No screaming, no ambulances…is it possible I beat STEVE SMITH here?
#$%& that was not fun. The TSA being the TSA, the long flight…I knew I should have skipped United and taken the Koninklijke Luchtvaart Maatschappij N.V. And now into one of the busier airports in the world. Despite the crowds, I had to keep a wary glance out for STEVE SMITH. Hard to hide a giant RAPESQUATCH anywhere, but in a European airport…who knew.
No STEVE SMITH here…
Nothing…
Screw it, I am heading into Amsterdam. If STEVE SMITH could hide in a city, it certainly would be that one. The freakshow that is part of that city wouldn’t even blink at him. If any of my soil scratching, Calvinist relatives wandered in, they would simply assume his status as one of the DAMNED and leave off.
Now, where to look… I don’t think the Dutch accept twigs, berries and leaves as currency, so that would mean no Hotel. Wait, a park! That gives me an idea…
TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR “THE STEVE SMITH SANCTION – Vondelpark or Tante Zaan’s?”
Uh oh… you don’t get a direct call from SP when things are going well. It was a bit hard to hear her, with the Cartoon Network on at a high volume in the background, but she told me to come to the command center right away. In person.
We all filed in the conference room and took our seats.
Last Glibs Meet Up?
It was announced that we had a STEVE SMITH problem. Funny…I thought mexican sharpshooter had his tiny ass dog back, and STEVE SMITH was on the way to rape reindeer or roger Santa or somesuch. It was much worse than that…
We had credible intelligence that STEVE SMITH was really headed to the Netherlands…to the ICC. He was going to turn himself in for RAPECRIMES against Humanity. Worst of all, he was going to roll over on us. We had put him up to it, for site content! None of us wanted to go sit in Slobodan Milošević’s old cell and die waiting for trial in the Hague. So what were we to do?
mex begged off, having just had a scrap with the RAPESQUATCH. Understandable. SugarFree was willing, but he was a bit tied up with an odd situation at work. Something about a valuable member of the team had gone missing, and he was on the trail to find him. I looked over at Warty, but he demurred. He was too busy building a Brazilian Ju-Jitsu robot, to act as a sparing partner. The last guy he sparred screamed like a damned soul when Warty dislocated both his shoulders…and a kneecap…and an ankle. Oddly enough, nobody in the gym wanted to practice with him after that.
OMWC told us no way in Hell he was going to risk CPS kicking the door in while he was gone and end up with a warrant for a “Home Alone” case. SP couldn’t leave, as the site would crumble. Plus she was usually engaged in some sort of mortal combat with WordPress or Comcast or someone like that. BrettL and sloopy had links duty, and small kids. Riven was stuck in an endless meeting loop at work…kind of a beginning of Superman type prison thing. Sounded awful.
“Let us out of this meeting!”
HM volunteered, rather Heroically, I thought. But he had to stay and do some linguistics work for us. We have hopes for a rather profitable return on a Anime-Twerk-Thicc-English interpretation app. So he was told to stay and work on it. Anyway, if that CUMMIEBOT ever returns, we need HM to deal with it. Guess who that left… Me. Obviously ZARDOZ could not go undercover. Besides, he was too sympathetic to STEVE SMITH after the RAPESQUATCH helped him dry out last year. SEA SMITH…yeah, family loyalty.
Fine. OK. Guess I am it. This should take a week or more to do some recon, and lay in wait for THE STEVE SMITH SANCTION.
Did someone say “Sanction”?
I will do my best to send reports. I have to go pack now.
P.S. I want to be back in time for the wailing and gnashing of teeth this will bring.
If naught else, these Links will exhibit the exquisite Swiss timing. Glibertarians.com promises nothing else. I am getting run over with demands for my time and incessant carping requests for MOAR WORK. Don’t these people know I have links to post?! It is making me downright crabby. So you in the Glibertariat, show them who is boss! Read the links, comment with abandon and stick it to the Man!
I need to see weepy sermons, comparisons to certain Mid-20th Century German leaders, condemnations and harassment of anyone associated with the Algerian government. THIS is being harsh on “migrants”. How about some Hollywood types, breast beating journos and screeching politicians go “tour” Assamaka. Then come back and tell us how horrible and NAZI the US is. FEH!
If you can wade through the garbage in this article….you will see near the end of it that TRADE WARZ ain’t going to be solved by an EU – China lovefest. It will just suck for all of us around the globe. BAH!
Farm Aid?! That #$%& thing is still going on? Want to see how much in YOUR money the poor, downtrodden farmers are getting? Look here and get really pissed off. I saw 101 recipients of MY MONEY just in my little exurban zip code alone (from 1995-2016). Some of the names were big shots and not exactly poors. GRRRRRR!!!!!!!
I am sure many could find reasons to be angry here…but I am just pointing and laughing instead.
So…Last time, we suffered through the Bum Beer Challenge – seen here and here (Personally, I think mexican sharpshooter got the worst of it…even if his writing was much better than mine). This time the challenge was in the opposite direction. We wanted to find something so fancy that even a libertarian would sprain their pinky, holding it out as they sampled it. Their monocle would fog up and their top hat would deflate, it would be that highbrow.
This did get me to wondering about the pinky out thing…is that really fancy, or just some made up bit that managed to worm its way into common belief?
People often think proper tea drinking means sticking your pinky out. That’s actually rude and connotes elitism. It comes from the fact that cultured people would eat their tea goodies with three fingers and commoners would hold the treats with all five fingers. Thus was born the misguided belief that one should raise their pinky finger to show they were cultured. Tuck that pinky finger in.
“That’s actually rude and connotes elitism” AWW YEAH! PERFECT! We are spot on here.
So, anyhoo, here is my entry into the Snob-off o’ beer.
3 Sheeps Brewing Company hails from the noted center of culture that is Sheboygan, Wisconsin. But don’t let that fool you…they make classy beer. The best. Bigly good beer. I chose their fanciest:
Awwww, yeah!
SMALL BATCH: CUVEE BLEND
We make a lot of beer. Some of it experimental, some of it pushes the boundaries of brewing, some of it puts unique twists on traditional styles — but it’s all a part of who we are. Once a year we step back, take a look at the work we’ve done, and create a special beer that draws from the best of the past 12 months. We call it Cuvee Blend. It’s a nod to the French winemaking tradition, a blend of aged beers from specially selected barrels, each chosen for their unique wood characteristics and blended in endless combinations until our palates are happy. Once we’re sure it’s perfect, the blend goes into another barrel to undergo secondary fermentation. The process is time consuming and meticulous, but we end up with something really special, something that’s more than just the sum of its parts.
Yeah, sounds fancy to me. So what is the blend for 2018?
19% imp stout aged in 2nd use rye whiskey barrels. 50% imp stout with toasted coconut aged in 2nd use bourbon barrels. 25% imp black wheat with coffee aged in 2nd use bourbon barrels. 6% belgian-style quad aged in 2nd use bourbon barrels.
Mine own impression was that each aspect of it came forth, caressed your taste buds and bowed out for the next. The bourbon hovered in the background shepherding all this along. The coconut was quite subtle, the coffee not overpowering – it simply introduced itself, gave you a bit flavor and yielded to the rye. The rye was courtly in manner, taking your taste buds, bowing over them and stepping back to let the hint of Belgian quad finish off with a whisper.
In lay terms…Jeebus, this was a fookin’ great beer. All sorts of good flavors, packs a good ABV too. Would swill again!
But in all seriousness, it was one of the best beers I have had in my 52 years on this Earth.
5 out of 5 pinkies out.
Next up, Part 2, wherein mexican sharpshooter gets his fancy on.
Since I can’t get any Cryptid support this weekend, and I am not trying call ZARDOZ on his CB any more today, you get my links again. I guess the folks in the home office won’t be very happy when they have to come to work on Monday morning. Too tired from celebrating the ultimate neutral result.
A draw. How…exciting.
I feel for them. I got food poisoning Saturday evening… but managed to go see my Dad today, have a couple of Swedish pancakes and drive home…whee.
Sheesh, OK Conan. Here are your links:
You know what other extremist group threatened to bring down a Czech government?
I am not sure what the SMITHS are up to…but I am sure it is no good. ZARDOZ might be off on a long grain hauling mission…or whatever the ZARDOZIAN equivalent to sitting around and recovering from a long week is. So, you get my links tonight. I’ll try to keep them short and to the point.
What has happened to Canadian politeness? Good to see noble and gallant PM Zoolander/TWINK IN THE NORTH hurrying to stand up for her. Feh. Oh and TW: Bloomberg, so most of the article is how this is all Trump’s fault.
More sterling personnel management from a Cook County governmental agency. When the Swiss are finally done with me, I am so leaving this state.
Hey, when you go bankrupt, you do whatever you can to raise cash.
Dang…looks like drugs have infiltrated another sport.
OK, there it is for ya. I guess ZARDOZ would tell you to go forth and kill comment. STEVE SMITH would throw a big rock at your head, or tell you to have a nice night, maybe?
74 years ago, 160,000 men got off various ships or planes and went ashore in the Normandy region of France. Enemies were waiting for them, and that meant more than 9,000 of them would be dead by the end of the day. To this day, combat experience aside, I cannot imagine what that would have been like. So as I grumbled about getting up this morning, it struck me… what would it have been like to get up that morning, and know what was coming. So I got into my comfortable auto, drove to my climate controlled office building and had a cup of good coffee and shut my gob.
In honor of that massive effort and undertaking…you get Links early.
Your church have anything special about it? This one does. Bonus points for having the patron saint of paratroopers.
This might make OMWC shudder a little (Australian Shiraz!!!!) but we ain’t the only ones in TRADE WARZ with China. Another example of the need for actual free trade – not having commerce turn into a lever for the CCP to bend another country to their will. Of course, this also is a good risk management teaching point for anyone who depends too much on a single market for their growth. Ride the Dragon to profits, and it may turn around and bite you.
Sorry Cleveland, it appears your annual Biblical Plague hath returned. Maybe they could set a river on fire to repel them?
Only the classiest, most wantedcan work on the White House! Yuge charges. The best.
We will end with someone ending their military career in … an entertaining fashion. Not the way I chose to leave, but you have to give him credit for originality.
Your Links are courtesy of me, this afternoon. That means all will be in order; there will be exactly 5 links over four bullet points, there will be a featured image, and no sidebar on the post. In the comments – witty banter, inside jokes and possibly a reference to monocles, orphans or roadz.
Road
So. In order to avoid a post longer than a new regulation from the Eidgenössische Finanzmarkt Aussicht, I present your links;
If you listen carefully, I think you can still hear Erdogan’s laughter. “Oh yes, I will be ever so respectful…” *orders new attack on Kurds*
Things are NOT orderly around here. Unacceptable! Someone get on this, soon.
Think things are goofy in the US legal system? How about in Merry Olde England?
*Sighs, takes long drag off a Gauloise* I suppose you will all be wanting links this morning. Or not. Does it really matter? *Taps ash, sips espresso* Oh, very well…not like I had anything meaningful to do otherwise.
SPORTS
If I could muster up the energy, I would be suspicious of the use of the short term DL by the Dodgers and the Cubs. But it is the National League…so who cares? In the sort of important league, allegedly a no hitter was thrown…but it was only against a Canadian team, so I am not sure it counts. More NBA was supposedly played, with some more to come. I am doubtful of this, but you may wish to pretend. I would say the same for hockey, but even thinking of it sends me to new lows. Which will probably happen to fans in a certain imperial capital city soon enough.
BIRTHDAYS
So we “celebrate” the beginning of the inevitable slide toward death of the following: John Brown (1800 – Harper’s Ferry anyone?) Henry Kaiser (1882 – adjust your monocles) Mike Wallace (1918 – TV liverspot) Candice Bergen (1946) Billy Joel (1949) Tony Gwynn (1960) and some younger acting types I care nothing to learn about…Rosario Dawson (1979) Chris Zylka (1985)
Michael Caine says “Hi Candice”
LINKS
Robert Conquest…his Second Law in action. [h/t OMWC who was suspiciously aware of the story, right away] This should help speed the demise of “Scouts BSA” – I wonder what the LDS equivalent will be? Or I would care if I were not so bored and world weary.
Indonesia – land of the peaceful and tolerant Islam? If I could muster up the energy to be dismayed, this would do it. Indonesia has much potential. To see it wasted on pointless strife with Islamists would darken an already bleak mood.
Maybe they just need John Kerry to address the Iranian Parliament, he could calm things down. His face is even longer than mine at this point. I am too weary to imagine what the world would think if the US Congress chanted “Death to Iran” and burned an Iranian flag while they were in session. Maybe C-Span would get more viewers? Not that it matters anyway.
Chicago Public Schools – they would make STEVE SMITH gag. Remember, your silly choice and charter schools and home schooling are somehow to blame. Oh, and CPS teachers deserve moar munny.
