Category: Advice

  • I Fucking Love Astrology: The Horoscope for the Week of August 19

    MERCURY RETROGRADE continues

    Stargazing can be depressing, since it seems like there are so many bad omens.  There actually ARE a lot of bad omens, and the most interesting things (comets, novae, etc) are the worst omens.  There are two reasons for this:

    The first is that Astrology, like all real sciences, is based on empirical observation.  The celestial influences were mapped to significant events and once a correlation was established, these correlations were codified and promulgated.  The issue is that the historical eras in which this painstaking scientific research occurred sucked camel balls.  All sorts of bad shit was going on, between plagues, famines, invasions, tyrants, pubic lice, forcible conversions, slave raids, indigestion, hyena attacks and poor kitchen hygiene coupled with no toilet paper, there were many more bad events to match up than good ones.  The charts indicate this.  There is only one planet that is unambiguous in its beneficence (Venus) and even it goes retrograde every now and then.

    The second is that “interesting” things are breaks in a pattern.  But with the stars, that pattern is perfection so any breaks are Bad Things.  If auto racing were as perfect as the stars, the best driver would have won the pole position, and the race would proceed flawlessly with no changes in the race order.  Nobody would watch this.  The biggest, brightest, most noticeable deviations in astrology (a new star appearing where there wasn’t one before) are the multi-car collisions sending flaming shrapnel into the spectator seating.

    So yeah, lots of bad news to be seen in the night sky.

    So what’s the bad news for this week?  Not a lot really, at least in comparison to last week.  That massive double-alignment of despair has broken up, with a piddly little BARCO double hinging on Mars retrograde (Sol-Luna-Mars (retrograde) and Mars (retrograde)-MERCURY RETROGRADE-Terra) which gives very weak influences in the following ways:

    1.  A conflict will end.
    2. There will be bad news regarding a war
    3. A general will have his ass handed to him (possibly literally — this is the same construction that heralded Qaddafi’s death-by-bayonet-sodomy)

    As for the celestial houses:

    Leo still has to deal with MERCURY RETROGRADE, but at least the moon has skedaddled.  If you have a cat, expect more kitty zips and general destruction from the little furball.  Haircuts are still risky, but I’ll be getting one because my hair has gotten really annoying when I have to put on a cleanroom suit.  This is also backed up by the moon moving into Sagittarius; “Nocturnal hunters awaken.”

    If you are a Capricorn, do NOT get into any fights.  Mars has backed ass-first into your sign so that Saturn (retrograde) which has been hanging out pretty clearly points to “violence leads to loss.”  Yeah, I said that wasn’t going to happen.  Either I need better charts, or I need to read them better.

    Jupiter in Scorpio:  minding your own business leads to good things.  The stars give really good advice.  SCIENCE!

    Finally, Venus in Libra.  If you can keep your center, good things follow.

    This whole week is pretty pro-Glib.  Enjoy.

     

     

  • Cut the Cord! Vive la Révolution!

     

    Cord cutting is a very libertarian movement. It’s all about the individual choosing what they want to watch and when they want to watch it. It’s about giving your money to targeted companies and not subsidizing those you disagree with. It’s about the end of intrusive commercials. This started off as a younger generation trend, but has been rapidly picking up steam and the cable companies are hemorrhaging subscribers across all age groups. While a few dinosaur CEOs are still holding out, other television companies sense the impending death of the bundled cable model and are trying to develop their own streaming services.

    In its purest spirit, cord cutting does not include ‘TV-lite’ streaming packages like Sling. I view these as being similar to methadone for the heroin addict. You still have to abide by the set viewing schedule, have commercials, and have to financially support channels you don’t watch. Just let it go. You won’t even know it’s there after a week. I usually bring a Roku with me when I travel because I can’t even stand to watch cable tv in hotels anymore.

    If you still want to watch traditional TV after cutting the cord, you’ll need to buy a package like Sling. I’ve heard PlayStation Vue is the best of these, but again, that’s like saying a can of Boyardee is better than a gas station hotdog. Shift out of that mindset entirely and get yourself a steak. I also know there will be questions about sports packages. I don’t watch sports so don’t really know the details here. I believe MLB, NASCAR, and NHL have their own packages, and ESPN is creating one. They all eventually will.

    What you’ll need

    High speed internet- At least 8 Mbps. More is better, especially with multiple devices.

    Streaming platform device- My opinion is that Roku is the best. They give you access to the greatest number of apps (called channels) within the platform. Both Apple and Amazon used to (and may still) restrict major competitors from their streaming platform. Roku doesn’t have this conflict of interest in their business model. There are also other options that include a Smart TV or gaming console. Make sure that the device is capable of handling 4K and HDR if your tv has this capability.

    Subscription Apps or Channel Services- These are what you use to watch content. Content services are usually purchased on a monthly basis. Three different channels provide more content than a person can ever watch. Unlike with traditional Cable companies who drag you through the ringer, it’s extremely easy to cancel and add these channels online with a single mouse click, so some people even cycle through different services as new content is added. Some channels will make every episode in a season available at once to let you binge (Netflix), while others post new episodes as they air on traditional TV (Hulu, HBO Now).

    Netflix This is the staple in most streaming households. There is an incredible amount of programming available for $10/month. Most of the licensed content is so-so, but their original shows are quite good.

    Amazon Prime Meh. Their content is subpar and probably the worst value of all the major streaming channels. Definitely not worth it for $10/month. If you already have this for free-shipping and Prime Music, then it’s worth checking in every now and then.

    Hulu About $10/month for the commercial free version. This one depends on what you like. Hulu is the original joint venture of several traditional TV channels and their programming reflects that. There’s a lot of reality shows, dramas, and sitcoms that have new episodes available the day after they are broadcasted. It’s not something I would keep, but my wife really enjoys it.

    Premium Channels HBO Now/ Showtime/ Starz/ Cinemax It’s worth keeping at least one of these and they are easy to cycle through. Prices range from $8-15/month, though you can get discounts too. We have HBO Now and enjoy the original programming (Sopranos, The Wire, Game of Thrones) and movie selection.

    VuduVudu is my favorite and probably most underrated channel. It’s a movie streaming service that lets you keep your own library of movies online to freely access from anywhere in the world. If you have a dvd collection you can actually add these to your streaming library. Adding regular dvds are $1 or upgrade to the high definition version for $2. They also have great deals on movies to purchase and add to your library. You can also rent 4K versions of new releases for a few dollars. Vudu does not have a service fee.

    This right here will be the death of the cinema. My family watched Jurassic World last week on our 65’’4k HDR TV with surround sound. It was far superior in quality to anything at the theater, and we could have our food and drinks. I haven’t set foot in a movie theater in over a decade, and it’s very likely my kids never will.

    YouTube There is a lot of free content on YouTube that especially appeals to kids. Mine really like this show type called Surprise Eggs which, is pretty much as it sounds…. strangers open eggs with toys inside. I don’t know, I don’t get it, but it’s like crack to them. YouTube also offers a paid subscription model, but I think this is more of a younger generation thing and don’t know anything about it.

    PornHub- Just kidding, this isn’t available as an app. Umm, let me take that back. As I researched this to make sure I was providing accurate information, I learned PornHub does in fact have an app available for Roku. Adult apps are banned from the Roku Channel Store, but it can be added manually using the channel code. Be sure to wipe down the remote after viewing.

    Traditional TV Channel Apps- As I mentioned above, the execs at many traditional tv companies have seen the writing on the wall of the future of cable tv. Their response has been to start innovating their own streaming package. These will be similar to Netflix (i.e., commercial-free and on demand) and not at all like Sling, Playstation Vue, etc. Disney is working on one now that has an anticipated release of 2019 or 2020. There is also a streaming service available now for younger kids called NOGGIN that has shows like Backyardigans, Paw Patrol, etc for $8/month. Scrips (Travel Channel, TLC, Food Network) and Discovery have recently merged companies and are creating their own streaming channel that should be available for $5/month in 2019.

    Digital antenna This will let you pick up over the air broadcasts. Enjoy it, Grandpa.

    I’ll end this by noting a common criticism of cord cutting is that it becomes as expensive as cable once you start purchasing individual streaming channels. At the cost of Internet plus $30 bucks for Netflix, HBO, and Hulu (plus free Vudu and YouTube), I don’t think this is the case at all. Even if it cost the same amount, so what?! Cord cutting is commercial free and let’s you watch what you want when you want it, so the value is immensely higher even at the same cost. I can’t imagine paying money to watch commercials. You may also hear your friendly Cable Company Rep offer to throw in a TV package for the same price as you’re paying now for just Internet. Don’t believe them. The price will jack up after one year and there will be a large number of add-on fees and taxes applicable immediately.

    Cut the Cord! Vive la Révolution!

  • YouTubers of Interest

    YouTube, despite its corporate leadership being very regressive, has become a hub for alternative viewpoints regarding current political and cultural events. I thought I’d do a writeup about YouTubers who create content I believe would be of interest to Glibs. The video creators are mainly concerned with current events from a political and/or philosophical perspective, however a few make videos about popular culture or general interest topics as well.

    This article is not meant to be either authoritative or comprehensive (and there will be follow ups regarding these or other YouTubers), but rather a jumping off point for commentators to add both their own perspectives on those I’ve listed, disagreements with my opinions, as well as discussing YouTubers I’ve omitted either through ignorance or difference in perspective.

    So here, in no particular order, are some of my YouTubers of interest:

    Liberty Doll – A Libertarian woman with a Judy Greer-esque 40’s-50s’ nerd chic vibe, she often discusses 2A issues, including the recent 3D printing kerfluffle. She also discusses current events, liberty issues, as well as feminism and other anti-liberty philosophies.

    Styxhexenhammer666 – A former Satanist and current mystic/spiritualist, Styx creates a lot of content about current political events, both foreign and domestic (including Trump). He occasionally has a slightly unusual take on matters which doesn’t always jibe with the standard libertarian view.  He’s done a couple series of non-political videos. They are mostly related to the occult, but he also has a series of garden videos.

    Matt Christiansen – His perspective is (in my view) somewhere between classical liberal and libertarian. Unlike many video producers, he doesn’t see the need to inject a hyper personality, instead stating the facts (and unleashing his acerbic wit) in his calm midwestern inflection. The videos might be on Trump or, say, pointing out the current stupidity in Portland. He also does the Beauty and the Beta podcast/livestream with Blonde in the Belly of the Beast. Blonde is an attractive woman who, over the past few years, moved from libertarianism to a much more conservative / identitarian perspective. (Think an American Lauren Southern without the public provocation).

     Sargon of Akkad / The Thinkery – One of the bigger names in the anti-SJW ‘skeptic’ YouTube community, Sargon generally holds classical liberal views. He’s able to court controversy even beyond the standard regressive community (a few Glibs have been quite critical). As a UK resident, his perspective is mainly focused on Britain. In addition to his videos on the Islamization of the UK and Europe, he also has videos about recent events.

    Karen Straughn / Honey Badger Radio – Karen and the others at Honey Badger Radio focus on men’s rights issues and critiques of feminism. The mostly female group makes interesting videos pointing out the discrepancies in feminist narratives and the legal and existential realities related to gender issues, ‘male disposability’, and why men’s issues are generally not taken seriously in the larger society (including why women should care about men’s issues).

    Freedom Toons – Freedom Toons creates satirical cartoon videos from a libertarian perspective. Some of his targets have included modern journalism and free speech. These videos are short, so they’re good if you only have 5 minutes or so.

    Bearing / Patrick – An Australian shit poster, Bearing generally goes after leftists and SJWs with humor. A couple of his recent videos have included one on the fight between Australian senators David Leyenhjelm and Sarah H Young and another on Lauren Southern’s Australia visit. His girlfriend is YouTuber Sugartits, who makes similar content.

    Hard Bastard – He largely does videos regarding current events – such as the Cohen tapes – from a right of center perspective. A former Jehovah’s Witness, he often brings a slightly different view to his videos. His girlfriend is Aydin Paladin, who is (amazingly) a sociological graduate student with a general liberty focus. She mainly does videos on recent events, but also likes to delve into academic topics, both largely using that sociological framework. She has also worked with the Honey Badgers on a few of their videos. (Note: while I find her videos interesting, they are 1) academic, and 2) not short)

    The Pholosopher – A Chinese American Ancap woman, she’s about as libertarian as you can get. A huge 2A proponent, she enjoys appearing in her anti-gun control videos with her AR. She also makes videos about how the US government has messed up the Middle East, and that taxation is theft.

    Timcast – This will probably be one of my more controversial picks. Tim Pool is a former Vice reporter who is now trying to make a living as an independent reporter. As you’d suspect from someone who used to work with Vice, his politics are left of center. I include him because he does a couple things incredibly rare for journalists these days. He tries to get his facts correct, and he separates those facts from his evaluation of them. While he deeply dislikes Trump, he actually evaluates Trump’s actions on an individual basis rather than issue a blanket condemnation. I respect this.

    Ben Shapiro – While Shapiro is mostly conservative rather than libertarian, he’s a skilled debater and often interesting. Also, since I’ve pointed out the women here a few times, let me link to his interview with Mike Rowe for Kristen.

  • Stop the (Aero)Presses

    Hello again, my caffeinated friends.  I’ve peeled a few Koch dollars off my pimp roll and bought an AeroPress for review.  I set the trusty French press aside and have been using the Aeropress for the last 2 months.  Will it replace the French press for good?  Does it make better espresso than my Moka Pot?  Is it smoother than the cold press?  Well, read on friends and find out along with my world famous…ok, vaguely remembered by a small cadre of weirdos, pro/con list!

    AeroPress Starter Kit
    AeroPress starter kit.  The barrel, plunger, filter cap, stirrer and funnel combine for easy storage.

     

    What is an AeroPress you may be asking yourself.  It is a basically an oversized syringe with a filter.  Medium ground coffee is place inside the barrel and filled with hot water (175 F) to make a regular cup of coffee.  The water and coffee steep for 60 seconds and then you invert whole apparatus over your favorite mug and press the coffee out through a paper filter, then top off the mug with hot water. If the barista prefers espresso, use a fine grind with the same water temperature and steep time, but don’t dilute with hot water.  This deceptively simple device does allow for great variety in preparation through adjustments in water temperature, grind, steep time and how hard or soft you press the plunger.  In fact there are AeroPress world competitions to see which coffee enthusiasts can coax the best cup of Joe out of the simple and inexpensive appliance.  I give you The World AeroPress Championship for you super coffee nerds. *looks around* Just me, huh?

    So what do I think after living with the AeroPress for 2 months?  It makes a damn fine cup of coffee in under 2 minutes.  For those who don’t want to make a morning ritual of your coffee habit and just want caffeine coursing through your veins ASAP, this is a good option.  Clean up is a breeze.  After pressing the coffee all that is left is a mostly dry coffee puck.  Just shoot it into the trash can and rinse the plunger. Easy Peasy, Lemon Squeezy.  I’m not usually a fan of paper filters, but a good pre-rinse with hot water seems to eliminate the paper taste.  The filters are inexpensive and they give you enough when you buy the press starter kit that you don’t feel cheated.

    As much as I like the AeroPress, it can’t do it all.  It can’t rival the low acid smoothness of the cold brew system and it lacks the volume of the Moka pot for espresso, though I do prefer the taste of AeroPress espresso.  The AeroPress also can’t be set on a timer like most drip systems and is not well suited to making large volumes of coffee.

    So the big question, “Does it replace the French Press?”  For me, it doesn’t because I want the most pure expression of each bean that I roast.  I’m willing to trade a clean cup of coffee for the unfiltered experience. That being said, if you are the sole coffee drinker in your home, like easy clean up, don’t want to spend a ton of money, don’t have much storage space, and enjoy experimenting with grind, temperature, etc. the AeroPress is hard to beat.


    How to Use
    (Disclaimer: These are not the instructions provided by AeroPress; this is the inverted method, which I find superior)

    Step 1. Fill with ground coffee. (pro-tip* wet the rubber plunger before placing in barrel to reduce friction/extend life).


    Step 2. Fill with hot water and stir.


    Step 3. Attach filter.


    Step 4. After 1 minute steep, invert over mug.


    Step 5. Press gently until you hear air escaping.


    Step 6. Top off mug with hot water.


    Step 7.  Remove filter cap and press plunger to eject coffee puck into trash. Rinse AeroPress.


    Pros

    • cost – $33.90 starter kit that includes 350 filters
    • reliability –  so simple it is unlikely to fail in any way
    • flexibility – nearly infinite ways to make coffee
    • storage – takes up very little counter/cabinet space
    • taste – it does a really good job of extracting flavor.
    • clean – super easy clean up
    • easy to use – full disclosure* I did make a large mess when I put the coffee in wrong while sleepy
    • cup – really clean cup of coffee. no muddy coffee (sediment)

    Cons

    • filters – some people prefer unfiltered coffee
    • consumables – although not very expensive, you do have to buy replacement filters
    • serving size –  the isn’t the go to for a large dinner party
    • aesthetics – not something you want to proudly display
    • accessibility –  this might be a stretch, but if a person has arthritis or limited hand strength, the plunger may be difficult to press.
  • I Fucking Love Astrology: The Horoscope for the Week of August 12

    This week, we explore new frontiers in how-late-can-I-submit-something-and-still-make-its-slot?

    If I told you exactly how busy I’ve been, I wouldn’t have time to tell you anything else.   Suffice it to say:  Germans.

     

    Fortunately, this week the skies are pretty straightforward, if not particularly happy.  The big indicator is a FIVE (5!) planet alignment of Sol-MERCURY RETROGRADE-Terra-Luna-Mars(retrograde). None of these are good signs in and of themselves, and when you line them all up together you get bad shit happenin’ yo.  Everything is representing bad change, loss, destruction etc.  There is an interlocked alignment of Sol-Venus-Saturn(retrograde) indicating that part of this general shittiness will be the end of a loving relationship, or (possibly) a bit of pleasant novelty in the rump-pumpy aspect of life.

    Sorry.

    There is one bit of good news; Venus is in Libra.  This means that the second interpretation of the the second alignment is more likely.  Thank Bob for small favors.

    Leo, which had been enjoying niftiness is going to have a week of chaos and general shitstorms, what with MERCURY RETROGRADE and the moon causing havoc.  Huh.  Maybe I’m a week behind in my charts, because if next week is more hectic than this one…  well, it was nice knowing you all.  For the rest of you, DO NOT get a haircut this week.

    Rufus’ life remains stable.

    Jupiter really should be doing something about the general state of the skies, but instead is just vaguely helping out chemo patients in Scorpio.  I guess I can’t really bag on him too much for that.

    TW:  Hipster Porkpie, Trilby Neckbeard, 70’s Drummer, Blonde Asian, (((Redhead))), and Brunette Bassist Babe.  God Bless America.

     

  • ZARDOZ VS DEAR ABBY – THE RETURN

     

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. IT HAS COME TO ZARDOZ’S ATTENTION THAT THE CHOSEN ONES HAVE FALLEN BACK INTO THEIR LINK IGNORING WAYS. SO BE IT. THEREFOR, ZARDOZ WILL INSTEAD PROVIDE ADVICE – BETTER THAN THAT OF THE BRUTAL “DEAR ABBY“… BEHOLD!

    QMy co-worker and supposed friend asked if she could borrow my wedding dress because she thought it was so beautiful. I was thrilled to lend it to her and paid for the alterations ($200 plus) as her wedding present. I accompanied her to her fittings and helped her plan her wedding for approximately 100 friends and family.

    The kicker: My husband and I were not invited to the wedding, and when she returned my gown, it had lipstick on it and cake down the front. It wasn’t even in a bag — she just handed it to me. What should I think about this? — FLABBERGASTED IN FLORIDA

    A: TELL ZARDOZ ABOUT IT, BRUTALFRIEND! ZARDOZ HAD THE SAME HAPPEN:

    I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU BRUTAL AND ETERNAL

    LENT ZED AND FRIEND A WEDDING DRESS…AND HOW WAS ZARDOZ REPAID? ZED INSPIRED A REVOLT BY THE ETERNALS, DESTROYED THE TABERNACLE AND LET IN THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS TO WRECK THE VORTEX.

    NICE WORK, ZED.

    SOME FRIEND, EH? THUS, YOU SHOULD DO WHAT ZARDOZ FAILED TO DO – CLEANSE YOUR DRESS MESSING CO-WORKER AND SELL HER ORGANS TO RECOUP YOUR CLEANING BILL. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    Q: My mother-in-law owns the building my husband and I live in. I moved in with him about a year ago, before we were married. Because she owns the building, she doesn’t charge her son rent to live there but asks that he help manage the building, which takes about three hours a month. (He has a full-time job outside of managing the building.)

    When I moved in, his mom asked that I pay rent. I guess in the back of my mind I thought it would change after we got married. Do you think I’m a brat for thinking I shouldn’t have to pay rent? The amount she’s charging me is about what I would pay if we lived in another building and split the rent between us.

    I don’t know how to approach this, or if I’d be stepping out of line to request living somewhere rent-free. Please help. — RENT-FREE IN CALIFORNIA

    A: THIS IS THE TIME TO ESTABLISH DOMINANCE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. YOU MUST CONFRONT THE BRUTAL MOTHER IN LAW AND SHOW HER WHO IS BOSS, AS WELL AS ESTABLISH POWER OVER YOUR BRUTAL HUSBAND.

    HELP IS ON THE WAY.

    ZARDOZ WILL DISPATCH BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS TO PICK UP YOUR MOTHER IN LAW AND SEND HER TO TOIL IN THE GRAIN FIELDS

    RENT FREE WORK IN THE FIELDS

    THIS SHOULD SOLVE THE LANDLORD-RENT PROBLEM. NOTE – THIS ACTION SHOULD ALSO SUFFICIENTLY COW YOUR BRUTAL HUSBAND, SO THAT YOU MAY TAKE OVER AND RULE THE REAL ESTATE NOW! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    QMy “friend” from childhood, “Camille,” has never had my back. I have done the heavy lifting in our friendship our whole lives.

    While I was on vacation two years ago, she was diagnosed with cancer. I came home immediately and drove to the hospital at 1 a.m. to be by her side. I’ve always been by Camille’s side for everything, even though she hasn’t been there for me. I told her that several times, to no avail.

    I went to every chemo and doctor appointment, and was there every day to rub her feet to make her feel better. I threw her a party for 100 people to “kick cancer’s butt,” took her on a vacation — it goes on and on.

    I ended the one-sided friendship last year. My problem is, I feel guilty for doing it. I feel I left her with cancer. But I also feel that because someone is sick doesn’t give them the right to be abusive or inconsiderate. Camille hasn’t tried to contact me, either. In fact, she has told others that she will never speak to me again.

    I bent over backward for her, but if some other person sent a card, she would make a big deal out of it. I’m deeply hurt and don’t know how to move on. Help! — WOUNDED ON THE EAST COAST

    A: ZARDOZ IS LEFT SHAKING HIS STONE HEAD AT YOU, BRUTAL. YOU ARE MORE SERVILE THAN A GRAIN SLAVE OF THE VORTEX. ZARDOZ WOULD SEND THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS FOR YOU, BUT THAT WOULD BE A WASTE OF TIME AND RESOURCES. THEREFOR, YOU MUST DO THE ONLY HONORABLE THING REMAINING. GO FIND YOUR FORMER “FRIEND” ON THE PRETENSE OF WISHING TO PATCH THINGS UP. AT THIS POINT SHE SHOULD BE IN THE HOSPITAL AT SOME TIME. GO TO HER ROOM AND SMOTHER HER WITH A PILLOW. THEN YOU MUST FIND HER MEDICATIONS AND CLEANSE YOURSELF VIA OVERDOSE. THIS WAY THE WORLD IS RID OF TWO MORE WORTHLESS BRUTALS. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • You’re Doing it Wrong – #1

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    A while back there was a post where someone referenced the Digital Time that was proposed by the French Revolution. Well, arguments about our calendar are really useless.

    Or are they.

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    Your calendar: Summer (the season) begins on June 21st.

    Status: You’re doing it wrong.

    I can’t believe the resistance that I get about this topic. It seems pretty simple to me. Why is June 22nd a summer day but June 20th belongs to spring? Chasing that question down led me to some surprising results.

    If you plot the deviation of daylight hours over the year it looks like a sine wave.

    But this looks weird. The days of summer don’t start until the longest day of the year?

    And, I had always wondered about Ground Hog Day. What was its significance? Wasn’t the first day of spring always fixed at 6 weeks after GHD? Spring is delayed until March 21st? Duh!

    It turns out that the dates of the seasons are fairly arbitrary.
    In fact, I cannot find where the dates were set to the current observation1. The “usual” observance doesn’t seem to have much of a tradition behind it other than it being the system in use.

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    So, what would be a logical definition of the seasons? It seems to me that the best layout would be based upon the duration of the solar day. To me, the Summer Solstice would not be the beginning of summer but rather the midpoint.

    Well, what do you know; this has been the standard recogntion for hundreds of years!

    Suddenly the Ground Hog Day tradition makes sense. Spring starts on Feb 2 (halfway between the Solstice and the Equinox) but rodent-shadow “Spring” starts on the Equinox instead as an abberation. May Day never made sense to me (other than the Soviet orgasm) but now it was simple: It’s the first day of Summer. Hallowe’en, the first day of Winter. Autumn begins on August 1st.

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    The earth has changed orientation over time and the alignment of the seasons has changed as well. If we were to do a strict reckoning then we would use the last graph, summer starting about May 6th and the other seasons following every 91.25 days. To choose the traditional dates (May 1st, August 1st, October 31st, February 2nd) seems to me to be a reasonable compromise, bringing matters back to traditional observations while being closer to the solar midpoints.

    I’m trying to keep weather out of this discussion, but for my region, November is a winter month. I could argue spring and fall, but May is a summer month here, as well. The USWS is off of my schedule slightly as they say that summer begins on June 1st (all others follow). It seems to me to be a rather arbitrary choice based more upon weather than anything else. It is their setpoint, not mine2. But basing the reckoning of seasons upon the weather makes little sense in places like Hawai’i. My friend spent some time there and mentioned that there is no weather segment on the local news. Every day had basically the same high and low temperatures year around. If there was something else (“Typhoon On The Way”) then it was news, not weather.

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    I can’t help but to be an engineer whose job is to “fix things.” Here’s a fix for something that you never knew was broken.

    Now get off my lawn.

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    1. I haven’t looked very hard

    2. They are the “Weather Service” after all

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  • Tulip’s Favorite Cookbooks

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    Even though I rarely use recipes, I love them. They provide me with inspiration and ideas for combinations I may never have thought of on my own. I also love cookbooks, especially those that focus on techniques or a cooking philosophy. It’s not unusual to find me spending a Sunday afternoon curled up on the couch with the dog and a cookbook. Today, I’d like to recommend a few cookbooks that I turn to over and over.

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    First is “An Everlasting Meal: Cooking with Economy and Grace” by Tamar Adler. This isn’t your typical cookbook. She has modeled it after M.F.K. Fisher’sHow to Cook a Wolf” and it is thus more like a series of essays about how to eat. Each chapter is organized around a method or ingredient and her guiding philosophy shines through. I think her philosophy could be summed up as ‘Start and keep going.’ I just love her writing. It is beautiful and she really captures cooking – not just eating – as a sensual act. Take care with your cooking and plating and you will be satisfied with less because you have satisfied all your senses, not just taste.

    Sprinkled through the chapters are recipes that illustrate the methods or use the ingredients she has just discussed. Reading her descriptions, you can almost taste the dishes. Her writing is reassuring as well. Yes, you’ll make mistakes. It will be okay, there are sections devoted to explaining how to save your mistakes. If your pork chop came out dry, it can be turned into hash. I wish I’d had this book years ago, but I’m not sure I would have truly appreciated it then.

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    Growing up, vegetables were usually boiled until soggy and served as is. I hated them. Boiled vegetables can be wonderful (see Tamar Adler’s book) if treated correctly, but it took me years to get over my hatred of boiled vegetables. If you grew up like I did, then Susie Middleton’sFast, Fresh, & Green” may change your life. This book is all about how to cook vegetables so you want to eat them Each chapter is organized around a specific technique like roasting or sautéing. She gives you a base method/recipe and then several specific recipes as examples. Her Sautéed Sugar Snaps with Salami Crisps is wonderful. I sometimes make it with snow peas.

    Snow Peas and Salami
    Snow Peas and Salami Done

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    The principle behind “Ratio” by Michael Ruhlman is that you don’t need a recipe as long as you understand the appropriate ratio behind the dish. He delves into the science of cooking more than Susie Middleton or Tamar Adler. The book is organized like a typical cookbook – Doughs and Batters, Sauces, Sausages, etc and carefully explains the science behind the ratio. This is the book that inspired me to start experimenting when baking and resulted in my Holy Mole brownies.

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    Another book that investigates the science of cooking is “Cooking for Geeks: Real Science, Great Hacks, and Good Food” by Jeff Potter. I love this book because it, more than any other cookbook I’ve read, encourages you to experiment. Want to test the calibration of your oven, it explains how to use sugar to do so. Why are copper bowls good for making meringues? Potter explains. There are directions to make your own seitan, a DIY sous vide and resources for finding molecular gastronomy supplies like meat glue. I enjoyed the recipe to make brownies using orange peels as a little cup. Fun!

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    The newest addition to my library is “Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat: Mastering the Elements of Good Cooking” by Samin Nosrat. Like Adler, she is an alumnae of Chez Panisse. I find Alice Waters insufferable in interviews, but she raises good cookbook authors. This book is all about how to cook – how to use salt and fat and acid and heat to make good food. The first half of the book explains techniques, interspersed with her memories of learning to cook at home and in a restaurant. It almost feels like part memoir. The recipes start after she has explained how to cook. The book is illustrated and the illustrations remind me of Mollie Katzen’s work (excellent vegetarian cookbooks). Every recipe has variations at the end. I used her best pan fried chicken to make pork schnitzel.

    Breaded Pork Schnitzel
    Quick Frying Pork Schnitzel

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    Here are three other books that serve as useful references: “Cookwise: The Secrets of Cooking Revealed” and “Bakewise: The Hows and Whys of Successful Baking” both by Shirley O. Corriher, and, of course, “The Joy of Cooking” by Irma S. Rombauer and Marion Rombauer Becker.

    If you watched Alton Brown’sGood Eats”, then Shirley O. Corriher is likely familiar to you. She used to show up and lecture Alton about food science. Unfortunately, her cookbooks read like textbooks and she is giving a lecture. They delve deeply into the science of cooking. If you want to understand how to make a tender pie crust instead of a flaky one, she makes it clear. Each recipe explicitly lists what it is intended to illustrates. They are truly useful references, but not something you want to curl up with on the couch on a rainy day.

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    “The Joy of Cooking” is an all purpose cookbook. Each chapter and section starts by telling you ‘about’ the method or ingredient. For example ‘About Pancakes’ gives tips for success and is followed by a lot (I mean a lot) of recipes. If you need to know how long and what temperature to use for that four pound roast, “The Joy of Cooking” has got you covered. It is also useful for learning the tips of success (how do I make a good dumpling) and finding a basic recipe that can serve as a base for experimentation, but I rarely make any of the actual recipes here. I just learn what goes into a typical pancake or dumpling or beef stew and go from there.

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    There are a lot of wonderful cookbooks out there. I hope I’ve introduced you to a few that will help you enjoy cooking as much as I do.

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  • I Fucking Love Astrology: The Horoscope for the Week of August 5

    I am made of busy.  Fortunately the single busiest day is past, though there will be a significant local maximum next week.  Hopefully the week after that work should return to normal levels.  Of course, I’m moving at the beginning of September, so that activity is picking up.  My visual media collection fits in four 12″ x 14″ x 18″ boxes.  My cookbooks fit in two.

    I have been so busy that I haven’t been able to Glib properly.  I will say that after reading ‘s excellent fiction piece that this site is just some Gilmore couture reviews away from being Hefner-era Playboy.

    MERCURY RETROGRADE

    It is very strange to have an alignment that lasts for a week, especially those involving inner planets.  But this week we still have that good-but-awkward-lovin’ arrangement of Venus-Jupiter-Mercury (retrograde).  It’s not in the same orientation, what with orbital resonances and all, but is still exists.  Someone up there wants you to have good stories to tell.  Please do tell in the comments.  I’m sure there are lonely people reading that would appreciate it.

    There is another, more disturbing alignment this week:  Sol-Mercury (retrograde)-Terra-Mars (retrograde) with the Moon in opposition.  Bad weather, destruction, extreme tides, loss, ill tidings, floods, wild animal attacks, drownings, fires.  Other than that, things should be fairly routine.

    The special effects were too loud.
    Other than that, how did you like the play, Mrs. Lincoln?

    With all this retrogradin’ going around, the zodiacal influences are stagnating.  Capricorn and Aquarius are going to be with us for a loooong time.  That’s not going to be too terrible actually, though we will be coming uncomfortably close to the very bad retrograde house crossing.  Close, but it won’t be happening.  So we got that going for us.

    Other things we have going for us?  Stars-aligning-for-destruction music.

  • I Fucking Love Astrology: The Horoscope for the Week of July 29

    I have a technician who is just a rock:  solid, dependable, inflexible, brittle, and completely incapable of learning new things.  So here I am in my third hour of unpaid overtime today (yay exempt status!) while Rocky goes off on their third break having failed to learn the procedure they were supposedly practicing for the last five weeks and I have been endeavoring to teach since 3:30.  In their defense, I am a terrible teacher.  Perhaps some stargazing will calm me down.

    Well well well… that’s interesting.  We have Mercury(retrograde) aligned with Venus and Jupiter.  An extremely auspicious alignment, particularly with Jupiter being in Scorpio and Venus in Virgo.  If Mercury were station direct and had the Sun been in the mix, I’d tell you to expect a surprise invitation to the joint afterparty held by the various modeling agencies and AVN.  In this case, while we still have Peace, Love, and Joy (with special emphasis on the breasts and genitals (I swear I am not making this up, go check out the body:constellation correlation charts available at literally every “spiritual” bookstore anywhere)) we have Mercury being station retrograde (chaos, bad news) in Leo (heart).  Again, if Mercury were direct with these planets in these constellations, this would be the absolute perfect day to begin a honeymoon.  But Mercury is retrograde, in Leo.  This doesn’t negate the rest of the construction, but does indicate some negative consequences or unforeseen complications.  For example, you could have a red-hot quickie with the hottie from a few cubicles over… and get busted by HR.  Or you could be giving your partner the best banging they’ve ever had, and slip a disc.  Actually, that latter scenario is more likely, since there aren’t any signs re: financial loss.  Even more likely, based on the alternative interpretation of Leo as referring to the mane/hair, you will be having a fantastic bit of whoopie, and someone’s wig will come dislodged at an inopportune time.  These things happen.

    AAAAHHHH!  MERCURY RETROGRADE! PANIC IN THE STREETS!

    So yes, we are back in the infamous time of MERCURY RETROGRADE.  I don’t think I’ve explicitly mentioned the station direct/station retrograde dichotomy, so for those of you who weren’t taught the quadrivium, here’s what that all means.  The heavens are perfect, the earth is flawed.  It has been ever thus since the morning star fell.  A sign of being perfect is to be unchanging — can’t get any better than perfect, after all.  But there is a bit of a gradient; a bird doesn’t become an angel just because it can fly.  The moon is obviously imperfect since it changes all the time, it must therefore be closer to the Earth than to the heavens.  The sphere of fixed stars is perfect since they never change.  The planets change less than the moon, but they aren’t completely heavenly either.  The planets wander through the heavens most of the time in a particular direction (corresponding to the overall celestial motion) when they are doing that, they are acting as they are supposed to.  This is direct motion.  Every now and then, the planets cease moving and begin moving backwards.  This is retrograde motion.  When the planets are moving retrograde, they are acting contrary to the celestial design which means that their reversed and/or malign properties become dominant.  This also means that they backtrack through the zodiac, spending more time in a given constellation than they would have had they just spent more time in Sunday school.  Even more so as when they go back to direct motion they pass through a certain constellatory space for a third time.

    This leads to situations like the one we are currently in:  Mercury (the messenger, news, tidings, change, rumor) has been in Leo (royalty, government) so we’ve been in a period of increased political news.  But instead of passing on through and heading into the next constellation it’s going to reverse, go back, and basically fuck around keeping the news monotonous.

    Speaking of Leo, that’s where the sun is.  Leo is the lion, lions are in Africa, and Africa is hot, so it’s no surprise that for the next few weeks the weather will be warmer than the rest of the year.  I won’t say that astrology is part of the IPCC forecasting process, but I won’t say it isn’t either.

    Left to right:  Krypton, Bill Nye, Neil DeGrasse Tyson
    IPCC Scientists (not pictured)

    Scorpio, Capricorn, Aquarius — Same Stars, Different Day.  If you want to break out of a rut, the heavens aren’t going to help.  Life should be chill for Virgos.  Fishing will be sub-par again.

    Leo music: