Author: sloopyinca

Djoker and Cilic move on. Venus and Serena will face off today, and the fields will continue to wilt in the heat in Flushing. A few college football games on the slate last night had Purdue (where Neil Armstrong, who to the consternation of Ryan Gosling and the other dickheads involved in a recent film, planted a US flag on the moon, went to college, lost to Northwestern in a hell of a good game. Some big games coming tomorrow and through the holiday weekend. And on the diamonds, the winners were: Milwaukee, Cleveland, Detroit, St Louis, Chicago (NL), Boston, Anaheim, Seattle, Arizona and San Diego.

This date’s birthdays include: Roman emperors Caligula and Commodus, the original schoolmarm Maria Montessori, comedian Buddy Hackett, actor James Coburn, frog sports legend Jean Beliveau,  baseball legend Frank Robinson, musician Bob Welch, music legend Van Morrison, (alleged) rodent-afficianado Richard Gere, rocker Rudolf Schenker, lousy prosecutor Marcia Clark, singer Glenn Tilbrook, once-adorable singer Debbie Gibson, and hilarious actor Chris Tucker.

Its also the date when the following occurred: Jack The Ripper’s first victim was found, Thomas Edison patented the Kinetiscope, “The Threepenny Opera” hit the stage, the Young Plan was agreed upon, Foghorn Leghorn made his screen debut, Malaya gained her independence, the first solar-powered car debuted, Trinidad & Tobago gained her independence as well, The stupid Dept of HUD was established, a computer beat Garry Kasparov at chess, Sinn Fein declared a cease-fire in Northern Ireland, and (former) Princess Diana and boyfriend Dodi Fayed were killed in a car crash in Paris.

OK, now on to…the links!

Just in case they were worried about large crowds flooding theaters, moviemakers ensure they piss off the largest audience for the film. Oh, and enjoy your metric system, rest of the world (yes, I know there are a couple of other exceptions). We will enjoy being the only nation to send men to the moon.

Well it looks like NBC might have some explaining to do. I mean, sure, they had to dedicate a team of reporters to dig up such groundbreaking stories as what Trump had for dinner and how it causes mental illness in some lab animals. But you’d think they might support reporting on the biggest sex scandal this side of the Catholic Church.

That boycott of In-N-Out isn’t exactly going as planned. Not surprising. They’re good burgers, their staff are friendly and efficient and they take good care of their employees.  Their fries still suck though.

Fuck John McCain. This is how you do a damn funeral.

When teachers unions say their only focus is on the children, you might want to remain skeptical.  Good job though, kid. You can literally tell your kids how much harder you had it when you’re older.

Chicago is a powder keg ahead of the Jason Van Dyke trial.  I, for one, predict shit going very, very bad regardless of what happens. And this being the crookedest city in the nation when it comes to cops getting special treatment, I’d bet on a not guilty verdict and some nasty riots.

The Papa John’s shitshow continues.  You know, all of those dumbasses are gonna be out of work until they realize that airing your dirty laundry in public is a bad idea.

Former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling is out of prison. Jeez, I wonder how many people are gonna be looking for that asshole to exact some revenge.

Something for everybody today. The birthdays are just too plentiful to narrow it down to one person. Although if I had to give top billing, this would be it. But these guys had their shit together too. And if you don’t like this last one, then you just don’t get my generation.

Go have a hell of a (long) weekend friends.  I’ll be spending part of it watching football and the rest with my son, as he departs Monday night for basic training.  Many tears will be shed.

A Cleveland Brown can’t even win with insider information. Courtney Smith has been lying about police reports (and Brett McMurphy should have done some research). Liverpool are sent to Pot #3. Aaron Rogers gets paiiiiiid. College football is just two days away. Andy Murray is bounced. And Venus will face Serena in the third round at the US Open (go Venus!!!).

And on the diamonds, your winners yesterday were: Arizona, Pittsburgh, Los Angeles, Tampa Bay, Milwaukee. The MINNESOOOOODA TWIIIIIINS, Philthadelphia, Chicago (AL), Baltimore, Boston, San Diego, New York (NL), Kansas City, Chicago (NL) and the world champion Houston Astros won with Tyler White’s walk-off homerun to win the important series with Oakland and get a little bit of breathing room.

Let’s see who was born on August 30th, shall we? They include: author Mary Shelley, father of nuclear physics Ernest Rutherford, politician Huey Long, co-designer of ENIAC John Mauchley, the greatest hitter of all time (and better pilot than a recently-deceased Senator) Ted Williams, boxing trainer-extraordinaire Angelo Dundee, rent-seeker Warren Buffett, Fritz The Cat cartoonist Robert Crumb, terrorist leader Hassan Nasrallah, the attractive yet stupid Cameron Diaz, singer Aaron Barrett, and slap-head Michael Chiklis.

Its also the day William Penn left England, Handel completed “Jepthra”, Melbourne Australia was founded, so was the great city of Houston Texas, Jack Dempsey wins his first title with boxing gloves, Ty Cobb made his major league debut, the siege of Leningrad started, McArthur landed in Japan, Casey Stengel retired from baseball, Jimmy Carter was attacked by a rabbit on a canoe, Yassar Arafat left Beirut (for the millions he had hidden in France probably), and Ken Griffey Sr and Ken Griffey Jr were the first father-son combo to play a MLB game together.

And now on to…the links!

Police officer who murdered teen given 15 years in Texas. I would have preferred a longer sentence, but the convictions alone are progress.

John McCain proves that one can be as petty in death as he was in life. Or: his family are a bunch of assholes.  Take your pick.

There’s nothing suspicious about a case at all when prosecutors conveniently forget to do their job…shortly after the entire place where physical evidence was located happened to be razed by government officials and the other defendants were released on bail reserved for traffic offenses.  Yes, nothing suspicious at all.

I sure hope a decent country or a president with some courage to face down criticism (hello, Donald Trump are you listening?) doesn’t let this happen. Because it would be a travesty if the good work he’s done would go away in order for the deep state(s) to further imbed themselves.

The leftist outrage mob goes after In-N-Out. Come on, people. Their real crime is those French fries, not their political donations.  Also, this is why anonymous political donations need to be made legal. Companies should not have to disclose who they make donations to other than to confirm them on their tax forms at the end of the year (which Dem operatives in the IRS will leak anyway, but at least then it would be a crime).

Well, I guess I can laugh at Chicago about this. Especially since I’m not one of the taxpayers being screwed to pay for both parts of the story. Ah, fuck it. Even if I was being forced to pay for it, I’d still laugh.

And the (in my opinion) greatest golfer of all time comes out in support of the third greatest golfer of all time. And now he can be pilloried on ESPN and the other SJW-led media outlets and his courses can be boycotted by people who never play golf anyway.

Damn, I could use one of these today. But I’ll wait until Saturday since that’s when football starts.

Have a great day, friends. The week’s almost over.

 

Its too hot for some people at the US Open, Tom Herman likes strip clubs, Urban Meyer wasn’t lying at the press conference and a couple ESPN sportscasters question Tiger Woods’ blackness because he doesn’t hate Donald Trump. And your baseball winners were: Boston, Baltimore, New York (AL), Washington, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Chicago (NL), Oakland, Kansas City, St Louis, Colorado, Sad Diego and San Francisco. That’s the sports world in a nutshell.

I ran through that because I wanted to get to John Locke’s birthday. He is remembered on this date with: inventor Charles Kettering, beautiful actress Ingrid Bergman, jazzman Charlie “Bird” Parker, movie man Richard Attenborough, BBC chairman Marmaduke Hussey (he’s meaningless to me, but that name…damn!), POW pilot John McCain, actor Elliot Gould, shooting victim James Brady, rockers Sterling Morrison, Richard Halligan and Chris Copping, pederast Michael Jackson, actress Rebecca DeMornay, rocker Greg Steele, and Airbnb CEO Brian Chesky.

Its also the day Charles I signed a peace treaty with the Scots, Shay’s Rebellion took place, there motorcycle was patented in Germany, the Goodyear Tire Company was founded, the Graf Zeppelin completed an around-the-world flight, the USSR performed its first nuclear test, Speedy Gonzales made his screen debut, so did “Mary Poppins”, the Beatles did their last public concert, Don Baylor is hit by a pitch for a record 190th time, Saddam says the US can’t defeat Iraq, and Lance Armstrong was stripped of 7 Tour de France titles.

I hope you got that, because its time for…the links!

The New York Times notes how the conservatives in the Catholic Church are exploiting the child sexual abuse scandal for their own purposes.  Exploiting. Child sex abuse. To hurt Francis. That’s the NY Times’s take on it. That conservatives are exploiting a legitimate sex abuse scandal in order to hurt the liberal/socialist Pope. I’m not sure I could find something more retarded if I tried.

But wait, I’m gonna try! And this comes close. That dick in California who notoriously pulled a dine-and-dash on a few dates is potentially facing 13 years in prison. For running out on a few dates to the tune of $950 total.  You can literally shit in the street or shoot smack into your arm on a sidewalk. You can form an antics masked mob and toss trash cans through the windows of public buildings in order to shut down speech and you won’t even get so much as a “stop, don’t do that” from the cops. But leg it on a few dates and you can face 13 years in the slammer on the taxpayer’s dime.  What. The. Ever-loving. Fuck?

Trump demands that the FBI look into the Chinese hacking of Hillary Clinton’s private server (where she kept 31,000 work emails and didn’t disclose it until she was forced to and then later deleted emails after the server had been subpoena). Between that, Feinstein employing a spy for a driver for over a decade and the Awan brothers, they might not have any credibility left to salvage even if they do start looking into the hacking or Clinton’s gross negligence extreme carelessness.

The Florida Democratic primary for the governor’s race was a shocker, but the rest of the election night went according to plan. Let’s see how a “free shit!” democrat plays in a state based on tourist dollars coming in. And let’s hope we’ve finally seen the last of that piece of shit Joe Arpaio.

Aw, now at the fuck is this fucking shit?

A person would violate Ordinance 14-61 (b) 1 if he/she uses a language likely to provoke a violent reaction from another person. The ordinance lists several examples of the types of words which are unlawful. The penalty for conviction could include a fine and/or jail time. We encourage everyone to avoid violating this ordinance by speaking to others with the same respect and kindness he or she deserves.

But what if they deserve to be called an asshole?

That’s some pretty good police work there, Lou. In their defense, they are pretty busy helping to clear the city streets of excrement so the bums will have a place to lie down and shoot smack.

Yeah, don’t give it to the people who got ripped off. Take the money and piss it away on stupid boondoggles. Because who deserves the settlement money more: those who bought cars under false pretenses or the fucking government?

Child of Cuban refugees stands firm when questioned about an “insensitive” social media post featuring Hitler. Good for him.  Also, he’s correct.

Just in case you were planning on moving to a Bordertown, these are the ones the FBI says are the safest and most dangerous. Surprising nobody, El Paso tops the list for Texas.

Here you go. Make sense of it if you can.

Now go out there and have a great day.

Halep is bounced, Venus and Serena both advance, Mourinho demands respect (after getting demolished) and we are only a few days away from some serious college football. That’s the state of the sports world these days. Unless you’re concerned with overpaying a prima donna receiver who isn’t half the player Rice, Carter or Moss (fine, or Belitnekoff for the old people here)  were. But the Mara family isn’t exactly known for their shrewd roster moves lately.  Have fun watching that investment blow up in your faces, Giants fans.

A small slate of baseball games yesterday had the White Sox beating the Yankees, the Orioles beating the Blue Jays by a touchdown, the Nationals getting to .500 with a win over Philly, the Cubs topping the Mets, the Giants shutting out the D-backs, the Rockies falling to the Angels and the world champion Houston Astros getting some big action in the 8th to handle the Athletics and give themselves the slightest bit of breathing room. Full slate of games today, but nary a day game which is a shame.

Luminaries that were born on this date include: German philosopher Goethe, golden age cartoonist Jack Kirby, Canadian PM Paul Martin, drummer Daniel Seraphine, rocker Hugh Cornwell, underrated actor Luis Guzman, Chinese activist Ai Weiwei, Canadian singer Shania Twain, actor Jason Priestly, frog hockey player Pierre Turgeon, actor Jack Black, diversity hire Sheryl Sandberg, and singer LeAnn Rimes.

Its also the date on which Henry Hudson discovered Delaware Bay, the first American-built locomotive lost a race with a horse-drawn carriage, Wagner’s “Lohengrin” premiered, overrated British soldier Montgomery became the commander of the 3rd Infantry Division, Martin Luther King delivered his iconic “I have a dream” speech, the first Subway (“sandwich” shop”) opened, Israeli PM Menachem Begin announced his resignation, Mike Schmidt passed Ted Williams and Willie McCovey with 522 homers (but still wasn’t near the hitter Williams was), and Mitt Romney (then a woman-hating racist shitbag but now a statesman throwback to a better time for the GOP according to Team Blue) won the GOP presidential nomination.

OK, with the exception of a few events, this date seems to have sucked.  Oh well, on to…the links!

After cutting his teeth on the basics of grifting and self-promotion, the kid is moving on to the extortion game.  Pretty bold step. I see a political future for him.

Lanny Davis humiliates CNN for printing single-anonymously-sourced bullshit. Unsurprisingly, CNN are still maintaining that the story is legitimate.

I can’t possibly think of a better way to show your seriousness about extravagance and generally being out of touch with your parishioners. Way to go, Catholic Church. You really don’t give a shit anymore, do you?

I can’t tell if Roger Stone is serious or if he’s trying to jump on the gofundme bandwagon and set himself up with a nest egg. I don know he’s probably correct in guessing at Mueller’s strategy and motives though.

I hope more restaurants in the PNW take this serious step. Why? Because then with the supply flat and the demand lower, it’ll be cheaper for the rest of the world to enjoy one of the nautical world’s treats.

Hey Chicago, I’ve got a novel idea: let people open and concealed carry and these kind of things will be much less likely. Lol, just kidding. They’ll still happen as long as Indiana is so close. Note: this is not reportedly happening in Indiana.)

Sounds like people should have been doing a better job of knowing where their young kids were. I hope this asshole cooks if he’s guilty, but it brings a bigger point up: why do dumbass parents let their 13 year old daughter hang out alone with a grown man? Once practice or school are over, then its time to go home, sorry.  Also, he’s on leave with pay…on the Massholia taxpayer’s dime.

Man doesn’t get pony. Quits. Au revoir, grifter. Oh, by the way, the USA has cut more greenhouse gases as a percentage than any other nation…but we’re doing nothing.

I don’t know much country, so I’m gonna go with this band today even though I’m not what you’d call a fan of theirs.

Now go out there and make the most of this day, friends.

Before I give the scores from the weekend, I want to make a note here. I am not a fan of hie on-course antics and I don’t think he’s as good as Jack or Bobby Jones career-wise. But Tiger Woods understands how to answer a question about political figures. If only a lot more athletes, actors and entertainers felt this way, more people would enjoy their work without all the fucking social signaling and pandering that’s been deemed necessary by the mob.

Now on to scores: Of course ManUre plays Spurs this afternoon. Your other winners this weekend were: Arsenal (who finally have some points, lol), Leicester, Liverpool (who assumed the perch at the top of the PL table), Watford (who are level with Liverpool on points), Fulham, and Chelski (also level on points), draws for  Everton-Bournemouth, Huddersfield-Cardiff, and Wolves-Man City.  Yeah, that’s right…they drew with Wolverhampton.  Also of note, during one of the matches, the advertisement boards around the field said “VISIT RWANDA”.  Um, I don’t know who decided that was a good use of their money, but I’m not sure they should be keeping their job.

MLB winners yesterday were: Philly, Chicago (AL), Washington, who beat the Mets 15-0-ouch!, Atlanta, Tampa, Oakland, Milwaukee, Cleveland, Chicago (NL), St Louis, San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York (AL), Arizona and the world champion Houston Astros. 5 weeks left in the season and there are some good races going on. Enjoy.  Also, US Open starts today. Enjoy that, tennis fans.

Today we celebrate the birth of: Chemist Carl Bosch, automaker Charles Rolls, killer Ed Gein, mass-murderer Lyndon Baines Johnson, writer Ira Levin, jazzman Sonny Shamrock, the lovely Tuesday Weld, Bond girl Barbara Bach, fan-of-the-movies Pee-wee Herman, guitarist Alex Lifeson, ageless golfer Bernhard Langer, bassist Glen Matlock, designer Tom Ford, and flamboyant dog trainer Cesar Millan.

Its also the date on which: Napoleon defeated the Austrians at Dresden, Uruguay gained her independence, Mt Krakatoa erupted and killed 40,000, the shortest war in history took place with Britain defeating Zanzibar in 38 minutes, Christy Mathewson resigns as Reds manager to take Army commission in chemical warfare, the last Shah takes the throne in Iran, “Roman Holiday” hit the silver screen, the first “Guinness Book Of World Records” hit the shelves, Rickey Henderson broke the season steals record (1982), Moldova declared independence, and Barack Obama became the first black person to ever be nominated for President by a major party.

The historical events were mostly a bunch of “meh” today. But let’s see about…the links!

Who knew having kids could be such a pain in the ass. I mean, I know a lot of people who feel this way, albeit for different reasons.

The march to lionize John McCain continues apace, after it is announced he will lie in state in both Arizona and Washington DC. There are even talks of having his wife, a beer heiress who has never run for office, assume his seat.  You know, because the voice of the people doesn’t matter a fucking bit.

Meanwhile, Trump gets it right and people are flipping the fuck out. Well, he got it half-right. But I don’t think a statement saying “he was a war-mongering sociopath and bad pilot with a God complex and an outsized sense of self-worth” would have been appropriate (albeit correct) thing to say. At least not for a couple weeks anyway…after his “McCain Death Tour 2018” ends in Arlington.

Some psychopath shot up a video game tournament in a gun-free zone in Jacksonville, Florida yesterday. He killed two people and wounded 7 others. David Hogg and the rest of the anti-gun mob were quick to blame everybody…except the shooter.

Lanny Davis, Michael Cohen’s personal attorney, has backed away from claims that he earlier made when he said Donald Trump was aware of the reasons for there Trump Tower meeting between Russian nationals (who were curiously given a visa for no apparent reason by the AG or someone in her inner circle) and Trump’s son.

Side note of hilarity: CNN are saying they stand behind the story even though Davis was the sole source for it.

Ah, Chicago. Where else is it acceptable for a mayoral candidate to publicly attempt to buy votes? I mean, I guess there are other places. But they’re usually consider tin-pot dictators-……oh, ooooooooh! I get it now.

Pope Francis has finally found a subject he doesn’t have a hot take on. Big surprise there.  I’ve seen a lot of people calling for his resignation and saying the Church needs a new pope. I’m starting to think they need a very real reformation.

As North Carolina legislators try to claw back some of their power, the governor bristles. If only our federal elected officials would have preserved some of their rights and responsibilities over the last 100 years, we wouldn’t have agencies running amok.

A three track extravaganza today! And we’re gonna move backwards… First, an ode to suburban sprawl. An underplayed second track. And the links (obviously) end with this track.

Enjoy the day, friends.

Yay!  Its not only the end of the week, its the end of the first school week of the year.  Looks like Reason made it through without dropping any f-bombs or telling someone they shit their pants when they farted. And that, my friends, is a good thing. You know what else is a good thing? The US Open starts this coming week! I’m not making any picks because tennis is a crazy, unpredictable sport right now. But if I had my wish, I’d have Djoker win the mens and Venus win the ladies.  I’ve always liked Venus. She’s been classy her entire career while her sister became an absolute asshole. I’d love to see her win one last major.

Well we can delve into that extreme unlikelihood next week. Until then, we’ve got baseball! Philly beat Washington, Boston blanked Cleveland, Detroit dumped Chicago (AL), the Rockies beat the Padres, Los Gigantes topped New York (NL), the Braves shut out the Marlins, the Rays stung the Royals, Chicago (NL) beat Cincinnati, and the MINNESOOOOOOODA TWIIIIIIIIINS!!!!! helped the idle Astros by dropping the Athletics.

The EPL games of note this weekend (to the libs that have cared to announce their allegiance and that I can remember) are Arsenal-West Ham, Man Ure-Tottenham, Liverpool-Brighton, Bournemouth-Everton and Man  Shitty-Wolves. If I missed your team, let me know and I’ll be sure to include them. Until then, YNWA.

Let’s see who was born on this date, shall we?  Abolitionist William Wilberforce shares it with mobster Carlo Gambino, writer Howard Zinn, terrorist and grifter Yasser Arafat, midget actor and everyone’s favorite droid Kenny Baker, guitarist David Freiberg, keyboardist Ken Hensley, entertainer-extraordinaire Vince McMahon, NFL’s Mike Shanahan, singer Danny Joe Brown, rapidly-expanding fat man Mike Huckabee, actor Stephen Fry, American treasure Steve Guttenberg, Ironman Cal Ripken Jr., bassist Mark Bedford, deaf actress Marlee Matlin, basketball-playing shit-talker Reggie Miller, ginger doofus Rupert Grint and the hilarious Dave Chappelle.

Its also the day Mt Vesuvius erupted and killed 15,000 people, the Visigoths sacked Rome and ushered in the fall of the western Roman Empire, the pope declared the Magna Carta invalid (suck it, your holiness!), Charlotte Bronte finished “Jane Eyre”, Thomas Edison patented the motion picture camera, Alaska officially became a territory, Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across the continent, “Rock n Roll High School” hit theaters, Gorbachev left the Communist Party, Windows 95 hit the shelves, Jerry Rice (one of the best receivers of all time) retired from football, and Steve Jobs resigned as Apple CEO.

I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna grab some popcorn and watch this shitshow unravel like Roy Hobbs’s first major league hit.  How long before the shareholders are demanding his resignation or begging the government for a huge bailout?  I give it through December at the latest.

I avoid linking Breitbart, but since none of the major media outlets give a shit about this important story, I guess I’ll have to.  Hey, free association is great and all, but at what point do we start dropping the hammer on pricks like Morris Dees and his slush-fund SPLC whose influence certainly outweighs their integrity? And I mean legally through defamation lawsuits, not through government action.

“Move along. There’s nothing to see here!” – South African government replies to Trump’s tweets asking our government to look into land expropriation and murders of white farmers in South Africa.  I just hope we keep our troops out of the circus. If they want to follow the Zimbabwe model and starve to death, I just hope the innocent get out of there before it happens.

Berkeley councilman thinks he’s honey badger. But at least he had the decency to expose the corruption in police contracts being voted on by elected officials (whose campaigns the police unions fund, by the way). I’m sure he will face no backlash at all though, unless he promotes free speech in that shithole town.

More money-wasting jackassery by Chicago’s government exposed. I wonder how many of those funeral homes are owned by politically-connected people? My guess is: all of them.

Curfews are meant to keep kids safe. Its dangerous to be out after them. See what I mean?

So much for conscience and religious tolerance. If you do not bow to the rules of the state, you will not be able to do good works. What a shame.

I feel like I’m doing this every time I drop Reason off at kindergarten.

Go have a good day and a great weekend, friends!

Hoo-boy. A three game suspension for Meyer.  I guess I can live with that, but the media talking heads sure can’t. They wanted a pound of flesh and this just won’t do. How dare he cover up…what exactly? Sorry, assholes. This is becoming an exercise in who can out-social signal each other and has zero to do with investigating domestic violence (which the Powell PD did on over 60 calls in a 90 day stretch and found absolutely nothing to substantiate the claims, and even her mother said none happened).  Well go suck an egg, assholes. When you’re banging out hot takes to your hundreds of moon-faced followers hoping your paper or website stays afloat long enough for you to keep getting paychecks, Urban will be winning football games and making 30x what you are to do it and stadiums full of people will cheer him on and won’t even recognize you as you stroll the concourses at halftime.

I’m sorry, I went off on a tangent there. Let’s get some sports scores going, shall we?  Toronto beat Baltimore (poor Baltimore), Chicago topped Minnesota, Milwaukee blanked the Reds, Texas took out Oakland, the world champion Houston Astros beat Seattle, Washington squeaked past Philly, Atlanta scalped Pittsburgh, Boston finally figured out Cleveland, the Cubs mauled Detroit, the Mets cut down the Giants, the Marlins cruised past the Yankees, the Rays stung the Royals, the Rockies topped the Padres, the Diamondbacks stung the Angels, and the Cardinals beat the Dodgers. The NL divisions and wild card are super tight, while the only race in the AL anymore is the west and second wild card.  a little more than 30 games left per team…should be fun.

Just in case you were wondering what famous people were born on this date, wonder no more. We have Charles Martel, headless Louis XVI, dancer and actor Gene Kelly, jazzman Bob Crosby, actresses Vera Miles and Barbara Eden, (one of the greatest) drummer(s of all time) Keith Moon, college athlete Rudy Ruettiger, singer Rick Springfield, “Night Shift” actress Shelley Long, Jordanian Queen Noor, the ageless Julio Franco, drug aficionado River Phoenix, funny man Jay Mohr, convicted pederast Jared Fogle, and wingman to Shaq Kobe Bryant.

Also happening on this date: William Wallace was executed, Calvinists were granted rights in Holland (but it was going to happen anyway), the American Methodist Episcopal church was founded, Ghandi was released from jail after a hunger strike, “You Cant Take It With You” hit theaters, the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact was signed (for what it was worth), “The Big Sleep” also hit the silver screen, the first C-130 hit the skies, Armenia declared independence, Osama bin Asshole issued a fatwa against the United States, Quadafi was overthrown thanks to the CIA going back on our word, and the first twitter hashtag was used (God help us all).

Man, that was slim pickings. Oh well, its quality not quantity. And with that, on to…the links!

I know how they feel in Hawaii. If there are any Glibs out there on one of the islands, stay safe.

Even if he does this just to piss people off, its probably a bad idea to pardon Paul Manafort. Especially since he’s yet to go to trial for the other laundry list of charges against him, the optics are terrible.

What an asshole. And a shitty terrorist too. You’re supposed to kill infidels, not your relatives. Jesus, you can’t even Islamo-terrorism right anymore, ISIS followers. Get your shit together or we’ll have to start referring to you as the JV again.

Victim of alleged Asia Argento sexual assault speaks out. Calls out hypocrisy of Argento and speaks about his shame of being stigmatized as a male victim. I know some of you think this is a money grab, but seriously, the dude kept quiet the entire time until he was outed and if whats alleged in the settlement is true, she did effectively pull a Cosby on him.  I’d like to see the police handle it at this point.

Chicago finds a way to piss away even more money on pensions. That’s ok…they can just tax the producers more and more until they all move away.  Then they can become Detroit.

More calls for immigration reform in the wake of Mollie Tibbetts murder allegedly carried out by an illegal immigrant. According to some talking heads, she’s just “some girl in Iowa”. Yeah, that’s gonna sell.

Police bust Spanish ring of endangered turtle sellers. The best part: they’re actually raising the turtles to sell and are probably getting a better survival rate than the dumbass environmentalists out there destroying property values and property rights in order to “save” them.

First of three tracks. Because this man was a God. And because I reserve the right to do what I want from time to time.

Go out there and enjoy your day, dear friends.

While (most of) you were sleeping, the Astros managed to win a game and hang on to a share of the AL West lead in the process since the A’s did likewise.  I don’t know how it came to this, but injuries can’t be blamed nearly as much as a dreadful bullpen can.  I’m starting to watch the Mariners as much as the A’s now and see how we’re looking in the second wild card slot.  Your other winners yesterday were: Washington, Atlanta, Toronto (poor Balmer), Cleveland, Detroit, New York (NL), New York (AL), Cincinnati, Minnesota, San Diego, Arizona, and St Louis.

In college football news, Jimbo Fisher has some kid lob a bunch of accusations at him and is given a chance to respond (after the story was printed, of course) but declines to. Most of the complaints sound like a kid who doesn’t want to work hard anymore. A couple are a bit more serious, but we should remember that we’re only getting to hear one side of the story before the “investigation” is done and should take them with a grain of salt.  Meanwhile, Ohio State’s Board of Trustees will meet this morning to discuss the Zach and Courtney Smith saga and the role Urban Meyer played in it.  Rumors are swirling, with most people saying he will receive at most a short suspension. I guess we’ll all know some time today (after refreshing our google search of “Urban Meyer” every two minutes) when it finally breaks.  But if they fire him, you’re gonna have a lot of pissed off fans, boosters students, players, coaches and anyone who respects journalistic integrity and a right to respond before a story is published (and stealth edited a dozen times without note).  And fuck Brett mcMurphy for essentially using a scorned woman to advance his career. He’s ruining the lives of her children in an attempt to settle a score with Meyer, and its disgusting.  Also, fuck hypocrites like Clay Travis and Doug Gottlieb for being the way they are.

Frog composer Claude Debussy was born on this date. He shares it with: American chemist and founder of GE research lab Willis Rodney Whitney, Crazy Kat cartoonist George Herriman, author Dorothy Parker, filmmaker Leni Riefenstahl, Sociopathic communist Deng Xiaoping, blues master John Lee Hooker, brilliant author Ray Bradbury, “Stormin’” Norman Schwarzkopf, Red Sock Cary Yastrzemski, football coach Bill Parcells, felon Scooter Libby, Brewer/Blue Jay/Twin Paul Molitor, musicians Vernon Reid, Juan Croucier, Debbi Peterson, and Tori Amos, tennis legend Mats Wilander, television’s Giada De Laurentiis, actress Kristin Wiig, and Wu-Tang Clan member GZA.

Its also the date on which James Cook landed in Australia, the HMS Resolution returned to England (without Cook), the US annexed New Mexico, Gandhi formed the NIC, Cadillac was founded, J Edgar Hoover was named assistant director of the FBI (but didn’t wear a dress to the ceremony), the Beatles arrived in New York for the first time, the last VW Rabbit rolled off the assembly line, “Stand By Me” was released, Nolan Ryan recorded his 5000th strike out (Rickey Henderson), and FBI sniper Lon Horiuchi murdered Vicki Weaver in Idaho.

That’s it for all that. Now…the links!

Michael Cohen pleaded guilty to a slew of crimes, including campaign finance laws and later accused Trump of ordering him to pay Stormy Daniels off.  Because somehow a mutually-agreed-upon NDA is illegal in this day and age even if you use your own money.

Elsewhere, Paul Manafort was found guilty on 8 of the 18 charges he faced, with a mistrial being declared in the other ten cases. I guess he’ll be trading the ostrich vest for an orange jumpsuit.  I just wonder if he will finally be let out of 24 hour solitary confinement now that he’s been convicted of the horribly dangerous crime of bank fraud.

Rose McGowan under fire for being a hypocrite. What a shame she decided to go and become a nutcase. She was pretty hot at one time.

And in “even a blind hog finds an acorn once in a while” news, it looks like the California government is going to do something right for a change.  Good for them. I hope this catches on quickly and we get some real bail system reform across the country.

Chicago police chief gets it wrong again. Well, mostly wrong. Maybe he needs to find a mirror or a look at the amount of money his department has cost the city in excessive force and wrongful death suits over the past decade. Or the reports of his black hole jails people get thrown into and disappear.

The Mollie Tibbetts case reached a grisly and sad ending. Now we can move on to the finger-pointing about the killer being an illegal immigrant (true), about the fact that he worked for a prominent republican family (true) and about how nobody cares about shit like this unless its a pretty white girl (not true), and all the other people out there who will climb on her dead body for their own selfish bullshit (without a doubt).

And in news that everyone who thinks about race first will be interested in, Idris Elba announces that he will NOT be the next James Bond. I hear that matters to a lot of people. I’m sure we will get a lot of hot takes throughout the day on it, although I won’t care because I’m completely absorbed in my work (and the Urban Meyer situation, obviously).

No, I most definitely did not go with Tori Amos. She does nothing for me. Instead, rock on!

That’s it. (except to say “Free Urban!”)  Go have a great day, friends!

Well my daughter didn’t get sent home from school yesterday. So that’s good. And her teacher had a lot more energy and excitement about her when we dropped her off, which is also good. So my hopes are improving…unlike Orioles fans, whose hopes for avoiding a 110-loss season keep taking hits. They lost to the Blue Jays last night.  Other winners were: Atlanta, Cleveland, Chicago (AL), San Francisco, Tampa, Milwaukee, Oakland, and St Louis.  And Liverpool beat Crystal Palace 2-0, although the penalty called for the first goal was admittedly weak.

The birthdays we celebrate on this date include: gangster Bugsy Moran, band leader Count Basie, animator Friz Freling, hockey legend Toe Blake, (better than his son-)sportscaster Jack Buck, sex-master and top five basketball players of all time Wilt Chamberlain, country musician Kenny Rogers, the late, great genius Joe Strummer, bassist Glenn Hughes, drummer Steve Smith,actress Kim Cattrall, French cartoonist Stephane Charbonnier, billionaire Sergey Brin, killer Amy Fisher and world’s fastest man Usain Bolt.

Its also the day on which: the Mongol civil war ended at Xanadu, Nat Turner led a slave uprising, the Venetian blind was patented, William S Burroughs patented the adding machine, Babe Ruth hit his 600th home run, “Bambi” hit theaters, Hawaii joined the union, Romania adopted their constitution, Rollie Fingers became the first pitcher to record 300 saves, Latvia declared independence from the Soviet Union and Randy Weaver’s son was murdered by FBI agents.

Now to…the links!

Ever the attention whore, Madonna goes full asshole during the MTV Music Awards tribute to Aretha Franklin.  There was some other social signaling, as expected. But I only know because I read it this morning. Its not like I wasted my time watching that festival of the absurd.

Looks like the left have returned to one of their standards: destruction of property rather than a reasoned debate. The statue, erected 105 years ago, was pulled down as police stood idly by and allowed the mob to do what mobs do. But I’m sure these asshats will quit when thy get what they want and it won’t spiral out of control…like its done throughout history.

A portrait of the artist asshole as a young man. (With apologies to James Joyce.)  This sociopath is in for a long and unhappy life unless he unscrews his head from his sphincter. Because eventually the media will get tired of him and then he’ll just be another douchebag with delusions of grandeur who probably resorts to strangling puppies as he slides further into mental illness.

Yeah, it might be hypocrisy, but Harvey Weinstein still might want to sit this one out. I mean…yeah, he might want to sit this one out.

Looks like the Almeda County (CA) Sheriff’s Office has some explaining to do.  Just kidding. The taxpayers will foot the bill for this and nobody will get much more than a few free weeks of paid vacation and overtime to supplement their income as they rotate through “training”.

Yeah, I’m wondering who the fuck thought this was a good idea. I’m hoping their explanation of their HR Dept being hacked is accurate, because if not, they may as well start shuttering the building because they aren’t going to be in business very long.

I applaud these officers for their restraint.  No, seriously. I do.  This could have ended in bloodshed and miraculously it didn’t.

In their defense, they’re probably really tired after beating up teenagers all night. Or all day. I’m not sure what shift they were working. A police spokesman said “Officers will face discipline”. Yeah, I’m sure they will.

States move to put the genie back in the bottle. Best of luck with that, dickheads.  We’ve got it published here. Feel free to send me a cease and desist.

One song won’t do today.  Because this guy was so diverse.  So I played three. And I’m sad I never got to see them live.

Go have a great day, friends.

Its back to school day at the Sloopy household.  And that means Baby Reason goes to kindergarten today.  Should be a tearful affair…for her teacher. But if that lady’s level of enthusiasm from meet the teacher night is any indication, the woman will probably sleep through half the year.

Speaking of sleeping through the year, the Orioles got shut out by the Indians last night. They’re on pace to lose over 110 games this year.  Yikes.  Besides the Indians, the other winners were: Tampa Bay, New York (AL), Cincinnati, Colorado, Miami, Pittsburgh, Chicago (AL), Milwaukee, Texas, Los Angeles, New York (NL), Arizona and the world champion Houston Astros, who regained sole possession of first place in the AL West after blowing their huge lead.

Across the pond, your EPL results were: Cardiff and Newcastle tied, Everton won, Leicester won, Tottenham won, Bournemouth won, Chelsea beat Arsenal, Watford won, Man With annihilated Huddersfield 6-1, and Brighton humiliated Man United 3-2 in a game that was nowhere near as close as the scoreline.  Liverpool play Crystal Palace today.

If you were born on this date, then you share it with Antarctica discoverer Fabian Gottlieb von Bellinghausen, Naval genius Oliver Hazard Perry, president Benjamin Harrison, author H.P. Lovecraft, Italian Salvatore Quasimodo, boxing- and self-promoter Don King, musician Sneaky Pete Kleinow, libeetarian-ish politician Ron Paul, Serbian strongman Slobodan Milosevic, smooth-voiced Isaac Hayes,  vocalist Robert Plant, rocker Paul Lynette, once-fat weatherman Al Roker, rapper KRS-One, “singer” Fred Durst, lovely actress Amy Adams, and whack-job Demi Lovato.

Its also the date on which the following happened: Hungary was established, the Civil War was officially declared over, Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture opened in Moscow, the dial telephone was patented, East Germany began erecting a physical wall, LBJ signed the shitty Economic Opportunity Act into law, and NASA launched Voyager 2.

Lots of musicians born on this date, that’s for sure.  Well anyway, here come…the links.

Harvey Weinstein accuser and ex- of Anthony Bourdain has some explaining of her own to do. She’s the first to end up on both sides of the #metoo circus.

Wait, three of them at a peace picnic, no less? Did somebody misspell it on the flyer and people thought it was a “bring your piece” picnic? What a train wreck of a city.

Al Sharpton is a colossal dumbass. I’m sorry, I mean he’s a D-U-M-M-A-S-S!

This is what happens when you let electric companies and state governments set up monopolies. Congratulations, Virginia. You got taken for a ride for your own protest.

Wow, talk about being a deep sleeper.  Also, “faces life in prison”… that can’t be right, can it?  Either way, he’s gonna be deported as soon as he serves his time.  Anyway, weirdness all around.

Even if they didn’t pull the trigger, why did the cops feel the need to “question” the person at all? Sounds like he was minding his pwn business.  And anybody in that city that doesn’t arm themselves is a fool.

Former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen under investigation for $20m bank fraud. I wonder if the case they present will be as leaky as the one against Paul Manafort?

And here’s a heartwarming story I hope we get to see a lot more of in the coming months and years.

Today wasn’t an easy day to choose a song. And it could be debated I even chose the right person. But there you go.

Now go out there and have a great day. I’m gonna walk my daughter to school for the first time…and probably get a little weepy.