Glibertarians.com 2018 Archive

Author: Web Dominatrix

  • Morning Links: For The Love of Fruit Edition

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    Eat your fruit, kids.

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    Today’s birthdays include:

    • George III, King of Great Britain, 1738
    • Christopher Cockerell, inventor of the hovorcraft, 1910
    • Angelina Jolie, 1975

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    Notable deaths:

    • Giacomo Casanova, “librarian and womanizer,” 1798
    • Ferdinand I, King of Sicily/Naples, 1825
    • Donald Eligon, cricketer, dies of blood poisoning from a nail in his boot, 1937

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    Notable events:

    • It’s claimed Roquefort cheese created in a cave near Roquefort, France, today in 1070. Not sure if this is true, but it sounds good, and yay cheese.
    • June 4th seems to be a good day for ballooning. In 1783 Joseph and Jacques Montgolfier make 1st public hot-air balloon flight (unmanned), with an estimated altitude of 1,600-2,000m. One year later in 1784 Madame Elizabeth Thible becomes the first female balloonist.

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    And links for your amusement..

    Volcano erupts in Guatemala

    The history of the pineapple

    Fajita thief sentenced to 50 years in jail

    More than you might care to know about apricots

    Human blood is worth more than silver

    Durian in space, which is exactly where some might say it belongs

    Apparently cheese chasing is a thing

    As is tight rope racing in high heels

    How to grow thornless blackberry plants

    Two bobcat kittens die after woman mistook them for domesticated cats

    Durian definitely doesn’t belong on a pizza

    Intermitent fasting is good for more than just your waistline

    A WWI soldier’s chocolate stash has been discovered

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  • Friday Morning Links – Tumbledown Dick edition

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    Hey hey, Glibs.

    A belligerent client ruined my day yesterday, and really bummed me out. But, you know what cheered me?

    Glibs! (Seriously.)

    I know it sounds crazy…but I loved reading the comments on yesterday’s links post, so here I am…back for more links!

    First, history! (Or be lame and jump straight to links)

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    Today’s birthdays include:

    • Ralph Waldo Emerson was born today in 1803.
    • Igor Sikorsky came into the world today in 1889.
    • And today is Ian McKellen’s 79th birthday.

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    Notable deaths:

    • Anders Dahl, Swedish botanist, died today in 1789.
    • King Henry II of Navarre died today in 1555.
    • In 1919 Madam C. J. Walker, the first American Female Self Made Millionaire, passed away from kidney failure.
    • English astronomer Sir Frank Watson Dyson died today in 1935.

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    Notable events:

    • Today in 1659 Richard Cromwell was dubbed “Tumbledown Dick” when he resigned as Lord Protector of England.
    • In 1787 the Constitutional convention opened with George Washington presiding.
    • In 1844 the first telegraphed news dispatch was published in the Baltimore Patriot.
    • And Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope was released today in 1977.

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    Lots of good links for you this morning!

    Three cheers for armed citizens.

    Just one example of why I refuse to have an Amazon Alexa device in my house.

    A nurse is suing US Customs who failed to return her seized funds after she refused to sign a “hold harmless agreement” over the seizure in the first place.

    Harvey Milk vodka anyone? (Sounds more disgusting than it is.)

    Facebook and Zuck are accused of “weaponizing” user data.

    Nessie can’t keep hiding. A scientist is hoping to prove her existence with DNA testing. The scientist doesn’t believe in Nessie, but wants to get money, media, and maybe a book deal “take people on an adventure.”

    White women need to listen up and stop calling the police on black people.

    A stormchaser wants his ashes thrown into a tornado and said in his obituary, “That’ll be fun!!!”

    The bumper of a car driving down I-5 gets impaled by a handgun. Also on I-5: Feathers. Everywhere.

    Have a lovely weekend, dear Glibs.

    I leave you with a cocktail.

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  • Thursday Morning Links – Mary Had a Little Lamb Edition

    Today marks an important day. It is the first day that I, WebDominatrix, am serving up your morning links.

    You’re welcome.

    But before links, a history lesson.

    May 24th is a good day to be born. Today’s birthdays include:

    • Julius Caesar, that old pole cat, that old so-and-so, was born today in 15 BC.
    • Queen Victoria was born May 24th 1819, which means she was a Gemini. (Explains a lot.)
    • And May 24th 1794 gave us William Whewell, English polymath and philosopher, who was really good at naming shit.

    May 24th is also a good day to die. If you kick off today you’ll be in the company of:

    • David I, King of Scots. He bit the dust today in 1153.
    • Nicolas Copernicus shuffled off his mortal coil in 1543.
    • And abolitionist William Lloyd Garrison kicked the bucket today in 1879.

    May 24th appears to be a good day to travel.

    • In 1218 the Fifth Crusade left Acre and headed off to Egypt.
    • In 1660 King Charles II visited the Netherlands.
    • In 1697 King William III traveled through Northern Europe.

    But perhaps my favourite notable event of May 24th is the publication of Mary Had a Little Lamb in 1830.

    Next, Links!

    North Korea called Pence a “political dummy” and threatened nuclear showdown.

    A pedophile put “copyright” on homemade child porn. (Link courtesy of OMWC)

    A child who attended a swinger’s party is not a child after all, and just a really short woman. (Sorry to disappoint, OMWC)

    Currently trending on Google: Cavs vs. Celtics, which might matter to someone somewhere…?

    A Totoro-themed restaurant is opening up in Thailand. I think a roadtrip is in order.

    The sinkhole in front of the White House got me curious about just WTF causes them, anyway? Turns out it’s no big mystery.

    A couple Florida stories caught my eye: a zombie alert, and a nipple controversy. But, alas, not zombie nipple controversy.

    GDPR is upon us and goes into effect tomorrow, May 25th. For those of us who have subscribers in the EU they either have to reconfirm their interest in receiving email or we have to delete them today because as of tomorrow even deleting their email counts as processing their data. (Give me a fucking break.)

  • For the Glib who needs emotional support

    I’m not big on flying.

    The whole experience is just bothersome. I hate being on a plane. I hate that there are other passengers. I especially hate when families with children fly.

    No matter where I sit on the plane I’m always stuck next to the family with a toddler who is running up and down the aisles, a screaming baby, and a crackhead teenager who hasn’t showered since he hit puberty.

    Emotional support animals were also on my list of things I hate about flying, but that is about to change.

    American Airlines has new guidelines for emotional support animals. They now ban many animals, including chickens, ferrets, and anything with hooves (excluding miniature horses that are properly trained as service animals).

    But these guidelines say fuck all about honey badgers.

    I want to board a plane with my emotional support honey badger while I am rocking this t-shirt, and I will just sit there quietly as my honey badger savages any and every passenger and emotional support peacock that’s pissing me off.

    (I’ve had a frustrating week, can you tell?)

    In other news, I am having daydreams of a glib meetup where we are all rocking this shirt. Glibs Take Chicago, and we all flood out of Union Station wearing the honey badger shirt.

  • Help me settle a very important debate

    What are these called?

    1. Cheezies
    2. Cheese Puffs
    3. Cheese Poofs
    4. Cheesie Poofs
    5. Cheese Curls
    6. Cheese Doodles
    7. Something else

  • The Hutzler 571… a must for every kitchen.

    Ok, I love Amazon.

    Like…

    Love Love Amazon.

    And Amazon never ceases to amaze me with their wide array of products. If Amazon doesn’t have it, odds are good you don’t actually need it.

    Today’s product is no exception. I stumbled across the Hutzler 571, and I was blown away by the reviews where people said things like:

    Our marriage has never been healthier, AND we’ve even incorporated it into our lovemaking.

    And…

    It finally came!!! I am now, officially, the coolest neighbor on my block!!!

    And…

    When I first saw this product I was like, how lazy can you be? Apparently pretty lazy because I bought one and have never regretted it. LOL

    If you’ve ever wondered what it takes to make a kitchen complete…what one tool you’re missing…search no longer.

    This is apparently the device that makes a kitchen complete.

    I present to you… The Hutzler 571.

    According to Amazon: The easy-to-use Hutzler Banana Slicer provides a quick solution to slice a banana uniformly each and every time. Simply press the slicer on a peeled banana and the work is done. Safe, fun and easy for children to use.

    Kids just love eating bananas with this as their favorite kitchen tool. The Banana Slicer may also be used as a quick way to add healthy bananas to breakfast cereal or to make uniform slices for a fruit salad or ice cream dessert.

    Features:

    • Easy to use
    • Slices bananas uniformly, each and every time
    • Press the slicer on a peeled banana and the work is done
    • Safe and fun for kids
    • Dishwasher safe
    • BPA free
    • Banana slicing has never been easier or more fun!

    While it seems like the Hutzler 571 meets every need you could possibly have, it wouldn’t be right of me to not tell you about some of its shortcomings.

    First, it appears this device makes bananas stop talking, as one customer reported.

    Paul empathises, “I had a similar issue with my potatoes when I got my mandolin slicer. To be honest, I kind of relish the silence now. The Yukon Golds were always bullying the russets around. Napoleon complex if you ask me.”

    But, Leila believes that’s a perk: “It is better this way, believe me. When bananas talk, they get all these ideas in their stems about equality and fair treatment. Next thing you know, they’re getting the pears involved and from there it’s only a few days until open rebellion. Keep them silent, everyone knows bananas are a bunch of commies.”

    If you can put up with your bananas suddenly going silent and the lack of wifi on this device, then the Hutzler 571 is the device that will make your kitchen complete.

  • In case you’ve ever wanted to rest your head on salmon

    Now you can!

    For the cost of a venti soy latte and a croissant you can have the salmon pillow you’ve always dreamed of. Thanks, Amazon!

    Yummy...?

    You know you need this.

    Don’t forget to add the “large shrimp neck pillow” to your shopping cart to complete your collection. At the time of this writing the shrimp pillow has a coupon for 10% off.

    If you had any questions about its quality, let your mind be put to rest. It’s been awarded Amazon’s Choice for “shrimp pillow“, which is a larger category than you might think.

    Who could resist?

     

  • This week’s lesson in Vegan School…

    This week in Vegan School I learned…

    Figs + Olive Oil + Post Sunset = Vitamin D

     

  • You know you need a Tiddy Bear

    When I saw this on an 8 Out of 10 Cats rerun tonight, I just assumed (like any good mocker and scoffer would) this was a parody.

    It’s not.

    According to CNET in 2008:

    The Tiddy Bear Comfort Strap was invented by two women, one of whom is a breast cancer survivor who experienced uncomfortable pressure from her seat belt.

    This product is not to be confused with the Titty Bear, Chest Wrinkle Preventer, though that sounds like a must-have product, too.

  • This week in vegan school…

    I have learned a lot of uh…interesting… things since going vegan, and being the generous and sharing person I am, I’ve decided to start sharing the things I’ve learned here, with my lovely community of Glibs with a new screenshot every week.

     

    I can't make this shit up.