Five plus hours of grinding out SQL and JSON — repeating each about 3x for each bleeding step. There’s a part of me that says, “oh just write a text automation script that generates all the documents, it can’t possibly take as long as just grinding.” This is a trap. This is always a trap. Although I was getting pretty good with search-and-replace by the end of the day. Next time is the time to write the automation. You want to be lazy, but optimally lazy. Never automate before it is time. Anyhow, I burned through most of my focus already. But MANY OF THE THINGS!! are working automatically now. That is good. When most of the hard problems are solved, and you can just grind it out, that’s fun for the first day or two.
Rule 34 is a hell of a rule
Apparently, the Russians have never watched ROTJ. Deploy Ewoks to Poland!
Speaking of another disaster of film with too many muppets: The Happytime Murders is being panned.
Jim Brown doesn’t give a damn about what you think. He’s rooting for Trump.
Hoo-boy. A three game suspension for Meyer. I guess I can live with that, but the media talking heads sure can’t. They wanted a pound of flesh and this just won’t do. How dare he cover up…what exactly? Sorry, assholes. This is becoming an exercise in who can out-social signal each other and has zero to do with investigating domestic violence (which the Powell PD did on over 60 calls in a 90 day stretch and found absolutely nothing to substantiate the claims, and even her mother said none happened). Well go suck an egg, assholes. When you’re banging out hot takes to your hundreds of moon-faced followers hoping your paper or website stays afloat long enough for you to keep getting paychecks, Urban will be winning football games and making 30x what you are to do it and stadiums full of people will cheer him on and won’t even recognize you as you stroll the concourses at halftime.
I’m sorry, I went off on a tangent there. Let’s get some sports scores going, shall we? Toronto beat Baltimore (poor Baltimore), Chicago topped Minnesota, Milwaukee blanked the Reds, Texas took out Oakland, the world champion Houston Astros beat Seattle, Washington squeaked past Philly, Atlanta scalped Pittsburgh, Boston finally figured out Cleveland, the Cubs mauled Detroit, the Mets cut down the Giants, the Marlins cruised past the Yankees, the Rays stung the Royals, the Rockies topped the Padres, the Diamondbacks stung the Angels, and the Cardinals beat the Dodgers. The NL divisions and wild card are super tight, while the only race in the AL anymore is the west and second wild card. a little more than 30 games left per team…should be fun.
Pure genius
Just in case you were wondering what famous people were born on this date, wonder no more. We have Charles Martel, headless Louis XVI, dancer and actor Gene Kelly, jazzman Bob Crosby, actresses Vera Miles and Barbara Eden, (one of the greatest) drummer(s of all time) Keith Moon, college athlete Rudy Ruettiger, singer Rick Springfield, “Night Shift” actress Shelley Long, Jordanian Queen Noor, the ageless Julio Franco, drug aficionado River Phoenix, funny man Jay Mohr, convicted pederast Jared Fogle, and wingman to Shaq Kobe Bryant.
Also happening on this date: William Wallace was executed, Calvinists were granted rights in Holland (but it was going to happen anyway), the American Methodist Episcopal church was founded, Ghandi was released from jail after a hunger strike, “You Cant Take It With You” hit theaters, the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact was signed (for what it was worth), “The Big Sleep” also hit the silver screen, the first C-130 hit the skies, Armenia declared independence, Osama bin Asshole issued a fatwa against the United States, Quadafi was overthrown thanks to the CIA going back on our word, and the first twitter hashtag was used (God help us all).
Man, that was slim pickings. Oh well, its quality not quantity. And with that, on to…the links!
Even if he does this just to piss people off, its probably a bad idea to pardon Paul Manafort. Especially since he’s yet to go to trial for the other laundry list of charges against him, the optics are terrible.
What an asshole. And a shitty terrorist too. You’re supposed to kill infidels, not your relatives. Jesus, you can’t even Islamo-terrorism right anymore, ISIS followers. Get your shit together or we’ll have to start referring to you as the JV again.
Victim of alleged Asia Argento sexual assault speaks out. Calls out hypocrisy of Argento and speaks about his shame of being stigmatized as a male victim. I know some of you think this is a money grab, but seriously, the dude kept quiet the entire time until he was outed and if whats alleged in the settlement is true, she did effectively pull a Cosby on him. I’d like to see the police handle it at this point.
Police bust Spanish ring of endangered turtle sellers. The best part: they’re actually raising the turtles to sell and are probably getting a better survival rate than the dumbass environmentalists out there destroying property values and property rights in order to “save” them.
Today is a celebration day. Papa L was born on this day many long years ago. I am very fortunate to be able to take my sons to have birthday dinner with my father. He never got to do that. Happy Birthday, Pops.
Now, let’s get onto the WTF and outrage. I was working pretty hard in the Morning Links to line up President Pence and a bunch of you didn’t want to play. Come on! Its going to be a blast. We all know The Donald isn’t going to go quietly. We NEED impeachment so that the whole sorry spectacle plays out for months and months and ruins pretty much everyone who touches it.
Nehemiah Scudder is that you?
If you commit bank fraud, you get the Paul Manafort treatment. If you steal a bunch of data from Congress and take it to Pakistan, as well as committing fraud you get…. three months probation? What in the fuck?! Are you kidding me?! Its fine to commit fraud as long as I some of it to build a women’s shelter?
Prosecutors said the Hunters spent more than $250,000 on personal expenses that they concealed as campaign-related gifts, donations and travel.
Bomb threat at Arlington National Cemetery. Hopefully, this is just some asshole who thought it would be a fun prank. God forbid anyone pull this off, there will be a lot of angry men, well-armed and -trained, looking to punish someone.
If we have any Hawaiian Glibs — stay safe. This Florida Man knows that hurricanes are no fun.
And finally, I hate to say it, but we may not be a big hit with China’s goal to make an internet that is “clean and righteous”. We all enjoy the Hat and Hair. I don’t see a Chinese spin-off in our future.
While (most of) you were sleeping, the Astros managed to win a game and hang on to a share of the AL West lead in the process since the A’s did likewise. I don’t know how it came to this, but injuries can’t be blamed nearly as much as a dreadful bullpen can. I’m starting to watch the Mariners as much as the A’s now and see how we’re looking in the second wild card slot. Your other winners yesterday were: Washington, Atlanta, Toronto (poor Balmer), Cleveland, Detroit, New York (NL), New York (AL), Cincinnati, Minnesota, San Diego, Arizona, and St Louis.
Give this man his job back
In college football news, Jimbo Fisher has some kid lob a bunch of accusations at him and is given a chance to respond (after the story was printed, of course) but declines to. Most of the complaints sound like a kid who doesn’t want to work hard anymore. A couple are a bit more serious, but we should remember that we’re only getting to hear one side of the story before the “investigation” is done and should take them with a grain of salt. Meanwhile, Ohio State’s Board of Trustees will meet this morning to discuss the Zach and Courtney Smith saga and the role Urban Meyer played in it. Rumors are swirling, with most people saying he will receive at most a short suspension. I guess we’ll all know some time today (after refreshing our google search of “Urban Meyer” every two minutes) when it finally breaks. But if they fire him, you’re gonna have a lot of pissed off fans, boosters students, players, coaches and anyone who respects journalistic integrity and a right to respond before a story is published (and stealth edited a dozen times without note). And fuck Brett mcMurphy for essentially using a scorned woman to advance his career. He’s ruining the lives of her children in an attempt to settle a score with Meyer, and its disgusting. Also, fuck hypocrites like Clay Travis and Doug Gottlieb for being the way they are.
Thank you for your greatness
Frog composer Claude Debussy was born on this date. He shares it with: American chemist and founder of GE research lab Willis Rodney Whitney, Crazy Kat cartoonist George Herriman, author Dorothy Parker, filmmaker Leni Riefenstahl, Sociopathic communist Deng Xiaoping, blues master John Lee Hooker, brilliant author Ray Bradbury, “Stormin’” Norman Schwarzkopf, Red Sock Cary Yastrzemski, football coach Bill Parcells, felon Scooter Libby, Brewer/Blue Jay/Twin Paul Molitor, musicians Vernon Reid, Juan Croucier, Debbi Peterson, and Tori Amos, tennis legend Mats Wilander, television’s Giada De Laurentiis, actress Kristin Wiig, and Wu-Tang Clan member GZA.
Its also the date on which James Cook landed in Australia, the HMS Resolution returned to England (without Cook), the US annexed New Mexico, Gandhi formed the NIC, Cadillac was founded, J Edgar Hoover was named assistant director of the FBI (but didn’t wear a dress to the ceremony), the Beatles arrived in New York for the first time, the last VW Rabbit rolled off the assembly line, “Stand By Me” was released, Nolan Ryan recorded his 5000th strike out (Rickey Henderson), and FBI sniper Lon Horiuchi murdered Vicki Weaver in Idaho.
Chicago police chief gets it wrong again. Well, mostly wrong. Maybe he needs to find a mirror or a look at the amount of money his department has cost the city in excessive force and wrongful death suits over the past decade. Or the reports of his black hole jails people get thrown into and disappear.
The Mollie Tibbetts case reached a grisly and sad ending. Now we can move on to the finger-pointing about the killer being an illegal immigrant (true), about the fact that he worked for a prominent republican family (true) and about how nobody cares about shit like this unless its a pretty white girl (not true), and all the other people out there who will climb on her dead body for their own selfish bullshit (without a doubt).
And in news that everyone who thinks about race first will be interested in, Idris Elba announces that he will NOT be the next James Bond. I hear that matters to a lot of people. I’m sure we will get a lot of hot takes throughout the day on it, although I won’t care because I’m completely absorbed in my work (and the Urban Meyer situation, obviously).
Wow. I think I might have still been under the influence of alcohol when I reported to my workstation this morning. No, no, I didn’t endanger anyone. Just walked myself upstairs without stumbling and sat down. Note to self: Eat, don’t drink your dinner tonight, dumbass. That will be easy tonight as I have a pork butt cooking in the slow cooker. It is Taco Tuesday, and I will be doing my part!
I think we all knew this is how the story of this young lady would end. But still very sad.
She Guevara visits former employer which closed in part due to minimum wage laws She advocates for.
SLD, businesses should be able to choose who they associate with, but Wells Fargo terminates political candidate’s account for supporting marijuana legalization. We, also, get to choose who we do business with.
It looks like the jury is hung on at least one count in Paul Manafort’s case. For a defense that called no witnesses, this is a win.
Anticlimactic end to a local Florida Man story. I only post this because TBT’s coverage of this has been breathless. Running at least 3 stories on the “murdered” gopher tortoise. One of which featured a young child who was breathlessly heartbroken about it. Turns out, some guy was just trying to make sure he got to work on time as a crossing guard at the school.
If you have a child starting college (or are starting college yourself) I strongly urge you to get the meningitis vaccine or at least ask your doctor about it. My wife had a friend die of bacterial meningitis during college. The good news is almost nobody gets bacterial meningitis, the bad news is, the fatality rate is pretty darn high. Antibiotics, for the most part get trapped on the wrong side of the blood-brain barrier, so acute treatment is not as effective as it should be.
Everyone needs goals. May need headphones for this one.
Well my daughter didn’t get sent home from school yesterday. So that’s good. And her teacher had a lot more energy and excitement about her when we dropped her off, which is also good. So my hopes are improving…unlike Orioles fans, whose hopes for avoiding a 110-loss season keep taking hits. They lost to the Blue Jays last night. Other winners were: Atlanta, Cleveland, Chicago (AL), San Francisco, Tampa, Milwaukee, Oakland, and St Louis. And Liverpool beat Crystal Palace 2-0, although the penalty called for the first goal was admittedly weak.
Genius taken too soon
The birthdays we celebrate on this date include: gangster Bugsy Moran, band leader Count Basie, animator Friz Freling, hockey legend Toe Blake, (better than his son-)sportscaster Jack Buck, sex-master and top five basketball players of all time Wilt Chamberlain, country musician Kenny Rogers, the late, great genius Joe Strummer, bassist Glenn Hughes, drummer Steve Smith,actress Kim Cattrall, French cartoonist Stephane Charbonnier, billionaire Sergey Brin, killer Amy Fisher and world’s fastest man Usain Bolt.
Its also the day on which: the Mongol civil war ended at Xanadu, Nat Turner led a slave uprising, the Venetian blind was patented, William S Burroughs patented the adding machine, Babe Ruth hit his 600th home run, “Bambi” hit theaters, Hawaii joined the union, Romania adopted their constitution, Rollie Fingers became the first pitcher to record 300 saves, Latvia declared independence from the Soviet Union and Randy Weaver’s son was murdered by FBI agents.
Looks like the left have returned to one of their standards: destruction of property rather than a reasoned debate. The statue, erected 105 years ago, was pulled down as police stood idly by and allowed the mob to do what mobs do. But I’m sure these asshats will quit when thy get what they want and it won’t spiral out of control…like its done throughout history.
Idiot 2
A portrait of the artist asshole as a young man. (With apologies to James Joyce.) This sociopath is in for a long and unhappy life unless he unscrews his head from his sphincter. Because eventually the media will get tired of him and then he’ll just be another douchebag with delusions of grandeur who probably resorts to strangling puppies as he slides further into mental illness.
Yeah, I’m wondering who the fuck thought this was a good idea. I’m hoping their explanation of their HR Dept being hacked is accurate, because if not, they may as well start shuttering the building because they aren’t going to be in business very long.
So, just asking for a friend… if you were to find a person’s work computer open, and this person daily made your life annoying, and you were in Dearborn, MI; would it be wrong to enter a bunch of jihad search terms in their browser and start just clicking links at random. And if so, how wrong? Is this the equivalent of SWATting or just, you know, a fun prank between co-workers? I need to know in the next couple of weeks because this idea is very attractive to me today, but I may not be my best self.
Oh boy, here’s the TRUTH on vaping. It may not be “completely” safe. Much like eating, or using fitness equipment for exercise, if you do it an infinite number of times, eventually it may be fatal. God forbid that peasants without multiple medical degrees be able to judge their own risk tolerance (even if wrongly).
Add me to the list of people who think “Confidential Mode” in Gmail is not confidential to anyone that matters.
TOP. MEN. in Venezuela tie currency to oil-backed blockchain that many think is a scam. Remember, folks, this is where Elizabeth Warren wants to end up with her Supervised Capitalism or whatever she is calling it.
My three year old asked if he could listen to the end of this before I dropped him off at daycare. I figure we’re about eight years from “…and that’s how the band that wrote ‘Lost in the Supermarket’ ended up selling Jaguars to a song about London after a nuclear strike.” But you gotta start with the catchy ones.
Its back to school day at the Sloopy household. And that means Baby Reason goes to kindergarten today. Should be a tearful affair…for her teacher. But if that lady’s level of enthusiasm from meet the teacher night is any indication, the woman will probably sleep through half the year.
A metaphor for the entire season
Speaking of sleeping through the year, the Orioles got shut out by the Indians last night. They’re on pace to lose over 110 games this year. Yikes. Besides the Indians, the other winners were: Tampa Bay, New York (AL), Cincinnati, Colorado, Miami, Pittsburgh, Chicago (AL), Milwaukee, Texas, Los Angeles, New York (NL), Arizona and the world champion Houston Astros, who regained sole possession of first place in the AL West after blowing their huge lead.
Across the pond, your EPL results were: Cardiff and Newcastle tied, Everton won, Leicester won, Tottenham won, Bournemouth won, Chelsea beat Arsenal, Watford won, Man With annihilated Huddersfield 6-1, and Brighton humiliated Man United 3-2 in a game that was nowhere near as close as the scoreline. Liverpool play Crystal Palace today.
A true example of the American dream.
If you were born on this date, then you share it with Antarctica discoverer Fabian Gottlieb von Bellinghausen, Naval genius Oliver Hazard Perry, president Benjamin Harrison, author H.P. Lovecraft, Italian Salvatore Quasimodo, boxing- and self-promoter Don King, musician Sneaky Pete Kleinow, libeetarian-ish politician Ron Paul, Serbian strongman Slobodan Milosevic, smooth-voiced Isaac Hayes, vocalist Robert Plant, rocker Paul Lynette, once-fat weatherman Al Roker, rapper KRS-One, “singer” Fred Durst, lovely actress Amy Adams, and whack-job Demi Lovato.
Its also the date on which the following happened: Hungary was established, the Civil War was officially declared over, Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture opened in Moscow, the dial telephone was patented, East Germany began erecting a physical wall, LBJ signed the shitty Economic Opportunity Act into law, and NASA launched Voyager 2.
Lots of musicians born on this date, that’s for sure. Well anyway, here come…the links.
#metoo Asia Argento #metoo
Harvey Weinstein accuser and ex- of Anthony Bourdain has some explaining of her own to do. She’s the first to end up on both sides of the #metoo circus.
Wait, three of them at a peace picnic, no less? Did somebody misspell it on the flyer and people thought it was a “bring your piece” picnic? What a train wreck of a city.
Wow, talk about being a deep sleeper. Also, “faces life in prison”… that can’t be right, can it? Either way, he’s gonna be deported as soon as he serves his time. Anyway, weirdness all around.
ROLLING, ROLLING, ROLLING…KEEP THAT GRAIN TRAIN ROLLING.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. QUICK REFRESHER FOR ALL OF YOU;
THE PENIS IS EVIL
THE GUN IS GOOD
GOT IT? GOOD. THEN ZARDOZ MAY CONTINUE. SINCE YOU HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFULLY RAISED FROM BRUTALITY, YOU HAVE EARNED AN EXTRA LINK TONIGHT. YES, YES, ZARDOZ ACCEPTS YOUR PRAISES.
YES, YOUR APPLAUSE HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED.
RECEIVE THEN, THE GIFT OF THE LINK!
ZARDOZ IS SHOCKED. SHOCKED! TWITTER ADMITS A BIAS…BUT DENIES ACTING ON IT. ZARDOZ HAS A BRIDGE HE WOULD LIKE TO SELL YOU, SHOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT. THE BRIDGE IS IN THE BRUTAL HABITATION OF BROOKLYN.
SPANISH SPEAKING BRUTALS ILLEGALLY IMMIGRATE…BUT IT IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK. WOULD THIS DISQUALIFY THEM FROM BEING INCLUDED WITH CANNABIS SATIVA AND PENISING IN THE REAR AREA?
SPEAKING OF IMMIGRATION, THIS REPTILE MUST HAVE IMMIGRATED FROM FLORIDA.
ZARDOZ MUST ADMIT A CERTAIN…ADMIRATION FOR THE INGENUITY OF BRUTALS IN THE UK TO TRY CLEANSING WITH ANYTHING AT HAND. ZARDOZ SHOULD GIVE THEM THE GIFT OF THE GUN TO MAKE THEM MORE EFFICIENT.
GOOD DOGGIE! WELL, WOULD HAVE BEEN, HAD HE FINISHED THE JOB. NEXT TIME, POOCH, FINISH THE CLEANSING OF THE BRUTAL.
It’s too bad Sundays are slow for comments because this is a day rich in news. And in anniversaries. For example, today is the birthday of Renee Richards (author of the autobiography Tennis Without Balls), noted cigar enthusiast Bill Clinton, the nightmarish Mary Matalin, and equally nightmarish musician Ginger Baker. In honor of the last, enjoy Pressed Rat and Warthog.
Without further ado or anecdote about the goings on in the Candy/SP household (“Stop writing about me, people are going to start believing that shit!”), let’s turn to the news.
Three people were shot at a back-to-school peace picnic held at a playground in Chicago on Saturday night. A fourth person was beaten up at the event that was held to promote peace and community.
The picnic, which took place at Seward Park on the city’s North Side, was off to a safe start, but onlookers say the mood quickly turned when a group of young men showed up and started fighting.
So, which “reverend” will lead the next “protest”?
The church, commonly referred to as the Mormons, really wants people to stop using that word. It also wants people to stop using LDS as an abbreviation. From now on, it prefers that people use the church’s full name, and when a shortened reference is needed, to just use “the Church” or “Church of Jesus Christ.”
Those poor Latter Day Saints, they had their name scraped off the door.
“Mormon is a long-standing nickname for the church and for the movement, but the church leadership has always been concerned that the nickname has obscured the fundamentally Christian nature of the church and the religion,” [professor of Mormon Studies Patrick] Mason told CNN. “Especially since they’re so many people who’ve criticized the church and have done so historically for not being Christian or orthodoxly Christian. The church leadership really wants to emphasize the fact that it is a Christian church.”
“At the end of the day, we want to be able to decide on our own,” Chris Swafford, a father of five kids in the school district, told Fox 4. “I thought it was overstepping at its finest. It’s up to parents what their children eat. Parents’ lives are busy. They sometimes have things going on, and sometimes, grabbing a 10-piece nugget from McDonald’s and taking it to their child shouldn’t be an issue.”
And inevitably, some don’t.
However, some parents support the district’s decision, saying it promotes lunch equality and healthier eating habits. “Oddly I support this. I would hope they are doing this for the right reasons though. That being it’s simply not right for kids who do not ever get these things to watch the other classmates eat it in front of them. Some parents can’t afford to bring child fast food.”
Lunch equality?
Kofi Annan is dead. At last. Of course, there’s the usual outpouring of sympathy and lionization of a fabulously corrupt leech who managed to completely bungle his role when it came to the genocide of millions. That’s the shit that gets you Nobel Peace Prizes.
“Kofi Annan was a diplomat and humanitarian who embodied the mission of the United Nations like few others,” Obama said in a Facebook post. “His integrity, persistence, optimism, and sense of our common humanity always informed his outreach to the community of nations.”
Rwandans are apparently not part of the “community of nations.” Well, mostly because they were slaughtered while Annan wrote reports and skimmed off billions in UN graft. But hey, he had a great voice and looked like Morgan Freemen!
The protection of Palestinian civilians could be improved by the deployment of UN-mandated armed forces or unarmed observers, a beefed-up UN civilian presence, or expanded UN assistance, Secretary-General Antonio Guterres wrote on Friday in a report.
What a great idea! Ignore that it’s been done repeatedly and it’s been a disaster each time. THIS time, it’s gonna work because we wrote a REPORT.
I suppose we should count our blessings that this is one place where Bush-Obama-Trump haven’t stuck American armed forces. May it ever be thus.
President Trump plans next week to unveil a proposal that would empower states to establish emission standards for coal-fired power plants rather than speeding their retirement — a major overhaul of the Obama administration’s signature climate policy and one that could significantly increase the release of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. The plan, which is projected to release at least 12 times the amount of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere compared to the Obama rule over the next decade, comes as scientists have warned the world will experience increasingly dire climate impacts absent a major cut in carbon emissions.
So let me get this straight- the panic here is because carbon regulation will get tighter, but not as tight as Obama wanted (but couldn’t have enacted into actual law)?
While EPA projects that the U.S. power sector’s overall carbon output will decline over time due to market pressures and other factors after the new rule takes effect, the policy shift would make it increasingly difficult for America to meet the international climate goals it adopted under the previous administration.
Oh-ho, so the problem is that the laws aren’t aligned with the Paris Climate treaty that we never actually ratified, but that Obama signed us onto unilaterally. And of course, let’s just dismiss the effect of market forces. And of course, cue the scary quotes from former Obama administration appointees.
“Yesterday we showed a dress code video that featured only female dress code violations, and was accompanied by a poor song choice. Construction in and around the campus prevented us from holding student orientation, which is typically accompanied by a fashion show that demonstrates what to wear, and what not to wear. We believed a video would be a good way to replace the fashion show, but this video absolutely missed the mark.”
A Muslim couple have been denied Swiss citizenship after they refused to shake hands with people of the opposite sex during their interview, officials say. They confirmed the decision on Friday, further citing the couple’s failure to integrate and respect gender equality. The couple, interviewed months ago, also struggled to answer questions by members of the opposite sex.
The couple were not asked about their faith, authorities said, though their religion seemed apparent, local media reported.
More importantly, could they identify the parts of a cuckoo clock, drill holes in cheese, and make a proper fondue?
Old Guy Music! And proof that you can never have too much Monk. Of course he plays the piano all wrong and probably had an IQ of 65 in the way we measure such things, and was likely deeply autistic. Yet somehow, the writing and performance were works of true genius, and he may have completely changed the way that three generations of musicians approached chord progressions and timing. But otherwise, what did he really do? (Maybe number one on my list of people I never got to see live and horribly regret not being able to do so) Here he is with Charlie Rouse, who uniquely understood Monk’s voice and was… just perfect here.
