Buenos Dias Gliberinos! I’m probably asleep right now, but thanks to the time travel technology designed by the Mayans, I have been able to bring you Mexican links from yesterday!
Deportes:
Did your team win? I don’t know, and its too early for me to try and cater to everyone’s sportsball needs. Find out here.
Women protest Mike Pence at a fundraising event, by dressing as characters from Handmaiden’s Tale. Apparently one of the reasons cited is US immigration policy, which strikes me as a bit of a stretch.
Another day, another high ranking member of a Mexican Drug cartel breaks out of prison.
Absurd Editorials:
Evidently, something was published in a journal called Nature Climate Change that found a correlation between climate change and suicides. What is the causal link you ask? During a month with “abnormally” high temperatures they found a slight uptick in suicides during the course of that month. Which means if the world is getting warmer on average we can expect more months to be “abnormally” hot, which means more suicides. Yes, it did occur to me this is very clearly, not listed in the editorial section.
Just when you thought it was safe to go out… Brett, after more tequila, decided to take me up on a dare and consequently got eaten by an alligator (this will be tomorrow’s Florida Man story). Moral: Ignore the Jew, especially when there’s a reptile involved. But do pay attention to these first rate news stories that (((we))) generously throw out there for discussion.
Trump has said imposing tariffs on foreign cars could push Americans to buy more U.S. automobiles, helping U.S. workers. But critics think tariffs would drive up the cost of all cars and pass those inflated prices on to consumers.
Commerce Department officials are now considering a variety of options to address Trump’s insistence that cheap foreign cars are flooding the U.S. market, and some of those measures would stop far short of imposing tariffs, two people briefed on the discussions said. But several of Trump’s advisers think he is expected to follow the approach he took with steel and aluminum imports and choose the most severe restrictions and his favored tool — tariffs across the board, according to the three people briefed on White House discussions.
Just 44 percent of white women voters with college degrees approve of Trump, while an even smaller 36 percent of white women with graduate degrees approve. By contrast, among working-class white women, views are split evenly.
Oh, and old ladies.
Among the youngest cohort of white women, Trump’s approval rating is a pathetic 32 percent, whereas among white female senior citizens it’s a very strong 51 percent.
The Toronto City Council has voted overwhelmingly to urge Canada’s federal and provincial government to ban the sale of handguns and handgun ammunition in the largest city in the country. The council’s 41-4 vote came two days after a man shot two people to death and wounded 13 others in the city.
Here’s an idea: ban shooting at people. That should work.
Some 13.5 percent of the U.S. population — 44 million — is foreign born, the highest level ever, and many are not proficient in English, choosing to speak Spanish at home instead. A report from the Migration Policy Institute found that 22 percent of the U.S. population does not speak English at home. The share was highest in Nevada at 31 percent and Florida at 29 percent.
Funny, when I was a little kid, we lived with my grandmother who was an immigrant- and her English was definitely not proficient, nor did it ever become so. Yet for some reason, we still didn’t speak Spanish at home. And like it has ever been, my parents and their siblings were perfectly bilingual, and my generation (except me, because we lived with Bubbie) could only speak English. Huh.
Los Angeles Police Department officers responded to a report of a suspicious package at 2:30 p.m. PT, LAPD Public Information Officer Mike Lopez told USA TODAY. The officers then called in a Los Angeles Fire Department hazardous materials team. “The package was addressed to ‘Anne Thrax,’” Los Angeles Fire Department spokeswoman Margaret Stewart said in a statement.
I’m sure you imaginative types will come up with better aliases.
Bob Rousseau: Too bad Rand Paul’s neighbor didn’t beat him harder. Rand Paul is a useless waste of good air. John Brennan, Clapper, Hayden, and Comey are the Best of the best…true Americans who served their country 40x more than Trump. These American Law Enforcement, and Intelligence professionals deserve our gratiitude for speaking out to protect the United States from Trump and his Anti American fascist authoritarian policies and behavior.
And lately, women — and transgender and nonbinary people who menstruate — are talking about it in public more than ever before. There are new products and services on the market, from menstrual cups to period underwear to medicinal cannabis and “period coaches.”
Period coaches?
“C’mon, BLEED! BLEED!”
I don’t usually do the Old Guy Music on weekday posts, but hey, what the fuck. Lee Barber is the greatest songwriter you never heard of, and this delightfully horrifying tune comes off his latest album. By the way, he also did the featured painting on this image, and his visual work is just as disturbing and wonderful as his music.
Since everyone else is still recovering from tequila binges (and don’t have a culture of methamphetamine use), I’m up for today’s Morning Links as well. Lemme see…
In sports, Cards beat the Wee Red Machine, Balmer took one from the BoSox, Phils walk off against LA in 16, Twins, Pirates, Mets, Wankees, A’s, D’backs, Brew Crew, Royals, White Sox (did I read that right?), Giants and World Champion Astros all won.
Today’s birthdays include some British dude named Balfour, Walter Payton, Iman, idiot who played himself Matt LeBlanc, Fun musician Roger Creager, and the world’s first test tube baby Louise Brown.
On this day in 1394 Jews were expelled from France and in 1587 Christians were expelled from Japan. Napoleon beat the Ottomans, the Crittenden Resolution passes and Civil War becomes inevitable in the US.
I may have over-reacted yesterday, as there’s been no more cannibalism or murder than usual in my neck of the woods. But 65% humidity in July? It seemed likely that the world was ending. Instead, I am in meeting Hell. I must have joined an Agile group because we spend more time in status meetings than working. I’d go become a teacher or work in healthcare, but the previous post leads me to believe that I’d be racing the heat death of the universe to make that change.
Homemade GUNZ is now a favorite of CRIMINALZ!!! Says a former BATFE employee with no statistics to back him up. The Ghostgunner and parts are significantly more expensive than driving to the gun show and buying one cash on the barrelhead.
I love the TdF — Cops pepper-spray protesting farmers and crash the race. They should just send out Presidential aides in riot gears.
OK you lot! Just because you all have been commenting in goodly numbers, and submitting material like we asked….it doesn’t mean you have any room to slack off! I expect top grade comments, snark a plenty, and everything else that makes this commentariat top grade.
I’ll bet you think you comment well?!
Events – Mary, Queen of Scots got tossed in the clink and abdicated (1567) Gibraltar was de-Spainified (1704) SCOTUS tells Nixon to hand ’em over [tapes] (1974).
Birthdays – Simon Bolivar [who at the end realized he had screwed up – “he who serves a revolution, plows the sea”] (1783) Alexandre Dumas (1802) Amelia Earhart (1897)
Sports – baseball continues, whatever. NFL camps are open, hurrah!
Links:
Which one of you was this? Come on, fess up. Guess it wasn’t a “Judgment Free Zone” – or was he “Gymtimidated”?
We had a cold front blow in about 4am this morning. Like a for-real fall cold front with incredible lightning and thunder. Also the temperature hit the low 70s and will probably not exceed the low 80s today. This is very weird weather for July. Very weird. So like any good Florida Man, I am preparing for the end of the world and Fimbulwinter. This may be our last links together. I am gathering closed-toed shoes and pants in case winter arrives. I have dug out several sweat shirts. I am collecting firewood from the downed branches. Stay tuned for further notices if possible.
Archer presages reality. With perfectly safe, absolutely non-flammable helium, this is the slowest way to fly across the Atlantic. Also, as yet not proven safely able to operate for the three days it would take to cross.
Sorry Eldrick, the aura isn’t there anymore. Jack and Bobby, in no particular order since I don’t want to start a fight this morning, are safe atop golf’s Olympus. You not only didn’t intimidate the field anymore, you lost by 3 to your playing partner, who was as cool as the other side of the pillow coming down the stretch as you were hitting shots that would have been OB had it not been for a couple fortuitously and unaware patrons. I’m more concerned with Jordan Spieth blowing what was a reasonably good chance to repeat in what has been a trying year.
Baseball winners were: San Diego, Toronto, Tampa Bay, Pittsburgh, Boston, Washington, LA, KC, the Cubs, Texas, (of) Anaheim, Oakland, Arizona, Seattle and Philly. New York-New York was rained out.
And some sad news for our MINNESOOOOODA VIIIIIIKINGS fans, as their offense line coach Tony Sparano unexpectedly died yesterday at the age of 56. Condolences to our Vikes fans and the Sparano family.
Slash!
Some famous people born on this date were: baseball player Pee Wee Reese, Supreme Court justice Anthony Kennedy, hurler Don Drysdale, shock jock Don Imus, sax/oboe player Andy McKay, Dutch filmmaker and victim of a terroristic murder Theo Van Gogh, rocker Martin Gore, actor Woody Harrelson , guitarist Slash, dead junkie who left three kids without a father Philip Seymour Hoffman, funny man Marlon Wayans, cigar-holder Monica Lewinsky, and actor Daniel Radcliffe.
Its also the date on which Napoleon captured Alexandria, the first typewriter (of sorts_ was patented in America, Lou Gehrig hit his first of 23 (23?!?!?!) career grand slams, Italy’s fascist government banned foreign words, the Germans got their ass kicked at Kursk, VP Richard Nixon visited the Soviet Union, the Beatles “Help!” was released, Classy Fred Blasie won his fifth world wrestling championship, Nixon refused to release the Watergate tapes, Billy Carter admitted to being paid by Libya, and ISIS set off a bomb in Kabul killing 80 people at a protest.
Weak birthday day, that’s for sure. So let’s move on to…the links!
Rattle those sabres, boys!
Some presidents send a theocratic shithole pallets of cash in the middle of the night and some decide to go completely in the opposite direction. You decide which is more prudent. Me? I’ll take peace over either one, which I’m sure is what we will end up with. After all, the Iranians can only buy so many weapons with the $58 billion in cash and securities they were handed over, so I’m sure Rouhani is just talking shit to appease his base.
So the FISA warrant application was released with a lot of it retracted. But it sure looks to me like it completely supports the GOP claim that essentially all of the evidence used was the Steele dossier that was completely funded by the DNC and the Clinton campaign (by way of a lawyer to avoid FEC oversight), although that detail was conspicuously left out of the document. And Brennan himself even said that it was all done at Obama’s behest…although that won’t see much airplay except over at Fox. All these bastards involved should at a minimum be fired for falsifying a warrant application by claiming that all sources and sub-sources had been vetted for accuracy and identified. Because they had to know that was a lie.
That’s it for me this week. I’m gonna be in Cincy the next few days and then Phoenix through next Tuesday. But I’ll be checking in from time to time. So have a great week, friends!
SEA SMITH TAKE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FISH ON VACATION. CRUISE LINE SAY “NO”… SEA SMITH REGISTER OBJECTIONS.
SEA SMITH NOT HAPPY. HE TRY TAKE RELAXING CRUISE. BUT SHIP PEOPLE SAY “NO BRING UGLY FISH” – SEA SMITH EXPLAIN IT EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL…NO WORK. SEA SMITH NO GO ON CRUISE. TRY RELAXING NEAR SEA LION COLONY (BY RELAXING, MEAN RAPE SEA LIONS). BUT NO ALL YOU CAN EAT SEAFOOD BUFFET OR LOUNGE ACTS….SO SEA SMITH NOT HAPPY.
BUT HE HAPPY TO GIVE LINKS! SO HERE ARE GOOD LINKS TO TALK ABOUT:
SEA SMITH UNHAPPY ABOUT NOT GO ON SHIP, BUT NOT AS CRAZY AS HOOMAN ON SUBWAY. SEA SMITH NO SWIM UP HUDSON. NYC CRAZY!
SEA SMITH REMEMBER SOMETHING ABOUT “MOTHER OF ALL BATTLES” – IT NOT GO GOOD FOR CRAZY DICTATOR….SO WHY ANOTHER ONE SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
WHAT YOU SAY?
SILLY HOOMANS. IT EASIER IF ASK SEA SMITH TO DO IT FOR YOU! SEA SMITH LIKE MINES, THEY TICKLE WHEN GO BOOM.
SEA SMITH VERY CONFUSE. HIM HEAR ALL THINGS FROM NEW PRESIDENT MEXICO… BEFORE ELECTION, HIM BURP WHOLE INTERNATIONALE AND WEAR HAMMER AND SICKLE UNDERWEAR…NOW, THIS?!
SEA SMITH HOPE YOU HAVE GOOD NIGHT – HIM GO AND HAVE BEERS WITH FRIEND NINGEN. HIM ONLY SAY “BLOOP” SO NO ARGUMENTS!
It really does take some effort to fuck up waffles, Nature’s Perfect Food. I hope the featured image was enough to convince you that there is no God, we’re all doomed, and hatred and evil rule our world. And as always, I offer plenty of ammo for people leaning toward antisemitism with the image above. I would say “no Christian babies were harmed in the production of those waffles,” but I’d be lying.
Speaking of which, this is the Jewish holiday of Tisha B’Av, the anniversary of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. Which one? Both of them. Fucking Iraqis and Italians. And fucking Krauts and Polacks- it’s also the anniversary of the deportation of the Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto, about which in accordance with current law I am forced to say that the Polacks had nothing to do with, nossir, they were off somewhere else eating pierogies. It was only the Germans.
OK, I knew my good mood wouldn’t last.
The only redeeming quality of July 22 is that it’s the birthday of Stephen Vincent Benet, who is one of my favorite American writers. If you weren’t forced to read By The Waters Of Babylon as a public school inmate and had it thereby ruined for you, I urge you to read it now. It was the Ur-post-apocalyptic story, copied thousands of times since. And if your lips are too tired to read The Devil and Daniel Webster, the movie version with Walter Huston was absolutely delightful and quite true to the story.
In what has become a familiar litany, particularly in Taliban-dominated Kunduz Province, Afghan and American officials had initially denied that any civilians had been killed in the strike on Thursday, claiming the victims were Taliban fighters. Then 11 bodies belonging to women and children appeared at the hospital in Kunduz City, about four miles from the site of the attack in Chardara District. The Taliban do not have women fighters and the children were very young.
The shooting “is within the bookends of ‘stand your ground’ and within the bookends of force being justified,” the sheriff said, later adding, “I’m not saying I agree with it, but I don’t make that call.”
Dr. Mark Hausknech and the shooter were both riding bikes on South Main Street, near Texas Children’s Pavilion for Women, shortly before 9 a.m. local time, Executive Assistant Police Chief Troy Finner said at a news conference. Hausknecht, 65, was biking north when he passed the shooter going in the other direction, Finner said. The shooter turned, fired two shots at Hausknecht and rode away on his bike, Finner said.
At least Poppy didn’t grab anyone’s ass. This time.
“We all laid there for about a half an hour until LAPD came and got us out. They helped carry me across the parking lot and they sort of tossed me over a wall,” Kohles said.
I’m not saying that this was caused by the store running out of Quinoa Corn Chips, but… this was caused by the store running out of quinoa corn chips.
More follow-up, this time about the bus stabbings in Germany. The news stories yesterday kept emphasizing that the suspect was a “German citizen.” That was repeated several times. Well, we all know what that means.
A German court has issued an arrest warrant for a German-Iranian man suspected of carrying out a knife attack on a bus in the northern city of Luebeck but there is no indication that it was a terrorist attack…
Of course not.
Video surveillance footage from the bus led to suspicion that he wanted to set fire to the vehicle, thereby injuring as many people as possible and potentially killing some.
At some point, Europeans will have to start asking themselves why this kind of thing is so common there, yet so rare in the US. Apparently, today is not the day.
Old Guy Music! What happens if you take a great Paul Simon song and have it covered in an acoustic version by a great bluegrass band? I would say, this:
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ IS PLEASED…THE CHOSEN ONES HAVE BROUGHT THE SNARK, AND HAVE LET THE BRUTALS HAVE IT, RIGHT IN THEIR…. WELL, ANYWAYS, ZARDOZ SHOWS HIS CHOSEN ONES HIS FAVOR BY GIVING THEM THE GIFT OF THE LINK…GO FORTH AND SNARK!
DOES THIS REQUIRE A HOT SWEDISH BRUTAL AND A CAR CRASH? NO? OK, THEN THE GOLFING BRUTAL HAS A CHANCE.
ZARDOZ LAUGHS…. A DISTINCTION WITHOUT A DIFFERENCE. AS LONG AS IT ENDS UP WITH THE BRUTALS IN MISERY, ZARDOZ APPROVES!
LAUGH AT THE BRUTALS, LAUGH! ZARDOZ IS GLAD THE TABERNACLE IS THE LATEST AND GREATEST IN COMPUTING.
IF MANY BRUTALS ARE NOT SWEPT OUT TO SEA, ESPECIALLY MAYOR DEBLASIO, ZARDOZ WILL BE DISAPPOINTED.
Buenos Dias Gliberinos! I’m probably asleep right now, but thanks to the time travel technology designed by the Mayans, I have been able to bring you Mexican links from yesterday!
