Author: Brett L

Today, my youngest son — the “Ted” half of Bill & Ted — turned 3. Happy birthday to this future shitlord, who shows all signs of becoming a cis-hetero white male. If he chooses to identify as something else, he’ll always be my little T. Wrecks. And, its Friday people. Let’s all get wreck’d.

This Paul Manafort trial is a fucking circus. As some people like to point out, the process IS the punishment

Canada is going to fall out of favor with the gun control lobby if these mass shootings keep happening.

Lots and lots (and lots!) of caveats, but The Verge dares pose the question — is there actually any proof that nicotine alone in a moderate dose is in any way harmful.

And withdrawing from nicotine is awful: “Anxiety, depression, irritability, hunger, weight gain — all of those are symptoms of nicotine withdrawal, which are unpleasant. So that sums it up,” Leventhal says.

These people have never seen some of my coworkers suffering acute caffeine withdrawal.

Red Tide creeping up towards me. Turrists unphased. Around here, if there aren’t a bunch of dead fish and it doesn’t smell like a whore’s crotch at the end of her shift, its okay to go in the water.

Alright, y’all. Let’s get it on! Happy weekend.

I watched that video and had to wonder — what happened to the bongos player in T. Rex after Mark Bolan died? Can you imagine interviewing him to join the next band. “Right then, what do you do?” “Well, I play the bongos and sing the high parts.”

Under crushing deadline from work, and my kids haven’t slept worth a crap this week. Friday afternoon has come too late… I started drinking at 11:30 this morning. I’m not sure this will help my productivity, but I FEEL better about the work I’m doing. How the hell are all of you? It made me wish the flavor of string theory with infinite little pocket dimensions were true. I’d set one up with a sweet little bedroom and nap every fucking day. Zero seconds lost in this universe. Get on this, eggheads!

Here’s a list of the oldest building in every US state. Europe has underwear older than any of these.

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, BBC ponders whether Heathers is too much for today’s sensitivities. Name one other movie in the 80s featuring parental acceptance homosexual male behavior (and implied incest). Or one that offered such a hand up to the disabled as the ending. Ahead of its time, not insensitive

Every man has a mother, and every mother thinks its someone else’s fault when her son goes bad.

Thankfully, libertarians have the magic power of the autism spectrum to protect themselves from this new tactic in the robot uprising.

A lot of mid-90s pop is not as good as I remember it. This one is at least fun.

As everyone can see (and Pie commented on), ZARDOZ stole my thunder. I couldn’t seem to get it through his thick head that I had already claimed that story. I was holding fine against his threat of cleansing, but then he produced some pictures of that time I went as Zed for Halloween. Meth is a hell of a drug and I was assured those pictures were destroyed.

At any rate, as ZARDOZ said, we are going to keep hosting files and posting links that make the idiotic pointlessness of trying to ban information from being posted on the Internet. Here is a link to CodeIsFreeSpeech.com, which has CAD files of guns available to download. Here is a link to ZARDOZ’s post, where you can find the same set of files hosted separately.

And now… the links

You’ll be surprised to find out that corners of the Internet have more crazy than the day room at your local mental institution. And of course WaPo is reporting on this because it is a gripping issue affecting everyone. No, just kidding, it’s just a chance for them to associate crazy people and Donald Trump.

Good news guys, commercial fusion is only 20 years away!

Ruh, roh, Sloopy. #metoo is coming for Urban Meyer. For not firing a wife-beater coach. IMO, who else is going to teach those kids the line between correcting your woman and punching her out in a casino elevator?

If you’re OMWC, 911 is a joke. (Because he’s in Chicago, not because he… oh never mind)

That gave me the act, I picked a different song.

Special thanks to STEVE SMITH for stepping up to the plate this morning. The 70s really were a strange time. Also special thanks to whoever brought up fish and grits in the comments yesterday. I realized today that I had bacon, grits, and fish. That was a heck of a good lunch. Also my wife made me breakfast and mowed the lawn, so I suppose I will get a big-ticket item request today or tomorrow.

What part of “It’s a 1A right” don’t you get?

Elderly are getting into the hot car asphyxiation racket. You’ll never believe the weird twist.

According to my father, this is what Mass used to look like in his Nana’s church in Brooklyn.

I assume this site is totally not credible, but it fits my biases.

Sorry, no time to look for music today, some genius decided our Azure DB needed FB data center levels of performance and the client was pretty shocked at the bill. I’ve been spinning like a sales-guy in a delivery meeting all afternoon.

Today is the last Monday in July. You know what that means. Today is Web Dominatrix’s birthday. Also, I got tired of seeing the permalink say “monday-afternoon-links-37”. I don’t know what everyone else did this weekend, but I ended up driving to Century, FL. For those who don’t know, Century is a pistol shot from Alabama to the north, and a rifle shot from Alabama to the west. I use firearms-based distances because I was visiting a prison. Warty told me I might be a redneck if I spend a whole weekend going to visit a family member in prison. Anyhow, I did the family thing, my youngest son got to see his grandfather for the first time since the boy was weeks old — he’s now weeks from being three. Its not the most fun, but it isn’t a terrible thing for my kids to understand just how much even visiting prison sucks, much less having to stay there. I will say that (for the first time ever) I encountered not a single surly or power-tripping guard. They all were professional, and a couple were downright polite. I’m assuming it was my kids’ winning personalities that brought out the best in them.

There was no Sportzball update, so let me get that in: Cleveland Browns picked as “most likely to improve” by ESPN. Glad that the egg-head statisticians have pointed out that regression to the mean is on the Browns’ side. OMWC’s benighted Orioles won a game and scored 11 runs. Save some of those for a close loss, boys. Red Sox and Yanquis won, too. Indians, Big Red Machine, Marlins, Braves, Mets, Blue Jays, Rangers, Rockies, Mariniers, Giants, D-Backs, and Cubbies won. AL MVP Jose Altuve went on the DL for the first time in his career. Apparently, he fell off  the step stool he uses to reach the top shelf of his locker and hurt his knee.

Kangaroo food riots in Australia. When they start kicking people down and stealing their food, the Aussies will wish they hadn’t lost all those rifles in freak boating accidents. Or start blasting kangaroos.

I’m interested in the legal point of this one. Can a union member wear a union shirt in an ad supporting a political proposition the union opposes? The libertarian in me says he can wear any shirt he owns while making an advertisement. The union contends he is misleading the public into believing that the union supports the position by doing so. Can police departments then send take-down notices of officers shooting dogs in uniform?

Florida Reporter kills me with this headline: “Six people in St. Petersburg receive medical treatment after smell of carbon monoxide”. Carbon monoxide is an odorless, colorless gas. Most likely a CO detector alerted.

Bank of America acts like a giant bank, pisses off customer with bureaucracy.

Is it Thursday already? Time flies on a tequila and meth bender. I’m a little surprised to find myself in the county and state in which I reside. Used to be I’d end up at least two states away, possibly in an ER. Getting old is Hell.

The fucking French cops are just killing it at the TdF this year.

In case you have any doubt that Florida is the Australia of North America. Hookworms look like a real bitch. Let this be a lesson to you. Do not get buried in the sand at the beach. You never know what kind of kitty has been using it as their sandbox. (Hey, I checked — according to the article these are animal and not human hookworms — don’t blame Florida Man for shitting on the beach)

This is a big fucking disaster. At first I was kind of meh about it. Everybody was an asshole here. On reflection, I think you should have to convince a jury that your actions were reasonable. I don’t know what I would do if some random Florida Man was yelling at my wife as she was getting out of our car when I came out of a store. I happen to read the current law the same way as the local sheriff — if the shooter never threatened the woman with force, SYG still applies — although had the man who was shot drawn a gun and used it, it isn’t clear to me that such a shooting wouldn’t also be covered by having reasonable fear for his wife’s safety or life.

It’s good to see the Evangelicals joining the woke. I’m really glad the first two times I met my wife, mutual friends were able to provide character references. I really can’t imagine doing it any other way. (Note: the article is a tongue in cheek reaction to an even more fun article. Go on down that rabbit hole if you dare.)

Amazon facial recognition tool “wrongly” identifes 28 Congresscritters as police suspects. Does anyone else think 5% is a little low?

I’m no robophobe, but these are some creepy damn shots of sex dolls being manufactured (NSFW Warning: robot boobies below the fold. Do not scroll if your boss wouldn’t like robotits)

I’ve decided to expand my musical horizons today. I hope HM will be proud.

Since everyone else is still recovering from tequila binges (and don’t have a culture of methamphetamine use), I’m up for today’s Morning Links as well. Lemme see…

In sports, Cards beat the Wee Red Machine, Balmer took one from the BoSox, Phils walk off against LA in 16, Twins, Pirates, Mets, Wankees, A’s, D’backs, Brew Crew, Royals, White Sox (did I read that right?), Giants and World Champion Astros all won.

Today’s birthdays include some British dude named Balfour, Walter Payton, Iman, idiot who played himself Matt LeBlanc, Fun musician Roger Creager, and the world’s first test tube baby Louise Brown.

On this day in 1394 Jews were expelled from France and in 1587 Christians were expelled from Japan. Napoleon beat the Ottomans, the Crittenden Resolution passes and Civil War becomes inevitable in the US.

I totally forgot that Chucky is coaching again this year. This is gonna be a great trainwreck.

She sure showed them! Woman ticketed for 92 in a 75 runs it up to 140 leaving traffic stop. Perhaps most surprisingly, no one was shot.

Half of publicly available government spending data is wrong.

This proves everything I believe about state workers. It must be true!

Racist Warren supporters in Massachusetts? No. Next you’ll tell me the KKK was mostly Democrats.

Its a love or hate band.

I may have over-reacted yesterday, as there’s been no more cannibalism or murder than usual in my neck of the woods. But 65% humidity in July? It seemed likely that the world was ending. Instead, I am in meeting Hell. I must have joined an Agile group because we spend more time in status meetings than working. I’d go become a teacher or work in healthcare, but the previous post leads me to believe that I’d be racing the heat death of the universe to make that change.

Homemade GUNZ is now a favorite of CRIMINALZ!!! Says a former BATFE employee with no statistics to back him up. The Ghostgunner and parts are significantly more expensive than driving to the gun show and buying one cash on the barrelhead.

I love the TdF — Cops pepper-spray protesting farmers and crash the race. They should just send out Presidential aides in riot gears.

Rocket Man taking down his launch pad?

Eric Holder? Eric Holder is going to run for President in 2020? I want Trump’s enemies.

We had a cold front blow in about 4am this morning. Like a for-real fall cold front with incredible lightning and thunder. Also the temperature hit the low 70s and will probably not exceed the low 80s today. This is very weird weather for July. Very weird. So like any good Florida Man, I am preparing for the end of the world and Fimbulwinter. This may be our last links together. I am gathering closed-toed shoes and pants in case winter arrives. I have dug out several sweat shirts. I am collecting firewood from the downed branches. Stay tuned for further notices if possible.

Archer presages reality. With perfectly safe, absolutely non-flammable helium, this is the slowest way to fly across the Atlantic. Also, as yet not proven safely able to operate for the three days it would take to cross.

John Brennan still has a security clearance?

I asked STEVE SMITH about this, and he says no cryptozoological creatures were involved. Probably just horrible humans.

Papa John’s Corporation would rather destroy shareholder value than let John Schnatter take over. Let’s see if they can destroy the whole company.

In honor of Papa John, here’s a fun one.

My wife took our kids to do a weekend with some family. So I’m free as a bird chained to the refrigerator with just enough length to reach the kitchen, bathroom, and couch. And she expects the house clean, lawn mowed, and several various house chores done by the time she gets back. On the other hand, every time I complete a task, the fridge dispenses another beer. Not sure if this is the best of all worlds or a punishment. Its all so confusing. Like pegging.

Is this peak #MAGA?– Texas, Chik-fil-A, Trump 2020 shirt. Bingo!

Is Seattle bohemian culture being killed by the tech industry? Killed by it? Who the fuck do you think funded it for the last 30 years? Featuring a woman who used got by on her body in the 80s and 90s. Uh, darlin’ entropy is a an especially tyrannical bitch to the beautiful. Sorry.

Trump’s lawyer is an idiot. Making recordings of your clients without their knowledge is a bad idea. KEEPING recordings of them discussing what seem to me to be essentially “structuring” payments once it becomes an issue seems stupider.

If I were this kid, I would have played the long con. You know how many sets of tits he could have touched at 17 by being “gay”? On the other hand, this is probably a better way to healthy separation from his crazy mom.

Six injuries? Where’s the Teutonic pride in a job done right?

My refrain for the day.