Author: Brett L

Happy New Year’s Eve, Glibertariat. I’m making barbecue because we don’t have anything truly great around here. Sonny’s is serviceable, but no Killen’s. Chef Steps brisket, 2 racks of baby back ribs, sausage, and fixins. We’re having some friends with kids over and my family. There should be lots of eating, shrieking, and probably some crying.

John Kelly provides one final service as Chief of Staff, waving red meat in front of the news mags on the border wall so that Trump can talk tough about it some more.

The Woodstock 50th Anniversary concert should be about the smuggest event of 2019.

Guatamalan family sues Universal Orlando after man ignores English warning sign, dies. I was frankly shocked to find out they didn’t have signs in Spanish, German, and Japanese.

Why does the NIH have armed agents?

Howdy, howdy. I hope everyone is enjoying the WAWR post. Today it was “Desigining Great Azure Solutions” by M$. Gotta keep up with the certifications for one more cycle and then I can hopefully retire to management where I won’t be the type who says “the way we used to do it is…”. The good news is, I didn’t make any major mistakes with the way I did the one that got me the experience. The bad news is, I still have to pass stupid M$ tests. On the homefront, I got the makings for a NYE barbecue. 7.5lb of brisket, 2 racks of baby back ribs, 2 sausages. I will be doing black-eyed peas instead of the more traditional (to the Texas barbecue I will be cooking) pinto beans. Holy meat coma, Batman.

Jezebel writers gather in FL near me. (I’m goin’ to hell for that one)

Its crazy how the world has changed. A tour bus full of Vietnamese tourists was bombed in Egypt. I’m glad I got to see it when I did, although all too briefly. My driver for one excursion was a Coptic Christian. He had an interesting take on things (in 2010). My favorite part was when we were driving back to the hotel, there was a big rally?protest? I asked him what was going on, he says, “Oh that’s a thing for Mubarak. Even if he steps down, it’ll just be his son who takes over.” I said deadpan, “yeah, we never have sons take over for their fathers in America.” He laughed his ass off at that.

Well, the bad news is Florida Woman will be leading the House panel on climate change. The good news is, I can be certain that Citizen’s Insurance (insurer of last resort in FL, and my insurer) will have the full faith and credit of the HoR.

Trump’s EPA moves to lower American IQs.

Let’s see if I can get you an actual music video today.

Well, some days, its easy to be the hero at work. Today, two lines of javascript, taken almost verbatim from Teh Googles. Once upon a time programmers needed to actually know things. Now we have a global exo-brain that only requires that you know how search for things. Strangely, demand remains high. Oh well. Also, my kids have been home for six days and we have five more to go. So this is the one week each year I wish I had an office to commute to.

Someone in Bal’mer got $500 for turning in a metal tube at a gun buyback. (TW: Zerohedge)

KDW continues to deny he loves libertarian/anarchism, even though he’s agin’ the same things they’re agin’.

Instagram “accidentally” rolled out a horizontal scroll and it was the end of the world! I mean, not for me because I’m not a user.

This is one bad-ass man. Not only is he the first to solo cross Antarctica, but he skied the last 80 miles in one 32 hour push. What were his plans after completing this feat of bad-assery? Oh, he’s just gonna hang around Antarctica alone for couple more days until the other guy who is making a solo crossing shows up. No mention of how much it costs for the special suit to keep his huge brass balls warm.

I’ve always loved the guitar sounds on this.

Well, I’m pretending to work, because why waste a vacation day when nobody else is around to verify my productivity? So y’all get links! Merry Christmas to those who celebrate, enjoy your day off for those that don’t. My Christmas is already complete. My mother declared my version of Ina Garten’s seafood chowder her “favorite meal” last night. It is damn good. I’m not at all sure it will be better than the prime rib she is making tonight, but its nice to have a family meal tradition that my mother enjoys that doesn’t involve her slaving away. As to why we made it on the 23rd, my mother-in-law is in town, but won’t stay for Christmas dinner and my wife talked up the meal so much that MiL really wanted to participate. I think that’s cool. And tonight I will bury myself in my mother’s chocolate covered cherries handed down from her mother. What are your holiday meal traditions?

Mattis performs one last act of obedience to orders given by his CiC before he leaves.

Axl Rose, fanboy of Ayn Rand. Hard to say which one is more self-indulgent, but I see why he could relate to her.

Here’s a nice Christmas story. It made my eyes sweat just a little.

Hey, Florida Man, I think you went to the well one too many times. Sure was nice of the church to leave that truck for him to load all their gear in and pawn it. Santa don’t visit the jail.

Time for the traditional Xmas song.

Hi guys, how’s it going? I’ve officially hit the work lull. Nobody’s bothering me and its almost better than being off. My father and I did our annual Christmas lunch of oysters on the half shell and other seafood. It’s a nice tradition. I hope we do it for 20 more years.

STEVE SMITH VOW VENGEANCE! ALTHOUGH HIM MUST ADMIT, SHOOT STEVE FIRST, ASK QUESTIONS LATER PROBABLY BEST WAY TO PREVENT RAPE.

And some Glibs like the thicc, and others dig otters. Here is a thicc otter for them.

The Brits call out the Army to quell drone threat near Gatwick. Whoever is flying the drones is an asshole, but the Army?

Now that the FedGov is going to get money from Juul via Altria, I assume the witchhunt will slow down until more extortion is needed.

Time for one of my favorite Christmas songs.

Hi everyone. Thanks for your generosity yesterday. I might have accidentally slept through the afternoon links. I had a long week, and yesterday was the first time in a long while that I had no due date bearing down on me. Or there was more fentanyl than usual in my bag of heroin. It was a pretty epic nap that just happened to coincide with leaving the money bleg up longer. Anyhow, I’ve more or less been awake and at work all day today, so here’s some links.

The Fed is fucking Trump. Or, you know, raising the cost of borrowing money when it appears that demand and supply are mis-matched. Your call.

Paul Ryan says absolutely nothing of substance in his farewell address. In that respect, it is much like his time as Speaker. Bye, Felicia.

I’m confused about the difference between an entirely pre-fabricated “tiny house” on wheels and a trailer. I don’t seem to be able to come up with a criteria to differentiate besides “will hipsters pay too much to live in a trailer?”

The Florida Man disease is spreading.

I hate each and everyone of you, so I got you a shitty song just to put some random new pop in the mix.

On the first day of Glibmas, my nightmares gave to me: This tasty gem by SugarFree

‘Tis the season to get blind-drunk and vomit while muttering “The horror, the horror”. Its not a lot of fun to try to follow that, so I’m just gonna mail it in. My kids were sick all weekend while my wife was out of town. If you want to devise a sleep-deprivation torment, alternate having one wake up screaming every few hours from fever dreams and then have the little one ninja in and wake you up in between.

Have a moral panic over teen vaping complete with pictures of a disfiguring scar from a lithium ion battery explosion. Which is no more a danger of vaping than burning down your house by leaving a cigarette lit. How dare these young persons enjoy nicotine (a substance NOT known to anyone to cause cancer) free of cancer causing agents and not funding states’ Medicaid funds!

Vox makes a case for a second Brexit vote, so now you know, its a stupid idea.

Well, it looks like Swiss’s son may not have to follow his dad to Afghanistan after all. I’m rooting for declaring victory, then leaving.

Bed time stories for adults? Instead of “once upon a time”, I think they all start “once we don’t need to work anymore”.

This is such a fun video. “How did that accountant get on stage, and man is he tearing up that drum kit”

Here I am in Florida again. It is a beautiful rainy day here. I hope everyone else is having a wonderful and laid-back day.

Trump gave Christie a little thrill, but no Chief of Staff offering.

Here’s a man bites dog story. Clearwater police fail to give suicidal man his suicide by cop. Good work, po-po.

Ukraine is strong like bull, creates its own Church.

Good-bye to The Weekly Standard. I guess nobody wanted a NeverTrump, warmongering, big-government version of conservatism.

Throwback Friday. Looking forward to these guys going out on tour again.

I’m stuck in Dearborn with a stomach bug. It has made me very popular with my clients and coworkers — who sent me back to the hotel. The internet is a wonderful thing. I can work from my hotel room nearly exactly the same as working at home. Its…lovely. Gray, cold, overcast, dreary. What’s not to love about winter in Michigan.

One of the really sad developments of my adulthood is to see sex being thrown back in the closet. Just with the moral scolds changing sides.

Here’s another reason why I don’t have internet enabled devices in my home. “Hey, Brett, could you ask your wife to model that bikini again before you change the password on your webcam?”

Its weird, but some sick part of me keeps seeing “Sid and Nancy” every time I read “Chuck and Nancy”. I’m rooting for a Donny-style shutdown. Fuck shutting down the National Parks. Shut down the Social Security direct deposit and see what happens! Go Nucular!

Trump administration wants to poison CA’s water supply! Not to worry, I’m sure state regs will fix it, right?

We all love our dogs, but when Darwin’s ghost comes knocking, let him have the dog.

Here’s something appropriately Detroit for the dog lover.

Merry Monday from Detroit. I was at the Happiest (and most expensive) Place on Earth last week. Thanks for Mexican Sharpshooter and Mad Scientist for stepping up.

Make penicillan (or deadly botulism!) at home with this simple recipe. Archived for TEOTWAKI, but I’m not ingesting mold I made at home unless the alternative is death.

Now I’ll see the animal version of ST. Peter saying, “Send us, Woga!”

My new option strategy — short TSLA whenever Elon Musk has an interview.

Raw cookie dough, much safer than raw lettuce.

So here’s the Motor City Madman.