Author: SEA SMITH

SEA SMITH NOT HAPPY. HE TRY TAKE RELAXING CRUISE. BUT SHIP PEOPLE SAY “NO BRING UGLY FISH” – SEA SMITH EXPLAIN IT EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL…NO WORK. SEA SMITH NO GO ON CRUISE. TRY RELAXING NEAR SEA LION COLONY (BY RELAXING, MEAN RAPE SEA LIONS). BUT NO ALL YOU CAN EAT SEAFOOD BUFFET OR LOUNGE ACTS….SO SEA SMITH NOT HAPPY.

BUT HE HAPPY TO GIVE LINKS! SO HERE ARE GOOD LINKS TO TALK ABOUT:

1. SEA SMITH UNHAPPY ABOUT NOT GO ON SHIP, BUT NOT AS CRAZY AS HOOMAN ON SUBWAY. SEA SMITH NO SWIM UP HUDSON. NYC CRAZY!
2. SEA SMITH REMEMBER SOMETHING ABOUT “MOTHER OF ALL BATTLES” – IT NOT GO GOOD FOR CRAZY DICTATOR….SO WHY ANOTHER ONE SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

   

    

3. SILLY HOOMANS. IT EASIER IF ASK SEA SMITH TO DO IT FOR YOU! SEA SMITH LIKE MINES, THEY TICKLE WHEN GO BOOM.
4. SEA SMITH VERY CONFUSE. HIM HEAR ALL THINGS FROM NEW PRESIDENT MEXICO… BEFORE ELECTION, HIM BURP WHOLE INTERNATIONALE AND WEAR HAMMER AND SICKLE UNDERWEAR…NOW, THIS?!

SEA SMITH HOPE YOU HAVE GOOD NIGHT – HIM GO AND HAVE BEERS WITH FRIEND NINGEN. HIM ONLY SAY “BLOOP” SO NO ARGUMENTS!

SEA SMITH HAVE JOKE!  WHY NORWEGIAN NAVY PUT BAR CODE ON SIDE OF SHIPS? SO THEY CAN SCAN DA NAVY IN!

THAT FUNNY! HAHAHAHA!

YOU NO THINK FUNNY? …WELL SEA SMITH DON’T SEA IT THAT WAY!

HAHAHAHAHA!

OK, NOW YOU ALL LAUGHED TO POINT YOU TIRED, SEA SMITH GIVE LINKS! SEA SMITH HAPPY STEVE SMITH ALL SAFE, AND HE NOT HAVE TO WORRY!

1. SEA SMITH CANCEL SWIM UP RIVER SEINE…SEE FRENCH HOOMANS ACT TOO SILLY. SILLY HOOMANS KICK BALL, NOW MANY HURT. SEA SMITH SHAKE HEAD.
2. SEA SMITH WONDER IF OMWC INVOLVED WITH CRAZY ELECTRIC CAR HOOMAN?
3. THIS MAKE SEA SMITH SAD. HIM WONDER IF OLD SUPPORTERS OF SANDINISTAS GET MAD?

Below the thunders of the upper deep;
Far far beneath in the abysmal sea,
His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep
Sea Smith sleepeth: faintest sunlights flee
About his shadowy sides; above him swell
Huge sponges of millennial growth and height;
And far away into the sickly light,
From many a wondrous grot and secret cell
Unnumber’d and enormous polypi
Winnow with giant arms the slumbering green.
There hath he lain for ages, and will lie
Battening upon huge seaworms in his sleep,
Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;
Then once by man and angels to be seen,
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.

SEA SMITH READ THIS WHEN SAD AND LONELY. GET SADDER AND LONELIER. MISS STEVE AND WORRY. AND BY WORRY, MEAN “FIND SAILORS AND RAPE.”

SEA SMITH NOW OFFICIALLY WORRIED. SOMETHING GOING ON WITH STEVE SMITH AND BY SOMETHING, NOT MEAN RAPE, THIS TIME.

THIS WASTE OF GOOD EATIN’ FOR SEA SMITH! AND BY EATIN’, SEA SMITH MEAN… YES, THAT. WITH FROWNS AND TEARS. ON BOTH SIDES.

THIS ALMOST MAKE SEA SMITH SMILE. ALMOST.

OK, SEA SMITH ACTUALLY SMILE AT THIS. MIGHT CHEER UP TO FIND CRUSE SHIP.

AUTOMATION HAPPEN WHEN LABOR COST FORCED HIGH. SEEM OBVIOUS EVEN TO SEMI-HUMAN. SEA SMITH LAUGH AND LAUGH, AND HOPE ROBOTS NEVER REPLACE SAILORS.

SEA SMITH FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW.

SEA SMITH HELP COUSIN STEVE SMITH. HE HAVE “CASCADIA-AID”. SEA SMITH COME AND TELL JOKES, WARM UP CROWD. AFTER, MAYBE GO VISIT SOME SEALS. BY VISIT, MEAN RAPE. WANT HEAR JOKES SEA SMITH TOLD? YES, YOU DO.

WHAT SEA MONSTERS EAT? ….. FISH AND SHIPS! 

OCTOPUS ONLY SEA CREATURE SQUIRT INK! ….. SEA SMITH JUST SQUIDDING. 

WHY OYSTER GO TO GYM? ….. IT GOOD FOR MUSSELS! 

SEA SMITH GETTING GOOD AT JOKE. BUT YOU NO HERE FOR JOKE. YOU WANT LINK. SO SEA SMITH GIVE YOU LINK AND GO SWIM OFF AFTER POD OF ORCA. THEM FUNNY. SHARE JOKES. MAYBE GO EAT SEA LION OR TWO.

1. SEA SMITH FIND SOMEONE HE WANT COUSIN STEVE SMITH TALK TO. BY TALK TO, MEAN RAPE. YOU NO DO THAT! BAD HOOMAN! BAD!
2. SEA SMITH HAZ CONFUSE. HE LOOK AND SEE BAD MAN WIN WITH LOTS OF VOTES. THEN HIM SEE BAD MAN WIN WITH NOT SO MANY. ALL BAD, BUT MATH HARD?
3. SEA SMITH TOO BUSY GO SEE WHAT GOING ON. LOOK LIKE ITALY YELL AT BOATS! SEA SMITH NO YELL, JUST VISIT. BY VISIT…
4. BEAR SILLY. WHY IT GO IN HOUSE IN LAND WHERE PEOPLE WEAR CHEESE ON HEAD? GO FIND BEEHIVE. GO GET BERRIES. STAY OUT OF HOUSE, SILLY.

SEA SMITH HOPE HAVE FAIR WIND AND FOLLOWING SEA (ON GLIBERTARIANS.COM)!  SEA SMITH VERY FUNNY!

SEA SMITH GET DISTRACTED WHEN SEE OLD PICTURE TUESDAY WELD, FORGET WHAT DAY IS. BUT HE OK NOW AND WILL PRACTICE JOKES ON GLIBS HOOMANS. SEA SMITH THINK HE ALMOST READY FOR OPEN MIC NITE AT LOCAL SUSHI BAR. THAT BAR WHERE FISH DRINK!  SEE, AM READY!

WHAT FISH MADE OF TWO SODIUM ATOM? …. 2 NA. IS JOKE FOR SCIENCE HOOMANS!

WHAT YOU CALL LAZY CRAYFISH? … SLOBSTER!

HOW OCTOPUS GO TO WAR?  … WELL ARMED!

OK, SEA SMITH STOP. HIM NOT WANT GLIBS TO HURT SELVES LAUGHING TOO MUCH. NOW GIVE YOU LINKS.

• SEA SMITH THINK HE REMEMBER TIME WHEN SPAIN HAD SHAKY GOVERNMENT? WHO WAS STOP THAT FOR WHILE?

  

• OH HOW SEA SMITH LAUGH. HE THINK THIS ONLY HAPPEN IN CANADA…BUT LOOK! HAHAHA!
• IF ONLY SEA SMITH HEAR THIS EARLIER! HE COULD PAY VISIT TO STRANDED SHIP CREW. BY PAY VISIT…

  

   

• WHY EVERYONE LOOK AT SEA SMITH? SOMETIME THINGS DO REALLY “FALL OFF A TRUCK SHIP“! “While the contents of the containers are unknown, we understood they do not contain dangerous goods,” Mr Mitchell said. SEE, NO WORRIES, M8! NOW, SEA SMITH RELOAD BAR AND HAVE NEW FURNITURE!

SEA SMITH HEAR YOU SUPPOSED TO GIVE MUSIC LINK. OK, HERE LINK.

WHEW…SEA SMITH NEED BREAK FROM HOUSE WORK. IT ALWAYS SOMETHING. SEA SMITH JUST GET CARIBBEAN HOME REDONE, AND STORM MESS IT UP. SEA SMITH VERY UNHAPPY. HE GO TAKE IT OUT ON CREW OF SMALL MERCHANT SHIP, BY TAKE IT OUT, MEAN RAPE. BUT HE STILL LIKE PEOPLE HERE, SO HE GIVE LINKS FOR YOU.

• THIS SOUND LIKE SILLY SPY STORY. OR BAD MOVIE. SEA SMITH NOT SURE WHAT GOING ON. BUT HE LEAVE IT TO YOU TO FIGURE OUT.
• SEA SMITH GLAD HE STAY AWAY FROM YEMEN. NO TRIP TO GULF FOR SEA SMITH THIS YEAR!
• THIS MAKE SEA SMITH LAUGH. WHAT IS BIG DEAL?
• SEA SMITH NO UNDERSTAND…IS RENEWABLE ENERGY!  OK, SO IT A BIT TOO MUCH ENERGY AT ONCE…

SEA SMITH HAVE GO NOW…START CLEAN UP. HOPE YOU HAVE GOOD REST OF DAY.

SEA SMITH ENJOYING WEEKEND. HE COME ACROSS TRAMP STEAMER OFF HORN OF AFRICA. TRAMP WAS ASKING FOR IT! HA HA! STEVE SMITH CONTINUE TO MAKE FUNNY JOKES. KEEP WORKING ON MATERIAL AND LOOK FOR STAND UP OPPORTUNITY.

ANY OF FUNNY GLIB PEOPLE KNOW A GOOD AGENT?

BUT YOU COME FOR LINKS AND TO SAY OWN FUNNY THINGS. SO SEA SMITH GIVE LINKS, THEN KNOCK OFF TO SEE BUDDY NINGEN. HIM STILL ONLY SAY “BLOOP” BUT HIM OK FELLAH.

• SEA SMITH GLAD HE NOT IN NYC…HE GET LIVE IN WHOLE OCEAN, NOT EXPENSIVE PLACES. LAND PEOPLE CRAZY.
• DEMOCRACY!!! NO WHISKY OR SEXY. NO FOOD OR MEDICINE EITHER. SEA SMITH SHAKING FINNED HEAD. LAND PEOPLE REALLY CRAZY!
• YOU THINK SEA SMITH TOO HARD ON CRAZY LAND PEOPLE? EXPLAIN THIS TO SEA SMITH!
• SEA SMITH ASK…YOU KNOW WHO ELSE UNITE ITALIANS AND RULE COUNTRY? AND NO, ANSWER NOT “CAMPARI” YOU SILLY GLIB LAND PEOPLE!

“BLOOP!” OK, NINGEN, SEA SMITH COMING OVER….HE BRING SEAWEED SNACKS!

SEA SMITH GLAD TO SEE YOU. GET IT…SEA, SEE! OK, SEA SMITH WORK ON ROUTINE MORE. HE WANT TO GO TO OPEN MIC NIGHT AT CLUB. SAW SIGN FOR OPEN MIC WHEN HE GO SEE OLD BAND PLAY. THEM LOSE STEP, BUT STILL HAVE PLENTY GROUPIES TO HANG OUT WITH. BY HANG OUT WITH, MEAN RAPE. SO SEA SMITH GIVE LINKS AND GO WORK ON JOKES.

1. SEA SMITH SAD FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE RUN FROM VOLCANO. SEA SMITH PROMISE HE NO MESS WITH RESCUE AND EVACUATIONS. BY MESS WITH, MEAN RAPE. SEA SMITH GO AND STAY NEAR LAVA … BEST HOT TUBBING!
2. SEA SMITH FIND JOB HE NO WANT. TOO SHOOT-Y. OR SHOULD SAY TOO SHOOT-Y AT-Y. WHATEVER IT BE, HE NO WANT.
3. SEA SMITH SAY “WHAT COULD GO WRONG?” SEA SMITH THINK PLENTY. NOT IT MATTER TO SEA SMITH. HE DNA EVERYWHERE. HA! SEA SMITH MAKE A FUNNY!
4. CANNOT WAIT TO GO FIND SHIP! NAME WHAT MAKE SEA SMITH LAUGH. IF HE FIND SHIP THERE BE “BLISS”. BY BLISS, MEAN RAPE. LOTS.

SEA SMITH GO NOW, LEAVE YOU ONE FINAL JOKE. WHERE SHELLFISH GO WHEN BORROW MONEY? TO PRAWN BROKER! HAHAHAHA! SEA SMITH GETTING HANG OF JOKES!

SEA SMITH FRIEND NINGEN WANT TO HELP WITH LINKS. NINGEN GOOD FRIEND. SEA SMITH OBLIGE. SEA SMITH BUSY THANKS TO NICE WEATHER AGAIN. NINGEN PROBABLY NOT RAPE. PROBABLY.

• BLOOP!
• BLOOP, BLOOP!
• BLOOOOOOOP!
• BLOOP.

SEA SMITH ON DECK FOR … LINKS. YES, HE MOST OFTEN ON DECK OF SHIP FOR RAPE. BUT TONIGHT, HE HAVE LINKS. FOR YOU.

THEN SEA SMITH GO INVESTIGATE “SOS” HE HEAR EARLIER. WHEN SEA SMITH ARRIVES, SOS MEAN “SAVE OUR SPHINCTERS”! HA! SEA SMITH MAKE SELF LAUGH. SO, HERE LINKS;

1. SEA SMITH THINK HE PAY VISIT TO EVIL ENGLAND PEOPLE. BY PAY VISIT, MEAN THROW IN OCEAN.
2. SPEAK OF EVIL PEOPLE. WHAT THEM DO? THEY JUST WANT VOTE! THIS MAKE SEA SMITH SAD.
3. THAT ENOUGH EVIL PEOPLE, HOW ABOUT HERO INSTEAD? THIS MAKE SEA SMITH HAPPY.
4. SEA SMITH CONFUSED. YOU READ STORY AND MAKE SENSE OF WHAT HAPPEN THERE….WITH FORMER COMMIE PRESIDENT NOW TRY FIX WELFARE AND GET RIOTS, LOOTING. MAKE SEA SMITH HEAD SWIM.  GET IT? HA. SEA SMITH MAKE GOOD JOKE.

SEA SMITH GO NOW…HEAR SOS SIGNAL AGAIN!