Author: Brett L

Hey guys, I hope your day is going better than Whitey Bulger’s. Shanking an 89 year old in prison, that’s pretty damn rough. My worst complaint is there’s lots of work and a new Laundry Files book from Charlie Stross that I might have to wait until this weekend to read. And work. Did I mention fuck work?

Oh look, more unconfirmable allegations about sex — this time a woman alleging she was offered money by a person who identified himself as a GOP activist to make fake allegations against Robert Mueller, but won’t correspond with the reporters except by letter so “portions of the story have gone unconfirmed”. My bullshit meter is pinging.

Florida Man records himself on a 20-Life string of rape and assorted sexual violence charges. Not even Florida prosecutors should be able to fuck this one up.

Unhackable network? Only if no humans ever get to use it. “Pas$w0rd” is still not going to be a good password.

Hey guys, you’ll all be astonished to learn that 62% of jobs don’t provide a middle class living. Uh yeah, that’s why its so advantageous to have 2 workers in a single house-hold if you’re not gonna be rich. Note the important caveat though “after accounting for standard of living”.

Fun song, funnier video. It looks like they’ve been threatened with violence if they move off their marks. “We’re doing one take, and if you fuck it up, you’re out of the movie”. Man, I really shit the bad on that link. Sorry.

Hi guys, work is getting crazy up here, so excuse me if I link and run.

Woman who had belly button removed regrets procedure. This may be peak non-fatal “fuck you, dad”.

I just can’t quit Elon Musk’s space-nerd porn. (SFW)

Can it get any richer than serial legitimizer of dictator’s elections, Jimmy Carter, calling on the GA Secretary of State to resign? Jimmy, your heart may be in the right place, but you’ve had your head all the way up your ass on this issue for 30+ years.

I’m hoping this was one of you guys, running a Ron Swanson-style campaign of benevolent incompetence and mayhem. If so, we’ll start a GoFundMe for you.

No rest for the Working Man.

Ugh. So tired. Have some links.

I hope everyone on this site will take a deep breath at the arrest of Florida Man, broke, bad at being a criminal, and apparently living in a Trump-bestickered van down by the river for the attempted bombings of several Democrats and decidedly pro-Democrat news outlets and personas. Angry, earnest and idiot won again. As much as it would confirm our own worldview to suspect dirty tricks and false-flag operations, every time those start circulating it degrades the credibility of actual conspiracies and cover ups. Like the Las Vegas shooting.

Speaking of Florida Men, the worst part about our electoral system is that I almost always have to choose between two of them* to decide whom I will be ruled by.

Oh, Hell. Let’s just make it Florida Man Friday. Here’s one who tried to beat a gator to death with a shovel. There’s a reason Swamp People use a gun, Florida Man.

Florida Man substitute teacher drops gun from pocket while teaching kids to do a backflip. One the one hand, that’s too bad, because those kids will be less safe, on the other hand, its definitely not safe gun handling to perform manuevers that cause it to drop from wherever you were storing it.

I guess I didn’t know until today this guy was Florida Man, but it totally makes sense.

*I usually write someone else in, vote for another Florida Man who is never going to win enough votes, or refuse to choose entirely

Hey guys, y’all tell me what’s good, because I don’t have anything to add today. I’m still… digesting… SugarFree’s latest story. So far I’ve vomited twice.

“It Just Got Easier to Make Hordes of Blood Cell-Sized Robots All at Once” — Huge progress, whether towards Utopia or Dystopia is difficult to say. I have been fascinated by the Drexlerian vision of nanotechnology since I first discovered it in… 2002? For those of you who don’t know about Eric Drexler, his ideas on diamondoid carbon chemistry, atomically precise mechanical assembly and how that might affect the future are basically the foundation of Neal Stephenson’s The Diamond Age.

“Pipe Bombs” sent to Clintons, Obamas, and CNN. I’m not a conspiracy theorist, but why would anyone target three groups that are waning in power? Oh, right, the type of people who mail pipe-bombs are idiots.

“It was for the girls”, Roger Daltry claims about The Who’s instrument smashing antics. I am strangely moved by his heartbreak over seeing a perfectly good guitar smashed.

Well, these Florida Girls have the Mean Girl thing down. Now we need a re-write of Heathers where the Heathers are the killers and Veronica and JD are fighting them.

How about a song from The Who with great shots of Bonham just absolutely smashing the kit.

Howdy, y’all. Nothing has happened since the last time we checked in except that my eldest son has the diving part of soccer down pat. Also, he and the best athlete in his group (team?) had a decent shoulder-to-shoulder fair charge for a ball. The problem is, they were on the same team. Its still a work in progress, but he’s not coordinated enough to catch a baseball, so this is intro to team sports 101. The coaches out there are saints. Saints. Oh, but I picked up a sixer of Cigar City Oktoberfest. I’ll let y’all know in the comments if it is any good.

Links? I thought about running a couple of Sloopy’s since he’s been running my regularly the morning after. I assume if he’s awake he’s drunk after the way OSU quit when Purdue started running the ball in the 4th quarter, so I’m going to cut him some slack this week.

Trump gets another Supreme Court pi… what? She retired during W’s administration? Never mind. More seriously, I don’t wish that on anyone, even Supreme Court justices who completely bludgeoned the law of the land to keep educational affirmative action alive.

Most innumerate article ever? “We sold over 300M lottery tickets for this draw, there are 302M possible combinations. 75% of the possible combinations have been picked”. I’ll need A Leap at the Wheel’s help on this, but that sounds not fantastically out of statistical bounds.

OMG! Gorsuch is going let Trump count black bodies as 3/5 of a person in the next census! Just kidding. They blocked a deposition of a Federal official in a case about whether or not it is or should be legal to ask whether or not a respondant is a US citizen in the 2020 census. So they ask your age, ethnicity, race, and income, but they can’t ask citizenship status? T/W Slate. Holy cow, there are so many stolen bases it looks like a late-80s baseball game.

Also from the “That sonofabitch Trump” files: EPA cheers 2.7% decrease in US GHG emissions. Algore has a sad.

I always wanted a pair of glasses that would display the date as a HUD. SMDH. Maybe it can also display my heart rate and a bunch of other shit I don’t need for 99.9% of my day. Outside of professional use, smart glasses are a solution in search of a problem, and even inside professional settings, Its probably most useful for truck drivers.

I dunno, I’m going Motown today.

I actually managed to (somewhat) catch up on rest this weekend. It was great. And I only had to donate a little bit of blood to get the dryer back together. Angle brackets made for the inside of machines are still sharp. I knew this, but it still got me. There’s that second where you don’t take a deep breath and think and then you’re bleeding and you’ve got a good minute to think about how that wasn’t the smartest thing you ever did while you go look for a band-aid so you don’t bleed on the laundry room floor while you finish.

I also went to the zoo Saturday night for some Halloween themed thingy. The younger one took off running one point and was out of sight for more than a minute. Which, for a three-year old in a crowded place, was pretty traumatic — for his mother. Turns out that he couldn’t find a family of apes or humans who were better than the one he has already, so he came back. Completely oblivious to the fact that his mother was frantic. So she paid him back by taking him on the water-slide ride — telling himself the whole time “it not scawy”. Right on little man. Feel the fear and do it anyways.

Vlad Pootie-Poo promises more Russian military vapor-ware if US pulls out of missile treaty. Maybe a secret Doomsday device?

Pot-bellied pig (the 4 legged-kind) apprehended by local police. I guess professional courtesy is why they didn’t just shoot it like a dog.

Posted just so I could type “headless chicken monster”.

Who do you think got off more on this, her or him?

I don’t think “I dodge taxes just like Trump” is going to go far in 2020. This guy is going to get himself disbarred and start a referral business that will never be as big [reference to litigious Texas former lawyer removed by legal]

Sadly my wife has never been the short skirt, long jacket type, but she makes up for it in other ways.

Happy Friday, everyone. I’m taking apart a dryer. Hooray. Just what I wanted to do after four grueling weeks of work. But seriously, if its a $7 thermostat, I’m going to count it a win, and if it isn’t, I’ll throw all the pieces in the drum and have the whole damn thing carted off. Congratulations to the Red Sox. Its easy to see how they won 106 games. Keep on with the circus catches against the NL, please.

Listen, if you win the lottery tonight, please send us $50.

101 year old man, still working, credits Dr. Pepper for long life. I’d rather die young, but to each his own.

Men, its your fault women get fat.

I don’t really understand this. NPCs? Non-player Characters? What?

Roundup gets another day in court.

This has been in my head all week, now you can have it.

I need to pay closer attention to my boss’s flight times. Everyone else’s flight was gone by 3:00. Me, I have an 8:00 exit. Time to get airport drunk. Woohoo! Home at midnight. Its a glamorous life. As usual during travel, I have been in meetings all damn day so please excuse any repeats.

I have this 4 Billion year old fossil rock. I feel like there’s a paleontologist’s divorce behind all this. “Oh, yeah! That rock is worth more than everything else I have, and I sure don’t want to lose it to my ex.”

I see Florida Man’s cousin Tennessee Man now has gators to wrassle with along with meth, opioids, and alcohol.

I’m going with there are only assholes in this story.

Oh. And That was a home run. Clown call, bro.

No music today, sorry.

Hi everyone. I’m mailing it in today as I go from one meeting to another. Forgive me if you posted these somewhere.

Boston sports team complaining about cheating? The irony, the irony.

Its always nice to see the next town over from me in the news. Florida Woman, wins the day.

Amazing how fast the cops solved this mystery of the Missing Doughnut Van.

Good-bye Big Bird. You are a creepy, creepy puppet.

I can’t believe you guys pretended like you were disappointed there weren’t enough links yesterday. If this is where you get your news, its all rapesquatches and destruction.

Vox takes a paste-eating, “burn it all down” approach to the Brett Kavanaugh appointment. Trigger warning: Vox

Wow, me and Elizabeth Warren agree on something. John Kerry IS a giant asshole. But probably not wrong here.

If this happened in Florida, someone would be dead. But UK, so this clown got away.

Guys, do we really WANT robots to be able to climb stairs?

Of all the things that I thought would happen to the GOP under Trump, growing a set of balls is the last thing I suspected. My feeling is that there’s a polarity swap happening between the Stupid and the Evil parties.

Its been a crazy week at work, and I feel about as weird and strung out as this.