Author: Old Man With Candy

It’s tough being on the weekend beat- all the good news stuff happens on weekdays, and what I’m left with is the sad remnants. What’s worse, I’m trapped inside all weekend (heat indexes here at 115, with no letup), and we had an unfortunate discovery yesterday. No, not SP’s first period (though sadly, that day is inevitable and I’ll have to trade her in), but something more pungent. Our dog was at the back door going crazy- generally, this means that one of her nemeses is within sight, either rabbits (“THESE NEED CHASING BECAUSE THEY’RE HOPPY!”) or robins (“FUCK SWISS, THESE ARE TRULY THE HATE BIRDS”). Indeed, when I looked, I saw both. But I also saw… a skunk. Which has made an appearance now and then, but this time, it had an entourage. At least three skunks in a gang, maybe more, big ones for the species, and of course, any red-blooded American dog wants to chase them. Unfortunately, our dog is large enough and furry enough that there is not enough tomato juice on this planet to fix the inevitable problem. Suggestions on humane ways of discouraging this cluster of mercaptans from congregating here will be received gratefully.

Anyway, today is the 88th birthday of notorious race-traitor Thomas Sowell, whose book Knowledge and Decisions may be the catalyst that tipped me over from being a ’60s liberal to being a libertarian. Happy Birthday, Dr. Sowell!

And in the news:

Florida Man has his own animal problems to deal with.

DeVita even pulled an iguana out of her toilet after it latched on to a plunger a few years ago. “In one of my bathrooms, my roommate kept hearing something in his toilet and saw something poking its head out,” she says. “It was very aggressive.”

My suggestion: import a bunch of Chinese, equip them with nets and woks, and the problem will take care of itself.

 

I wonder if iguanas had something to do with this, which locked a bunch of us out of Glibertarians.com for several hours yesterday.

Some customers took to social media to discuss the outages, saying they were having trouble getting through the company’s phones and online chats. Comcast, on Twitter, directed customers to an internal website that was at one point down as well, eliciting a second round of customer complaints.

 

See, the worst thing here is that it’s not even a sports-related death. That would require, you know, an actual sport, not “Third World Knee Clutching and Rolling on the Ground.”

Ms Maiochi, who was single, posted a photo on her Facebook page on May 31 of herself holding a glass of wine. And in her last written post she had shared a video warning about the risks of using a mobile phone while driving, writing: “We never imagine that something like this can happen to us. But accidents do happen.”

 

Isn’t this a theme on PornHub?

A twisted dad made his 11-year-old son have sex with his step mother because he was worried he might be gay, a court heard today. The judge at Reading Crown Court sentenced the father to six years behind bars for child cruelty and indecent acts with a child.

 

I know I’m not supposed to laugh at this, but… I laughed at this.

He was allowed to walk away despite a 2015 Wisconsin law banning people from knowingly installing devices to record under other people’s clothing without their consent.

So the explosion couldn’t have been THAT big.

 

Trump is often incoherent. Pelosi says, “Hold my beer.”

“120, 130, 125, 130 million Americans have pre-existing conditions.”

 

Old Guy Music. Fuck it, that was the best incarnation of this band and if you’re going to live in the past, do it right. I can’t tell you how many times I whipped out my flute and ran through this one with my old band. A neighbor and buddy who is a terrific session guy and does bar gigs on the side has asked me to sit in on a song or two, and if I can convince him to do this one and I have some drinks in me, well, I might. Bonus: there’s a short bit at the end from a TV show. Guess who the guitarist is.

 

Since we’ve made a habit of starting things out with anniversaries (I won’t do sports because soccer isn’t a sport, baseball is dead to me until Angelos sells the Orioles, and it’s not football season yet), today has some doozies. For example, it’s the birthday of Ambrose Bierce, who was the most delightfully acerbic and cynical American writer until Mencken. Ditto Fred Hoyle, the astronomer and science fiction writer who was spectacularly and interestingly wrong regarding the steady state universe, and Arthur Brown, the freakishly influential one-hit wonder.

And because I’m feeling cynical, lazy, perverse, and uncreative, I’ll just jump directly into the news.

 

Glib jocks quiz nymph to vex dwarf.

The sudden freedom for Wilson, 57, came after Cook County Circuit Judge William Hooks ordered his release a few hours earlier. The judge had tossed out his murder conviction last week after finding that notorious ex-Chicago police Cmdr. Jon Burge and detectives under his command had physically coerced his confession.

Kevin Graham, president of the Chicago Fraternal Order of Police, who attended the hearing, called Hooks’ ruling “disgraceful.”

Of course he did. And as long as police abuse is attributed to race, race, race, we’ll never get to the root cause of the actual problem.

 

Nymphs blitz quick vex dwarf jog.

In fact, the ubiquitous yellow CAUTION signs that are visible along the highways and roads along the Texas-Mexico border shows a man, a woman and a child running. We knew it all along. We drove right past them, as the little girl’s ponytail is lifted up by the momentum of her family’s desperate flight. Miller, Nielsen, and President Trump (let’s not forget he celebrated Cinco de Mayo with a taco bowl from Trump Tower Grill) are the faces and the voracious guts of a nation that has for far too long exploited and taken, dined and dashed.

Oh NPR, please never change.

 

Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow!

Romney’s tone has changed considerably since the 2016 campaign when he called then-candidate Trump a “phony” and a “fraud.” Things change after a president is elected, Romney said, adding that he’ll get behind good policies while criticizing bad ones.

Romney, steadfast in his principles. Utah deserves him.

 

Jack fox bids ivy-strewn phlegm quiz.

The “Christian activist social justice organization” has 34 employees and 125 volunteers and reported $5.821 million in revenue in 2016 (the most recent year for which financial records have been made public). Expenses for 2016 totaled $5.817 million. Sharpton’s 2016 “base salary” was $250,000. The bonus payment ballooned his total compensation to $687,555.

In addition to his compensation, Sharpton’s hefty expenses–first class air travel, luxury hotels, and a chauffeured car–are covered by the National Action Network. While Sharpton has an office at the group’s leased Harlem headquarters, he often works from a midtown Manhattan office rented by the not-for-profit.

Just rewards for a productive and unselfish career. Remember SP’s slogan: “Non-profit does not mean non-money.”

 

A very bad quack might jinx zippy fowls.

Tens of thousands of anti-Brexit protesters marched Saturday in London to demand a new referendum on leaving the European Union, as a divided Britain marked the second anniversary of its vote to quit the bloc. Organizers of the People’s Vote march say Brexit is “not a done deal” and people must “make their voices heard,” BBC News reports.

Wasn’t the referendum “making their voices heard”? Well, if we keep doing it over, maybe the proles will eventually get it right.

 

And now Old Guy Music. Since y’all rarely bother to listen to it and the most comments I ever got about it was whining and complaining when I put up a great Joni Mitchell song, you get her again. This time, a song from the ’70s centered on an incident of which YouTube commenters seem to be ignorant, the Hanafi Muslim siege in DC, our first clue that the newly-inaugurated Jimmy Carter might not be… the most effective person on the planet. Marion Barry was winged in the shootings, and of course, a major demand was the cancellation of a soon-to-open movie about Muhammed, with repeated references by the gunmen to how Jews run America and that this must cease immediately. Incidentally, the Wikipedia stuff about this and related articles bear many traces of the PC editing that seems to be the fashion in their non-technical articles. In any case, Joni does an interesting compare-and-contrast, and of course, the playing and singing are top notch.

 

Summer has begun, and here in beautiful northern Illinois, it has been marked by monsoons and much colder than normal weather. The upside to that is that the street shootings tend to diminish slightly, though I don’t see any improvement in the kill ratio (our local yutes are lucky if they manage to waste one out of every twenty people they wing). So of course, my links will have nothing whatever to do with summer.

It’s an auspicious birthday list today. At the top, Alan Turing, father of modern computing theory. Saint Art Modell and his former employee Brandon Stokely as well. Clarence Thomas, who always skips four when he counts to ten. Country icon June Carter. And #metoo fall guy James Levine.

 

I’ve visited 49 out of the 57 50 states, the lone exception being Hawaii. I have had zero urge to go there since I hate hot humid climates, don’t do ocean sports, won’t eat Spam, and am allergic to grass skirts and progressive government. But maybe I should reconsider.

…sources revealed a number of criminal investigations into activities at the home. One of those investigation involves a mother who says her 5-year-old daughter witnessed sex and nudity at the home while there with her father. The girl drew a picture of the naked people in the house for her mother.

“She was sad, mad and confused. (She asked), why does everybody have to be naked?” said the girl’s mother, who asked not to be identified. A Child Protective Services document obtained by Hawaii News Now says that in May 2018, the girl “showed signs of sex abuse.”

“She took a small toy and was using it as a sexual toy,” the document said.

 

I’m not going to say that this is one of our beloved commenters, but… it’s one of our beloved commenters.

It is legal to shoot iguanas in the head with a pellet gun, stab them in the brain and even decapitate them as long as they don’t suffer, according to state law. University of Florida researchers say bashing in an iguana’s head and destroying its brain quickly is the most humane way to kill one.

It’s a crime to drown, freeze or poison iguanas. “When you put out rat poison, you can’t control what’s going to consume it,” Portuallo says. “The animals die a slow, excruciating death, which is inhumane.”

Meh, I’m sure he has far, far worse planned for us mammals.

 

It’s nice that the lazy leech Bernie Sanders doesn’t rely on having money funneled through his corrupt wife any more and has found new ways to grift. I’m sure that as he relaxes at his third beach home, he’s busy giving away all of his money to good causes, like the Koch brothers do. Right?

It is not clear if Sanders will contribute to two nonprofit organizations he founded in 2016 after his presidential bid — Our Revolution, a 501(c)4 political organization, and The Sanders Institute, a 501(c)3 nonprofit think tank co-founded by his wife and stepson.

Sanders formed his own “dark money” group at the same time he railed against 501(c)4s, which are not required to publicly disclose financial information, and have been effectively used by conservatives to influence elections and policymaking.

Sounds legit.

 

And speaking of corrupt politicians’ wives…

“Sara Netanyahu is a brave and honest woman and has never done anything wrong. Alongside her work as an expert educational psychologist treating children every week, she spends a lot of time helping children with cancer, Holocaust survivors and lone soldiers.”

Cue massive eye-rolling.

 

Though I advocate a massive reduction in Customs and Border Patrol and rate them only slightly better than the DEA and ATF, I admit that this was probably a better outcome than encountering STEVE SMITH.

“They put me in the caged vehicles and brought me into their facility,” said Roman. “They asked me to remove all my personal belongings with my jewelry. They searched me everywhere.”

 

Old Guy music will acknowledge the start of summer with this wonderful cover of a great Eddie Cochran song by a band which really presaged hair bands and spawned heavy metal. One of the comments noted the resemblance of the drummer to Cousin Itt and I can’t help but but agree. I also like the short Hendrix quote at 2:00.

We’re on the sad part of our trip, the journey back from Heaven to Hell. At the moment, we’re stopped halfway, in Purgatory, otherwise known as North Dakota. The mountains behind us, the prairie ahead, and our faithful companion, Manfred The Mighty Wonder Dog, already anticipates being able to shit in her own yard again.

Enough of the personal, now to the important things for y’all to ignore. First, anniversaries and birthdays. On this day in 1963, the Supreme Court ruled 8-1 in Abington vs. Schempp that public school-run recitation of Christian prayers was unconstitutional. I remember this well: I was in third grade, my first year in public school, only Jew in the class, and resentful that we had to do this shit. My teacher made a point of telling us that anything we heard about this didn’t apply and that she would continue punishing anyone who didn’t enthusiastically participate. Which she did. This was one of the early steps in my development of total scorn and disgust with government indoctrination centers public schools. Today is also the birthday of Harry Browne, for whom I voted twice (in different elections, I wasn’t in Chicago then) and Jello Biafra.

Today’s news that struck my fancy:

 

I do not have much love for Rudy Giuliani, but every once in a while, I have to tip my hat in his direction.

Giuliani also said that he didn’t mean to call the former vice president a “mentally deficient idiot,” as he did in an interview with HuffPost, but then went on to attack Biden’s intelligence.

“I didn’t mean that, I meant that he’s dumb,” Giuliani told Cuomo when asked about his comments.

 

This is why we have such a high regard for the Washington Post, stories like this which really get into the nitty-gritty of an issue.

Such a situation could have long-term, devastating effects on young children, who are likely to develop what is called toxic stress in their brain once separated from caregivers or parents they trusted. It disrupts a child’s brain development and increases the levels of fight-or-flight hormones in their bodies, Kraft said. This kind of emotional trauma could eventually lead to health problems, such as heart disease and substance abuse disorders…

Nearly 4,600 mental-health professionals and 90 organizations have joined a petition urging Trump, Attorney General Jeff Sessions and several elected officials to stop the policy of separating children from their parents.

Huh, it’s really weird that no-one was covering this and circulating petitions three years ago. Huh. I wonder what was different. I guess the WaPo reporters were too busy then to get to this. Yeah, that must be it.

 

Will this be an excuse to step up even more military adventurism in Afghanistan? I mean, our war there is now becoming a national tradition, and we need to make sure that all of our generations to come can feel the same joy that we have had for the past 18 years. We don’t have Bush or Obama any more, can we count on Trump to follow his wise and brave predecessors in maintaining this glorious honor? I worry about this.

 

Never let it be said that we don’t find news that can transform your life.

 

Having grown up watching Brooks and Frank Robinson, Jim Palmer, Dave McNally, Eddie Murray, and Boog Powell, this shit is painful to me, but one of the comments absolutely cracked me up.

This is bullshit, man. Did the Sixers give up when it seemed impossible to set the NBA record for longest losing streak? No, they went out and set that record, and then they broke it the very next year. Did the Browns give up on the dream of an unvictoried season after going 1-15? No, they went out and achieved.

History is history! We may not all be destined for greatness, nor should we demand it. But what more can any man ask than to have his name etched in the annals of recorded humanity? To know when the great cities of today have crumbled, when the valleys have risen to become mountains and the mountains are but dust in the desert, that in some forgotten chamber in some dank corner of the Earth, still there rests a book of human history, and within its pages lies the humble name of the tragic man. “Worst Individual Season (by fWAR) In Baseball History: Chris Davis, 2018, -8.9.”

 

The headline alone of this story should tell you how absolutely worthless the UN is.

 

Old Guy Music! This was a wonderful and appropriate Jack Bruce number, here covered by (((Leslie West))) with Felix Pappalardi on vocals- Pappalardi had originally produced Jack Bruce’s version on Bruce’s superb album Songs For A Tailor, so this kinda brings it full circle. Mountain Climbing seems appropriate, though, for the week we’ve just spent, and yeah, it’s a good cover. I was amused that the comments on the video were all basically “Dad Song,” so they also fit the Father’s Day theme.

We met the nicest bunch of guys out here in the rural Rocky Mountains. They put on uniforms, drill, do target practice, learn hand-to-hand combat, run around the hills, chase Jews… it’s fun. No, I didn’t tell them, because they did seem awful nice and I didn’t want to spoil their fun.

Anyway, that’s a fitting way to segue into the news today. Although I should mention that it’s Stan Laurel’s birthday. The Music Box is still one of the funniest bits of film ever made.

 

Some would call this tragedy. Some would call this callousness. Some would call this overblown. I would call it “opportunity.”

 

Well, if your fame is fading and your cause is brainless, may as well get a more appropriate spokeswoman.

 

Speaking of which, I really am losing hope for the new generation.

 

STILL more useful than their purported assignment.

 

Florida Man, you never, ever disappoint. And bless the Second Amendment.

 

NO. JUST…. NO.

 

Old Guy Music! Not much to say here beyond that this is the guy who basically invented modern electric guitar playing. And the fucker cooks.

 

After an eventful day yesterday, SP and I ended up in Sioux Falls, SD. What sorts of events, you might ask? The usual Mann Act violations? Sure, but the real adventures were storms and Jews. The latter will be expanded on in a separate post. The former was typical midwest stuff: tornado alerts, flash floods, massive thunderstorms. Nothing like 3 feet of visibility to add excitement to a ride.

The fun parts were because of our tendency to avoid interstates and keep to back roads, where we find charming towns, nice people, and a few odder attractions. Unlike most internet website elites, we had no urge whatsoever to write a rednecks-in-the-mist article, but then again, we know how to change a tire.

Happiest of all is our dog, who so far has managed to spread her urine across five states, with three more to go. Speaking of which, we had a surprise when we got to the pets-allowed hotel we had booked: they have a policy, not stated on their website, of limiting pets to 80 pounds and under. Looking at our behemoth, we figured this was going to be a challenge. “Scrunch down, pretend you’re a beagle!” Slipping in the side door, away from the front desk, was the key to success.

June 10 is quite an auspicious day in history. In precedent which has been continued to this day, it is the anniversary of the US invading a country that posed no threat, with the Marines landing in Cuba. The worst outcome of this war was its contribution to the rise of Teddy Roosevelt, certainly on the list of our Ten Worst Presidents. It’s also the birthday of Nat Hentoff, perhaps the last honest liberal, and Bobby Jindal, the less said about, the better.

Speaking of spreading urine, here’s some links to news items that caught my (((eye))):

 

This was talked about last night a bit, but didn’t make the formal links post- but should have. CRISIS, PEOPLE, CRISIS! Angela, Justin, and Manny are horrified. I’m famously not a fan of Trump, but shit like this is starting to win me over.

 

And while we’re in Trump mode, this sort of thing cracks me up. Want more Trump? This is how you’ll get more Trump.

 

Want to win my vote? Cut TSA by 90%, at least. 

 

You wacky goyim.

 

When I want to understand science and public policy, the first guy I ask is a third world commie wearing a dress. Fuck off, Frankie. AGW Derangement is fading away and you can’t save it.

 

Everything is better with monkeys. Everything.

 

Here’s a follow-up to the linked story from yesterday about people checking their phones during sex. 

 

Uh-oh. Of course, the idiot reporters can’t be concerned with what they mean by “traces.”

 

Wasn’t this a hockey joke?

 

Last of all, it is sad for me to note the passing of former Fleetwood Mac guitarist Danny Kirwan. Kirwan was in the band during the years when they did interesting music rather than the shitty pop that later brought them greater riches. He had the unenviable job of playing guitar on the same stage as Peter Green, but he still managed to imprint his personality in the music. And that inevitably leads us into today’s Old Guy Music. Fittingly, this song is from Kiln House, the first album from FM following Peter Green’s departure. The album is… uneven. But the high points were Kirwan’s songs, and this one was perhaps his best. Our band covered it in many gigs, and it was just as fun to play as it is to listen to.

 

The worst part about getting ready for our road trip is the packing. SP wanted to bring ALL of her stuffed animals  and it took hours to calm her down after she realized it just wasn’t going to fit. After all, I needed room for the bags of Skittles and my various trench coats. Nonetheless, it’s Saturday, the Glibertariat expects fresh links, and frankly, I’m now exhausted. So if there’s a theme here, it’s purely coincidental.

I can’t help but think about the greatest road trip movie ever. Watching it now, you see gags that have been stolen by every road trip comedy made in the last 50 years- I’m looking at YOU, National Lampoon’s Vacation. Here’s a delightful clip that starts out with a classic line and goes off into five minutes of pure improv. Oh, and on the Hollywood theme, happy birthday to Johnny Depp, who truly is a fine actor, with an uncanny ability to disappear into a role. And apparently, something happened in some trash sport yesterday, but it’s not football, so who gives a shit.

 

Let’s start in Florida because… well… Florida. There’s something about this state that is just different from everywhere else. Like alligators who have interesting tastes in sashimi. You’d think this would be an object lesson to people, but this is Florida- hold my beer.

One more Florida story, which reinforces my firm conviction that everything is better with monkeys.

 

Something everyone knew but was somehow swept under the rug for reasons. I know, let’s put a billion dollars in cash on a pallet and ship it to those nice folks. Maybe next year, they’ll join their neighbors in a parade. Or maybe not.

 

Concern trolling. Many concerns. The best concerns.

 

OK, I admit I’m old and don’t always understand the changes in the world around me. But seriously, really? REALLY?

 

This is totally not about revenue. Nossir. Public safety!

 

As November approaches, mendacity gets turned up to 11.

 

Old Guy Music time- and here, I should note that today, June 9, is Les Paul’s birthday. There has been no greater. See y’all down the road!

One of the reasons I prefer doing morning links is that I’ve just taken my daily blood pressure pills so the effect is still fresh. Otherwise I’d pop a few blood vessels with sheer rage. But let me ease into the rage inducements slowly, and start with Today’s Birthdays. (“I mean in history, Patty. Before they changed the water.”). They include unperson and southern sleazebag Jefferson Davis, chief Bowery Boy Leo Gorcey, Bernie Schwartz (“Yonda lies da castle of my faddah, who is da king!”), Raul Castro (may he burn in hell), Steve Dalkowski (the most interesting pitcher of all time), and Suzi Quatro, who is one of the few challengers to Diana Rigg in the “who looks best in tight leather pants” contest.

 

OK, now it’s rage time, but I’ll try to temper it with some amusement. Let’s get the nutpunch out of the way first. Surprise, surprise, if we let government thugs steal with impunity, they… steal with impunity. In a world that was even 1% just, every elected official who supports asset forfeiture would be impeached and imprisoned, and every lower level grunt who used that process would be fed feet-first into a woodchipper. Hanging from a lampost would do, but the woodchipper would be more entertaining. Rule of thumb: any policy enthusiastically embraced by Trump, Obama, Bush, and Clinton is 99.999% sure to be totally evil.

 

Well, at least this cop got fired, but I note that unlike us little people, he didn’t get charged with attempted murder. In a just world… wait, who am I kidding? Coming up next- the cop and union’s lawsuit to get his pension back and a nice hefty taxpayer-funded settlement for his emotional distress.

 

Qu’est-ce que c’est?

 

This is, of course, impossible because there’s more guns in Chicago now. FAKE NEWS. After all, it’s not like it’s a pattern…

 

It is hard being a Muslim. Even harder if you’re a female. And harder yet during Ramadan. This story had so much snark opportunity, I didn’t know where to start, but hey, maybe with the photo of the Muslim “beauty blogger” with the canonical Groucho eyebrows, selfie head-tilt, and obligatory duck lips. The Jews had a better idea- make ’em stay outside the city walls until the bleeding stops.

 

Buffalo Wild Wings gets a bit too wild. Pro tip: don’t use Password1234 as your twitter password.

 

Black unemployment hits a record low. And of course, the credit really ought to go to Obama, right? The hacks at Vox are delightfully consistent.

 

Old Guy Music. I confess to being an unabashed fan of Okkervil River, and I present here one of their lesser-known songs with maybe the oddest theme of any song I know of.

 

Another lovely weekend. And if Sherlock Holmes were here, he’d look at me and say, “I perceive that you have been binge watching The Avengers with your wife. And that you sit on the right side of the couch.”

“That’s astonishing, Holmes, how do you come to that conclusion?”

“I noted that your left upper arm is covered in bruises. Each bruise is about the size of your wife’s right fist. So clearly she has been striking you repeatedly. What could cause this, especially from a woman not prone to violence? You are someone of the correct age to have been a young teenager in 1966-1968, your are relentlessly heterosexual, so you clearly would have had a masturbatory fixation on Emma Peel. I see an Amazon Fire attached to your television. The rest is straightforward deduction.”

Enough reminiscing, we need links. First the filler crap: today’s the anniversary of Calvin Coolidge (our greatest president) granting full and unconditional citizenship to all Indians (casino, not call center). And the marriage of Grover Cleveland (our second greatest president) in the White House. It’s also the birthday of Jerry Mathers, whose death in Vietnam caused dad to clobber him or something.

On again, off again, on again, off again. Anyone who has ever spent time in the Middle East recognizes this dance- you perform it any time you buy something at a shop. If you don’t walk out at least twice and let the shop owner chase after you and wheedle you back, you’re not doing your job. The delightful part for me is watching the whiplash as Progressives go nuts at each step of the dance. Perhaps they prefer bombing to dancing? The track record of their heroes certainly suggests that…

 

Job growth, record low unemployment. Sort of what was predicted after the tax rate cuts last year. But it’s bad news. Really bad news. It may not be obvious to you, but that’s because you’re not the deep and nuanced thinker that Nancy “Hold my head up to your ear and you can hear the arteries cracking” Pelosi is.

 

Today is International Sex Workers Day. Shit, I could end this right here and let you pervs do the rest. On a related theme, here’s a guy who is great at getting news outlets to promote his business, which promises to rid you of your addiction to alcohol, drugs, and porn. In other words, to remove all the joy from your life.

In the clinic today I meet James, a 32-year-old former office worker who has been coming here since December when his wife found his porn use on his laptop. “I was nipping to the toilets at work and masturbating,” he explains…

“When people use pornography over an extended period of time unchecked for six or seven hours a day, maybe with cocaine and alcohol as well, then the lines get blurred and the tolerance level develops.”

Wankers In the Mist.

 

Chicago machine politicians gotta do what they gotta do, and Team Blue is of course the party of the little guy, the workers, the downtrodden. Here’s the passage in the story that got me laughing hysterically:

Obama has kept a relative low profile since leaving the White House in January 2017

As the Cos would say in happier times, “Riiiiiiight.”

 

Every once in a while, The Onion is still funny.

 

This one is a stunner. I hope you’re sitting down because the shock of this will make you keel over. Ready? OK. Even in Progressive utopias, rich people and poor people live in different parts of town! Whew, I’m glad I warned you ahead of time, otherwise you might have hit your head when you fainted.

 

Speaking of Austin, my Old Guy Music this week is some folks I would see there regularly. I made the mistake of going out partying with them after a show once, and found out that at my age, this wasn’t a great idea. Kelly is an amazing guitarist, and that fellow on bass has had a pretty interesting career himself.

 

 

Swiss screwed you last night. Maybe because of the 23 beers he had, but that’s no excuse. So it’s time to rely on one of the Original Elders of Zion to bring you news.

 

Do you know what common sense gun control would really look like? I’d say it should start with disarming cops. They really are far worse than the rest of us.

 

Macron runs out of other people’s money. Hilarity ensues. Pire que Hitler!

 

Here’s a delightful quote from a (Catholic, not St. Louis) cardinal:

It is good to prefer your own kind when shopping, to avoid Jewish stores and Jewish stalls in the marketplace. One should stay away from the harmful moral influence of Jews, keep away from their anti-Christian culture, and especially boycott the Jewish press and demoralizing Jewish publications.

So of course the church censured him. Hahahahaha, nope, Commie Pope has put him on the path to sainthood. Never change, Frankie, never change.

 

Who do corruption? WE do corruption! Waukegan is the taint of Chicago.

Best practice is not to have someone who could potentially be a suspect run the investigation, Newby added, and as an employee who worked in the district office, Newby said he and DeVonne could be suspects. It would also not be best practice to pick investigators who report to one of the people being investigated, he said, adding that Plascencia “is my supervisor (and) I’m her supervisee.”

The set-up was problematic and leads people to “think you’re not telling the truth,” Newby said. He added that that this doesn’t mean the results of the investigation are wrong, but it can leave room for doubt.

“Room for doubt.”

 

Inbred idiot acts like an inbred idiot. Will we never be rid of these people?

 

When Beer It Forward goes terribly wrong.

 

Light the Warty signal! California NIMBYism is the best NIMBYism.

 

OK, Old Guy Music for the maybe two of you who ever bother risking turning into your grandpa and actually listening to it. Country music gone problematic.