I’ve checked the list twice. Some of you, naughty, some of you nice. (Some of you with terrible taste, but that’s another post.)
Wherever you fall on the Santa Worthiness Index, next week you are receiving a week of…SugarFree! He has been hard at work crafting a very special treat/punishment for you:
“A Hat and Hair Special Event: A Christmas Donald.”
This Event will run Monday through Friday at 1100. You’ve been warned! Surf the site during lunch at your peril!
Of course, you’ll also receive links from Banjos, Brett L, OMWC and perhaps others. Not Adahn kicks off your week with the IFLA forecast, and Nephilium continues his brewing series, FINALLY getting around to beer.
Your fellow Glibs A Leap at the Wheel, Plisade, I.B. McGinty, and banginglc1 will also be supplying great content for your evening edification and delight. The week wraps up with a review/not a review from mexicansharpshooter.
Alrighty then! On to the ever popular Saturday Night Open Post!
Thanks for being here, kids.
Comments
206 responses to “Saturday Night Open Post & Coming Attractions”
Surf the site during lunch at your peril!
Speaking of which, they’re predicting 50-foot high surf here in the San Francisco area during tomorrow’s rainstorm.
What does that mean? The sidewalks get cleaned finally?
The heavy rain will probably do a decent job of cleansing away the bum feces and urine from the local boulevards, but not ocean waves. Our ocean beaches are chilly, usually covered with fog, typically deserted, other than for some brave surfers with thick wetsuits, and the water is icy. The vast majority of the city’s residents live well east of the ocean side — the farther east you go in the city, the better a chance you have of the fog burning off in the morning and a nice sunny day until the fog returns in the evening. The main oceanside neighborhood is called the Sunset District, rather ironic in that it’s a rare day there when you can actually see the sun at all, especially not the sunset. Even the bums know to live on the warmer and sunnier side of the town, so that’s where you’d find the excrement.
As a not-beach person, those were all huge pluses for me when I visited Ocean Beach.
Yeah. Fucking place is freezing cold all the time. If it hits 70deg., the news goes defcon 7 about the massive heat wave and how to keep your pets from dying.
Screaming monster waves out at Mavericks, that’s crazy. We just had 8-10 during the last storm and the place was a zoo. Saw some guys riding tubes. Haven’t seen that in a long time.
Yeah, I remember one such heat wave. March, IIRC. Sunday morning, storm out of Alaska. Winds were offshore, and it was 75 out by 9am. Of course, I was hung over and in no shape to be fucking around in 15 foot surf.
I got about 5 waves, and then went back to the beach and immediately vomited.
Being that this was a dog beach, a bunch of dogs came over to eat my vomit. And that’s when the dog orgy broke out.
No different than any other day in the Bay Area, I suppose. But that was the day that I met my wife.
You’ve been hanging with SugarFree too much, dude.
Everything I wrote is the truth.
The only reason I remember the whole thing is because I got sunburned. In March. In the Bay Area. No sun exposure since August.
Because of the sunburn, but not because you met your wife that day.
That’s how the conversation started
“Is that a rash?”
“No. Sunburn. From a dog orgy.”
How could she resist a line like that?
The usual way would be with firearms, but in the Bay Area that option is foreclosed, which seems to have worked out to Playa’s benefit.
I used to surf Linda Mar in college. And a place in Marin. I’d have to look it up.
Me too. She was great once I got past the used part.
The temperature difference from one side of the city to the other is so great that if you drive fast enough across town, your window will crack.
Would be interesting to watch the surfers out there trying to ride them.
I blame global warming.
How can you be a libertarian in San Francisco without using drugs? Or did I just answer my own question?
Coming Attractions: The wife’s fury at this guy for coming home drunk as a skunk last night.
So…uh…how you doin’?
What did I miss?
Nothing. I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Ah shit. I just remembered that I’ve been waiting all day to link this. Is the glass half full or half empty?
That reverse animal rescue video HM linked yesterday had me rolling again last night when I came home. The bar has been raised with that one.
The guy casually popping ducklings back up onto the awning… LOL.
Reverse animal rescue?
Sir Tater: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAa5vsbVsa4
Irreversible.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0290673/
Oops. cs already linked to it.
Um, fine. You?
Coming attraction: intermammary sulcus.
http://archive.is/PTXwj
I couldn’t have made a better list myself.
2, 11, 26
#18 reminds me of how many Tilted Kilts are closing. Sad.
DOOOOOOOM!
http://nymag.com/intelligencer/2018/12/why-pewdiepies-anti-semitic-youtube-jokes-dont-hurt-him.html
NB: The New Yawkah would die to have as many viewers as PewDiePie.
And if you start from the position that PewDiePie is great and his critics unfair (and possibly disingenuous), you may soon find yourself taking on some unfortunate new political positions
I unfortunately became a Neo Nazi. Terribly unfortunate for me.
I thought you were one before seeing any PewDiePie videos.
My dog was. A gateway pug.
I thought I had one of those. Turned out, she is part messican. So, yappy and stubborn.
Somebody needs to youthsplain to me why I should give a shit.
You’re too stupid, according to the New Yorker, to abandon PewDiePie and thus are open to brainwashing. Or somethin.
Moi? LOL. I don’t follow “Youtube influencers”. THAT would be stupid.
Apparently if you are exposed to stuff on Youtube you become that stuff automatically. This is why they are “Influencers” rather than “idiots it is sometimes entertaining to watch.” Therefore if someone says something racist/sexist/antisemitic (unless they are saying destroy Israel ’cause that is only proper) they should be hounded from all media, silenced as thoroughly as possible, and unpersoned. This is not a vile attempt to silence all dissent, or even humor; it is the only possible way to protect members of oppressed groups who apparently get smacked in the head by a mystical ball bat every time someone uses a slur, because the people saying this have assured me that “hate speech is literally violence.”
It’s kind of like when the little kids in the audience clap and magically it saves Tinkerbell, but with more blood and screaming.
It pays the bills.
OFFS!
He must have a lot of Indian fans. Tons of Nazis here.
This Event will run Monday through Friday at 1100. You’ve been warned! Surf the site during lunch at your peril!
I’m off next Thursday and Friday. Maybe I’ll get to watch them live instead of dead.
I’m a happy and now poor papa. My son just got accepted to his first choice for college. Ouch…
straff – I went to bed last night before you answered, but yes I chose this handle realizing how arrogant it is. A bit of an inside baseball joke. It took me a few seconds to get the ティー茶 joke.
Congrats!
And condolences.
Congrats on the kid. We set up a college fund for the daughter when she was born. I eye that account with jealousy sometimes. “Sensei” is a fine name. It’s memorable and not some random handle like “Ted” or something.
Hateful.
And for what it’s worth, my name is Ted and my last name starts with an S.
Sounds like bullshit, to me.
Ted is a bell of a lot better name than Mike.
It does have a certain ring to it.
Fucking auto-correct changes hell to bell?
I don’t get why you capitalized the last letter of your name, Mikes.
1st letter of last name. No relation to Ted.
Thankfully I’m not related to you.:-p
Ted, when you say things’ like that, it hurt’s.
Gauntlet thrown.
Damnit, now I have to write a new joke if Mikes pays Patreon!
“Ted” can and does imply a lot of things.
It implies a witty, erudite commenter.
You’re ok in my book Ted!
Is he better off?
Yeah, we have a college fund too. It will be wiped out and some. When they are first born you don’t know if they are going to Toudai or commmunity college.
I’m still eternally grateful my parents saved for my college. I still worked summers and after school of course.
Uh, pretty sure Toudai is off the table. Unless the wife wants to make some extra change using my webcam.
HM discussed that in my learning a language post.
I rolled the dice and saved for my retirement (and the wife’s) instead of college for the kids. One is graduating from Cal Poly SLO in June and the other is at Cal in AFROTC with tuition paid by all of you taxpayers.
In-state rates help + I told the kids to apply to state schools because that’s what I can afford on a pay as you go basis.
And….. you were in jail for the last 18 months? Or was your internet broken?
My son is at Long Beach State. Annual tuition is about 6K, which strikes me as a bargain. Room and board are about twice that, and that’s what kills you. But if the kid is living at home, college doesn’t need to be expensive. This is what a lot of people do in Europe, where college is “free”.
In state, I hope?
No such luck. Howeve, good program for his major. God bless him he wants to be a secondary school teacher.
Congrats 🙂
The locusts are coming
Eric Swalwell’s response to those who question whether a 38-year-old guy is too young to run for president conjures memories of how President Ronald Reagan deflected criticism about being too old to seek re-election at age 73.
“I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience,” Reagan famously said during his 1984 debate with challenger Walter Mondale.
Swalwell, a Democratic congressman from California who is giving serious thought to seeking his party’s presidential nomination in 2020, believes age is just a number.
He has as much chance as Eric Garcetti. None. These younger Dems need to stop sniffing their own farts. They aren’t nearly as smart, well-known, and good looking as they think they are.
So close and yet so far
The good news first.
You can legally buy a brand-new car without a single air bag or any of the saaaaaaaaafety equipment mandated by the government since the late 1960s.
No back-up camera, ABS, TCS or black box data recorder.
Not even a seat belt buzzer.
A car you can see out of, too – that doesn’t need a back-up camera. Doesn’t try to parent you – and never nags you.
Even better news, these cars are brand-new 1960s Mustangs. Not restored originals, but brand-new cars – built using all new Ford-licensed sheetmetal and put together to a standard that wasn’t possible in the ‘60s.
They’re hand built apparently. Like Rolls Royce’s. Pretty cool.
Not rich enough though.
Cloning cars? My God, what have they done? Messing with nature, SMDH.
It’ll be fine… unless they figure out how to open doors.
“Clever girl”
“Standard power windows that look manual; they’re activated by the factory-stock-looking hand cranks.”
That’s weird.
“These new Mustangs cost about eight times what the originals did. $166,760”
Yikes!
WILLIAMS: Acceptable Racism
Golly, I’m shocked. SHOCKED!
https://www.claremont.org/crb/article/racism-revised/
Christmas present for straff?
https://www.ebay.com/itm/Hentai-Anime-sexy-naked-bunny-maid-rabbit-girl-PVC-figure-carrot-toy-no-box-7/192719352674?hash=item2cdef7f362:rk:1:pf:0
SFW?
I think that’s more JB’s territory. No wonder he has so many anxiety issues.
It’s not that I don’t see the attraction. It’s why you’d want to have to explain that to whoever finds it. Unless you leave that sort of thing lying around, in which case… crimony, why?
“How do you like my vegetable peeler?”
It’s called a “discussion piece”.
Learn to interior design, asshole!
Discussion: “WTF?
But seriously, WTF?”
Um, chastity is anything but arbitrary. (unless you’re talking butt, hand or mouth stuff)
Everything to Isabelle is technically doggy-style.
But seriously, WTF?
Let me explain it to you.
Welp, there goes the Family Friendly rating!
Dogs are very family friendly.
So endeth today’s lesson.
Well, yes, dogs are technically Family Friendly. And HM should know, having met ours.
This makes me chuckle. And I’ve knwon some of the sweetest pitbulls, so of course it’s bullshit. But I still chuckle.
This bitch is a frustrating opponent on Smash Bros
Yeah…this is not creepy as fuck. Not at all.
Yes, that person does look creepy as fuck. But also no mention of if the police were alerted by a concerned person he knew or were just clicking through Instagram and thought they should check on him is creepy, both from the reporting angle and if that is how it played out.
So… would?
I’m shocked! SHOCKED!
2 things – I liked it better when they called it a “welfare check” because it reminded me of ODB.
Also, millennials can’t even David Spade as well. Sad.
Dear Millennial hipsters,
KYS.
https://www.10tv.com/article/adulting-classes-teach-millennials-basic-skills-sewing-cooking-and-changing-tire
kthxbai!
What’s wrong with realizing you have a deficit and trying to correct it? They could still be demanding mommy to cook and clean for them.
They gotta get someone else’s mommy to cook and clean amirite?
*high five*
Don’t hate the player, hate the game.
I was one of those losers who was never taught how to change a tire.
I had a flat tire one day.
So I opened the owners manual and followed the instructions on how to replace with the spare.
Probably no class Is needed.
See, this right here is what I don’t get about certain people. This doesn’t apply to just millennials either, because I’ve actually met adults over the age of forty that have called plumbers for clogged sink drains. Most everything that I know how to do was never formally taught to me. I either picked it up from watching other people, or I was shit out of luck one day and had no choice but to dive in and figure it out. Everything began with trial and error. Are people really so unadventurous that the idea of simply trying something doesn’t even cross their minds? Are changing a tire or cooking a meal really that exotic?
No, but that’s what poor icky people do, deplorables!
Yes. Haven’t you seen the reactions of some people when you suggest something like trying the new Nepalese restaurant in town?
Well, to be fair, the Nepalese have been harboring Snow Smith for centuries. Letting him rape white women as long as he leaves the Sherpas alone. A ghastly people.
Don’t care. Momos are delicious.
Exhibit A: Snow Devils
Yes. They won’t even risk one dinner someplace “unusual” when they could go to McDonald’s afterward.
Now you made me hungry.
Wait, what is this magical device you name a…plunger?
I just heard a Marc Maron bit on plumbing rooters, it was blue collar comedy for dipshits. When you have to explain the joke, it’s not funny. His audience loved it.
The only stand-up I saw of him was insufferable.
Well, Reading is Fundamental. Schools should teach it or something. Maybe some math too. And logic and critical thinking would also be good.
Hope they get to do field work in Venezuela.
What the hell happened to home-ec. and shop class?
Common Core.
This.
Sexism.
Sexist Common Core.
Sexy Common Core.
“503 Service Temporarily Unavailable”
Her service was available to me, you must just be too pervy.
…or not pervy enough
In my district, home ec (FACS–family and consumer science) and shop are in middle school and home ec is mandatory.
Well, BYU has degrees in Homemaking, so if their are more of [YOU] in that distract than most, that could explain it.
I don’t live in Utah. I live in Missouri. There aren’t that many of [US], relatively speaking.
I was just saying if there is a greater concentration of [YOU] in the district. I know who whats and where fors. Though my local school district has a large concentration of [YOU], and still they dropped home ec, so really I’m just bullshitting.
Wait a minute… [this] is a thing now? I can’t keep up.
PS. I had home-ec and shop in middle school too. Of course it was thirty years ago.
I am making [THIS] a thing. Because [THEY] have come closer to installing a President than (((THEY))) ever did.
Yeah, I really appreciated that about high school in NYS, although my family already covered everything in both courses.
Maybe covered here, but I haven’t seen until now. Scrub-a-dub-dub Strozk and Page in a tub.
As usual, sounds like a Remy song.
You’ve also got the prosecuters unable to produce the 302s a judge demanded in the Flynn case. And of course, it involves Strzok. This whole thing stinks.
Stinks of Drumpf Collusion!
“So Mueller’s team wiped ALL of the data off of Peter Strzok’s iPhone after determining “it contained no substantive text messages.” Given what we know about Strzok, this smells like quite the coverup. Time for Congress to step in?”
Not going to happen.
Congress will step in, TO IMPEACH! ELECTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES!
Apparently the chain of custody doesn’t apply to the deep state?
All things are in custody of the deep state! Muhahahahaha!
The Deep State doesn’t exist. They assured me so.
(((They))) assured you? So OMWC is on it?!
Always.
Wait I just read the tweet I’m a bit confused now. So iPhone Strzok previously had was turned in to the FBI wiped and re-issued? Either I don’t see the controversy, or am I missing something?
I’m pretty sure they are required to retain any records on government issued phones.
O, mama san. Hawt.
*pours a 40 out for Francis*
I know I rubbed my octopus.
Weird. I don’t speak Japanese, but I’m sure can I understand what this guy is saying.
It’s the dog that is speaking. Look at her apron. You’re listening to doganese.
I was expecting jailhouse harmonica.
Like a sort of Oruchuban Ebichu situation?
Drinking are we? (I sure am.)
I discovered a fun new game! When I make fart sounds at the dog she gets terrified for some damn reason. This promises much sport!
Do we blame her?
Hell no! I’m loud and proud. I just get a kick out of teasing the animals.
The French are getting a zealous in their anti-smoking campaign.
Your parents are arguing downstairs about divorce while you’re crying all while Mr Brightside plays
Dude. Triggering.
But it’s about families!
Well, that’s true. I guess, technically, you’re hitting it on all cylinders tonight.
Surprised it’s not Twister Sister, but times change, eh.
But it’s just the price I pay
Therapy is calling me
I got hangups about being cheated on, and that song touches a raw nerve.
Pro tip: Having a rusty tin can lid collection has drastically reduced the amount of cheating to which I am subjected.
Due to my upbringing I find infidelity to be an unforgivable transgression. I’m pretty much a libertine in most other respects.
Absolutely. Zero tolerance.
Forgive? LOLOLOLOLOL
When you kick the cur to the curb
When you love her anyway
(At this point, it’s a point of pride not to give her any emotional remuneration. It goes both ways, hon.)
I, uh… what are the rusty tin lids for? Or is that the point? I don’t know that I can threaten a woman with a collection of rusty tin can lids. She’ll just throw them out. Or recycle them. Which is even worse, she’s being conscientious with my threat.
I’m sorry you have such a lack of imagination.
And/or judgment about relationship potential.
Recycling is bullsh!t anyway.
So say Penn & Teller. (And so do I.)
Jesus.
Well, alrighty then….
Please tell me that is a Gauloises.
Brooksed it.
Oui. Mssr.
When I was but a fledgling Festus I bought a pack of them for some unknown reason. Tasted like sad. We also used to smoke “Kojaks” from time to time.
California Proposes Texting Tax///SubtleHotness
Yep. Sorta like Flo.
Subtle hotness times three.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MkHAupj3X48
Clearly, I need to watch more late night TV. I had no idea there were Golden Girls and Bob Ross Chia Pets. /crosses off Christmas list
Which on was the slutty Golden Girl? That’s the one I want.
Um… I dunno. My Mom liked the show, but I always did other stuff while she was watching it.
Blanche, the southern one.
All of them were the slutty one.
Well, I suppose you people will want the posts to go up on time tomorrow. I guess I better go format and schedule them. Goodnight, kids!
Good night. Cranks stereo
You’re a million ways to be cruel.
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/49/f6/0e/49f60e1a931ce9859547a2a9d33aff1b.jpg
Does a titty fuck make me gay?
last !
Wrong!
I win.