Howdy, Glibs. Thanks for putting up with me actually working. I expect you’ll see a lot of guest authors in the Afternoon Links next week as I’m onsite for user testing. This week has been a hellish ordeal of Murphy’s Law and the Law of IT Projects (no matter how pessimistically you schedule a project, its never pessimistic enough). This has been a real death-march week, but things just turned around this afternoon. I feel like I have some hope of delivering something users can at least test. Note to Future Brett: Next time someone says “we want to integrate all of our organization’s disconnected databases with 6-15 years’ worth of data, AND build a CRM system in a year” — gut-laugh and run away.
Oh Florida Man — Conning straight guys into gay sex and uploading the videos. That’s not cool bro. I mean, who are the idiots who go have random encounters where you have to wear a blindfold?
Rod Rosenstein seems to be setting himself up for a 2nd career outside the DOJ after the NYT broke this.
Come on, people. Act like you’ve been there bef…oh right. Carry on.
Cleveland Browns fans unite! You’ve actually won a game for the first time in 635 days. That’s not nearly as bad as this. But damn, it was a long time. Congratulations to you. Winners on the diamond yesterday were: Oakland (who put up 21 runs!), Boston (who clinched their division!), New York (NL), Toronto (yay Canada!), Chicago (AL), Cincinnati (go big red machine), Detroit (your city is still a shithole), and Atlanta (closing in on a division as well).
There were no surprises in the Europa League games yesterday that I can think of. Although I’m mildly surprised at how quickly Stephen Gerard (YNWA) has gotten the hang of running things at Ibrox. They’ll challenge for their league next year.
Well, what are you going to do about it, Glibby?
Today’s birthdays include: First emperor of the Ming Dynasty Hongwu, American flag designer Francis Hopkinson, brilliant writer H.G. Wells, one of the greatest animators ever Chuck Jones, American media mogul John Kluge, another cartoonist Jay Ward, musician David Cohen, actor Larry Hagman, comedian Henry Gibson, NASCAR owner Richard Childress, great writer but asshole person Stephen King, one of the five greatest comedic actors of all time Bill Murray, drummer Phil Taylor, filmmaker Ehan Coen, Japanese PM Shinzo Abe, black hockey pioneer Grant Fuhr, drummer Tyler Stewart, actress Ricki Lake, actor Luke Wilson, singer Liam Gallagher and crooked politician Samantha Power.
Its also the day on which the following happened: King Richard I was captured, Nathan Hale was arrested, Charles Tiffany founded his first jewelry store, the flashbulb was patented, Franco named Generalissimo by the fascists, “The Hobbit” was published, Perry Mason premiered, so did Adam-12, Monday Night Football premiered (and oddly enough the Browns beat the Jets that night), Belize became independent, Sandra Day O’Conner was sworn in as the first female SC justice, and the final home game in Yankee Stadium was played.
There was a lot more to today historically than yesterday. Anyway, on to…the links!
Yeah, but was it at least a licensed daycare? I’ll assume it was since there was no mention one way or the other (like there was a couple days ago when an unlicensed daycare worker did something bad. Either way: Christ, what an asshole.
The prosecution has rested in the Jason Van Dyke trial. Now comes the endless stream of cops saying what a great job he did and that he should probably get a raise. Or something like that. Then comes the verdict…and the inevitable riots when he walks.
Since Brett’s worklife has descended into the Fifth Circle of Hell (anger), I have benevolently stepped in to provide you, my loyal Glibertariat, with links. You’re welcome.
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A full slate of games last night brought us the following winners: Atlanta, the MINNESOOOOODA TWIIIIINS!!!!!, Tampa Bay, Philly, New York (AL), Baltimore, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Milwaukee, Seattle, San Diego, Arizona, Los Angeles and Oakland. The playoff pictures are pretty firm with ten games or so to go for everyone. But let’s see if anything weird can happen.
Is Jeep really that big in Italy?
UCL winners were: Ajax, Bayern, Lyon (over a listless Man City), Real and Man United. A couple of the games ended in a tie. And the entire soccer world lost (even though Juventus won) when Ronaldo was sent off for the most absurd bullshit I may have ever seen. Seriously, that was insane. I only hope UEFA can see the penalty rescinded and not have him suspended. But knowing how corrupt they are, its gonna come down top who hands them a bag with the most cash in it. Europe League games today…have fun if your team is stuck in that competition.
Writer and scourge of high school juniors Upton Sinclair was born on this date. As were NBA legend Red Auerbach, comedian “Slappy” White, actress Sophia Loren, fat writer George R.R. Martin, Liverpool FC and Boston Red Sox owner John Henry, the ageless Guy Lafleur, rocker Chuck Panozzo, comedic actor Gary Cole, rock xylophone player/vocalist Alannah Currie, whack-job Asia Argento, and driver Juan Pablo Montoya.
“Watch the show…or I’ll rape you.” -Bill
Its also the day Saladin began his siege of Jerusalem, Magellan set off on his expedition, the Battle of the Alma kicked the Crimean War into gear, the electric range was patented, The Italian Army captured Rome and unified Italy, Boss Tweed was accused of robbing the New York treasury, Chase Bank opened for business, Chester A Arthur was sworn in as president, Francis Ouimet won the US Open (and if you haven’t seen “The Greatest Game Ever Played”, you’re missing out on a fine movie), Bugs Moran put out a (failed) hit on Al Capone, Gandhi began a hunger strike, the first FORTRAN program was run, JFK proposed a joint US-USSR mission to the moon (because we used to try to engage our enemies without the media going into an apoplectic rage of partisanship. Unfortunately it failed because Russia had adopted the metric system. And no nation using the metric system has ever made it to the moon), Billie Jean King beats Bobby Riggs (and he settles a few outstanding debts according to rumor), the “Cosby Show” premiered, and a suicide car bomb kills 23 at the US embassy in Beruit.
The birthdays sucked, but a few big events there. Anyway, on to…the links!
Sure would be nice if the media reported on this man allegedly beating the shit out of women.
And in a story that has miraculously evaded the mainstream media, a woman comes forward with medical documentation showing a fear of more physical abuse against a major player in one of the two political parties. I’m sure this lack of coverage is due to their staffs being spread so thin what with the hurricane, the Kavanaugh story and other shit. Sure.
Now this is the kind of protest I can fully support. Sorry coppers, but people have a right to record you in public. And the fact that you’re mistreating someone when they are filming you is no excuse for throwing them in the slammer. “Liberal, tolerant San Francisco”, my ass.
Before Rufus gets a chance to ask the question: yes, some of us DO work. One of those people is apparently Brett. I guess getting loaded on cocaine and blowing strangers is just for fun. In his absence, I’ll be providing links. If someone posted something earlier, I apologize. I haven’t been paying attention.
Cody Wilson’s no good, very bad day. I want to believe this guy has been caught up in a plot to “neutralize” him, but he seems to have set served himself up on a silver platter by signing up for a site called SugarDaddyMeet, exchanging nudes with a minor (article says the girl was *under* 17 the age of consent in Texas [you’re welcome for keeping you off a list by looking it up for you]), and then hiring her for sex. The bragging about being “a big deal” may not have been helpful either.
Normally, this story would have me glancing at the headline and moving on, but how can I resist linking to a story with the phrase “rape by use of drugs, oral copulation by anesthesia or controlled substance”. The surgeon in question is relatively pretty, and I can guarantee his near future will include rigorous training on the value of consent.
I assume this is just fake news meant to fluff The Meg, but it’s still neat. “the males would each travel in a V-shape pattern as many as 140 times a day. It’s unclear if the behavior is related to mating or if they are hunting for different species of fish.”
Speaking of unfortunate interactions between adults and minors, Mr. Michael Aliperti threatened to shoot an 11 year old who beat him at Fortnight and got arrested for it. Mr. Aliperti should fix a cup of chamomile and take a long hard look at where life has taken him.
Our user engagement analytics department indicates that we need more Minnesota content, so…here
Middle of the week and I feel like I’ve already done 50 hours of work with no end in sight. Ugh. Well at least I am not affiliated with the Arizona Diamondbacks. They’ve had a longer week than me so far. And yes, that means they lost to the Cubs…who shared the winning yesterday with: Toronto, New York (AL), Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, the MINNESOOOOOODA TWIIIIIINS!, Washington, St Louis, Cincinnati, Tampa Bay, Anaheim, Los Angeles, San Francisco and the world champion Houston Astros.
Nice win!
UCL got off to a rousing start as Liverpool took down PSG 3-2. Elsewhere, Inter beat Spurs and the other winners were Barca, Athletico, Borussia Dortmund, and Galatasary. Red Star Belgrade and Naples drew, as did Schalke and Porto. Another slate of games today with the two Manchester teams in action as well as Juve, Real, and Bayern. Enjoy.
I also started noticing preseason hockey scores this morning. Holy shit, this offseason has flown by.
Give that man a hand for a great career and life.
Today’s famous birthdays are: Lord Of The Flies author William Golding, baseball player Duke Snider, overly-dramatic James Lipton, Batman actor Adam West, Beatles manager Brian Epstein, singer Cass Elliot, Reds legend Joe Morgan, actor Jeremy Irons, “Innocence Project” founder (and here) Barry Scheck, rocker Lita Ford, “comedian” Jimmy Fallon, playmate of the year Victoria Silverstead, and inspirational one-handed MLB pitcher Jim Abbott.
Major shit that went down on this date include: George Washington gave his presidential farewell address, the first carpet sweeper was patented, the San Siro opened with a match between AC and Inter, Charlie Chaplin was barred re-entry to the United States, Juan Peron fled Argentina, Disneyland told Nikita Khrushchev to fuck off, The Mary Tyler Moore show hit the small screen, Fawlty Towers (which couldn’t be made today) also premiered, “Goodfellas” hit the big screen, and the Unabomber’s manifesto was published by the NYT and Washington Post.
Ok, on to…the links!
You might want to sit this one out, you old hag.
I’ve heard tone-deaf statements before. We all have. But this, my fellow Glibs, might take the award for most tone-deaf statement ever made. Oh yeah, she went there. Also, a Senator said men need to shut up and do the right thing. And by “right thing”, she means do what Team Blue wants them to do without any evidence to support the position of this eleventh hour accusation that was sat on for months. Meanwhile, the Senator who released the accusation said she’s not even sure the woman is telling the truth. Oh yeah, and the accuser wants an FBI probe (into what is not a federal crime) before she even agrees to testify. TL/DR: its a shitshow of social signaling.
Los Angeles is home to tens of thousands of homeless, has a serious problem with affordable housing, has cops that treat people like shit with impunity, carries unsustainable public debt, and has a host of other problems because of over-regulation. But give them credit for tackling the most important issues. Christ, what a bunch of assholes.
Looks like Van Dyke’s lawyers have found their defense strategy. If it works, you can go ahead and completely kiss equal justice away in Chicago. Not that its really existed in a while but you can kiss it away for good. And you can go ahead and plan for the National Guard to be needed for the riots that will come.
You know how when cops arrest someone they tend to overcharge them and pile on extra shit? Well, here is the opposite happening. See if you can guess why.
Hey guys, how’s your day going. Mine went to “Microsoft doesn’t support native data integrations for a very key feature of one of its flagship products” hell just after the swag post. So… it looks like I’m pulling an all-nighter to write something that should already exist. Hoofuckin’-ray. I mean, this is literally why they pay me good money, but goddam I’m ready to not make a living in the “our shit works 90% the way it should and 10% in the most fucked up manner possible” space.
Also, its a pretty slow links day.
Somehow, in the action movies, it never quite ends like this when you drive a car out onto the runway.
Los Angeles, having solved all of their other problems and being a perfect city, has turned their attention to a ban on fur products. Hey, we haven’t had a good cop beatdown in years in LA, so… progress?
Is it really sexist that Apple made an iPhone too big for Trump’s hands?
Good news, comrades, now we will combine “living in your car” with “autonomous vehicles” to produce the “self-driving home”. I feel like medium-famous bands have been doing this for 50 years.
Hope your week has gotten off to a good start. Mine’s been hellish already. Although I’m still relishing the Buckeyes game against TCU over the weekend that I went to with my daughter.And speaking of sports, the Bears beat the Seahawks last night. And your baseball winners were: Toronto, New York (NL), Pittsburgh, Minnesota, Miami, St Louis, Milwaukee, Tampa, Seattle, Chicago, Los Angeles and San Francisco.
Big match today
UCL group play begins today. Some compelling matches on the slate. Enjoy them if you’re lucky enough to catch them today.
Famous 9/18 birthdays include: Roman Emperor Trajan, actress Greta Garbo, hockey coaching legend Scotty Bowman, comedian Fred Willard, singer/actor Frankie Avalon, guitarist Kerry Livgren, hockey goon Darryl Sittler, Doobie Brother Mike Hossack, scumbag basketball coach Rick Pitino, baseball legend Ryne Sandberg, the late, great James Gandolfini, uniballed steroid aficionado Lance Armstrong, actress Jada Pinkett Smith and the lovely Aisha Tyler.
“Here you go world. You’re welcome.”
Big happenings on this date include: George Washington laid the cornerstone (he was a mason after all) for the Capitol building, the New York Times started its run (and I’m sure they were spoiling for some kind of war in their first edition), Booker T Washington gave his “Atlanta Compromise” address, “A Streetcar Named Desire” hit the silver screen, the first Visa cards were mailed out, “The Addams Family” hit the small screen, Momofuko Ando marketed the first Cup Of Noodles (and should have won the Nobel Prize for it), the FBI captured Patty Hearst, the disgusting human being Mao Zedong’s funeral was held, KISS appeared on MTV “unmasked”…and still sucked, Hurricane Hugo landed in Puerto Rico, and Ted Turner pissed away a billion dollars by donating it to the United Nations.
A Japanese billionaire will be the first tourist to travel around the moon. He will also be the first non-American to do so. Because 24 Americans have already done so. Without the fucking metric system, by the way.
Americans commute times to work keep getting longer. Yeah, you’d almost think people are willing to drive further in to work just to not have to live in an urbanized place. Wow, what a shock. Meanwhile, progressives are attempting to herd everybody into cities by ruining infrastructure for drivers and replace as much of it as they can by mass transit and idiotic cycling lanes.
According to Canada’s BNN Bloomberg , the drinks giant is in talks with local producer Aurora Cannabis about developing marijuana-infused beverages.
These would not aim to intoxicate consumers but to relieve pain.
The firm declined to comment but said it was watching the cannabis drinks market closely.
“Along with many others in the beverage industry, we are closely watching the growth of non-psychoactive cannabidiol as an ingredient in functional wellness beverages around the world,” Coca-Cola said in a statement.
Cannabidiol, a constituent of cannabis, can help ease inflammation, pain and cramping, but has no psychoactive effect.
It comes as Canada prepares to follow certain US states in legalising cannabis for recreational use, after years of permitting it for medicinal purposes.
It has given rise to a large pot growing industry and some high-profile partnerships.
Earlier this year, beer giant Molson Coors Brewing said it would make cannabis-infused drinks with Hydropothecary, while Corona-beer maker Constellation Brands invested $4bn more into pot firm Canopy Growth.
A partnership between Coke and Aurora would mark the first entry of a major manufacturer of non-alcoholic drinks into the market.
A little caffeine, a little weed, maybe some dark rum to mellow it all out…
On Sunday evening the tension building between Mark Burnett and Tom Arnold broke into physical violence, although it’s unclear who initiated the escalation.
The brawl took place at the “Evening Before Emmy” party which was a fundraiser for the Motion Picture Television Fund, and both parties are claiming that they fended off unprovoked attacks.
Here’s Arnold’s tweet claiming on twitter that Burnett “went apeshit” and “choked” him:
Tom Arnold
Mark Burnett just went apeshit & choked me at this huge Emmy party then he ran away with his torn Pink shirt & missing gold chain. I’m waiting for LAPD
Roma Downey, Burnett’s wife, tweeted her own account, claiming that Arnold had planned the altercation, and posting a photo of a bruise as evidence:
Roma Downey
Got this bruise tonight when Tom Arnold tried to ambush my husband Mark and me at a charity event. Is your TV show worth it Tom? Please stop
Tesla CEO and Chairman Elon Musk on Sunday said the electric vehicle maker will soon bring most collision repairs in-house — a promise he first made during the company’s annual shareholder meeting in June.
In a series of tweets on Sunday, Musk blamed outside shops for taking too long to complete repairs.
Specifically, Musk wrote: “Tesla is bringing most collision repairs in-house, as outside firms take weeks to months for repairs, driving Tesla owners (and us) crazy.”
Tesla CEO Elon Musk has been sued for libel and slander by the rescue diver he called a “pedo guy” and “child rapist,” according to the lawsuit filed in a U.S. district court in California.
British cave explorer Vernon Unsworth filed a lawsuit against Musk on Monday in a U.S. District Court in California for defamation. Unsworth is seeking at least $75,000 in compensatory damages, as well as an injunction against Musk requiring him to “refrain from making further publication of the False and Defamatory Accusations,” according to court documents.
“Elon Musk falsely accused Vern Unsworth of being guilty of heinous crimes,” L. Lin Wood, attorney representing Vernon Unsworth, said in a statement. “Musk’s influence and wealth cannot convert his lies into truth or protect him from accountability for his wrongdoing in a court of law.”
Tesla stock dipped as much as 2 percent Monday morning on news the Saudi Arabia’s sovereign wealth fund has invested $1 billion in rival Lucid Motors.
By early afternoon, Tesla regained its footing, gaining 1.2 percent.
The investment will fund Lucid Motor’s 2020 commercial launch of its first electric vehicle, the Lucid Air, Reuters reported.
Tesla CEO Elon Musk had previously touted conversations with the Saudi fund as key in considerations to take Tesla private. Musk cited a potential Saudi investment as justification for his take-private tweet in early August and claim that the necessary funding had been secured. After an uproar, Musk and Tesla eventually ended their plans to go private.
Your Linkings will be Swiss this morning. All in order and timely. The content will be interesting, but not too interesting. Neat and orderly. Pleasant and comfortable.
Sports were played yesterday. Sports will also occur tonight. People were born on this date, and various events happened.
Which one of you Glibs is this?
So – here are your morning links:
Perhaps it was just looking for a pineapple and ham deep dish? Now if we only knew it’s stance on abortion and which Star Trek captain it thought best…
I would be shocked, shocked, I tell you…to find gambling at Rick’s! I do have to wonder what internal controls Amazon has in place to combat this obvious risk.
Amazon Chief Compliance Officer depicted
Crazy president wants to close entire sector of economy. No, not Obama and energy…No, not Trump and importing. Look here and see.
Remember, you need to listen to your moral bettersin the entertainment world!
Musik Linkings are self service this morning. Good day to you.
SugarDaddyMeet, exchanging nudes with a minor (article says the girl was *under* 17 the age of consent in Texas [you’re welcome for keeping you off a list by looking it up for you]), and then hiring her for sex. The bragging about being “a big deal” may not have been helpful either.
Speaking of 
