Author: sloopyinca

I hadn’t seen something that awful come out of Panama since their native son John McCain tried to last land an airplane.  6-1…ouch.  Also, the Japanese and Senegal played to an entertaining 2-2 draw and the Polacks couldn’t even screw in a lightbulb as Colombia staved off the death threats for at least a few days by pounding them 3-0.

Meanwhile, on God’s side of the Atlantic (and Pacific if you want to get technical), the Dodgers hit 7 solo homers en route to a victory, tying the MLB record for solo homers in a game.  The Reds swept the Cubs (sorry Evan), the Red Sox blanked the Mariners, the D-backs blanked the Pirates, the MINNESOOOOODA TWIIIIINS blanked Texas and the Houston Astros won again.  Also, in the CWS,  Oregon State knocked off Mississippi State to reach the final best-of-three series where they will be taking on the Arkansas Razorbacks, which is a fan favorite of at least two Glibs.  As far as I know, there’s only one OSU, so I suppose I’ll be pulling for the Hogs.  Series starts tonight at 6 pm God’s time.

I’m fired up for today’s birthdays. Not sure why, since as I’m typing this I haven’t yet looked to see who will make the list.  Diving in now…and I find: future-seer George Orwell, cager Willis Reed, singer Carly Simon, dy-no-mite actor Jimmie Walker, bassist Clint Warwick, keyboardist Allen Lanier, selfish child-abandoner Anthony Bourdain, atheist funny man Ricky Gervais, pop superstar George Michael, and Canadian “musician” Mike Kroeger,  Pretty thin cast of characters there. But there were some important events! Th first woman (1678) recipient of a PhD, Venetian Elena Camaro Piscopia graduated, Virginia ratified the US Constitution, Custer got his ass kicked at Little Bighorn, the Mann Act was passed, Joe Louis defeated Primo Carnera at Yankee Stadium, Britain carpet-bombed Bremen with 1,000 bombs, Ike was appointed US commander in Europe, Anne Frank’s diary was first published in Holland, the Norks invaded the Sorks and the Korean War began, global warming started when it his 86 degrees in Anchorage, AK, the Andrea Doria and Stockholm met in the fog on Cape Cod, the libertarian moment happens when Britain grants Somaliland its independence, “The Omen” was released (shudders in fear), and John Holmes was acquitted own murder charges.

Hopefully the events made up for the dearth of quality birthdays.  Or better yet, let’s make up for it with…the links!

More whitewashing of history.  Way to hold a 19th century writer to 21st century social standards, assholes.

Retailers are turning their shitters into nightclubs to keep the junkies out. Hey, maybe Starbucks should try that.

Maxine Waters calls on those who oppose Trump to confront his staffers and public officials in public. This may decide the midterms right here, IMO. Especially when the “confrontations” turn violent, which they inevitably will. Not helping things is Bernie Sanders, who tells people to fight back on every front. I can only take that as an acceptance of violence since he neglected to clarify what “every” means.  Sorry, but I don’t think the left will be happy until there are bodies in the street…whether they’re the Trump supporters or the leftist antifa goons, they want blood and they know the media will spin it as Trump’s fault, so they’re gonna stir shit until they get some.

Stormy Daniels was all ready for her next 15 minutes. Then the Feds pulled the rug out from under her.

Senator Mark Warner knows how to separate fools from their money. Just kidding. I’m sure Robert Mueller has confided exclusively in him about what might be coming out of the Russia witch hunt.  Especially since he’s been so discreet about things up to this point.  Hey Mark, talked to anybody named Awan lately about internet security?

Ah California’s Bay Area: that bastion of lefty tolerance and acceptance. Maybe they ought to take the beam out of their own eye before bitching about the speck in the old south’s, huh?

Oh Chicago…always on the cutting edge.  They’re coming up with a pilot program where, you’re not gonna believe this, people build homes on vacant lots and they get sold to people who want to buy a home! Its fucking amazing that nobody ever thought to build homes on vacant property before, right?  Oh yeah, one catch: the lots will be sold off to (what I can only presume are politically-connected) developers and taxpayers will pony up $5 million in subsidies for the buyers (who I can also merely assume will be politically-connected).  Um, why not sell the lots to developers at a public auction and reduce tax burdens, dumbasses?

Trump does what Trump does too late night TV host Jimmy Fallon.  Like puppets on a string.

Yes, I do support the death penalty in extremely rare cases that are completely proven without any fear of mistaken identity. And yes, I hope they fry this piece of shit.  There’s no place in a civilized society for people like this and I, for one, will be glad when they remove him from it with all permanence.

Actually several choices for music today. But I went with this one.

Have a great start to your week, friends!

Well yesterday was a strange day.  It only rained for about 20 minutes.  I didn’t know what to do with myself.  Hell, the sun actually came out in the afternoon too! So hopefully the storms are passing and we can set the auction yard for tomorrow’s sale and nobody will get sucked through a sinkhole into the bowels of the earth.  But if they do, maybe they’ll see the Argentina team bus on the way down.  I mean…wow.  They got kicked in the taint by Croatia so hard that their chances of advancing into the knockout stages are really, really low.  Like winning-the-Falklands War-level unlikely.  Elsewhere in the tournament, the Frogs beat Peru and the Socceroos drew with Denmark in what was a rather exciting game.  Today brings us Brazil-Costa Rica, Nigeria-Iceland and Serbia-Switzerland.  Two of those three should be enjoyable while the first one will probably look like a dramatic reenactment of the Charles Whitman shooting spree with all the flopping that’s been going on from South- and Central American players.

Well we’re down to the Final Four in the College World Series.  And yes, those Happy Hogs are alive and kicking squealing.  They’ll take on Florida for the right to go to the championship series, needing to win just one game to get there and Florida needing to take a pair of games since they already have a loss.  The other pairing puts Oregon State in the position of needing two wins against Mississippi State, who needs just one to reach the final series. The action kicks off with Oregon State-MSU in the afternoon and UF-Arkansas in the evening.  Good luck to everyone. But not to the Gators.

The Astros were off. The Brewers won, the Reds beat the Cubs, the Giants won, the D-backs won and Baltimore continues to be inexplicably terrible as they fell to the Nats.  And that, my friends, is it for sports today.

Today we celebrate the birthday of gun enthusiast and enemy of bankers John Dillinger, the extraordinary filmmaker Billy Wilder, hospice founder Cicely Saunders, Highwayman Kris Kristofferson, “journalist” Ed Bradley, the pistol Pete Maravich, Polanski fan Meryl Streep, opportunistic scumbag Lizzie Warren, black Spock Tim Russ, filmmaking genius Bruce Campbell, Clyde “The Glide” Drexler, hater-of-Catholicism and writer of fiction Dan Brown, TV personality Carson Daly, top ranked golfer (in addition to being the dude banging Paulina Gretzky) Dustin Johnson, and somebody who goes by the name “Bob the drag queen”, whatever that means.

Mutineers set Henry Hudson adrift in Hudson Bay on this date. He was never seen from again. Galileo was forced to deny heliocentrism by the Pope, the first Continental Currency was issued, Napoleon abdicated his “throne” for the second time after getting crushed at Waterloo, the first ring doughnut was made, the US Government created the Department of Justice, the first passenger airship , named the Zeppelin Deutschland, took flight, George V, under which the British Empire reached its greatest size, took the throne, the aforementioned John Dillinger is named “public enemy No. 1, arguably the biggest military blunder of modern times, Operation Barbarossa, begins, Tricky Dick signed legislation setting the voting age at 18 across the country, John McEnroe threw his famous tantrum and Whitey Bulger was finally arrested.

Now that’s a lot better than yesterday, in my opinion. And there was a bunch of shit I left out too!  But I had to. Otherwise I’d have never gotten to…the links!

Looks like in addition to dying “in darkness” Democracy will die because of the jacket Melania Trump wore for a few minutes yesterday. Way to go, WaPo. I’m sure a Pulitzer is just around the corner for this bit of hard-hitting news.  Next thing you know, you’ll be reporting on what kind of salad dressing President Trump had relative to everybody else at lunch.

I’m just kidding.  That was actually breathlessly reported on by VOA and NPR. Seriously.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the biggest pussy in America.  Shocking that he’s facing charges and has been fired, which should be a relief to pre-teen children across the Wichita area.

Charles Krauthammer, Pulitzer Prize winner and war monger, has died. The world is no worse off for the loss.

Well it turns out that John McCain is a bigger piece of shit than even we believed him to be. Seriously, telling the IRS to audit PACs because the SC struck down your campaign finance law is a slap in the case of separation of powers, let alone a direct attack on the First Amendment.  That man needs to be charged with conspiracy to deprive the first amendment rights of every single group targeted by Lois Lerner and her jackboot goons.  I cannot stress enough how gross a violation of our rights to peaceably assemble and petition our government for a redress of grievances this is.  It attacks the fundamental foundation of a free people.

Is this what Alanis Morrissette would call “ironic”? I would.  I’d also call it hi-lar-i-ous!

Delta Airlines is banning pit bulls as service or “support-type” animals on their flights. And people are angry about it.  Here’s a bit of advice, Delta: ban ALL dogs that aren’t service animals for the blind or otherwise physically disabled.  The rest of your passengers will thank you and you can avoid headaches with breathlessly retarded people who can only fly if their Great Dane is standing beside them.  Let those fuckers pay to crate and ship their dog like everybody who wasn’t blind had to do before the whole “support animal” bullshit craze kicked off a short while ago.

Chicago medical examiner is so lazy that she wants to do away with the law that actually requires her office to visit crime scenes. The reason is simple: people in her office don’t follow the law anyway, so better to abolish the requirement rather than expect these public officials to follow it.  And furthermore, I mean who needs to look at a crime scene to determine cause of death anyway, right?

New Hampshire is rightfully pissed off over the Supreme Court’s Wayfair decision yesterday. Yeah, so is every small business owner in America who will be required to comply with the tax laws in 50 states, DC and several territories.

And lastly, Angela Merkel finally realizes her job is in jeopardy. About time you listened to your own citizens, dumbass.

Here you go, folks.

Have a great day and a better weekend, friends!

 

The Astros ended their one game losing streak and are still sitting on top of the AL West. Those lovable Hogs won in Omaha while North Carolina were eliminated. And in Russia, Portugal, Spain and Uruguay all won, with the latter sealing their bid in the Round of 16 and the others all but locking their spot down as well.  Today’s full of interesting games, with the Danes taking on the Socceroos, the Frogs playing Peru and the Brazilians who think they’re Italian but speak Spanish (otherwise known as Argentinians) take on Croatia.  Good luck one and all!

Sometimes the birthday roster is meh.  But I gotta say, I enjoy scrolling through them and catching an odd name or two.  Let’s see…today we celebrate the birthdays of: bullshit-artist Jean-Paul Sartre, the voluptuous Jane Russell, singer Ray Davies, E Street Band member Nils Lofgren, former Pakistani PM Benazir Bhutto, maker of one good film and two bad ones Larry (or Lana if you believe in that) Wachowski, talking head Gretchen Carlson, actor Chris Pratt, result of inbreeding Prince William, American hero Edward Snowden, and singer Lana Del Ray.

Its also the day Vespasian conquered Jericho during the Great Jewish Revolt. The US Constitution, largely ignored 230 years later, went into effect, Cyrus McCormick patented his reaping machine (insert STEVE SMITH joke here), the first Ferris wheel was unveiled in Chicago, the Pullman strike in Pittsburgh took place, Lou Gehrig retired, Chief Justice Earl Warren resigned, John Hinckley was found not guilty for trying to kill Ronald Reagan, and SpaceShipOne became the first privately-funded craft to achieve spaceflight in 2004…and was then regulated out of business.

I’ve seen better days for birthdays and events, but we got Ray Davies and Ed Snowden! plus the Constitution and Cyrus McCormick’s reaper which are undoubtedly two of the most important days in the history of individual liberty. Yes, I believe the reaper definitely earns that distinction as much as any invention from the last 300 years not related to firearms or personal weaponry. Feel free to debate that in the comments…which we will get to right after…the links!

Let’s see if there’s any discipline for this socialist federal employee pissing away tax dollars to protest while on the clock. Also, bonus points for trying to use the Groucho mask as a disgui…oh, never mind. She’s that ugly.

Trump takes another step libertarians should applaud. Hopefully it’ll result in the elimination of both at some point, but let’s at least enjoy the thought of another federal downsizing.

Uh, hey pal, there’s an easier way to do research on your novel than this. Christ, what an asshole.

This is going to be the next flashpoint in the BLM-Police UOF showdown. I’m gonna reserve judgement until I see the body- or dash cam with audio, but this one is hard armchair quarterback.

Not sure if it was brought up already, but even if it was, its absolutely hilarious. I only hope to God its true and there is video.

This should make everyone happy except the politicians in Cook County. I find a lot of joy in reading that more people are able to move out of that shithole war zone.

The Japanese appear to be taking the Trump-Kim summit at face value.

And as always, you gotta keep your head on a swivel!

I can think of no song I’d rather play on June 21st than this one.

Make the best of today, friends!

Man, I hate it when a sale day gets close and the more I look at the weather, the more I realize its gonna rain and throw my entire layout off.  So it looks like I’ll be spending today setting up tents rather than items.  BOO! I feel like the Colombian soccer team.  Uh, hey guys, don’t you remember what happened to some of the 1994 team members after that failure?  Yeah, let’s try not to repeat that, ok Colombian fans?  Also, Poland fell to Senegal and Russia locked their place in the Round of 16 after beating Egypt.  Uruguay can lock their place down today as well. And Portugal and Spain both get a chance to get a win, as they face some weak opposition.

Well the Astros were bound to lose eventually. But it seems to happen all too often that their bats go to sleep when Verlander is on the hill.  Way to go guys.  And in the CWS, we will have to wait yet again to see Arkansas-Texas Tech after another day filled with delays.  Texas was bounced from the tourney and Mississippi State advanced in their winners bracket by drilling North Carolina.

Guitarist Chet Atkins was born on this date. As was super-fucking-badass Audie Murphy, National Front leader Jean-Marie Le Pen, Beach Boy Brian Wilson, Commodore Lionel Richie, brilliant actor John Goodman, Speaker Of The House Munster Butch Patrick, high-flying wrestler Koko B Ware,  actress Nicole Kidman, and possibly the second-best real wrestler of all-time Cael Sanderson.

It is also the date on which the Romans and Visigoths joined up to defeat Atilla the Hun on the Catalunian Plains, Oxford received its charter, Queen Victoria ascended the throne at the age of 18, the telegraph was patented, Andrew Johnson announced the purchase of Alaska, Lizzie Borden was acquitted, the NAACP was incorporated, Jesse Owens, running for The Ohio State University, set the 100m indoor world record, Muhamad Ali was convicted of refusing induction into the armed forces, Juan Peron returned to Argentina from exile, “Chinatown” debuted at the box office, so did what is arguably a perfect movie in “Jaws”.  Jesus, so did “Blues Brothers”, and OJ Simpson was arraigned in the murder of his wife and her “friend” Ron Goldman.

Heady stuff there, even if the birthday roster was a bit “meh”.  Anyhoo, on to…the links!

Look at the picture and see if you can guess the crime without clicking on the link

Please let this happen. Please let this happen. Please let this happen. I don’t know if there’s really anything else to say.

Hey, imagine that: as the economy continues to improve, a bunch of deadbeats are going back to work. Gee, makes you wonder how much of the previous years’ payments were fraudulent.  Actually, don’t think about that, it’ll only lead to depression.

Teacher. Students. Sex. You know the drill. But in this case, she only got 30 days.

OK, now do the rest of the United Nations. Because it isn’t much better.

Ah, travel league softball…never change.

See if you can find all the double-standards for the Kings Men in this piece. It’ll be like “Highlights”, but for libertarians.

If he did it, I hope they spring him up by his nuts until they shrivel up and die. I really don’t have anything else to say.

A pretty big catalog.  But I decided to go with this one.

Hope y’all enjoyed this War And Peace-length version of the links.  Go have a great day!

Its Juneteenth, Texans.  Time to celebrate the ending of slavery in the state and in the south.  Of course, slavery was still legal in some states that didn’t secede. But historians would prefer people believe slavery, once ended in the former confederate states, was ended for good much earlier that year.  And it still goes on in much of the world, of course.  Today is also the day we celebrate birthdays for the following: mathematician Blaise Pascal, divorcee Wallis Simpson, fucking GENIUS funny man Moe Howard, Iron Horse Lou Gehrig, author Salman Rushdie, “singer” and vodka fan Paula Abdul, hilarious Top Gear guest and former mayor of London Boris Johnson, actress Mia Sara, Maverick Dirk Nowitzki, and mean-as-snot child Justice Forall Sloopy Juneteenth Spicer. Its also the day the Metropolitan Police in London were formed, the British royal family dropped their German name and adopted Windsor in order to throw people off the scent of their ties to those filthy Huns, Max Schmeling knocked out Joe Louis, Rommel occupied Cherbourg, Cheerios was unveiled to the disgust of children everywhere, Lewis and Martin ended their run together, that bastard Jim Davis subjected the world to “Garfield” for the first time (and may God have mercy on his soul), drug lord Pablo Escobar surrendered to police, “Batman Returns” was released, and Cherry Garcia hit the shelves.

England barely pulled out a win over Tunisia, after a dozen missed chances and a lot of crappy play by their attackers.  No word yet on whether or not Harry Kane will try to take credit for Tunisia’s goal as well. Belgium thumped Panama and Sweden bested South Korea. Meanwhile, in Omaha, Oregon State sent Washington home in a losers bracket game. No other games were completed, meaning three are on the slate today, with Arkansas taking on Texas Tech in the nightcap.  In the big leagues, the Yanks and Cats split a doubleheader, the Dodgers-Cubs was postponed, the D-backs won and the Houston Firstros took their current win streak to 12 with a walk-off win against the hapless Rays.

OK, time for…the links!

“Look, you got your kid eventually. I think its best we all just forget this and move on. No harm, no foul, right?” -Logan Regional Medical Center Legal Counsel (paraphrased) I’d probably go berserk as well, but its kinda funny since it happened to someone else.

I was wondering why James Comey hadn’t tweeted in some time and the wave of supporters he had from the intel community seemed to have dried up a bit.  I suppose now I know why.  He belongs in jail for admitting to leaking classified information in the name of self-aggrandizement.  Even he knows that, which is why he chose to double-down in an attempt to win the PR war.  Doesn’t look like it worked.

The SPLC took a financial hit and will have to pay $3.375 million for wrongfully labeling a reformer an “anti-Muslim extremist”.  Not to worry, Morris Dees and his little slush fund will continue to shake people down and slander them.

Listen, if you’re dumb enough to throw your money at a place like this, you probably get what you deserve.

AG Jeff Sessions asks Supreme Court to intervene in sanctuary cities receipt of federal block grants. The feds have thus far not successfully challenged sanctuary cities ability to get federal tax dollars. But they’ve not exactly been zealous in their challenges from past administrations.

Massachussets grifters will have to wait a little longer to steal more money from the Commonwealth’s wealthiest taxpayers. LOL, these dumbasses are too stupid to even know how to write a ballot initiative that complies with the state constitution.  Do we really think for a second they’ll be good stewards of the additional confiscated money?

And Pervez Musharraf will not be allowed to seek office, according to Pakistani Election Commission.

One of these guys is celebrating a birthday today.  Plus its from a pretty funny scene in “Caddyshack” involving Spalding, vomit and Dr Beeper.

That’s it for me.  Hope y’all have a great day. I’m gonna bake a birthday cake for the youngest member of the family.

 

Hope all you dads out there had a great Fathers Day weekend. And I hope the USGA are proud of themselves for killing the greens on Saturday.  Looks like they are, because they spent all day yesterday patting themselves on the back for “fixing” the problem they created in the first place.  At least next year is at Pebble Beach.  They can’t ruin that as well, can they?

Way to go, Germany.  You too, Brazil. Hell, throw Argentina in there.  They all gave points away, Germany most of all.  But I think all Americans who follow soccer can unite in our contempt for Landon Donovan. I especially like in his tweet toward Carlos Bocanegra where he says to “stand for something.”  I guess “something” is Wells Fargo dropping a small pile of money in your lap.  Douchebag.

Hey, look. The Astros just completed a 10-game road trip. And went 10-0. They have their streak at 11 right now and are finally looking like its coming together.  Now about that bullpen…

And speaking of baseball, your CWS early round winners were Texas Tech, Mississippi State, North Carolina and the Arkansas Razorbacks.  And speaking of Razorback fans, of which I know we have a couple here, get a load of this genius in Omaha.

That’s it for sports.  Hey, famous mountain climber George Mallory was born on this date. He shares it with (should-be) basketball legend George Mikan, base-stealer Lou Brock, musician and scold Paul McCartney, blowhard Roger Ebert, one-time hottie Isabella Rossellini, (possibly the best) defensive end (of all time) Bruce Smith, former ace of hearts Uday Hussein, and spitter Sandy Alomar. Its also the date when William Penn founded Philadelphia, Napoleon was defeated at Waterloo, Susan B Anthony was fined $100 for voting, the 1st Amusement park in America opened its doors in Atlantic City, Ameila Earhart proved that women can do anything men can do (several years later) by flying across the Atlantic, Winston Churchill gave his “this was their finest hour” speech, Brezhnev visited the US and Nixon, Sally Ride travels to space, Boris Yeltsin visited the US, and Unabomber (and possible Glibertarian) Ted Kaczynski was indicted. Fine stuff, some of that.

OK, on to…the links!

Five are dead after their SUV, filled with 14 people, overturned while being pursued by the Border Patrol. Its safe to assume both sides in the illegal immigration and detention debate will be using this all day.

Meghan Markle’s father is a really weird dude.  I, for one, look forward to him making an ass out of himself and the royal family he’s now technically a part of.  This is gonna be like Billy Carter on steroids.

The New York state assembly says “In this case, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.” And apparently, they were just the guys to do it.

Party-crashers get what’s coming to them.  I’m shocked none of the attendees got arrested.

Fucking Chicago…..not much else to say. But by all means, keep him. We don’t want him back in Texas, unless its to serve out a sentence.

22 people were injured when gunfire erupted at an all-night arts festival in New Jersey. Huh, it got pushed off the front page of all the liberal rags pretty quickly.  Gee, I wonder why.

And Ted Cruz beat Jimmy Kimmel in a game of 1-on-1 basketball for charity. I can only imagine that it was a near shot-by-shot remake of the “cripple fight” scene from South Park.  Come on, you two. Settle your spat by strapping on gloves and beating each other to a pulp. 1 on 1 is boring and lacks the violence we crave in out politician-vs-talk show host disagreements.

I almost picked “Jet” just to rile someone up, but I’m going further back. And picking a better song.

Have a great day, friends. I’m going to get a root canal in a couple hours.

Russia pounded Saudi Arabia’s nuts in the World Cup opener.  Mo Salah (Egyptian king)  will be on the bench against Uruguay today. And “The Battle For Iberia” is this afternoon.  I just thought of that, so if you think its retarded, you know who to point a finger at.  And Kellen Winslow II, one of the biggest assholes in all of professional sports over the last few decades, is in a bit more legal trouble than everyone thought when he was first arrested last week.

On the diamonds, your winners were: San Francisco, Philly, Detroit, Cleveland (who managed to split a series with White Sox), the World Champion Houston Astros, Yankees, Braves, Diamondbacks and Red Sox.

And then…there was the bloodbath at Shinnecock Hills.  There probably hadn’t been that much carnage on Long Island since the white man first set foot on the continent.  It was just brutal.  The average score was more than 6 over par. Just four players in red numbers after the first round, and I would imagine that number won’t get any bigger as we get to the weekend.  I partially blame the conditions, which were tricky to say the least.  But when you crosscut the greens, dry them out as much as possible, and put pins in unapproachable locations, are you really bringing out the best in these players?  I would tend to say they should leave everything else alone but at least make the greens comparable to what tour players face on a regular basis.  You simply cannot put pins on the side of a ridge on a rear-sloping green with the entire back fringe bikini-waxed.  It makes for shitty golf, in my opinion.  Look for DJ to carry on and go into the weekend either in the lead or right there in contention.  God knows what else will happen, other than a bunch of guys in the 80s and fans grumbling (some) over the weekend that a lot of big names are spending Fathers Day weekend at home.

Sorry for the rant. Hey look, composer Edvard Greig was born on this date.  Am an whose work I quite enjoy.  So were commie Yuri Andropov, jazz pianist Erroll Garner, asshole Mario Cuomo, musical genius Waylon Jennings, whore/author Xaviera Hollander, “the lizard” Dusty Baker, another commie Xi Jinping, the brother of a great comedian Jim Belushi, fried chicken and beer aficionado Wade Boggs, “actress” Helen Hunt, “actress” Courtney Cox, actor and musician O’Shea Jackson, Starship Trooper Niel Patrick Harris, three-time world champ and San Francisco Giant Tim “The Freak” Lincecum, and also the aforementioned Egyptian King, Mo Salah is celebrating.

Its also a great day in the history of the individual. Its the day the Magna Carta was signed by King John.  I’ve seen an original of the document in Washington at the National Archives.  It was a really cool experience. George Washington was appointed commander-in-chief of the Continental Army. Charles Goodyear patented the vulcanization of rubber, Henry Flipper (in 1877) became the first black man to graduate from West Point, mustache-genius Wilhelm II became Emperor of Germany, Ford Motor Company built its 10 millionth vehicle, scumbag and cross-dresser J Edgar Hoover assumed leadership of the FBI, “The Dirty Dozen” hit theaters, and Jack Nicklaus, the winner of the most majors of all time and most likely the greatest golfer ever, won the 80th US Open.

I hope you got all that.  Especially the golf stuff.  Now we come to…the links!

I’ve got nothing on the IG report.  Everybody saw it, everybody has an opinion on it. I’d be mailing it in if I used that as a link when I know it’ll be topic of the day anyhow. So consider this my bringing it up, and feel free to go crazy on it in the comments.

Oh no! This is definitely going to break our economy. Whatever will we do? I mean, if this doesn’t end soon, I can only imagine the streets in South Florida and Arizonas will be almost devoid of Cadillacs and Buicks floating across three lanes to get to the 4:30 PM dinner special in the fall.  And teenage boys won’t have a fictitious girlfriend to talk about when they get back from summer vacation.  And … well, that’s pretty much it.

Bipartisan push for shield laws for journalists is back on.  OK, great.  But mentioning an opportunist partisan hack sleeping her way through sources in order to spin bullshit might not be as good a poster child as, say, Edward Snowden and Wikileaks, who do nothing put post the raw data and let people decide for themselves how to take it.  Also, I’ll pose a question: should we grant protected status to the sources who are breaking federal confidentiality laws or should we merely allow the stories to be printed and not punish the journalists?  She’s not being punished. And the defense of the feds here, in my opinion, is that they subpoena’d the records of their target’s lover, not his journalistic outlet. What say you?

If you expected this to have happened somewhere other than Florida, you’re not paying attention. I applaud his desire to enforce his contract. But his methods are suspect.

I see the left is flipping the fuck out that the Trump admin plans on enforcing our naturalization policy and possibly removing violent criminals from the country. Yeah, good luck selling that one.

Only in Chicago.  I mean, the corruption in that city just can’t be topped.  Maybe, just maybe, all the Chicago Glibs need to move out and we need to drop a nuke on that cesspool of government corruption.  Maybe.

And the latest Darwin Award winners are…these dumbasses.

If you’re at work, you may want to not play this song on full volume. For the birthday boy.

Have a great day and a wonderful Fathers Day weekend.  I know I will.

Well the World Cup is about to kick off in a few hours.  I can’t wait to see how the USMNT does…in their MLS games that are still going on.  Stupid bastards not qualifying.  That’s what they get for assuming they’d coast through qualifying.  You know who else was wrong about coasting through an opposition?  The Cleveland Indians, apparently.  The Chicago White Sox beat them again, for a two-game winning streak. They’re solidly out of the basement and have their eyes set on a respectable third in their division.  Way to keep grinding, guys.  The Astros won again, as did the Dodgers, Padres, the BIG RED MACHINE, the Marlins, Rockies, Nationals, Mariners, Pirates, Red Sox, Rays, Braves and Brew Crew, who have now created just a little separation in the NL Central after dropping the Cubs two times in a row.

Two other things of note in the sports world: the US Open kicks off today with a bevy of start teeing it up early.  Come on, Jordan, get the flat stick working this week.  Yeah, right. I’m thinking DJ or Dustin Thomas.

And lastly, I’m absolutely stunned that ESPN let this story get published. It goes against their base instinct to only print negative articles on the subject.

Harriet Beecher Stowe, coiner of the term “Uncle Tom” was born on this date. So were butcher/sociopatyh Che Guevara, President Donald Trump, guitarists Rod Argent and Barry Melton, singer and A-Team associate Boy George, tennis player and philanthropist (what she and Aggasi have done with their money is more than commendable) Steffi Graf and rapper MC Ren.

Its also the day the Continental Congress adopted the stars and stripes flag, Captain Bligh inexplicably made it to Timor, California declared independence from Mexico, Robert Bunsen invented his Bunsen burner, the first cycle in professional baseball was recorded, Hitler and Mussolini met for the first time in Vienna, Max Baer knocked Primo Carnera out, the first commercial computer, the UNIVAC 1 was put into service at the Census Bureau, Tricky Dick imposed a 60-day price freeze, signaling the absolute end of the free market, the Gong Show made its debut and Argentina capitulated to Great Britain, ending the Falklands War. Oh, and the Obama Admin charges Edward Snowden with Espionage.

That’s better than yesterday, except for the lack of musical talent.  But you can’t win em all.  Anyway, let’s get to…the links!

The Special Counsel’s office looks like its being run by amateurs. Or by deliberate leakers. Or something pretty absurd.

The Horowitz report on the FBI’s handling of the Clinton e-mail crimes and exonerations will be released today. And its expected to not go easy on the FBI. Oh, speaking of the IG, when is that indictment he recommended for Andy McCabe expected to come down?

Yo, Adrian! Get me a lawyer on the phone. Sly Stallone under investigation for rape that was supposed to have occurred in 1990.  No word on how deep the coma she was in for those 27 years to have just woken up to file a complaint this week.

The modern-day P.T. Barnum finds his latest sucker. Surprise! Its the Chicago taxpayers. For extra lulu, its been nicknamed “Tesla-in-a-tunnel”. I guess they’re planning on it driving itself into a wall and incinerating everyone inside.

Progressive, tolerant people want to erase history. And its looks like they’ll get a second chance too do so in San Francisco.

Boston City Council makes sure the people who live there know there is no such thing as private property.  Fucking scumbags.

Aaaaaaand the plague is back in the United States.

It was either this or NWA. I chose to keep our family-friendly label.

Have a great day, y’all.

 

Sorry, rest of the world.  The World Cup is headed back to America. Not the trophy, obviously, but the tournament.  We will be sharing it with America Jr and our Mexican brothers and sisters. But this will still be pretty cool for us.  Especially since, unlike the rest of the hosts over the past several cups, we won’t have to build all new stadiums for the thing.

The Red Sox, Yankees, Phillies, Twinks, Marlins, Rays, White Sox…wait, what?  Wow, the White Sox really did win. Oh, sorry. I digress. The Brewers, Reds, Padres, D-backs, Mariners, Dodgers and ASTROOOOOOOS won yesterday.  The Ottowa Senators try to stop a catfight.  Seriously, what a psycho. And that’s about all that happened in the sports world that I can come up with.  Unless you guys want to talk college football recruiting and the best OL in the class spurning Bama, UGA and Clemson to head north to Columbus.  But we can talk about that later.

Charles Algernon Parsons was born today.  He invented the steam turbine. So was Ma Furgeson, 1st woman elected governor of Texas. And she had the job twice!. Actor Basil Rathbone shares the date, along with “Flying Finn” Paavo Nurmi, football legend Red Grange, genius and nutter John Nash, conservative actor Tim Allen, brat packer Ally Sheedy, musician Rivers Cuomo, child actress and designer Ashley Olsen, child actress and cocaine aficionado Mary-Kate Olsen, and busty “actress” Kat Dennings.

Its also the day King Ferdinand of Austria subjected himself to the Ottoman emperor Suleiman, The Marquis de Lafayette landed in the United States to help stomp the limeys, Simon Bolivar was declared dictator for life, Andrew Johnson signed proclamation for confederate reconstruction, Charles Lindbergh had a ticker-tape parade for his transatlantic flight, Hermann Goering established the gestapo, Babe Ruth gave his farewell speech in Yankee Stadium, the last British troops leave the Suez Canal (probably a mistake in retrospect), Vostok 6 took the first woman into space, Mick Taylor joined the Rolling Stones, Let It Be hit #1, “Grease” hit theaters, George Harrison released “This Is Love” and sadly this is the day that stupid asshole drunk limo driver destroyed the body of hockey great Vladimir Konstantinov. (I’d be in the stands the next year as the Red Wings swept the Caps to win the Stanley Cup in front of a sparse crowd at the MCI Center.)

Lotta stuff there.  And now…the links!

While the boss is out there making flamethrowers, Tesla is cutting 9% of their workforce.  How much longer will their shareholders let this clown run their company into the ground?

Ballot initiative to split California into three states earns a spot on the November ballot. I believe it was out very own Jesse who had some contact with the people heading up this campaign.  If I’m right, maybe we can get some inside dope on what’s happening.  If I’m wrong then…ignore me.

Trump will be briefed on the IG’s report on the Clinton email fiasco before it is released to the public.  And on his birthday no less!  The tweets will be, how shall I put this, FUCKING EPIC!!!!!!

Apparently intimidation of witnesses or people with oversight of a federal department is no longer a crime.  This asshole needs to be fired and disbarred at a minimum.  He should probably be charged with something involving witness intimidation or contempt of Congress.  The people, after all, are merely asking him for records so they can perform their defined job of federal oversight of his department.

Chicago taxpayers, I’m sure you’re happy about your skyrocketing property and sales taxes going to shit like this.  Hey, its better than the pension scam the cops and CPS are running.  Marginally.

Damn, talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  And a horrible way to go, too.

“Rights” group makes a statement.  I would assume Israel’s response will be: “and how many Divisions does the Human Rights Watch have?”  Seriously, HRW needs to eat a turd on this one.  Gaza is a shithole by design of Hamas and their barbaric death-cult followers.  There, I said it.  Israel has every right in the world to defend her borders from those who very vocally said their goal was to enter Israel and kill as many people as possible.  And anybody stupid enough to commingle with this idiots at the fence and burn tires and all kinds of other stupid shit deserve whatever they got.

So many choices today. But really, its a no-brainer for me.

Have a fantastic day, friends.

I woke up this morning and expected the world to have ended.  And according to MSNBC and CNN….it has. But more on that later.  Right now, I want to congratulate the Washington Capitals before they, and all of their fans, are too drunk to remember that I said it.  And I also want to say “PIIIIIIG SOOOOOOOOEY!” or whatever Arkansas Razorback fans say when they stomp on the Cocks and punch their ticket to Omaha.  Joining them are the Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech red Raiders and the Floriduh Gators.  The Yankees were off yesterday, which makes sense since they’ve played 7-8 fewer games than everyone else it seems. Rumor has it that Aaron Judge used the opportunity to sacrifice a live chicken to satisfy Jobu, who will help him eventually hit the curveball.  If only he’d give his life to Jesus, it would all be easier.

Hey, today is George HW Bush’s birthday. Dude made it to 94!.  Also born today were diarist Anne Frank, actor/singer Jim Nabors, tv announcer and convicted sexual assaulter Marv Albert, Pretender Pete Farndon, funny man and Canadian Scott Thompson, musician Kenny Wayne Shepherd, and former Liverpool star and current Barcelona benchwarmer Philippe Coutinho. Its also the day for revolting peasants in 1381’s England, Virginia adopted the Declaration of Rights in 1776, the gas mask was patented, the Philippines told Spain to fuck off, Babe Ruth was struck out three times in a row by Hub Pruett, Houdini did the straight jacket escape while hanging 40 ft in the air, Bobby Jones, one of the three greatest golfers to ever play, won the 1930 US Open, Al Capone was indicted, Germany launched its first V-1 attack on London, Cleopatra premiered in 1963…it ended sometime the next day, Nelson Mandela was sentenced to life in prison, and the “colorful” Sparky Anderson was hired by the Tigers. Also, the unforgettable “Raiders Of The Lost Ark” premiered.  and Nobel laureate Alexandr Solzhenitsyn was given the State Prize of the Russian Federation by President Putin for his humanitarian work.

A little lean on birthdays there, but some significant events for sure.  Feel free to discuss at your leisure.  But I need to move on to…the links!

North Korea commits to complete denuclearization while Trump declares end to “war games” on the Korean Peninsula.  That’s a good thing, right? Unless you’re an idiot, that should be a good thing.  (Protip: if you think its a “good thing”, don’t look at the analysis on CNN or MSNBC this morning. Apparently its a bad thing because we just legitimized a thug.  Which is different than Cuba how, exactly?  Still waiting on an answer for that question.)

Its shootings like this that are why Germans need strict gun control.  Christ, what an asshole.

Somebody out there with some influence over him might want to tell Bill Clinton to just STFU.  Seriously, I think there’s a lot of overblown hysteria with the #metoo movement, but he’s gonna come off as a little tone-deaf what with all of the sexual assault (read: rape) allegations against him, his many trips to Epstein’s Pedo Island and the settlements he has made for sexual harassment allegations.

This is why we all need to appreciate “Starship Troopers” (the movie) as an instruction manual rather than lighthearted entertainment.

Hey, man. Nice shot. No, seriously, this was a good shoot by the coppers.  And the craziest thing is it was a Chicago cop that did the good deed.  Its unknown how many of his “brothers” were out there terrorizing people for no reason at the same time, but I’ll still give credit where due.

Joe Kennedy III faces an angry mob and apologizes. What I don’t get is why a Kennedy would admit to a mistake when he could have just said he was wasted and needed a rehab stint to clean up.  That’s been their go-to for a generation now. Meh, maybe he’s saving it for his first manslaughter or hit-and-run

And our runner-up in today’s “Christ, what an asshole” competition is former Texas Judge Stacy W. Bond. What did she do?  Well, she locked up a sexual assault victim and pretty much drove her nuts.  What was her excuse?  Because she’s “busy”, she didn’t do her due diligence.

Well that’s it. Except for this lighthearted little ditty.

Now get out there and have a great day.