Author: sloopyinca

Yay, its Wednesday!!! That means…shit, that means nothing. Its just another day. Well, today anyway, not historically. This date was a historical nightmare for the Europeans, seeing as it was the day the Reichstag gave Hitler absolute power and was also the day Franco captured Madrid to end the Spanish Civil War.  Not to mention it was the birthday for hipsters’ favorite brewer, Frederick Pabst, Simpson’s theme-writer Alf Clausen, underhand-freethrow-shooter Rick Barry, Filipino strongman Rodrigo Duterte, Salt (of Salt-n-Pepa), noted libertarian Vince Vaughn, and post-deserting piece of shit Bowe Bergdahl.

Oh yeah, some sporting stuff happened yesterday. In International tune ups, the Frogs went through Russia better than Napoleon did. The Suisse split Panama in two. Brazil got a little revenge over the Krauts (although its little solace after the blitzkrieg the Germans put on them at home 4 years ago). The Limeys drew the Cops. And the Spanish ran roughshod over Argentina in what has to feel worse for the South Americans than the Peron years.

On the ice, the Devils, Islanders, Dead Wings, Blues, J-E-T-S, Blue Jackets, Canucks, Stars and Predators (over the MINNESOOOOODA WIIIIIILD) were your winners as the playoffs inch ever closer. In those races, the Panthers, Devils and Flyers are fighting for the two spots in the Wales Conference. While the Campbell is pretty much a four team scramble between the Kings, Blues, Ducks and Avalanche for the final 3 spots (with a little goofiness thrown in depending on divisional placement). Only 5-7 games to go, guys! Then the real fun begins.

Did you get all that?  I hope so, because I’m already moving on to…the links!

Toronto restauranteur doing God’s work. Not only is he helping cull the population of hate birds, the birds that hate, but he’s riling up the militant vegan dickbags who are trying to shut him down.  Looks like he’s figured out that all you have to do is get their heart rate above 120 for five minutes and they’ll be forced to retire from lack of energy.

Facebook stock continues its rapid slide as Zuckerberg “agrees” to testify before Congress. I, for one, hope it continues to drop as their self-righteous bullshit is finally exposed for what it is: a scheme to mine personal data for profit. And to be clear, I’m all for what they’re doing in that respect. But they’re passing themselves off as some wholesome guardian of liberty (they’re selective in who they block) and a check against tyranny (ask some Chinese FB users if that’s true) rather than the naked capitalists they are (and should be proud of). And that’s some pretty weak shit.

I haven’t seen such shit come out of the Dodgers dugout since the first two innings of game 7 of last year’s World Series. Yeah, I said it. Whatchagonna do? THE ASTROS ARE WORLD CHAMPS and I compared a sewage leak to the Dodgers WS finale performance.

Way to go, Stanford!!!!! No, seriously. This is about the best news imaginable.

There’s a pair of interesting twists to this story of a (D) Massachusetts politician getting blitzed and driving (most of the way) home.. 1: He actually got a ticket even after he told the cop he was one of the King’s men. and 2: he isn’t related to the Kennedy clan.  Which, now that I think about it, if he was a Kennedy, then 1 never would have happened. Not even if he had literally drove off a bridge and left a dead chick in his car.

Good! A man has a right to defend his property.  I hope this is the last we hear of this episode.

The video this person made makes no fucking sense whatsoever!!!!! But the song is still awesome.

Have a great day out there.

Man, I wish I hadn’t have been unexpectedly tied up yesterday.

I could have shared my glee at Duke getting bounced by Kansas. Alas, I had work to do to get ready for an auction next Thursday where I’ll be selling nearly 5000 cubicles and offices.  Yeah, 5000 of them.  Oh yeah, and a chair custom built for an enormously fat person.  Seriously. It has 8 legs and casters and is big enough for the three-headed knight from Monty Python to sit on for his tea and biscuits. Have a look:

Anyway, if you need any cubicles, office sets, conference rooms, training center setups or the like, let me know. Its safe to say I have plenty of them.  Ooh, and the proceeds, less my cut, are going to Habitat For Humanity. Which is pretty nice of the good people at TD Ameritrade, I have to say.

Nine games on the ice yesterday. The Sabres dumped the Leafs. The Panthers blanked the Islanders. The Hurricanes beat the Senators. The Caps doubled up the Rangers. The Dead Wings lost (again) to Les Canadiens. The feeble Coyotes actually beat thew Lightning. Army/Vegas pounded the Avalanche. The Kings blanked the Flames. And the Blackhawks continued their losing ways, this time falling in OT to the Sharks. Sorry Swissy.

Oh yeah, and speaking of ice, the Frozen 4 is headed to the Twin Cities next weekend. Or is it the Big Ten Tournament 2: Electric Boogaloo?  Meh, pretty much the same thing.  The Buckeyes will face Minnesoooooda-Duluth in one semifinal and the winner will play the winner of the Michigan-Notre Dame game for all the marbles. Well done, boys.

In soccer friendlies, the Checks beat the Chinks. And the Dutch drilled Portugal. But the big games are today, as the Limeys and the Cops face off and the Krauts try to wax the Brazilians, among other matchups.

That’s all I’ve got for sports.  I’d like to make note that today is the birthday of race-car driver Cale Yarborough, violent-filmmaker Quentin Tarantino and pants-pisser Fergie. And now I can move on to…the links!

Some son of a bitch is running for student government president at the University of Michigan. LOL, a fucking therapy dog.  Jesus, when we needed therapy for our stress, we found a 12 pack of Natty Light or a friend to shoot the shit with.

Hey, where was this asshole when the last census (under Obama) asked all kinds of invasive questions and even threatened to have people jailed for not answering them? Meh, I’d be fine with a compromise that had a census form with one simple question: how many citizens and permanent resident aliens reside at this address?  Sorry, but I don’t think people here illegally, visiting temporarily, foreign students or vacationers should be counted for representation.

A restraining order seems over the top. Just sue the asshole for lost revenue and have him charged for assaulting a customer and trespassing.

Anybody know who some dude named “Chance The Rapper” is?  My son said he’s pretty popular.  I’ve never heard of him until he recently decided to stick his head up his own asshole.

Damn, dude. there’s gotta be an easier way to get and keep chicks than this. Although its probably safe to say those days are over for Mr Raniere.

Perhaps we should shelve the tech for car batteries for a while. Its time we invest in better body cam battery technology or just abandon the pretense that they’re there to make sure the truth comes out. Because the excuses are getting ridiculous.

That’s all I’ve got. Except for this bit of genius.

Now go have a great day!

Ten games on the ice yesterday.  Tampa Bay outlasted the Islanders. The Panthers topped the Rangers.  Bloe Jackets blanked the Panthers. Hurricanes dumped the woeful Coyotes. Caps beat the Dead Wings. Oilers greased the Senators. Maple Leafs drilled the Predators. Canucks beat the Crackhawks. San Jose beat Army/Vegas. and The Kangz annihilated the Avalanche. Well done, all.  But when are the MINNESOOOOOOOODA WIIIIIIIILD playing again, dammit?

OK, now to basketball. This shit is getting out of hand.  Loyola-Illinois won again too advance to the Final 8. They held off a furious Nevada rally to close the game out and advance as an 11 seed.  Joining them were Michigan, the lone higher seed to win yesterday who thumped aTm, Kansas State, a 9-seed who dumped blue-blood Kentucky, and Brett L’s very own 9-seed Florida State Seminoles. who took the perennial media darling Gonzaga behind the woodshed. So we have two 9’s and an 11 in the Final (I won’t call it “Elite” because that has always sounded stupid and was designed to sell more shit) 8. The only high seed remaining in the other sessions tonight is Syracuse. And I know I’ll be praying for them to take out that rat-faced cretin and his Dookies.  Why? If you have to ask then you will never understand.

Texas native Joan Crawford was born on this day. As was the genius Akira Kurosawa. rocket scientist Werner von Braun, crackshot Vasily Zaitsev, mother of a Monkee and savior of typists everywhere Bette Nesmith Graham, the fleet-footed Roger Bannister (who recently died), recently-fired-while-taking-a-dump Rex Tillerson, singer Chaka Khan, fat annoying guy Louie Anderson, cager Moses Malone, “brilliant” “actor” Richard Greico, professional troll Perez Hilton and superstar runner Mo Farah. There were others, but I realized the list was getting long.

That’s it for trivia and sports. Now its time for…the links!

She’s a keeper! You’ll never guess what state she’s from.

You want to know how you end up with “Trail Of Tears II: Electric Boogaloo”?  Try pulling some shit like this on me. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with the court system? Fortunately it looks like its being reversed by the Indian court, but that doesn’t mean the idiots at Miami-Dade don’t have some serious-ass questions to answer.

Murder and hostage situation developing in France.  According to CNN and MSNBC, the motive of the attacker may never be known.

House Committee looking into collusion claims all but accuses James Clapper of committing perjury. Also find no collision between Trump campaign and Russian government but found a systemic effort to stymie Trump officials from effectively transitioning.  CNN had a steaming hot take on it, even calling in the aforementioned Clapper to give his opinion while never noting that he was directly called out for misleading statements under oath. But I’m sure that was in the original story and just got edited for brevity.

The Senate passed possibly the worst spending bill it could have even considered. Thanks a lot, assholes.

A pot calls a kettle black.

And finally, in case any of you were considering picking up a meth habit, look at these photos before you pick up that pipe. Is that how meth is done anyway? Or is it snorted? For some reason I assumed it was smoked like crack. Huh, I’m sure somebody will explain it to me in the comments.

Here you go.

Have a great Friday and a better weekend, friends.

Fuck, its only Thursday.  I swear to God the way this week is moving it feels like Tuesday.  Next Tuesday. But here we are… on Thursday March 22nd: the birthday of subtle genius Chico Marx, underrated Karl Malden, (favorite of Drake) Werner Klemperer, USA Today founder and contributor to the dumbing down of America Al Neuharth, idiot Pat Robertson,  William fucking Shatner, Orrin freaking Hatch, scourge of juicers Dick Pound, Andrew Lloyd Webber, dipshit-extraordinaire Wolf Blitzer, chin-strong Reese Witherspoon, and local philanthropist and part-time football stud JJ Watt.

As you can see, the sports update is a little thin, what with the international soccer break meaning no midweek games, no CBB until tonight and a small slate of hockey games, the results of which are as follows: Pittsburgh beat Montreal (and Sidney Crosby apparently scored a sick goal but I can’t be arsed to find a video of it because ESPN sucks ass. Arizona beat Buffalo in a preview of teams that won’t care until next season (at the earliest). St Louis topped Boston in a game both teams desperately wanted to win for playoff purposes. And the Anaheim Mighty Ducks blanked the Calgary Flames.

That’s pretty much all I’ve got for sports. Which leaves room for a bit of a rant.

Can somebody, since the writer/director is dead, please fucking explain to me why four of the five kids in The Breakfast Club were driven there by their parents?  They’re all seniors, obviously. Claire is ridiculously wealthy and her dad wasn’t mad at her at all when he dropped her off. Andrew’s a star jock, whose dad wasn’t really mad at him for what he did per se, only that he got caught. Allison’s parents don’t give a shit about her at all but they drive her too.

And its not like she’s poor. They’re driving a new Cadillac!

Okay, I can see Brian’s mom taking him because she comes across as a hectoring asshole. And obviously Bender walked because he’s poor and his parents don’t give a fuck about him.  But at least three of them getting dropped off, at 7 am on a Saturday no less, doesn’t make any sense.  Thanks a lot, John Fucking Hughes.

Anyway, here are…the links!

Unless you’ve got access to some Farrakhan archives or David Duke’s pen pal letters, this will probably be the most vile, racist thing you will read all day. Its certainly ::dons sunglasses;; beyond the pale.

The Trudeau Age gets more absurd by the day. “Man, woman? They’re just words. We’re all the same, dude person. We’re all the same.” In the words of Mr Slave: Jesus Christ.

I can’t wait to see the ballistics report on this circle jerk. Also, aren’t handguns illegal there?  I thought that meant this kind of thing could never…..oh wait, let me guess: its because anybody can just drive to (enter name of neighboring state or Indiana) and get a gun from a gas station without an ID.

A brutal, yet sad, assessment on Chicago politics and Election Day fallout. Asked to comment on the election results, several Chicago voters exclaimed “thank you sir, may I have another!”

Trump responds to Joe Biden the way Trump responds to everybody. If you’re on Twitter or plan on watching the news today, get some popcorn and prepare to see a lot of people with the vapors. As for me? I’ll get the jiffy pop out as soon as I stop laughing.

You know, there’s a really easy way for the public to decide what really happened here: Just release the damn video. I know, I know. That’s crazy talk.  Well call me crazy then.

That’s it. Other than this entirely predictable selection.

Have a great day!

::walks across football field…raises fist::

Well, today’s the last day to take a deep breath and get ready for the Sweet 16 games. And I don’t care if you use a rosary, some beads, put on a yarmulke or lay face-down on a rug, I need your prayers. So take a moment right now, assume your position or don your prayerwear or do whatever you need and let’s all say in unison: “Dear _______ (God, Allah, Yahweh, Buddha, Odin, FSM, some 32-armed dude with a elephant head), please share your grace with the world. Please, ________, deliver us from the scourge that is the Blue Devils. Place your loving hand on the bald dome of Jimmy Boeheim, whom you’ve already blessed with a wife that’s too hot for him by a mile, and give him the strength to overcome Coach K’s incessant playing of the officials and getting calls nobody else gets. And though he asks for forgiveness for being a dirty punk, please hold off on granting it to Grayson Allen lest he decide to trip again.  In your name. Amen.”

I sure hope that works. I’m not sure the world can suffer another Duke win. ::Sigh::

Bunches of games on the ice last night. The results were: Islanders over the Penguins, Blue Jackets over Rangers. Oilers topped the Hurricanes, the Capitals beat the Stars, the Panthers topped the Senators, the Red Wings were better than the Flyers, The Lightning outlasted the Maple Leafs, the Jets beat the Kangz, Army/Vegas took down the Canucks, the Sharks blasted the Debbils, and the Blackhawks reached a new low in getting thumped by the Avalanche. Sorry, Swissy.

I got nothing else in sports. There are some slow weeks, and it’ll get worse before it gets better next week as we are still short of the playoffs and baseball will still not have started and the CBB final four starts too late in the week to really talk about much.  I’ll figure something out.  But until then, let’s focus on…the links!

It looks like the Austin bomber has killed himself as the cops closed in. Dude must have wanted to get caught. There’s no other explanation for his change in M.O. and going to a Fedex store to drop his packages off. Well, good riddance, asshole. Which means its time for the other assholes out there to ascribe motive, collectivize guilt and start sticking their hands out for donations/government handouts to various grievance groups. I hope I am able to tune that part of the circus out.

NOAA! NOAA! You got some splainin to do. LOL, JK. They won’t have to explain shit. Their cultists will still believe whatever they say, regardless of the fact that virtually all of their science is based on made-up bullshit. You know, at least those of us who believe in God are honest enough to call our beliefs a religion that’s faith-based.  These assholes try to pass their faith off as science.

Damn, dude. Next time take a friend or two. Seriously, that’s one tough son of a bitch. But still…get some friends and take them with you next time.

Pritzker defeated Kennedy (yes, another one. They’re like mushrooms.) in the Illinois Democrat primary for the governor’s race. And it has caused an amazing level of butthurt by Kennedy supporters sycophants.  Seriously, Pritzker is an odious creature that probably conspired with Blago to sell the Obama seat. But that’s part and parcel of Chicagoland politics.  Perhaps Kennedy needs to take a page out of the family playbook and go on a drug-fueled bender or two, perhaps with a serious accident thrown in the mix, and then run for office as a story of redemption and overcoming adversity. Seems to work for his generation of that corrupt family.

I can’t think of a better way for the government to collect delinquent taxes than to shut the business down that owes them ahead of what could be an exceptionally busy (and revenue-generating) time. Bravo, IRS…you dumbshits.

Rumors abound as to where the Trump-Kim summit will be held. Will they pick a neutral country? the DMZ? One of the nations’ capitals? A warship? Nobody knows. (::Whispers to self: Please be Russia. Please be Russia. Please be Russia.::)

For our under-appreciated Canadian friends. Pour nos amis canadiens sous-estimés.

Have a wonderful middle of the week!

I just want to start off by saying that I enjoy deep dish. Hell, I will go out of my way to find it today (Geno’s) and have some.  But I ain’t calling it pizza because its not.  Just as Dr Pepper isn’t a cola and Bruce Jenner isn’t a woman. Sorry, some things are truths.

Hey look! There’s still sports going on even after the armageddon-like weekend of college basketball.  Of course, if you wanted me to give recaps on the Women’s NCAA Tournament, you’re about to be disappointed. But if you were hoping for a down-the-stretch hockey update, then you’re in luck! There were five games on the slate last night. The Blue Jackets topped the Bruins in OT. The Predators blanked the Sabres. The Kings topped the MINNESOOOOOODA WIIIIIIIIILD!!!! in OT as well. The Panthers dumped Les Canadiens. And the Flames were doused by the woeful Coyotes.

So let’s take a look at the standings, shall we? In the Wales Conference, Tampa Bay has locked up a playoff spot and has a 3 pt lead over Boston but has played an extra game.  They’re trailed by the Maple Leafs. The Washington Capitals lead their division, with the Pens and Flyers close on their heels. Not that it’ll matter come playoff time when they lose to a lower seed. And the Wild Card race is pretty hot even though it only contains three teams. Currently, the Blue Jackets and Devils hold the two spots with the Panthers 3 its back of the Devils but with two extra games to play. Everybody else is pretty much playing out the string and the Red Wings, losers of 10 in a row, will soon join the Sabres as mathematically unable to make the playoffs.

Over in the Campbell Conference, The Predators, Jets and MINNESOOOOOOODA WIIIIIIILD are cruising in in their division, while the Army/Las Vegas Black/Golden Knights, Sharks and Kings are currently in.  The two wild card spots, held by the Avalanche (who have a game in hand) and the Anaheim Mighty Ducks are sitting on the same point total as LA, with Dallas and St Louis nipping at their heels.  Should be a hell of a fun 2 weeks and change. The Canucks and Coyotes are already eliminated and should soon be joined by the Oilers and the Blackha….wtf? Yes, by the Blackhawks. Sorry, Swissy.

There’s probably something I missed in there, so I expect to be corrected in the comments. Or at least challenged. But that’s cool.  And anyway, its time for me to stop worrying about sports and start thinking about what I’m gonna put in…the links!

Sometimes people get what they deserve. Can’t say this makes me sad. The culture there was akin to a beehive, where everyone was expected to serve the queen (in this case, the king), even sacrificing their personal beliefs or morals in order to advance their career. OK, so not exactly like a beehive except for the everyone serving part. But seriously, they know they were doing little more than satisfying the sexual idiosyncrasies of a perverted dickhead and they knew they were often sacrificing the physical safety of innocent women in order to do so, and in return they were financially rewarded.  They all deserve to never get a job in Hollywood again, unless its selling maps to the houses of the people they served up to their disgusting pig of a boss.

SXSW bomb threat cancels concert amid series of bombings. Meanwhile, a bomb went off in San Antonio’s FedEx center, and FBI officials say it may be linked to the events in Austin. Meanwhile, with little known about the bombings or bomber, President Trump pledges support for the people working on the case and for the victims (and is promptly called a racist by “leaders” in the black and latino communities). Meanwhile, the NAACP and CBC, also armed with little to no information, called on officials to classify it terrorism and to make sure they find out the motivation of the bomber since its allegedly targeting black and latino communities (except the FedEx location, obviously).

Look out Northern California. here comes some more global warming for ya! This is gonna end up being one hell of a winter for precipitation. And you can thank the good people over at Global Warming, Inc for it…but only if it causes some destruction. And when it doesn’t rain for two months straight, as its prone to do there since the dawn of time, you can also blame global warming for the “drought”. But only if it has a negative effect on crops. If it raises yields, it’ll just be due to sheer luck that the global warming didn’t cause the levels of precipitation to be even higher…or lower…depending on what’s needed to extract more money from taxpayers and transfer it to politically-connected shitheads. And not to be outdone, Old Man Winter is prepared to pay the Chowderheads a visit.

Wow, what an interesting coincidence. There’s a laundry list of coincidences that seem to follow Brown around. Yet she’s slicker than a greased pig when it comes to her being prosecuted.  Ooh, I know! Let’s have a special prosecutor charge her with “Conspiracy Against The United States” with nothing else attached to it. That ought to work.

Crazy man does crazy thing and dies. Dude had quite the arrest record. Perhaps he should have received a mental evaluation at some point in his recent past rather than a dragnet which spooked him into jumping in a freezing river while butt nekkid.

SEA SMITH SAY GOODBYE TO FRIEND ONE LAST TIME. COMMIT HER TO BOWELS OF THE DEEP BLUE SEA.

Don’t even ask how I picked this song. Its a mystery to me too. But now I want to go see what Winona Ryder is up to.

Well that about does it for the links.  Hope y’all have a nice day.

This was me Thursday at 11 am:

Full of hopes, dreams…and 64 teams. This was the year I’d win it all and let everybody know I could pick with the best of them.

This was me at 10 pm last night:

This is one fucked up tournament. From UVA getting boat-raced by (basketball nobody) UMBC. To North Carolina following that up with a soul-robbing beatdown at the hands of aTm. Cincy, Xavier, Michigan State, Ohio State, and then Michigan winning at the buzzer.  I can’t fucking take this kind of abuse.  Its not fair.  Its like God is trying to punish us.  Well thanks a lot, Big Guy. It’s working. I’m a broken bracketer. My March Madness has turned into March Madness. I may not watch any more of this three-ring circus. I don’t know if my constitution is up to it.

You want to know what really churns my stomach?  The leader of the Glibs March Madness Pick Em Extravaganza is…Banjos.  That’s right. My wife, who watches jack shit for basketball all year except for the odd Buckeyes game I’m watching while she sits and twits with the twitterers, is winning the damn thing. But I don’t see it holding up.  Her total of 45 points (with Tennessee cutting down the nets) is one ahead of a solid group, T&T’s boring bracket is in second (with UVA winning it all). Gbob sits tied for third (with the Buckeyes as champs) and is tied with Pie (who is an asshole because he has Duke winning it all). In fact, the bracket with the greatest max possible is MikeS, way down tied for 7th. I’m gonna be watching him even though his possible champ (Texas Tech) has no chance. Except of course, that they have a great chance.

Look, I’m actually having a good time with this year’s insanity.  Its just…if Duke win it all, I will smash the fuck out of something very valuable.  I can’t stand the thought of that rat-faced creep and/or that cheap-shot artist he has in the low post winning anything. That would truly make for an awful Easter weekend, only surpassed by the death of Jesus Christ himself. But at least with that, we get the rising from the dead part. If Duke wins, we get just the misery.

Ugh, I can’t bear to think of it anymore. I’m gonna quickly point out that Liverpool bounced back pretty well by thrashing Bournemouth over the weekend.  Now they need to get ready for Man City in the UCL quarterfinals. The rest of the EPL squads that were in it can sit home and watch what the big boys can do on the biggest stage.

OK, no more sports. The rage is subsiding and the bile is creeping back down my throat as the thoughts of Duke hoisting the trophy go away. Let’s talk about something else.  I know…the links!

Another bombing in Austin set off by tripwire, injuring two. Police appeal to bomber to stop (sensible). Also order residents to stay inside until 10 am (what the fuck for?) I do recall this being blamed on racism by HuffPo early last week and I haven’t followed it since. Can somebody please explain to me what’s going on or if the bomber’s motivations have been made clear?

The National Review can be douchey. But occasionally they publish a (pretty long but quite readable) piece that is pure brilliance and sums up the state of affairs wonderfully. Seriously, if anybody thinks that what Mueller is doing is a good thing, they need to read this and shut their pie hole for the duration of this witch hunt.

Texan Good Samaritan with knife meets California crook with shotgun. Guess how this one ends up?

Two trains derail and collide in Kentucky. Four people are injured.

Betty Boyner had just laid down when she heard what she thought was something exploding. “We thought, what the hell was that? Was it a train? Was it a trailer? We didn’t see any smoke,” she said. She then got a call from her son in Missouri asking if they were being evacuated. He’d apparently gotten a text from a friend who saw the accident on Facebook, she said. She grabbed her purse and a pillow and headed over to the elementary school. “I’m supposed to be up at 6 a.m. in the morning to go to work,” she said. “That ain’t happening.”

Here comes the mocking condescension from coastal elitists about the grammar of these hill people (although Lex is hardly hill people country). Then they’ll trot off to work (after a buttered roll!)  and call the guy who bumps into them on the subway, during their 90 minute commute from their 600SF apt to their job in a 6×6 cubicle, a “fucking cocksucker”.

OK, this is seriously the funniest news story you’ll read today. LOL, how did this not happen in Florida?

I was gonna find one more thing, but I have to end ::takes off glasses:: on a high note.

This goes out to all of those whose bracket is busted.

Have a great day, friends!

Good lord, this has been an exhausting week.  But its gonna end on a high note, as I’ll hopefully be playing golf in the 70s (temp and score) by the early afternoon. And I’ll be drinking a beer every third hole. That’s the plan anyway.  I hope it comes to pass, as I just got another auction signed up that will start taking a lot of my time starting Monday.  Which reminds me: Dallas Glibs, reach out to me and let’s get together one night this next week. The sale is up there and I’ll be in a hotel from Monday-Thursday.  Not sure where, but probably the Galleria area.  I’d definitely be up for a beer or two while in town.

Hey, I guess I was wrong about Arsenal. Wenger will live to coach another week at least. Still, all eyes are on Manchester, where the countdown to the HUGE match between the Red Devils and Liverpool is less than 24 hours away.  And in other sports news, UVA crushed Louisville, and the world rejoiced.  Duke won, and the world wept. Ditto UNC. Kansas is getting their shit together. The Texas Tech Red Raiders got a big win over Texas University. And Villanova and Xavier are on a collision course in the Big East.

Meanwhile, on the ice, a whopping 12 games played yesterday.  Winners were: Boston, Winnepeg, Columbus, Buffalo, Army/Vegas, Tampa Bay, Nashville, Carolina, Florida, Edmonton, Los Angeles and San Jose. The MINNESOOOOOOOOOOODA WIIIIIIIIIIILD were off.

Today we celebrate the birthday of Amerigo Vespucci, without whom the entirety of North America might still be a continent of savagery, brutal buffalo hunting and some pretty cool alternative medicine. Sharing the birthday with America is Vyacheslav Molotov, whose cocktails have been keeping revolutionaries and terrorists drunk with excitement for a hundred years or more. Also, Mickey Spillane, Ornette Coleman (for the jazz fans), Yuri Gagarin (for you Space Nuts), chess player Bobby Fischer, house guest Kato Kaelin, hottie Linda Fiorentina, steroid aficionado Brian Bosworth, and supermodel Yamila Diaz.  Happy Birthday, you crazy kids.

Is that part of the installment working?  Shall I keep it or drop it from the rotation? Anybody suggesting I replace the sports with it will get the cat-ass, so don’t bother (UCS). Anyway, that’s the salad. Now get ready for the steak. And by steak, I mean…the links!

Then quit, you crazy bitch. I mean…Christ, what an asshole.

Diplomacy: Trump style. I do like the fact that he’s clearly said that sanctions will stay in place until an agreement is reached.  I just hope he doesn’t fall prey to the same mistake every President before him for a few decades has fallen for and give away a bunch of free shit only for the Kim regime to renege on every one of the terms they agreed to.  Only time will tell if this bears fruit, but its interesting nonetheless.

Quantas Airlines takes retardation to the corporate level. Seriously, read the guidelines they put in place…and check the itinerary for your next trip down under and ensure you fly another carrier. Because if this is their way of thinking on human interactions, I have to wonder if they make equally stupid decisions regarding maintenance. (And yes, I know their record has been exemplary to this point. But that’s when they allowed their employees to interact with customers and coworkers as normal human beings would.)

In Chicago communities ravaged by “gun violence”, students are hoping Parkland will lead to change are ignoring the root problem and seek to blame everything on inanimate objects rather than the disintegrating family unit, shitty schools, an unresponsive government and most importantly, the individuals carrying out the violent acts. Good luck, dumbasses. Just because you live in a community rife with violence and have cops that are above the law, don’t think you’re gonna get my guns.

I like this lady’s way of thinking. Although I think those kids need a lesson in grammar as well as manners.  Also, is 7km a long walk? Speak American, dammit!

I hope this prick gets tossed in jail for the rest of his life. I mean, he maintained his lie for several years in sworn statements. But if you’ll notice, many of his peers are calling any action against him wrong-headed.  At least take his pension away and let his victims sue him for every penny he has.  That would be a start.

Enjoy some fine sampling.

Have a great day and a great weekend, friends!

Thursday is here, and we’re just two days away from that big clash at near the top of the EPL.  But first, let’s all acknowledge Man City for joining Liverpool in the UCL quarterfinals. And let’s point and laugh at Spurs for getting knocked out yesterday. The JV tournament games are today, with Arsenal attempting to stop the embarrassing level of play against AC Milan. Good luck, Wenger. Lose this and you probably ought to just go away tomorrow.

“Jeez, a soccer update right out of the gate” you say?  Don’t worry. There’s more to the sports world. Carolina and Louisville managed to win, Oklahoma continued to play like absolute shit and fell, in my opinion, out of the NCAA tournament for good after losing to Okie State.  Bucknell punched its ticket to the dance. And Va Tech continued its schizo ways by falling to Notre Dame, and BC knocked off NC State.  Much more drama today on the hardcourt.

Only three games on tap in the NHL, with Calgary thumping the Sabres, the Penguins doing the same to cross-state rival Philly. And the Phoenix Coyotes knocking off the Vancouver Canucks.  Suck on that, Canada.

Its not every day we get to celebrate the birthday of a man whose work led to help so many people. But today we celebrate the birthday of Karl Ferdinand von Graefe, who is largely credited as the father of plastic surgery.  And yes, that means he helped usher in big, ol fake titties. But by “help”, I’m actually referring to the corrective surgeries he helped create like correcting cleft palates, reconstructing other facial deformities and other plastic surgeries that have helped countless people live a more normal life who were largely shunned prior to the developments Graefe helped usher in.  Sharing that birthday is the “eminent” jurist and asshole hater of the 1A, Oliver Wendell Holmes. Also born on this day were Alan Hale, the skipper from Gilligan’s Island, Mickey Dolenz from the Monkees, the lovely Kathy Ireland, American treasure James Van Der Beek, Hines Ward and a certain writer who we are not supposed to talk about who used to write for a certain website.  Happy Birthday, Lucy Steigerwald.

Man, the pre-links news is starting to spiral out of control.  But its good to find out a little trivial information before we step into…the links!

This is a giant pile of big mistakes. Sent two the wrong address…of a meth dealer…totally unprepared. I am already prepared to see calls for more police militarization and a ramping up of the drug war in the wake of this fiasco.

Obviously the biggest story of the day will be that the incoming Trump administration had meetings to set up backchannel communications with a foreign government after he had been elected but before the inauguration. How dare they try to set up communications with a nation the prior admin had been completely hostile to, free from the prying eyes of the outgoing team’s surveillance and outside the “normal protocols” where the outgoing crew took every meeting they were privy to and leaked its contents in the most damaging way possible to your administration.

Boo fucking Hoo. I sure hope Nancy Pelosi and crew sell this to the American public as Trump’s war on the middle class at the expense of the rich.  Because if they do, it will end up with another tax cut on the table just to piss them off. Or maybe it will result in taxpayers from states with huge income taxes, like California’s, will start asking questions about why they pay so much in tax to feed the retirement programs of state unions who let employees pad their salaries in the waning years in order to retire with more money a year than they ever actually earned through their base pay.  Either way, its a losing argument I can’t wait for them to make.

In Chicago, the mayor will be forced to give a sworn deposition in the police shooting and killing of a man holding a baseball bat and an innocent bystander. The city had persistently resisted the depositions for some unknown reason, but now Hizzoner Rahm Emmanuel and police Superintendent Eddie Johnson will be put under oath.

Maybe instead of trying to disarm people like you and me, the cops ought to focus their energies on nut jobs like this guy. Nah. That would mean doing their job, which is way too tough.

Looks like the Women’s March has got some ‘splainin to do. LOL, JK. They’ll get a pass on their relationship and adulation of the horrible racist because his views aren’t that mainstream.  And because there is much more dangerous rhetoric coming from the  racist right, who is becoming more mainstream.*

*David Duke, known racist, has 47,000 twitter followers. Farrakhan has 480,000. But its the right whose “racism” is more dangerous and mainstream, right NYT?

I love it when gun control advocates say how much safer people are in countries with strict gun control. Well I’ve got news for them: this is also what happens when innocent people are forced to live in a nation with corrupt police and strict gun control. I can assure you the cartel members that did this would be thinking twice if they weren’t sure every person they tried to intimidate and terrorize was unarmed.

Sorry to end on such a downer. Let’s see if this lovely song makes up for it at all.

Now get out there and seize the day!

 

Yesrerday’s UCL games in one word: boring. Liverpool had an insurmountable lead and cruised to a 0-0 draw ahead of their match with ManUre this weekend while PSG had an insurmountable task and pretty much sat down against Real Madrid.  Hopefully today’s matches will bring a little more excitement.

I’ll tell you what is exciting though: the NCAA conference championships.  Gonzaga won the WCC for what seems like the umpteenth time in a row. SoDak State beat SoDak and will head to the dance with them. Also punching their ticket are Charleston, who came back from a ton to beat Northeastern, who ch-, ch-, choked big as shit.  LIU-Brooklyn made it in as did the Raiders from Wright State University. Which means Dayton will represent this year even if the Flyers did manage to completely shit the bed.  More finals on tap today and the big conferences, with the exception of the Bg Ten, are getting their tournaments ramped up.

Nine games on the ice last night.  Here’s your recap: Red Wings fall in OT to the Bruins. Devils top Les Canadiens. Blue Jackets beat Army/Vegas. The Jets top the Rangers. The Lightning strike the Panthers. The Predators shut out the Stars. The Blackhawks get a rare (lately) win in OT. The Hurricanes were beaten by the MINNESOOOOOOOOOOOOODA WIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD! And the Anaheim Mighty Ducks blanked the Crapitals. Congrats to the winners.

And today is the birthday of Scottish rabble-rouser Rob Roy, the composer Ravel (whose music I quite enjoy), Willard Scott, Tammy Faye Bakker, Peter Wolf of the J Giels Band, Bryan Cranston from Malcolm In The Middle, Wanda Sykes, the lovely Rachel Weisz, Flipper Anderson and one of my favorite authors Brett Easton Ellis.

I’ll work on the delivery of that new segment. Give me a little time to work it out.  Meanwhile, enjoy…the links!

Remember when I said yesterday that we should probably discount what Kim said about getting rid of his nukes?  Well here’s why. That crazy bastard could have at least sucked some sweet dough out of those European pussies if he’d have just kept his mouth shut.  Now he might get nothing.

As the DOJ sues California for its sanctuary state policy, details start to emerge about some of the illegal immigrants that evaded capture due to the warning given by the Oakland mayor. If one of those felons committees another crime coupled with the Kate Steinle debacle, I could see the tide turning on them. (Just kidding. The “if it saves just one life” slogans only work when the left is trying to take a fundamental right away from somebody, not when it comes to removing someone with multiple felonies who happens to also be here illegally.)

The Nashville mayor who was banging her head of security while he was bilking taxpayers out of tens of thousands of tax dollars, has finally decided to do the honorable thing and resign from office. She also pleaded guilty to felony theft, as did her lover/bodyguard. Both of them will be eligible to have their convictions expunged in a few years as part of a sweet plea deal. Convicted Chicago politicians, of which there are plenty, give a collective “WTF?!?!?!” to the arrangement.

I’m still trying to figure out what Martin Shkreli did that was illegal, but whatever it was prosecutors are asking for 15 years.

What do you do when you voluntarily agree to terms of employment tied to your education and you later don’t like them? Do you quit and go somewhere else? Do you continue to honor your agreement? Hell no, you don’t! You go on strike and occupy the office of the people you are “negotiating” with. I suspect the school will roll over, but I wish they’d call the state police and have them removed, expelled them and let every school in America know they’re not the kind of people you make an agreement with because they’ll simply ignore it when it doesn’t go their way.

Jury selection continues today in the jury trial of the Pulse gunman’s widow. Hey, can somebody refresh my memory and tell me what they’re calling that mass slaughter again?

And in local news, the wife of a local sportsball player has a new job. I, for one, approve of her getting out there and making a name for herself in the workplace. I’m sure most of you do, too.

The greatness of the song can’t be offset by the goofiness of the video. In fact, it might even be enhanced by it.

On that note, go out and seize the day, friends!