Author: Old Man With Candy

Mistah Kurtz, he dead. A penny for the Old Guy.

This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

Not with a bang, but with a whimper.

I was going to do the obvious Shakespeare parody, but Swiss beat me to it last night. But before we rejoice in a death, let’s look at life and what today really means. It is the birthday of transformative inventor Lee deForest, thieving fanatical Albanian dwarf Mother Teresa, and true-gift-to-humanity Albert Sabin.

---

I’m not sure which was worse: the halftime tribute to McCain during the football game that never mentioned the word “Keating,” nor his disgusting personal life, nor his consistent war-mongering, nor his self-serving utter disregard for the constitution, OR the fawning encomiums from the networks and major news outlets who were branding him a racist and a Nazi when he had the temerity to run against The Lightbringer in 2008 but are suddenly his biggest fans because he hated Trump, so all is now forgiven. I won’t bother to link to a story here, you’re likely inundated with them. Oh fuck, sure I will.

American politics was badly out of balance during Mr. McCain’s final years, and while he angered some and made his share of mistakes, he accomplished as much as any politician of his time toward restoring some sense of equilibrium — and of truth, honor and integrity — to the governing of a nation that he served well and courageously in war and in peace. He became a dominant figure in the Senate through willpower, persistence and determination, because he commanded the respect due one who has sacrificed much for his country, and because, more often than most these days, he knew what he believed and stuck to it.

Truth, honor, and integrity? I couldn’t even have written this as parody. Anyone care to defend this despicable and thoroughly corrupt piece of shit who has finally shuffled off the stage?

---

And while on the subject of pieces of shit, let’s look in on the lawsuit between Tavis Smiley and PBS:

Smiley also sought information related to PBS’ decision to cancel his show. He contends the sexual misconduct allegations were a smokescreen and claims the network is “racially hostile.” In denying the motion, [Judge] Epstein also denied Smiley’s request to file a 145-page memorandum in support of his motion to compel. Epstein criticized the filing as “mind-numbing” in its repetition and full of “wholly unnecessary” details, such as where Smiley got his undergraduate degree.

I have an image in my head of PBS executives in KKK hoods.

---

Wasn’t this a Talking Heads song?

US cops described Mr Brosnan as “gleeful” when they found him leaning against his car watching the house burn down on Linden Avenue in Swampscott. The father-of-two branded one officer a “buzzkill” for blocking his view of the blaze, reports the Boston Herald. Additionally, a firefighter had to to stop the Irishman from lighting a cigarette and reported that he stank of petrol fumes.

I’m sure there was no alcohol involved.

---

Vegans, Frenchmen with guns, what could possibly go wrong?

The French town of Calais has been no stranger to public disorder in recent years, with recurrent battles between police and migrants or striking ferry workers making headlines across the world. But now the port town is facing a bizarre new threat, according to its council: an alliance of hunters and farmers seeking to take revenge on vegans bent on turning the largely carnivorous French off meat.

I cannot have respect for anyone in France who won’t eat cheese.

---

This is even better than tulip bulbs and wooden shoes.

For the first time it has been calculated what is earned in the Netherlands on synthetic drugs. According to the researchers, 18.9 billion is a conservative estimate. The amount is probably significantly higher. This amount, higher than the annual turnover of companies such as Philips and Albert Heijn, can be regarded as the contribution of Dutch synthetic drug criminals to the illegal world economy.

I note that this amount is also more than double the Dutch defense budget. Maybe their priorities are better than ours.

---

There really is no other choice for today’s Old Guy music.

 

SP and I are in a state of bliss- football is back! Even if we’re just stuck with seeing dogs like Philly-Cleveland or Detroit-Tampa Bay. When the regular season starts, we’ll have the full NFL package and our Sundays will be totally wasted in a most delightful manner.

The main disadvantage: we basically don’t watch actual television. We see old movies and binge-watch selected shows on Amazon and Netflix, but the idea of seeing something on NBC-CBS-CNN-whatever is repulsive to us.  And seeing games on networks reminds us of why. The commercials promoting network shows really brought home to us the mathematical reality that half the population has a sub-100 IQ. And none more so than the endless promos last night for a show called God Friended Me. We just stared at each other in disbelief. There is not enough alcohol in this world that could make something like that tolerable. Maybe with enough head trauma… This explains who wins elections.

In any case, this will be a quieter season. SP yells at referees, especially when she’s been drinking (and how can you watch NFL games and not be drinking?). Her usual targets have been Ed Hochuli and Jeff Triplette, both of whom could get her into a rage-storm and both of whom are now retired. And that just leaves Jerome Boger, and nobody could yell at him. Damn, he ought to be the ref for every game and be the only one allowed to use the microphone to announce the penalties.

Ahem, this is supposed to be a links post, I just get distracted. Today in history, John Birch was killed by the commies, which gave rise to the eponymous Red-Scare organization. It’s delightful irony that this banner now is in the hands of Team Blue. It is also the birthday of Michael Rennie (the One True Klaatu), Sean Connery (the One and Only True James Bond), noted Jew musician Gene Simmons, and antisemitic piece of shit musician Elvis Costello (who also has the distinction of calling James Brown and Ray Charles “niggers”). Oh, and the Grand Mustache, Rollie Fingers, who I don’t think is an antisemite and never called Reggie Jackson a nigger.

On to actual links.

---

Not news, but an interesting link, 10 Libertarian Thoughts on the Civil War. The author makes the vital point that, without an explicit constitutional provision outlining the means of states exiting the union, a civil war was almost inevitable. But then we get into the knotty issues of, “What are the moral obligations of a society toward other societies where there is injustice?” “What are the economic drivers which might cause a subset of states to want to exit and form a different union?” “What is the moral balance between the liberty to exit a voluntary association and the motivation of continuing oppression of people within the exiting states?”

I hope you read this article and that it stimulates some discussion here. It’s a very nicely done piece.

---

We in Illinois have an interesting gubernatorial choice this year between a totally ineffective billionaire who will oversee massive tax increases and a totally corrupt billionaire who will oversee massive tax increases. Surely the Libertarian Party has a better alternative, right? Meet Team L’s candidate, “Kash” Jackson.

Jackson, who was previously named Benjamin Winderweedle before a legal name change in 2017… has said he is unemployed and living exclusively on disability and pension payments from serving in the Navy 20 years. He’s said in court he takes home about $4,500 a month from those benefits.

Great.

---

At that, I guess we’re still better off than Florida.

U.S. House candidate Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera has a long list of accomplishments to bolster her campaign in Florida. But she is perhaps best known for claiming that she was abducted by space aliens as a child… [L]ast weekend, the Miami Herald endorsed her for the GOP nomination in the Tuesday primary out of a field of nine candidates.

Rodriguez Aguilera says she was taken aboard a spaceship as a young girl by blond extraterrestrials who resembled the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro. She says they told her that the “center of the world’s energy is Africa” and that thousands of non-human skulls were once discovered in a cave on the Mediterranean island of Malta.

“We realize that Rodriguez Aguilera is an unusual candidate,” the editorial noted, adding that the paper was impressed with her “boots-on-the-ground ideas and experience.”

We need more politicians like Bettina.

---

Apparently, the Zionazis control FIFA!

President of the Palestinian Football Association (PFA) Jibril Rajoub was fined CHF 20,000 ($20,333) and banned from matches for a year by FIFA’s Disciplinary Committee on Friday… In June, Rajoub called on Palestinian fans to burn pictures of Messi as well as replicas of his shirt should the world-famous striker choose to visit Israel. “We are going to target him personally and we call on all to burn his picture and his shirt and to abandon him,” Rajoub said at the time.

I don’t know why anyone cares. It’s soccer, not actual sports.

---

Speaking of football and Florida, they sure do know how to liven up a game down there.

A shooting at a high school football game in Jacksonville, Fla., on Friday night left one person dead and two injured, officials said. The shooting happened about 10 p.m. ET, 15 minutes after the game ended at Raines High School, where about 4,000 spectators attended, the Florida Times Union reported, citing Jacksonville authorities.
The stadium for the Raines-versus-Lee High School game was placed on lockdown as security personnel worked to keep the remaining fans and players safe, Jacksonville’s WJXT-TV reported.

Now maybe it’s just me, but it seems that trapping people inside is not exactly something that’s going to make them safer.

The superintendent said everyone coming into the game had to undergo a magnetic detector wand search and that security inside the game area was tight.

Well, that was certainly effective. And cue the predictable:

“This is evidence that there is a community issue that has to be addressed, and one of those issues includes access to guns,” Paula Wright, a school board member, told the paper.

Fuck you, Paula.

---

As a kid, I hated two things in the public school morning ritual: reciting the Lord’s Prayer (this was before Madalyn Murray’s court win) and the Pledge of Allegiance. So initially, this started out well.

An Atlanta charter school will not recite the Pledge of Allegiance as part of its morning meeting agenda. Atlanta Neighborhood Charter School on Grant Street announced the change Tuesday in a statement from elementary campus principal Lara Zelski.

Yay, Lara! Oh, wait, maybe not.

“Teachers and the K-5 leadership team will be working with students to create a school pledge that we can say together at morning meeting,” Zelski said. That pledge, “…will focus on students’ civic responsibility to their school family, community, country and our global society.”

Fuck you, Lara.

---

Old Guy Music! And keeping with Brett’s theme and my semi-traumatic visit to Detroit this past week, the one hit wonder pride of Motor City, the Amboy Dukes! As usual, The Nuge plays it close to the chest.

It’s too bad Sundays are slow for comments because this is a day rich in news. And in anniversaries. For example, today is the birthday of Renee Richards (author of the autobiography Tennis Without Balls), noted cigar enthusiast Bill Clinton, the nightmarish Mary Matalin, and equally nightmarish musician Ginger Baker. In honor of the last, enjoy Pressed Rat and Warthog.

Without further ado or anecdote about the goings on in the Candy/SP household (“Stop writing about me, people are going to start believing that shit!”), let’s turn to the news.

 

---

Rule of thumb: never go to anything called a Peace Picnic. It will not end well.

Three people were shot at a back-to-school peace picnic held at a playground in Chicago on Saturday night. A fourth person was beaten up at the event that was held to promote peace and community.
The picnic, which took place at Seward Park on the city’s North Side, was off to a safe start, but onlookers say the mood quickly turned when a group of young men showed up and started fighting.

So, which “reverend” will lead the next “protest”?

---

The Mormon Church is unhappy that it’s the Mormon Church. So whatever you do, don’t call it the Mormon Church.

The church, commonly referred to as the Mormons, really wants people to stop using that word. It also wants people to stop using LDS as an abbreviation. From now on, it prefers that people use the church’s full name, and when a shortened reference is needed, to just use “the Church” or “Church of Jesus Christ.”

Those poor Latter Day Saints, they had their name scraped off the door.

“Mormon is a long-standing nickname for the church and for the movement, but the church leadership has always been concerned that the nickname has obscured the fundamentally Christian nature of the church and the religion,” [professor of Mormon Studies Patrick] Mason told CNN. “Especially since they’re so many people who’ve criticized the church and have done so historically for not being Christian or orthodoxly Christian. The church leadership really wants to emphasize the fact that it is a Christian church.”

Orthodoxly?

---

In the Department of Fuck Government Schools, there’s always something new to prove that kids are being educated in ways that are perhaps unintended. In this case, that brainless bureaucrats who can’t get their actual job done will nonetheless try running your life instead. Some of the parents get it.

“At the end of the day, we want to be able to decide on our own,” Chris Swafford, a father of five kids in the school district, told Fox 4. “I thought it was overstepping at its finest. It’s up to parents what their children eat. Parents’ lives are busy. They sometimes have things going on, and sometimes, grabbing a 10-piece nugget from McDonald’s and taking it to their child shouldn’t be an issue.”

And inevitably, some don’t.

However, some parents support the district’s decision, saying it promotes lunch equality and healthier eating habits. “Oddly I support this. I would hope they are doing this for the right reasons though. That being it’s simply not right for kids who do not ever get these things to watch the other classmates eat it in front of them. Some parents can’t afford to bring child fast food.”

Lunch equality?

---

Kofi Annan is dead. At last. Of course, there’s the usual outpouring of sympathy and lionization of a fabulously corrupt leech who managed to completely bungle his role when it came to the genocide of millions. That’s the shit that gets you Nobel Peace Prizes.

“Kofi Annan was a diplomat and humanitarian who embodied the mission of the United Nations like few others,” Obama said in a Facebook post. “His integrity, persistence, optimism, and sense of our common humanity always informed his outreach to the community of nations.”

Rwandans are apparently not part of the “community of nations.” Well, mostly because they were slaughtered while Annan wrote reports and skimmed off billions in UN graft. But hey, he had a great voice and looked like Morgan Freemen!

---

So in Jew news, the United Nations is doing what it does best.

The protection of Palestinian civilians could be improved by the deployment of UN-mandated armed forces or unarmed observers, a beefed-up UN civilian presence, or expanded UN assistance, Secretary-General Antonio Guterres wrote on Friday in a report.

What a great idea! Ignore that it’s been done repeatedly and it’s been a disaster each time. THIS time, it’s gonna work because we wrote a REPORT.

I suppose we should count our blessings that this is one place where Bush-Obama-Trump haven’t stuck American armed forces. May it ever be thus.

---

OMG OMG OMG, TRUMP WANTS TO KILL US ALL!!!!!

President Trump plans next week to unveil a proposal that would empower states to establish emission standards for coal-fired power plants rather than speeding their retirement — a major overhaul of the Obama administration’s signature climate policy and one that could significantly increase the release of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. The plan, which is projected to release at least 12 times the amount of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere compared to the Obama rule over the next decade, comes as scientists have warned the world will experience increasingly dire climate impacts absent a major cut in carbon emissions.

So let me get this straight- the panic here is because carbon regulation will get tighter, but not as tight as Obama wanted (but couldn’t have enacted into actual law)?

While EPA projects that the U.S. power sector’s overall carbon output will decline over time due to market pressures and other factors after the new rule takes effect, the policy shift would make it increasingly difficult for America to meet the international climate goals it adopted under the previous administration.

Oh-ho, so the problem is that the laws aren’t aligned with the Paris Climate treaty that we never actually ratified, but that Obama signed us onto unilaterally. And of course, let’s just dismiss the effect of market forces. And of course, cue the scary quotes from former Obama administration appointees.

---

The main purpose of dress codes when I was in school was to keep the place free of damn dirty hippies. Today, things are a bit different, the purpose is (to the horror of the Ferengi) to clothe our women.

“Yesterday we showed a dress code video that featured only female dress code violations, and was accompanied by a poor song choice. Construction in and around the campus prevented us from holding student orientation, which is typically accompanied by a fashion show that demonstrates what to wear, and what not to wear. We believed a video would be a good way to replace the fashion show, but this video absolutely missed the mark.”

Now, what’s really the issue here?

“Why are we still over-sexualizing teen girls?”

Any volunteers to explain it to this dolt?

---

Does Swiss Servator know about this?

A Muslim couple have been denied Swiss citizenship after they refused to shake hands with people of the opposite sex during their interview, officials say. They confirmed the decision on Friday, further citing the couple’s failure to integrate and respect gender equality. The couple, interviewed months ago, also struggled to answer questions by members of the opposite sex.

The couple were not asked about their faith, authorities said, though their religion seemed apparent, local media reported.

More importantly, could they identify the parts of a cuckoo clock, drill holes in cheese, and make a proper fondue?

---

Old Guy Music! And proof that you can never have too much Monk. Of course he plays the piano all wrong and probably had an IQ of 65 in the way we measure such things, and was likely deeply autistic. Yet somehow, the writing and performance were works of true genius, and he may have completely changed the way that three generations of musicians approached chord progressions and timing. But otherwise, what did he really do? (Maybe number one on my list of people I never got to see live and horribly regret not being able to do so) Here he is with Charlie Rouse, who uniquely understood Monk’s voice and was… just perfect here.

True story from yesterday: I went to a grocery store near my office to pick up some Beyond Burgers (make fun all you want, they’re delicious, at least when you can find them) that have a marketing gimmick of being placed in the meat section of the store, rather than with the other veggie burgers. As usual, I couldn’t find them, but I spotted a store employee unloading some meat into the case and asked him if he knew where they were placed. “I never heard of it.What are they?” I explained that they were some of the latest generation of fake meat. “Oh, we keep all that shit over in the frozen foods section.” I told him that I had checked there, no they weren’t there, and that I usually found them right about where he was standing. He said, “Huh. lemme check with someone who might know.”

He walked around the corner and spotted a rather tall, thin woman also unloading meat into a refrigerator case. “Hey, Natasha, this guy is lookin’ for something called a ‘Beyond Burger.’ Ever heard of that?” She replied in a thick Russian accent, “I go in back and see if it is in cold room and bring back.” She disappeared into the back of the store, and I casually said, “So she’s gonna bring back Moose and Squirrel?”

Totally blank look.

He did have his revenge, though. Natasha brought them out, he looked at them and read through the ingredients, shook his head sadly, and handed them to me. I said, “Seriously, these aren’t the usual hockey pucks, they’re really good, and my wife swears that they’re almost indistinguishable from high quality hamburgers.”

“I tried some of that Boca shit a few years back. It was shit.”

“Yes, Boca is shit, but this is different. Try them.”

He grinned widely and said,”Ahh, no thanks, but hope you enjoy ’em.” Then as I walked away, he yelled to another worker, “Hey, Frank, this guy wants me to eat some burger thing made outta seaweed!”

Ahh, Chicago!

---

In anniversaries and birthdays today, there’s a very special one to me: it’s the 60th anniversary of the publication of Lolita. And perhaps not coincidentally, the birthday of Roman Polanski. Also photobombing congresschimp and all-around comedy relief Louie Gohmert.

I see that this story has now entered the Grovel Cycle. At some point, someone who is a more clever writer than I am will set down the equivalent of Kubler-Ross for politicians whose careers are in the death spiral.

“I humbly apologize to Representative Chang, her husband, Mr. Gray, and to the broader Asian American community for those disparaging remarks. In the divisive age we find ourselves in, I should not contribute further to that divisiveness. I have reached out to Representative Chang to meet with her so that I may apologize to her in person. I pray she and the Asian American community can find it in their hearts to forgive me.”

Of course, an hour later, she wanted to slur Chang again.

---

If you’re like me, the Outrage Machine is a source of amusement. SP is not as amused as I am and gets angry about this stuff, but she’ll outgrow that. Or maybe not. Today’s hilarity is, as is has been for the past two years, TDS at its finest, as The Donald had the temerity to say kind things in memory of Aretha Franklin. HOW DARE HE!!!!!

When Trump says Aretha “worked for him many times,” he says with the arrogance of a slave owner…

SP’s point, which is 110% true, is that Trump does so much actual stupid shit, and gets away with it because his opponents are busy screaming incoherently and reflexively about unimportant or (in this case) non-existent shit.

Did I ever mention how much I hate Teams?

---

And one more Sign Of The Times. Goucher College was a pretty prestigious school back in the days when I lived in Maryland. Apparently they feel they need to work hard to make sure that they’re no longer taken seriously as an academic institution.

“A small college can’t just keep adding majors,” President Jose Bowen said in a statement to the Baltimore Sun. “Sometimes we need to move resources from one to another and subtract too… We believe [scrapping programs in math and physics] is an opportunity for existing programs to come together in new configurations that speak in exciting ways to Goucher College’s ideals of social responsibility, environmental sustainability, and international studies.”

Math is haaaaard.

---

There’s sexual kinks that I truly do not get. Sloppy seconds is one of them. And sloppy seconds at gunpoint will get you some time as the guest of the state.

The woman was one of four victims who spoke at the sentencing for Powell who was convicted in March of 60 counts, including 24 counts of aggravated sexual assault, in connection with forcing his way into motel rooms and forcing the couples to have sex at gunpoint, then locking the men in bathrooms and sexually assaulting the women.

Won’t it be fun having this guy as your cellmate?

---

“Make no law” seems to be a very difficult concept for Team Blue, who have gone into full frontal assault against the First Amendment by… making lots of laws. This one from Maryland was so stupid and transparently unconstitutional that even the Team Red governor refused to sign it. it was passed anyway and, inevitably, is now in the courts. Impeachment of the state legislators doesn’t seem to be on the table, alas.

The challengers argue the law infringes on free speech because it requires them to publish information about political ad buyers. The newspapers also say the law includes onerous requirements for them to make data on ad buyers available to election officials on request.

“Russian meddling” now seems to be the new universal excuse for Team Blue to use the constitution as toilet paper. In a just world, there would be a long row of woodchippers in Annapolis to reduce waiting time.

---

Old Guy Music! And a bit less avant garde than last week’s selection. This week, we have Detroit’s finest guitarist, Kenny Burrell, accompanied by my favorite jazz bassist and drummer. This is some fucking great playing.

Last night was far more successful. It started with a failure, though, with the NFL Network app failing to work for the third night in a row. This was apparently universal, since SP’s search turned up thousands of people complaining and canceling their service. Which we did as well. Instead, we turned to the movie recommendations of everyone not named Mad Scientist or Sloopy, and quickly settled on I’m Alright, Jack, hat tip to IObOt. And it was not only a wonderful movie, written and acted to perfection, it was a slice of history which foreshadowed the inevitable crash that led to Thatcherism in England and brilliantly lampooned their class system (right down to the accents). Anyone who has been unfortunate enough to be imprisoned in a unionized workplace will be nodding with sad familiarity through much of this. Peter Sellers does something that most actors are incapable of, but that he could do with seemingly no effort- completely disappearing into his roles. Great flick.

In the now-mandatory category of birthdays and events, today is the birthday of Erwin Schroedinger, he of the eponymous equation and roving penis. Also, Nazi collaborator George Soros, gun safety expert Plaxico Burress, and vastly-overrated guitarist Pat “More Phase Shifter!” Metheny. And this is the anniversary of the death of the last quagga and the discovery of one of Chicago’s great landmarks, Sue.

Not that there isn’t news. There’s always news.

---

The racist administration of my hometown and their racist police department caught yet again doing racist stuff.

In the video, an officer is seen pushing McGrier up against a wall. McGrier appears to push the officer’s hand away. The officer then repeatedly punches McGrier, who does not appear to strike back. The punches continue until McGrier lands onto rowhouse steps before finally falling to the pavement. The officer then pins McGrier down. A second officer is present but does not appear to partake in the beating.

And inevitably, the racist cop is rewarded with paid vacation. Because totality of circs, procedures followed, and, oh yeah, union.

---

When even the WaPo is embarrassed by a Prog, you know you’re dealing with some Grade A Prime retardation.

For instance, in an appearance on CNN on Monday, when challenged on the costs of government-financed health care, she answered: “Why aren’t we incorporating the cost of all the funeral expenses of those who died because they can’t afford access to health care? That is part of the cost of our system.”

Huh?

Of course, WaPo being WaPo, there’s a few half-hearted attempts to make her sound not quite as stupid as she actually is.

[T]o be fair to Ocasio-Cortez, the average member of Congress might easily make many bloopers over the course of so many live interviews.

Well, if the best defense is, “She’s no stupider than Hank Johnson,” we’re in for an amusing next two years.

---

I just don’t even know where to start with this one.

Community members confronted a circle of police in Chicago’s Englewood neighborhood over a “bait truck” filled with Nike shoes and allegedly left open by police aiming to lure potential thieves and make arrests. “Y’all dirty, man,” a man tells officers in an online video of the incident published Thursday. “Y’all see kids playing ball and you pull a f—– Nike truck into the ghetto.”

But Norfolk Southern Railway, which operated the truck with assistance from the Chicago Police Department, denied that the sting targeted neighborhood youth and that the truck was ever left open. Three men, ages 21 and over, were charged with burglary last week after they broke into the truck, police said.

Here’s the giveaway:

After the confrontation, however, the white truck is driven away.

Knew it!

---

There is literally nothing left that won’t kill you.

Shelly L. Miller, environmental engineer and Professor of Mechanical Engineering at the University of Colorado Boulder, recently launched a barrage of tweets linking to research into the effects of gas on indoor air quality; she claims that she “just got annoyed when asked if there was evidence of health effects from gas stoves…” Seriously, anyone who reads this will want to rip out their gas range.

I wonder if barrages of tweets will now replace actual publications on academic CVs?

After scanning this research I can only conclude that gas ranges simply do not belong in our homes, particularly in open kitchens, and should never be used without a properly designed and balanced exhaust system, which is almost impossible to find. And for a modern, well-sealed home with controlled mechanical ventilation, (like a Passive House), just forget about it.

Well, that’s that. I’m going back to rubbing two sticks together.

---

There’s been a lot of discussion in the comments on the upcoming Dora The Explorer movie. And I have to admit that the definitive comment appeared not here, but 5 years ago at Hit & Run.

Enough About Palin|4.16.13 @ 4:31PM|#

Who are you to judge me??? You have to have men who are moral… and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to assfuck without feeling… without passion… without judgment… without judgment! Because it’s judgment that defeats us.

To reiterate, I would pay ten grand to fuck Dora the Explorer up the ass. Ten Grand.

---

In sad news, the brilliant writer V.S. Naipul has died.

“I was born there, yes,” he said of Trinidad to an interviewer in 1983. “I thought it was a great mistake.”

I have trouble thinking of any book of his that wasn’t delightful and insightful. “Among The Believers”

A businessman is someone who buys at ten and is happy to get out at twelve. The other kind of man buys at ten, sees it rise to eighteen and does nothing. He is waiting for it to get to twenty. The beauty of numbers. When it drops to ten again he waits for it to get back to eighteen. When it drops to two he waits for it to get back to ten. Well, it gets back there. But he has wasted a quarter of his life. And all he’s got out of his money is a little mathematical excitement.

The comments are, of course, predictable.

He was a reactionary writer with emotion and prejudice mix with misinterpretation of faith, history and his own Indian identity subdued by the English colonial power. The depth of his self-identity was reminiscent of his past living in poverty and coping with Hindu values he was raised with and living under the wrath of White Christian colonial hegemony.  His writings are full of crisis and the story of poor brown man subjected to power.
Yet he would contradict himself in the same pros attacking one religion and subjecting himself to the power of another without the same critique.

Among The Believers was the last book of his I read, and the insights from 1981 are particularly poignant today.

---

Old Guy Music, this time featuring a guitarist who, in a just world, would be living in mansions and driven around in Bentleys in the manner of pop music hacks without 5% of his talent and creativity, Bill Frisell. This is a live version of a very avant garde and difficult tune, John McLaughlin’s Follow Your Heart aka Arjen’s Bag, a blues-based composition in 11/8. And Joey Baron does a wonderful job here as well.

Scientific fact: 98% of you will hate this.

Friday night in the Candy household. The Old Man is freshly back from a week of torture in Atlanta. There’s a bottle of sparkling wine (New Mexico’s finest) waiting to be drunk, and a meal being prepared. But what we don’t have is… the right movie to watch. We needed suggestions. Now, in a perfect world, we’d probably ask LT Fish or Ted S for advice, since these guys know movies and have excellent taste. But since we needed an immediate response, we were limited to people whose phone numbers we had on hand. Sloopy? Fuck no, he thinks dull Spielberg flicks with big rubber fish are entertaining. Francisco d’Anconia? Even worse, he thinks that Tom Cruise movies centered around homoerotic beach volleyball games are high art. Spudalicious? The last time we asked him that question, we ended up with a movie called Fuck My Face, which, although it had its moments, was somewhat repetitious. Riven? I’m not interested in Jeff Goldblum masturbatory material.

SP had a brainstorm: let’s ask Mad Scientist! His suggestion? Beverly Hills Chihuahua. “Ok, you’re going to to think this is stupid, but it’s surprisingly endearing. When my wife rented it I thought it was going to be horrible, but it turned out to be surprisingly not bad!”

Never take movie advice from Mad Scientist. I think we may have lasted 15 minutes before we said, “I’M MAD AS HELL AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANY MORE!” and turned it off. Now, you know a movie has to be incredibly awful for a Jew to not sit through it after we had paid money for it.

And what amazes me the most is… THERE WAS A SEQUEL! Who says that originality and creativity in Hollywood is dead?

OK, today is August 11. What makes this date auspicious? It is the birthday of Erwin Chargaff, whose rule, A=T and G=C, provided the main clue for Watson and Crick to unravel the structure of DNA (fun fact: Chargaff hated those guys), relentless self-promoter Marilyn vos Savant (but she was right about the Monty Hall problem), and fantastic street artist Pavel 183.

What else makes this date auspicious? Yes, some interesting news stories.

---

Why did Constantinople get the works? That’s nobody’s business but the Turks’.

“Before it is too late, Washington must give up the misguided notion that our relationship can be asymmetrical and come to terms with the fact that Turkey has alternatives. Failure to reverse this trend of unilateralism and disrespect will require us to start looking for new friends and allies,” Erdogan said.

Good luck with that, Recip.

---

Adjacent Jew Haters at it again.

The military said a tank fired shells at a Hamas positon after Palestinians threw explosive devices and a grenade at forces stationed near the border. It was not immediately clear whether the Hamas protests at the border were included in cease-fire negotiations.

“You didn’t say we couldn’t throw grenades! Unfair! Unfair!”

---

Remember when Global Warming (since rebranded to “Climate Change,” and recently rebranded to “Hothouse Effect”) was going to destroy agriculture, cause massive crop failures, leaving millions to starve from lack of food? Pepperidge Farms remembers.

U.S. farmers are expected to produce a record-high soybean crop this year, according to the Crop Production report issued today by the USDA’s National Agricultural Statistics Service… Soybean yields are expected to average 51.6 bushels per acre, up 2.5 bushels from last year. Record soybean yields are expected in Alabama, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Mississippi, Nebraska, Ohio, and Pennsylvania.

Average corn yield is forecast at 178.4 bushels per acre, up 1.8 bushels from last year. If realized, this will be the highest yield on record for the United States. NASS forecasts record-high yields in Alabama, Illinois, Nebraska, Ohio, South Dakota and Tennessee.

Wheat production is forecast at 1.88 billion bushels, up 8 percent from 2017.

See, this is just a sign that disaster is right around the corner!

---

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is who Team Blue is positioning to be our next president.

I’ll tell you. Umm. One of the things that I think, for me, is most important is the role that I serve on that various committees that I’m on — umm — which are oversight committees. Let’s be clear. Those committees exist to watch and question what is going on with our government, the United States government. So, I’m on Senate Intelligence, I’m on Homeland Security, I’m on Judiciary and the accomplishment then is for me is a function of what I think my role should be.

You know who else was being positioned by Team Blue to be our next president and substituted resume points for accomplishment?

---

JournoList 2. But this time, we’re not even bothering to hide it.

A Boston newspaper is proposing a coordinated editorial response from publications across the U.S. to President Donald Trump’s frequent attacks on the news media.

“We are not the enemy of the people,” said Marjorie Pritchard, deputy managing editor for the editorial page of The Boston Globe… The newspaper’s request was being promoted by industry groups such as the American Society of News Editors and regional groups like the New England Newspaper and Press Association. It suggested editorial boards take a common stand against Trump’s words regardless of their politics, or whether they generally editorialized in support of or in opposition to the president’s policies.

I’m sorry, but this shit’s hilarious. Especially when viewed in light of amazingly lame rationalizations like this of transparently partisan attempts at doing hit pieces. And failing miserably, of course. But we’ll get that Roadrunner next time!

---

Old Guy Music is inevitable. And I’ll be brief: every time I hear Victor Wooten play, I wonder, “How the fuck does he DO that????”

I’ll be leaving in the wee hours tonight for a week in Atlanta, which vies for “My Least Favorite Place On Earth.” Visiting there always increases my admiration for General Sherman. While I’m gone, SP already has arranged to have my lab fumigated and our dog to be dyed in her school colors. Oh yes, and to eat the crop of tomatoes which is just starting to ripen, then taunt me with photos. So if I seem a bit crankier than usual today, you now know why.

Nonetheless, I’ll pretend to smile and offer up some links to news I think is worthy of discussion. But first, the birthday ritual. On this day was born Neil Armstrong, who didn’t punch anyone, okay quarterback Roman Gabriel, remarkable percussionist Airto Moreira, and Guinness Book Of World Records certified record holder for “Most Farts Per 24 Hour Period,” the Glibertarians’ own Sloopy. The long-suffering Banjos recalls the first time Sloopy demonstrated the flame trick. “He laid down on his back, swung his legs over his head like a yoga pose, pulled a cigarette lighter out of his pocket, held it near his butt, and lit a flame that could have cooked Quarrel. Sigh. I knew at that moment that this was the man for me!”

On to the news.

---

 

Funny how this aspect of one of the stupidest government subsidies (and there’s some fierce competition) was sorta just glossed over and forgotten until now.

“[A]ir quality modeling suggests that production and use of ethanol as fuel to displace gasoline is likely to increase such air pollutants as PM2.5, ozone, and SOx in some locations,” read a section of the report pertaining to air quality. While traditional gasoline contains more CO2, ethanol-based fuels have more nitrogen oxides (NOx), which can be more harmful to human health.

But without ethanol subsidies, how will presidential candidates manage to bribe the voters in early primaries? This is clearly a crisis, and this report must be suppressed for the good of everyone.

---

 

Our elections would be so much more interesting if campaigns were more like this.

Addressing the nation after the attack, Maduro said he saw a “flying device” explode in front of him during his speech. The president also announced that authorities have captured some people responsible for the drone attack, whom he called “material authors,” according to AP.

The president blamed the alleged assassination attempt on Colombian President Juan Manuel Santos and those on the far-right of Colombia and Venezuela’s political spectrums, according to Al Jazeera’s translation of Maduro’s speech.

Now THAT is meddling in elections, not the “Hey, someone said something on Facebook, omg omg omg!” South America, you’re doing it right.

---

 

I detect the fine hand of Pie here. Not the Pie character from Hat and Hair, but the European correspondent for Glibertarians.com.

The florescent pink graffiti that was painted on the Memorial House Elie Wiesel in Sighet in eastern Romania read “public toilet” and “Nazi Jew lying in hell with Hitler” as well as “Anti-Semite pedophile.”

The pink color was the giveaway. I can hear Pie snickering, “I want to see how they’ll blame this on Trump.” Well done, Pie, well done!

---

 

Apparently, the Iranians feel that they have an excess of small boats and want to have some of them blown out of the water for an insurance scam.

These military maneuvers are normally later in the year and heavily publicized by Iran. Not so these past few days. The only information about them has come US defense officials, describing “dozens of small boats” in a “massive military exercise.”

Interestingly, this piece is presented as straight news and not labeled as “opinion” or “analysis.”

They have plenty of potential targets — 20% of the world’s traded oil passes through it — so whoever advised President Donald Trump to unilaterally pull out of the multinational agreement to cut Iran’s pathway to making a nuclear bomb will have undoubtedly reminded him about the Strait of Hormuz. If they didn’t or he didn’t hear them, Trump is likely to learn a whole lot more about them now. The sanctions he triggered on Iran by pulling out of the deal are about to begin to come in to effect.

How anyone can’t see that CNN just reports the news straight with no biases is a mystery to me.

---

 

Those of us who remember the good days at Hit & Run fondly recall Lobster Girl. In the Department of Where Are They Now, an important update.

A Maine woman has been stripped of her title as 2018 Maine Lobster Festival Sea Goddess after a photo of her holding a marijuana cigarette was circulated within 24 hours of her being crowned…

Taylor Hamlin said she was told to sign a document saying she could no longer fulfill her duties. Organizers said the photos “were not in keeping with the behavior and image of the Maine Sea Goddess.” Crown Princess Erin Dugan will assume Sea Goddess duties.

The duties of a Sea Goddess are onerous and many. Taylor, you’re better off spending your days smoking weed. It’s legal in Maine now.

---

And now I’ll leave you with Old Guy Music. I am an unabashed fan of The Suitcase Junket. I don’t use the word “genius” lightly, but Matt Lorenz is a genius, manipulating sound the way Jackson Pollack manipulated paint. Seeing him live is an exhausting experience, just from the sheer energy and power of the performance. I don’t know how he does it.

I’m not going to get too fancy here because I was up far too late for a pervert my age. SP and I were watching a self-consciously arty French film, then moved on to a particularly cheezy old oater which featured a young Gabby Hayes. We immediately noticed a strong resemblance to The Late P Brooks, except that Hayes know how to thread. I came away with a burning desire to get a 10 gallon hat so that I could look like an old Jewish mushroom. It did not help that Spudalicious and I spent the evening texting each other tomato porn. On the bright side, we polished off a nice Gruet Brut and a better-than-nice Prunotto Nebbiolo d’Alba.

So anyway, that’s my excuse for a half-assed job today.

And today is the birthday of John Venn, the inventor of the Venn Diaphragm, birth control of many generations of mathematicians. Also Helen Thomas, the spirit animal for Jim Acosta. And Richard Belzer, one of my favorite comic actors. Oh yeah, and hack Chicago politician Barack Obama, who was the “Hold my beer!” answer to the question, “Could we possibly get a worse president than George W. Bush?”

On to the news of the hour:

 

Somehow, this escaped everyone’s notice.  You know, I did vote for SMOD for president.

A meteor hit the earth and exploded with 2.1 kilotons of force last month, but the US Air Force has made no mention of the event. NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory confirmed an object of unspecified size travelling at 24.4 kilometres per second struck earth in Greenland, just 43 kilometres north of an early missile warning Thule Air Base on the 25th of July, 2018.

What didn’t escape MY notice: the Fox “reporter” not knowing the difference between a meteor and a meteorite.

---

 

I love shit like this.

[T]op officials from the CIA, NSA, FBI and the Defense Intelligence Agency testified in front of the Senate Intelligence Committee that the Chinese smartphones makers posed a security threat to American customers. FBI Director Christopher Wray told the commitee the FBI is “deeply concerned that any company beholden to foreign governments that don’t share our values are not companies that we want to be gaining positions of power inside our telecommunications network.”

Funny thing, I don’t think it’s just foreign governments that don’t share my values.

---

 

I… don’t quite know what to make of this.

[Ray] Lewis said that he was such a force for good that his presence on the football field with the Ravens actually resulted in a reduction in crime in Baltimore. “When I played, crime went lower in Baltimore,” Lewis said, via Jamison Hensley of ESPN. “It’s like, nobody needs to be mad now. It’s like everybody wants to be happy and celebrate.”

Well, certainly crime decreased in Atlanta when Lewis was busy playing.

---

 

I know our commenters will have fun with this story.

The 24-year-old’s lawsuit claims that men watched pornography at the office and that the “server area” was used for masturbation. According to the complaint, “An intimate knowledge of the porn industry and lingo appeared to be a job requirement.”

Gives new meaning to the legal term “wrongful discharge.” Thank you, thank you, I’m here all week!

---

 

When is this guy going to die already?

McCain, 81, and those closest to him have not publicly revealed his long-term medical prognosis. His daughter cannot imagine a world without him, she told Glamour. “He’s the last person who needs to be sick now because I so need him here, fighting for all the things that we believe in,” she says. “I’m scared of America without him.”

Oh honey, we’ll manage somehow.

---

 

I’m still betting that this will be the Team Blue presidential nominee in 2020.

Shortly after she won a seat in the U.S. Senate in 2016, Kamala Harris said she expected to follow the traditional freshman lawmaker playbook: “Listen and watch, and kind of get a lay of the land.”

As opposed to the lay of Willie Davis.

---

 

Sigh. Cosmologist does a titty-grab, hysteria ensues.

The unnamed woman, who according to the report declined to be interviewed by investigators when the probe was first opened in the summer of 2017, did speak with them in March. She told them that “she did not feel victimized, felt it was a clumsy interpersonal interaction and thought she had handled it in the moment,” telling Krauss directly that his behavior was not OK. According to the report: “She also stated to the OEI investigator that the incident did not merit the man losing his career.”

I’m having trouble imagining what kind of shit Richard Feynman would find himself in if he were alive today.

---

 

Do you know who else’s birthday it is today? The subject of Old Guy Music. And I can’t really comment beyond, “Wow. Just wow.”

Links. This is what I do while all the goyim are off doing their polytheistic thing (“Oh no, it’s not three gods, it’s like a three in one. You’re a Jew, you wouldn’t understand. And put that hammer and those nails away.”).

There’s a lot of birthdays and historical anniversaries today, but as it was yesterday, one in particular stands out. It is the birthday of Don Marquis, the greatest American poet. A sample of why this is so (and the origin of the handle of one of our most beloved commenters) is here. I guess out of fairness to my deep love of jazz, I should also add that it’s Charlie Christian‘s birthday, he being the father of modern electric guitar. 75 years later, the music still resonates.

OK, enough frivolity, let’s get down to business.

---

 

In the Department of  TSA Delenda Est, apparently this absolutely useless, unaccountable, unconstitutional, and oppressive agency has been working overtime on new ways to wipe their asses with the 4th amendment. We can thank Bush for this monstrosity, may he burn painfully in Hell, right next to Ron and Nancy.

[U]nder Quiet Skies, thousands of unsuspecting Americans have been subjected to targeted airport and inflight surveillance, carried out by small teams of armed, undercover air marshals, government documents show. The teams document whether passengers fidget, use a computer, have a “jump” in their Adam’s apple or a “cold penetrating stare,” among other behaviors, according to the records.

The teams track citizens on domestic flights, to or from dozens of cities big and small — such as Boston and Harrisburg, Pa., Washington, D.C., and Myrtle Beach, S.C. — taking notes on whether travelers use a phone, go to the bathroom, chat with others, or change clothes, according to documents and people within the department.

I have no words. Only the famous Mencken quote.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

---

 

In the Department of Brainless Media Whores, we have David Hogg, the Israelis have Ahed Tamimi.

In January, Ahed was indicted for assaulting an officer and an IDF soldier, and for five other incidents in which she threw stones, and attacked and threatened security forces.

The Tamimi family and Palestinian activists are preparing a hero’s welcome for Ahed and her mother in Nabi Saleh. Dozens of family members and supporters are expected to receive the two upon their release at an IDF checkpoint near Tulkarm. Her father, Bassem Tamimi, said on Saturday that several Palestinian groups plan to celebrate the release of his daughter and wife. He said that the two will first head to Ramallah to lay a wreath at Yasser Arafat’s mausoleum in the Palestinian Authority Mukata presidential compound.

Later in the day, Tamimi is scheduled to hold a press conference in the Beduin village of Khan al-Ahmar, near the Jewish settlement of Ma’aleh Adumim.

My predictions: Ameh will soon be on a Team Blue Tour in the US, standing with She Guevara. And Bassem is finally going to get laid again. Win-win.

---

 

I loved living in Austin. There really was a delightful craziness which I attribute to the presence of a huge university and enough heat to cook people’s brains. And they never, ever disappoint.

The Equity Office also suggests eschewing the name “Austin” altogether, as Stephen F. Austin fought to defend slavery in the Texas Revolution and supported the institution after the state gained its independence from Mexico.

The office also suggests the city reconsider the name of some of Austin’s most recognizable streets, parks and landmarks – including Pease Park, Barton Springs, and Bouldin and Waller creeks – but not before input from Council and the public. The Equity Office says those second-tier suggestions honor figures who weren’t directly tied to the Confederacy, but may represent “segregation, racism, and/or slavery.”

Chance of this actually happening: zero. But a bunch of tax leeches get to justify their jobs and morally preen. Win-win again!

---

 

Speaking of my former homes, California continues to make me feel good about getting out after spending most of my adult life there.

California’s Supreme Court ruled that employers must pay workers for the time they spend completing off-the-clock tasks, such as locking up after work. A federal law, called the Fair Labor Standards Act, generally allows companies to avoid compensating employees for time spent on duties the law describes as trivial or too difficult to track.

In its majority opinion, the California Supreme Court said the federal rule does not apply in the state when it comes to certain off-the-clock tasks performed by employees. It’s the result of a six-year legal battle between Starbucks and Douglas Troester, a California worker who sued the company for not paying him for closing tasks that he said took four to 10 additional minutes after he clocked out each day. Over the 17 months of Troester’s employment at Starbucks, the unpaid time added up to more than $100, according to court documents.

Shaun Setareh, one of the attorneys who represented Troester, said it amounted to “wage theft.” “It’s basically skimming off of people’s paychecks for the benefit of fattening the wallets of CEOs and stockholders of major corporations,” he said.

No way that this ruling is intended to open up the legal process for abuse and fattening up the wallets of lawyers and straw plaintiffs. That would be cynical. On the bright side, it was Starbucks.

---

 

More news from one of my former homes:

What do you get when there’s links lacking the depth of Sloopy’s, the creativity and formatting of SP’s, the sly snark (and equally great formatting) of WebDom’s, the Spanish of Mexican Sharpshooter’s, the trilingual classiness of Swiss’s, the conciseness of Brett’s, and the rape of STEVE SMITH’s? You get mine. Old, creaky, and cheap.

Before jumping into the news, I just wanted to share something that amused me. Some Amazon reviews. No, not the intentionally funny ones from the 55 gallon drums of personal lube or the wolf-moon t-shirt, but ones where the reviewers were totally serious. In this case, it was for the brand of veggie burgers that SP and I had for dinner last night. They’re a remarkable product of food science, and despite being (so I’m told) disturbingly realistic imitations of ground up cow corpse patties, are 100% vegan. Well, there’s an invitation for self-righteous delight!

Not vegan !!!

By Amazon Customer on May 21, 2018

Verified Purchase

Products like these that contain “Palm oil” are NOT VEGAN, as they contribute to animal killings in this case with the extinction of MONKEYS…
Wildlife such as orangutans have been found buried alive, killed from machete attacks, guns and other weaponry. Government data has shown that over 50,000 orangutans have already died as a result of deforestation due to palm oil in the last two decades. This either occurs during the deforestation process, or after the animal enters a village or existing palm oil plantation in search of food. Mother orangutans are also often killed by poachers and have their babies taken to be sold or kept as pets, or used for entertainment in wildlife tourism parks in countries such as Thailand and Bali.

Wherever did people get the idea that vegans are prissy, humorless twits rather than deeply concerned and serious thinkers?

And screw all those other birthdays, today is the birthday of the great Phil Proctor. “Oh, Porgie, oh my oh my oh my!”

---

Everybody needs a hobby. But for shit’s sake, if it’s upskirting, you have to do it right. Flash is not a good idea.

The video footage taken on July 5, 2016, contains five segments, put together as part of the Metro Police Transit Department investigation into (senior Obama administration official) Mendoza’s conduct…

In the far left of the shot you can see him getting closer to the woman on the escalator, bending down and the light on his cell phone turning on. You can then see the flash from the camera as he takes the photo…

According to Department of Education documents, Mendoza tried to take photos and videos up women’s skirts at least four times on his government-issued iPhones in July 2016 without their consent. When he took the indecent photos, he was supposed to be at work and was using a travel card funded by the taxpayer, according to the documents obtained by DailyMail.com through a Freedom of Information Act request.

It’s guys like him who give perverts a bad name. Still, that’s not the part that struck me as interesting. What was interesting was that the story was entirely unreported despite the high profile and the click-friendly salaciousness. It only came out now because of FOIA requests. You don’t think it was because he was in a Team Blue administrations, do you? Don’t you think that if a Team Red guy was caught doing the same thing, the news media would be just as happy to bury it out of a deep concern for the guy’s well-being? Of course, because their job is just to report, not cover up for people on their Team and go totally hysterical about people on the other Team.

---

What could be better proof of the stupidity of an entire generation than eating laundry detergent and making stars out of some rather empty-headed rich kids who happened to be at a crime scene? Maybe this.

Drake fans are jumping out of moving vehicles for a viral challenge and the National Transportation Safety Board is reminding the public that that is a bad idea…

Unfortunately, since it went viral, a shocking amount of challenge participants have taken things to a dangerous (and stupid) level by jumping out of moving cars as opposed to just dancing next to parked ones.

What was the old joke about why Polish dogs have flat heads?

---

Speaking of flat heads, delightful irony abounds.

In recent months, Moonves has become a prominent voice in Hollywood’s #MeToo movement. In December, he helped found the Commission on Eliminating Sexual Harassment and Advancing Equality in the Workplace, which is chaired by Anita Hill. “It’s a watershed moment,” Moonves said at a conference in November. “I think it’s important that a company’s culture will not allow for this. And that’s the thing that’s far-reaching. There’s a lot we’re learning. There’s a lot we didn’t know.”

Clearly.

---

If you’re going to do immigration, do it right.

Nude sunbathers watched in confusion as the group of more than 30 migrants sprinted into a surrounding forest to evade the pursuing Spanish border guards. The migrants had just crossed the strait of Gibraltar having sailed from the coast of Morocco.

A spokesman for the Guardia Civil police force in Ceuta said the migrants managed to climb over the double barrier, which is covered in small blades. He said they scrambled over “all of a sudden, with much violence”.

Come for the titties, stay for the welfare.

---

Summer is the best time to ramp up the OMG PANIC!!! PANIC!!! stories about the imminent immolation of the earth.

“You see roads melting, airplanes not being able to take off, there’s not enough water,” said Katharine Hayhoe, director of the Climate Science Center at Texas Tech University. “Climate change hits us at our Achilles’ heel. In the Southwest, it’s water availability. On the Gulf Coast, it’s hurricanes. In the East, it’s flooding. It’s exacerbating the risks we already face today.”

Gone are the days when scientists drew a bright line dividing weather and climate. Now researchers can examine a weather event and estimate how much climate change had to do with causing or exacerbating it.

Sure they can. Suuuuure.

---

Well, sometimes to have to give in to the inevitable. And that means Old Guy Music. And the theme really fits. These guys got it in 1972, before most of you kids were even your daddies’ boners. Bonzo was a fantastic band, way ahead of their time, that has sadly faded into obscurity.