked hands” method of playing, very chord heavy. Here’s his take on a great Neal Hefti standard, and I probably need not point out that Jo Jones may have been a perfect drummer. His timing was… well… remarkable.

¡Buenas tardes Glibs!  They Glibertariati decided to pull me from the bullpen this afternoon to deliver you the links.

A 4.9 magnitude earthquake hits Mexico.  No word as of yet (1030ET) as to damages to life or property, but I assume rescue crews are chomping at the bit.

Un sismo de magnitud 4,9 sacudió este miércoles a 15 kilómetros al noroeste de Arcelia, México, informó el Servicio Geológico de Estados Unidos (USGS).

El sismo había sido previamente reportado por el Servicio Sismológico Nacional de México, que dio una magnitud inicial de 5,3 y posteriormente de 5,2.

Según USGS el sismo se produjo a una profundidad de 81,2 kilómetros.

En Ciudad de México se activó la alerta sísmica y en Guerrero la Secretaría de Protección Civil “activó los protocolos de prevención en todo el estado, tras él sismo registrado la mañana de este miércoles con epicentro en el municipio de Arcelia, a fin de descartar cualquier riesgo para la población”, informaron en un comunicado.

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An earthquake of magnitude 4.9 shook Wednesday 15 kilometers northwest of Arcelia, Mexico, reported the United States Geological Survey (USGS).

The earthquake had previously been reported by the National Seismological Service of Mexico, which gave an initial magnitude of 5.3 and later of 5.2.

According to USGS, the earthquake occurred at a depth of 81.2 kilometers.

In Mexico City the seismic alert was activated and in Guerrero the Secretariat of Civil Protection “activated the prevention protocols throughout the state, after the earthquake registered this Wednesday morning with the epicenter in the municipality of Arcelia, in order to rule out any risk to the population, “they said in a statement.

No.  Given their utter failure to do so in the previous century, I seriously doubt the Argentine government can control their economy.  Not watching the video, CNN Español.

Este martes se vivió un día repleto de noticias económicas en Argentina. Por un lado, después de varias jornadas de alza, el Banco Central consiguió que el dólar baje y llevar así un poco de calma a los mercados. Por el otro, se dio a conocer la cifra de inflación oficial para abril, que registró un 2,7% de aumento. ¿Está logrando el Gobierno controlar la economía? Jonatan Viale nos da su perspectiva.

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This Tuesday there was a day full of economic news in Argentina. On the one hand, after several days of rally, the Central Bank managed to get the dollar down and thus bring a bit of calm to the markets. On the other hand, the official inflation figure was released for April, which registered a 2.7% increase. Is the government managing to control the economy? Jonatan Viale gives us his perspective.

When people tell me that Trump is going to round up Mexicans and put them into camps, I happen to think they are a bit crazy, and let them know that I think they are crazy.  It may sound like they have something to point to in this case, but the devil as they say is in the details.  This is only for children arriving under 18 AND separated from their parents….okay this might be crazy.  There is no decision yet, and the article does admit that.  It is mostly a review of 4 bases in TX and AR to determine if the on base facilities meet HHS standards for temporary housing.

La orden presidencial incluye una serie de medidas, entre ellas la de elaborar “una lista detallada de todas las instalaciones existentes, incluidas las instalaciones militares, que podrían usarse, modificarse o reutilizarse para detener a extranjeros por violaciones de la ley de inmigración en las fronteras de Estados Unidos o cerca de ellas”.

Alison Parker, directora gerente del programa para EEUU de Human Right Watch, dijo que “las autoridades de inmigración deben mantener juntas a las familias y no deben mantener a niños durante la noche en celdas de detención”. Consideró además que es “una práctica común en la actualidad” a lo que se le está uniendo la posibilidad de que ahora sean enviados a bases militares.

“El gobierno federal sabe que tiene obligaciones legales para proporcionar viviendas adecuadas para los niños. Es imposible imaginar cómo esas obligaciones legales, mucho menos obligaciones morales de trato humano para los niños se pueden cumplir en una base militar. No hay justificación para esta decisión política dura y absurda”, resaltó Parker en un comunicado escrito

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The presidential order includes a series of measures, including the preparation of “a detailed list of all existing facilities, including military installations, that could be used, modified or reused to detain foreigners for violations of the immigration law at the borders. of the United States or near them. “

Alison Parker, managing director of the US Human Rights Watch program, said that “immigration authorities should keep families together and should not keep children overnight in detention cells.” He also considered that it is “a common practice now” to which is joining the possibility that they are now sent to military bases.

“The federal government knows that it has legal obligations to provide adequate housing for children It is impossible to imagine how those legal obligations, much less moral obligations of humane treatment for children can be met on a military basis.” There is no justification for this political decision hard and absurd, “Parker said in a written statement

Alison, two of my kids went to a daycare on base.  I assure you, people in the military are fully capable of being humane.

This may be in English and it may even be a week old, but I thought it might be fun to share here:

Obrador’s “populism” suggests Mexicans are desperate for somebody to stand up to Trump’s bullying and fight government’s deep-rooted corruption that has plunged the country into economic and political turmoil. But he’s making unrealistic promises, and his Made in Mexico policies could further threaten economic trade between the two nations.

You think that’s good? Think again.

The already volatile financial market would go into a tailspin, almost certainly sending the Mexican currency, the peso, on a downward spiral. That means less money to pay for his policies, hurting the very people he wants to get out of poverty.

A President Obrador would stand up to Trump, yes. But in doing so he could isolate Mexico from much needed economic trade with the United States and the world.

American industries – from oil to automobile manufacturing to farmers to cattle ranchers – should be worried about a President Obrador.

Obrador isn’t bluffing. He truly believes he can make Mexico self-sufficient on corn, beans, beef and a range of other current imports.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Mexico should become self-sufficient. But it should not be done so at the expense of the poor, who stand to lose the most if Obrador’s socialist agenda fails.

And if a President Obrador fails, as experts predict, that could mean only one thing: A wave of Mexicans heading north to cross to the United States – with or without Trump’s border wall.

The AZ Republic arguing against socialism?  Well I’ll be.

Once again translation services are provided by the Alpha Beta Corporation.  I guess they managed to stay out of the news this week…good for them!

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A Midweek Reflection

Here at Glib HQ, we tend to spend most of our time being, well, glib.

A bit more than a year ago the Founders expressed a wistful, “Wouldn’t it be great to have our own place?”

I, not having the good sense I was born with, said, “Oh, it’s not hard to put a site together.”

And that’s true.

What is difficult to build is a real community. And thanks to all of you, this has surpassed my wildest expectations. Especially since I had none.

I thought I’d throw a site together, hand it over to the Founders, and go on my way. However, this site has become a place we can all come to express our various levels of exasperation with the state of the world, propose our solutions, snark, laugh, cry when we need to, share our knowledge, get support, offer help, spread our joy, ask for advice, inspire each other, ponder the larger issues, have good faith discussions, and simply feel a bit more linked.

I often say that my new life strategy is to learn not to care about people I know, so I don’t care what happens to them. It isn’t working out so well.

Because, darnit, I am grateful for all the connections I have made among the Founders and the Glibertariat, both online and off. I have been privileged to spend some truly wonderful hours with fellow Glibs.

I’ve also learned quite a bit about quite a lot, and some of it doesn’t even require brain bleach.

So, whether you contribute comments, create content, submit recipes, donate hard-earned cash, or send off-site correspondence, I just want to say thank you.

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I now return you to your regularly scheduled morning fare

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Still around: Many young people who are unknown to me; David Boreanaz (48); Janet Jackson (51); Krist Novoselic & Thurman Thomas (both 52); Pierce Brosnan (64); Robert Fripp (72); Danny Trejo (73)

Kicked off: William Seward (1801); H.H. Holmes (1861); Hugh Plaxton (1904); Woody Herman (1913); Ephraim Katzir (1916); Liberace (1919); Yvonne Craig (1937); Ray Condo (1950)

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• I hope all the Glibs and their loved ones in the Northeast/Mid-Atlantic are OK this morning.
• “Let’s cut another bureaucrat” brings a predictable response from politicians.
• What the actual fuck. Completely fail at your job and retire early and handsomely.
• In documents, prosecutors allege that they found a large cache of child pornography on a server. “Good enough to hold him until we find manufacture evidence for what we really want to get him for.” TW: WaPo
• What is the mission of HHS again?
• Know what causes my mood disorders? Morning. But researchers say it’s really because of this. TW: Will nag about your ad blocker
• MikeS could pick up an easy $5k if he “finds” something that “fell off the back of a truck.”

Be the hero of your own story today, friends!

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Your Links are courtesy of me, this afternoon. That means all will be in order; there will be exactly 5 links over four bullet points, there will be a featured image, and no sidebar on the post. In the comments – witty banter, inside jokes and possibly a reference to monocles, orphans or roadz.

 

So. In order to avoid a post longer than a new regulation from the Eidgenössische Finanzmarkt Aussicht, I present your links;

• If you listen carefully, I think you can still hear Erdogan’s laughter. “Oh yes, I will be ever so respectful…” *orders new attack on Kurds*
• Things are NOT orderly around here. Unacceptable! Someone get on this, soon.
• Think things are goofy in the US legal system? How about in Merry Olde England?
• Tesla is a hazard everywhere.

There. Now to the comments. You know your duty!

Good after… damn. Let me come back in from the top.

Good Moooooorning, Glibs. Sloopy is back on the road this morning. Gotta feed all those moufs. In the meantime, I’ll try not to release these links an hour early and incomplete. Its like the Dan Rather days of the internet all over again “PROFESSIONAL blogs would never do that!”

In sports, Houston Rockets got run out of the gym by Golden State, Army On Ice picked up a home win to even the series, Astros lost a close one to the good Los Angeles team, Oakland beat the Bean(town)ers, and the Reds streak came to an end after they stopped play bad Los Angeles. And now… the links!

We’ll start with a story about a very nice man who humbly donated plasma as often as they’d let him for 60 years, helping generations of Australian babies with Rh compatibility. He is retiring at age 81 from doing so because the rules for donation have aged him out. Thank you, sir.

Hungary creates official “enemies list” with 200 names. Thousands more ask to join. (T/W most of those on the list work for George Soros)

So this guy got talked into running for Senate and doesn’t really want to, and now people are shocked, Shocked! That he doesn’t show up for campaign events. Maybe he really meant he doesn’t want to be a senator.

Its the cure for the common cold — only 25 years away! (Still!)

 

99 years ago, L. Frank Baum joined this list.

 

Howdy, Glibs and (mythical) Glibbettes. I hope your Monday has gone swimmingly and nobody is suffering a post-Mother’s Day hangover. I am definitely not, but damned if I feel like working. My oldest was “sick” today. His mother violated the cardinal rule — no physical symptoms, no staying home sick (I voted to send him, although he did wake up crying last night about his stomach. If he is completely faking, dude’s gonna be a great Method actor). As best we can tell he’s lactose intolerant but likes chocolate milk too much. Or else he’s got some rare disease I’m going to feel guilty about giving him shit about.

First up, I finally am starting to think the run-up in performance in mass-produced cars has gotten out of hand. Just kidding. An Opel couldn’t really go 400 MPH if you pushed it out the back of plane.

Alright, Florida Man! (And women) Caged tiger at prom causes uproar! These euphemisms are really getting out of hand. And it looks like its gonna rain all up on the taint side of Florida’s wang this week.

I wouldn’t say I gas-light my wife into thinking we’re poor, but I have suggested that maybe we don’t need new furniture as often as she would like, or that my work shoes can make it another six months. From the outside, it appears that maybe the ex-husband just lived very frugally himself. Not so frugal that he thought it was worth half the money he’d saved to stay married.

 

Well that was a short weekend.  And a short time at home for me.  Back on the road again today for a few days at a minimum.

You know who wishes they could do what I have to do and spend a lot of time away from home?  The Tampa Bay Lightning, that’s who.  They got freight-trained in games 1 and 2 of the Wales Conference Finals, having fallen yesterday to the Capitals 6-2 at home.  And yesterday probably wasn’t as close as the score indicated.  The Capitals were toying with them.  Just toying with them.  Meanwhile, in the Campbell Conference Finals, the J-E-T-S, Jets! Jets! Jets! got off to a fantastic start against Army/Vegas on Saturday, doubling up the Black or Golden Knights 4-2 to take the first game of the series.  The second game is tonight, and Vegas better pull their collective head out of their collective ass or they’re gonna find themselves in the same boat the Lightning are in.  And that boat is sinking fast.

Over in the NBA, the Fighting LeBrons found out that a young Celtics team is probably not going to be intimidated by them as long as James is held to shooting outside under pressure.  Game 1 was an ass-kicking by the Celtics.  The WCF starts tonight.

And the Dodgers just got swept in a 4 game series at home.  By the fucking Cincinnati Reds, who are arguably the worst team in baseball not residing on the South Side of Chicago.  My what it must feel like to be a fan of that team, what with all the lofty expectations with everyone returning and the shit-talking about how the Astros stole the World Series last year.  Hang in there, guys!

Oh, the Astros are in first in their division and have reeled off 6 of 7, by the way. And have given up a ridiculously low 111 runs so far this season, which is 40 better than their closest AL competitor.  Huh, maybe defense (and a kickass rotation) does win games after all.

And in soccer, the EPL wrapped yesterday, with Swansea going down and Liverpool nabbing the fourth UCL spot for next year after thrashing Brighton. Mo Salah (Egyptian King) broke the EPL season goal-scoring record for 38 games and Chelsea and Arsenhole will be enjoying Thursday European football in the fall. In fact, the UCL, with the exception of Spurs, will reside exclusively in the northwest.  Sorry, London, but your teams suck.

Born on this date were Star Wars creator (and destroyer) George Lucas, filmmaker Robert Zemeckis, Talking Head David Byrne, actor Tim Roth, bassist Mike Inez, annoying woman Cate Blanchett, and dickhead billionaire/conspirer with government Mark Zuckerberg.

Its also the day the first English settlement in the new world was established at Jamestown. And the day the delegates met in Philly to draw up the constitution (probably to boos, if I know anything about Philly-man). Lewis and Clark left St Louis for the west coast. Israel declared independence. And finally, the last Seinfeld episode aired and managed to disappoint everyone in America.

You get all that?  Good. Because it ran on for too long anyway, so I ain’t got time to repeat it.  Instead, I need to hurry on and get to…the links!

Play stupid games, like invading a sovereign nation, win stupid prizes.  I swear, if they spent half the time worrying about their own infrastructure and economy rather than destroying someone else’s, they might have solved for cold fusion by now. Or at least figured out how to build a coal-powered electrical plant and operate it without outside help.

It would appear that advertisers are finally figuring out that people outside of NYC and California might actually consume goods and services and that targeting them might result in increased sales.

The result is that marketers are now making concerted efforts to learn more about Americans who live outside New York and California. HP’s recent research on marketing and political identity included visits to the swing-state cities of Cincinnati and Detroit. Late last year, the ad agency Y&R, using a division of the firm that had previously overseen cultural immersion projects in Myanmar and Ecuador, deployed strategists to immerse themselves in cities like Indianapolis and Milwaukee, Wis.