Author: SugarFree

Don’t worry, Donald! Chris Cillizza’s got your back!

The 11 most eye-opening lines in James Comey’s ‘A Higher Loyalty,’ ranked

10. “I stared at the soft white pouches under his expressionless blue eyes. I remember thinking in that moment that the president doesn’t understand the FBI’s role in American life.”

Again, the fact that Trump has “soft white pouches” under his “expressionless blue eyes” feels more like an unnecessary jab than an essential insight. BUT, Comey’s next sentence is important — because he’s right. Trump has demonstrated time and time again that he simply doesn’t understand — or doesn’t care about — the unique role the Justice Department plays within the federal government. Yes, they work under him. But they don’t exactly work for him. He’s never seemed to get that.

…

7. “He brought up what he called the ‘golden showers thing’ . . . adding that it bothered him if there was ‘even a 1 percent chance’ his wife, Melania, thought it was true….In what kind of marriage, to what kind of man, does a spouse conclude there is only a 99 percent chance her husband didn’t do that?”

Don’t be too quick to dismiss this as simply salacious. Yes, there is that. But it is absolutely telling about the state of Trump’s marriage that he was asking the FBI director to prove the falsehood of the “pee tape” to his wife — almost certainly because she wouldn’t believe him.

Then there’s the fact that Trump seems to believe that proving the tape doesn’t exist to Melania Trump is a worthy use of the FBI’s time. Which is, um, something.

…

2. “The silent circle of assent. The boss in complete control. The loyalty oaths. The us-versus-them worldview. The lying about all things, large and small, in service to some code of loyalty that put the organization above morality and above the truth.”

In this excerpt, Comey is comparing Trump to a mob boss. Which is a tough comparison to make when you are dealing with the President of the United States. But, Comey is right in the main when it comes to how Trump sees himself and how he leads his team. Trump must always be the strongest and toughest one in any room. He expects total loyalty from those who work for him — and works to rid his inner circle of those he believes have shown even a speck of disloyalty to him. He doesn’t tell the truth about things that are easily and provably false — largest inauguration crowd ever, millions of illegal votes cast — and then dares those around him to question him.

I don’t know any mob bosses personally but there’s not [sic] question that Comey nails Trump here.

Hmm…

I don’t know any mob bosses personally but there’s not [sic] question that Comey nails Trump here.

I can’t even. It’s almost too sad to rip on.

Top plastic surgeon ‘killed lover by sprinkling cocaine on his PENIS before she performed sex act on him’

A top plastic surgeon has been accused of killing a lover with cocaine after sprinkling it on his PENIS before she performed a sex act on him.

Andreas Niderbichler, 42, has been arrested after a woman, 38, reportedly collapsed and died after performing oral sex on him at his home in hospital grounds.

Police are now probing claims he gave three more women the drug – who reportedly suffered no side serious effects – during sexual encounters.

Police believe he sprinkled the drug on his penis beforehand, local media report.

As a plastic and reconstructive surgery expert he practiced nationwide and detectives say there may be many more victims.

I have never put cocaine on my penis. Rumors to that effect are just that, rumors.

Don’t dress sexy’ advice triggers an echo of #MeToo in Thailand

A government official’s suggestion that women should dress conservatively to avoid sexual harassment during the nation’s new year festival has sparked a rebuttal under the hashtag #DontTellMeHowToDress.

Crowded water-gun battles that leave revellers soaked are a distinctive feature of the Songkran celebrations from Friday through Sunday, prompting the official to warn women against wearing revealing outfits. At least one survey indicates harassment is pervasive during the festival.

Cindy Bishop, a Bangkok-based Thai-American model, actress and television celebrity, said she created #DontTellMeHowToDress to put the onus back on how men behave instead of the way women dress. Her video on the topic has been viewed almost 500,000 times on Facebook and Instagram, and the hashtag has created more buzz in Thailand than #MeToo.

“Maybe the reason this is taking off faster is because they’re not coming out and accusing anyone,” Ms Bishop said. “Our society is quite conservative, and for someone to come out and point a finger at someone who’s assaulted her is huge, I don’t know if we’re ready for it yet.”

Rumors to the effect that I put cocaine on what I hope wasn’t this woman’s penis are just that, rumors.

Banquet Salisbury steaks recalled for bone contamination

Conagra Brands has issued a recall for Banquet Salisbury steaks that may be contaminated by foreign material.

According to the USDA, about 135,159 pounds of Salisbury steak products may contain “extraneous materials, specifically bone.”

Bone contamination. Sounds like a very awkward sexual innuendo a biologist came up with.

“So, did you get lucky with that girl at the bar last night?”

“Oh, yeah. She came down with a severe case of bone contamination.”

Slate culls some choice cuts from the Banquet user review site for us:

“The amount of bones in every piece we considered disgusting.”

“We were sadly disappointed that the Salisbury steaks were not edible because of the bones.”

“Me and my wife couldn’t make it through a single steak because of the amount of bones.”

The Hate Birds That Hate are just lonely and lashing out:

Lonely goose runs a fowl, causing chaos in DeBary neighborhood

For weeks, some neighbors said the goose has been nothing but trouble, chasing people and damaging property. Leah Jones Digges took cellphone video of the goose that she said ripped apart her neighbor’s window screens.”He’s also broken several windows,” Digges said. “You can’t even sit out in your yard in peace anymore because of this guy.”

Resident Jennifer Gesule said the goose will also go after neighborhood kids.

“He usually follows the kids home from the bus stop or he tries to attack everyone who is at the bus stop,” she said.

However, residents said the goose wasn’t always so fowl.

“He had a friend and then the friend passed,” Gesule said. “I don’t know what happened with the friend, but his friend died and that’s when the goose went a little bit crazy.”

Of course they are going to act this way with the so-called Mainstream Media giving them cover.

Sometimes a picture does say a thousand words… classy words…

Caption Contest, of course. Winner gets his home address posted on Woodser, the dating site for lonely Bigfeet.

And you can read the story, too, I guess, you know, if you want.

Louisiana law to ban sex with animals wins Senate vote 25 – 10

The state Senate has approved a bill designed to make it clear that bestiality is illegal in Louisiana.

A law on the books prohibits “crimes against nature,” but it also outlaws so-called sodomy and was ruled unconstitutional in 2003.

New Orleans Senator JP Morrell says it’s important that the state has a way to arrest someone for having sex with animals.

He told fellow lawmakers, “God forbid you vote against this bill, good luck explaining it.”

Ten senators did vote against it.

The measure does also specify that previously illegal forms of “sodomy” are no longer against the law.

“Anal sexual intercourse between two human beings shall not be deemed as a crime,” part of the bill states.

The measure now heads to the House of Representatives.

Those 10 brave pervert hold-outs?

John A. Alario, Jr. (R)
Bret Allain (R)
Dan Claitor (R)
Jack Donahue (R)
James R. Fannin (R)
Ryan Gatti (R)
Gerald Long (R)
Beth Mizell (R)
Jonathan Perry (R)
Neil Riser (R)

One party is clearly dedicated to protecting your rights to have sex with animals and the other wants to strip you of these freedoms. Vote accordingly this November.

Also, it’s now a butt-loving paradise in The Pelican State, y’all! I have a great idea for a Lousiana license plate:

Anal Sex: It’s Not Just For Alabamans Anymore

And some music to help you wash that down…

Police use dead man’s fingers to try to unlock his iPhone

The dead have no privacy rights.

Corpses can’t assert privacy rights in courts. But they can unlock their iPhones with fingerprint authentication, and that comes in mighty handy when police need to investigate who killed them or who convinced them to go on a stabbing spree with a butcher’s knife.

Forbes has published a report of what it says is the first known case of police using a dead man’s fingerprints in their efforts to get past the protection of Apple’s Touch ID authentication technology.

Note that a previous case from July 2016 involved police making a cast from a dead man’s prints, but not from his actual fingers. They asked for 3D prints to be made from fingerprints they already had on file from having previously booked him.

The landmark case involving actual dead fingers is that of Abdul Razak Ali Artan, an 18-year-old Somali immigrant who plowed his car into a group of people on the Ohio State University campus, attacked victims with a butcher’s knife, and was shot dead by police in November 2016.

No one–living or dead–has privacy rights to their phones anyway. I mean, you don’t see them mentioned in the 4th Amendment, do you?

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

If The Founders wanted people to have privacy with respect to phones, they would have mentioned them. “Persons, houses, papers, and effects.” A phone is not a person, a house, nor made of paper. I guess you could make some sort of argument that a phone is an “effect,” but who even knows nowadays what that word meant 200 years ago? The Founders sure couldn’t have meant high-powered pocket computers with large-capacity memory storage because those things didn’t exist. QED, bitches.

“Gee, I’m really sorry your career blew up, Ricky.”

Nickelodeon Parts Ways With Producer Dan Schneider

Nickelodeon and prolific TV producer Dan Schneider have opted to end their longtime partnership.

“Following many conversations together about next directions and future opportunities, Nickelodeon and our longtime creative partner Dan Schneider/Schneider’s Bakery have agreed to not extend the current deal,” the Viacom-owned cable network said Monday in a statement. “Since several Schneider’s Bakery projects are wrapping up, both sides agreed that this is a natural time for Nickelodeon and Schneider’s Bakery to pursue other opportunities and projects.”

Of course, that article makes no mention of why their “longtime partnership” is ending…

The Next Big Hollywood Sex Scandal Is Already Breaking…At Nickelodeon

Dan Schneider is a former actor and producer at Nickelodeon. He is responsible for nearly every one of their biggest successes in the last 20 years. Schneider has produced and written the shows that have given us breakout stars like Arianna Grande, Amanda Bynes and Victoria Justice.

Schneider has also been the subject of some very disturbing and consistent rumors for years. One need only search his name on the internet to find pretty damning rumors about him going back years. There are stories of his foot fetishes and how he acts them out on young extras alone in his office. There are stories about his relationships with his underage teenage stars and how they led to spin-off shows for the girls or blacklisting for those who didn’t participate.

Monique: “He can’t keep his slimy testicles off me.”

Lane: “His what?”

Monique: “Testicles.” (waves arms)

Lane: “Tentacles. N. T. Big difference.”

The Media Martyrdom of Lez Guevara Considered as a Downhill Classmate Corpse Toboggan Race

Joan of Arc and the Passion of Emma González

On Saturday, González, who is small and compact, and who wears her dark hair cropped close to her skull, spoke for just a couple of minutes, offering an emotional name-check of the students who had died. Then, lifting her eyes and staring into the distance before her, González stood in silence. Inhaling and exhaling deeply—the microphone caught the susurration, like waves lapping a shoreline—González’s face was stoic, tragic. Her expression shifted only minutely, but each shift—her nostrils flaring, or her eyelids batting tightly closed—registered vast emotion. Tears rolled down her cheeks; she did not wipe them away. Mostly, the crowd was silent, too, though waves of cheering support—“Go, Emma!” “We all love you!”—arose momentarily, then faded away. She stood in this articulate silence for more than twice as long as she had spoken, until a timer beeped. Six minutes and twenty seconds were over, she told her audience: the period of time it took Nikolas Cruz to commit the massacre.

In its restraint, its symbolism, and its palpable emotion, González’s silence was a remarkable piece of political expression. Her appearance also offered an uncanny echo of one of the most indelible performances in the history of cinema: that of Renée Maria Falconetti, who starred in Carl Theodor Dreyer’s classic silent film from 1928, “The Passion of Joan of Arc.” Based upon the transcript of Joan of Arc’s trial, in 1431, Dreyer’s film shows Joan as an otherworldly young woman—she is nineteen, to the best of her limited knowledge—who, in the face of a barrage of questioning by hostile, older, powerful clerics, is simultaneously self-contained and brimming over with emotion. Falconetti, who never made another movie, gives an extraordinary performance, her face registering at different moments rapture, fear, defiance, and transcendence. Joan’s defense in the face of her inquisitors is largely mute: when she is asked to describe Saint Michael—who, she blasphemously claims, has appeared to her—she mostly refrains from verbal response, her silence bespeaking holy understanding greater than theirs. In the final phase of her life, when Joan knows that she is to be martyred, Dreyer’s camera lingers on closeups of Falconetti, with her brutally close-cropped hair, her rough garments, and her anguished silence. Her extraordinary image in that sequence could be intercut almost seamlessly with footage from Saturday’s rally.

Hagiography at its finest, folks. Emma will have her own feast day soon.

But if Emma is Joan of Arc, might we also cast the rest of the characters for the Emma/Joan movie mash-up? Because David Hogg is perfect for Gilles de Rais.

Gilles de Montmorency-Laval (French: [də ʁɛ]; prob. c. September 1405 – 26 October 1440),[1] Baron de Rais, was a knight and lord from Brittany, Anjou and Poitou,[2] a leader in the French army, and a companion-in-arms of Joan of Arc. He is best known for his reputation and later conviction as a confessed serial killer of children.

…

Gilles’ bodyservant Étienne Corrillaut, known as Poitou, was an accomplice in many of the crimes and testified that his master stripped the child naked and hung him with ropes from a hook to prevent him from crying out, then masturbated upon the child’s belly or thighs. If the victim was a boy he would touch his genitals (particularly testicles) and buttocks. Taking the victim down, Rais comforted the child and assured him he only wanted to play with him. Gilles then either killed the child himself or had the child killed by his cousin Gilles de Sillé, Poitou or another bodyservant called Henriet.^[30] The victims were killed by decapitation, cutting of their throats, dismemberment, or breaking of their necks with a stick. A short, thick, double-edged sword called a braquemard was kept at hand for the murders.^[30] Poitou further testified that Rais sometimes abused the victims (whether boys or girls) before wounding them and at other times after the victim had been slashed in the throat or decapitated. According to Poitou, Rais disdained the victim’s sexual organs, and took “infinitely more pleasure in debauching himself in this manner … than in using their natural orifice, in the normal manner.”^[30]

In his own confession, Gilles testified that “when the said children were dead, he kissed them and those who had the most handsome limbs and heads he held up to admire them, and had their bodies cruelly cut open and took delight at the sight of their inner organs; and very often when the children were dying he sat on their stomachs and took pleasure in seeing them die and laughed”.^[31]