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Good morning, my dear Glibs! Banjos and Sloopy are on the road to a fun-filled Christmas vacation (cue National Lampoon), so I’m here…wait! What’s this?  This just in. Oh.My.Goodness.

 

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WE’RE MOVING!

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What?

Oh, no, not Glibertarians.com. That’s staying right here.

This is personal.

 

OMWC has accepted a new gig in Arizona. We shall soon be relocating lock, stock, and whiskey barrel (or wine cellar, YMMV) to the greater Phoenix area. 

 

 

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Now, I know what you’re asking next: Does this mean Tundra will be doomed to never meet me? 

Apparently.

Or maybe: Does this mean the Arizona Glib contingent will be forced to endure our company?

Indubitably.

Or how about: Who in the world moves across the country in the dead of winter?

Us. And it isn’t the first time. At least this time we’re going from the gloomy cold to sunny warmth, the opposite of the previous winter adventure.

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OK! Back to the topic at hand…links!

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LINKS

• But they left out the most important part of the article! WHAT WAS THE MUSIC?
• Of course they were left in place.
• Wrong power tool, so not a Glib.
• This seems like a bad idea.
• An infuriating headline.
• Damnit. Didn’t move soon enough.

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From Hike Arizona on Instagram

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THINGS I LIKE ABOUT ARIZONA

• No messing about with the damn clocks.
• Roden Crater
• Firearms laws.
• Actual mountains.
• Plenty of sunshine.
• Close to my beloved New Mexico.
• Heard Museum

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…

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(Three of my favorite musicians. We’ve been lucky enough to see them multiple times in tiny living-room sized venues over the years.)

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Have a terrific day, Glibs!

If anyone wants to come over and help me pack, just let me know. And by pack, I mean…pack…not drink lots of wine so there are fewer bottles to move. 😉

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Hi everyone. Thanks for your generosity yesterday. I might have accidentally slept through the afternoon links. I had a long week, and yesterday was the first time in a long while that I had no due date bearing down on me. Or there was more fentanyl than usual in my bag of heroin. It was a pretty epic nap that just happened to coincide with leaving the money bleg up longer. Anyhow, I’ve more or less been awake and at work all day today, so here’s some links.

The Fed is fucking Trump. Or, you know, raising the cost of borrowing money when it appears that demand and supply are mis-matched. Your call.

Paul Ryan says absolutely nothing of substance in his farewell address. In that respect, it is much like his time as Speaker. Bye, Felicia.

I’m confused about the difference between an entirely pre-fabricated “tiny house” on wheels and a trailer. I don’t seem to be able to come up with a criteria to differentiate besides “will hipsters pay too much to live in a trailer?”

The Florida Man disease is spreading.

I hate each and everyone of you, so I got you a shitty song just to put some random new pop in the mix.

I have a long day ahead of packing, cleaning, and vacationing.  1100 miles in a car with three young children and my step daughter’s dog.  Wish me luck.

 

Whoever had “delayed indefinitely with regular updates as to how Flynn has been assisting with other cases” wins the what will have happened to Flynn during his sentencing hearing contest.  What happened yesterday is dependent on who you are.  If you have TDS, it was revealed yesterday that Flynn committed super treason, if you’re more logical it was revealed that the judge was highly skeptical of the charges and Flynn’s plea and repeatedly tried to get him to withdraw his plea, probing special counsel as to why he was taking the plea and discovering that he too would have been charged with a worse FARA charge specifically related to Turkey.

 

It was also revealed during Comey’s second round of testimony that he’s a fucking moron.  How the hell was this man in charge of the FBI?

 

Usually I’m horrified by bipartisanship, but this I can support.

 

Trump starts to back down on his threat to shutdown the government over wall funding and the US pledged over 10 billion in aid to Mexico and Central America for general aid and assistance with securing Mexico’s northern border.  He’s looking underneath every cushion in every couch in the White House to find change to help fund the thing.  Needless to say, his base is not happy.

 

 

Just a reminder that 21 year old Kylie Jenner is worth $900,000,000, ya losers.

 

DNA making is easier for detectives to solve cold cases.

 

That’s all I got for today, I have a long day ahead of me.  I won’t forget to leave you with a song.

Good morning Glibs, I’m just one and half days from hitting the road.  Hope your vacations are as near as mine.

 

 

After much speculation, Mueller finally releases the original 302 for Flynn’s interview after being ordered to by Judge Sullivan. It was under seal this whole time.  This morning is Flynn’s sentencing day.  Will he actually be sentenced only to be pardoned by Trump?  Will the case be thrown out?  Whatever happens will be a big fucking deal.

 

Please don’t let a libertarian girl down, fail like I know you have it in you!

 

 

 

 

Good news Michelangelo!  A federal judge ruled New York’s ban on nunchucks unconstitutional.

 

Jenna Jameson on Keto.  Wait am I stealing Q Continuum shtick?

 

Here are the most corrupt congressmen of 2018 according to a watchdog group.

 

Polar vortex!

 

Roger Stone spreading lies on Infowars?  Why I never!

 

 

That’s all I got for today, before I leave I’ll give you a song as tradition dictates.

On the first day of Glibmas, my nightmares gave to me: This tasty gem by SugarFree

‘Tis the season to get blind-drunk and vomit while muttering “The horror, the horror”. Its not a lot of fun to try to follow that, so I’m just gonna mail it in. My kids were sick all weekend while my wife was out of town. If you want to devise a sleep-deprivation torment, alternate having one wake up screaming every few hours from fever dreams and then have the little one ninja in and wake you up in between.

Have a moral panic over teen vaping complete with pictures of a disfiguring scar from a lithium ion battery explosion. Which is no more a danger of vaping than burning down your house by leaving a cigarette lit. How dare these young persons enjoy nicotine (a substance NOT known to anyone to cause cancer) free of cancer causing agents and not funding states’ Medicaid funds!

Vox makes a case for a second Brexit vote, so now you know, its a stupid idea.

Well, it looks like Swiss’s son may not have to follow his dad to Afghanistan after all. I’m rooting for declaring victory, then leaving.

Bed time stories for adults? Instead of “once upon a time”, I think they all start “once we don’t need to work anymore”.

This is such a fun video. “How did that accountant get on stage, and man is he tearing up that drum kit”

I am three and half days from vacation time even though mentally I’m already there.

 

 

After failing to produce the original 302 from Flynn’s first interview, many are speculating as to why.  Whatever happened to it, it does not bode well for Mueller considering who the judge is.  We’ll have to wait until Tuesday to find out what happens next.  The suspense is terrible, I hope it will last.

 

The real news here is we finally know their weakness.

 

 

Democrats mad, vow to get those dastardly Republican villains.

 

A split legislature is even more beautiful than I imagined.

 

Economic DOOM AND GLOOM!

 

You had me at “collapses” and “Santa Dangles”.

 

 

Comey is back to testify again.

 

 

A video of almost two years of the media declaring the end for Trump.

 

 

That’s all I for today, here’s a song for ya’ll.

 

STEVE SMITH FINISH CHRISTMAS SHOPPING. HIM GET BEST PRESENTS FOR FRIENDS. BY PRESENTS, MEAN RAPE. SO HIM RELAX AND LISTEN TO ONE OF FAVORITE CHRISTMAS ALBUMS.

HIM GIVE FUNNY GLIBERTARIANS LINKS TO ENJOY. THAT ALMOST AS GOOD PRESENT. NOW STEVE SMITH GO AND SPREAD HOLIDAY CHEER. BY SPREAD HOLIDAY CHEER…

• STEVE SMITH NO LIKE AMATEURS. OFFER TO SHOW BRAZILIAN AMATEUR HOW IT DONE. BY SHOW, MEAN RAPE.
• STEVE SMITH SEE SENATOR WITH MOOBS KEEP EYE ON SERIOUS NATIONAL PROBLEMS.
• TRAIN PEOPLE MAKE LOTS OF MONEY? STEVE SMITH SHOCKED, HIM TELL YOU.

FREE CASCADIA1

Well, it’s another goyishe shabbat, so the poor Jew is stuck doing the work. And because news declines in interest even faster than dead fish, there’s an ephemeral vibe. None of this will be remembered a week from now. This elates and depresses me simultaneously.

Ditto today’s birthdays, a delightful mix of heroism and villainy. Starting with hero Ludwig van Beethoven (without whom Schroeder and Alex would be NOTHING!); popular fraud (though some claim dupe) Margaret Mead; one of my great childhood inspirations and favorite novelist Arthur C. Clarke; money-grubber and supreme merchant of dishonesty Morris Dees; darling of baseball card collectors, Billy “Fuck Face” Ripken; and beloved football great William “The Refrigerator” Perry.

The news awaits us. Let’s not disappoint it.

---

Chipotle comes to India.

Eleven people have died after eating rice that had likely been contaminated with a toxic substance at a Hindu temple ceremony, a health official said Saturday. Another 29 people were critically ill and undergoing emergency treatment across various hospitals in Mysore, a city in the state of Karnataka. The patients were being treated for vomiting, diarrhoea and respiratory distress.

According to the police, devotees had gathered in large numbers at the Kicchukatti Maramma temple for the consecration ceremony on Friday, after which rice was served as a sanctified offering. Murugappa, a devotee who was present at the temple, said they were offered tomato rice and flavoured water. “A foul smell was emanating from the food, but those at the head of the queue consumed the food nonetheless,” he was quoted as saying by the NDTV news network. “A little while later they started vomiting and frothing at the mouth.”

Hmm, I’m thinking of making biryani for dinner tonight. What could go wrong?

---

In 2019, Congress will be too busy investigating Trump to get anything done. Trump will be too busy dealing with investigations to get anything done. I call this a win.

The mounting inquiries are building into a cascade of legal challenges that threaten to dominate Trump’s third year in the White House. In a few weeks, Democrats will take over in the House and pursue their own investigations into all of the above – and more. House Democrats may eventually seek to impeach Trump. But, for now, removing him from office appears unlikely: It would require the support of two-thirds of the Senate, which is controlled by Republicans.

However, there has been one immediate impact on a president accustomed to dictating the country’s news cycles but who now struggles to keep up with them: Trump has been forced to spend his political capital – and that of his party – on his defense. As the bad news has rolled in, the president has cut back his public schedule. He spent more time than usual in his official residence this week, with more than two dozen hours of unstructured “executive time,” said a person familiar with his schedule.

Get my popcorn ready.

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A suitable replacement for John Conyers celebrates the legacy of the Adjacent Jew Haters.

[Congresschimp-elect Rashida] Tlaib will fill the seat formerly occupied by Democratic Rep. John Conyers, who left office last year amid accusations of sexual misconduct. She ran unopposed in the general election following her August primary win in Michigan’s 13th Congressional District.

Following that win, Tlaib appeared at a celebration rally where she was draped in a Palestinian flag and her mother broke out in ululation, a high-pitched vocal sound many Middle Eastern women make in celebration.

Oh man, there may not be enough popcorn.

---

Chicagoans really do have fun.

[Tinley Park v]illage officials are considering ways to regulate short-term home rentals after a recent wedding party at one such house featured drummers and bagpipers, as well as a horse being paraded down the street, according to a police report.

There were no arrests or charges lodged, but the incident report noted 40 cars in the cul-de-sac parked haphazardly, with some blocking fire hydrants as well as a livestock trailer that was partly obstructing the street. Party attendees left without further incident after police arrived, according to the report.

Two observations: if a woman says she’s been fantasizing about her dream wedding since she was a little girl… RUN. And the sure way to avoid neighbor complaints about loud partiesd is to invite them.

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Many people voted against Hillary Clinton because of her Obama-like irresistible urges to mire us in every shit-ass conflict in the Middle East that she can. Trump has done soooo much better.

President Donald Trump indicated in March that the troops would be brought home once the battle is won, and the latest military push to eject the group from its final pocket of territory recently got underway. In September, however, the administration switched course, saying the troops will stay in Syria pending an overall settlement to the Syrian war and with a new mission: to act as a bulwark against Iran’s expanding influence.

The Pentagon does not say how many troops are there. Officially, they number 503, but earlier this year an official let slip that the true number may be closer to 4,000.

Repeat after me: the only difference between Team Red and Team Blue is the color of their ties.

---

I hope you’re sitting down. This is going to be the most shocking thing you’ve ever heard. Prepared? OK… here goes: Lizzy Warren isn’t an Indian.

“As a country, we need to stop pretending that the same doors open for everyone, because they don’t,” she said during a commencement speech at Morgan State University in Baltimore, according to the Washington Post.

“I’m not a person of color,” she continued. “And I haven’t lived your life or experienced anything like the subtle prejudice, or more overt harm, that you may have experienced just because of the color of your skin.”

Where is my fainting couch? Is there NOTHING a person can count on these days?

---

Old Guy Music! Normally, dinosaur get-togethers bore and annoy me. And this is probably boring and annoying, but… as a teenager, I loved Jethro Tull and King Crimson. So this pairing, unimaginable at that time, just gave me the flutters.

After a week of frustrating burial in large-company bureaucracy (year end means HR nightmares and much cursing of Workday), the Old Man emerges to throw links to the Glibertariat. Sorry, these will be news and not collections of titty pics of highly photoshopped and siliconed duck-lipped millennials. Others will no doubt step into the breach.

Today’s notable birthdays include brilliant physicist Freeman Dyson (whom everyone should read about- a true iconoclast, and one of the two most egregious snubs for a Nobel, the other being Henry Eyring); funnyman Tim Conway (SP and I saw his one-man show a few years ago and were in awe of his talent); Max Yasgur of Woodstock fame; and biophysicist and Nobelist Maurice Wilkins, whose work in X-ray diffraction was the key to elucidating the famed double helix structure of DNA.

To the news.

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Of course, the biggest news was the inverse of the Ninth Circuit ruling Obamacare, as she stands, to be unconstitutional.

The case against the ACA was brought by 20 Republican state attorneys general and governors, as well as two individuals. It revolves around Congress effectively eliminating the individual mandate penalty by reducing it to $0 as part of the 2017 tax cut bill. The mandate requires nearly all Americans to get health insurance or pay a penalty.
The Republican coalition, led by Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, is arguing that the change rendered the mandate itself unconstitutional. The states say that the voiding of the penalty, which takes effect next year, removes the legal underpinning the Supreme Court relied upon when it upheld the law in 2012 under Congress’ tax power.

I can only wonder what contortions Bush-souvenir John Roberts will undertake to preserve this insane government overreach. But I have confidence that he’s a smart guy who will creatively figure out another way to screw us.

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Australian animals are weirder than we can imagine. And likely going extinct, as befits creatures created by Yahweh after finishing a six pack of Foster’s.

It sports a green mohican, fleshy finger-like growths under its chin and can breathe through its genitals. Gill-like organs within its cloaca – an orifice used by reptiles for excretion and mating – enable it to stay underwater for up to three days.

So basically, Warty.

---

In sports news, Minnesodans may have had enough.

“For Sale: Lightly used $1,000,000,000 stadium. Occupant has been a team that only has success in breaking the hearts of the fans. Long history of collecting talent with no ideas on how to use them. Included: $84 million QB who can’t win against teams with winning records, and is 0-7 on MNF. A league record! All reasonable offers considered. Will even entertain ideas to convert to a homeless shelter, as there is a greater chance of one of those folk becoming a success.”

A picture of a dumpster fire was also added to the listing.

It’s a good thing those folks are so polite; this could have been much worse.

---

Remember this the next time WebDom posts her Vegan School.

There are several causes of hidden hunger in developed countries. The consumption of cheap, energy dense, nutritionally poor and heavily processed foods, particularly by poorer members of society, is a major factor. Even when fresh produce is consumed, there appears to be fewer micronutrients available than was once the case. This is due to issues such as soil health, caused by poor agricultural management and climate change.

The rapidly growing trend of veganism is likely to become another major contributor to hidden hunger in the developed world.

Climate Change and veganism- threats to our existence.

---

I left my heart in San Francisco…

The flight took the organ on ice from a courier at Sacramento International Airport bound for Seattle where the heart’s valve tissue was set to be used. But like a mishandled bag, the heart was mistakenly kept on the connecting flight to Dallas instead of being taken out of the cargo hold.

Trust me, if this were United or American, that thing would still be there, rotting away.

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It amazes me that after a faith-healer is exposed as a fraud (which they all are), nothing really changes. But let him squeeze a titty,and #metoo hell breaks loose.

“This case of John of God is really emblematic because he’s someone who is known internationally,” said Carolina Vicentin, one of the co-founders of the Brazilian feminist magazine AzMina. “But this type of thing is not unusual. The problem is that women are deterred from making accusations.”
Consulted by Brazilian presidents and lauded by international celebrities, including Oprah Winfrey, Faria established himself as the country’s pre-eminent healer, offering surgery to the sick guided only by spirits. The medium visited [President Michel] Temer in hospital last year, while former president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva sought his assistance during his treatment for cancer.

While it’s wonderful that his “career” fleecing and killing the gullible and stupid may be ending, it’s shitty that this is the only sort of thing that can accomplish that laudable end.

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I may end up having to do a Jewsday about this. Vegetarianism, science, and rabbis, all rolled into one.

Lab-grown meat has sparked a debate among rabbis in Israel about whether cell-cultured is the same as conventional meat and should fall under the same guidelines for keeping kosher. “There is a disagreement about it and there is a conversation. Also, definitely, there are new questions about lab-meat,” says Rabbi Yuval Cherlow, an expert on kosher tradition and bioethics.

Whenever someone says “there is a conversation,” you know they mean “monologue.”

---

Old Guy Music today features another birthday boy- the great and innovative big band leader Stan Kenton. And some really creepy dancing.

 

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ IS BUSY WITH PLANNING THE VORTEX CHRISTMAS PARTY. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ZARDOZ’S DECORATIONS?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ADVICE – THIS WEEK, THE BRUTAL “ASK AMY” IS DISMANTLED AND HUMILIATED BY THE SUPERIOR QUALITY OF ZARDOZ’S ADVICE.

Q: Since last year, I’ve been asking my wife to take a different approach to the holidays, and to just focus on our small immediate family. Every year, without fail, there’s some major disappointment, family conflict or travel debacle, typically with her extended family. She walks away exhausted, angry, frustrated or hurt. Last year, she said she was “done” after a big fight between her aunt and cousin that got very heated. She says she does not want them around, but she feels obligated to host these big family holiday parties, because otherwise, they would not see one another.

My wife finally said she was not going to host this year. I was thrilled and told her we would find ways to make it special for us and our son.

Amy, how can I get my wife to understand “quality” over “quantity” with familial relationships? I don’t want to see her in this constant cycle of anxiety and stress.

What do you recommend?

— Anxious Husband

A: WEAKLING! WHY ARE YOU PASSING ON THIS GREAT OPPORTUNITY? INVITE THE ENTIRE FAMILY. ONCE AT THE PARTY, ARM EVERYONE – WHEN THE INEVITABLE ARGUMENTS BREAK OUT, THE CLEANSING WILL BEGIN! IF YOUR BRUTAL RELATIVES ARE TOO SLOW TO BEGIN SHOOTING EACH OTHER, STIR THINGS UP A BIT – PERHAPS A COMMENT ABOUT AUNT BARBARA SAYING THAT COUSIN MIKE WAS A WORTHLESS DRUNK. OR THAT BROTHER IN LAW FRED SAID THAT MILLIE’S DAUGHTER WAS DRESSED LIKE A WHORE.

GO FORTH AND SH!T STIR! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

 

• ZARDOZ SHAKES HIS STONE HEAD AT THE BRUTAL CITY OF CHICAGO. THEY APPEAR TO HAVE A LARGE NUMBER OF BRUTALS RUNNING TO BE RULER. AND THEY ARE BEHAVING POORLY. ALTHOUGH HE WOULD PREFER OPEN VIOLENCE, ZARDOZ IS AMUSED.
• THIS STORY LACKS ANY HINT OF THE CLEANSING OF BRUTALS, WAR OR SUCH. “ANGRY SPINSTER YELLS AT OLD DRUNK”… ZARDOZ IS DISAPPOINT.
• NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT! ZARDOZ IS PLEASED.
• WELL, IT APPEARS ZARDOZ HAS FOUND SOME BRUTALS HE WILL NOT RECRUIT INTO THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS. HOW CAN YOU USE “LIVE AMMUNITION” AND YET “NO INJURIES WERE REPORTED.” MAYBE THE BRUTALS IN CHICAGO SHOULD FOLLOW THIS EXAMPLE, AND RANSACK AND SET ALIGHT THEIR RULERS’ OFFICES.

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.